im so serious i need TAKINA SPECIFICALLY to beat majima up until he cannot move an inch anymore

I love your head canons so much! I humbly requst Majima with a partner who has depression and how he would be with them on days when they're just a ball of Sadness for seemingly no reason. (Gotta love that depression logic...)

Majima lives rent-free in my head as a comfort character, so I just crave soft things about him xD Hope you're having a great day!

As someone with depression, I can confirm Majima is the comfort character of choice. Don't ask me why that is, it's just science at this point I guess. Headcanons below da cut.

On days where you have major downswings, he kind of just mirrors your behavior. Are we laying in bed all day? Okay. Are we sitting on the couch and binging an entire TV show in less a half a day? Word. Are we ordering more takeout delivery than we possibly could ever need or want? Bet. Whatever you're doing, he's doing it too.

Don't mistake that for him having a mini vacation to himself though. Truthfully, he's watching you like a hawk and measuring mentally to himself how you might be feeling or what you may need. He can absolutely give you space if that's what you need but the only way he can learn if that's what you need is by being near you in the first place. Don't question his logic. It wouldn't make sense to anyone else anyways.

Majima isn't the type of guy to try to cheer you up or distract your way through this. He doesn't necessaily have depression specifically, least not as far as he knows, but he's definitely felt some devastatingly low points. He understands what it's like to want to have someone there to just share the moment with, even if nothing is spoken or done.

That's kind of his whole approach to it. He'll just sit and wait with you, carefully contemplating what he'll do or say. He will occassionally ask how you're feeling or if you need anything but he won't press for specifics if you give a non-answer or just an "I don't know".

Some things he does pretty regularly on days like this if just sort of feed you snacks. Not in a baby type way, he'll just be sitting or more often than not laying on the floor next to you and he'll just point a pretzel stick at your face. No words, just hands you a snack. He finds funny ways to make sure you're fed at the very least.

Another thing he does is he'll give you a bath if you're just feeling like a sack of potatoes and you don't want to move. Need help washing your back? Done. Need help washing your hair? Done. Need help blow drying your hair, doing skincare, painting your nails? Done, done, and done.

If Majima has any words of comfort to offer, it's almost always along the lines of "It's okay to feel this way, ya know. I ain't goin' anywhere." Majima understands better than most of the boys that sometimes you don't need an Ichiban-style pick me up or a Kiryu-type of motivation to get through things. Sometimes you just have to handle things as they come. That's always kind of been his style anyways.

So you gave us your best yakuza daddies list.. What about 10 of the least-daddiest?

You asked for it... And now You Will Get It! Welcome to shimano-futoshi's TOP TEN LEAST DADDIEST DADDIES OF THE YAKUZA!!!

And Now... NUMBER 10....!!!

10: KANDA TSUYOSHI:

Me: Can we get Shimano? Mom: We have Shimano at home. Shimano at home:. What a disgraceful excuse for a daddy. Like, it's obvious he's trying to be Japan's Next Top Shimano but it's FAILING. You are FAILING, Kanda. Do us a favour and just go. Leave. You will NEVER BE A DADDY!!!

9: SHIBUSAWA KEIJI:

Wow. Just wow. You didn't even try, did you Shibusawa? That underwhelming suit, that hairstyle you'd catch on a twelve year old trying to look like his favourite Tick Tock influencers. And what have you brought to the Yakuza, Shibusawa? Oh? The final boss of Y0? The shadowy manipulator behind the curtain? Oh, yes, I remember that, but only because you SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN!! Talk about disappointing villains. Should've stayed the tertiary, mate. Never will you be DADDY!

8: NIHARA TAKASHI:

Look, Nihara, I like you. I really do. More... Granddaddy material though. I get what you're trying to do, but I don't think it's working. Like, "acting chairman"? Really? Big whoop. I'm sorry grandpa, but I hope you've got your bus pass, because only DADDIES will be getting a ride home with me!

7: SHINDO KOJI:

Do you like daddy's katana, kitten? This guy looks like he frequents right wing message boards and that IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIES HIM FOR DADDYSHIP. I don't care how many slurs you call me or how your dad will get me banned from Discord, you will not be a daddy for as long as I live and breathe, Shindo!. And no, I also don't care that your "kittens" seem to think so. They're stupid and probably get their DDLG knowledge from Tumblr.

6: TACHIBANA TETSU:

Hm. Ok, ok, like, I get you. Sugar Daddy and all that, but you're just too TWINKY, Tachibana! It looks like your face hasn't changed since you were 5! Don't get me wrong, you're adorable, but DADDIES AREN'T ADORABLE! Goodbye, but take this link for my Amazon wishlist with you if you'd rather be above a few more on this list ;)

5: NISHIKIYAMA AKIRA (PRE-EVILIFICATION):

Suffers from Tachibana-itis... Too twinky! Too adorable! Don't worry, Baby Nishiki, you will grow up to be quite the daddy one day, but for now, we will have to wait... However, I am getting quite impatient. Wait, are you? Are you crying??? That is NOT DADDY BEHAVIOUR! GET OUT, you're making the chair soggy!

4: MEDIA KING:

There is nothing "king" about you, Media King... Daddies must be clean, well dressed, and humble. But you look greasy, are dressed in these gaudy, awful clothes, and are a self proclaimed "king"? I'm afraid your words mean nothing because DADDIES ARE CHOSEN, and you certainly haven't been, today! Also, why did your boss fight have to take so long to get to? The mere fact that I had to see your Bars Go Up for HOURS made me sick of you before we even met.

