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marsmarvel02 · 24 days

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 38

Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that... well, it just isn't very good.

Wow, it's actually been a whole week since the last chapter of this review was posted. (I'd like to say that I took spring break off, but really I was just working on other stuff.)

Last time, our quartet of "main" characters rode all around town diligently hanging up copies of Twist's "MISSING" poster... by which I mean they hung up like two and then got distracted by an ice cream shop. Today... they're going to eat some ice cream. Woohoo.

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 38

After riding around town, the four of them plopped down on the sidewalk in front of the print shop again.

Allow me to take this time to make a prediction: Just because there wasn’t a pointless time-wasting scene of Pumpetunia inflating tires when we were introduced to Kira and Lilly’s bikes, doesn’t mean there isn’t going to be a pointless pumping scene sometime later in the story.

“Well, that should do it!” Lilly panted out, leaning her back against the building. She turned her gaze towards Felipe and Pumpetunia. “We’ll get a call in no time!”

“I hope so.” Felipe sighed, looking away slightly. “I just….I just wish I knew why she left…”

Pumpetunia gently put her hose around him, pulling him closer, trying to comfort him.

“I’m really sorry…” Kira said, biting down a bit on her lip slightly.

“Me too…” Lilly frowned. “You guys really miss her, huh?”

Felipe nodded. "I think it's been the hardest on Pumpetunia." He looked at the bike pump sitting next to him, and gave her a gentle nuzzle in comfort.

"I understand." Lilly said. "I'd be sad if my gifriend went missing too!" She reached over and grabbed Kira's hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

Ah yes, Kira is Lilly’s “gifriend”. That means that she agrees with Lilly about how “GIF” should be pronounced.

Kira leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, making her giggle slightly.

The door to the print shop opened and Maude stood in the doorway. "How did hanging the fliers go?"

"It was exhausting!" Lilly huffed out, plopping onto her back on the sidewalk.

"Oh, I'll bet." Maude said. "I saw you biking all around town."

If she was in the print shop working at her job this whole time, how the heck could she have seen them bicycling around… whatever town they’re in? (San Diego?)

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a few bills. "Why don't you get some Ice cream and treat yourself?"

One, “Ice” shouldn’t be capitalized as it’s in the middle of the sentence.

Two, HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW THEY WANTED TO GET ICE CREAM?!

Felipe's eyes lit up. "Ice cream!?"

Crazy out-of-nowhere theory: Maude is psychic.

“Thank you.” Kira said sheepishly, grabbing the money.

“Of course!” Maude smiled. “You deserve a break with how hard you were working. If you need any more help finding your friend, feel free to ask.”

“Thanks…” Kira said again, heading back to her bike, placing Pumpetunia the basket. “Let's get going…”

“Right!” Lilly said, grabbing Felipe and putting him into her own. “Ice cream here we come! Wahoo!”

As they biked to the store rain started to patter down.

Oh no, is Felipe going to rust?

No, of course not. Rust is only a problem when it’s narratively appropriate; at any other time, a screwdriver can (and, at one point, did) go for a swim in a park fountain and not have to worry one bit about corrosion.

"They said it was gonna be sunny all day!" Lilly pouted.

Pumpetunia shivered as she ducked into the basket, trying to avoid the drops.

Felipe crouched down too, but the rain was getting harder.

Once they got to the ice cream shop, the girls quickly locked up their bikes before hurrying inside.

Felipe laughed a bit. “We’re all drenched!”

“Yeah we are!” Lilly giggled, grabbing some napkins and trying to dab her shirt dry.

Kira leaned against the table, out of breath still from biking around town.

“Are you okay?” Lilly frowned, putting her hand on her back.

“Yeah…I’m fine….” She breathed out. “I’m just tired from putting up all the posters…”

Kira closed her eyes, resting her tired eyes.

“Do you want me to just order for us so you can take a nap?” Lilly teased.

It appears Random Nap Syndrome has struck again.

Kira nodded, not even raising her head.

How the heck do you nod without raising your head?

“What do you guys want?” Lilly asked Felipe and Pumpetunia.

“Oh! I’ll take strawberry!” Felipe said, excitedly, before turning to Pumpetunia to ask what she wanted.

“¡Quiero pistacho!” [“I want pistachio!”] She replied.

“Strawberry and pistachio, got it!” Lilly said, heading over to the counter.

Felipe looked at Kira, still slumped over, and hopped over towards her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Kira let out a muffled sound in reply, not even raising her head at all.

Pumpetunia used her hose to gently stroke her hair.

"¿Se encuentra ella bien?" [“Is she okay?”] Pumpetunia asked.

"Sí, solo está exhausta." [“Yeah, she’s just exhausted.”] Felipe explained.

Pumpetunia let out a small yawn. "Yo también." [“Me too”] She leaned against Felipe .

Oh, COME ON!

"Supongo que yo también estoy cansado". Felipe said, also drowsy.

ARRGH!

WHY IS RANDOM NAP SYNDROME SUDDENLY CONTAGIOUS?!

The three of them dozed off at the table, only awoken by the sound of a thud on the table.

Thank goodness there’s not another dream sequence…

"Ah!" Kira jolted up, followed by the tools.

"Sorry, did I interrupt nap time?" Lilly giggled.

Kira gave her a tired smile before giving Lilly a kiss on the cheek.

Lilly scooted into the seat next to her and handed her a cup of chocolate swirl ice cream.

"Thanks." Kira said, putting her spoon in.

Lilly then set a small strawberry and pistachio in front of Felipe and Pumpetunia.

"Oh, thank you!" Felipe said.

"¡Gracias!" Pumpetunia said, already face first into her ice cream.

Lilly put her arm around Kira, pulling her closer.

"Thank you for helping us with the posters." Felipe said.

"Hey, no problem!" Lilly said. "I hope we can find your sister."

"I do too…" Felipe sighed.

Kira slid her spoon up and down her ice cream, leaving a small streak along the side.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lilly asked, gripping Kira's shoulder.

She nodded, not looking up from the ice cream. "I was just thinking." She looked over at Felipe and Pumpetunia. "I think I'm ready to tell you about why I'm at the shelter."

“Hopefully, the rainstorm outside will provide dramatic thunder at appropriate moments.”

"Only if you feel comfortable with that." Felipe said. "If you don't want to, you don't…"

"No, no, it's fine." Kira insisted. "I feel like I can trust you both " She turned towards Felipe. "Can you translate the story for Pumpetunia for me?"

"Of course!"

"Thanks." She gave a small smile before it turned into a worried expression. "My parents weren't…. weren't really happy when I told them about Lilly…being my girlfriend."

Gee, that was…

Felipe looked horrified before anxiously turning towards Pumpetunia, and shakily, he translated to her.

… kind of predictable, honestly.

Pumpetunia's eyes widened as he looked over at a now distressed looking Kira.

Author, you should’ve thought harder and came up with a unique reason for Kira to be homeless that isn’t so… so cliche.

Once Felipe finished his translation, Pumpetunia hopped over to Kira and gently held onto her arm. "Lo siento…" [“I’m sorry”]

"She said she's sorry."

Kira pulled her into a hug. "Gracias." She sniffled.

Felipe went over, and Kira pulled him close too. Then Lilly pulled all three of them over, giving a tight squeeze.

“Thanks guys…” Kira sniffled. She forced herself to look up, teary eyed.

Lilly grabbed her hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

“So I…I’ve been staying at the shelter for the…last few months.” Kira continued. “Until I can find somewhere to stay…”

“My parents don't know about us.” Lilly added. "I don't feel comfortable coming out to them…."

It’s a toss-up whether this will turn out to be a bombshell the author will randomly drop when they feel they need some emotional torque or a sudden plot twist, or whether it’ll be one of those lines that the author will completely forget they wrote and accidentally contradict later.

