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the-record · 2 months

Text

ICU

SUMMARY: ellies lost her keys…again… luckily dina’s pretty friend has an empty bed

PAIRING: ellie williams x reader

WARNINGS: none?

A/N: i missed these and yall!! not fully back but i miss writing also if u see stranger things content don’t be alarmed! still v much in love with ellie and abs

‘ I FEEL SOMETHING WHEN I SEE YOU NOW ‘

elliewilliams

elliewilliams LET ME INNNNNNNN. JOEL PLEASE LET ME INNNNNNNN

tagged: joelmmm

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dina_nolastname BAAHHAHA IMAGIWN

elliewilliams i HATE you CRY URSELF TO SLEEP

joelmmm 💤💤💤

elliewilliams JOEL PLEASE UTS COLD

elliewilliams IM TIRED AND IM VERY SORRY

elliewilliams JOELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

jessesucks go to tommy and marias stupid

elliewilliams why didnt i think of that? oh wait I DID ITS 2 AM AND THEY HAVE A BABY STUPJD HOW DID YOU EVEN GRADUATE??!!?!?!

yourusername did u lose ur key again

elliewilliams …no… also HOW DO U KNOW AB THAT?!?!

yourusername dina talks a LOT when shes drunk

angel: ellie come to mine

ellie: huh?

a: ur locked out, im not, my beds made, urs probably isnt, come over.

e: u barely know me?!?!?

a: dina trusts u idc, come over rn or ill pick u up.

e: send me ur address.

“this was really nice of you.” ellies voice breaks the silence as make room for her beside you. you wave your hand, no worries, but she insists. “no seriously, you could’ve let me die. freeze. starve even.”

when you laugh she doesn’t think she’s ever heard a better sound. “ellie i don’t think any of those things would’ve happened.” you smile and lean on an elbow to look at her. “and i really don’t mind, gets lonely anyways. need a loser dork to fill the silence.” you tease.

she gasps in faux hurt, tracing an imaginary tear down her face.

elliewilliams

elliewilliams an ANGEL yall. $10,000,000 for her and her only.

tagged: yourinstagram

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yourusername bye i let you stay over a night 😭 i didnt cure cancer

elliewilliams ur right. $100,000,000 mb

dina_nolastname *sighs*

elliewilliams i hate you.

joelmmm yourusername I am so sorry Ellie intruded, I’ll pay you for your time and kindness.

yourusername 😭😭 damn

elliewilliams ignore him, he drinks

yourusername its 8 am.

jessesucks oh you will NEVER live this down.

elliewilliams blocked.

a_anderson you are an embarrassment to society!

elliewilliams i hate all of u.

e: hey!

a: real chipper today huh

e: didn’t lose my key all week so yes very

e: i have a question tho

a: lmao im gonna steal ur key from u, whats up?

e: do u wanna go to a concert this weekend??

e: i bought the tickets for dina and i but she cancelled last minute and jesse cant go

e: its like 2 hours away on saturday

e: also do NOT touch my key please i m begging

a: yea actually id love too :)

a: text me the details

e: great

e: okay yea ofc

elliewilliams

elliewilliams so…

tagged: yourusername

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dina_nolastname MRS STEAL UR GIRL

elliewilliams SHE WAS NEVER URS!!!

jessesucks GASPING when did this development occur.

elliewilliams 🤓☝️

jessesucks BREAK UP

yourusername girl on the left is sooo fine

elliewilliams crazy, im more into the one on the right

dina_nolastname yall r EMBARRASSING

joelmmm yourinstagram Come for dinner tomorrow! Would love to meet Ellie’s pick of the month. 🩷

yourinstagram GOODBYEEE

elliewilliams JOEL?!?!??!!!??!

yourusername

yourusername in an interesting turn of events…

tagged: elliewilliams

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jessesucks GAG

yourusername this is why dina dumped you! 💋

dina_nolastname BYEEE true tho

elliewilliams bruh we are so cute

yourusername okay “bruh”

elliewilliams WIAT OM SORRY

dina_nolastname mrs. stolen girl 💔💔

yourusername im always urs bae

a_anderson wheres MY cute gf damn.

yourusername I KNOW SOMEONE WHOO LIIIIIIKES YOU!!

a_anderson SPILL.

elliewilliams go away! 💋

a: hey

e: hi

a: come over?

a: please?

e: are you okay??

a: just please come over.

e: im omw right now

e: be there in 10

e: unlock the front door

a knock on your door wakes you from the light sleep you’d been in. a small ‘come in’ has ellie gently opening the door and walking softly towards your bed. her hands brush hair from your face, a kind smile on her face. something you can’t pinpoint in her eyes.

