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spinjitsuburst · 2 months

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ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

#help this was. my brain is so not intact today so if this makes absolutely 0 sense i understand #i did end up watching some prime empire stuff during my ramblings and guys. the ending of that season still makes me cry #this is fully prime empire propaganda btw i need to like. talk about the season more because despite what my skybound posting would lead #y'all to believe THIS IS THE ACTUAL SEASON THAT LIVES IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES MOST OF MY MUTUALS ARE JUST MORE SKYBOUND BRAINED #AND IT RUBS OFF ON ME EASILY #but no prime empire is the fucking best #if i talk about jay long enough it WILL just turn into prime empire #also after I wrapped up this post i continued thinking more jay thoughts but this post is already long enough #like how jay is actually SO incredibly self-sacrificing and how he cares so much about helping people #also wow i didn't even mention his powers in that whole ramble. rare for me.#one day i wanna do!! a powers masterpost. like how i view all the ninja's elemental powers #but thats another day's project i am. So Eepy #anyways hope y'all appreciated this #also thank u serp for sending this ask which allowed me to Scream into the Void about jay walker #category 11 han moment fr #ninjago #lego ninjago #jay #jay walker #unagami #edna #ed #i have no idea if ANY of this is coherent btw #prime empire #skybound #hunted #quest for the lost powers #ask #spinjitsu screams

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papers4me · 3 years

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Yuusaku & Asirpa (the innocent symbol for the father’s own quest)

Reading chapter 276, you can’t help but notice the striking similarities between Yuusaku & Asirpa & the future differences that will save Asipra from Yuusaku’s fate.

First of all, for the sake of the argument rather than focusing on the rightful cause of each nation/race or the father’s own character or personal gain, I’ll focus on Yuusaku & Asipra’s own character, fate & destination.

--The similarities between Yuusaku & Asirpa:

Both is considered an innocent, pure & just symbol for their own respective cause. Yuusaku is an army’s flag bearer, holding the nation’s flag with pride, courage & confidence in advancing towards victory. Army men get courage, hope & optimism just by looking at him! Asirap, according to Hijikata’s plan is a symbol for the Ainu. The reporter supposed to write articles abt her pride of her own traditions, conviction, & the just quest for the right to the their own land. Along with her picture with her traditional attire will convey genuineness that will move readers & rally the Ainu behind her.

Although not a written rule, but Yuusake must stay virgin to further cast a light of spiritual approval & more importantly to not cloud his mind with the worry of a lover or a child left behind when he should be focused on his mission. Furthermore, he shouldn’t dirty his hands with the blood of other men even if killing them is justified at war ( Yuusaku himself is genuinely against taking lives & is wary of guilt). Asripa is a child (hence she’s not focused on marriage) & although she is considered at marriageable age according to Ainu customs at the time, she refuses to settle down, wear traditional tattoos that symbolize marriageable readiness or status. Furthermore, Asipra refuses to kill others even if they’re rightfully deserve death or stand at her way. She even makes Sugimoto promises to not kill if he to be her partner in their initial partnership contract.

Yuusaku’s ideas from from his father’s teaching & convictions. His whole fate is planned by his father & he was raised to accept such convictions. Putting his son in the front lines of death even if he hopes his son survives. Asipra’s father planned the whole gold hide around her memories. She’s the key for the gold & hence putting his daughters at the heart of danger. Knowing quite well that the gold attracts all kinds of men with all kinds of agendas. Asirpa is lucky she has an immortal vicious guardian to protect her & stand tall between her & all those men of war & greed. Asirpa herself went through a long journey that led her to fight the fight that her father’s chose in the first place. A fight that she didn’t even know it existed. Wilk raised Asripa knowing what’s to come, hence she is a different kind of Ainu woman. A path that the father planned.

Both Yuusake & Asirpa ended up in the planned path regardless of the journey it took. Both fathers used other men to ensure their chosen offspring will follow regardless of the obstacles. Hanazawa used Kukta to “save” Yuusaku from earthy distractions: love & family. Wilk used Hijikata to find Asripa & get the tattoos key from her.

Both Yuusake & Asirpa were faced with other options that they can take & leave their designed fate. Yuusaku ( while presumably he didn’t know abt the arranged marriage plan) he was given other options by Ogata to not become the so called symbol, hookers, killing war captives, & better yet! turning his back & going away. Yuusaku stayed & refused all distractions becuz altho he wants to please his father & meet his expectations, perhaps Yuusake really believed that’s his purpose. Although Yuusake knows of the high deaths rate of flag bearer, I firmly believe that he wanted to fulfill his duty, then live. He seemed the type that is too hopeful & too optimistic to solely think of death or focus on the real ugliness of war. Asripa while having more realistic approach than Yuusake, still chose to continue her designed fate. Sugimoto tried to give her an exit, go back to carefree hunting & forget this path. She refused. How could she turn her back to such rightful cause? afteral she was raised to be proud of her origin.

In Ogata’s eyes Asirpa & Yuusaku are alike.

---Striking Differences between Yuusaku & Asirpa:

I believe (from a writer’s perspective: Yuusaku died so that Asrpa could live). Meaning, Yuusake is what Asripa shouldn’t become or death awaits her. Thus Sugimoo’s journey involves meeting both symbols ( Yuusaku & Asirpa). He met Yuusake so he could save Asirpa. Yuusaku didn’t die cuz flag bearers are at the front lines. NO. He died cuz Hanazawa screwed up by rejecting another son. Hence, the shot came from the back not the front. From an insider killer not a foreign outsider. Sugimoto will make sure Asirpa don’t get a stab in the back. She is at the heart of danger. Anyone could end her cause at once, simply by killing her.

Unlike Yuusake Asripa decided to dirty her hands. She refuses to kill for herself but she will kill for sugimoto if he will be in danger. This bring me to the third point:

Unlike Yuusake, Asripa wants both worlds! she wants love as well, not just fighting for her nation/cause. Yuusake was taught to just focus on the mission & not have his own little family. Asirpa wants to go to dugimoto’s twon & eat his fave food, loves sugimoto & is jealous of the idea of sugi having a first lover, someone he thinks abt. In her furute she wants the Ainue’s rightful place & sugimoto by her side as well. However, can you really have both? Sugomoto doesnt seem to love her romanticlly in the first place. While he’s extremely kind, fond & protective of her, Sugi project a lot of his wishes on her. Sees his own innocence through her. Asirpa even confronted him on that. Secondly, even if getting Sugi’s love is possible perhaps the hardest part is getting her nation to unite. That’s a life time work! heck that’s generations work! Regardless, theses points separate Yuusake & Asrpra greatly & hence allows Asirpa a more realistic chance of survival.