3: PATRIARCH GONDAWARA:

How much more opposite to a daddy could you get, Gondawara!? Diapers are for BABIES, dummies are for BABIES! You don't see any DADDIES DOING POOPY in their pants, do you?! No, I didn't think so! You may be number one baby, but you are number three worst DADDY! Now get out of here, I'm sure it's nap time.

2: NISHIDA:

Babyface strikes yet again, but dear Nishida here hasn't even TRIED to do anything to up his daddiness... You see, DADDIES TAKE CONTROL, Nishida, but you're content with being number two. That's just not going to cut the mustard, but I'm sure you'd need someone to do that for you anyway! Now go on, shoo, I think I hear Majima calling for his tea!

And, finally, the LEAST DADDIEST DADDY OF ALL YAKUZA EVER IS...

1: TERADA YUKIO:

What have we learned in this list? That daddies must be HANDSOME, able to take CONTROL, have an IMPECCABLE WARDROBE, and be SURE OF THEIR DECISIONS. Terada. You fall into ZERO of these categories. You look like a sentient thumb, the Tojo was in shambles while you were chairman, your outfit is atrociously boring, and you couldn't decide if you wanted to be dead or not! Look at you. What a disgrace! Truly the WORST DADDY to have ever lived, died, lived again, and died again! My only regret is you not dying for a third time! Oh, and you also KILLED THE NUMBER ONE DADDY SHIMANO! Even if you worked your hardest. Bought all the plastic surgery you could, wrangled the Tojo into submission, replaced all your clothes with Gucci and decided to Live On... You could never be a Daddy. Not after what you've done. Your Shin (Shimano Sin) is too great, and for that you will remain Yakuza's Least Daddiest Daddy for the rest of eternity.

Okay, so, as promised: I will rant about/discuss Majima and the way I perceive him and the way he changed between y0 and y1

This is absolutely just my opinion, but I just saw someone on a message board rage about how they "broke" Majima by making him be the way he is in Y0 and by making him only ever fake all the crazy persona and that this ruins him

But. Hear me out. Just a second, if you please.

First things first: Do I think giving Majima a soft interior fitting to his back story was a bad decision? No. To me, this just gives him depth. Sure, I *love* our crazy dude and all the shenanigans he gets up to. I really do. But those little moments, even in later games and the facts that he calms down somewhat later? That, to me, elevates him from being a caricature and easy, overdrawn one off joke to a full, thought-out character with a psyche and reason to the madness.

That is the second thing. The person I read the rant of went on about how it was a shame that Majima only "acts crazy because he is afraid of other yakuza". I would humbly disagree. Yes, I do agree that realizing Shimano and others used him as a puppet and being predictable played a huge part in wanting to be more unpredictable- but: I think he took more than just "let's be random now" from all of this. When he said "I'm gonna have more fun and live crazier than any of 'em",you might think it's for the fun and games of it. However, I would like to point to the dialogue between Majima and Awano, after you beat Awano. Majima reflects on how he knew people who "lived like idiots and died like idiots" "but that batshit crazy lifestyle... I'd say it made 'em some of the finest bastards I'd ever known." He thought of the obvious Nishitani, but also of Wen Hai Lee. And this, THIS together with the goodbye scene with Sagawa drives me insane in the good way.

Sure, he took obvious fight moves and other mannerisms from Nishitani. But I have 2 points of contention here. 1) When fighting him, you keep getting into situations in which they mirror each other pre Majima snapping/deciding to "change" (I will explain the "" in a bit) 2) In my opinion, if there was no prior interest in being like this/some sort of seed within Majima himself, none of this would work. Hear me out. The way Majima fights (even without the Lengendary style) is batshit. And he always does it. He learns it by himself. It's a natural progression to him. Even Komaki points out at the very beginning that there is a fire in Majima, that there is a hunger for something more. We all KNOW he was caged in in civilian life. He even says so. He is meticulous and good at what he does, because he is friggin SMART and knows how to get what he needs/wants so he can get the hell out and back to what he actually wants to do.

So, I propose to you all, who had the patience to read all this: Both sides ARE Majima. Yes. He goes overboard in his Mad Dog persona. But I do not think that it is entirely fake. It is him letting lose on impulses he had anyways and pushing them a little farther than reason dictates- this is what he learned from Nishitani BUT he also learned a lot from Lee and (hold the Pee Pee man jokes, please) Sagawa. From Lee, whom he mentions in the same breath AS Nishitani, he learns that he can be insane AND compassionate. He can be insanely compassionate, if he is so inclined. He can be whatever the fuck he wants to be, who will stop him? And his stubbornness? The way he lets nothing get in his way? He points out how, even when shit hit the fan, Sagawa was always steadfast, tenacious and even literally says he will strife to have that quality, too.

That is the next point. He finds his strength. Nobody can get in his way, as soon as his mind is set. And why? Nothing left to lose. He realizes that that, as sad as it is, makes him a lose cannon. His fighting prowess covers the rest. Who wants to stand in the way of a mad man with nothing left to lose and the physical means to get pretty darn far? Hardly anyone, huh? Essentially, as he puts it himself, "Goro Majima is gonna live his own way".