“you doing okay babe?” her voice is just above a whisper, though no one else would be home to hear it otherwise. “tired?”

you hum an answer out and reach for one of her hands, fiddling with her rings and avoiding her eyes. “can you turn off the light and sit with me?” she smiles and nods, savoring one more second before standing and taking off her jacket while walking to the switch.

its still light out, the evening sun beginning to set but still lighting up enough of your room. as she’s getting in beside you, she notices what you’re wearing. “nice shirt,” ellie says with a snort.

its one of hers, you stole it a few weeks ago with no intention of giving it back. her heart grows as a small smile graces your features. “there she is.” you flush and turn away. she coos teasingly while getting comfortable behind you.

when you do turn, shes the perfect pillow. her fingers trace your features as your eyes shutter closed.

e: hi love, you wanna do something today?

a: you have something in mind?

e: thought we could go bowling

e: that new bowling place just opened downtown, looks cute

a: kinda tired. do something at home?

e: alreadyomw with snacks for u

a: youre the best.

a: i miss you.

e: i miss you too. you doing okay?

a: are you at work

a: im tired

e: i get off in 30

e: come over to mine, joel will let you in

a: okay

elliewilliams

elliewilliams bbg needs a NAP theyre grouchy

tagged: yourusername

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yourusername i know where you live.

elliewilliams LOVE YA!

joelmmm Photo creds.

elliewilliams sighs.

dina_nolastname angel ALWAYS needs nap bro gets really grumpy

yourusername I ALSO KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

dina_nolastname see? grumpy.

jessesucks we’ve all seen the pictures she looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL, uhm… and he’s there… (ellie is he)

dina_nolastname (ellie is he) BYE

yourusername HEY JESSIE WOAHHH FEELS LIKE A PARTY EVERYDAY

elliewilliams remember when dina dumped u?

a: can we go to the aquarium

e: you feel up to it?

a: no obviously i asked because i don’t

e: OKAY SORRY DAMN

e: god just being a supportive girlfriend and this is what i get.

a: GOODBYE I DONT WANNA GO ANYMORE

e: no im sorry im sorry im sorry i wanna go

a: YAY

a: pick me up in 30 pls

e: of course love

e: im glad you’re feeling better

e: very excited rn

yourusername

yourusername finally left the house after 72628748829 years

tagged: elliewilliams

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elliewilliams @ the guy who took this for us ur so real

yourusername YEA!!!!!!

dina_nolastname yall r so cute CRY

yourusername u want me fr

jessesucks ICK

dina_nolastname this is why i dumped u

elliewilliams

elliewilliams a moment for the gf!

tagged: yourusername

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yourusername OF ALL THE THINGS YOU POST THIS?!?!? THIS?!!!!!!!?

elliewilliams but u look so pretty

yourusername CHOKE ily

elliewilliams I love YOU

dina_nolastname my wife is so gorg

elliewilliams back off?

yourusername LADIES LADIES theres enough of me to go around

jessesucks cute ig

joelmmm You found a good one babygirl!

elliewilliams DAMN RIGHT I DID

e: hey i love you

a: i love you too

a: u lose ur key again?

e: …

a: ffs come over good god

e: already here!

a: R U IN MY KITCHEN??!

e: ur mom says hi

e: be up in a sec!! snacks!

