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tgcg · 5 months

Text

ill break your shit adam

warning for adult lang

fuck you adam sandler

youre lucky karkat likes you

stupid fuck sees an amnesiac girl

and asks her can i marry you

that lady got issues mentally

you still down to do shit anally

deplorable zit on the ass of romanza

karkat told me to put that shit in this stanza

do raps even count as having stanzas

slam poetry tyke at preschool im no manza

youd probably jack it to a log with holes if they were wet ones

sitting on that stupid dock with her papa cracking cold ones

piece of shit id push you off that dock and watch you bubbling

kick your ass like her shitty bro failed when you were troubling

penguins dont quack like fucking ducks you dumbass

thats not part of the rap i just think that youre a dumbass

back to the rap sandler i bet you couldnt drop a single bar

too busy picking up stupid women at the stupid women bar

who even let you into hawaii

also did i say karkat liked you i was kidding he wants to kick your heinie

seriously watching that shit again made him start slamming his head into the cushions and screaming i had to pry them out his hands and he almost bit me

sorry i forgot i was rapping again

piece of shit forgot that you can like women while dating other men

still not over that chuck and larry shit adam

if you just said to the gov you were bi you coulda had em

firefighter of the year? well try putting out this heat

karkats gonna beat your ass like you do every night to your meat

gotta ask is this shit wish fulfilment for you

gotta say larry deserved better than you

i could treat him way better than you not in a gay way though

i just mean youre a massive sleaze basically the worlds shittiest bro

back to 50 first dates man sandler your shit is a bore

the stupid bits with schneider got my ass addicted to snore

if i was that stupid walrus id tear your ass to shreds

if i was that penguin i would also tear your ass to shreds

itd be harder but id still do it

bro fuck adam sandler im through it

===

TT: Wow. Bravo, Dave. You've outdone yourself.

TG: i wrote this one exceptionally fucking terrible to represent my inner darkness

TG: i can never unwatch those cinematic fossilized turds theyre like time capsules devoted to everything wrong with america

TG: you dont even understand how egregious that was

TT: I can sense the utter malaise and contempt in every word. It's beautiful.

TT: One particularly interesting point I'd like to make is the fact that you managed to refer to butts in a song about a male target, 10 times in the span of 37 lines. It's not an exorbitant amount, but it appears to be a running theme in your works. Very interesting, if you ask me --

TG: nooooo

TG: nope no

TG: not this shit again

TG: listen one of them is karkats fault

===

CG: ROSE, YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S DOING HERE AT ALL.

TT: No? Please, enlighten me Karkat.

CG: GLADLY.

CG: HE STARTS OUT WITH THE FRIGGIN WORD "ANAL" PRECEDING ALL OF THE OTHER MENTIONS, OF COURSE IT'S ON PURPOSE. IT INSTILLS THAT IMAGERY IN YOUR NUGBONE THROUGHOUT THE TRACK.

CG: AND YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED A RECURRING USE OF THE WORD "SHIT", IN TANDEM. BOG-STANDARD FOR DAVE, RIGHT? NO! IT'S PART OF THE EFFECT!

CG: MY THESIS: ADAM SANDLER MOVIES ARE PIECES OF ABSOLUTE SHIT AND THE REFERENCES TO WORDS LIKE "LOG" AND "SHIT" AND "ASS" ARE TO INVOKE THE SENSE OF TAKING A MASSIVE DUMP THROUGHOUT THE SPAN OF THE RAP, WHICH BY ALL MEANS WOULD BE AN EQUAL OR GREATER USE OF YOUR TIME THAN WATCHING THOSE MOVIES.

CG: RIGHT, DAVE?

TG: … yeah

TT: Okay, I'm willing to concede to that. On this subject matter, as an avid terrible movie enjoyer, you admittedly know better than myself.

CG: SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

TT: And you love them anyways.

CG: YEAH.