Unlike Yuusake, Asripa was forced to see the truth of her father & no longer sees him through a child’s fond righteous eyes. Yuusake died not knowing the piece of sh!t that is Hanazaw. Asripa first was troubled by the rumor that her father killed the 7 Ainu & it took her ages to accept him again. Her quest was to ask him if he truly killed these Aiun! he didn’t. But he killed other ppl. Asirpa was once again to learn of her father’s dark histoy filled with blood, including the blood of an innocent woman & a baby. It doesn’t matter if Wilk didn’t intentionally kill Fina & Olga, his journey led to their demise. Whenever he goes, corpses fall. Wilk is one of the characters on this manga that rarely display guilt over death. Asirpa seeing her father’s bloody path, will enable her to judge wisely or more judge humanly. Unlike her father, Asrpa is not a wolf. Therefore, doesnt deserve a wolf’s death.

Unlike Yuusake who had no one that cared for him personally without any gain (beside his mother), Asripa has genuine ppl who cares for her personally, not her cause. ( sugi & shirashi). These two are capable of helping her.

I know that Wilk & Hanazaw arent 100% alike, however, these two men believe in their own ability to reach their goal & has designed their children’s path. It doesn’t matter which is righteous & which is horrible, both men put their only child ( as far as horrible Hanazwa is concerned) in the front lines of death. Hence, the whole post abt Yuusake & Asirpa.

I have more I want to say, But I can’t articulate more due to fatigue! but this chapter rocks!!! I love all GK characters as they all serve unique roles. I hope I get to write a post one day abt Ogata & Yuusaku!

#golden kamuy #ASIRPA #saichi sugimoto #yuusaku hanazawa

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talkingismylifewrites · 4 years

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40, Hot Space OT4 angst

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

oh man, you realize the alternative ending would be them not getting back together, right? like, roger would either a) never be able to trust them again b) not want to trust them again or c) die.

but basically what would happen is roger would throw himself into the cross, and queen would end up dying. it’s freddie’s decision, he just can’t handle seeing roger suffer through dealing with seeing john and continuing to drink himself halfway to death. so queen ends, and roger starts the cross, which becomes stupidly famous. probably helps that freddie and roger make lots of songs together.

(freddie watches from across the studio as john approaches roger, his hands twisting as he tells him that “daisy’s been saying that she really misses him, and well, it would be good for her if you came over for dinner this weekend.” and freddie is just so fucking tired of watching roger’s kids get dangled in his face and taken away from him while he has to drive him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped. so he announces at the end of practice that he’s done, queen, is dead, and he’s going on his own way. because he’d kill queen, he’d give up everything, if it would save roger. he loves roger more than he loves himself, the money, the fame.)

after one of the cross’ shows, freddie introduces roger to debbie leng, and she’s like, instantly into him. roger, however, is still nursing a broken heart and trying to keep his family semi normal, so he’s more hesitant to get on board with her. but after a while, he’s not seeing john as much, the wound isn’t as deep (still deep, still needs stitches, but he’s no longer working his way through a bottle of gin every night). so he agrees to go on one date with her, just to grab a coffee. one date turns into another, which turns into another, and another, and before they know it they’re dating.

meanwhile, back at the big house, john and ronnie and dom are slowly realizing that they can’t actually fix things, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. they start to kinda close the wounds together, filling the hole that roger left behind, and slowly, things start getting better. it’s easier to see roger, and easier to communicate. they don’t withhold the kids, they start doing one week on and one week off, and they settle on a custody agreement.

about a year post the end of queen, vera, their second child and roger’s biological daughter with ronnie, accidentally lets it slip that “daddy has a girlfriend her name is debbie and she’s really cool”.

(roger kept debbie separate and quiet for as long as he could, but one morning he woke up and realized he was going to miss debbie for the week, and that he knew vera would really like her. so he introduces her as his good friend-- which robbie and vera see right through-- and by the end of the week, they realize, oh shit, debbie’s here to stay)

it sends shockwaves through the family; dom, who has always been holding onto the hope that they can fix things, ends up having a breakdown; ronnie is like cool cool cooolcoolcoolcoolcoool; and john starts drinking again. it’s rough, really, and they don’t handle it as well as they can.

meanwhile, roger has finally introduced debbie to his hoard of children and explains that they are all his, and he had three partners and when things ended it nearly killed him. debbie holds him close and promises that she’s not going anywhere, and she’s always thought that bali was overrated anyways.

and it sucks, really, it sucks, because suddenly roger and debbie aren’t hiding their relationship, and the paps are just going crazy taking pictures of them and accusing roger of cheating on poor dominique, leaving her alone with their three kids (daisy, HA#1, and kitty) while veronica and john have to hold down the fort with the rest of their kids (robbie, vera, HA #2). and roger is getting vilified in the papers, but he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want them to a) be outed or b) hurt their kids further. plus, he still loves them. so he just kinda brushes it off and keeps working on the cross.

debbie, meanwhile, loves roger’s kids, really, she loves them so much. and it’s hard, because the kids now have a third “mother” in their lives, and some of them (daisy, robbie) are really rebelling against her while dom/ronnie/john are really hurt that vera in particular loves debbie. plus, no one wants to see their kids bonding with someone else, especially when it means that debbie is proof of their relationship being dead.

it takes them a while to find some solider ground, and then debbie gets pregnant. now, the last time roger was going to be a dad, things fell apart before his eyes, so he’s really kinda shaken at the idea of losing another kid. and debbie grabs him by the hand and is like listen to me: i’m not going anywhere. you are the father of my baby and the love of my life and when i say i’m sticking around, i mean it. so they decide to get married in a small little courthouse ceremony with freddie and jim and crystal as witnesses. they keep it small and private, and they tell the kids later when its their turn.

this time, its robbie who announces that “daddy’s married debbie AND they’re gonna have another baby”. the impending breakdown is somehow worse as roger never wanted to get married before, and now he’s married debbie.

dom takes it extra hard, and it doesn’t help that she makes an offhand comment about it to jim, who, having staked his flag firmly for team roger, is like “oh that’s cuz he needed some stability, though i don’t know why, it’s not like debbie’s gonna leave in the middle of the night with their kid”. (they...don’t see much of jim and freddie for a while after that).

the kids are...okay with the new baby. like, not super happy? but not terribly upset. and when the baby comes, roger is like look kids! new sibling! and again, this whole time he’s never treated any of the kids like they weren’t his, even the ones who are obviously not his (robbie, for one) he still loves so much because he raised them, he loved them, he cherishes them. so obviously little rufus is their sibling, too.

(they were terrified that the new baby meant that they were getting left behind. robbie had always been told that dom and roger chose to love him, that the moment they knew he was theirs, whether not he actually was. so what if the new baby is proof that roger was gonna forget about his other kids and only love rufus??)