#! kates babes !#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams fluff #ellie x reader #🎵 smau 🎵

129 notes · View notes

dykeomania · 2 years

Text

. . . homegirl.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: just saw ur post and welcome to tumblr lol :)) can i request an ellie x reader where they both confess that they love each other? i mean they were best friends at first and there will be a lot of gay panic and embarrasment lmaooo before they confess, just a huge fluff

𝐚/𝐧: babe wake up thelastoflesbians posted their first fic. anywayssss kinda nervous uhhh mixed emotions about this but for the most part i’m pretty like... i’m ?! satisfied. took me about a month to write because i literally could not figure out for the life of me what i wanted to do with this fic, but it’s finally done and i actually kind of enjoy how it turned out all things considered, so. i hope that u enjoy it!!!!!! ummmmmm!!!! first time actually writing like a fluffy moment, my smut is usually a lot more physically descriptive for . obvious . Reasons but yeah ok phew ok um yes read it and tell me if you like it (please im like actually shitting)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff. fluff fluff fluff is the big thing here; lots of gay yearning and longing and “girlfriend or girl that’s a friend” type of vibe. implied smut (it’s implied/explicitly stated that you and ellie have hooked up but there’s no actual smut), cussing, drug use (weed), you and ellie being ridiculously awkward for like 500+ words it’s actually ridiculous. little bit of sexual tension tbh. bad extended metaphors (i used to write poetry and it shows in my fic writing leave me alone). i proofread this three times but i’m also blind so some shit may sound weird

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.2k.. slay

. . . .

there are some people who you would do mostly anything for. maria, who took you in. tommy, who has been nothing but kind to you. other friends, other family. and then there’s ellie.

girlhood came quick – unsightly and unprecedented -– and when ellie made the sound, sworn pact of best-friendship with you at the age of sixteen, you weren’t expecting it to become so serious. a bond originally mended from a mutual interest in comic books and backpack pins and video games and of each other’s faces – it felt only casual, like something that would age with time. but you made homes out of each other. at first it was just mere occupancy. i really like being around you. and then it was work. it was snipping through each other’s secrets and traumas, and patching all the holes punched in the walls. it was slow dancing under a roof far from perfected, and dampening each other’s shoulders in the gentle glow of fairy lights. it was stitching each other’s wounds, giving stories to each other’s scars. it was laying beside each other in an unmade bed. and there, under canopies of sheets and sighs, it was teaching each other how to kiss, how to give back. how to do it for yourselves, but most importantly, how to do it together.

when ellie looked you in the face and told you “i would do anything for you,” you were terrified because you knew that she meant it, but you squeezed her hand because you meant it tenfold.

you said, “i adore you.”

she said, “i love you,”

and then you woke up.

. . . .

it was the day after ellie’s nineteenth birthday.

the breeze kisses down the sweat-lined trail of your spine cord and the shudder it ushers from you is like a push, headfirst, into all of your senses. you wince and your hands scrunch at the sheets, and it’s sudden, but you almost immediately still. you are awake enough to realize that these sheets – as damp as they are – are not yours. this mattress is too firm. this room is too dark. at first panic comes quick, not barraging per se, but tying your stomach in a knot that renders you uneasy. you investigate -- slightly frantic -- hands searching for just about anything until someone shuffles beside you, and you still. your eyes squint at the back of an auburn bun and a feeling begins to settle in your stomach.

this is ellie’s room.

beside you, ellie is asleep. the trailed spotted canyon separates both ends of her back, and it’s on full display to you.

she was presumably naked.

and so were you.

. . . .

you didn’t talk to her after, but you couldn’t avoid her forever.

hell took the form of a cafeteria serving line where she stood beside you, staring at your neck in a manner you had to fight not to give attention to. and you knew it was cruel, but honestly, you didn’t know what to say. voice your shock at her not talking to you sooner? showing that you cared in this instance felt forbidden. like it would be a dead giveaway, of which you wouldn’t be able to afford, as remarkably stupid as that was.

apparently, you weren’t trying hard enough, since you could see that ellie was trying to do the same as you, and yet failing miserably. her eyes scanned the side of your face; waiting. longing – for anything, really. for a second, you couldn’t see her and that was when she gained the most courage. ellie’s eyes scaled the ground as she refilled her lungs, and then she tried, throwing herself into the pool of sharks with a single step in your general direction, “hey.”

your head whips around, but something falling along the line of shock backs your voice. “hi..?”

