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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 13
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that -do I even need to say it?- is not very good.
In the last chapter, Turner got attacked by a bat again and then spent some time dinking around and meeting Manny's siblings. This time, Turner... dinks around with Manny. Because he hasn't done enough of that yet!
(As always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 13
Next week, Turner didn’t even bother stopping by the bakery. Instead he headed right away to Manny’s Abuelito’s house.
I can see no way this could possibly go wrong!
He didn’t hear Lola or Reuben in the backyard, but he was sure Manny was there. Turner leapt into the backyard.
“Hey Turner!” Manny said, looking up from the block tower he was working on. “Wanna help me?”
“Help? With what?” Turner asked, hopping over.
Manny gestured to the tower. “I’m trying to make it really high!”
Turner examined the base of the tower. “Why do you have so many blocks here?”
“Because the bottom has to be the longest or the tower will fall over.” Manny explained. “Each layer has a few less blocks than the other layer, that way it’ll be balanced!”-
That’s not a “tower”, that’s a pyramid.
You can make a tower with just a single block on each level; just make sure that all their centers of masses are lined up and there’s no strong lateral forces (read: wind) that might make it topple over.
Unless all your blocks are different shapes. Then you might have to get a bit… creative.
-He picked up something sitting beside him. “Abuelito let me borrow his level to make sure it’s perfect!”
How… would a level… help here.
“Wow kid, you really are prepared.” Turner said.
Manny nodded as he started putting more blocks onto the tower.
“I wanna fix stuff when I’m grown up.” Manny said, picking up another block. “So I gotta practice with tools.”
Turner went over and started handing blocks over to Manny.
Just here to say that I’m dubbing the tools’ ability to hold stuff despite not having hands “toolikinesis”.
“And when I’m older, Abuelito said I can get my own tools!” Manny said, excitedly. He looked down at Turner and smiled. “I hope I can get a screwdriver as great as you one day!”
Turner was taken a bit back by this. As great as me? He stumbled backwards and accidentally bumped into the block tower, sending it crashing to the ground.
Gee, is it possible for something mildly unsteady to exist in any work of fiction for more than a few seconds without being knocked over?
“Oh no!” Manny cried out.
“Oh uh...sorry kid…” Turner said, feeling bad.
“It’s okay, Turner.” Manny sighed, picking up the blocks.
“Why don’t I help you rebuild it?” He suggested.
Manny smiled again. “Gracias Turner!”
Turner went over and gathered all the scattered blocks into a pile. Manny grabbed some of the blocks and restarted the base. “Maybe I shouldn’t make it so big this time.”
“Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” Turner said.
Manny made the base smaller and stacked the blocks up one by one, with help from Turner.
“It’s perfect!” Manny said, taking a step back to look at it.
Turner smiled gently. “Yeah, it looks great, kid!”
“Now it just needs one more thing…” Manny said. He picked off a small flag and placed it on top of the tower. “There!”
And the flag stays upright how? Does it have a base attached to the pole, or did he somehow wedge it between two blocks?
Describe things, author, describe things!
“Well that was fun kid, but uh I really need to be heading off…” Turner said.
“Oh okay.” Manny frowned. “....Turner wait!”
“Yeah?” He said, turning back around.
“Abuelito’s cucumbers are ripe! Do you want one?” Manny asked.
I can’t believe I almost forgot why I came here.
I can.
“Oh yeah, thanks kid.” Turner said.
Manny got a bag and wrapped one up for him. “Here you go!”
“Thanks.” Turner said, before he started hopping away.
That was a close one...I don’t think Teeth would be too happy if I came back with nothing.
No, it’s suspicious if you never have a day when the “dumpster” is empty.
“Hey! I stopped by the community garden again!” Turner said, before Swift could say anything.
“Oh what did you get?” Twist asked as she leaped over. “Oh! A pepino! I love cucumbers!”
“Yep nice and fresh from the garden.” Turner said.
You’re missing a comma there…
Teeth went over to examine the produce. “Another good find there!”
“Thank you.” Turner beamed proudly.
“I’ll go put it behind one of the trash cans. It’s shady enough that it will stay as cool as a….well...cucumber…” Twist laughed as she dragged the bag over.
Now, I know that, what with me having just typed the word “toolikinesis”, this is kind of the pot calling the kettle black, but that joke is bad.
Swift still felt unsure about Turner’s story.
Maybe he’s been getting these from the community garden the whole time….Then why lie?
Swift eyed him for a second before deciding it let it go. She instead showed the few pieces of bread she’d found at the park.
“I had to scare some pigeons off to get it.” She explained.
Okay, now that joke is actually kinda funny.
“And you did a great job by the looks of it!” Teeth said, kissing her cheek gently.
She blushed and bit and pulled back. Her gaze went back over to Turner as she put the bread behind the trash can.
I’m watching you screwdriver….
You stole one of my commas…
Wow, that was a short one.
I guess that disproves my theory about Manny’s presence causing chapters to extend to absurd lengths…
(Despite this, the next chapter is still absurdly long.)
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 38
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that... well, it just isn't very good.
Wow, it's actually been a whole week since the last chapter of this review was posted. (I'd like to say that I took spring break off, but really I was just working on other stuff.)
Last time, our quartet of "main" characters rode all around town diligently hanging up copies of Twist's "MISSING" poster... by which I mean they hung up like two and then got distracted by an ice cream shop. Today... they're going to eat some ice cream. Woohoo.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 38
After riding around town, the four of them plopped down on the sidewalk in front of the print shop again.
Allow me to take this time to make a prediction: Just because there wasn’t a pointless time-wasting scene of Pumpetunia inflating tires when we were introduced to Kira and Lilly’s bikes, doesn’t mean there isn’t going to be a pointless pumping scene sometime later in the story.
“Well, that should do it!” Lilly panted out, leaning her back against the building. She turned her gaze towards Felipe and Pumpetunia. “We’ll get a call in no time!”
“I hope so.” Felipe sighed, looking away slightly. “I just….I just wish I knew why she left…”
Pumpetunia gently put her hose around him, pulling him closer, trying to comfort him.
“I’m really sorry…” Kira said, biting down a bit on her lip slightly.
“Me too…” Lilly frowned. “You guys really miss her, huh?”
Felipe nodded. "I think it's been the hardest on Pumpetunia." He looked at the bike pump sitting next to him, and gave her a gentle nuzzle in comfort.
"I understand." Lilly said. "I'd be sad if my gifriend went missing too!" She reached over and grabbed Kira's hand, giving it a tight squeeze.
Ah yes, Kira is Lilly’s “gifriend”. That means that she agrees with Lilly about how “GIF” should be pronounced.
Kira leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, making her giggle slightly.
The door to the print shop opened and Maude stood in the doorway. "How did hanging the fliers go?"
"It was exhausting!" Lilly huffed out, plopping onto her back on the sidewalk.
"Oh, I'll bet." Maude said. "I saw you biking all around town."
If she was in the print shop working at her job this whole time, how the heck could she have seen them bicycling around… whatever town they’re in? (San Diego?)
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a few bills. "Why don't you get some Ice cream and treat yourself?"
One, “Ice” shouldn’t be capitalized as it’s in the middle of the sentence.
Two, HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW THEY WANTED TO GET ICE CREAM?!
Felipe's eyes lit up. "Ice cream!?"
Crazy out-of-nowhere theory: Maude is psychic.
“Thank you.” Kira said sheepishly, grabbing the money.
“Of course!” Maude smiled. “You deserve a break with how hard you were working. If you need any more help finding your friend, feel free to ask.”
“Thanks…” Kira said again, heading back to her bike, placing Pumpetunia the basket. “Let's get going…”
“Right!” Lilly said, grabbing Felipe and putting him into her own. “Ice cream here we come! Wahoo!”
As they biked to the store rain started to patter down.
Oh no, is Felipe going to rust?
No, of course not. Rust is only a problem when it’s narratively appropriate; at any other time, a screwdriver can (and, at one point, did) go for a swim in a park fountain and not have to worry one bit about corrosion.
"They said it was gonna be sunny all day!" Lilly pouted.
Pumpetunia shivered as she ducked into the basket, trying to avoid the drops.
Felipe crouched down too, but the rain was getting harder.
Once they got to the ice cream shop, the girls quickly locked up their bikes before hurrying inside.
Felipe laughed a bit. “We’re all drenched!”
“Yeah we are!” Lilly giggled, grabbing some napkins and trying to dab her shirt dry.
Kira leaned against the table, out of breath still from biking around town.
“Are you okay?” Lilly frowned, putting her hand on her back.
“Yeah…I’m fine….” She breathed out. “I’m just tired from putting up all the posters…”
Kira closed her eyes, resting her tired eyes.
“Do you want me to just order for us so you can take a nap?” Lilly teased.
It appears Random Nap Syndrome has struck again.
Kira nodded, not even raising her head.
How the heck do you nod without raising your head?
“What do you guys want?” Lilly asked Felipe and Pumpetunia.
“Oh! I’ll take strawberry!” Felipe said, excitedly, before turning to Pumpetunia to ask what she wanted.
“¡Quiero pistacho!” [“I want pistachio!”] She replied.
“Strawberry and pistachio, got it!” Lilly said, heading over to the counter.
Felipe looked at Kira, still slumped over, and hopped over towards her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Kira let out a muffled sound in reply, not even raising her head at all.
Pumpetunia used her hose to gently stroke her hair.
"¿Se encuentra ella bien?" [“Is she okay?”] Pumpetunia asked.
"Sí, solo está exhausta." [“Yeah, she’s just exhausted.”] Felipe explained.
Pumpetunia let out a small yawn. "Yo también." [“Me too”] She leaned against Felipe .
Oh, COME ON!
"Supongo que yo también estoy cansado". Felipe said, also drowsy.
ARRGH!
WHY IS RANDOM NAP SYNDROME SUDDENLY CONTAGIOUS?!
The three of them dozed off at the table, only awoken by the sound of a thud on the table.
Thank goodness there’s not another dream sequence…
"Ah!" Kira jolted up, followed by the tools.
"Sorry, did I interrupt nap time?" Lilly giggled.
Kira gave her a tired smile before giving Lilly a kiss on the cheek.
Lilly scooted into the seat next to her and handed her a cup of chocolate swirl ice cream.
"Thanks." Kira said, putting her spoon in.
Lilly then set a small strawberry and pistachio in front of Felipe and Pumpetunia.
"Oh, thank you!" Felipe said.
"¡Gracias!" Pumpetunia said, already face first into her ice cream.
Lilly put her arm around Kira, pulling her closer.
"Thank you for helping us with the posters." Felipe said.
"Hey, no problem!" Lilly said. "I hope we can find your sister."
"I do too…" Felipe sighed.
Kira slid her spoon up and down her ice cream, leaving a small streak along the side.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Lilly asked, gripping Kira's shoulder.
She nodded, not looking up from the ice cream. "I was just thinking." She looked over at Felipe and Pumpetunia. "I think I'm ready to tell you about why I'm at the shelter."
“Hopefully, the rainstorm outside will provide dramatic thunder at appropriate moments.”
"Only if you feel comfortable with that." Felipe said. "If you don't want to, you don't…"
"No, no, it's fine." Kira insisted. "I feel like I can trust you both " She turned towards Felipe. "Can you translate the story for Pumpetunia for me?"
"Of course!"
"Thanks." She gave a small smile before it turned into a worried expression. "My parents weren't…. weren't really happy when I told them about Lilly…being my girlfriend."
Gee, that was…
Felipe looked horrified before anxiously turning towards Pumpetunia, and shakily, he translated to her.
… kind of predictable, honestly.
Pumpetunia's eyes widened as he looked over at a now distressed looking Kira.
Author, you should’ve thought harder and came up with a unique reason for Kira to be homeless that isn’t so… so cliche.
Once Felipe finished his translation, Pumpetunia hopped over to Kira and gently held onto her arm. "Lo siento…" [“I’m sorry”]
"She said she's sorry."
Kira pulled her into a hug. "Gracias." She sniffled.
Felipe went over, and Kira pulled him close too. Then Lilly pulled all three of them over, giving a tight squeeze.
“Thanks guys…” Kira sniffled. She forced herself to look up, teary eyed.
Lilly grabbed her hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
“So I…I’ve been staying at the shelter for the…last few months.” Kira continued. “Until I can find somewhere to stay…”
“My parents don't know about us.” Lilly added. "I don't feel comfortable coming out to them…."
It’s a toss-up whether this will turn out to be a bombshell the author will randomly drop when they feel they need some emotional torque or a sudden plot twist, or whether it’ll be one of those lines that the author will completely forget they wrote and accidentally contradict later.
She started playing with her spoon, mixing her now slightly melted ice cream.
Kira looked over at Felipe. "Can you ask Pumpetunia about her and Twist?"
"Ella quiere saber sobre ti y Twist" [“She wants to know about you and Twist”] Felipe said.
Missing a period there, writer.
Pumpetunia looked hesitant for a moment, still feeling slightly emotional about her lost girlfriend.
After a moment, she started gushing about Twist.
Felipe had hard time keeping up with her as he translated for Lilly and Kira:
"Where do I even begin? Twist means everything to me, she’s the love of my life! And I….I miss her so much….I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t find her….I love her so much and…I just wish she had stayed…I’d never let her get thrown into a scrap metal bin!”
What is it with Twist- and Iron Grip, for that matter- that they’re willing to up and abandon the loves of their lives the moment something damages them?
She started shaking a little. “If she stayed. I would have kept her safe…” She clung to Felipe and looked at him, “We both would have kept her safe! She’s our family and family sticks together…” She nuzzled more against Felipe. “And we’ll stick together.”
Kira put her arm around Pumpetunia, stroking her back gently. She leaned towards Felipe and asked, “How do I say ‘Everything’s gonna be okay’ in Spanish?”
"Todo estará bien.”
“Todo estará bien.” She said gently to Pumpetunia.
Pumpetunia looked over, teary eyed, and gave her a small smile. Kira pulled her into a tight hug, trying to comfort her.