TG: hes right

TG: you hear that shit hes right

TG: fuck death of the author im verifying that interpretation

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #rose lalonde #homestuck #made with instrumentals of ether by nas in mind #posting early bc im impatient #comix

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semi-imaginary-place · 4 months

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started apollo justice.

Case 2 what is with this case and feet

Case 3 in a functioning legal system apollo and klavier would never assigned to this case as they are both too close to the events they'd be recused. Also borgenia has breached containment and entered the main games. Northern europe??? I thought it was central europe as hell but maybe im thinking of bohemia. Or maybe more southeast you know with like croatia and all the tiny countries.

This series really doesn't know what recusal is.

yeah time to insult the jury that deciding the result.

What even is the gavin brothers' relationship. Kristoph passive aggressively pressuring klavier. Damn klavier "you aren't needed anymore". yeah time to insult the jury

Isnt lamoir a bogenian citizen? How the hell did she get called up for jury duty for japanifornia

misty fey and thalassa gramarye is a death match fighting over who can be more of a deadbeat mom and abandon more kids. (I think misty is winning since thalassa really only abandoned 1 kid intentionally). what wrong with the families in ace attorney. the gramaryes are a mess. really says something that disbarred unemployed phoenix is the most stable adult in Trucy's life

a lot of people talk about how this game is bad, and it didn't blow me away but I found it enjoyable. Part of it is probably that I'm not all that attached to the original trilogy cast (it's mostly phoenix and edgeworth for me) so I don't mind the new cast. I liked the side characters overall, sometimes more than some of the earlier games (although WHY did they bring back the quack fake molester doctor). final case brought everything together nicely.

#aa

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danniburgh · 3 years

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what if javi brought me a cupcake after a long, shitty day? i didn't even ask him, he just KNEW, and he brought me a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting, and let me vent about my day. and then we went for a walk in a park and he told me loved me for the first time. like what if that happened? you could make it happen, i bet. <3

my baby thank you for handing some fluff to me, im in love yes yes yes i want this SOFT

warnings???? HELL NO THIS IS TOOTH ROOTING SWEET

“Okay, let’s go,” Javier tapped two fingers on your desk and you turned up to see him, frowning, before you could say anything he motioned his hand for you to stand up and you did, “let’s get out of here,”

“Javier,” you whined under your breath but did it anyway, he smirked when he saw you slowly grabbing your bag and your jacket and he raised his hand for you to take it “really?” he nodded, you took it and the both of you walked outside the office, the small amount of people still there paid no attention as you walked hand in hand out of the embassy and through the parking lot. Javier opened the truck door for you and you smiled tiredly to him, hopping inside.

He did the same and turned on the ignition, driving out of the embassy’s parking lot and turning on the avenue, he drove for fifteen minutes and stopped next to a café.

“Wait here,” he half asked, half ordered, and you nodded, following his movements as he got off the car and walked into the café, a few minutes later he walked out with a small carton box in hand, comically small in his large hand and got back inside the car. Javier smiled at you and handed the box “got you the last one,”

You grabbed the box and bit your lip, when you opened it you let out a contented sigh and looked at him, giving him the first smile of the evening after the shittiest day you’d had in the entire week.

“Eat,” he said, nodding at the small chocolate cupcake in your hands and driving again, he knew you loved the cupcakes in that specific café, and the fact that he had driven out of the way fifteen minutes to catch the last one for you made your heart swell in love. You lifted the small cupcake and licked the vanilla frosting on top, sighing again in love and enjoyment “it’s good?” he asked, smiling at how your face brightened after giving the first bite and how you nodded enthusiastically.

“Marvelous,” you said with your mouth full, moving your hand to put the cupcake in front of his mouth, he shook his head.