“i haven’t uh, i haven’t seen you. like at all.” “yeah.” you nodded, “yeah, i’m sorry i’ve just – i’ve just been busy lately–”

“no it’s totally fine, i get it, i was just – y’know, i was just wondering where you .. were.” ellie nearly burns herself trying to spoon mashed potatoes onto her plate. it’s not exactly one of those things that you can’t make obvious. she wanted to die.

be cool, be cool you tell yourself. “i mean.. it’s only been a week.” you roll your eyes with some effort of a laugh, but holy shit, you probably looked so stupid. you immediately rushed to compensate for it. “but uh, how’ve you been?” you see ellie’s eyebrows raise as she peeks at you. small talk? she thought. unironically? fucking, seriously? “uh..” a breathy chuckle left her lips. “i’m.. okay. you?”

“yeah, i’m fine. i’ve just been–” “busy, huh.” “yeah, yeah.. well you just, said it for me, so.” you begun counting the ways in which you could conveniently die in this moment. there were none that you could think of. you wanted to slide down a wall.

as the end of the line grew near, you couldn’t tell what emotions were bubbling in your stomach. a desire to run was obvious, but something about leaving the conversation unfinished left it curdling. your heart pounded against your ribs, and you swallowed every urge that you had not to look at her. but that didn’t stop you from slowing down, from putting the tiniest spoonfuls of broccoli on your plate, just in case. maybe if she, perhaps, if it wouldn’t be a bother… please. please just talk to me.

“hey, so, remember uh, a couple nights ago–” ellie spoke and you, briefly, felt your stomach drop into your ass and your innards beginning to protrude through every hole on your body, until she finished her sentence “--when we were talking about like.. i don’t know, weed. and you said you’d never smoked and like, you wanted to. well dina and i just got a bunch and i can’t really smoke it all on my own, so like.. i was wondering like, if maybe you wanted to... come over later…” ellie’s throat was pulsing in the base of her chest, begging, literally pleading for you to say yes. dying. on its knees. please for the love of fucking christ–

there are some people who you would do anything for, and then there’s ellie. ellie, who would give her rib for your wellbeing, and expect nothing in return. ellie, who is your best friend. ellie, who you hooked up with. ellie, who you have kissed. ellie, who is the only one in notable existence who you would have done either of those things with. ellie, who at the end of the day regardless of how hard you try to hide it, you have missed amidst all of your confusion, and who you just want to be around.

“uh.. yeah. sure, why not?”

it didn’t seem like ellie was expecting you to say yes, let alone say yes so casually. nevertheless something treading a line of relief and acceptance crossed her face, one that she had to blink away in order to remind herself that she was standing in front of you, and to say something. “yeah,” she started, lips beginning to upturn into a small smile. “well, cool.”

“i’ll see you at.. nine?” you nodded and ellie lifted her tray and walked around you to sit with jesse. when she peered over her shoulder to look back at you for a moment, you met each other’s gazes.

she offered you a small smile. you gave her one back in return.

how genuine of you.

. . . .

“you’re not gonna cough – look, i’m gonna light it. and then you’re gonna inhale and you’re gonna hold it. and just let it go when i tell you to. yeah?”

“m’literally gonna pass out–”

“you’re fine. just trust me, you got it.” ellie’s thumb rolls back and the lighter sparks. the flame licks the buds of the freshly packed bowl stationed between your lips and you try to convince yourself that that is what stills you. nothing at all to do with how ellie is so close to you that her bated breaths just barely skim your jaw. for a moment, you met eyes. despite your previous interactions, you never saw ellie as a person who stares. when she did she would stare through you, too spaced out to notice and too abashed if you’d ever brought it up to her. tonight was different because ellie was staring directly into you.

it all was hard not to focus on - the way she was looking at you, timid but daring, as if her excitement could be explained by something other than watching her best friend take her first hit. the way she was leaned over, supported one arm as though she was going to kiss you, or maybe the position was just too fucking familiar. god knows how long you looked at each other. your mind abandoned the instructions she gave you.

inhale…

you blinked, quickly averting your gaze as you filled your lungs with smoke. your eyes glued themselves to the bowl, while ellie’s eyes alternated between watching the embers and watching you. she took her bottom lip between her teeth to contain her smirk, voice falling alongside the sound of the soft crackles and your lungs expanding. “there you go. nice and easy…”

for a second you thought you had it. your exhale begun slow and cautious, and you didn’t know if you were doing this correctly but you at least knew that you were still doing it. that was until ellie looked at you again. it was the smirk, and the tinge in her cheeks. it was every freckle and the lines of sleep deprivation and stress settled under her eyes, backlit by lamplight. your breathing tripped, and your coughs stumbled out. hard. harder than you were prepared for. you caught the sound of ellie laughing underneath them before she rose from the couch, and the sound of the faucet running followed shortly thereafter.