(stupid, really, roger loves all of his kids)

and there’s drama as well where robbie wants to live full time with roger, but john and ronnie have to awkwardly explain to him that legally, he can’t, he’s not roger’s kid, so he can’t. neither can vera, even though roger is her dad. the only ones who technically could are the ones dom gave birth to, even though john is half of their fathers. and its terrible, and it causes one of the biggest fights between the kids and the parents because they’ve been told all their lives that roger is their dad and now he’s not?? and robbie ends up running away to freddie’s and roger has to awkwardly pick him up and be like robbie, buddy, you’re my son. you’ve always been my son, and you always will, but the law is the law. and i want you to stay with me, but so do your papa and mummy. and so you have to stay with them, but you can call me every day and still come see me.

vera, too, wants to spend more time with debbie (she loves debbie, it causes a ton of friction because vera wants to be a model and debbie is helping her with that and dom and ronnie are like wtf does she have that we don’t) but she can’t either. and the kids are chafing under the custody agreement and it’s so. fucking. hard. (vera also doesn’t help by tag teaming the parents into thinking the other are okay with her and debbie going to london fashion week together, which sparks a terrible all out brawl between the five adults over custody and “real parents”).

eventually, they also realize daisy, who’s always hated debbie, is trying to parent trap her parents back together, and veronica and dom have to very gently tell her that, no, honey, they’re not going to get together, and it’s no one’s fault, it’s just what happens. there are lots of tears.

so everyone gets put in family therapy, and they start to talk about what happened, and how to move forward. and it helps! they all start to heal, and they realize that yeah, it sucks, and they’ll always love each other, but what happened can’t be changed, and they’ve all moved on.

the kids start calling debbie “mama deb” and they implement their own traditions and holidays, they buy a giant house out in the country where they get like three dogs and too many cats, and a cow because daisy was vegan for a hot second and felt bad for one, and HaHa love llamas so they get one (freddie’s terrified of it its great). and they spend holidays and birthdays as a family, and they slowly move past what happened.

debbie and roger have a few more kids, and dom/ronnie/john end up having another baby as well. and the whole time, they just stress the importance of family: the kids are well cared for, they love each other, and they’re moving forward.

and, when the kids grow up and get married, roger, debbie, john, veronica, and dominique are all up at the parent’s table smiling and laughing and celebrating the job well done that they did raising their brood of kids. dom/john/ronnie even come to roger and debbie’s kids weddings and graduations, and no one can ever deny how much they all love each other.

no, it’s not perfect, and there are issues, but they love each other and they love the kids and at the end of the day they can say that they’re friends and that what happened happened.

and, eventually, they all live happily ever after.

p.s. vera is the one who finally sets the record straight on how roger was in a long term relationship with her parents, no, no one cheated, yes, she loves debbie she’s her step mom and fuck no they’re not terrible parents even though they were in a polyamorous relationship that imploded. she’s sixteen and fierce and the second it happens, miami gets the urge to buy a costco-sized tub of alkaselters for his ulcer. (it’s name is vera). ratty also looses £250 to crystal because he bet that it would be Ha#2 that would spill the beans, not vera.

#ot4 hot space #john/ronnie/roger/dominiqe #debbie/roger #all my little ot4 kids #vera sweetie youre my favorite dont tell the others

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chinatea · 5 years

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Personas pirates a/b/o au! headcanon.

It’s loosely inspired by Black Sails and AC4: Black Flag. Takes place in Nassau from the alternative universe populated by the Korean people apparently.

Multi-couples.

(Sajeon also posted a pirate-y HC today and I swear that’s a total coincidence. I totally have no secret backdoor into your mind, Sajeon...or have I?)

------------

Who-is-who:

BG (Jiyeon, omega, 27): was seduced as a teen by a noble who lusted over him and after the said noble had enough of him, he lost BG in a game of cards to the slavers who took him all the way to the other side of the world (Nassau) and sold him to a local brothel there. Despite the tragic hand that the fate had dealt him, BG is nothing if not a master of making the best of his circumstances. If he was forced to become a whore, then he’d become the most coveted whore there is. But he became much more than that, the whole pirate’s corner of the world became his playground and he knew how to play the game better than anybody. The Queen-bee of the salty dogs, if you please.

Tattoo (Junghwan, alpha, 25): the saltiest dog there is. He is of noble origin, but found himself stifled by the life that awaited him as the oldest son, when all he wanted to do is to carouse and whore around and have mighty good time at all times, to hell with propriety. So, one day, he took off, simple as that, signing up for a buccaneer ship. Only his rebellious streak didn't end there. Tat has a real distaste for hierarchies unless he's on top of one. Barely a few months into his first voyage, he somehow managed to convince the crew to throw the current captain over the board and sail for Nassau instead for booty and...booty. (In my mind, Tat takes after Black Beard in some ways, cuz Black Beard is my fav char in AC4.) Tat is the closest with Christian, his first mate.

Christian, (Jiwon, omega, 23): comes second only to BG when it comes to a messed up past. Married against his will to an alpha twice his age, Chris failed to become a good little omega wife and silently endure his husband’s brutality as was expected of him. Once he’d had enough of beatings and rape, he slashed the fucker’s throat in his sleep and took to the streets. He cross-dressed as an alpha and ended up on the same ship Tattoo was on. The two grew close, so much so that Chris decided to confide in Tattoo and tell him the truth. Chris’s lie could stay undiscovered only for so long, especially in the open sea, so if things went south, at least Tat would have his back. And boy, did he ever. When the captain got suspicious about Chris’s status, Tattoo managed to stage a well-timed coup and turn the crew against the captain, taking his place and making Chris his first mate.

Ian (alpha, 32): The Black Hound of His Majesty. Also, the new governor of Nassau, appointed by the Queen himself (not a typo, omegas take the title of a Queen) in hopes of cleansing Nassau of all that pirate filth. Ian comes from a wealthy merchant family which allowed him to attend a prestigious state university and rub shoulders with the crème de la crème who, in turn, never failed to snidely remind Ian of his modest origins. That never stopped him, however, from graduating at the top of his year and successfully enter the Royal Navy as a captain of his own vessel and show extreme excellence at any mission he was given. For his service, he was eventually knighted and conferred a noble status at the age of 30. (There are plenty of speculations about the nature of relationship between Ian and the Queen, some saying that the only reason Ian was so quick to find himself a fiancée was to allay the uncomfortable rumors, while in reality...)

Diminie (Jisoo, omega, 21): Ian’s fiancée. Comes from an old and very noble family that could even rival the royal dynasty in the pureness of blood. Unfortunately, they have been in dire financial straits for a while now, but the solution was simple enough - find a wealthy suitor for Diminie and marry him off. Simple but not easy. There is only so many wealthy suitors available among the noble families with immaculate credentials, and most of them were either taken or not looking forward to burden themselves with the Parks debts. And this is how Ian comes into picture: filthy rich but not of noble origin, which would make the Parks scoff even at the idea of such an alliance at any other time, but being poor felt even worse, so they had to swallow down their pride and accept Ian’s offer. In some ways, Diminie is like any other omega of noble origin: sheltered and pampered and ignorant of the life at large; brought up with a single purpose of marrying and producing an heir some day, preferably an alpha. But at the same time, he’s not like many of his peers - he’s bookish, likes to spend time on his own, in nature, dreaming about great adventures and such.