She started playing with her spoon, mixing her now slightly melted ice cream.

Kira looked over at Felipe. "Can you ask Pumpetunia about her and Twist?"

"Ella quiere saber sobre ti y Twist" [“She wants to know about you and Twist”] Felipe said.

Missing a period there, writer.

Pumpetunia looked hesitant for a moment, still feeling slightly emotional about her lost girlfriend.

After a moment, she started gushing about Twist.

Felipe had hard time keeping up with her as he translated for Lilly and Kira:

"Where do I even begin? Twist means everything to me, she’s the love of my life! And I….I miss her so much….I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t find her….I love her so much and…I just wish she had stayed…I’d never let her get thrown into a scrap metal bin!”

What is it with Twist- and Iron Grip, for that matter- that they’re willing to up and abandon the loves of their lives the moment something damages them?

She started shaking a little. “If she stayed. I would have kept her safe…” She clung to Felipe and looked at him, “We both would have kept her safe! She’s our family and family sticks together…” She nuzzled more against Felipe. “And we’ll stick together.”

Kira put her arm around Pumpetunia, stroking her back gently. She leaned towards Felipe and asked, “How do I say ‘Everything’s gonna be okay’ in Spanish?”

"Todo estará bien.”

“Todo estará bien.” She said gently to Pumpetunia.

Pumpetunia looked over, teary eyed, and gave her a small smile. Kira pulled her into a tight hug, trying to comfort her.

Felipe went over and joined in, nuzzling Pumpetunia.

For now at least, they all felt okay, and that's all that mattered.

Yeah, that’s not going to last.

While proofreading this review, I had an interesting thought: Due to this fanfic’s nature as a prequel, we know that Felipe is inevitably going to have to abandon his search for Twist and come to live with Manny.

In Part 1, Turner met Twist, and learned that she had a brother she abandoned, before he settled down with Manny.

So, when Felipe finally meets Manny (which will probably be after a bit of a timeskip given what I said earlier), what plot contrivance is going to prevent Turner from telling Felipe that he’d met his sister, and had a rough idea of where to find her?

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction review #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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marsmarvel02 · 27 days

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#rebloggin'#tblt #the brave little toaster #brave little toaster

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marsmarvel02 · 27 days

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#rebloggin'#tblt #the brave little toaster #brave little toaster

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marsmarvel02 · 1 month

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drops this with no elaboration

#rebloggin'#oscar's orchestra

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marsmarvel02 · 1 month

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Sleepy bfs

#rebloggin'#oscar's orchestra

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marsmarvel02 · 1 month

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 37

Hello and welcome back to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a fanfic based on Handy Manny that is- dare I say it- not very good.

Last time, Felipe and Pumpetunia met Lilly and they decided to make missing posters for Twist... but not before plunking around at a diner first. Today, we return to watch as the quartet bike around town, hang up posters, and generally don't do anything very interesting.

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 37

After breakfast, the four of them headed to the print shop with their hand drawn flyer.

“Hand-drawn” should be hyphenated, although that’s not really a very funny error.

Kira headed over to the counter and put the drawing down on the counter. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

The woman at the counter turned around and gave him a small smile. “Oh hello dear, what can I do for you?”

“How many copies can I get for five bucks?” Kira asked.

“I can print out ten copies for that much.”

Only ten? Kira tried to hide her disappointment with a smile as she slid her the five dollars. “Thank you.” Then went back to the others.

“It’ll be done in about twenty minutes.” The woman said.

Geez, how slow is your copier?!

“Thanks again.” Kira said, before turning back to the others. “Wanna wait outside?”

“Sounds good to me.” Lilly said, grabbing her hand, and heading towards the door.

Once outside, the four of them sat on the sidewalk, and Kira took out her sketchbook again. “Okay, I only had enough to get ten printed.”

“But…but…” Felipe pouted. “That won’t be enough to find Twist…”

“I know…” Kira frowned. “That’s why we're going to hand draw some more posters!”

Oh boy.

She grabbed some extra pencils from her bag and ripped out some sheets of paper for everyone.

PAHAHA!

“I’m not much of an artist.” Felipe said.

I wasn’t expecting her to make everyone else try to draw posters too!

“It’s okay!” Kira reassured him. “Just try your best, okay?”

“Okay.” Felipe smiled, grabbing the top of the pencil in his mouth, and putting it to the paper. “Here I go…”

Schrodinger’s Toolikinesis strikes again…

Pumpetunia wrapped her hose tightly around her pencil and started her drawing too, sighing slightly, thinking of her girlfriend. Te extraño… [“I miss you…”]

"You're doing a great job, guys!" Kira said.

"Oh, thank you!" Felipe said.

Pumpetunia was still focused on her drawing, trying to get the details just right. She stroked her drawing, as if she were stroking her face again.

Her mind wandered back to a night they had together.

ANOTHER FLASHBACK?! AAAAARGH!

The two of them sat under a bike they'd been working on that day. Pumpetunia wrapped her hose around Twist and held her close, nuzzling against her face.

"Hermosa…" [“Beautiful…”] Twist breathed out.

"¿La bicicleta?" [“The bicycle?”] Pumpetunia asked.

Okay, I have to admit that’s kind of funny.

Twist giggled and got closer. "Me refiero a ti." [“I mean you.”]

"Oh!" Pumpetunia blushed, before letting out a small laugh herself. She stroked down her body, stopping at her shank.

Although not broken it was starting to bend slightly. Pumpetunia frowned and kept stroking it.

"¿Estás bien?" [“Are you okay?”] She asked, softly.

"Huh?" Twist was confused, until she looked where Pumpetunia's hose was.

"Sí, estoy bien... estoy bien…" [“Yeah, I’m fine… I’m fine…”] She quickly reassured her, pulling back slightly.

Pumpetunia was still unsure if she truly was all right, but decided to drop it.

Twist looked over softening slightly when she noticed how tense she looked, and scooted back over to her.

Their blushful faces were touching again. This was the closeness Pumpetunia loved, more than anything…. Well only second to her love for Twist.

GET ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY!

Feelings of fondness flooded through her, as she pushed Twist even closer, making their cheeks touch.

Twist's breath was heavy and warm,-

Okay, it’s time to address something that I really should’ve addressed a long time ago: The tools’ breathing.

The reason I hadn’t commented about it before is simple: This fanfic is based on an animated television series, so it’s reasonable to analyze it using the tropes of animation.

And, in animation, it’s common for characters and entities who really shouldn’t need to breathe to do so anyway, as it makes them more readable to the audience. They’ll pant and gasp when exhausted, not because they need the air, but so people watching the cartoon will immediately and instinctively know that they’re tired.

That’s why I’ve spent most of this review idly tolerating references to the tools breathing or holding their breath. But this… this is just too far. I’ve been pushed too much, and I snapped.

- making Pumpetunia smile slightly. She lifted her hose and turned Twist's face more towards her.

Slowly Pumpetunia leaned in and kissed her deeply. Twist's breathing slowed down as she returned the kiss.

Their lips gently touched as they snuggled each other close.

Tears pricked at Pumpetunia's eyes, as she dropped her pencil to the sidewalk.

Oh thank god it’s over.

"¿Estás bien?" [“Are you okay?”] Felipe asked, worried.

She sighed and shook her head. "No, la extraño." [“No, I miss her.”]

Felipe nuzzled against her in lieu of a hug. "Yo también." [“Me too.”]

"Ah, hey." Kira said, getting their attention. "Great drawings!"

There is absolutely no way she’s telling the truth there.

"Gracias." Felipe sniffled.

"I think the flyers should be done by now." Kira said. "Why don't we go check?"

Felipe nodded, tears sliding down his cheeks.

Lilly held the door for them as they went back inside.

The woman at the counter plopped down a large pile of flyers.

Kira was puzzled when she went over. "Oh, uh, we only ordered ten."