This way being: He listens only to himself and his own impulses (rationality or not) honesty is the best rule, stop at nothing to get what you want and use your brain so nobody can use you. (And sometimes the kindness he can only show as insanity still shines through aka why the fandom has fallen in love)

So. Is it all fake? I don't think so. Was is a conscious decision? Yes. Does he go overboard with it? HAVE YOU SEEN THE GUY?! But, and that is my last sentiment, I think to everything he does, there is a thought and a glimmer of truth to every batshit thing he does. At heart he still is kind and he still has traits from Y0. He is not just a cut and dry one way or the other kind of character and THAT is what makes him so interesting. At least to me.

Why I love Kazuma Kiryu

He pretty much joined the Yakuza for the honourable and respectable side of things. Being inspired mainly by the man that he would view as a FATHER to him. This has of course caused a great deal of conflict when the majority of that syndicate is corrupted in comparison. (And yet, that very fact will not be enough to break him or bring him down in forming a better family)

He is INCREDIBLY LOYAL, the moment he begins to view you as a friend, or even family.

He is INCREDIBLY SWEET AND CARING towards children, even back before he had decides to run an orphanage. Many a times not only helping them, but happily joining them in activities (Such as Pocket Circuit Racing and MesuKing) adults would view much too childish to them.

He drinks that RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. While he never wants any harm to come to them, he also acknowledges their ability to kick ass (Eg, he murmurs an awed “Sugoi…” when witnessing a woman knee a man in the face for accidentally landing into her bosom).

He is an LGBT ALLY. For despite earlier on not necessarily knowing all that much about trans people, he is more than willing to listen and learn. And soon enough support and protect them against scum (Eg, Kiryu allowed a trans woman to open up to him about her fears of not being accepted by her lover. And after getting a better understanding of what being trans is like, of course supports her the best he can).

He is humble as all fook, despite being seen as a legend in both the underworld (And even in some parts of the curious public eye itself) as the years go by. Many a times has he tried to shed the namesake DRAGON OF DOJIMA, but is just never able to.

He is surprisingly forgiving, once he believes that someone can change themselves for the better. Despite how awful they have been in the past.

And while the games have goofed a bit when pertaining to this, Kiryu has never actually killed. And refuses to ever do so. (Beating the crap out of others and making them WISH FOR DEATH, however, is another story)

He is never afraid to admit that he is wrong, and is very well aware of his own flaws.

He is incredibly comfortable in his own masculinity, and is so never expresses discomfort or disgust towards anyone in situations that he is unfamiliar with. And often times even just plays along (Such as whe interacting with Majima when he is in his drag persona Goromi).

While many bear a reasonable fear and wariness towards the Mad Dog of Shimano, Kiryu himself has always admired and respected his NII-SAN. Sure, there are times when he himself gets exasperated from the man’s antics. But he knows that if there’s anyone that he can depend on when the going gets tough, it’s him.

By this point, Kiryu lives for the ones that he loves-- and most notably HARUKA. Always ready to put his life on the line for them, with a moment’s hesitation. In this world where he will probably never be able to find any real peace, its his kids that are the ones that gives him the strength he needs... and the happiness that he will probably never find anywhere else.

The Teacup Awards! (2019)

So, as holes begin to form in the parachute of time and we fall with gathering speed towards the hard ground of inevitability, we must bid good day to 2019. Another year of political upheaval as the Brexit circus marches on, the American president continues to document every thought in the form of a tweet and the English public prove themselves to be the best foot marksmen around. It was also a year of upheaval in my own life, with a new job and a new home to grapple with. Still, it was an interesting year for games. In part because of how few 2019 releases caught my eye. Because of that I looked back over the last few years, helped by the Humble Monthly bundle, and found a few gems that I missed. So, as usual, these awards will go to games I wrote about this year, rather than just released this year. Otherwise they’d be a little bare. Oh and I’m afraid we’ve lost the horror game award, due to lack of games. I’ll bring it back next year.

The ‘Tea Stained Page’ Award For Best Writing

Runner Up - Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice

There’s a strange thing in visual media where less writing can actually be better. Overwriting something can lead to it becoming weaker, as all mystery and personal connection are systematically destroyed. Hellblade understands that better than most. Most of its writing is given to the voices inside Senua’s head and offer up different interpretations of what’s going on. Some of them are hostile, while others offer encouragement. It’s a fairly unique way of setting up the protagonist. Tied in with the intriguing nordic setting, it makes it one hell of a well written game. Shame about the gameplay, but you can’t have everything.

Winner - The Outer Worlds

I had high hopes for The Outer Worlds. Made by the minds behind the original Fallout games, and my long term flame Fallout: New Vegas, I was hoping for some great character writing with original quests. I pretty much got what I wanted. While some of the quests weren’t exactly as original as hoped, the characters were all charming, deep people. There wasn’t anyone in my party that I excluded because I thought they were boring. Instead, I exhausted everyone’s dialogue trees.

I don’t think I’ve ever done that before, come to think on it. There’s always someone who gets kicked to the curb. If that’s not a testament to good writing, I don’t know what is. Like Hellblade, it suffers from gameplay issues but those almost fade into the background. Instead, it’s just a fun romp through space with a varied, interesting crew of nutjobs. Along with characters, it’s also got various flavours of well-written capitalism. Truly, all things to all men.