Felipe went over and joined in, nuzzling Pumpetunia.
For now at least, they all felt okay, and that's all that mattered.
Yeah, that’s not going to last.
While proofreading this review, I had an interesting thought: Due to this fanfic’s nature as a prequel, we know that Felipe is inevitably going to have to abandon his search for Twist and come to live with Manny.
In Part 1, Turner met Twist, and learned that she had a brother she abandoned, before he settled down with Manny.
So, when Felipe finally meets Manny (which will probably be after a bit of a timeskip given what I said earlier), what plot contrivance is going to prevent Turner from telling Felipe that he’d met his sister, and had a rough idea of where to find her?
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 37
Hello and welcome back to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a fanfic based on Handy Manny that is- dare I say it- not very good.
Last time, Felipe and Pumpetunia met Lilly and they decided to make missing posters for Twist... but not before plunking around at a diner first. Today, we return to watch as the quartet bike around town, hang up posters, and generally don't do anything very interesting.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 37
After breakfast, the four of them headed to the print shop with their hand drawn flyer.
“Hand-drawn” should be hyphenated, although that’s not really a very funny error.
Kira headed over to the counter and put the drawing down on the counter. “Excuse me, ma’am?”
The woman at the counter turned around and gave him a small smile. “Oh hello dear, what can I do for you?”
“How many copies can I get for five bucks?” Kira asked.
“I can print out ten copies for that much.”
Only ten? Kira tried to hide her disappointment with a smile as she slid her the five dollars. “Thank you.” Then went back to the others.
“It’ll be done in about twenty minutes.” The woman said.
Geez, how slow is your copier?!
“Thanks again.” Kira said, before turning back to the others. “Wanna wait outside?”
“Sounds good to me.” Lilly said, grabbing her hand, and heading towards the door.
Once outside, the four of them sat on the sidewalk, and Kira took out her sketchbook again. “Okay, I only had enough to get ten printed.”
“But…but…” Felipe pouted. “That won’t be enough to find Twist…”
“I know…” Kira frowned. “That’s why we're going to hand draw some more posters!”
Oh boy.
She grabbed some extra pencils from her bag and ripped out some sheets of paper for everyone.
PAHAHA!
“I’m not much of an artist.” Felipe said.
I wasn’t expecting her to make everyone else try to draw posters too!
“It’s okay!” Kira reassured him. “Just try your best, okay?”
“Okay.” Felipe smiled, grabbing the top of the pencil in his mouth, and putting it to the paper. “Here I go…”
Schrodinger’s Toolikinesis strikes again…
Pumpetunia wrapped her hose tightly around her pencil and started her drawing too, sighing slightly, thinking of her girlfriend. Te extraño… [“I miss you…”]
"You're doing a great job, guys!" Kira said.
"Oh, thank you!" Felipe said.
Pumpetunia was still focused on her drawing, trying to get the details just right. She stroked her drawing, as if she were stroking her face again.
Her mind wandered back to a night they had together.
ANOTHER FLASHBACK?! AAAAARGH!
The two of them sat under a bike they'd been working on that day. Pumpetunia wrapped her hose around Twist and held her close, nuzzling against her face.
"Hermosa…" [“Beautiful…”] Twist breathed out.
"¿La bicicleta?" [“The bicycle?”] Pumpetunia asked.
Okay, I have to admit that’s kind of funny.
Twist giggled and got closer. "Me refiero a ti." [“I mean you.”]
"Oh!" Pumpetunia blushed, before letting out a small laugh herself. She stroked down her body, stopping at her shank.
Although not broken it was starting to bend slightly. Pumpetunia frowned and kept stroking it.
"¿Estás bien?" [“Are you okay?”] She asked, softly.
"Huh?" Twist was confused, until she looked where Pumpetunia's hose was.
"Sí, estoy bien... estoy bien…" [“Yeah, I’m fine… I’m fine…”] She quickly reassured her, pulling back slightly.
Pumpetunia was still unsure if she truly was all right, but decided to drop it.
Twist looked over softening slightly when she noticed how tense she looked, and scooted back over to her.
Their blushful faces were touching again. This was the closeness Pumpetunia loved, more than anything…. Well only second to her love for Twist.
GET ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY!
Feelings of fondness flooded through her, as she pushed Twist even closer, making their cheeks touch.
Twist's breath was heavy and warm,-
Okay, it’s time to address something that I really should’ve addressed a long time ago: The tools’ breathing.
The reason I hadn’t commented about it before is simple: This fanfic is based on an animated television series, so it’s reasonable to analyze it using the tropes of animation.
And, in animation, it’s common for characters and entities who really shouldn’t need to breathe to do so anyway, as it makes them more readable to the audience. They’ll pant and gasp when exhausted, not because they need the air, but so people watching the cartoon will immediately and instinctively know that they’re tired.
That’s why I’ve spent most of this review idly tolerating references to the tools breathing or holding their breath. But this… this is just too far. I’ve been pushed too much, and I snapped.
- making Pumpetunia smile slightly. She lifted her hose and turned Twist's face more towards her.
Slowly Pumpetunia leaned in and kissed her deeply. Twist's breathing slowed down as she returned the kiss.
Their lips gently touched as they snuggled each other close.
Tears pricked at Pumpetunia's eyes, as she dropped her pencil to the sidewalk.
Oh thank god it’s over.
"¿Estás bien?" [“Are you okay?”] Felipe asked, worried.
She sighed and shook her head. "No, la extraño." [“No, I miss her.”]
Felipe nuzzled against her in lieu of a hug. "Yo también." [“Me too.”]
"Ah, hey." Kira said, getting their attention. "Great drawings!"
There is absolutely no way she’s telling the truth there.
"Gracias." Felipe sniffled.
"I think the flyers should be done by now." Kira said. "Why don't we go check?"
Felipe nodded, tears sliding down his cheeks.
Lilly held the door for them as they went back inside.
The woman at the counter plopped down a large pile of flyers.
Kira was puzzled when she went over. "Oh, uh, we only ordered ten."
"I know." The woman said, "But I took a looked at your flyers and saw what they were for."
A small frown pursed her lips. "And I'm really sorry about your friend….So I decided to pay for some extra flyers myself to help."
"Oh, thank you!" Felipe said.
"This'll help a lot, thanks." Kira said, grabbing the pile of papers in her arms.
"No problem." The woman said. "If you need more printed, come in and ask for me, Maude."
"Will do!" Lilly said. "Gosh, you've been such a big help, Maude!"
Lemme guess: Maude is actually a minor canon character from Handy Manny that the author is dropping into the story for fanfiction brownie points.
She smiled sweetly. "It's no problem, really. Why don't you hang one in the shop window? Plenty of folks pass by everyday, maybe somebody around here has seen her?"
"Thanks…" Kira said, her voice quiet again.
Lilly grabbed a flyer and some tape off the desk then stuck it to the shop's front window.
"Good luck out there, dears!" Maude called out as they left the store.
Lilly gave her one more enthusiastic wave before they headed out.
"All right." Kira said. "There's a community bulletin board not too far from here, we could start there."
A community… bulletin board? As in an outdoor one?
That thing would be ruined by a minute-and-a-half rainshower.
"Good idea!" Lilly said, grabbing her hand. "Let's go!"
She nearly skipped down the sidewalk, dragging Kira along.
"Hey, wait for us!" Felipe yelled, hopping after them.
"¡Más despacio, por favor!" [“Slow down, please!”] Pumpetunia called out, trying to keep up.
Eventually they stopped in front of a small bulletin board outside the community center. Lilly grabbed one of the free thumbtacks and pinned the flyer up.
Is the community bulletin board under some sort of overhang?
Wait, I forgot that nothing in this story ever gets any sort of physical description so my question isn't going to be answered.
"Perfect!" She said before turning towards the others. "Where should we go next?"
"¿El refugio?" [“The shelter?”] Pumpetunia suggested.
How is it that Pumpetunia “only speaks Spanish”, and yet she’s regularly able to answer Kira and Lilly when they’re talking in English?
"The shelter, that's a great idea!" Felipe said.
"Oh, yeah there's a bulletin board there too." Kira said. "Good idea, Pumpetunia!"
The bike pump smiled, glad she could help. After hanging up a flyer at the shelter, they headed to the garage attached to the side.
"If we grab our bikes, we'll be able to go a lot faster!" Lilly said, grabbing her girlfriend's wrist gently, and leading her towards the bike racks.
The shelter has bike racks? WOW, THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO ESTABLISH BEFOREHAND, AUTHOR.
Also, are we going to have to sit through a pointless scene of Pumpetunia having to inflate one of the girls’ tires?
Lilly put the papers in the front basket before grabbing Felipe and placing him in too. "Perfect!"
"Thanks for the ride." Felipe chuckled.
Kira just stood there awkwardly, before turning towards Felipe. "Can you help me? I wanna ask Pumpetunia if she wants to sit in my basket."
Felipe was about to address Pumpetunia but Kira stopped him. "No…I mean, can you tell me how to ask her in Spanish."
"Oh, you wanna ask her, yourself?"
Kira nodded.
"All right!" Felipe said "Ask her, '¿Quieres sentarte en mi cesta?' "
Kira repeated a few times under her breath. "Okay… I think I got it…."
She turned towards Pumpetunia and asked her, "¿Quieres sentarte en mi cesta?"
I feel that translating that back into English would just be redundant.
"¡Me encantaría!" [“I’d love to!”] She answered, excitedly.
"She said she'd love to!" Felipe translated.
Kira gently picked up Pumpetunia and set her down in the basket. She shifted around slightly, rustling against the paper. "Es muy cómodo aquí." [“It’s very comfortable here.”]
"Are you ready to go?" Lilly asked Kira.
She shook her head as she buckled her helmet. "Now I'm ready."
"Oh my gosh!" Lilly gasped. "I almost forgot my helmet!" She quickly grabbed it and put it on her head. “All right, I’m ready now!”
They biked off, heading to the next location, the ice cream shop. The four of them leaned against the glass window, looking inside.
“Whoa!” Felipe said, his eyes widening in excitement. “Look at all that ice cream!”
Pumpetunia’s stomach growled.
I’d make a “deleting food from existence” joke, but they’ve probably stopped being funny by now.
"¿Tienes hambre?" [“Are you hungry?”] Felipe asked her.
She frowned and nodded.
“What’s wrong?” Kira asked.
“Oh, she’s just hungry.” Felipe said.
“Can you tell me how to tell her not to worry, we’ll eat later?” Kira asked.
"No te preocupes, comeremos más tarde.” [“Don’t worry, we’ll eat later”] Felipe said.
Kira turned to Pumpetunia and repeated what Felipe said.
“Gracias.” Pumpetunia smiled.
“The ice cream looks so good.” Felipe said.
“I knooooow!” Lilly said. “This place has, like, the best ice cream!”
“Maybe when we have some spare change, we can come back here.” Kira said, picking up Pumpetunia, and heading back to her bike.
“Okay!” Felipe smiled, hopping after Lilly to her bike.
Then the four of them headed off, ready to hang more posters.
But you never actually hung one up at the ice cream shop…
(Or maybe you did and the author just forgot to describe it.)
(After a bit of a hiatus, the next part of my review has now been posted!)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction reivew#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 35 and 36
So, as it turns out, there are ten more chapters of this fanfic tucked away on ArchiveOfOurOwn.org.
Hoo-ray.
Well, today we're picking up right after Felipe innocently asking Kira about her backstory caused Kira to storm out of the room.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 35
Kira sat down in the hallway, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to hold back tears. The door to the room creaked open, as Felipe and Pumpetunia hopped out.
That comma is not necessary.
“Kira?” Feliepe asked.
She looked up, sniffling.
“I’m sorry…” Felipe said. “I…I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“...It’s…fine…” Kira sighed. “I…I just needed some air.”
Well, Pumpetunia can help with that! (Sorry, bad joke.)
Pumpetunia put her hose on her shoulder in comfort.
Wow, speak of the devil.
Kira stayed silent for a moment.
“Do you need some alone time?” Felipe asked.
“No…It might be nice to have some company.” Kira said. “I’ve just been through some stuff…and I still need time to like…process it I guess.”
Ah yes, “some stuff”. I hate it when I go through ill-defined “stuff”.
(Yeah, I know it’s not in-character for her to reveal her tragic backstory at the moment, but all this nebulous teasing of it is driving me nuts. And, since we’re talking about tools, bolts too.)
“I understand.” Felipe said, before turning to Pumpetunia and translating for her.
Pumpetunia tightened her hug and gave her a gentle smile.
“....I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it….” Kira said.
“And that’s okay!” Felipe reassured her. “We don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
Kira smiled slightly. “Thanks guys…”
The three of them sat there in silence for a while, until Kira stood up. “My girlfriend’s coming over soon,”-
Oh jeez, not another romantic subplot.
-”I need to get dressed. I’ll tell you when you can come in.”
Felipe nodded, as Kira went back inside the room. A while later she opened the door and let them back in.
She’d changed into a light sweater, sweatpants, and had her blonde hair up in a bun.
Her hair was blonde this whole time? I’d kinda been picturing her with black hair for some reason.
Anyway, DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTERS WHEN YOU INTRODUCE THEM, AUTHOR!
“We’re going to have breakfast at the diner down the street. Do you want me to ask her if you guys can come?”
Felipe smiled. “That sounds great!” He turned to Pumpetunia and asked her.
“Oh, sí!” She said.
Wait…
If Pumpetunia only speaks Spanish, then why is her name a portmanteau of an English word and a given name that originated in England? Shouldn’t it be some sort of pun on “bomba de aire”, which is what Spanish-speaking people call air pumps?
Kira finished up the sunrise drawing in her sketchbook and shut it, before placing it back on her bed.
A bit later there was a knock on the door, and Kira hopped off the bed and opened it. A girl about her age pulled her into a tight hug.
Aaand we’re not going to be getting any better description of this “girl about her age”, are we?
“Hey Kira!” She greeted her excitedly.
“Hey Lilly.” She replied, her voice still kind of low, before pulling back. “I got some new roommates.”