"I know." The woman said, "But I took a looked at your flyers and saw what they were for."

A small frown pursed her lips. "And I'm really sorry about your friend….So I decided to pay for some extra flyers myself to help."

"Oh, thank you!" Felipe said.

"This'll help a lot, thanks." Kira said, grabbing the pile of papers in her arms.

"No problem." The woman said. "If you need more printed, come in and ask for me, Maude."

"Will do!" Lilly said. "Gosh, you've been such a big help, Maude!"

Lemme guess: Maude is actually a minor canon character from Handy Manny that the author is dropping into the story for fanfiction brownie points.

She smiled sweetly. "It's no problem, really. Why don't you hang one in the shop window? Plenty of folks pass by everyday, maybe somebody around here has seen her?"

"Thanks…" Kira said, her voice quiet again.

Lilly grabbed a flyer and some tape off the desk then stuck it to the shop's front window.

"Good luck out there, dears!" Maude called out as they left the store.

Lilly gave her one more enthusiastic wave before they headed out.

"All right." Kira said. "There's a community bulletin board not too far from here, we could start there."

A community… bulletin board? As in an outdoor one?

That thing would be ruined by a minute-and-a-half rainshower.

"Good idea!" Lilly said, grabbing her hand. "Let's go!"

She nearly skipped down the sidewalk, dragging Kira along.

"Hey, wait for us!" Felipe yelled, hopping after them.

"¡Más despacio, por favor!" [“Slow down, please!”] Pumpetunia called out, trying to keep up.

Eventually they stopped in front of a small bulletin board outside the community center. Lilly grabbed one of the free thumbtacks and pinned the flyer up.

Is the community bulletin board under some sort of overhang?

Wait, I forgot that nothing in this story ever gets any sort of physical description so my question isn't going to be answered.

"Perfect!" She said before turning towards the others. "Where should we go next?"

"¿El refugio?" [“The shelter?”] Pumpetunia suggested.

How is it that Pumpetunia “only speaks Spanish”, and yet she’s regularly able to answer Kira and Lilly when they’re talking in English?

"The shelter, that's a great idea!" Felipe said.

"Oh, yeah there's a bulletin board there too." Kira said. "Good idea, Pumpetunia!"

The bike pump smiled, glad she could help. After hanging up a flyer at the shelter, they headed to the garage attached to the side.

"If we grab our bikes, we'll be able to go a lot faster!" Lilly said, grabbing her girlfriend's wrist gently, and leading her towards the bike racks.

The shelter has bike racks? WOW, THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO ESTABLISH BEFOREHAND, AUTHOR.

Also, are we going to have to sit through a pointless scene of Pumpetunia having to inflate one of the girls’ tires?

Lilly put the papers in the front basket before grabbing Felipe and placing him in too. "Perfect!"

"Thanks for the ride." Felipe chuckled.

Kira just stood there awkwardly, before turning towards Felipe. "Can you help me? I wanna ask Pumpetunia if she wants to sit in my basket."

Felipe was about to address Pumpetunia but Kira stopped him. "No…I mean, can you tell me how to ask her in Spanish."

"Oh, you wanna ask her, yourself?"

Kira nodded.

"All right!" Felipe said "Ask her, '¿Quieres sentarte en mi cesta?' "

Kira repeated a few times under her breath. "Okay… I think I got it…."

She turned towards Pumpetunia and asked her, "¿Quieres sentarte en mi cesta?"

I feel that translating that back into English would just be redundant.

"¡Me encantaría!" [“I’d love to!”] She answered, excitedly.

"She said she'd love to!" Felipe translated.

Kira gently picked up Pumpetunia and set her down in the basket. She shifted around slightly, rustling against the paper. "Es muy cómodo aquí." [“It’s very comfortable here.”]

"Are you ready to go?" Lilly asked Kira.

She shook her head as she buckled her helmet. "Now I'm ready."

"Oh my gosh!" Lilly gasped. "I almost forgot my helmet!" She quickly grabbed it and put it on her head. “All right, I’m ready now!”

They biked off, heading to the next location, the ice cream shop. The four of them leaned against the glass window, looking inside.

“Whoa!” Felipe said, his eyes widening in excitement. “Look at all that ice cream!”

Pumpetunia’s stomach growled.

I’d make a “deleting food from existence” joke, but they’ve probably stopped being funny by now.

"¿Tienes hambre?" [“Are you hungry?”] Felipe asked her.

She frowned and nodded.

“What’s wrong?” Kira asked.

“Oh, she’s just hungry.” Felipe said.

“Can you tell me how to tell her not to worry, we’ll eat later?” Kira asked.

"No te preocupes, comeremos más tarde.” [“Don’t worry, we’ll eat later”] Felipe said.

Kira turned to Pumpetunia and repeated what Felipe said.

“Gracias.” Pumpetunia smiled.

“The ice cream looks so good.” Felipe said.

“I knooooow!” Lilly said. “This place has, like, the best ice cream!”

“Maybe when we have some spare change, we can come back here.” Kira said, picking up Pumpetunia, and heading back to her bike.

“Okay!” Felipe smiled, hopping after Lilly to her bike.

Then the four of them headed off, ready to hang more posters.

But you never actually hung one up at the ice cream shop…

(Or maybe you did and the author just forgot to describe it.)

(After a bit of a hiatus, the next part of my review has now been posted!)

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction reivew #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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marsmarvel02 · 1 month

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 35 and 36

So, as it turns out, there are ten more chapters of this fanfic tucked away on ArchiveOfOurOwn.org.

Hoo-ray.

Well, today we're picking up right after Felipe innocently asking Kira about her backstory caused Kira to storm out of the room.

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 35

Kira sat down in the hallway, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to hold back tears. The door to the room creaked open, as Felipe and Pumpetunia hopped out.

That comma is not necessary.

“Kira?” Feliepe asked.

She looked up, sniffling.

“I’m sorry…” Felipe said. “I…I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“...It’s…fine…” Kira sighed. “I…I just needed some air.”

Well, Pumpetunia can help with that! (Sorry, bad joke.)

Pumpetunia put her hose on her shoulder in comfort.

Wow, speak of the devil.

Kira stayed silent for a moment.

“Do you need some alone time?” Felipe asked.

“No…It might be nice to have some company.” Kira said. “I’ve just been through some stuff…and I still need time to like…process it I guess.”

Ah yes, “some stuff”. I hate it when I go through ill-defined “stuff”.

(Yeah, I know it’s not in-character for her to reveal her tragic backstory at the moment, but all this nebulous teasing of it is driving me nuts. And, since we’re talking about tools, bolts too.)

“I understand.” Felipe said, before turning to Pumpetunia and translating for her.

Pumpetunia tightened her hug and gave her a gentle smile.

“....I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it….” Kira said.

“And that’s okay!” Felipe reassured her. “We don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”

Kira smiled slightly. “Thanks guys…”

The three of them sat there in silence for a while, until Kira stood up. “My girlfriend’s coming over soon,”-

Oh jeez, not another romantic subplot.

-”I need to get dressed. I’ll tell you when you can come in.”

Felipe nodded, as Kira went back inside the room. A while later she opened the door and let them back in.

She’d changed into a light sweater, sweatpants, and had her blonde hair up in a bun.

Her hair was blonde this whole time? I’d kinda been picturing her with black hair for some reason.

Anyway, DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTERS WHEN YOU INTRODUCE THEM, AUTHOR!

“We’re going to have breakfast at the diner down the street. Do you want me to ask her if you guys can come?”

Felipe smiled. “That sounds great!” He turned to Pumpetunia and asked her.

“Oh, sí!” She said.

Wait…

If Pumpetunia only speaks Spanish, then why is her name a portmanteau of an English word and a given name that originated in England? Shouldn’t it be some sort of pun on “bomba de aire”, which is what Spanish-speaking people call air pumps?