SG (Jungkook, alpha, 20): Ian’s younger brother. He’s Ian’s polar opposite, almost in every single way imaginable. Where Ian had to prove himself fiercely, SG was accepted simply because he is the brother of the Black Hound. His path to success had already been trodden for him, by his brother. And as much as he loves Ian, SG oftentimes feels like he’d always be in his shadow and that saddens him: he too longs for his own adventure, for a clean start. But SG is also no Tattoo, to just up and run to another part of the world, so he does what SG does best: he escapes into his own world, filled with swashbuckling extravaganza and romance. It’s his own small way of defying Ian - while Ian despises pirates, SG adores the idea of them. To him, pirates mean freedom to do as one wills with their life and one day, he comes closer to it than he ever thought possible. Before Ian leaves for Nassau, he offers SG to join him. Ian even has a suitable task for him in mind - to help looking after his fiancée who was adamant about going as well.

(Omegas, amrite?)

***

Relationships:

Moving on to the saucy bits.

Technically any couple can happen here, although some couples are more obvious than others, like Tattoo/BG, for instance, while for Tattoo/Di, I’d have to come up with a separate plotline to bring them together. Which I can, if you want me to, but for now I’ll focus on the more obvious ones.

***

Ian/BG/Tattoo is THE big love triangle of the whole shebang. For starters, Tat’s feelings towards BG are not easy to pin down, whether it’s love or lust or something in-between, even Tat doesn’t know for sure, and he’s no soul-searching type either, so there is that. Tat’s primary rule in life is ‘if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it’, which he applies to anything, even his relationship with people. Plus, when it came to BG, he had no real competition, yes they fuck around with people, but he’s a pirate and BG is a whore, that comes with the job, yes. Then, Ian comes into the picture. Ian with his anti-pirate agenda and immediate interest in BG who is at the epicenter of everything that happens on the island. And that lights fire under Tat’s ass, because deep down he’s afraid that BG will choose Ian over him, because why wouldn’t he. Tat had little to offer in comparison. Even if Ian would probably never marry BG because of BG’s reputation, he could still offer to take him as his mistress, and even that would mean a lot. With Ian as his lover, BG could finally go back home and re-enter the high society and have the life that was stolen from him. (Let it be known that Tat is clueless about Ian's betrothal situation. It's not like he could just look it up on the Internet, besides even if he did know, he'd just assume that Ian is like most alphas in power who had an official mate to supply heirs and a bunch of lovers on the side for fun and giggles).

Ian/Di/SG is the small love triangle of the story. Di is, of course, striving to be devoted to his future husband, that's how he was brought up in the first place. And he knows that Ian is a good man, a worthy man to be the father of his pups, but Di would be lying if he said that being betrothed to Ian is at all how he pictured it in his head. Ian treats him kindly and with respect but he's distant and oftentimes absent due to his service to the crown. And Di would loathe to see their marriage be the same way, so he follows Ian to Nassau in hopes to get closer to his fiance, but only to end up spending his days with his brother instead. At first, Di was dismayed, but it turned out that SG was not half bad a company - they had a lot in common, close in age and Di just felt less pressured to behave in a certain way around SG. And While Di doesn’t know when the tingles in his chest transformed into genuine affection towards the younger alpha, he knows from the way SG looks at him that the feeling is mutual and that can be dangerous.

Chris/Tat/BG is the merry threesome of the story. The three of them bang often and with much gusto, what else is there to say.

Chris and Tat are the best buddies in pretty much everything: in swashbuckling, drinking and fuckery. With his past, Chris has a deep-seated anger toward alphas which makes his skin crawl even at the thought of having one touch him again (Tat is the exception to the rule and even when they fuck, Tat gives him the control to make Chris comfortable). Chris also likes to seek out other omegas to fuck, because omegas are mostly submissive in bed and that works for Chris. The pairing I have in mind for him is with SG, actually. SG has the capability to help Chris work through his issues and regain a part of himself that was desecrated in his marriage - his gentler, more sensitive, kinder self. He’d still be the badass though, but with SG, he could be sweeter, more loving and open with his feelings without the fear of being hurt again.

***

There are a lot of ways this hc could go and there are plenty of loose ends to address here but that's about it for now. I'm very much amenable to writing out small stories based on this au, so if you have scenarios or couples you want me to explore, drop me a message or something. I can't write for all of them, ofc, but I promise to do at least a few of them.

Extras:

- I thought of making Diminie the Queen, but since everything happens at Nassau, there is no plausible way he’d actually be allowed to go to some PirateBayTM, so no Queen Diminie (for now?).

#personas au #multicouples #pirates au #yo ho ho

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troubleisfree · 6 years

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this is going to be like a very long, detailed, and mostly my personal observations and notes. as it was my first time seeing neymar and the brazil nt in person, i want to remember everything i can while its still fresh. it was a very exciting and at the same time surreal experience because i see those people all the time on tv games and now there they were few feet away from me...

i took the photos and videos. i am usually pretty good at that but i guess the excitement got the better of me because they did not come out fabulous. tumblr is being stupid with not letting me upload more then one video in a post, and i wanted everything together, so i ended up putting them up on youtube.

the hotel 9/3/2018.

so first i went to the hotel (very close to where i live) on monday 9/3. as it was labor day, i was off work and at a bbq/pool party abt 10 miles from home for the day. brazil nt was scheduled to leave the hotel for their first training at 4pm so i left the party early and, after some traffic drama, made it to the hotel little after 3.40pm. there were not too many people so i had a decent view but i also moved around a bit. some of the support staff was coming out already. a few minutes later, firmino was the first i saw, he waved and went straight to the bus.

then a group of marquinhos, douglas costa, fabinho etc came out together. only marquinhos paid any attention to the fans, waving and smiling but didnt stop.

then another group, including casemiro.

then alisson came out. he was really sweet, smiled, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. interacted the most of anyone else with the fans.

then another group - i think richarlison (idk him really), filipe luis, thiago silva. thiago was just as nice as alisson, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. he looked to me a bit shorter irl then on tv...

willian came out alone next.

at this point, it was almost 4pm, my excitement had totally built up and i was so anxious to see my boy ney. i started thinking that maybe he will get there separately cuz i hadnt seen coutinho and tite either. but there he was! coming out last with barely a minute to spare before 4pm (the timestamp on my photo is 3:58:59pm lol). he was the very last one to come out, chewing on something, with his typical swagger. he waved but didnt stop and the bus left as soon as he got on. he looked just as hot in person as on tv, the cameras dont lie lol. really handsome and very very sexy! i mean, i expected it, i have seen his photos lol but omg he looks so damn good you cant help those dirty thoughts! i felt like an absolute fangirl! this is neither here or there, but he looked to me a little bigger then i expected. just kinda...fuller?