The ‘Head Nod’ Award For Best Soundtrack

Runner Up - Ori and The Blind Forest

Apparently, only fifty percent of people get goosebumps when listening to music. That’s a shame, because ‘Completing the Circle’ from Ori and the Blind Forest caused an explosion of goosebumps up my arm. It’s absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, I made a bad call of listening to it at work which brutally killed my productivity until it was over. There are other gems in the soundtrack too, with a mix of beautiful serenity and fast paced action. Damn, everything in this game is beautiful.

Winner - Katana Zero

When the protagonist of Katana Zero starts a level, he pulls out a pair of headphones and presses play on his walkman. Then the music starts. It creates this odd sense that we’re listening to the music through the protagonist, complete with all the time reversal and everything. It’s also a rare case of the soundtrack becoming part of the story. Our ‘hero’ is so desensitised to what he’s doing that he’s playing music while brutally killing people. But that’s by the by.

What we’re here for is some catchy synthwave tunes to kill along with. ‘Third District’ is a standout, being strangely relaxing for a game where death is only a failed slice away. But that’s kind of the point. Zero is chilling out. He already knows how this is gonna go. Then you’ve got the more faster paced songs, like the requisite disco song, ‘Hit the Floor’. The best comparison I can make is to DEADBOLT. Equally laid back soundtracks that somehow link together with horrific, bloody murder.

The ‘Perfect Cuppa’ For Best Looking Game

Runner Up - Spyro Reignited

Spyro Reginited Trilogy was a bit of a shock, to be honest. I’ve never been too invested in remakes, as they seem to be creative vacuums by nature. Spyro slipped me by when it was big, however, so I thought I’d give it a look. I’m glad I did, as I was greeted by a slick and smooth platformer. What did strike me was how bright and colourful it was. It just looks like a nice place to me. A variety of bright colours, helped by our bright purple dragon.

Winner - Ori and the Blind Forest

Before I played it, Ori and the Blind Forest struck me as an ‘art game’. The type of game that looks really nice as a cover up for its weak gameplay. That wasn’t quite the case, as Ori’s platforming is pretty good (though let down a bit by the combat). That’s not why we’re here though. We’re here because it looks absolutely bloody beautiful. The ‘blind forest’ relates to a part in the story where the forest withers, with Ori being one beacon of light in this dark place. This interplay of light is one reason why it looks so beautiful.

The forest starts off dark with twinkling areas of light throughout. As you progress through the game, life begins to return to the forest and you go off to new locations that all look different. There’s a cave full of lava, for example, or there’s the dark and mysterious Misty Woods. Either way, wherever you go, you’ll find somewhere that looks good. Can’t wait for Ori and the Will of the Wisps.

The ‘Spilled My Tea, Punk’ Award For Best Action Game

Runner Up - One Finger Death Punch 2

Sometimes simple is better. To make a fun game, sometimes you only need one button. Though, to be honest, I used two fingers, thus invalidating the point of the game. For shame. Still, One Finger Death Punch 2 has found new ways to make twatting stickmen challenging. It calls back to those old flash animations, with the exaggerated moves to send the variously coloured enemies flying. It may not look like much when you’re looking at the screenshots of it but I promise you: it’s a damn exciting game.

Winner - Yakuza 0

Another surprise this one. I got it through the Humble Monthly bundle and installed it while not really expecting much. I’d heard a few things about it, mainly how crazy and over the top parts of it were, but I wasn’t expecting to be quite so blown away. There is some madcap zaniness, of course, but layered on top of that is a serious crime story about a low level Yakuza drawn into something far bigger than him. Enter Kazama Kiryu, smart, stoic and with one hell of a heavy fist or two.

That leads us to the action part of the game. It’s split into three styles, Steady, Speedy and Heavy. Or Brawl, Rush and Crash if you want the proper names. The most exciting parts of these being the Heat Actions. Special moves that play out when proper conditions are met. Grappling someone near a wall, for example, will cause Kiryu (or Majima if you’re on his storyline) to throw them against the wall and then break a couple of ribs with his fists. These heat actions make me feel like im in a proper action film and for that, and many other reasons, Yakuza 0 is a clear winner.

The ‘Perfectly Brewed’ Award For Best Revisited

Runner Up - Rayman 2

I finally got around to beating Rayman 2 this year, something I’ve not achieved since I was a kid. While the final boss was atrocious, it is still a great game to me. There is so much imagination filtered down into it. Nothing is predictable, especially not the giant eyeball monster in a hat chasing you down a hallway. It’s like being eaten by Mike Wazowski’s big brother. Couple that with some fairly decent 3D platforming (as decent as it could be in those games) and you’ve got yourself one hell of a Rayman game. I am glad it went back to 2D though.

Winner - Danganronpa

I’ve played games like Danganronpa before, most notably Ace Attorney. However, in that series the worst that could happen is a client being found guilty. It’s awful but it’s not quite on the same level as Danganronpa. Screw up there and all of your friends will die horrible deaths. That kind of contributes to the whole ‘despair’ thing that hangs over the entire game like a dark shroud. It’s very oppressive; it almost qualifies for a horror game if it wasn’t for all the upbeat anime cheeriness.