Kira finished up the sunrise drawing in her sketchbook and shut it, before placing it back on her bed.

A bit later there was a knock on the door, and Kira hopped off the bed and opened it. A girl about her age pulled her into a tight hug.

Aaand we’re not going to be getting any better description of this “girl about her age”, are we?

“Hey Kira!” She greeted her excitedly.

“Hey Lilly.” She replied, her voice still kind of low, before pulling back. “I got some new roommates.”

Kira turned around and gestured towards the two tools. “Lilly, meet Felipe and Pumpetunia.”

“Hello!” Felipe said.

“Hola!” Pumpetunia waved her hose in greeting.

“Oh!” Lilly seemed surprised. “They’re tools?”

“Sí.” Felipe said, hopping over to her. “I’m a Phillips Head Screwdriver, and Pumpetunia is a bike pump!”

Can’t Lilly, you know, see that?

Pumpetunia nodded and went over to her. “"Encantada de conocerte!” [“”Nice to meet you!”]

Instead of the Spanish inverted exclamation point, the author accidentally put in a second quotation mark.

And that was possibly the weirdest grammatical error you’ll see today.

“She said it’s nice to meet you!” Felipe translated.

Lilly leaned down to both their levels. “Well, it’s nice to meet you too! I’ve never met tools before….Well, like ones that are alive I mean. I’m sorry, that isn’t rude is it?” She started stumbling over her words.

“No, no it’s fine.” Felipe reassured her. “Not everyone is used to seeing us.”

“It’s okay Lilly.” Kira said, stroking her hair in comfort. “They’re both really nice.”

“Sorry…” Lilly said, sounding a bit embarrassed. “It’s nice to meet you….Oh I said that already, didn’t I? Sorry.”

Oh my god you’re annoying.

“It’s okay.” Felipe said.

“So uh, breakfast?” Lilly asked, still sounding slightly awkward.

“Sounds good to me.” Kira said, grabbing her purse.

“Oh! Do you guys wanna come with us?” Lilly asked.

“Sure!” Felipe said, before translating for Pumpetunia.

“All right!” Lilly smiled as she went over to the door. “Let's go!”

“Let’s plunk around for a chapter or two and delete some matter from existence!”

Chapter 36

The group headed to a small diner just down the street, and smushed together into a booth.

Lilly and Kira both grabbed a menu, while Felipe and Pumpetunia shared a menu.

“All of this looks so good!” Lilly said. “I don’t know what to order!”

“Me neither…” Kira said, scanning the menu.

Felipe and Pumpetunia looked over theirs, trying to decide what to get.

Pumpetunia pointed her hose at something.

“Oh, panqueques?” -

Yes, that’s really how Spanish-speakers spell “pancakes”.

- Felipe asked. “Suena bueno para mi!” [“Sounds good to me!”]

“I think I’ll get the waffles.” Lilly decided. She looked over at Kira and gently grabbed her hand.

“What about you?”

“I think I’ll get the omelet…” Kira said, folding the menu back up and placing it back on the table.

“Good choice!” Lilly said, giving her hand a squeeze. She looked at Felipe and Pumpetunia. “What did you two decide on?”

“We’re getting the pancakes!” Felipe said.

“Oh nice! It’s kinda like what I’m getting….Kinda…” She giggled. “Except mine’s shaped like a square and yours is uh…a circle…or an oval in some cases!”

Why do you think that they don’t know what waffles are?

Also, in my experience, pancakes are more lumpy than either a circle or an oval. Although that might just be from my dad’s “cooking skills”.

“Not exactly.” Felipe said. “Waffle batter has more sugar and oil in it.”

“Oh…” Lilly looked down at the table awkwardly.

“Oh, no, it’s okay!” Felipe said. “I’m sorry, I…I was just trying to make conversation….”

Weirdest attempt to “make conversation” ever.

“No, no it’s okay.” Lilly said. “Sometimes I just overthink things, I know I shouldn’t but….I…I don’t know. I think it might just be an anxiety thing.”

“No, I understand.” He tried to reassure her. “I get anxious too.”

“You do?”

Felipe nodded. “It’s okay to be anxious sometimes.”

//Groan…//

Pumputenia looked over at Felipe, and asked what they were talking about. He explained to her, and she softened slightly.

She scooted closer to Lilly and smiled gently. “Yo también me pongo ansiosa" [“I get anxious too”]

JUST. STOP. TALKING!

“She said she gets anxious too.” Felipe translated.

"Estoy preocupado por mi novia" [“I’m worried about my girlfriend”] Pumpetunia sighed.

[“And my missing punctuation. Has anyone seen the periods from my last two sentences?”]

“She said she misses her girlfriend.” Felipe frowned.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Lilly frowned.

“We’ve been looking for her.” Felipe explained. “That’s why we're out here….”

“Maybe we could make posters to find her.” Lilly suggested. “What does she look like? Maybe Kira could make some drawings of her!”

But that would require them to describe Twist to her, and you know the author can’t handle descriptions!

Felipe’s eyes widened in excitement as he turned to Kira. “Could,,,could you do that?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah I could do that.” Kira said, smiling gently. She reached into her bag and pulled out her sketchbook and pencil.

You’re actually going to attempt this, author?

Oh boy, this’ll be GREAT!

"¿Que esta pasando?" [“What’s going on?”] Pumpetunia asked.

“Estamos haciendo carteles para encontrar a Twist" [“We’re making posters to find Twist.”]

"¿Realmente?" [“Really?”] She asked.

Felipe nodded and tilted his head towards Kira

"¡Oh gracias!" Pumpetunia said.

“So, what’s her name?” Kira asked.

I’d complain, but I checked the story and Kira actually did manage to go until now without finding out Twist’s name.

“Twist.” Felipe said.

“Twist….” Kira said, writing her name on the top of the paper. “What does she look like?”

“Oh, she’s yellow like me, but a darker yellow, and the band on her handle is blue. She recently had an accident and her blade is bent to the right.”

Um, when Twist was introduced, her blade was bent to the left.

I know this is just authorial stupidity, but it does create in my mind the idea of Twist going through various Looney Tunes-esque attempts to straighten out her blade, only for the last attempt to work a bit too well and kink her blade to the left.

Kira started sketching from Felipe’s description. “Anything else?”

“Uh, I’ll see if Pumpetunia has anything to add.” He turned towards her and asked.

“"Una sonrisa bonita" [“A beautiful smile”]

Oh look, the Spanish word for “smile” looks like the English word “sunrise”. SYMBOLISM!

(Also, there’s that extra quotation mark again.)

“A beautiful smile.”

I have to admit, though, this joke is actually pretty fu-

“Right, beautiful smile….” Kira said, adding onto the drawing.

IT WASN’T A JOKE?!

"Y grandes hoyuelos" [“And big dimples”]

I remember the time in Biology class we had to do an assignment on genetic traits, and part of the assignment involved taking a list of various traits and writing down if we had them or not.

And one of the traits was dimples. And, according to our teacher, some people can have dimples that aren't visible unless they're making certain facial expressions.

“And large dimples!”

Cue a classroom full of students making bizarre faces into various reflective surfaces and/or their phone cameras, loudly asking “DO I HAVE DIMPLES??”

“Large…dimples…” Kira repeated.

Pumpetunia continued describing Twist.

“And the paint on her cheeks is chipped in a way that it looks like she has freckles!” Felipe translated.

So these living tools can have dimples just because, but instead of just having freckles they have to have “paint chipped in a way that it looks like [they] have freckles”? Writer, can we please have some consistency in the living tool logic?

“....Freckles…” Kira repeated. “And that should do it!”

She held up the paper to both of them. “Does this look like her.”

“Oh dang, where’d I put my question mark…”

“It’s perfect!” Felipe said.