Kira turned around and gestured towards the two tools. “Lilly, meet Felipe and Pumpetunia.”
“Hello!” Felipe said.
“Hola!” Pumpetunia waved her hose in greeting.
“Oh!” Lilly seemed surprised. “They’re tools?”
“Sí.” Felipe said, hopping over to her. “I’m a Phillips Head Screwdriver, and Pumpetunia is a bike pump!”
Can’t Lilly, you know, see that?
Pumpetunia nodded and went over to her. “"Encantada de conocerte!” [“”Nice to meet you!”]
Instead of the Spanish inverted exclamation point, the author accidentally put in a second quotation mark.
And that was possibly the weirdest grammatical error you’ll see today.
“She said it’s nice to meet you!” Felipe translated.
Lilly leaned down to both their levels. “Well, it’s nice to meet you too! I’ve never met tools before….Well, like ones that are alive I mean. I’m sorry, that isn’t rude is it?” She started stumbling over her words.
“No, no it’s fine.” Felipe reassured her. “Not everyone is used to seeing us.”
“It’s okay Lilly.” Kira said, stroking her hair in comfort. “They’re both really nice.”
“Sorry…” Lilly said, sounding a bit embarrassed. “It’s nice to meet you….Oh I said that already, didn’t I? Sorry.”
Oh my god you’re annoying.
“It’s okay.” Felipe said.
“So uh, breakfast?” Lilly asked, still sounding slightly awkward.
“Sounds good to me.” Kira said, grabbing her purse.
“Oh! Do you guys wanna come with us?” Lilly asked.
“Sure!” Felipe said, before translating for Pumpetunia.
“All right!” Lilly smiled as she went over to the door. “Let's go!”
“Let’s plunk around for a chapter or two and delete some matter from existence!”
Chapter 36
The group headed to a small diner just down the street, and smushed together into a booth.
Lilly and Kira both grabbed a menu, while Felipe and Pumpetunia shared a menu.
“All of this looks so good!” Lilly said. “I don’t know what to order!”
“Me neither…” Kira said, scanning the menu.
Felipe and Pumpetunia looked over theirs, trying to decide what to get.
Pumpetunia pointed her hose at something.
“Oh, panqueques?” -
Yes, that’s really how Spanish-speakers spell “pancakes”.
- Felipe asked. “Suena bueno para mi!” [“Sounds good to me!”]
“I think I’ll get the waffles.” Lilly decided. She looked over at Kira and gently grabbed her hand.
“What about you?”
“I think I’ll get the omelet…” Kira said, folding the menu back up and placing it back on the table.
“Good choice!” Lilly said, giving her hand a squeeze. She looked at Felipe and Pumpetunia. “What did you two decide on?”
“We’re getting the pancakes!” Felipe said.
“Oh nice! It’s kinda like what I’m getting….Kinda…” She giggled. “Except mine’s shaped like a square and yours is uh…a circle…or an oval in some cases!”
Why do you think that they don’t know what waffles are?
Also, in my experience, pancakes are more lumpy than either a circle or an oval. Although that might just be from my dad’s “cooking skills”.
“Not exactly.” Felipe said. “Waffle batter has more sugar and oil in it.”
“Oh…” Lilly looked down at the table awkwardly.
“Oh, no, it’s okay!” Felipe said. “I’m sorry, I…I was just trying to make conversation….”
Weirdest attempt to “make conversation” ever.
“No, no it’s okay.” Lilly said. “Sometimes I just overthink things, I know I shouldn’t but….I…I don’t know. I think it might just be an anxiety thing.”
“No, I understand.” He tried to reassure her. “I get anxious too.”
“You do?”
Felipe nodded. “It’s okay to be anxious sometimes.”
//Groan…//
Pumputenia looked over at Felipe, and asked what they were talking about. He explained to her, and she softened slightly.
She scooted closer to Lilly and smiled gently. “Yo también me pongo ansiosa" [“I get anxious too”]
JUST. STOP. TALKING!
“She said she gets anxious too.” Felipe translated.
"Estoy preocupado por mi novia" [“I’m worried about my girlfriend”] Pumpetunia sighed.
[“And my missing punctuation. Has anyone seen the periods from my last two sentences?”]
“She said she misses her girlfriend.” Felipe frowned.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Lilly frowned.
“We’ve been looking for her.” Felipe explained. “That’s why we're out here….”
“Maybe we could make posters to find her.” Lilly suggested. “What does she look like? Maybe Kira could make some drawings of her!”
But that would require them to describe Twist to her, and you know the author can’t handle descriptions!
Felipe’s eyes widened in excitement as he turned to Kira. “Could,,,could you do that?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah I could do that.” Kira said, smiling gently. She reached into her bag and pulled out her sketchbook and pencil.
You’re actually going to attempt this, author?
Oh boy, this’ll be GREAT!
"¿Que esta pasando?" [“What’s going on?”] Pumpetunia asked.
“Estamos haciendo carteles para encontrar a Twist" [“We’re making posters to find Twist.”]
"¿Realmente?" [“Really?”] She asked.
Felipe nodded and tilted his head towards Kira
"¡Oh gracias!" Pumpetunia said.
“So, what’s her name?” Kira asked.
I’d complain, but I checked the story and Kira actually did manage to go until now without finding out Twist’s name.
“Twist.” Felipe said.
“Twist….” Kira said, writing her name on the top of the paper. “What does she look like?”
“Oh, she’s yellow like me, but a darker yellow, and the band on her handle is blue. She recently had an accident and her blade is bent to the right.”
Um, when Twist was introduced, her blade was bent to the left.
I know this is just authorial stupidity, but it does create in my mind the idea of Twist going through various Looney Tunes-esque attempts to straighten out her blade, only for the last attempt to work a bit too well and kink her blade to the left.
Kira started sketching from Felipe’s description. “Anything else?”
“Uh, I’ll see if Pumpetunia has anything to add.” He turned towards her and asked.
“"Una sonrisa bonita" [“A beautiful smile”]
Oh look, the Spanish word for “smile” looks like the English word “sunrise”. SYMBOLISM!
(Also, there’s that extra quotation mark again.)
“A beautiful smile.”
I have to admit, though, this joke is actually pretty fu-
“Right, beautiful smile….” Kira said, adding onto the drawing.
IT WASN’T A JOKE?!
"Y grandes hoyuelos" [“And big dimples”]
I remember the time in Biology class we had to do an assignment on genetic traits, and part of the assignment involved taking a list of various traits and writing down if we had them or not.
And one of the traits was dimples. And, according to our teacher, some people can have dimples that aren't visible unless they're making certain facial expressions.
“And large dimples!”
Cue a classroom full of students making bizarre faces into various reflective surfaces and/or their phone cameras, loudly asking “DO I HAVE DIMPLES??”
“Large…dimples…” Kira repeated.
Pumpetunia continued describing Twist.
“And the paint on her cheeks is chipped in a way that it looks like she has freckles!” Felipe translated.
So these living tools can have dimples just because, but instead of just having freckles they have to have “paint chipped in a way that it looks like [they] have freckles”? Writer, can we please have some consistency in the living tool logic?
“....Freckles…” Kira repeated. “And that should do it!”
She held up the paper to both of them. “Does this look like her.”
“Oh dang, where’d I put my question mark…”
“It’s perfect!” Felipe said.
Pumpetunia stroked the picture and sighed slightly. “La extraño.” [“I miss her.”]
“After breakfast we can head to the copyshop, and then hang the flyers around town.” Kira said, closing her sketchbook. “Sound good?”
“Sounds good to me!” Felipe said, before turning to Pumpetunia to ask her opinion.
"¡Eso suena genial!" [“That sound great!”] She agreed.
“She thinks it’s a great idea.” Felipe said.
“Great!” Lilly said. “Now let's order, I'm starving!
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 34
Here it is, readers.
The last chapter of “What Manny Can’t Fix” as it currently exists.
Honestly, I’m a bit worried about this one. Because, well… Felipe’s story doesn’t conclude. It just… ends. Cuts off. Abruptly, in a way that makes it clear that the author planned to write more but never bothered to.
And because of that… I’m not sure if I can bring this review to a satisfying conclusion. If I can make it feel finished.
This is only the third review I’ve ever written, and it’s the most ambitious by far.
Sometimes, writing this, I feel like I’ve gotten myself in too deep. As if I’ve overreached my skill level.
As if the writing in my review isn’t any better than the writing in what I’m mocking.
Am I just a hypocrite, trying to make myself feel superior?
Chapter 34
Trigger Warning For Next Few Chapters: Mentions of Abuse, Homophobia, and Depression
“Next Few Chapters”. Pah.
The next morning, the girl was up before Felipe and Pumpetuina were.
When Felipe awoke, he saw her sitting by the window with a sketchbook in her lap. He slipped out of Pumpetunia’s grip and hopped over to the girl.
“Good morning!” Felipe greeted, startling her, and making her almost drop her sketchbook, before looking over at him.
I would love to see the look on her face when Felipe jumpscared her.
Or have it be described better. That would work too.
“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Felipe apologized.
“No, no it’s okay…” The girl said, her voice quiet. “I just didn’t know anyone else was up…”
Felipe hopped onto the window sill and looked outside.
“Oh, the sunrise is beautiful!” Felipe said.
She nodded. “Every morning I get up early and draw the sunrise.” Then she turned the notebook towards Felipe to show her his work in progress drawing.
Did the author just pick “sunrises” off a list of “things with potential symbolic significance to include in your story”?
“That looks amazing!” Felipe said.
The girl’s cheeks flushed red. “Thank you….”
“Oh, I don’t think we were properly introduced yesterday. My name’s Felipe!”
“I’m Kira.”
Oh, so that’s your name.
“And that’s my friend Pumpetunia.” Felipe said, pointing his head towards the bed where she was still sleeping.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Kira said, grabbing a red colored pencil and continuing her drawing. “Sorry I really didn’t say hi yesterday….I’m just….kind of shy around new people.”
“No, no, it’s okay, I understand.” Felipe said.
The two of them sat there, while Kira kept working on her sunrise. “So….Why did you come here?” She paused for a moment and quickly added, “If you don’t wanna talk about it though, I understand.”
“We’re looking for my sister.” Felipe sighed.
Kira frowned and put her hand on his back, well as much as she could on a screwdriver.-
Now there’s a funny mental image.
- “What happened to her?”
“She ran away.” Felipe sniffled. “I….I don’t know why…or…or where she is.”
Kira paused for a second. “Do you…want a hug?”
PAHAHAHA!
“...That would be nice…”
Kira picked up Felipe and held him close to her chest, in a tight, firm, hug. He relaxed almost immediately in her arms, and ended up dozing off slightly.
YOU WERE JUST ASLEEP! YOU SHOULDN’T NEED TO NAP MORE!
He only woke up when he heard Kira coloring the picture in her sketchbook, where she was adding orange highlights around the sun.
“That looks nice….” He said.
“Thanks…” Kira said, her voice still low.
“So….Why are you here?” Felipe asked.
Kira froze, her pencil mid stroke. “I….” She set Felipe down, and stood up.
“I have a nebulously-defined tragic backstory that will be vaguely alluded to but never properly explained, so I can garner as much sympathy as possible from the audience.”
Kiara exhaled deeply before heading towards the door, and pausing for a moment.
“Kira?” Felipe asked, sounding worried.
She opened the door, walked into the hallway, and slammed the door shut.
The loud bang woke Pumpetunia up, and she looked around, puzzled. "¿Qué pasó?" [“What happened?”]
"No sé..." [“I don’t know”] Felipe said, his stomach starting to churn.-
Come on! How hard is it to say “the girl we’re with closed the door too hard when she left”?!
-Did I say something wrong.
Well, you did forget a question mark.
And that was Chapter 34. The last chapter of “What Manny Can’t Fix”. What a disappointing ending.
I’m sorry that I can’t bring this to a satisfying conclusion, but my annotation and accompaniment is just not powerful enough to turn this subdominant into a tonic.
Huh? What’s that you-?
Wait, what the-?!
THERE’S TEN MORE CHAPTERS OF THIS FANFIC ON ARCHIVEOFOUROWN?!
I can’t believe it!
Well, come back next time for the continuation of this review!
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction reivew#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 32 and 33
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.
Last time, Felipe and Pumpetunia set off to look for Twist, and after a day of fruitless searching ended up deciding to stay the night in a "Refugio". Now, three chapters from the end... much pointlessness and plunking ensues.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 32
I guess that, before I start this chapter, I should make something clear.
This fanfic as it currently exists ends before Felipe’s story is over. There is no satisfying (well, as satisfying as this mediocre author can muster) conclusion, no proper resolution. It just… cuts off, two chapters from now.
And, even though I know that the author obviously planned to write more and didn’t intend for this to be near the end, it still deeply enrages a part of me that we’re two chapters from the end…
Pumpetunia slowly opened her eyes to a blinding light. She could just barely make out a silhouette in the distance. “Twist?”
AND WE’RE STILL WASTING TIME WITH LOUSY DREAM SEQUENCES!
The silhouette giggled slightly and made their way over.
Also, “silhouette” with no qualifiers to say what it’s shaped like or what it might be a silhouette of could quite possibly be the most unspecific description ever conceived.
Pumpetunia’s eyes widened in joy as she saw her girlfriend come into view. Unable to contain her excitement, she ran over and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"Mi amor.” [“My love.”] Pumpetunia sighed happily, pulling her even closer. “Te extrañé.” [“I missed you.”]
“Yo también.” [“Me too.”] Twist said, kissing her cheek.
Pumpetunia told herself she’d never let go of her again. Twist wouldn’t run away again...never….
There was a bright flash out of the corner of her eye. When Pumpetunia looked over, she saw a window.
Wow, what brilliant symbolism! Twist ran away by jumping out of a window, so in this dream sequence Pumpetunia’s loss of Twist will be represented by Twist jumping out of a window! Genius!
Twist’s attention immediately turned towards it, her focus only on the window. Slowly, she pulled back from Pumpetunia, staring at it.