“oh my god,” you rasped, swallowing down what you’d hoped would be the last of your coughs. it wasn’t. you wanted to die, and for a minute, you actually thought you were going to.

“it’s okay. it happens,” ellie grinned, handing you a cup of water your way which you hastily accepted. embarrassment laughed loudly at you in the back of your mind, for you’ve made yourself look astronomically stupid in front of ellie on numerous occasions and it wasn’t exactly like any of them had mattered prior to this. this one seemed to matter a little more though. “that’s – that’s really strong,” you tried to play it off, hoarse and partially alive. “you said i wouldn’t cough,” you frowned.

“i never said that.” “you lied to me.” “oh so, i’m a liar now?” “yes! what the fuck, that’s exactly what you are.” you laughed. ellie plopped down on the couch and took the bowl from your hand, a shiteating grin never leaving her face. “it’s okay, it’s fine. you’re fine.” she took her lighter, flushing slightly. “that was fine. you did good. i’m proud of you.”

her words made your suffering more worthwhile than you’d like to admit. good. i’m proud of you. a self-satisfied smile twitched onto your lips accompanied by the warmth in your cheeks. you caught yourself rolling your eyes and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as the sound of ellie’s lighter flickered once more, only the bowl had been brought to her lips. you brought your knees up to your chest as you watched her. she withdrew the smoke slow between her lips and exhaled the cloud before her with ease. it was you, this time, whose teeth found their bottom lips. suddenly you understood the appeal of watching. maybe because it just wasn’t you who was doing the smoking. or maybe, more accurately, because it was ellie.

your eyes scan her for longer than you intended to, flickering between the bowl and her eyes. you have to literally force them away, now feeling the need to fill in the silence. “how long does it take to hit?” you tilted your head. “like, usually?”

ellie took a second to think, frowning in thought for a second before resorting to shaking her head. “not that long.” she rasped, going in for another hit. “but it gets stronger the more you do it. it’s not like edibles, or anything.” you slowly nodded, mumbling an “ah” under your breath at ellie’s advice.

“you get better with practice. you did better than me my first time, i remember when i first smoked with kat.. oh my god. i was like.. dying on her floor.” ellie snorted, and your eyes fell slightly. kat and dina weren’t necessarily sensitive topics, or at least for the sake of showing that you didn’t care, you convinced yourself that they weren’t. but part of you liked to think that ellie knew. because honestly, she probably did. nonetheless, an amused exhale pushed through your nose as you thought, airing on the side of caution with your words. “i don’t really think she cared that much,” you mused and ellie scrunched up her face, offering a half-way smile in confirmation “not really, no.”

you fiddled with your fingers as your eyes lingered around the tops of your knees. the gap of silence widened between the two of you, and in the midst of waiting for you to say something, ellie looked at you, realizing that you weren’t going to. her eyes scaled you up and down, a small confused smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “you okay?”

you honestly hadn’t realized how quiet you’d been. you can’t tell what made you that way – the mention of kat, the fact that you are sitting across from ellie on the same couch that you and her (began) fucking on a week and a half prior– “yeah i’m just–” you ran a hand through your hair, stretching with a groan that you’d hope would act as a vessel for all of your anxieties. “i’m just uh, waiting for you to ask me if i want another hit.”

ellie’s eyebrows raised and she scoffed out a laugh. ”okay, well..” she lifted the glass bowl, pointing it towards you. “do youuu… want another hit?”