Pumpetunia stroked the picture and sighed slightly. “La extraño.” [“I miss her.”]

“After breakfast we can head to the copyshop, and then hang the flyers around town.” Kira said, closing her sketchbook. “Sound good?”

“Sounds good to me!” Felipe said, before turning to Pumpetunia to ask her opinion.

"¡Eso suena genial!" [“That sound great!”] She agreed.

“She thinks it’s a great idea.” Felipe said.

“Great!” Lilly said. “Now let's order, I'm starving!

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction review #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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#rebloggin'#funny #oh man that pun...

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So, I played Princess Peach: Showtime! last night, and I have some thoughts.

Warning: Spoilers for the entirety of Floor 1 under the cut.

Opening

Wow, the music is good.

I love Grape's design! So... unique!

Grape's name, however, is ... ehh. It could be worse, but I'd still prefer something a bit more intimidating.

Why does Stella have to make crying baby noises when she's upset? It makes it hard to take her seriously and it's honestly just really grating to listen to.

Stella's design, while not the worst thing in the world, just seems a bit... off to me. I can't place it, but something about her just looks... weird.

Why is light magic named "Sparkle"? It just sounds a bit... goofy.

Swordfighter-1

Wow, the loading times for levels are... a bit much.

Why does the "level loading" music have to have that long, low horn that sounds almost exactly like the noise older Nintendo games make when they crash? The first time I heard it, I freaked because I thought there was something wrong with my copy of the game.

Why did they make B the action button and A the jump button? In every other game I've played, B is jump! That button switch has actually made me die a few times in a later level, and generally made me bad at parts that require jumping with quick reflexes.

Wow, this game IS easy.

The pre-transformation sections of levels where you just run around swinging your ribbon at stuff are honestly kinda boring.

Oh man, Swordfighter Peach looks AWESOME!

Again, the game is still really easy, but blasting your way through hordes of Sour Bunch members makes you feel INCREDIBLY powerful.

And I love the acrobatic and flashy dodges too.

Why does the very imposing knight with the hammer go down in one hit? Seriously, all you need to do is jump over his shockwave once and oop, down he goes.

The end boss is CRAZY! Who'd've thought that a Mario (spinoff) game would have you fight a giant killer plant that ISN'T a piranha plant! Also, wow, this random spinoff gets original bosses and Mario Wonder doesn't.

Jokes aside, though, I love the thorny flower bud boss. Does it have a name?

Ninja-1

Normally stealth levels in games are the ones that everybody hates, but honestly this one is GREAT!

Again, the game is still pretty easy, but stealth-attacking enemies and taking them out in one hit also feels POWERFUL.

I love how the guards can't tell where Peach is when she has a freakin' SPOTLIGHT shining on her. Or when she's pressed up against a wall and her GIANT YELLOW PONYTAIL is sticking up above her camo paper.

Why does being spotted make Peach turn into a log and then teleport to just before whatever stealth section you failed? I mean, I get sending you back to try again, but what's with the log? Is it a reference to some ninja trope I'm not familiar with?

Oh man, the chase sequence is SUPERB. Especially the wallrunning bits, and

When the enemy drops one of the scrolls, and Peach somehow uses it to summon a giant wave to ride. It makes no sense, but it's FRICKIN AWESOME.

Honestly, I'd really like it if the wave chase had ended with the enemy dropping a second scroll, and Peach using it to summon another crazy setpiece. (Hey, I just realized, that wave is a "dramatic setpiece" both in-universe and in the video game sense.)

Patissiere-1

Once again, the section before the transformation is... rather slow.

Honestly, I was expecting this to be the "annoying gimmicky minigame level", but I'm pleasantly surprised. It's a gimmicky minigame level, sure, but not an annoying one.

While getting above the minimum required to advance in the cake-decorating and cookie minigames wasn't too hard, I can see that I'll have my work cut out for me when I come back to get all the Sparkle Gems.

This isn't too bad, but it's annoying how in the cookie minigame there isn't any visual indicator that you're about to overmix something.

Cowgirl-1

One word: AWESOME!

Again, the ease at which you can lasso enemies and throw them around makes you feel powerful.

Oh, and that barrel-throwing fight sequence manages to simultaneously be both awesome and hilarious. I don't know why, it's just funny in the best way.

Crazy Thought: Cowgirl Peach tests her barrel-lassoing skills against Donkey Kong.

That horse chase sequence is pretty fun, but it's also where I died a few times because I lassoed when I meant to jump.

And, to top it all off, the boss fight against the leader of the robbers is epic. My only disappointment is that, when he's charging around the arena after you, you can't matador him into those piles of gem boxes landing the first hit revealed. I understand why you can't, but I still wish you could.

Floor 1/First Main Boss

It appears that Peach understands as much as I do that, while forcing open the door that's obviously full of dark magic might be a bad idea, it's also the only way to progress the game.

I'm not sure what to think about the fact that you need Sparkle Gems to open the Spooky Floating Door. I mean, the cost was low enough that it wasn't a problem for me, but I could see it frustrating someone who isn't very good at the game (especially since doors on later floors will probably use the same mechanic), and speedrunners are probably going to HATE it.

Why is the evil version of Sparkle named "Darkle"? It just sounds stupid.

WE'RE FIGHTING A GIANT DISCO CHICKEN!

Oh man, Disco Wing is awesome. Especially the part where THE GRAVITY FRIGGIN' FLIPS UPSIDE DOWN!

It's funny how the only time Disco Wing does that giant rolling attack is when the arena has been changed in a way that makes it possible for Peach to dodge it. Disco Wing, you could've won easily if you'd just done that attack a few times at the start of the fight!

Crazy Thought: Disco Wing meets Hole Punch from Paper Mario: The Origami King.

NINTENDO, I WANNA REFIGHT THE DISCO CHICKEN! LET ME REFIGHT THE DISCO CHICKEN!

So, after fighting Disco Wing I finally checked out the dress shop, and THERE'S A DISCO DRESS! That is DEFINITELY what I'm wearing for the rest of the game (or at least until beating the next floor boss unlocks another crazy dress pattern.)

Disco Wing's boss theme wasn't very disco-y for some rea- WAIT, I JUST CHECKED THE OFFICLIAL SOUNDTRACK AND ALL THE MAIN BOSSES HAVE THE SAME THEME?! Nintendo, WHY??! Now I won't be able to hear Juno Songs make covers for each individual boss!

In conclusion, Showtime! is definitely a straight A of a game so far. If it keeps on being as good as it was, I might even consider pushing its grade up to an A+.

#princess peach showtime #princess peach: showtime!

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marsmarvel02 · 1 month

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapter 34

Here it is, readers.

The last chapter of “What Manny Can’t Fix” as it currently exists.

Honestly, I’m a bit worried about this one. Because, well… Felipe’s story doesn’t conclude. It just… ends. Cuts off. Abruptly, in a way that makes it clear that the author planned to write more but never bothered to.

And because of that… I’m not sure if I can bring this review to a satisfying conclusion. If I can make it feel finished.

This is only the third review I’ve ever written, and it’s the most ambitious by far.

Sometimes, writing this, I feel like I’ve gotten myself in too deep. As if I’ve overreached my skill level.

As if the writing in my review isn’t any better than the writing in what I’m mocking.

Am I just a hypocrite, trying to make myself feel superior?

Chapter 34

Trigger Warning For Next Few Chapters: Mentions of Abuse, Homophobia, and Depression

“Next Few Chapters”. Pah.

The next morning, the girl was up before Felipe and Pumpetuina were.

When Felipe awoke, he saw her sitting by the window with a sketchbook in her lap. He slipped out of Pumpetunia’s grip and hopped over to the girl.

“Good morning!” Felipe greeted, startling her, and making her almost drop her sketchbook, before looking over at him.