This is like if the Brave Little Toaster’s nightmare had just had the Young Master plop down a “FOR SALE” sign and then jump into a car and ride away.
“Twist…” Pumpetunia whimpered out, reaching out towards her again.
Twist took a step towards the window.
“No….” Pumpetunia said. “Twist!”
Twist however seemed almost hypnotized by the window. She kept making her way towards it, farther and farther away from her.
The light became brighter and brighter before it engulfed Twist….and she was gone...again….
“No!” Pumpetunia cried out. “No!”
Pumpetunia cried as she ran over to where Twist stood. The light faded, and only the window remained.
She pushed against it, trying to get through, but it refused to budge. Determined to get her girlfriend back, Pumpetunia pulled back and rammed into the window.
The glass shattered, and Pumpetunia laid on the ground, surrounded by the shards.
And then she woke up, and found that she’d fallen out of bed!
As she tried to get up, she groaned weakly. In the distance she could see Twist’s silhouette again.
Here’s a thought: What if Pumpetunia landed in one of the garbage cans we know are below the “real” window that this dream-window represents, and was then carted away in a garbage truck to a horrid junkyard, where gets stuck on a conveyor belt and wakes up just as the press of the car crusher is about to slam down on her?
It’s a first draft of an idea, sure, but it’s still better than what we actually got.
Pumpetunia tried to force herself up, but fell again. Slowly the silhouette got smaller and smaller, as Twist escaped in another flash of light.
Chapter 33
Felipe slowly opened his eyes. In front of him was Twist, standing in a pile of glass, her eyes empty.
ANOTHER DREAM SEQUENCE?!
"Twist!" He called in out, running towards her. "Twist!"
I have often gotten in trouble for calling “in out” in class.
The closer Felipe got the farther away she was.
Ah yes, dreams and their non-Euclidean ways.
"Twist!" He panted as he tried in vain to keep up with him.
As she faded from view, a new figure took her place…. Pumpetunia….
Wait.
She laid there in a pile of broken glass, crying out Twist's name quietly into the ground.
How the heck are you two having the same dream?!
"Pumpetunia…." Felipe said.
She looked up, her eyes teary and bloodshot.
Oh my god these tools have blood now.
Felipe grabbed her hose and pulled her up, hugging her close. "No te preocupes, la encontraremos." [“Don’t worry, we’ll find her.”]
She wrapped her hose around him and gave him a tight squeeze.
They had each other and they'd find her.
But where to start? Where could she be?
Well, thank you for that chapter and a half of nothing but pointless dream-recap of what’s happened so far.
Felipe woke up to Pumpetunia sitting on the edge of the bed.
He went over and sat beside her. "¿No puedes dormir?" [“Can’t sleep?”]
No, she just was asleep, you… ARRGH!
She shook her head and sighed. It was obvious she was thinking the same thing Felipe was.
Felipe leaned against her and let her wrap her hose around him.
On the other bed the girl was fast asleep.
Hey, are we going to get to actually learn the girl’s name before this story ends?
(In fact, as you can see in the final part of my review, we do.)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 30 and 31
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.
Last time, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, Iron Grip turned out to have really been Rusty all along. Today, Rusty's story having ended, we're picking up with the story of Felipe. Oh, and may I remind you that this fanfic as it currently exists is only 34 chapters long?
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 30
Wait, why is the part heading after the chapter heading? That makes no sense.
Part 3: Felipe
Also, as this new part is starting all of five chapters before the end of what currently exists for this fanfic, don’t expect the plot to be done by the time this review serial ends.
"¿Pumpetunia, Qué quieres decir con que se ha ido?" [“Pumpetunia, what do you mean she’s gone?”] A young, yellow screwdriver asked a bike pump.
Oh joy. Pumpetunia’s back.
Pumpetunia frowned and shook her head. "Ella acaba de irse, Felipe." [“She just left, Felipe”]
So Twist’s brother is Felipe. Gee, it’s not like that was obvious or anything.
Felipe sighed. I have to find her…..
This has some interesting implications for the timeline of this fanfic: Turner’s part happens when Manny is a child, Rusty’s happens while Manny’s is a teenager, and now Felipe’s part is starting on the day Twist left, which would put it an unspecified amount of time before Turner’s part.
He hopped onto the table below the window and started to push it open.
Let’s see… At minimum, Twist would have to have been in Teeth’s gang for at least a year, since in Turner’s part she mentions that they nearly froze the previous winter... and she would’ve probably been on the streets by herself for at least a little time before joining Teeth's gang, so… hmm…
Pumpetunia's eyes widened. "¿Adónde vas?" [“Where are you going?”]
Wait, I had a realization completely unrelated to this fanfic’s timeline.
Felipe sighed and looked her in the eyes.
When Pumpetunia appeared in Twist’s flashback, anything she (or Twist, for that matter) said in Spanish was preceded or immediately followed by a bit of narration explaining what had been said.
But now in Part 3 there’s just Spanish dialogue with no in-story translation.
"Para encontrar a mi hermana." [“To find my sister.”] He said, opening the window slightly more.
Which raises a bit of a question: If the author believes that the audience can and will happily just Google Translate all of the Spanish terms, why did they bother adding those redundant explanations?
The bike pump panicked slightly and wrapped her hose around the screwdriver, causing him to let out a small yelp.
Contrarialy, if they added the explanations because they didn’t think readers would enjoy having to Google Translate bits of dialogue, why are there now no explanations?
She pulled Felipe into a tight hug, holding him close, tears forming in her eyes.
And, since writing the dialogue in English but using a bit of formatting to indicate “hey, these characters are really speaking Spanish” is an option the author explicitly stated that they would use in the story, why not just do that?
"No…" Pumpetunia whimpered out. "No, tu también." [“Not you, too…”]
Felipe frowned and wiped the tears from her eyes. Está bien…." [Alright…“]
“¿Y has visto mis otras comillas?” [“And have you seen my other quotation mark?”]
As he comforted her, his eyes wandered back to the half open window.
Twist….. I have to find her …
Felipe gave Pumpetunia a gentle nuzzled before pulling back from her.
Ah yes, a gentle nuzzled.
He hopped back onto the table and explained he needed to find his sister, that he'd bring her back for the both of them.
Felipe pushed on the window more. Before he could open it all the way, Pumpetunia grabbed him again.
Felipe looked at her, noticing how serious she looked.
"Voy contigo." [“I’m with you.”] She said, pulling herself into the table too.
She wants to come with? Felipe hesitated. He wasn't sure if it would be safe out there and didn't want to risk putting a friend in danger.
Is shortening “come with me” to “come with” a regional expression of wherever the author is from, or is it just some more bad grammar?
….But she is Twist's girlfriend….. She's probably just as worried about her as I am….
Felipe sighed in defeat and forced a small smile. He nodded slightly before pushing the window open all the way.
He and Pumpetunia hopped onto the window sill and looked down.
That's quite a jump…. Felipe gulped.
Noticing his anxiety, Pumpetunia wrapped her hose around him, and gently placed him on the ground.
Just how long is her hose?
"Gracias!" Felipe called up to her.
"De nada." [“You’re welcome”] She gripped the lid of a nearby garbage can and made her way down.
The two of them hurried off, in search of Twist.
Chapter 31
Felipe and Pumpetunia made their way through the streets, calling out her name.
"Twist! Twist! Dónde estás!?" [“Twist! Twist! Where are you!?”]
Felipe sighed, leaning against a trashcan.
Pumpetunia joined him and gently wrapped her hose around him. "¿Estás bien?" [“Are you okay?”]
Felipe shook his head. "No….."
Pumpetunia frowned and tried her best to comfort Felipe, reassuring him they'd find Twist.
And the author said, implicitly, “I’m too lazy to Google Translate up some Spanish, and I’m even too lazy to use the formatting I established would mean ‘these characters are really speaking Spanish even though this text is English’.”
He pulled back and took a step forward, exhaling deeply.
Twist was out there somewhere, and he and Pumpetunia were determined to find her no matter what.
It's just that knowing where to start was the hardest part.
Right now, it was just two tools running down the sidewalk, calling out her name in vain.
Felipe forced any doubt of finding her out of his mind, and just kept going.
Besides it wasn't so bad when he had company. He glanced back at Pumpetunia.
Besides, comma, it wasn’t so bad when he had company.
What would I do without her?
Gee, I can’t wait for that question to inevitably be answered!
Felipe yawned, exhausted from a day of searching. Soon they'd have to find a place to rest for the night.
"¿Que tal aquí?" [“How about here?”] Pumpetunia asked, stopping in front of a building.
Wait, did he say that soon they’d have to find a rest for the night? No? Well, I guess Pumpetunia just read his mind then.
Felipe looked at the sign on the front: Refugio [“Refuge”, a rather unsurprising translation]
A shelter? That sounds promising. Maybe Twist could be here too!
Yes, Twist will definitely be in the first place you look that isn’t just “the streets”. Especially since we’re only two chapters into Felipe’s part and one chapter into the actual search.
The thought made Felipe excited and he nearly ran inside, Pumpetunia trailing behind.
Felipe looked around and saw a front desk. He and Pumpetunia made there way over.
THEIR!
The receptionist looked up from her papers and blinked when she saw two tools standing in front of her.
"¿Puedo ayudarte?" [“I can help?”] She asked, slightly awkwardly.
She’s probably supposed to be saying “Can I help you?”, but Google Translate is, naturally, being phutzy about it.
"Sí." Pumpetunia said. "Nosotras necesitamos una habitación." [“We need a room.”]
The woman looked through the papers, looking for an empty room. While all of them were occupied, there was still a room with additional space.
The receptionist lead them to a room and knocked on the door
Slowly the door creeked open and a teenage girl anxiously peered out.
Ah yes, a door that creeks like a river.
(Sorry, that was bad.)
"Y...yes?" The girl squeaked out.
"You've got roommates now." The receptionist said.
Nothing good can ever follow the line “You’ve got roomates now.”
The girl looked down and gave the tools a small wave. "H...hello…"
"Hello! I'm Felipe and this is my friend Pumpetunia!"
"Hola!" Pumpetunia said, waving her hose in greeting.
"Are you fine with them staying here?" The receptionist asked.
The girl nodded slightly, opening the door a bit more to let them in.
Felipe and Pumpetunia entered the small room and looked around.
There were two beds in the room and it was pretty spacious.
Felipe and Pumpetunia made their way to the unoccupied bed.
The girl sat on her bed and opened up a sketchbook and began drawing.
"Esto es bueno." [“This is good”] Felipe said, snuggling into the blankets. "Y cómodo." [“And comfortable”]
Pumpetunia smiled a bit and joined him under the blanket.
As exhausted as Felipe was, she quickly fell asleep.
So how does Felipe’s exhaustion make Pumpetunia fall asleep quicker- oh, you mean “She was as exhausted as Felipe was, so she quickly fell asleep.”
Write unambiguously, author!
(My review of the next two chapters has now been posted!)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 28 and 29
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.
Last time, we saw Carrie discover that Iron Grip was missing on the day of their wedding, and Iron Grip escape from the Pet Store Of Doom. Now today,- I can't believe I'm writing this this soon- we'll be wrapping up Part 2 of "What Manny Can't Fix".
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 28
Iron Grip slowly opened his eyes to a teenager with a blue screwdriver sitting on his shoulder.
So Manny is a teenager now? Interesting time skip.
"I uh...I...I'm…."
".... You're rusty." The screwdriver finished.
"Turner!" The teenager scolded
"What, he is!"
“I don’t care! One more outburst like that and you’re banned from Pet Parrot Position!”
Iron Grip shivered anxiously. "I...I just….I...I don't…."
The teenager knelt down and gently stroked Iron Grip's cheek. "Hey, it's okay….Are you alone?"
Too anxious to speak, he just nodded.
"You can stay with us if you want." He replied, softly.
Once again, he’s inviting some random stranger to come live in his house. I’m sure //checks notes, and sees at this point in the story’s timeline Manny would probably be living with Abuelito// his grandpa would be thrilled.
Iron Grip's eyes lit up. "R-really?"
"Of course." He said, picking him up.
Iron Grip felt a feeling of warmth fill his body. It was like a calming presence fell over him.
The power of a Canon Purity Sue!
When he looked over at Turner, the mood completely shifted. He could sense a cold, untrusting, feeling coming from him.
The screwdriver leaned closer to the teenager, eyeing Iron Grip with narrowed eyes.
Finally Turner spoke again, "He's still rusted."
"Turner…." He warned again before looking back at the monkey wrench. "I can get you cleaned up when we get home."
"H...home?" Iron Grip squeaked out.
"Yeah, home. You know, the place you live?" Turner replied.
Iron Grip avoided eye contact and looked at the sidewalk.
The teenager stroked Iron Grip's head in comfort. "Don't mind Turner, he….he's just a little grumpy, sometimes."
Turner glared a bit, but decided not to say anything.
"I'm Manny. What's your name?"
Iron Grip looked up to make eye contact with Manny, but instead he met Turner's cold glare.
All he could focus on was what Turner had said to him.
" You're rusty."
"......Rusty….." He said, dryly.
Ooookay. It’s not like this random, out-of-nowhere name change would be roughly equivalent to a human character renaming themselves Eczema or something!
"Rusty?" Manny asked.
"What an appropriate name." Turner muttered under his breath.
The Monkey Wrench cringed slightly before looking At Manny again. After a moment of thought, he nodded slightly. "Y..yeah...Rusty…"
Random capital letters and a double space? Wow, writer, you’ve outdone yourself!
As Manny headed back to the house, Rusty calmed down in his gentle grip.
When they got inside, Manny grabbed a bucket of soapy water and a rag. He placed Rusty into the bucket and started scrubbing him.
Ah yes. He got all rusted by getting wet, so clearly the way to remove the rust is with more water! Gee, I didn’t know rust in the Handy Manny universe followed “TV amnesia” logic.
Although the rag was old and rugged, Rusty could only feel calm. As the rust was scrubbed off, he relaxed into the tub of water.
I’m not sure what’s worse- that the author tried tautologically to describe a rag as “ragged”, or that they then misspelled “ragged” as “rugged”.