i only took one photo of him cuz i wanted to look at him with my own eyes rather than thru the camera ;)

it was such an incredible experience seeing neymar and the rest of the guys in person so close that i was shaking after! like for real my hands were shaking, my legs were shaking. and i couldnt stop grinning for a good half an hour after. i went to the boardwalk to calm down a bit and just absorb the experience. people passing by probably thought im crazy or reading love letters on my phone or something cuz i just couldnt stop grinning but i didnt give a flying fuck what they were thinking - i had just seen neymar!

my notes and impressions:

1. OMFG I SAW NEYMAR FROM FEW FEET AWAY. just that, my brain was really way too frazzled to process any other impressions lol

the game 9/7/2018

so after some c. drama, despite my initial hopes, i had accepted that i am not going to go to the game. and then the day before i find out I AM GOING!!! i was so freaked out with excitement lol!!!

getting there was so frustrating! first i had forgot to charge my phone before leaving work so i only had like 30% which was nowhere near good enough for my plans of copious pics and vids. so i had to run into a bodega to buy a charger for the car. then for some complicated reason we had to leave from the ues and fucking DRIVE. crosstown. on a friday. at 6pm. straight thru freakin time square with its gazillion tourists. on top of rush hour. even though the schedule said 8pm, the tickets said the event starts at 7.30 and i wanted to be there early to see the warmups and at 7.02 we were still not even inside lincoln tunnel ffs! i was FUMING and ready to jump outta the car and start yelling at the other cars to get a goddamn fucking move on i got places to be people to see! just ugh. so frustrating. the only upside of taking so long to get to the stadium was that by the time we got there my phone was almost 100%...

anyway, finally at 7.25pm we got there and thru all the checks etc (my joke of a miniature purse was shown as an example to another girl with a slightly bigger purse and praised by security for being perfect size which pissed me off because of their dumbass rules it had is smaller then my regular WALLET ffs and it barely even fits my phone so in no way is it a ‘perfect size’ except maybe for dolls or tiny aliens. but they had the stupid clear bag / tiny purse rule in effect and all i cared at that point was getting in so whatever. still, fucking terrorists. obviously also for more important reasons than just being the cause of my having to have a tiny purse but yeah fucking terrorists).

the stadium was buzzing already. apparently the 7.30 start was for the warmups so perfect for me. this was the view from our seats.

when we got to our seats, the usa team was out already. and the canarinho was interacting with fans. and then brazil came out.

youtube

ney was warming up with coutinho

after stretches, he did some practice shooting. this one didnt go in.

after that the team went back inside and the canarinho came behind the barriers to interact with the fans (photo below especially taken for a.)

time for the teams to come out. for some reason the tunnel was on my side of the stadium but the benches were on the other side and they lined up there for the anthems. (again, for a.)

youtube

then the us anthem and, since we dont do things here on a small scale, the flag rolled out was the size of the whole stadium lol

in the first half neymar was playing in front of me. in the beginning of the game i took a few photos and then i stopped because i wanted to watch the game and see with my own eyes not concentrate on the phone... still, here they are

here is the penalty. i didnt catch it go in because i was looking at it happening rather then my phone. i also removed the sound cuz there was screaming when it went in lol. it was a VERY soft penalty btw...

youtube

my notes and impressions:

1. it was a friendly so not surprisingly, it was not an edge-of-your-seat game. still brazil dominated the crap out of the usa team. the difference in class and quality was glaringly obvious.

2. it was strange not supporting my country’s team. but only when i thought about it. otherwise my soccering heart belongs to brazil 100%, without a doubt.

3. watching a game live vs tv: both have pros and cons. again, after watching every week on tv, seeing these guys live in person is simply incredible. just absolutely surreal. like, they are moving, running, kicking right in front of you. you can hear the ball being kicked. feel the tension. see what they are doing without the ball. watch their interactions away from the camera. feel the power of the crowd. its just so much more immersive. at the same time, watching at home the curated game content is... convenient. you get closeups. you get facts from the commentators. your bathroom is nearby (i did carefully time my liquid intake that day to avoid venturing into stadium bathrooms and thank god it worked lol). so imo, watching a game on tv is not really that much worse then watching it live. i always felt like i am getting a completely filtered version on tv and it is filtered but it is not horrible. yes, you are missing out on stuff but its not a total loss.

4. the stadium was about 40% full, 32k of 82k capacity. but it felt more like 2/3, probably because on the other side many sections were not even open so most everyone attending was spread out in one long side and the two goal sides.

5. brazil fans were out strong! i’d say about 70% of the people were brazil fans, and of those about 90% had on brazil jerseys. yellow galore lol. the usa fans were constantly chanting but when the brazil fans decided to make the effort they drowned them out easily and completely!

6. the usa fans were in the section behind one of the goals. throughout most of the game i thought oh cute they are constantly singing their hearts out supporting their clearly outplayed loosing team. then they did iceland’s viking chant. yes, it is a cool chant but its iceland’s. idk why so many have been plagiarizing it! first portugal did it in the wc, then i saw another, and now the american outlaws (the usa ultras)... let iceland have its thing people. i did not appreciate it but no big deal. BUT then they did something that pissed me off - few minutes before neymar was substituted in the 80 min they chanted fuck neymar. i was not best pleased to say the least! lick sweaty balls jealous motherfuckers!

7. we did a wave that went around the stadium like 4 times!

8. there was a small group of 13-14yo girls right behind us that whenever ney touched the ball or looked our way screamed ‘neymaaaarrr, neymaaaaarrrrrrrr, vaiiiiiii, vai neymaaaaaaarrrrrrrr’. one girl in particular was especially shrill and vociferous in her dedication to ney. no sense of decorum whatsoever lol. my bf was smirking at me and was like why dont you go sit with them. i on the other hand was thinking that while i wouldnt go sit with them, if some of my tumblr girls were here.... well those girls wouldnt even know what hit them!

9. i would definitely go to a game again!

10. while the seats we had were really good, i wish there was an option to be even closer and still see the whole pitch. then again, for me it would probably only qualify as ‘close enough’ if im allowed to run along the sidelines lol. but then i wont really be able to watch the game. (hey maybe i can hang from the skycam hahaaaa!). yes, i am a neymar fan but i am also a fan of the game so i want both. i did not have any input in the choice of these seats but i think it was a good trade off - the closest where you can both see the guys and actual game. if i have to pick the tickets for the next game (hopefully i will go again some time!), i would be tempted by the lower levels but the barriers are pretty high so... i would probably go for the same - second level first row.