It’s an odd blend that. Half the game is figuring out whodunnit, while the other half is hanging out with your friends and giving them gifts. That’s what it makes it so effective. It’s rather a cruel joke, really. Danganronpa makes you care about your friends and then kills them without mercy. While it suffers from the usual problem of you desperately trying to catch on to the developers thread of logic when it comes to the murders, the core gameplay and the writing are both top notch. As is the second one, which you’ll be hearing about on Tuesday!

The ‘Accidental Sugar Lump’ For Biggest Disappointment

Runner Up - Sundered

Sundered had a lot of promise. It’s a Lovecraftian Metroidvania game and both of those things are very exciting. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite deliver on the second one as well as it does the first. The Lovecraftian stuff is there for sure, and lends itself to some good plot notes and strange bosses. Unfortunately, the combat is a total damp squib. It gives no real feedback and there’s rarely a better solution to a problem than spamming the attack button. As a result, playing the game quickly slips down into being a chore. A damn shame.

Winner - Layers of Fear 2

Unfortunately, I feel like this award could probably be named after Bloober Team. They always seem to hit on the right ideas but fail to properly implement them. Layers of Fear had a nice story about a troubled artist that ended with it throwing doll heads at us. Observer led with a great story about hacking into people’s minds but threw in awkward stealth sections and the usual screen wobbliness. Then we get to Layers of Fear 2. A promising story about a method actor blurring the lines between fiction and reality.

Unfortunately, it gets rather too full of itself, making its story take a lot of confusing twists and turns, which makes it hard to figure out who’s who and what they’re doing. Symbolism is haphazardly thrown in so often that it becomes frustrating to try and decipher exactly what it’s saying. That’s when it’s not throwing mannequins at you, for no readily available reason. They literally fall down from above you. All of this leads it to be one unfortunately disappointing title.

The ‘Rate Your Server’ Award For Best And Worst Developer

Best - Hopoo Games

I do love a developer who actually listens to their fans. Hopoo have proved that they really have their ear to the ground with Risk of Rain 2. The Early Access title has gotten a number of updates since it first launched on the service. It’s constantly bringing out new characters and levels, as well as variations on existing ones. More than that though, are the quality of life updates. Risk of Rain 2 has a very vocal community and their changes and suggestions are clearly being looked at.

While it might not seem like too much to ask from a developer, not everyone does it and implements it in the same way that Hopoo does. For consistent updates and an actual sense of community, Hopoo definitely deserves this award.

Worst - Bethesda Softworks

Well, this is a two-year streak, Bethesda. I can’t wait to see how you’ll screw things up next year. For those with their heads in the sand, this award goes to Bethesda for the constant mishandling of Fallout 76, already a silly idea to begin with. I thought the whole thing about the canvas bags, leaked customer data and a weird battle royale mode was bad enough but then they brought in Fallout First.

A paid subscription for a game you’ve already paid for is bad enough. It’s rampant money grubbing and they’re not even bothering to hide it anymore. This subscription service, which is about £100 for a year by the way, gives you a few bits and bobs like a travelling tent and a box for your junk, as well as private servers. Certainly nothing to justify paying more money for a game you’ve already bought. For shame.

The ‘Golden Teapot’ Award For Best Game

Runner Up - Yakuza 0

Well, I said most of what I wanted to in the Best Action Award but here I’ll talk about Goro Majima. A suave ponytailed man, who’s desperate to get back into the Yakuza but instead goes on the run with a blind woman in tow. Throughout the game he carves out his own breed of Yakuza, using his own heat actions and skills. For example, one of his combat styles is breakdancing. Seems a bit less useful than the one that’s just about smashing people over the head with a baseball bat. You take these skills all around the streets of Kamurocho and Sotenbori, getting embroiled in a deep and violent story.

If you like crime games, with excellent combat systems, and don’t take things too seriously then you absolutely need to look into the Yakuza series. And Yakuza 0, to my mind, is the current King of the series.

Winner - Dead Cells

There have been very few games in my life where I’ve started them and immediately felt in awe. Sometimes you just know a game is exactly what you want and made perfectly. This year, Dead Cells was that game. A roguelike game with Metroidvania aspects set in a world that’s been torn apart by a sickness called ‘The Malaise’. Our hero wakes up in a prison- oh I should say our hero is a big ball of sentient goo stuffed into a dead body. Probably important, that. He then has to fight his way through the prison to find the king.

And boy is the fighting good. The combat is extremely tight, with little forgiveness for panicking. A single blow can carve off most of your health, particularly when you add in the ‘Boss Cells’, which function as an extended new game plus system. Add to that some fairly tight platforming, which doesn’t take the center stage, and you’ve got a game that’s as fun as it is frustrating. It has that beautiful quality where every death, and there will be many of those, feels like it’s your fault. That’s absolutely crucial for a roguelike.

It also doesn’t make or break on its items, with each weapon type following generally the same pattern. It’s a game entirely bent on player skill (or lack thereof). I honestly can’t sing Dead Cells praises enough. Everything, right down to the sombre score is brilliant. Absolutely deserving of the Golden Teapot.

The ‘Golden Accompanying Teaset’ Award For Best Game of the Decade

The Binding of Isaac

I had a good long think about this one. A decade is a long time, after all. Ten whole years. A whole lot of games released. With that in mind, I wanted to pick one that was not only a good game in its own right but one that mattered a lot to me personally. With that in mind, I landed on The Binding of Isaac. I think we can all agree it’s a good game, for one. Brutally hard and relentlessly imaginative and it has grown substantially since it was first released, with expansion packs and a remake in the form of Rebirth.