It was almost like the past was being scraped away. For a moment he wasn't thinking about Carrie, Wisp or the garage. His mind was only focused on the warm water swirling around him.
Manny pulled him out of the water and dried him off. Rusty snuggled into the towel, feeling warm and safe.
"There we go." Manny said, placing him in front of a handheld mirror. "Well, what do you think?"
Rusty clenched his eyes shut, afraid to look at himself. I can't look...I'm hideous! I know I'm going to look ugly! I...I can't do this…...I...I…
"Well, are you going to open your eyes or not?" Turner asked.
….No...I...I have to do this...I need to...move on ..
Slowly, Rusty opened his eyes and faced the mirror. To his surprise, he wasn't covered in rust anymore.
Wow, how shocking. Manny cleaned the rust off him, and now he’s not rusty anymore. What a plot twist.
However, instead of his silver finish, he was now stained a bright orange.
I don’t actually know this conclusively, but the instincts imbued in me by my chemist father are screaming “BS”.
Hey….I don't look that bad….
He looked over at Manny and smiled softly, his eyes filling with tears. "Thanks Manny."
"No problem." He said with a small smile, picking him up. "Welcome home, Rusty."
You’d think that, with Rusty now having his “home” with Manny, Part 2 would be over.
Unfortunately, you would be wrong.
Chapter 29
Carrie hadn't left the toolbox since the day she was left at the altar.
I’m pleasantly surprised that the author bothered to follow up on this loose end, although unfortunately all this part actually does is make Rusty seem even more like a heartless jerk than he already does.
She laid there, her veil still on her head, breath unsteady.
Worried, Shock checked on her often.
"Hey, Carrie….How are you feeling?" She asked softly.
Gee, it’s not like the answer is so blatantly obvious that that question shouldn’t even need asking…
Carrie glanced at her before looking back at the bottom of the box again.
"Do you need some company?" She asked. "Or do you want to be alone?"
Carrie reached out and held onto her, signaling she wanted her to stay.
Reached out with… what? Toolikinesis?
Shock snuggled against her side and sat there with her. "I'm here...I'm here for you...it's okay….it's okay…."
Carrie lifted her head and looked at her with tear stained eyes, a small smile managing to form on her face.
"The...thank you…" She choked out, her voice was hoarse and low.
That’s technically accurate to the phonetics of someone stuttering “Th-thank you”, but somehow it still seems… wrong.
"Of course." Shock said, pulling her closer. "I'll always be here for you."
Unlike Iron Grip…. Carrie thought, laying closer.
"Anne wants to know if you want to work today or not." Shock said
Carrie sniffled and shook her head.
"It's okay…" Shock said. "She said you can take your time…."
Carrie laid down again, disassociating. Her whole world was a blur, there's no way she could work like this.
Carrie closed her eyes again and leaned against Shock, falling into another long nap.
At that moment, the radio of Anne’s latest repair job -some kind of bizarre limo with horns as a hood ornament and a paint job that straddled the line between yellow and beige- unexpectedly burst to life and began to play, at a volume that made Carrie jolt upright and Shock jump several inches into the air, a strange rock song which neither of them- nor Anne, nor Wisp- had ever heard before.
“Once took a Texan to a wedding
Once took a Texan to a wedding
But he kept forgetting
His loneliness letting
His thoughts turn to home and we turned.
I took a man to-”
Then the radio powered off, as abruptly as it had switched on.
(Man, I’ve been wanting to do that joke for as long as I’ve known that Part 2 had a runaway groom plot.)
(Oh, and my review of the beginning of Part 3 has now been posted!)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 26 and 27
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.
Last time, Iron Grip ran away from Anne's garage and ended up staying the night in a pet shop in San Diego. Today, Iron Grip sets off again- but we're going to check up on what Carrie's doing first.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 26
That morning Carrie was ecstatic.
Not for long!
Her heart was a flutter as she headed over to her maid of honor to prepare for the wedding.
What heart?
Also, as counterintuitive as it might seem, “aflutter” is actually one word.
"You're...look….. stunning!" A multimeter said, positioning a torn trash bag over Carrie's head as a makeshift veil.
If it was established in the Chapter 18 that there’s some company somewhere in this story’s universe that makes tool-sized earmuffs, why isn’t there some company somewhere that makes tool-sized wedding veils?
"Thanks Shock….." She said, a small blush forming on her cheeks as she gently adjusted the veil.
Oh hello new character! I’d just like to ask you a few questions about where you were when Wisp and Iron Grip had that big fight…
Shock giggled a bit, looking at Carrie from every angle to make sure she looked perfect.
"Am I ready?" Carrie asked.
"I don't think I can't answer that." Shock giggled again. "I'm a voltage reader not a mind reader!"
Ha. Ha.
Carrie laughed a bit. "No, I mean do I look good?"
"You always look good." Shock said, adjusting the veil again.
Carrie shuddered a bit against her touch, feeling a bit disappointed when she finally pulled back.
"But now, you're perfect for a wedding!"
"Thanks for helping me get ready." Carrie said.
"Of course!" Shock said. "This is one of the most important days of your life! I want to make sure it's perfect!"
"It will be." Carrie sighed happily. "Iron Grip is just so sweet, and kind, and gentle."
She felt her heart swell with emotion as she gushed about her fiance.
"Good morning!' Anne greeted, holding a small bouquet of flowers. "Are you excited?'
Carrie nodded. "Yeah….but...I...I'm a little nervous too…"
"That's okay." She said, stroking her side in comfort. "Being nervous is normal….but it's going to be great!"
"Thank you…." Carrie said with a small smile.
"Well, everything's set up." Anne said. "Are you ready?"
Carrie exhaled slightly. "Ready…."
Anne carried Shock and Carrie over to the work bench where the wedding was set up.
Since in this story’s world human society knows about the living tools, shouldn’t Carrie and IG be able to have a more “official” wedding?
Or do tools just prefer their weddings done in… “DIY style”?
She set them both down.
Sorry, that joke was bad.
Carrie looked around. "Where's Iron Grip?"
Anne frowned and looked around. "I don't know...I'll go look for him…."
Anne walked off, leaving Carrie with Shock.
"Where could he be?" Carrie asked, mainly to herself.
"Did you ever consider the possibility that you have a run away groom on your hands?" Wisp spoke up from the other workbench.
In that context, “runaway” should be one word.
"What are you doing here?" Carrie asked. "You weren't invited to this wedding."
Um, you’re having the wedding in the garage. Where he lives.
"Hey, I'm just saying." Wisp said. "It's possible he abandoned you."
"Iron Grip would never do that!" Carrie argued. "He loves me!"
"Mhm, and that's why he left you at the altar?" He asked.
"He didn't! He's just running late!"
"You have some nerve, coming to Carrie's wedding and pulling this crap!" Shock yelled. "Just leave!"
Yeah! Get out of here, you worse version of Iago!
Wisp smirked slightly. "All right ladies, I'll go. But, you should really think about what I said…" Then he hopped off.
Tears swelled up in Carrie's eyes, as she leaned against Shock.
Unnecessary comma! Woohoo!
Shock pulled her closer and comforted her. "Don't listen to him. Iron Grip wouldn't leave you like that." She wiped a stray tear away from Carrie's cheek.
Wow, another character who’s unrealistically pure, compassionate, kind, and always somehow does the best thing possible in any given circumstance. Plunker, I think you have some competition!
She sniffled and leaned closer to her. When Anne came back, she quickly tried to compose herself.
Carrie quickly noticed she was empty handed.
"Where's Iron Grip?"
Anne frowned and shook her head. "I…. don't know…."
Tears rolled down Carrie's cheek as she started to cry again.
Anne picked her up and hugged her close.
"I...I can't believe he just left me like this?" Carrie sobbed into her.
"No, no, Iron Grip wouldn't leave you…." Anne frowned. "Maybe…. maybe I just didn't look hard enough….He could still be around the garage.'
Yeah, right.
"You really think so?" Carrie sniffled.
"We can look around for him if you want." She offered.
"Thank you." Carried sniffled.
Anne, Carrie, and Shock went around the garage, looking all over for Iron Grip.
Wisp watched from atop a shelf, beaming with pride as he watched them scurry around. Like mice in a maze...it's kind of sad,really.
No, your punctuation is what’s pretty sad here.
Defeated, Carrie leaned against an old toolbox and sighed deeply.
Shock joined her shortly after, sitting beside her.
"He's not here…" Carrie sniffled. "He's gone…."
"Carrie…."
"He's gone!" She sobbed.
"My, my, I've heard of a blushing bride before, but never a sobbing bride." Wisp let out a dry chuckle.
Is he still on the shelf, or did he hop down to their level? Describe, writer, describe!
"Back off!" Shock warned. "Why can't you just leave her alone!?"
"I just came to check on how the ceremony was going."
"Well, no one asked you to!" Shock said, getting angrier. "Now go!"
"I just wanted to see if Iron Grip had shown up."
"Go!" She snapped again.
Wisp shrugged it off and turned away. "Suit yourself…"
How. Does he shrug. Without shoulders?!
Shock pulled Carrie closer and let her cry into her. "It's going to be okay...I'm here...I'm here…"
Carrie closed her eyes and slowly fell asleep.
Aaaand CHAPTER!
Chapter 27
Iron Grip woke up to the sound of the door creaking open.
Dun dun DUNN!
Panicked, he hid under the butterfly towel, shivering in fear.
"Good morning everyone!" A woman's voice greeted, cheerfully. Iron Grip could hear her opening the blinds and could see the light filter in.
I've gotta get out of here before I get caught…..
Something tells me that this pet story is a location in canonical Handy Manny and the author only had Rusty visit it so they could pat themselves on the back for their “clever in-joke”.
Slowly, Iron Grip peeked out from under the towel, waiting for the pet store owner to leave so he could escape.
The woman was busy checking on the animals, refilling their food and water.
Anxiously, Iron Grip waited to make his escape. It was when she made her way over to the rabbit cage, he panicked.
Pulling back under the blanket, Iron Grip tried hard not to shake, afraid she'd hear rattling metal and find him.
Hey, remember that “Mater And The Ghostlight” short from Cars, where through the story of a ghostly monster angered by the sound of clanking metal some writer at Pixar who thought he was being funny managed to stealthily canonize car, um, “manufacturing”?
He could see her shoes just inches away from him. Panic flooded through Iron Grip's body as he clamped his jaw shut to avoid any whimpers escaping his mouth.
Wait, why did I just think of Plunker?
Eh, I’m sure it’s nothing.
After what felt like hours, the woman spoke again. "Oh shoot, I'm out of rabbit food...I guess I'll have to check the back for more…."
Once Iron Grip heard the storage room's door open, he quickly got out from under the towel and rushed to the door.
He gripped the door in his jaw and flung it open, cringing when the bell above the door rang. Now even more scared of being caught, Iron Grip rushed outside and ran.
He didn't look back until he was sure he was out of sight of the pet shop.
Breathing heavily, Iron Grip leaned against the wall of a nearby building and dozed off.
You know what that means.
A flashback dream sequence! Oh joy!
"Great job on that repair, team!" Anne said. She looked at Iron Grip and Carrie. "Especially you two."
Ah, yes, “that repair”. Looks like every single fix in this fic is going to be ill-defined since the author doesn’t know anything about repairing stuff and can’t be bothered to do any research.
"We really are a good team. " Carrie said, nuzzling against Iron Grip. "Aren't we?"
"Y-yeah we….we sure are…" Iron Grip said, a deep blush forming on his cheeks.
Wisp rolled his eyes slightly. "It was more than just you two, you know."
"They know that." Anne said, picking him up. "We're all a team."
"Right...right…." Wisp grumbled under his breath. "...A team …"
"Well teammate, what do you wanna do now?" Carrie asked.
Iron Grip shivered slightly. "How about we uh...we...snuggle in the toolbox?"
"Sounds good to me, teammate." She said, giving him another quick kiss on the cheek before heading over.
That was short, which I should like, but some strange part of me misses the long, drawn-out chapters and all the wasted time.
"Hey are you okay?"
In all my years of existence, I can safely say that I’ve never before seen someone asking if someone else is okay being used as a shocking, chapter-ending dramatic moment.
(The next part of my review has now been posted!)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 24 and 25
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.
Last time, Iron Grip fell for a Wisp trick that he really ought to have seen through and ended up rusting in a rainstorm. Unable to bear having to reveal his ruined appearance to Carrie, Iron Grip ran away- on the day the two were supposed to have their wedding. (Wow, what a soap opera-esque plot.) Today, we find out where the runaway groom decides to go.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 24
Iron Grip didn't look back as he made his way away from the garage. Once he was a few blocks away, he stopped to catch his breath.
Leaning against a trashcan he let out a few heavy breaths before tears started rolling down his cheek.
So are the tears going to make him rust more, or…?
He slumped down against the can and started crying. What am I even doing? Ugh, I'm so stupid! I have nowhere to go and I'm a mess! And….and...Carrie….
Iron Grip sighed deeply. Poor Carrie….I just left her! Oooh, she's gonna hate me!
Looking to his side, he caught a glimpse of himself in a puddle, all covered in rush.-
Insert joke about Rush the band here.
- Oh, who am I kidding? I can't face her again….not like this….and not after...after….. ditching the wedding….
Iron Grip shivered a bit as realization of his situation sunk in….He was all alone now.
Forcing himself up, Iron Grip continued down the sidewalk, looking for a place to take temporary refuge.
After walking for what felt like forever, Iron Grip saw a large sign: Welcome To Sheetrock Hills!
Sandiegorock Hills, you mean.
Sheetrock Hills, huh? Cautiously he approached the sign and paused. He looked back for a moment. I guess I don't have anywhere else to go.
Iron Grip sighed as he made his way into town.
Oh my god that chapter was short.
Chapter 25
The sun was almost set when Iron Grip made his way into town.
Geez, how much distance is there between the sign and the actual town limits?!
Desperately, he looked for a place to take shelter for the night. A pet store caught his eye as he made his way over.