11. there was a guy sitting next to me with his date and he was trying to be all knowledgeable and impress the girl but half the stuff he was telling her was wrong lol! he kept pointing to douglas costa and telling her its firmino. i was cracking myself up listening to him talk complete bullshit but with such grand authority about technical game stuff.

12. at some point a loose ball ended up into the stands, some guy caught it, and 2 min later security came to take it away from him :/ why not let the guy just keep the ball?!? stupid. if it was me, i’d have made a fuss, maybe pretended that it hit me in the face and threatened to sue the stadium cuz they have not ensured the spectators’ safety or some such crap lol. see if they dont let me keep it to avoid a lawsuit.

13. the canarinho (for a.) - he was really great! interacting with the fans, dancing, hugging fans. really a fantastic mascot and absolute joy to watch! during the halftime he was out on the pitch, doing keepie uppies (in those shoes too!!! showing his brazilianness lol), and kicking balls into the stands

14. i was totally impressed by neymar. it was just so obvious how good he is and no, not because i am biased, which i admittedly am. i expected him to be good, duh, but to see it so clearly was amazing. he is not a fluke, he is the real deal. he stands out among even such quality peers as the rest of brazil nt! just something in the way he interacts with the ball, the way he moves, ‘sees’ his teammates without looking, turns on a dime, does the unexpected. i dont think he ‘thinks’ or ‘calculates’ at all his moves or that it is just a lot of practice, i think it is pure instinct in the moment, i.e. phenomenal natural talent. even though this was not one of his greatest games for sure, he just looked... special and different from the rest. most of the brazil players were displaying their clearly high quality but there is just something unique in the way neymar plays. even if you dont know who he is, what teams are playing, anything at all, you’d still pick him out and know that there is something extraordinary about this guy. if you unfocus your eyes so you see just all same yellow shirt figures, you would still be able to pick out which one is neymar. he did a bit of his skills and tricks and of course i wished he had done more. what i took away from watching him play live was that, in this average game, he looked as good playing live as he has in the past when i have watched his great games on tv. i dont know why. but watching neymar play live was an experience of its own. it felt like his average ‘live’ performance is as good as his great ‘tv’. i cant even imagine what it would be like watching one of his great performances live. while i dont feel im loosing so much watching games on tv vs live as mentioned above, i definitely feel that watching neymar in particular play live is on another level and im missing out when i watch him on tv instead of live. he is absolutely worth the price of admission. i was so disappointed in him for his wc antics but thats in the past now, and i have been reminded how right it feels to be his fan, not just for the nice things he does for kids/charity, his fun personality (and lets not forget the good looks, and oh boy they are SO GOOD lol) but his undeniably outstanding talent on the pitch. his game is just incredible. i hope he keeps healthy. i hope he gets his temper under control not just for a few games but for good. and i pray he always has the freedom to shine like he rightfully can. i am rooting for him to get the appreciation and acknowledgement he deserves, unadulterated by behavioral issues or personal drama.

ok, imma stop now. this post is huge, even by my standards.

#brazil nt #brazil vs usa #neymar #thiago silva #marquinhos #alisson #filipe luis #willian #roberto firmino #9-7-2018 #game

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djrelentless · 7 years

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This Is Us

It's June 12th. 2017 (the anniversary of the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando) and I'm trying to get in the spirit of celebrating Pride this year. While I am reflecting on the tragic incident that happened in my home state, I still feel sad for the loss and can't seem to get in the celebratory spirit. It's hard because I'm watching a class warfare divide and conquer the LGBT Community of Toronto. Everyone is still fighting over what happened last year at the Pride parade when Mathieu Chantelois and Pride board of directors decided to use Black Lives Matters as a political statement to show how inclusive they were by inviting the group to be grand marshals. The only thing was, Black Lives Matters knew what that move was really about…a fake olive branch to show how diverse Toronto is after World Pride.

Apparently Mathieu had impressed the board so much with his planning and connections for the previous Pride that they gave him complete control over the 2016 celebration. Along with such moves he spent thousands of dollars on bringing a lot performers, gay celebrities and DJs from out of town to make appearances for Pride weekend while kind of marginalizing the locals and people of color. Now, for a certain demographic of the LGBT Community this was fabulous! They really felt like Toronto was a world class city after World Pride in 2015. The only problem was that by the time we got to the 2016 parade the world had changed a lot. With the rise of police brutality and racial profiling in the United States all over the news, many people of color were forming their own chapters of Black Lives Matters in solidarity. So, there was all kinds of tension bubbling under the surface when this invitation was extended to the group. Given that the organization felt like they were being used for a photo-opportunity, and it seems to me Black Lives Matters decided to use this opportunity to protest and make their voices known that people of color are not living the same existence in the LGBT Community as their counterparts…white gays.

Well, we all know the headlines of what happened at the parade and how Mathieu faked a signing of their demands to get it back moving. He bragged about it in the news that next day. One of the demands that BLM asked for was that "no uniformed police officers be on a float in the parade" since many of the people of color had been harassed and profiled by the police in their neighborhoods and on the streets of Toronto. So, if you have never been treated this way by the police this demand seemed outrageous…unheard of. But to put this in perspective….this is like the difference between living in a building with a doorman as opposed to living in a building with security guards patrolling it. These are two completely different experiences when you think of home.

Okay…so BLM took to social media to complain and express their distaste with Mr. Chantelois' backhanded move at the parade. That's when things really started heating up. the two weeks after the parade I tried to organize a closed door meeting with the an elected official, Pride Committee, Black Lives Matters and other disgruntled local performers/DJs to discuss and hammer out a solution for this year's event. 'Cuz, it wasn't just about racial discourse…it was also about ageism and other marginalized issues in last year's festivities. Well, apparently some were too busy or going on vacation to meet. There were a couple of people who were willing to come sit at the table but mainly because tempers were so hot most ignored my calls and emails.

But to really get to the meat of the problem we have to rewind Toronto's Pride history back to 2013. I guess this would be the year that I became the pariah to Pride. That was the year that I was checking my facebook account before going to bed around 6 AM on the Monday of Pride week and saw a posting of a drag queen in blackface. All I wrote was "I don't even know what to say about this" and left it at that. I didn't even go back to the post because it was an accepted fact that this performer was known on Church Street for being offensive and pushing buttons. Plus I had already seen another performer doing numbers at Woody’s dressed as a Middle Eastern woman with a bomb belt….and this was considered to normal entertainment for the gay village. I did read a post complaining about that performance but the powers that control the hiring, firing and booking did nothing. The complaint was from a person of color and it was only one. So, it was paid no mind.