Personally though, it sparked off a love for a genre that’s remained strong to this day. The roguelike genre has been around for many years, of course, since, well, Rogue. But it seems to have picked up a lot more oomph this decade and I wonder how much influence The Binding of Isaac had over that. Certainly, it was pretty damn high profile, initially off the back of Super Meat Boy and then in its own right. It proved that a simple, repeating formula that had thousands of different combinations could be incredibly addictive.

It certainly got its hooks into me. I remember my first year of university, where steam was blocked by my hall’s internet meaning I didn’t have much else on my laptop to play. So I did run after run of The Binding of Isaac, until I could beat the bosses without much trouble. And even then I kept plugging away, trying to unlock everything. I did get the ‘Golden God’ achievement, until multiple expansions made that irrelevant. Ah well.

For the sheer fun and the influences on the roguelike genre, and for making me love the same, it absolutely is my best game of the decade.

Well that’s 2019 done. Personally, I’m hoping that 2020 will be a bit less chaotic in the personal life department. A bit less juggling of money and filling out endless forms and more lying on the sofa playing the games I love. Either way, I hope everyone had a good Christmas, or a good break, and a happy New Year. I hope you’ll join me in looking forward to what 2020 is going to bring. Brace yourselves, eh?

"Your boys told me it was your birthday--" More like blabbed on about it. The white box was pushed into his hands. She had to ask one of the producers to know what to buy. Make-up all sorts of excuses about why she suddenly cared about men dress shirts. The boutique clerk talked Neraine into the wine red, gold embellished shirt. Not too pricey either. "Figured you would need this."

"Ha? We talkin’ ‘bout you or me?” he asked for clarity’s sake. Oh, he heard her. ‘You’ was said undoubtedly, but Majima thought, as he pulled that pretty ribbon and peered inside, that perhaps she meant ‘I’ and ‘my delicate sensibilities’. Of course, a man gunning the city streets half-naked wasn’t much to the appeal of many, but then, when had he last cared for the opinion of others, right? Well, minus hers, perhaps -- perhaps, because he began to shed his blazer. Oh. “Hold this,” he stated before handing his jacket over. In a few seconds time, the gifted shirt was then thrown over his body, snug and a damn dream wrapped about  his hips -- he was in his forties, right?! -- as a proud, almost humble grin claw at him. Woooahhh. Snazzy. Holding his arms out, he gave a wolvish whistle. “What’cha think’s the gift, Raine-chan? The shirt you’re oglin’, or the stud wearin’ it? Heh... Didn’t have to.”