Try a trash can. Hey, it worked for Turner.
He leaned against the door and winced as it opened with a small creaking sound. Iron Grip paused for a moment, making sure no one would run in.
When he was sure the coast was clear, Iron Grip hopped in. Although dark, he could see shillouttes of the animals in their cages.
And the animals were immediately awakened by his intrusion and started howling, meowing, barking, squawking, and yammering to high heaven.
Also, “shillouttes”. A+ spelling there, author.
Iron Grip inhaled and exhaled deeply and entered the store. He went to the corner of the store, under the rabbit cages. Snuggling into an old rag decorated with butterflies, he tried to make himself comfortable enough to sleep.
Sleep didn't come. Iron Grip laid there, listening to the atmosphere of the pet shop. There was birds squawking and flapping their feathers.
The fish splashed around and the hamsters scurried around restlessly.
Geez, can anything sleep in this pet store?
Up above him, the rabbits hopped around their cage. Curious, Iron Grip peeked out to look at the bunnies.
They were snuggled together sleeping,-
Oh. Earlier snarky comment retracted.
- except for two in the corner of the cage. The dark gray and bright orange rabbits were grooming each other.
PAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
There are few things in life funnier than blatant, ham-handed attempts at symbolism.
Iron Grip sniffled, thinking back to Carrie.
Aaaand here comes a flashback.
Iron Grip and Carrie were snuggled under an old rag, looking at the stars through the old, dusty window.
You’re in San Diego. The sky should only contain about five stars, tops.
"Oh look at that one!" Carrie giggled pointing out a bright star. "It's pretty isn't it!?"
Iron Grip nodded. "Yeah ..it's so...bright…"
"Gee you've got such a way with words." Carrie teased, nuzzling under his chin.
Iron Grip laughed a bit and kissed the top of her head. "Well….I...I mean it is…"
Carrie gave him another kiss on the cheek before heading over to the window again. "It is pretty bright though….." She squinted. ".....and fast?"
"Fast?" Iron Grip joined her by the window and watched as the star they were watching zipped through the sky. "Stars don't move? ….. Do they?"
A laugh escaped Carrie's throat as she leaned against him. "Honey, I think it's a helicopter."
If it were a helicopter, it would be loud as frick. You saw either a plane or the International Space Station.
"Oh." Iron Grip paused before letting out a small laugh of his own. "I guess it is."
Iron Grip felt a dry laugh force it's way out as he remembered. When he looked back at the two rabbits grooming each other, tears rushed out of his eyes.
Ah yes, a dry laugh that forces “it is” way out. I hate when that happens to me.
He forced his face into the butterfly towel and sobbed into it. "Carrie...Carrie…."
I can't believe I just left her...I...I abandoned her! He screamed into the towel and cried loudly until he couldn't anymore. Slowly, his throat sore and his cries now hoarse he drifted off to sleep.
What throat? Seriously, author, you had to pick the one tool whose mouth doesn’t connect to some food-destroying pocket dimension or anywhere to give a sore throat.
(The next part of my review has now been posted.)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#what manny can't fix review#handy manny
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 22 and 23
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.
Last time, in a plot development so ridiculous I actually burst out laughing when I read it, Iron Grip proposed to Carrie. Today, we watch as the unthreateningly-named villain Wisp puts into motion his plan to ruin their wedding.
Oh boy this is going to be fun!
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 22
Iron Grip anxiously paced around the garage the night before his wedding.-
Skipping right to wedding night? Are you sure you don’t want to spend a few chapters plunking around with the preparations first?
- Outside thunder boomed as gray storm clouds formed in the sky.
Don’t you just hate it when the weather decides to reflect your emotional state?
What if I mess up my vows? What if I trip going down the aisle?
He gasped aloud. WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY ME!? Am I even good enough for her? Ugh….Will I be a good husband?
His breathing got heavier as he kept going back and forth on the workbench.
Nearby Wisp was watching him. Looks like someone is getting cold feet...Maybe I can help calm his nerves…
Dun dun DUNNN!
He grinned as he made his way over to the anxious monkey wrench. "Still awake, Iron Grip?"
Iron Grip was startled as he turned around. "W...Wisp?....Wh...what are you doing here?"
"I live here." He said, puzzled.
Line of the century, ladies and gentlemen.
"No I...I mean...here...on the table...with me?" Iron Grip shakily tried to explain.
"Well, I was hoping you were still up." Wisp said. "Because you haven't had your bachelor party yet!"
Oh wow, a bachelor party! No Handy Manny fanfic could possibly feel complete without one of those!
They should invite a couple of local fratbros. I see no way that could go wrong.
"Bachelor party? Oh, no no, I don't need one of those!" Iron Grip protested anxiously.
“Oh, of course you do!” Wisp said. “Bachelor parties are a tradition! You need to have one!”
Iron Grip frowned, still a bit uneasy. “I...I...I guess...but...why do you want to throw me one? We’re...we’re always fighting and all…”
“All water under the bridge.” Wisp said. “I want us to move on for this and...start fresh.”
Iron Grip managed a small smile. “Oh...okay….thank you Wisp…”
DON’T TRUST HIM, YOU IDIOT!
“Come on, I’ve got everything set up outside.” Wisp said, hopping off the work bench.
“Out...outside?” Iron Grip gulped. “But...but it’s going to rain…”
“Oh, don’t worry about that!” Wisp said. “We’ll be out of the rain, we just need some more space.”
Iron Grip seemed unsure, but he sighed. “O...okay…” Hesitantly he leapt off the workbench and followed Wisp.
Wisp slowly pushed the door open, and led him outside. They were greeted by a cold wind, spraying stray raindrops onto them.
Wait, I thought you said it was going to rain, not that it was already raining.
Iron Grip shivered. “It’s...it’s kinda...c...cold out here…”
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad.” Wisp reassured him. He paused for a moment. “Oh! I forgot something inside! Wait here.”
Wisp went back inside the garage...and pushed a large cardboard box against the door.
Ah yes, cardboard. A very sturdy material for a barricade.
Sarcasm aside, I know the box is probably supposed to have heavy material in it, but shouldn’t the author maybe establish that instead of leaving us to infer it?
Iron Grip’s eyes widened before he ran over to the door. “Wisp! Wisp! Wisp, wh...what are you doing!?”
Wisp looked at Iron Grip from the other side of the door, smirking.
So the door has a window? DESCRIBE YOUR SETTING, AUTHOR!
Iron Grip breathed heavily and the rain started to fall down even harder. “Wisp!”
Thunder roared loudly and Iron Grip whimpered, hiding behind a garbage can as the wind whipped harshly.
I can’t believe Wisp would do that!
He thought for a moment.
Okay….I guess I can actually…
Late to the realization much?
The rain started pooling on the roof and pouring down. Iron Grip yelped as he got splashed by a huge puddle of water.
I just thought of a summer camp I went to as a kid where it thunderstormed every Friday afternoon like clockwork. I think going there has permanently improved my ability as a writer to describe thunderstorms- how the rain pours so hard it stings the skin and rattles the roofs above our heads, how lightning sometimes isn’t a single flash but a series of flickering flashes in strobe, how thunder is not a snap or a crack but a deep, resonant roar that lasts for several seconds, how the torrent of rain strikes the layer of water that has accumulated on the ground with such force that it sends up a spray so that I could sit by one of the lunchroom’s screen windows, close my eyes, and imagine myself at the seaside…
He tried to shake himself off and pressed his back against the garage. I gotta find a way back in!
Sorry for rambling. I guess what I’m trying to say is that someone should put more effort into creating vivid imagery.
Iron Grip quickly hopped to the back of the garage and gripped the door handle in his jaw. It’s locked! Anne is always careful with locking up the garage….
The thunder boomed even louder and Iron Grip whimpered as he hid behind the trashcan again.
It’s okay Iron Grip it’s okay...breathe...just breathe….Anne will notice you’re missing and go looking for you….Yeah...yeah...then she’ll come and get you! You just...have to wait out the storm….
Try banging on the door! Or the walls! Or the windows that might or might not exist! Make an effort to wake up the people inside and alert them to your predicament! Don’t just- AAAARGH!
With water still dripping on him, Iron Grip’s eyes slowly shut and he fell asleep.
Chapter 23
The sun beamed down on Iron Grip as he slowly opened his eyes. He let out a small groan as he stood up.
Ugh...What happened last night?-
A sentiment heard after many a bachelor party.
-Iron Grip looked around and saw the ground was soaked with rain puddles.
As he stretched out his back, he heard a gritting sound, like sand being shifted. Confused, Iron Grip looked at his reflection in a nearby puddle.
To his horror, he was covered in a layer of rust.
“N...no…” He whimpered. “I’m all….all…”
“Rusty?” A voice finished for him.
Oh hello, Worse Version Of Iago.
Iron Grip jumped and turned around to see Wisp standing in the doorway of the garage. He smirked as he went over.
I’m serious. My ELA class is going over Othello right now, and Wisp is literally just Iago if Shakespeare had forgotten that the reason why Iago’s manipulations work- he maintains a false reputation of helpfulness and trustworthiness, so the people in his life believe he has their best interests at heart and thus have no reason not to follow his advice.
“How’s the groom doing this morning?” Wisp asked.
Rusty agreeing to go outside in the rain because of Wisp’s promised “bachelor party” makes about as much sense as if Cassio knew that Iago envied his position and hated his guts and still took his suggestion to drink a bit at the party anyway.
“Groom? Oh no! The...the wedding!” Iron Grip gasped. “I...I have to get ready!”
Sorry, that was a bit long-winded.
“Whoa, whoa.” Wisp said. “You’re gonna go in there….like that? All... rusty ?”
Iron Grip hesitantly looked at himself in the puddle again, seeing the orange rust still formed on him.
Heeey, wasn’t the “monkey wrench” in Handy Manny proper orange?
“Your bride won’t even be able to look at you without being disgusted.” Wisp said.
“W..what? No! Carrie loves me, for me!” Iron Grip snapped.
“But you look nothing like the shiny, silver tool she fell in love with.” Wisp said. “You’re just going to embarrass yourself if you go in there like this.”
“W...what do I do then?” Iron Grip whimpered.
Wisp exhaled in thought. “Well….it would probably be best if you left.”
“Leave?” Iron Grip whined. “But...but this is my home...and I...I…I won’t…”
“....won’t be of any use all rusted like this.” Wisp said. “If you go back in, Anne will throw you in the scrap metal bin for sure when she sees you.”
Iron Grip’s eyes widened. “N...no...no….Anne wouldn’t do that….She’s my friend...I...I…”
“Are you willing to take that chance?” Wisp asked.
Iron Grip froze.
This is actually a better-executed manipulation, as Wisp is playing on Rus- I mean, Iron Grip’s anxiety and fear of taking risks.
It’s still not a very good manipulation, but it’s better.
“Or would you rather run off and know you’ll be spared from becoming scrap metal?”
Iron Grip hesitated for a moment.
Then slowly he backed away from the garage and bolted down the sidewalk.
Ah yes, slowly bolting down the sidewalk. That makes sense.
(You can find out where Iron Grip's slothlike bolting took him in the next part of my review.)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 20 and 21
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- well, if I'm reviewing it, you know it's got to be bad.
Last time, we kicked off Part 2 with a bang, a poorly-named villain, and the promise of a fight scene. Today, we discover... that the fight scene doesn't actually happen. Boo.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 20
Wisp was looming over Carrie. “You’re making us look bad!”
“Wisp! Stop it!” Carrie whined, however he didn’t seem like was going to back down this time.
The part starting with “however” should be A. a separate sentence, B. completely rewritten.
“No!” He spat.
Well, if the tools can spit it means that matter does in fact have a chance of returning from the eldritch void their mouths link to, so that’s good news for the universe of Handy Manny.
“Wisp!” Anne warned. “That’s enough!”
She tried to grab him, but Wisp sprayed a blast of air in Anne’s face causing her to stumble back.
Why does Anne keep Wisp around? She could easily “fire” him and just get an inanimate pneumatic wrench, and it would save a lot of trouble.
“She’s an embarrassment to battery carriers everywhere!” Wisp said. “I’m sick of her foolishness!”
Or maybe Anne is too afraid of what Wisp would do if he found out he was fired… yeah, that seems to be the likely answer.
Iron Grip slowly made his way onto the workshop table. While Anne was trying to compose herself, Wisp kept his sights on Carrie.
“You pathetic little piece of scrap metal!” He hissed. “You don’t belong in this garage, you-”
“H...hey! Leave her alone!” Iron Grip managed to spit out.
Wisp turned around slowly, looking slightly surprised, until a grin of malice spread across his face.
“Oh? The Monkey Wrench is actually deciding to step up for once?” He asked, getting closer.
Why is “Monkey Wrench” capitalized?
Iron Grip started shaking, and was scared he’d lose his balance.
“Isn’t this great?” Wisp laughed. “Little Iron Grip wants to fight me.”
“F...fight!?” Iron Grip whimpered out.
“Yeah. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Wisp asked.
“N...no!” Iron Grip gulped, trying to find his braveness again. “I want you to leave Carrie alone!”
“And how are you planning on doing that?”
“Well I uh...uh…”
“Wisp!” Anne grabbed him in her hand.
Yeah, that bunch of yelling and Wisp hitting Anne with a blast of not-very-strong wind was the entire extent of this chapter’s “fight scene”. How disappointing.
“By distracting you until Anne was better!” Carrie chimed in.
“Better”? Seriously?!
At worst, being blasted by air from a pneumatic tool would be like being hit by a big gust of wind. It shouldn’t be an attack strong enough that someone would be stunned for several lines of dialogue before recovering.
How do I know? Well, in the Wood Shop class I took last year, we had an air compressor with a hose attached. It got used for its intended purpose, powering a nail gun, all of once, but the rest of the year kids treated it like a toy and blasted themselves with it for fun or to blow sawdust off themselves.
Anne glared at Wisp slightly. “You’re in big trouble…”
Wisp twisted in Anne’s hand, trying in vain to get free. He looked over at Iron Grip and sneered slightly. “I’ll get you for this, Monkey Wrench….”