So, I got a phone call from a fellow DJ who told me to go back to the blackface post because my husband and I were being crucified in the comments. Unaware that my husband had gone an expressed his dislike for the photo while I was sleeping, I was kinda shocked to read some of the comments. Especially the ones telling me and him to go back to the US and stop trying to spread democracy across Canada with our African-American problems. Don't believe me…I have the facebook thread saved as proof and you won't believe some of the people who said these things. Even people of color were coming to this performer's defense. The funny thing is…my husband is Canadian and white.

Well, since I tend to write better than I speak I decided to write a blog pointing out that Canada isn't as innocent as it thinks it is when it comes to racism. The myth that it doesn't exist here was shattered by all the news clippings I pointed out from 2010 to the present time of the blackface incident. That went over like a lead-ballon. Folks don't like to be reminded of the misgivings and definitely not how they are not as inclusive as they would like others to believe. The facebook posts and my blog made it to the Toronto Star.The performer who did blackface got fired from hosting the main stage for Pride that year. It was all blamed on me. I was the bad guy and the establishment I worked for even sat me down to give a light threat that my job was on the line for speaking out. They didn't do it out fear that I would go to press again, but this made many who had embraced me step back. A few people of color had my back but that number could be counted on both hands….not the POC Community at large.

And then came another racial incident where I was the DJ for Toronto's only Drag King night. It was going good…until I discovered that all the performers were white and a few did Hip Hop material with the n-word in it. Being the only person of color in the room some nights, it was really hard to watch white lesbians lip-syncing the word "nigga" to a room full of mostly white lesbians. So, I posted one night while I was working that I had decided to quit because of what I was witnessing and being subjected to. The troupe's only transgendered man ripped me a new one on facebook in a very long rant. Claiming that I was trying to control their show and content. Another ironic thing I just read the other day….a Xtra article asking why there aren't any spaces for Drag Kings in the gay village.

I bring all these things up to pose a question. I wonder what would have happened had we as a community addressed these issues back then. What if more people of color had stood up and said "Hey! Blackface has no place in our community!" What if the lesbians of color stood up and said "Hey…this isn't cool to be using that kind of language in your shows." Do you think that we as the LGBT Community could have really made everyone feel included in the conversation and a part of the solutions? I mean…if we can't acknowledge there is or was a problem how can we move forward?

Yesterday I posted a link about Philadelphia’s amended rainbow flag that has black and brown stripes added. Like with most things that are happening on social media today, there was much push back against this idea. The community that is supposed to be so inclusive has really shown their true colors about unity. Arguments that this is some power move by people of color to undermine our community shows exactly why and how we got here today. From flat out calling the idea "bullshit" to just wanting to lash out because the flag and pride celebration that catered to this demographic was being disrupted by people who should leave things the way they are. We've come so far and they are trying to tear it all down with division.

Yeah…this what some in the community actually believe.

But let's look at the other side of the story. The majority of the people of color in Toronto who joined Black Lives Matters are black and of Caribbean decent. For most, their living standard is definitely not like a Mathieu Chantelois. They don't have the luxury to run over to Montreal for the weekend whenever they feel like it. They don't have a cottage or tickets to a circuit party. I want you to take a moment and think about that for a second... If you can do these things on a semi-regular basis, you have no idea what it is like to be a gay person of color barely paying your bills on time. And just because you have a friend or two who can do these things that does not mean that everyone is in that same position. I have plenty of friends who are in better standings in life than I am and they have no clue that I'm just a poor man struggling to keep on top of things.

The bottom line is this all comes down to money. The Black Community does not have any financial power in the mainstream LGBT Community in Toronto. Hell…there isn't even a black gay bar in this town. For many they are regulated to separate parties thrown by DJ Blackcat (and thank God for him continuing year after year to find spaces to throw these events). I bet many of the white gays don't even know who he is. But you should. He and a few others are the backbone of black events in Toronto. These are the people you should be going to when planning the big Pride events. They are the real voices of the Black Community. I'll tell you someone else who should be at that table….Kerolos Saleib. He runs a party called Arabian Knights that welcomes everyone but is themed for the Middle Eastern LGBT community. Someone from El Convento Rico should be on the committee for Pride planning. It's just basic common sense. Local people who are already working in the community and a part of it.

Granted…there are some issues with the Black Lives Matters protest. Since they mainly have no financial power it is hard to sit at that table. "What money are you bringing to Pride?" The white gays spend money and that's just a fact. I can remember when I first got here to Toronto I started a Vogue night at a bar that no longer exists. The Ballroom kids came out for it. It was a cute little crowd. But they had no money to spend on drinks. I told one of the main voguers that he and his friends needed to start buying some drinks or that night was not going to last. He looked at me like I shot his mother. But the truth is…your dollars are like your vote in situations. The push back that Black Lives Matters received wasn't all based on racism. Some of it was financial. And although some funding comes from the City, it would be great to see everyone working together to raise some funds and build the community as a whole. This would be a solution to getting everyone involved and participating.

And although it is good to see Olivia Nuamah at the helm this year, there's been push back against her as a British woman of color. I love that she is definitely making strides to reach out to not only the marginalized but as well as those in position of authority. Her experience as a community builder and work in the non-profit / government sector is very impressive, but I still think that the board needs to be compiled of local promoters. Imagine if Fly, Crews & Tangos, El Convento, Club 120, Blyss, Woodys, Striker Sports Bar, Flash and Statlers all were at the same table making plans together to accommodate all the diversity that Toronto has to offer. Promoters like MOJO, Blackcat and Kerolos coming together to make the ultimate plan that includes everyone and features the best of our local talented performers and DJs. Would we be at this place right now? Arguing over stripes on a flag…attacking each other for any posts that we don't personally agree with or understand?

For those who are so adamantly against the change for the flag, someone posted on my facebook page "Why don't they just make their own flag?" Well…we are. We are taking the rainbow and adding black and brown stripes for the people who want to show their solidarity for the people of color who feel that they are not being represented. You don't have to carry that flag. This amendment doesn't devalue or diminish the rainbow flag that has been the symbol of our community for many decades. In fact, the original design had eight stripes and was proposed to get away from the pink triangle that was associated with the Nazi branding of homosexuals in the camps. I personally don't think the new design will catch on. Although I do think it would be brilliant because the Black and brown could also cover the Leather and Bear Communities as well. Why not? Let's get everyone on the flag. Just know that my interpretation doesn't effect yours. Just like your opinion doesn't effect mine…unless we compromise.

The LGBT Community is constantly evolving. Just look at all the new terms that have been added to make everyone feel represented. So, to allow others to wave their own flag is part of evolving. We have to grow if we are going to accommodate the future. And the words we use for ourselves are just as important. The ones we use and the ones we omit all play a part in how we communicate with each other.I mean, the omission of a few words like "in uniform on a float" turned this town into a war zone of words. No one said "no police at the parade" in the demands of Black Lives Matters. Click-bait media did that. And it gave an excuse for those who have been harboring feelings of exclusion to express them openly. Now it has turned into "no police in the parade" because that's what was put out there to stir up controversy. "Shut up and sit down" is basically what many feel like they are being told. Well, I think the folks who fought at Stonewall were tired of just going along with the program. Had those queens and lesbians not fought with the police would we be here trying to celebrate pride at all?