All the Time in the World Chapter 16

Murata Ichigo was always told that he would serve the Time Stopper. That it was his birthright. A privilege. He was always told, “Obey his commands without question, and you will be rewarded.” He had seen his father commit terrible, horrible acts, senselessly. Torture for trivial amounts of information or money, and murder for even less. To Ichigo, the Time Stopper was an enigma; a man who created chaos for little to no reason, and didn’t even seem to care about it. He had always imagined a large, imposing man, that would take those who wronged him and turn them into twisted creations of flesh and blood. He was supposed to be a barbarian, a brute, one who had been allowed to live for over a hundred years while maintaining the prime of his youth, and would use that decades-old wisdom to torment those he despised. All he truly knew was that the man was meant to be feared and respected, and praised by both his father and Ichigo himself. So imagine Ichigo’s surprise when Time Enough was revealed to be a simple man, lean and muscular instead of large and towering with mass. He wasn’t even all that tall, either, just average height at most. He spoke oddly, like a man who cared too little and too much all at the same time, but his eyes were dull and dead. The eyes of someone who was bored. There were no light in his eyes, and they were often glazed over and unfocused. Ichigo’s father told him that their master was sick, that he’d lost what had given him his light. He’d gone to a bad place, and was trying and failing to bring himself back. He had been alone, all alone, for a long, long time. But Ichigo’s father was in no place to argue against the master’s wishes, for that was the vow he’d taken. Obey, and be rewarded. He was certainly rewarded, as Ichigo’s father had never once complained about money or food. Majima-sama had once asked for Ichigo to be brought to him, so there the boy kneels before the villain, barely 9 years old. His father stands to the side, nervously watching the master stare down the child. There were bottles upon bottles of liquor covering the floor, and the curtains were drawn shut, casting the room in a smothering layer of shadows. He held a cigarette between his fingers, and smoke curled through the air that surrounded him. The Time Stopper stood up, taking the pistol from the table beside him. He bent down in front of Ichigo, who looked up into the eyes of his so-called master. The words of his father echoed in his mind as the Time Stopper held the gun out to the boy. ‘Obey his commands without question, and you will be rewarded.’ Time Enough handed the boy the gun, and he gave his command. “Kill yourself.” So, without question, Ichigo placed the barrel into his mouth and pulled the trigger. He was thrown to the ground as the bullet pierced the ceiling, and Time Enough’s laughter echoed throughout the room, loud and deep. The elder Murata sighed in relief, giving Ichigo a small smile and a proud nod. “Holy fuck kid, you’re the best.” The master managed to say through his howls of laughter, “People will- Oh god I’m crying- People will usually punk out, but no, man, if you’re a fucking true believer, and you fucking believe in Majima, you kill yourself with no hes-” At this point he devolved into a mess of giggles and tears. It took the man a good few minutes to calm down, but when he did, he looked at Ichigo with a soft smile. “You know, I like your moxie, kid. I think I’m gonna help you out a bit. Got any plans for the future, little guy?” “Only to follow the path you lay out for me, Majima-sama.” “Then use your fuckin’ imagination, kid. In a world where I didn’t exist, what would you like to do for a living?” Ichigo looked at his hands, glowing softly as fire licked the tips of his fingers. “My mother was an udon ch-” “Cooking school. Got it.” The master looked over at Ichigo’s father, “Send him off, Murata. I’ve got a few ideas for what he can do, but he’s gonna need his training first. Also…” He kneeled down in front of Ichigo, “I noticed that quirk of yours… I see a lot of potential. Keep training it, but don’t let anyone know the extent of your power. Always keep an ace up your sleeve.” The master looked away, turning back to his father to talk about plans, but Ichigo had seen it. A faint little twinkle of something in the man’s dark eyes. Maybe he would regain that light one day, but not for a long, long time.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Majima walked into the restaurant, a hostess catching sight of him and immediately sitting him down at a table near the back of house. She handed him the menu, and offered him some wine, but he waved her off, asking for some soda instead. As with every visit to Othello, he had to take a moment to take in just how opulent and elegant his best worker’s establishment was. He took a look around, noticing that the owner had changed the three tapestries on the walls since his last visit. No longer did the walls show a choir of 4 angels, the temptation of 2 of them, and how the tempted 2 were damned, while the untempted 2 were allowed to ascend. Instead they now showed a Lovecraftian monster fighting a large knight, the monsters defeat at the hands of the knight, and- “Oh my, now isn’t this a pleasant surprise, Majima-sama. What brings a man of your stature to my humble little restaurant?” The old, hunched-over form of Murata Ichigo made his way over to Majima, looking every bit like the grandfather he was at heart. Still running his beloved restaurant at the age of 99, this was the man who’d worked for Time Enough for almost 90 years, now, and had been unquestionably loyal throughout that time. Yet at the same time… “Oh, cut the shit, Murata. Humble my ass, you have a fucking crystal centerpiece not 20 meters from us. How’s the family coming along?” Murata sat down, smiling kindly at the waitress who brought a glass of water for him, along with Majima’s coke. “Oh, just fine, sir. My son is getting ready to take over for me, and my great grandson is doubling his training regime. He’s aiming to get into Shiketsu High School, you know, and I know he’ll make a great hero.” Majima raised an eyebrow at that. “Hero training? Won’t that be a little, ya know, counter productive? He’ll know exactly where to look to out you to the public, and we both know that Iwasaki and Ishii aren’t exactly made to replace you. Hell, I don’t even think your son is made to replace you.” “Well, we must make do with the best we have, sir. Besides, who am I to tell my family what they can or can’t do. I know that somewhere down the line, Hori-kun will meet you, and you will find a way to convince him to keep quiet.” “You know that I am more than willing to beat your little Hori-kun into submission, right?” “Then I hope he trains hard enough to survive you, sir.” Majima laughed, remembering just why he’d always liked Murata more than the others. He understood what loyalty was, unlike Iwasaki, who he was starting to believe was planning against him. Other than that, Ishii had always been a bit… Bland. Sure, he was a good worker, and he listened to Majima fine enough, but he didn’t stand out all too much. It’s just a shame that Ishii’s position within the Hero Billboard Chart Japan offices is too valuable for Majima to just fire him. Murata had that air of a man who’s accomplished every goal he’s made for himself, which is true, since that goal was usually just “Follow Majima Kokiri”. “We have a lot to discuss, Murata. Let’s take this to your office.” Majima got out of his seat, walking past the old man and towards the door that had a golden plaque with Murata’s name on it. Murata followed after him, worrying in his grandfatherly way, “Majima-sama, weren’t you going to order a meal?” He