Wow, only 27 lines of text (not counting spaces and my insertions)? That’s got to be a new record for the shortest chapter in this fic.
Chapter 21
A silence fell over the garage and Iron Grip could taste the staleness of the air.
Hey Anne, I think your ventilation system’s broken down!
Anne had left the room with Wisp, so now it was him, Carrie, and a few other tools just sitting on the counter in a stunned silence. Carrie still seemed shaken up as Iron Grip approached her.
She sniffled as she looked up.
“Are...are you okay?”” Iron Grip frowned.
Carrie let out a small sigh and nuzzled against him. “Oh Iron Grip, thank you.”
“Aw it was nothing.” He said, trying to fight the blush forming on his cheeks.
“Nothing?” She scoffed. “You stood up to Wisp! I’m so proud of you!”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Iron Grip didn’t even try to stop the blushing anymore, letting his whole face go red.
“Well uh...he was uh….yelling at you.” He managed to stammer out. “And I...I didn’t like that…”
Carrie nuzzled closer to him. “I love you, Iron Grip.”
“I...I love you too…” He sputtered out.
He’d told her he’d loved her before, but now he realized how much he did love her, and how much she meant to him.
Carrie made his heart soar and made him feel bliss. She was his everything, and in that moment he realized how much he truly was in love with her.
Gosh, author, your attempts at purple prose aren’t nearly florid enough. Come back and try again once you’ve gotten yourself a decent vocabulary.
Iron Grip slowly went over to the pile of scrap metal in the back of the garage, looking for the perfect piece of metal. Nothing too rusted or dirty, but something bright and shiny.
Sun light from the upper windows shined inside, reflecting on a small piece of metal in the pile.
This is perfect!
Iron Grip gripped the piece of metal tightly in his jaw and bent the metal into a circle. She’s going to love this!
Oh boy, I can tell the next few paragraphs are going to be thrilling.
Iron Grip carefully held the bent metal and hopped onto the table Carrie was on. She was still pretty stressed out about the situation with Wisp, and was trying to calm herself.
Her eyes were shut tight until she heard the clinging of metal hitting the table. The circular piece of metal laid in front of her.
“Iron Grip?” She asked, slightly confused.
“Carrie.” He said, gently. “Will….will you marry me?”
PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Her eyes lit up and she nuzzled against him. “Yes! Of course Iron Grip!”
Oh man, this is great!
“I love you…” Iron Grip breathed out gently.
And they say jokes that you can see coming aren’t funny!
“I love you too.” Carrie said, tearing up slightly.
I love the direction this story has taken. So much potential for mocke-
A sudden sense of trepidation has crept into my mind, along with the notion that the reason for my trepidation has to do with that one Plunker chapter I can’t remember.
Eh, I don’t feel like going back and reading it.
The two sat there embracing each other before Carrie pulled back. “Oh my gosh! We’ve got so much to do before the wedding!”
She started pacing around. “A wedding dress….Maid of Honor...Oh! And guests!”
How would a “battery carrier” wear a dress?
Iron Grip laughed a bit. “We’ll have plenty of time for planning.”
Carrie kissed his cheek again and snuggled him closer. “I’m just so happy….”
“I am too.” Iron Grip said, gently.
“Why don’t we go outside for a bit?” Carrie asked. “It’s very nice outside.”
“Okay!” Iron Grip said, excitedly.
The two of them hopped off the counter and headed out the garage door. When they were gone, Wisp popped his head out from a nearby toolbox.
Oh, so the two sweet bolts are getting married, huh? Well….I might as well make it a wedding they’ll never forget…..
Aaand CHAPTER!
(The next part of my review has now been posted!)
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 18 and 19
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- well, if I'm reviewing it, you know it's got to be bad.
Last time ended with me having to suffer through another insertion of Snow While into what's supposed to be a fanfic based on Handy Manny; today, we enter in to a new section of the fic.
And that section is, obviously, the part of the fanfic where chapters are so short that almost every post is going to end up being a double feature.
What, that wasn't what you were expecting? Oh, right, I guess something else does begin in Chapter 18 too...
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
There’s no heading for it, but this is the start of Part 2.
My personal theory as for why there isn’t a heading is that the part headings state the character the section is focusing on, and in this part of the story our lead guy turning out to be a Canon Character All Along is actually supposed to be a plot twist.
Although that doesn’t explain why the author couldn’t just write “Part 2” and not list a character there, and their brilliant plan also falls apart because the plot twist is more obvious than the obvious bad guy from “The Secret Of Anastasia” turning out to indeed be a bad guy, and this ploy was also completely pointless because the author’s note at the beginning of the fanfic listed which characters would get which parts, so we already know that part two is about Rusty.
And now, without further ado,
Chapter 18
A silver monkey wrench-
Okay, there’s going to need to be a bit of further ado while I explain some tool terminology.
Properly, “monkey wrenches” are a specific kind of obsolete wrench popular in the early 1900s. The kind of tool everyone seems inclined to call a “monkey wrench” is actually called a pipe wrench.
I know this naming issue was in Handy Manny proper and isn’t the fanfic author’s fault, but it’s still worth pointing out.
- anxiously approached a battery carrier,-
I have no idea what that’s supposed to be, beyond presumably something that carries batteries of some sort.
- a bunch of dandelions in his jaw.
It appears Schrodinger’s Toolikinesis has struck again.
Seriously, writer, I don’t care if you let the tools “hold things” the way the snakes in Far Side cartoons do, but at least be consistent about it!
“H...Happy anniversary, Carrie.” He said, dropping the flowers in front of her.
1. Oh joy, more romance.
2. Har har har, the “battery carrier” is named “Carrie”.
“Oh, these are lovely Iron Grip!” The battery carrier said, excitedly. She may have only given him a small kiss on the cheek, but that didn’t stop his face from turning bright red.
What the- now that’s a weird action description.
“I’ve got something for you too!” Carrie said. She grabbed a box and pushed it towards him.
Iron Grip pulled out a small pair of orange earmuffs.
I’d laugh, but given that in this story’s world the humans know about living tools it’s actually perfectly logical that someone would make tool-sized earmuffs.
“Since the noises around the garage bug you, I thought these would help.” Carrie said.
“Aww thank you.” Iron Grip said, blushing even more.
Nearby an air ratchet rolled his eyes before going over.-
I think “air ratchet” is supposed to mean “pneumatically-powered ratchet wrench”, but given that I looked up “battery carrier” and got nothing consistent, who knows?
- “Yeah, then noises like cars honking, tires rolling, and air pumps...y’know….. All normal noises in a garage !”
Iron Grip whimpered a little bit and hid behind Carrie.
“Leave him alone, Wisp!”-
Man, “Plunker” was already a bad enough name, but “Wisp”? You can’t give a character who’s supposed to be jerkish and tough a name that connotes innocence and ethereality!
- Carrie snapped, as she literally snapped her jaws shut.
So a “battery carrier” is something that’s supposed to have jaws. Interesting.
“Whoa, whoa no need to get so angry.” The air ratchet chuckled. “I was just pointing out ol’ Iron Grip here needs to stop being afraid of common sounds around here.”
“Well I uh...uh..” Iron Grip sputtered out.
“That’s none of your business!” Carrie said.
“All I’m saying is if he’s going to work here, he needs to…”
“No! I know why you’re doing this!” She said. “You’re not trying to help him! You’re trying to make him feel bad about being anxious!”
Hey, didn’t Handy Manny proper have a “monkey wrench” whose sole character trait was being really anxious all the time?
Eh, I’m sure it’s not important.
Wisp sighed dramatically. “Oh, sweet, sweet Carrie….the world is cruel...isn’t it?”
Carrie glared as she went back over to Iron Grip.
“He has to get used to this at some point.” Wisp said. “And you’re just hindering him by giving him a crutch like that.”
“Come on Iron Grip, let's get some fresh air.” Carrie said, heading towards the front of the garage.
There was a nice spring breeze in the air as they stood on the sidewalk, looking at the town. Clouds started to form in the sky.
“Do you think Wisp is right?” Iron Grip whimpered.
“No.” Carrie shook her head
“But...but...what about me being scared of the sounds...like...like the engine… or...or car horns!” Iron Grip whined.
“It’s okay to be scared.” Carrie reassured him.
Iron Grip sniffled. “Thanks.”
A light drizzle started and they backed up under the protection of the awning.
“We better get back inside before we rust.” Carrie said.
Gee, that “monkey wrench” from the actual show… wasn’t he named Rusty or something?
Also, love how Turner and the rest of Teeth’s gang could take a dip in the fountain in Part One and be just fine but now in Part Two Iron Grip and Carrie are afraid that being caught in a drizzle will make them rust up.
Iron Grip nodded. “Right.”
The two tools headed back inside as the rain started to pick up.
Wow, that chapter was short.
Chapter 19
The tools gathered around as a car backed into the garage for a repair. The mechanic carefully opened the hood of the car and examined the engine.
“I’m ready when you are Anne!” Wisp called out to the mechanic.
“And hey, have you seen my comma?”
“How do you know she’ll need you?” Carrie asked.
“Why wouldn’t she?” Wisp scoffed. “I’m used in over half of the repairs around here!”
As someone who knows absolutely nothing about car repair, I’m not sure what to say here other than that I suspect the author doesn’t actually know anything about car repair either.
“So am I.” Carrie said flatly. “And I think Iron Grip is even used more than both of us combined.”
Wisp scowled as he looked at the monkey wrench. “At least I’m not scared of a car engine.”
“Oh, don’t bring this up again!” Carrie snapped.
“And see! He can’t even defend himself! He needs someone else to do it for him!” Wisp shouted.
I know he’s supposed to be unlikable, but Wisp is actually getting hard to read about.
Iron Grip whimpered as the two of them kept fighting. He hopped off the worktable and headed over to a toolbox on the ground. He laid inside and shook slightly.
The box rocked as Iron Grip shivered anxiously. He didn’t want to see Wisp, let alone be on the workbench until the repair was over,
However Wisp and Carrie’s arguing drifted over to the toolbox, loud and clear:
“Well, maybe if he put in effort to be part of the team, he would-”
“Knock it off!” Carrie interrupted. “He’s a better team player than you are!”
“Oh really now?” He challenged.
Apparently, Anne subscribes to the “Mr. Grover” approach to conflict resolution: Don’t bother doing anything.
Iron Grip exhaled deeply and clenched his eyes shut. Just go to your happy place Iron Grip….Go to your happy place….
Oh no. I feel a flashback coming on.
He managed to zone out the arguing and clear his mind.
Iron Grip was alone with his thoughts, almost in a void.
Just Iron Grip and the void…...and…..
No flashback? Oh greatest of joys upon the earth!
“Iron Grip!”
He turned around to see Carrie rushing towards him.
Aaand the joy’s gone.
“Carrie!” He said, excitedly, before heading over to her.
The two of them hugged, staying in each other’s embrace. Iron Grip leaned closer and kissed her cheek.
He felt safe and secure with her. It was like nothing else mattered, not the noises around the garage, not the fear of failing, not even Wisp.
What Iron Grip felt was pure love and safety.
Carrie was everything to him.
Yeah, something’s going to happen to drive a rift between them.
Iron Grip snapped out of his fantasy when he heard screaming across the garage.
“You’re just as bad as he is!” Wisp snapped.
“Please Wisp, calm down. It’s really not a big deal….” Anne said.
Wow, Anne is actually trying to do something! Impressive!
“No! She dropped a battery!” Wisp shouted. “These are expensive!”
Hey, at least she didn’t drop it over a waterfall like a certain toaster…
“Wisp...please…” A voice whimpered.
Carrie
“You don’t belong in this garage either!” He continued. “We can’t afford to make mistakes like this! You agree with me, don’t you Anne?”
“Wisp….I told you it’s not a big deal. I can just grab another battery.”
I’m confused. Did Carrie drop the battery just now so she could go comfort IG, or is Wisp bringing up an old incident?
“What, so this klutz can just drop it again!? Maybe you should throw her into the scrap metal bin, and actually get a battery carrier who’s competent at her job!”
“Wisp!”
Iron Grip felt anger brewing inside of him, something he’d never felt before.
Slowly he got out of the tool box and made his way over.
Oh boy, I feel a fight scene coming on! I can’t wait to find out how the author will botch one of those up!
(My review of the next two chapters is now up.)
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 17
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- well, if I'm reviewing it, you know it's got to be bad.
Last time, a lot of plot went down, and today- wow, I can barely believe it- we're covering the last chapter of Part 1. That's right, folks- after today, we'll be done with Turner, and on to the hapless adventures of some other tool.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 17
Manny was packing the last few boxes into the back of Abuelito’s car when Turner came back.
Gee, after that cliffhanger I was kind of expecting this chapter to begin with a Plunker segment.
Good! I’m not too late!
“Manny!” Turner panted out as he rushed towards the car.
Manny looked over in surprise. “Turner?”
“Manny...I...I changed my mind! I want to stay with you!” He said, out of breath.
Manny smiled widely. “R..really?”
Turner felt the knot return to his stomach. Great….I’m still just using him, aren’t I? This has to stop….
A tool using a human. I’d say that this is actually some clever irony, but given the author’s track record I’m pretty sure it’s unintentional.
“I can’t lie to you anymore kid!” Turner said.
Manny frowned. “What do you mean?”
Turner broke down and explained everything. “For the past month I’ve been living with a group of tools who don’t like humans! And...and we all needed to chip in to find food and I kept coming here for food, and I feel terrible for using you! Then they found out that we were...were…”
Friends.
Now Turner didn’t feel so unsure about the word. It felt nice….and it felt...right….
“...That we were friends.” Turner sighed.
“Turner…” Manny frowned, leaning down to his level.
“I understand if you hate me, kid. I...I just needed to tell you. I feel bad for using you like that.” Turner started to leave, but Manny pulled him into a hug.
Turner looked up, confused. “You’re not mad?”
Of course Manny’s not mad. He’s obviously That One Random Kid Who Is Somehow The Embodiment Of Kindness And A Paragon Of Humanity, duh.