. . . .

what you liked most about ellie is how you fit beside her. how she always left room for you, but kept you close. what ellie liked most about you is that you saw all sides of her, even the ones that she herself couldn’t see, and yet you still chose to stay. her hand was fit to be undesirable - often cold, calloused and rough with the day’s remains under her fingernails no matter how hard she scrubbed them. but you didn’t flinch when she touched you. your skin brought warmth to her palms and she brought you the gift of knowing that she was there, and during these times, wanted to be nowhere else. between the sheets, conversation fell in gentle whispers. giggles were hushed as to not wake the peace between you two. it was just you two. and face to face, you were safe, tracing forcefields onto each other’s skin. she was soft yellow light. she was cluttered collectibles, and wrinkled, stained grey comforters. she was brown liquor, and the vibration of a tuned guitar against your chest. she is home; your homegirl.

ellie’s eyes were half-lidded, pulled under by both sleepiness and the influence, but she was still only looking at you. she looked at you when you were looking directly at her, foreheads bound to touch and barely a nose apart, and your breath tickled her upper lip. she looked at you when you closed your eyes and her hands were massaging your scalp, when your head bent towards the nape of her neck and she swore you could hear her heart thumping, spilling over in her chest. your hands had found the girl’s hip, thumb barely tracing patterns over the skin exposed above her boyshorts. ellie was floating, though she was still thinking, which was both a blessing a curse.

ellie spent a lot of time assessing the roles of the different people in her life. she didn’t dwell over the concept of loss, be it death or otherwise. but keeping people close to her felt like a timebomb.

everyone who i have ever cared about has either died or left me.

she would never tell anyone but laying with you, staying with you, being with you -- as much as she loved it -- sometimes felt like a recipe for disaster. now, all things considered, she’d hate to admit that that feeling was even worse. she felt like shit. for a variety of reasons. she just didn’t want you to leave. “i don’t want you to ever go away,” ellie muttered through the silence.

you hum, nose rested in the crescent of her neck, breathing in the smell of just her; musk, deodorant, woodchips, weed. these words aren’t unfamiliar to you coming from ellie. you wanted the moment to last. you wanted to be as close to her as you could be. you wanted to hear the reason. “why?” you asked, a tiny playful smirk in your voice, evident once you lift your head to look up at her. you can’t really see her, but her breath fans over your lips. suddenly both of your bodies feel hot, like her hip is melting into your hand and your cheek into her palm. the sliver of distance between the two of you is paining, but neither of you move.

ellie bit back a small smile. her tongue stuck out briefly, passing between her lips along as a beat of silence settled between the two of you. “because,” she whispers, quieter. “you’re like.. my best friend.” “mm.” “and i guess you’re my favorite person,” ellie’s nose bumped against yours, and you swallowed your breath. “and i would do anything for you.”

“you don’t even care about me,” you joked. your eyes locked with the girl’s before you whose had seemed to soften, like the smile on her face, but only slightly. “i’d kill for you.”

ellie is pure warmth against you. the concave of your hand presses gently into the protrusion of her hip, and you feel her lean into your grasp, edging closer, daring to do so something that best friends simply do not do. flickering between her eyes and her lips. ellie’s finger traces the curve of your jawline and you try not to shiver. it hooks, carefully, under the base of your chin, thumb massaging over its front. but it felt different this time. you needed to ask, “do you remember the night that we hooked up?”

if the lights were on, you would’ve seen all the blood fade from ellie’s face. and then you would’ve seen it rush to her cheeks again. you did see her bite the inside of her cheek, scaling your own face carefully in an effort to remain perfectly still – perfectly collected. “it kinda depends on what you’re labeling as hooking up.”

you weren’t expecting yourself to roll your eyes, or laugh for that matter. “i’m not talking about kissing, i’m not talking about heavy-petting.” you looked into her, a smile on both of your faces. “i’m talking about your birthday.”

ellie’s heart kicks and for a second, she thinks she might have a heartattack. a beat drifts by, and she nods, “yeah.”

“and you told me that you would do anything for me?”

ellie’s brows furrowed. you could tell she was trying to joke with you, but behind her reciprocation, for the first time, it’s like you could see it in her face. “where exactly are you going with this?”

you were starting to feel a bit nervous. your palm felt clammy against her skin, despite it being perfectly dry. “because i think you said something else, too.” ellie’s ministrations grew to a slow halt and suddenly you knew that she knew, that you knew. “and i think you said it while i was sleeping. and i wanna know if it’s true.” you felt so small under ellie’s gaze. ellie, who had not broken eye contact with you once, had barely shown any changes in her expression outside of the subtle lift in her brows. the most you got out of her was a recent, slow, thoughtful lick of her lips – the only thing she could offer as she struggled to pull herself together, desperately wanting to own up to what you’d suspected but at the same time desperately looking for escapes out of this conversation.