I would love to see the look on her face when Felipe jumpscared her.

Or have it be described better. That would work too.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Felipe apologized.

“No, no it’s okay…” The girl said, her voice quiet. “I just didn’t know anyone else was up…”

Felipe hopped onto the window sill and looked outside.

“Oh, the sunrise is beautiful!” Felipe said.

She nodded. “Every morning I get up early and draw the sunrise.” Then she turned the notebook towards Felipe to show her his work in progress drawing.

Did the author just pick “sunrises” off a list of “things with potential symbolic significance to include in your story”?

“That looks amazing!” Felipe said.

The girl’s cheeks flushed red. “Thank you….”

“Oh, I don’t think we were properly introduced yesterday. My name’s Felipe!”

“I’m Kira.”

Oh, so that’s your name.

“And that’s my friend Pumpetunia.” Felipe said, pointing his head towards the bed where she was still sleeping.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Kira said, grabbing a red colored pencil and continuing her drawing. “Sorry I really didn’t say hi yesterday….I’m just….kind of shy around new people.”

“No, no, it’s okay, I understand.” Felipe said.

The two of them sat there, while Kira kept working on her sunrise. “So….Why did you come here?” She paused for a moment and quickly added, “If you don’t wanna talk about it though, I understand.”

“We’re looking for my sister.” Felipe sighed.

Kira frowned and put her hand on his back, well as much as she could on a screwdriver.-

Now there’s a funny mental image.

- “What happened to her?”

“She ran away.” Felipe sniffled. “I….I don’t know why…or…or where she is.”

Kira paused for a second. “Do you…want a hug?”

PAHAHAHA!

“...That would be nice…”

Kira picked up Felipe and held him close to her chest, in a tight, firm, hug. He relaxed almost immediately in her arms, and ended up dozing off slightly.

YOU WERE JUST ASLEEP! YOU SHOULDN’T NEED TO NAP MORE!

He only woke up when he heard Kira coloring the picture in her sketchbook, where she was adding orange highlights around the sun.

“That looks nice….” He said.

“Thanks…” Kira said, her voice still low.

“So….Why are you here?” Felipe asked.

Kira froze, her pencil mid stroke. “I….” She set Felipe down, and stood up.

“I have a nebulously-defined tragic backstory that will be vaguely alluded to but never properly explained, so I can garner as much sympathy as possible from the audience.”

Kiara exhaled deeply before heading towards the door, and pausing for a moment.

“Kira?” Felipe asked, sounding worried.

She opened the door, walked into the hallway, and slammed the door shut.

The loud bang woke Pumpetunia up, and she looked around, puzzled. "¿Qué pasó?" [“What happened?”]

"No sé..." [“I don’t know”] Felipe said, his stomach starting to churn.-

Come on! How hard is it to say “the girl we’re with closed the door too hard when she left”?!

-Did I say something wrong.

Well, you did forget a question mark.

And that was Chapter 34. The last chapter of “What Manny Can’t Fix”. What a disappointing ending.

I’m sorry that I can’t bring this to a satisfying conclusion, but my annotation and accompaniment is just not powerful enough to turn this subdominant into a tonic.

Huh? What’s that you-?

Wait, what the-?!

THERE’S TEN MORE CHAPTERS OF THIS FANFIC ON ARCHIVEOFOUROWN?!

I can’t believe it!

Well, come back next time for the continuation of this review!

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction reivew #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 32 and 33

Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.

Last time, Felipe and Pumpetunia set off to look for Twist, and after a day of fruitless searching ended up deciding to stay the night in a "Refugio". Now, three chapters from the end... much pointlessness and plunking ensues.

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 32

I guess that, before I start this chapter, I should make something clear.

This fanfic as it currently exists ends before Felipe’s story is over. There is no satisfying (well, as satisfying as this mediocre author can muster) conclusion, no proper resolution. It just… cuts off, two chapters from now.

And, even though I know that the author obviously planned to write more and didn’t intend for this to be near the end, it still deeply enrages a part of me that we’re two chapters from the end…

Pumpetunia slowly opened her eyes to a blinding light. She could just barely make out a silhouette in the distance. “Twist?”

AND WE’RE STILL WASTING TIME WITH LOUSY DREAM SEQUENCES!

The silhouette giggled slightly and made their way over.

Also, “silhouette” with no qualifiers to say what it’s shaped like or what it might be a silhouette of could quite possibly be the most unspecific description ever conceived.

Pumpetunia’s eyes widened in joy as she saw her girlfriend come into view. Unable to contain her excitement, she ran over and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Mi amor.” [“My love.”] Pumpetunia sighed happily, pulling her even closer. “Te extrañé.” [“I missed you.”]

“Yo también.” [“Me too.”] Twist said, kissing her cheek.

Pumpetunia told herself she’d never let go of her again. Twist wouldn’t run away again...never….

There was a bright flash out of the corner of her eye. When Pumpetunia looked over, she saw a window.

Wow, what brilliant symbolism! Twist ran away by jumping out of a window, so in this dream sequence Pumpetunia’s loss of Twist will be represented by Twist jumping out of a window! Genius!

Twist’s attention immediately turned towards it, her focus only on the window. Slowly, she pulled back from Pumpetunia, staring at it.

This is like if the Brave Little Toaster’s nightmare had just had the Young Master plop down a “FOR SALE” sign and then jump into a car and ride away.

“Twist…” Pumpetunia whimpered out, reaching out towards her again.

Twist took a step towards the window.

“No….” Pumpetunia said. “Twist!”

Twist however seemed almost hypnotized by the window. She kept making her way towards it, farther and farther away from her.

The light became brighter and brighter before it engulfed Twist….and she was gone...again….

“No!” Pumpetunia cried out. “No!”

Pumpetunia cried as she ran over to where Twist stood. The light faded, and only the window remained.

She pushed against it, trying to get through, but it refused to budge. Determined to get her girlfriend back, Pumpetunia pulled back and rammed into the window.

The glass shattered, and Pumpetunia laid on the ground, surrounded by the shards.

And then she woke up, and found that she’d fallen out of bed!

As she tried to get up, she groaned weakly. In the distance she could see Twist’s silhouette again.

Here’s a thought: What if Pumpetunia landed in one of the garbage cans we know are below the “real” window that this dream-window represents, and was then carted away in a garbage truck to a horrid junkyard, where gets stuck on a conveyor belt and wakes up just as the press of the car crusher is about to slam down on her?

It’s a first draft of an idea, sure, but it’s still better than what we actually got.

Pumpetunia tried to force herself up, but fell again. Slowly the silhouette got smaller and smaller, as Twist escaped in another flash of light.

Chapter 33

Felipe slowly opened his eyes. In front of him was Twist, standing in a pile of glass, her eyes empty.

ANOTHER DREAM SEQUENCE?!

"Twist!" He called in out, running towards her. "Twist!"

I have often gotten in trouble for calling “in out” in class.

The closer Felipe got the farther away she was.

Ah yes, dreams and their non-Euclidean ways.

"Twist!" He panted as he tried in vain to keep up with him.

As she faded from view, a new figure took her place…. Pumpetunia….

Wait.

She laid there in a pile of broken glass, crying out Twist's name quietly into the ground.

How the heck are you two having the same dream?!

"Pumpetunia…." Felipe said.

She looked up, her eyes teary and bloodshot.

Oh my god these tools have blood now.

Felipe grabbed her hose and pulled her up, hugging her close. "No te preocupes, la encontraremos." [“Don’t worry, we’ll find her.”]

She wrapped her hose around him and gave him a tight squeeze.

They had each other and they'd find her.

But where to start? Where could she be?

Well, thank you for that chapter and a half of nothing but pointless dream-recap of what’s happened so far.

Felipe woke up to Pumpetunia sitting on the edge of the bed.