“No.” Manny said, hugging him closer. “You’re my friend Turner….And you needed help….”
He pulled back slightly. “Do you wanna stay with me Turner?”
“Yes!” Turner said a bit too excitedly.
Manny smiled. “All right, come on.” He headed over to the backseat of the car. “We’ve got a long drive to Concrete Falls.”
“And I’m sure my parents won’t mind that I invited a stranger to come live with us!”
That night Manny curled up in his bed in Concrete Falls, holding Turner close.
This is a lot more comfy than the alley. Turner thought as he snuggled deeper into the blankets.
“Turner, do you wanna hear a story?” Manny asked.
“Sure, kid.”
Manny pulled a small box onto the bed where all his story books were packed up. “Here, pick one out.”
Turner looked through the books. Usually books weren’t his thing, but he was willing to listen to one for the kid’s sake. None of the books caught his eye at first, until he came across one: Snow White
Oh my god. Not this again.
“This one.” Turner said, plopping the book onto the bed.
“Snow White?” Manny smiled. “I love this one!”
AAAARGH!
He patted the pillow for Turner to come over.
Turner hopped over and slipped under the covers. They were warm and soft, unlike the piece of fabric he’d been using.
Manny opened the book and started the story. “Once upon a time there was a Queen who was The Fairest Of All.”
WHY?!
That’s what she thinks! Turner mentally scoffed.
“Each day she’d ask the mirror, “Magic Mirror on The Wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” And each day the mirror would reply, “You my queen are the fairest of all.”
Turner snuggled deeper into the covers and started to drift off as Manny read about the dwarves washing their hands for supper.
Yeah, stuff like that would probably put me to sleep too.
He felt comfortable and safe, like he belonged.
Like he had a family.
And that’s the end of Turner's story!
(The beginning of the next tool's story can be enjoyed here.)
I was actually going to be a bit charitable here and say that, while far from a masterpiece, this work of fanfiction was still more enjoyable to read than certain stories that were actual published books, but with the first part ending with another friggin’ Snow White sequence I can safely say that this is no longer my opinion.
Also, I’d like you, readers, to know that this story has inspired me to coin a new word- “plunking”, meaning “wasting time, usually in a work of fiction by the use of unnecessary subplots”.
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 16
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- well, if I'm reviewing it, you know it's got to be bad.
In the last chapter... something happened, I guess, and now in this chapter Turner is faced with a plot bombshell we all knew had to happen sometime... and a plot bombshell that comes completely the heck out of nowhere with no foreshadowing whatsoever.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 16
Hey, does anyone remember what happened in the last chapter?
I think it was a Plunker segment… which might be why I can’t recall anything.
Wait, wasn’t there golf involved somehow?
Anyway…
Well here we go…. Turner internally sighed. First day on the new job. How am I going to do this!? I can’t just keep going to the kid everyday to take food from him!
Turner wasn’t sure if it was the fear that Manny would become suspicious of him constantly taking food or guilt for doing it, but Turner felt a knot twist in his stomach.
For some reason, I feel really tired of “knots in tool stomachs are bad for the spacetime continuum” jokes.
Like something made them stop being funny anymore, or something.
I don’t really have much of a choice, do I? I can’t go back to the bakery, and I can’t even remember where the community garden is! I guess I’ll have to go back there.
Turner made his way down the sidewalk, his stomach still churning.
When he got to the entrance of the backyard, he paused when he heard crying. Manny?
Uh-oh.
Turner rushed in and saw Manny sitting on the back porch, sobbing into his hands.
He hurried over to the porch and sat next to him. “Manny? What’s wrong?”
“Turner!” Manny said, quickly picking him up and pressing him into a tight hug.
“Yeah kid, I’m here, I’m here…” Turner said, gently. “It’s okay…”
He nuzzled slightly against Manny’s cheek, hoping to calm him down. “What’s wrong, kid?”
“Mi...Mi madre murió….” [“My… my mother died…”] Manny sobbed, pulling the screwdriver closer.
Wow, a source of cheap emotional torque that doesn’t involve romance! I’m impressed!
Turner knew enough Spanish to understand his mother had passed away.
“I...I’m sorry kid…” Turner said, softly.
Manny sniffled loudly and just sat there, cradling Turner close to his chest. “Turner?”
“Yeah?”
“Will….will you stay here with me?”
Turner froze. “Stay….h..here?”
Manny nodded. “Please...I...I don’t wanna be alone…”
“Kid….I...I can’t…”
Wow, I actually felt the tiniest crumb of genuine sadness there. Just a modicum, a scintilla, a speck, but that’s still more than literally anything else in this story has made me feel.
Manny frowned. “Oh….I understand…” He pulled away slightly and sighed.
Not bad for a completely-out-of-left-field random plot twist!
Turner felt the knot twist even more.
Hopefully the author doesn’t find a way to ruin it somehow.
Swift watched closely from behind the fence as Turner and Manny talked.-
Aaaand they did.
-She narrowed her eyes at them. I knew there was something suspicious about him! I gotta tell Teeth!
“But….I guess I can stay here with you a while…” Turner said.
“G...Gracias Turner…” Manny sniffled, holding him closer.
“It’s gonna be okay kid.” Turner said, gently.
“I hope so..” Manny sighed. “Tomorrow I’m going to Concrete Falls to stay with my dad for a while.”
“Your dad lives in Concrete Falls?”
I can’t wait for poorly-thought-out location placement to turn Concrete Falls into another region of San Diego.
Manny nodded. “He runs a garage there. Me, Reuben, and Lola used to help him…until me and Lola moved down here to live with mom. Reuben stayed with dad but he still came down to visit.”
“Oh.” Turner frowned. “So you’re going to live with your dad now?”
“For a while….then me and Lola are gonna stay with Abuelito.” Manny explained, hugging Turner more. “You’ll still be here too, right?”
“Yeah, of course kid.” Turner said without hesitation. “I’ll still visit you.”
“Manny!” A voice called, startling Turner.
“Who...who was that?” He asked anxiously.
“My Abuelito.” Manny said, putting Turner back on the porch. “I have to go….”
He stood up and looked at Turner again. “Are you sure you don’t wanna come with?”
Turner sighed. “I’m sorry kid...I can’t…”
“It’s okay…” Manny said, heading towards the door. “I’ll see you later, right?”
Turner smiled. “Right, kid.”
When Turner returned to the alleyway, Teeth, Swift, and Twist all looked at him, and they didn’t seem too happy.
What’s with them? Turner thought. Then realization hit him. I forgot to bring food back! And on my first day of it being my full job! How did I forget the one thing I needed to get!?
Oh my. The dramatic irony is killing me.
Turner smiled anxiously as he hopped over to the three of them. “Hey guys...uh...I just uh...came back to uh...tell you I haven’t heard of any food yet, but I’ll uh...keep looking!”
“Save it Oliver, we know you found your own little Jenny.” Teeth said.
What on Earth does that mean?
Turner looked confused. “What?”
All I know is that it sounds like another out-of-place pop culture reference.
Teeth went over. “Swift told us everything.”
Oh, right. Oliver And Company.
Turner looked over at Swift who seemed angry, and Twist….She looked devastated.
Gee, Turner is going to get kicked out of the gang and end up being able/having to go to Concrete Falls with Manny after all! How convenient!
“You were with a human this whole time….” Twist said as she went over to him, her voice small and broken. “How could you do this to us!?” Tears rushed down her cheeks.
“Whoa, whoa!” Turner panicked. “I...I wasn’t with a human….”
The other tools looked at him, unconvinced.
“Well...o...okay I...I was...but...but it’s not like we were friends or anything!” Turner protested.
“Hm. Right.” Swift grumbled. “That’s why he was hugging you?”
“No! You...you don’t understand!” Turner pleaded.
“No. I don’t think you understand.” Teeth said, getting closer. “You’re a traitor! And we don’t like traitors around her.” He turned towards Twist and Swift. “Right, girls?”
“Right!” Swift said.
“...Right…” Twist said, looking away slightly.
“Yes, riiiiiiiiiight…”
“So I suggest you mosey on out of here”-
Random cowboy lingo. That’s a way to kill the mood that I haven’t seen before!
-“before we have an even bigger problem.” He said, bending his blade towards Turner.
“H..hey...let's not get violent here…” Turner sputtered out.
“Why? Because your little human isn’t here to protect you?” Teeth laughed.
“Just let him go, Teeth.” Twist sighed. “He’s not worth our time…”
Teeth looked Turner over one more time before laughing slightly. “You’re right, Twist. He can’t do anything to us….Come on girls, let's go…”
He and Swift left the alleyway, but Twist lingered behind slightly. She sighed and turned towards Turner.
“Twist I…”
“Turner…” She groaned. “You hurt me.”
“I didn’t mean to Twist...I...I just…”
“You just what?” She asked. “Thought you could get away lying to us!?”
“ Well ...yeah...but I was just doing it to get food!”
“So you don’t care about him? At all?” Twist challenged.
“Well I...wouldn’t say at all ...but he’s just-”
Twist sighed again. “Just forget it, Turner...it’s for the best if you just leave…”
“But, but….”
He watched as Twist followed the others.
But you’re my family...
Aaaand CHAPTER!
(My review of the next chapter is now up and available for reading!)
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 15
Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that -do I even need to say it?- is not very good.
Last time, we watched Turner and Manny dink around and hit up the bakery. And learned that, somehow, in this story's world, the temperature in San Diego drops below freezing during the winter. And sat though another long flashback. Now in this chapter... well, if I'm being honest, I just finished writing this bit and I have absolutely zero recollection of what happened. Must be a thrilling one.
(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)
Chapter 15
Last chapter ended with a flashback to when Turner was still around Plunker, so guess how this one starts.
With a Plunker segment.
Mr Grover and his tools had been in Florida for a few weeks now, but Plunker still wasn’t able to shake her guilt.
Hey, I wonder if it’s going to snow in Florida like it apparently does in San Diego.
“Hey Plunker!” Claspy called out. “We’re going to the golf course, you wanna come?”
Plunker looked over and shook her head slightly. “No thanks, I wanna stay here.”
Dangit, I’d really like to see how a bunch of tools would play golf.
“Oh come on! You haven’t wanted to go out at all since we got here!” Clapsy protested. “What’s the matter with you!?”
“I just want to stay here, all right?” Plunker sniffled, as tears pricked her eyes.
Blah blah blah she still misses Turner yadda yadda yadda WE ALREADY KNOW!
“Okay, fine.” Clapsy sighed before hopping back over to Bolt. “You don’t have to cry about it.”
Tapper went over to Plunker. “Hey, how are you sweetie?”
On a range of 1-10 from 1 being “absolutely obnoxious” to 10 being “Cricket and Gabriella”, I’d give this romance writing a negative three.
“I feel a bit queasy.” She sighed. “Well, more queasy than usual.”
Huh. Apparently negative numbers interact in an odd way with the Matter Deletion Nexus.
Tapper frowned in worry. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “Maybe I ate something bad?” She groaned as her stomach gurgled loudly. “Or maybe I have a stomach bug.”
Don’t ask me how any bacteria or viruses could survive anywhere near the portal to nonexistence that makes up the living tools’ “internal organs”, but in Handy Manny proper the saw could somehow catch a cold so I guess I can’t blame this one on the writer.
Tapper was in thought for a moment. “Unless….no...nevermind.”
“What?” Plunker asked.
“It’s nothing….I don’t think it’s the reason you’re sick…”
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
“No, what is it?” She asked, slightly worried.
“.....Well we’ve been together for a while and maybe you’re….you’re…”
“....Pregnant?” Plunker finished.
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUUUUUUUUU-
Tapper nodded slowly.
//Starts laughing nervously, while my left eye twitches like mad//
Plunker went pale. Pregnant? I….I can’t be! I….I can’t be a mother! At least not yet…..I...I…
I understand now! Nothing is reason! Everything is a lie!
What consumes existence and leaves nothing behind breaks down the laws of the world in its wake!
She started tearing up and Tapper immediately pulled her closer. “Shh shh it’s okay. I’m here for you.”
In imitation of man it destroys, and in imitation of man it creates more destroyers!
Which shall grow in the terminus of all but themselves, that void of destruction!
“I...I can’t...I...I can’t be a mom….I...I…” She cried loudly. “I just can’t….”
Before entering this world through folded space, impossible geometries (“Hammerspace?”, a part of my brain still must ask, as if jokes still have any meaning), an object coming from an opening whose mere pondering defies the sanity I no longer possess!
“Is she still crying?” Claspy groaned. “Come on! Are you gonna just keep moping or are you gonna get over it!?”
So they shall consume, and so reproduce, until in their numbers like locusts everything on Earth shall be eaten!
Plunker looked over, her eyes still full of tears. “Claspy...not now...okay…”
But then, after they have triumphed, what will be left for these destroyers that call themselves tools?
They will starve! Nothing shall become nothing, for nothing will be left! And they will fall, one by one, until the last thinking mind in the universe shall waver and vanish into nothingness!
Claspy was taken aback by how distraught she was. “Oh...I’m...sorry…” She awkwardly hopped off and went back over to Bolt.
//laughs madly//
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t bug you anymore.” Tapper promised.
//collapses from exhaustion//
“It’s fine…” She sniffled. “She’s always…”
“No. It’s not okay.” Tapper said, firmly. “She’s not respecting your feelings. You just moved to a new place, you have a right to be sad and scared. Claspy should understand that.”
Plunker just sighed.
“Has she done this before?” Tapper asked.
Plunker just nodded. “And Bolt too….I never felt like I could talk to anyone here….expect Turner….” She turned towards Tapper, blushing heavily while tears still glistened in her eyes. “And you.”
Tapper nuzzled her close. “I’ll always be here for you...no matter what.”
Wha…?
What?
What… just happened?
I have a strange feeling that I should just move on to the next chapter and not dwell on how I can't seem to remember anything that happened in this one.
#marsmarvel02 does a review#review#fanfiction review#bad fanfic review#handy manny#what manny can't fix review
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