United we stand….divided we fall. We've come too far to stumble now.

I didn't write this to divide us. I wrote it to hopefully inspire all of us to start really working on a solution on how to move forward from this point on. When I look at Toronto I see such potential. On paper it looks like Toronto has everything covered and everyone accounted for, but the reality is that some of our brothers and sisters are being left behind and most are not paying attention or even care. That is the heart of the matter….realizing that what effects me actually effects you. And this is why I do as much as I can to give back in my own way. You can't just take, take, take…..you gotta give back and contribute.

So, on this day when 49 people lost their lives in a senseless shooting in Orlando, Florida I am hoping to awaken some people to the idea that we need to be united. That shooting could have happened anywhere in the world. We need to get back to being a community that cares and uplifts each other. Just a thought...

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tired-buh-cute · 6 years

Text

It’s 4:22AM - this is for future me

May 24, 2018.

It’s 4:22 AM and I’m wide awake listening to Through and Through. I just took my underwear off so I can get more comfortable in bed. I’m writing because I should start journaling again.

Benefits of journaling (Goals):

-improve writing

-improve creativity

-improve mental and emotional health

-a chance to remember and reminisce on moments in life

-maybe I can solve issues better by writing it down

Yesterday was interesting. Sidenote: it’s fucking hard to type shit on keyboard when your nails are long AF....cut them short and fix your damn keyboard...then maybe you’ll like writing more.

Anyways,

Woke up next to -A- with a slight headache from drinking the night before. -A- bought the Capriccio limited edition Sangria and we got drunk off of two bottles of that stuff. We also fucked. Oh, and to add suspense into the drama...my most recent ex boyfriend drunk called me that night.

Side track of my ADD mind...

I was just thinking about my ex while starring at my desk where I have some of my mini drawings decorated on the side. My thoughts led to the importance of keeping your inner child. I believe that our creative side is proof that we still try to keep the inner child within us. This is evident in the way you decorate your personal space with the objects and things that lie around your room. My personal space is a representation of myself both who I am inside and what I want to convey to the world.

Then my thoughts led me to being “ready when you’re ready.” My ex boyfriend’s bedroom is a great example of keeping your inner child alive. His room is decked out with objects and things that he likes such as stickers, posters, art works etc. I guess the part that led me to think about being “ready” is the fact that he hasn’t really grown up yet. Men tend to mature later in life and that’s okay. I think people devalue the idea that some people, particularly young men and women ages of 18-30, who may not be ready for adulthood. People love to pressure people to grow up and act mature and make adult decisions but I think as a community we need to start being more understanding of people’s time.

Side note: Just went to go cut my nails so that I can write more comfortably. It feels a little weird mostly due to the acrylic nails that I just cut and not quite sure that if I file them, they might feel better and as i write this I’m thinking about just doing it anyways cuz who the fuck is here to tell me that i can’t get up and walk like three feet away to my bathroom where a nail file is waiting for me to pick up and use and test if it will actually make my nails feel more comfortable to live with. But I’m too lazy and the temperature of the room is slightly cool which makes my half naked body want to stay curled up under the furry blankets in bed. Also, my tummy slightly hurts...probably because I forgot to take my damn birth control again. *sighs*

Back to the subject at hand....or is it in hand....God fucking fuck English..or my poor memorization skills on how to properly execute things like grammar.

By understanding people’s time, we’re able to give them less anxiety or depression and more love and healing. Less people would get divorced and more people would be satisfied with their lives. I’m sure there are plenty of other after effects of understanding people’s time but as of now this is all I can say.

Anyways...

The rest of the day went like this:

we showered....sex...of course he didn’t finish me...I was sore at this point. Uhh...got ready...then he left...I stayed home and cooked a giant omelet because we have so much onions and i don’t want it to go to waste

Sidenote: Get into this no food waste life. Look into how to save food

I digress.

...then took a nap...then hung out with my roommates...got my hair braided...OH and found out i finally got an interview with one of the jobs I applied for! This was for Adventist Healthcare. I also received an email about being in the E-board for the Transfer 2 Terp Organization! And then...got ready for my “date.”

I guess it wasn’t really a date. I met up with him and it was okay at first...he seemed nervous. We walked around and talked for a little bit. Gave him a chance to ask me questions...it bothered me how he seemed a little stupid for a guy in the IT field. Like he would ask questions that were just mentioned and or obvious on the menu etc.

After that, went to Big Bear Cafe to do some work. It was my first time at that cafe and thought it was the cutest hipster spot. I would definitely go back...no, I must go back. Hopefully next time with a cute date or something.

A little after that -M- ( a man with potential ) messages me out of the blue asking to meet up for a dinner date. I will have a separate post dedicated to this -M- partly because of how untraditional things have been....then again isn’t my life like that anyways...nothing ever goes “normal” anymore. Gotta keep notes of them though.

Anyways, so -M- and I were having a small dispute, or not really, about where to go and what to do so we finally decided to meet up and decide what to do back at Union Market. Now, mind you, I was just there with a different guy...how funny do I look going back to the same spot with another dude.....and I’m sure the workers have seen me with -A-’s arm around me there. *sigh*

On my way to go meet him, -A- decides to phone me....I explain to him how I feel super ugly at that moment and how I’m about to meet up with a guy. I sense no jealousy...so until today I think he’s ok. I definitely was feeling ugly at that moment mostly because I suddenly started breaking out cystic acne. The last time I broke out giant planet size pimples were months ago!....I also gained 10lbs. I felt fat, greasy, and ugly. My braids were getting itchy, my curls were unravelling, and my skirt kept going down...I had a crisis, but I played it well. Finally met up with him and from afar I saw him in his suit and tie outfit....Godaaammmm..... Why do women (by women I mean myself) have this weakness for men in proper clothing?

Fast forward to the meeting...we check out this Caribbean restaurant, but he’s vegetarian so it was a total waste! We just get drinks, then we head to the restaurant next door for actual food but my stupid ass was already full. *SIGH*

Overall I thought it was ok, he’s ok...definitely picked up some pink flags on him:

- Wants to help with future business/ Non profit ideas that i have BUT could also just be stealing ideas for himself

- Says he hasn’t let any women go over his new place BUT could be lying and has multiple women

- Looking for a relationship BUT could possibly just be saying that so that he can get women to stay

- Says he believes its healthy not to hang out all the time BUT could be saying that so that he has chances to meet with other women...

Either way remember to keep your guard up. This is all a game in the beginning. Always date other men until he shows signs of loyalty....don’t get butthurt!

Ok!

The end.

#mp #rant #journal 1

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