He went over and sat beside her. "¿No puedes dormir?" [“Can’t sleep?”]

No, she just was asleep, you… ARRGH!

She shook her head and sighed. It was obvious she was thinking the same thing Felipe was.

Felipe leaned against her and let her wrap her hose around him.

On the other bed the girl was fast asleep.

Hey, are we going to get to actually learn the girl’s name before this story ends?

(In fact, as you can see in the final part of my review, we do.)

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction review #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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I see Bowyer's hair has evolved to be full-on hammerspace for Aeros... (and a Jabit XD)

Poor Jabit (and Speardovich).

#rebloggin'#super mario rpg #smrpg #smithy gang

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marsmarvel02 · 1 month

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 30 and 31

Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.

Last time, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, Iron Grip turned out to have really been Rusty all along. Today, Rusty's story having ended, we're picking up with the story of Felipe. Oh, and may I remind you that this fanfic as it currently exists is only 34 chapters long?

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 30

Wait, why is the part heading after the chapter heading? That makes no sense.

Part 3: Felipe

Also, as this new part is starting all of five chapters before the end of what currently exists for this fanfic, don’t expect the plot to be done by the time this review serial ends.

"¿Pumpetunia, Qué quieres decir con que se ha ido?" [“Pumpetunia, what do you mean she’s gone?”] A young, yellow screwdriver asked a bike pump.

Oh joy. Pumpetunia’s back.

Pumpetunia frowned and shook her head. "Ella acaba de irse, Felipe." [“She just left, Felipe”]

So Twist’s brother is Felipe. Gee, it’s not like that was obvious or anything.

Felipe sighed. I have to find her…..

This has some interesting implications for the timeline of this fanfic: Turner’s part happens when Manny is a child, Rusty’s happens while Manny’s is a teenager, and now Felipe’s part is starting on the day Twist left, which would put it an unspecified amount of time before Turner’s part.

He hopped onto the table below the window and started to push it open.

Let’s see… At minimum, Twist would have to have been in Teeth’s gang for at least a year, since in Turner’s part she mentions that they nearly froze the previous winter... and she would’ve probably been on the streets by herself for at least a little time before joining Teeth's gang, so… hmm…

Pumpetunia's eyes widened. "¿Adónde vas?" [“Where are you going?”]

Wait, I had a realization completely unrelated to this fanfic’s timeline.

Felipe sighed and looked her in the eyes.

When Pumpetunia appeared in Twist’s flashback, anything she (or Twist, for that matter) said in Spanish was preceded or immediately followed by a bit of narration explaining what had been said.

But now in Part 3 there’s just Spanish dialogue with no in-story translation.

"Para encontrar a mi hermana." [“To find my sister.”] He said, opening the window slightly more.

Which raises a bit of a question: If the author believes that the audience can and will happily just Google Translate all of the Spanish terms, why did they bother adding those redundant explanations?

The bike pump panicked slightly and wrapped her hose around the screwdriver, causing him to let out a small yelp.

Contrarialy, if they added the explanations because they didn’t think readers would enjoy having to Google Translate bits of dialogue, why are there now no explanations?

She pulled Felipe into a tight hug, holding him close, tears forming in her eyes.

And, since writing the dialogue in English but using a bit of formatting to indicate “hey, these characters are really speaking Spanish” is an option the author explicitly stated that they would use in the story, why not just do that?

"No…" Pumpetunia whimpered out. "No, tu también." [“Not you, too…”]

Felipe frowned and wiped the tears from her eyes. Está bien…." [Alright…“]

“¿Y has visto mis otras comillas?” [“And have you seen my other quotation mark?”]

As he comforted her, his eyes wandered back to the half open window.

Twist….. I have to find her …

Felipe gave Pumpetunia a gentle nuzzled before pulling back from her.

Ah yes, a gentle nuzzled.

He hopped back onto the table and explained he needed to find his sister, that he'd bring her back for the both of them.

Felipe pushed on the window more. Before he could open it all the way, Pumpetunia grabbed him again.

Felipe looked at her, noticing how serious she looked.

"Voy contigo." [“I’m with you.”] She said, pulling herself into the table too.

She wants to come with? Felipe hesitated. He wasn't sure if it would be safe out there and didn't want to risk putting a friend in danger.

Is shortening “come with me” to “come with” a regional expression of wherever the author is from, or is it just some more bad grammar?

….But she is Twist's girlfriend….. She's probably just as worried about her as I am….

Felipe sighed in defeat and forced a small smile. He nodded slightly before pushing the window open all the way.

He and Pumpetunia hopped onto the window sill and looked down.

That's quite a jump…. Felipe gulped.

Noticing his anxiety, Pumpetunia wrapped her hose around him, and gently placed him on the ground.

Just how long is her hose?

"Gracias!" Felipe called up to her.

"De nada." [“You’re welcome”] She gripped the lid of a nearby garbage can and made her way down.

The two of them hurried off, in search of Twist.

Chapter 31

Felipe and Pumpetunia made their way through the streets, calling out her name.

"Twist! Twist! Dónde estás!?" [“Twist! Twist! Where are you!?”]

Felipe sighed, leaning against a trashcan.

Pumpetunia joined him and gently wrapped her hose around him. "¿Estás bien?" [“Are you okay?”]

Felipe shook his head. "No….."

Pumpetunia frowned and tried her best to comfort Felipe, reassuring him they'd find Twist.

And the author said, implicitly, “I’m too lazy to Google Translate up some Spanish, and I’m even too lazy to use the formatting I established would mean ‘these characters are really speaking Spanish even though this text is English’.”

He pulled back and took a step forward, exhaling deeply.

Twist was out there somewhere, and he and Pumpetunia were determined to find her no matter what.

It's just that knowing where to start was the hardest part.

Right now, it was just two tools running down the sidewalk, calling out her name in vain.

Felipe forced any doubt of finding her out of his mind, and just kept going.

Besides it wasn't so bad when he had company. He glanced back at Pumpetunia.

Besides, comma, it wasn’t so bad when he had company.

What would I do without her?

Gee, I can’t wait for that question to inevitably be answered!

Felipe yawned, exhausted from a day of searching. Soon they'd have to find a place to rest for the night.

"¿Que tal aquí?" [“How about here?”] Pumpetunia asked, stopping in front of a building.

Wait, did he say that soon they’d have to find a rest for the night? No? Well, I guess Pumpetunia just read his mind then.

Felipe looked at the sign on the front: Refugio [“Refuge”, a rather unsurprising translation]

A shelter? That sounds promising. Maybe Twist could be here too!

Yes, Twist will definitely be in the first place you look that isn’t just “the streets”. Especially since we’re only two chapters into Felipe’s part and one chapter into the actual search.

The thought made Felipe excited and he nearly ran inside, Pumpetunia trailing behind.

Felipe looked around and saw a front desk. He and Pumpetunia made there way over.

THEIR!

The receptionist looked up from her papers and blinked when she saw two tools standing in front of her.

"¿Puedo ayudarte?" [“I can help?”] She asked, slightly awkwardly.

She’s probably supposed to be saying “Can I help you?”, but Google Translate is, naturally, being phutzy about it.

"Sí." Pumpetunia said. "Nosotras necesitamos una habitación." [“We need a room.”]

The woman looked through the papers, looking for an empty room. While all of them were occupied, there was still a room with additional space.

The receptionist lead them to a room and knocked on the door

Slowly the door creeked open and a teenage girl anxiously peered out.

Ah yes, a door that creeks like a river.

(Sorry, that was bad.)

"Y...yes?" The girl squeaked out.

"You've got roommates now." The receptionist said.

Nothing good can ever follow the line “You’ve got roomates now.”

The girl looked down and gave the tools a small wave. "H...hello…"

"Hello! I'm Felipe and this is my friend Pumpetunia!"