instead, she settled, trying not to swallow the bulge in her throat. “i don’t know, what if it is?” she tossed, cheeks warm and gaze wanting to waver, but not allowing herself to let it. as badly as she wanted to. mother of god, she was so conflicted.

your hand reaches for the back of ellie’s neck and your lips slot together in something soft, something familiar, but something so full that it makes your heart twist and turn. ellie’s hand takes your hip like it’s routine, reeling and winding as your lips slot together - slow. gentle. calculated. the answer to her question. “i wanna hear you say it,” you murmured against her lips. ellie hummed, it falling between the line of approval and disapproval. her hand was hot against your stomach – you felt like you were on fire. “i don’t want you to hate me,” ellie admitted, and it struck you dead in the chest. “i don’t know -- i’m honestly so fucking scared. i don’t wanna ruin anything. i don’t wanna lose you.”

you shook your head, frantic and eager, words bubbling out before you got a grasp on them. “what? i could never hate you.” you hooked your finger gently under her chin, pulling her face so that it faced yours. you searched her eyes for any signs of sarcasm or anything. instead, certainty – and not the certainty in her eyes just a few moments prior. a more pessimistic kind of certainty. doubt. a hint of dread, even. “i could never. hate you.” you reaffirmed, and then you slipped; you were off the deep end, the words out your mouth before you could even control them, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling… “i love you.”

ellie’s expression fragmented. her eyes met yours again, and something in them brightened, and then dimmed. like something had unlocked – unclicked, at the notice that maybe, just maybe, there was a little bit less to be afraid of.

and so you said it again. “i love you.” you shook your head. “i love you..”

ellie’s train of thought is pure static. she can’t tell if she’s breathing heavier, or breathing at all, and or if she is nearly even alive for these are moments that she’d only really thought of. she can think of nothing other than you. just you, here, beneath and alongside her and loving her, and everything cracks and locks into place at the same time.

she leans down, grasping your cheek and kissing you like you’re an anchor. for the first time, neither of you hold back. it wasn’t chaste, nor careful. ellie kisses you like she’d been meaning to since you started allowing her to – deeply, with no endpoint in sight. your bodies mold, like halves slotting together, and heat envelops the two of you. it’s safe. it’s so warm. it is so perfect. when she pulls away, she is winded, having nearly given all of the life in her body to you.

“i love you,” she declares, lips ghosting against your own. your head spins as you catch her gaze through your lashes, bringing yourself to barely shake your head as you find your voice. “no you don’t..” your smile is sarcastic and suddenly both you and ellie are snickering, but she’s persistent against your lips. “i love you so much.”

“i can never win with you, huh?” ellie quipped, pushing a section of hair out of your face and you grin. “not once,” you promise. ellie shakes her head at you. her thumb massages your cheekbone and for a second, she’s useless, now essentially smiling down at you as she shook her head.

“you’re so stupid,” ellie whispered. “and you’re never getting rid of me.” “yeah?” “yeah.” “thank god for that, i guess.” you both laugh and your lips make contact once again. it’s full of yearning and it’s deep, but this time, you take your time. ellie’s hands move slow, and time rolls over onto itself. each kiss overlaps and says something different, but as you spend the night parting each other’s thighs with your legs and breathing bliss into each other’s mouths, the same mantra gets underscored over and over again. i’ve got you, she says. and i’ve got you, you affirm.

there are other people in this world who you would die for and then there is ellie, who you would walk through shallow spikes for with no complaints because you know she would do the same for you. there is ellie who would fight hell and high water for you, and has, and will do it again and again and again, as long as it meant that you weren’t going anywhere. there is ellie, who is half of you, but more. ellie. your best friend. your girlfriend, you’d hope. your person.

your homegirl. just a girl. just a body, to which you’re a homebody.

homegirl, homegirl, homegirl.

#tlou #tlou 2 #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou2 ellie x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x f!reader #the last of us ii #tlou fic #tlou smut #mia did you add enough tags or did you not add enough tags #please just read my shit bruh i need validation #oh my god dude im so nervous what the fuck #every time i read it i start to hate it literally bye im just gonna post it

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