“It’s yours,” you scrunched your nose and pushed slightly the tip on his lips, getting some frosting on his plush mouth, he smiled and gave the smallest of bites to the cupcake and hummed in satisfaction “it’s great,”

Javier turned into a street and you saw the parking lot entrance to the Simón Bolivar central park, as you shoved the last piece of cupcake inside your mouth you smiled and looked at Javier, amazed he had remembered it was your favorite park in the city, the first one you had visited and the one that you enjoyed the most.

He hopped down the truck when he parked and jogged at your door to open it for you, making you laugh at his almost foreign chivalry. Without saying a word, he leaned to you and gave you a small kiss, grabbed your hand, intertwined his fingers in yours and guided you inside the park.

“Alright, tell me everything,” Javier said while you saw the few ducks that were still walking around before going to sleep, you sighed and started venting and rambling about every single shitty thing that had made your mood bury itself twenty feet deep and made you a grumpy mess at the end of the workday, he didn’t say a word besides a few nods and hums in agreement, he just watched you move your free hand around as you swore all your coworkers off and gave your strong perspectives to him and the air, he smiled at one snarky comment you made and laughed at your sarcastic commentary. You sighed when you finished, all empty of your shitty mood.

“Look, a big duck!” you pointed in front of you with a smile and he let out a deep laugh.

“Fuck, I love you,” he mumbled, you widened your eyes and looked at him, he looked like a highlighted deer. You bit your lip and stepped closer to him, your free hand cupped his jaw and he leaned into your touch.

“I love you too, Javi,” you whispered, he let out a deep breath and you smiled to him, he captured your mouth into his and you kissed and kissed and kissed until a duck quacked next to you and startled both.

pedrito's perma list: @queenofthefaceless @northernpunk @pascalesque

#javier peña #Javier Pena #javier peña x reader #javier peña drabble #FLUFF AT LAST!!!!!#narcos #narcos netflix #narcos drabble #Pedro Pascal #Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal #pedro pascal characters #ask request

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lilhwahwa · 3 years

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wolf au frenemies to lovers, maximum angst, actually i read smth similar to that, it was kind of long around 5-10k word one shot of like wolf hongjoong, one sided enemies to lovers and fuckkkk its a personal favourite.

and ill probably watch it after graduation , bc ill have free time then, ill make sure to update u on my thoughts. and as for what im gonna do after i graduate, i plan on going for smth art related, like @.alythuh on twitter, she is my role model, sexy rich and talented.

oh to be babied by someone, pls everything's been so hectic i just wanna sit and have someone coddle me, pls pls pls its a need. tending for myself is getting boring, someone do it for me for once.

confession : i may have researched on where to get the glucose papis bc thats like, leeching men for the money they abundantly have?? id like that. but now that u mention it i do have a tendency to get attached to ppl quickly ,,, and i see u r a fellow puppy enjoyer i am too , i have 3 puppies rn and i plan to expand the family (btw namjoon's fucking hot wtf man its not fair)

(also us having 5 convos at once is like a 'get to know me' speed round) - S2

YOU READ THAT AND WHY AM I NOT SEEING A LINK?? PSPS LINK JUICESEYO RN??? HOW SELFISH OF U (jk pls ur bestest) love ppl hating me and then turning soft, is the bad boy complex showing ??

I just checked that user out and she seems hella cool. I say go for it! You’ll be becoming people’s role model soon im sure. You got the attitude for it 💅🏼

Pls that’s so relatable but I’m also the type of person who denies wanting it bc ScoRpio tingz uwu. Like pls hold me but I will act like I’m disgusted. Thankfully I have my very cool Capricorn babie to read my thoughts and she holds me despite of my 🙄 the rest of my friends only like cuddles when we’re drunk so-

I FUCKING LOST IT AT “GLUCOSE PAPIS” PLEAEE IM FUCKINT QUACKING RN AND YOU HAVE 3 PUPPIES???? WHAT BREED???? (Yes Namjoon has been ruining me for years now )

(Indeed speed dating X5, ok but those shows are so entertaining to watch- no way I’d stay single on that show 🙄🤝💅🏼)

#S2 anon #<3

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