"Hola!" Pumpetunia said, waving her hose in greeting.

"Are you fine with them staying here?" The receptionist asked.

The girl nodded slightly, opening the door a bit more to let them in.

Felipe and Pumpetunia entered the small room and looked around.

There were two beds in the room and it was pretty spacious.

Felipe and Pumpetunia made their way to the unoccupied bed.

The girl sat on her bed and opened up a sketchbook and began drawing.

"Esto es bueno." [“This is good”] Felipe said, snuggling into the blankets. "Y cómodo." [“And comfortable”]

Pumpetunia smiled a bit and joined him under the blanket.

As exhausted as Felipe was, she quickly fell asleep.

So how does Felipe’s exhaustion make Pumpetunia fall asleep quicker- oh, you mean “She was as exhausted as Felipe was, so she quickly fell asleep.”

Write unambiguously, author!

(My review of the next two chapters has now been posted!)

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction review #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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marsmarvel02 · 1 month

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 28 and 29

Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix", a Handy Manny fanfic that- dare I say it- is just not very good.

Last time, we saw Carrie discover that Iron Grip was missing on the day of their wedding, and Iron Grip escape from the Pet Store Of Doom. Now today,- I can't believe I'm writing this this soon- we'll be wrapping up Part 2 of "What Manny Can't Fix".

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 28

Iron Grip slowly opened his eyes to a teenager with a blue screwdriver sitting on his shoulder.

So Manny is a teenager now? Interesting time skip.

"I uh...I...I'm…."

".... You're rusty." The screwdriver finished.

"Turner!" The teenager scolded

"What, he is!"

“I don’t care! One more outburst like that and you’re banned from Pet Parrot Position!”

Iron Grip shivered anxiously. "I...I just….I...I don't…."

The teenager knelt down and gently stroked Iron Grip's cheek. "Hey, it's okay….Are you alone?"

Too anxious to speak, he just nodded.

"You can stay with us if you want." He replied, softly.

Once again, he’s inviting some random stranger to come live in his house. I’m sure //checks notes, and sees at this point in the story’s timeline Manny would probably be living with Abuelito// his grandpa would be thrilled.

Iron Grip's eyes lit up. "R-really?"

"Of course." He said, picking him up.

Iron Grip felt a feeling of warmth fill his body. It was like a calming presence fell over him.

The power of a Canon Purity Sue!

When he looked over at Turner, the mood completely shifted. He could sense a cold, untrusting, feeling coming from him.

The screwdriver leaned closer to the teenager, eyeing Iron Grip with narrowed eyes.

Finally Turner spoke again, "He's still rusted."

"Turner…." He warned again before looking back at the monkey wrench. "I can get you cleaned up when we get home."

"H...home?" Iron Grip squeaked out.

"Yeah, home. You know, the place you live?" Turner replied.

Iron Grip avoided eye contact and looked at the sidewalk.

The teenager stroked Iron Grip's head in comfort. "Don't mind Turner, he….he's just a little grumpy, sometimes."

Turner glared a bit, but decided not to say anything.

"I'm Manny. What's your name?"

Iron Grip looked up to make eye contact with Manny, but instead he met Turner's cold glare.

All he could focus on was what Turner had said to him.

" You're rusty."

"......Rusty….." He said, dryly.

Ooookay. It’s not like this random, out-of-nowhere name change would be roughly equivalent to a human character renaming themselves Eczema or something!

"Rusty?" Manny asked.

"What an appropriate name." Turner muttered under his breath.

The Monkey Wrench cringed slightly before looking At Manny again. After a moment of thought, he nodded slightly. "Y..yeah...Rusty…"

Random capital letters and a double space? Wow, writer, you’ve outdone yourself!

As Manny headed back to the house, Rusty calmed down in his gentle grip.

When they got inside, Manny grabbed a bucket of soapy water and a rag. He placed Rusty into the bucket and started scrubbing him.

Ah yes. He got all rusted by getting wet, so clearly the way to remove the rust is with more water! Gee, I didn’t know rust in the Handy Manny universe followed “TV amnesia” logic.

Although the rag was old and rugged, Rusty could only feel calm. As the rust was scrubbed off, he relaxed into the tub of water.

I’m not sure what’s worse- that the author tried tautologically to describe a rag as “ragged”, or that they then misspelled “ragged” as “rugged”.

It was almost like the past was being scraped away. For a moment he wasn't thinking about Carrie, Wisp or the garage. His mind was only focused on the warm water swirling around him.

Manny pulled him out of the water and dried him off. Rusty snuggled into the towel, feeling warm and safe.

"There we go." Manny said, placing him in front of a handheld mirror. "Well, what do you think?"

Rusty clenched his eyes shut, afraid to look at himself. I can't look...I'm hideous! I know I'm going to look ugly! I...I can't do this…...I...I…

"Well, are you going to open your eyes or not?" Turner asked.

….No...I...I have to do this...I need to...move on ..

Slowly, Rusty opened his eyes and faced the mirror. To his surprise, he wasn't covered in rust anymore.

Wow, how shocking. Manny cleaned the rust off him, and now he’s not rusty anymore. What a plot twist.

However, instead of his silver finish, he was now stained a bright orange.

I don’t actually know this conclusively, but the instincts imbued in me by my chemist father are screaming “BS”.

Hey….I don't look that bad….

He looked over at Manny and smiled softly, his eyes filling with tears. "Thanks Manny."

"No problem." He said with a small smile, picking him up. "Welcome home, Rusty."

You’d think that, with Rusty now having his “home” with Manny, Part 2 would be over.

Unfortunately, you would be wrong.

Chapter 29

Carrie hadn't left the toolbox since the day she was left at the altar.

I’m pleasantly surprised that the author bothered to follow up on this loose end, although unfortunately all this part actually does is make Rusty seem even more like a heartless jerk than he already does.

She laid there, her veil still on her head, breath unsteady.

Worried, Shock checked on her often.

"Hey, Carrie….How are you feeling?" She asked softly.

Gee, it’s not like the answer is so blatantly obvious that that question shouldn’t even need asking…

Carrie glanced at her before looking back at the bottom of the box again.

"Do you need some company?" She asked. "Or do you want to be alone?"

Carrie reached out and held onto her, signaling she wanted her to stay.

Reached out with… what? Toolikinesis?

Shock snuggled against her side and sat there with her. "I'm here...I'm here for you...it's okay….it's okay…."

Carrie lifted her head and looked at her with tear stained eyes, a small smile managing to form on her face.

"The...thank you…" She choked out, her voice was hoarse and low.

That’s technically accurate to the phonetics of someone stuttering “Th-thank you”, but somehow it still seems… wrong.

"Of course." Shock said, pulling her closer. "I'll always be here for you."

Unlike Iron Grip…. Carrie thought, laying closer.

"Anne wants to know if you want to work today or not." Shock said

Carrie sniffled and shook her head.

"It's okay…" Shock said. "She said you can take your time…."

Carrie laid down again, disassociating. Her whole world was a blur, there's no way she could work like this.

Carrie closed her eyes again and leaned against Shock, falling into another long nap.

At that moment, the radio of Anne’s latest repair job -some kind of bizarre limo with horns as a hood ornament and a paint job that straddled the line between yellow and beige- unexpectedly burst to life and began to play, at a volume that made Carrie jolt upright and Shock jump several inches into the air, a strange rock song which neither of them- nor Anne, nor Wisp- had ever heard before.

“Once took a Texan to a wedding

Once took a Texan to a wedding

But he kept forgetting

His loneliness letting

His thoughts turn to home and we turned.

I took a man to-”

Then the radio powered off, as abruptly as it had switched on.

(Man, I’ve been wanting to do that joke for as long as I’ve known that Part 2 had a runaway groom plot.)

(Oh, and my review of the beginning of Part 3 has now been posted!)

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction review #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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