tittered, “We can always prepare it for you to take it with you, sir. We’ve hired a new chef since your last visit, and I know you want to try his steak recipes!” “No, I’m good. I have my whole day planned out, and it’s bad luck to go against a plan before it’s fallen apart. We have a lot to talk about, and we need to get started.” “You know, sir, a plan never survives contact with the enemy.” “I’m not facing any enemies today, Murata. Only friends, and maybe a few of my students, if everything goes my way.” Majima lets Murata sit down on his own chair. Unlike with Iwasaki, Murata knows his place in this little group of his, so asserting dominance is unnecessary. Plus, the chair is padded in a way to help Murata’s back, so it’d be rude to take that away from him. “Alright, first things first, I hope you’ve gotten in contact with Ueno’s boys already. They’re not quite as good as their father was, but they’ve got the connections needed to get the shit we’re looking for, all the high-yield stuff. For the smaller stuff that I’ve got Iwasaki looking for, they’ll be able to help him out.” “Already done, Majima-sama. Ueno Jun and Ueno Len have already provided Iwasaki with the sidearm you requested along with both shotguns, and have shipped all of the ammo for it, as well as all of the shells. They tell me that they’re having trouble finding the dragon breath shells, as well as everything to do with the high-caliber rifles. They’re proving to be quite elusive, sir.” “Then I guess Iwasaki is just waiting to get everything together before he gives me a call. How about you? Your guys find anything yet?” “It’s only been a few days, sir, so the only thing we’ve gotten our hands on are the frag grenades and the lower tiered alkaline metals. The rest of the explosives will take a bit more time to acquire.” “You have until after the provisional license exams. I don’t want any major problems to get in the way of seeing what my students can do when their skills are really put to the test.” “That reminds me, Majima-sama. Why is it you’re teaching at UA, exactly? Care to put an old man’s mind at ease, sir?” Murata gave Majima a cheeky grin, making him scoff a bit, though he did smile. “Knock it off, you shit-bag. The reason I’m going to create to get you off of my back is that teaching at UA gives me an insight into the heroes movements, allowing me to plan around my enemies.” “But the real reason, sir?” “They’re good people, and they have a lot of potential. They plan to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals, and I can respect that. I want to see where it is they’re headed, and where they’ll end up. Aimi was a hero, way back when, and a few of them remind me of her. Plus, some small part of me wanted to spite Akira in any way I could, so, you know…” Murata nodded, understanding what Majima was trying to say. “Perhaps we should get back to the plan, sir. I believe you said that you had plans for today? We wouldn’t want to let you wander too far off schedule.” “Yeah, alright. Where were we? The prison, yeah. Tartarus is going to be heavily guarded, that’s not too big a problem. Guards I can deal with. Heroes are going to create factors I’d rather not deal with. They’ll make going in and out of Time Stop a bit more complicated than I’d like. To make sure that as many eyes as possible are looking away from the prison, we need to set you up around UA, put you in one of the buildings near the school. We’ll set up your Sun directly above the school, keep eyes off of me. Only shoot your shit when you think everyone is calming down, and only aim for the buildings. If you hit any of the students, you’ll have to explain yourself to me. But, if you see a guy with blonde hair wearing leather, then feel free to take a few pot shots. I’m still bitter about that time he spilled coffee all over my lecture notes. Ended up giving out confidential information that Nezu got mad at me for.” “They’ll search the area, sir. What should I do should they barge into whatever building I’m in?” “You’re old, Murata. We’ll move all of your stuff in, set it up like you live there. Whatever happens, don’t let Eraserhead use his quirk on you. Act old and senile, and if you have to, get angry at all these youngsters barging into your house. You never updated your Quirk Registry, right?” “I’m still registered with a weak fireball quirk, sir.” “Good, good. Alright, well, I’ve got shit to do today. Make sure you call Ueno’s boys, make sure Iwasaki’s keeping up on his shopping list. I’m gonna head out.” Majima turned and left, walking out of the back room and onto the main floor of the restaurant, with Murata following a few meters behind him. “Yo, I’m stealing a bottle of wine by the way.” Majima called back, grabbing a bottle from the rack as he walked by and startling the waiter that had been taking an order nearby. “What is mine is yours, sir, you know this. But I was under the impression that you were a sober man now, trying to be better. For your students, if I remember correctly?” “Well, more for three students, if I’m completely honest. Ibara has those weird beliefs about alcohol or whatever, but Iida and Yaoyorozu had started to give me shit for it. Plus, I’ve been thinking about Kori a lot. Don’t think she’d want her old man to be drinking as much as I was. Besides, the bottle’s not just for me, I’m sharing it with a pretty lady tonight.” “A lady?” Murata had a confused look on his face. “I was unaware that you’d begun dating again sir, but…” He looked down for a moment, and Majima turned around to check why he’d stopped talking. When he brought his head up, a wide smile was covering his face, like a child coming face to face with their favorite hero, or just Izuku whenever Yagi walked into the room. “Well, I’m just so happy that you’re finally letting yourself be happy again, sir! You’ve been so sad for so long, the whole time I’ve ever known you. I’m so, so happy that you’re doing this for yourself, sir! Getting back into the game, as you used to tell me!” Majima looked away, growing uneasy with just how happy Murata was. He was always trying to look out for the time stopper. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get back to work, Murata, I need you to be quick with that shopping list. The longer we wait, there’s a higher chance that Akira might try to pull something.” With that said, Majima time stopped his way back to his apartment, closing the door behind him and throwing his coat onto his couch, right next to a Uraraka. He moved into the hallway, pulling his shirt off and closing the bathroom door and started warming up the water. Seriously, over 200 years and they still couldn’t get showers to start off with hot water? That’s probably the only thing he’d been looking forward to during eternity. He set his phone to play some music while he took a shower, something light and jazzy, he’s trying to stay in a good mood, after all. He hopped right i- He turned the water off, put his pants back on and walked back out and into his living room, eyeing the brunette sitting on his couch. He pointed a finger at her, saying “You better hope the school doesn’t have your parents’ phone number on record girl, cause I will be giving them a call about this.” “Wait wait wait, Majima-sensei, please hear me out!” She exclaimed, hopping off of his couch and waving her arms about. Her face was bright red, almost stammering her words as Majima backed away from her. “You stay far the fuck away from me, girl! This already looks bad enough if someone else were to barge in here. Speaking of, how the hell did you even get in here? The only people who have a key are Nezu, Iida, Midoriya and myself. Which of them gave you their key?” “A-Actually, sensei, Nezu-sensei gave me my own key. He told me it was to ‘Pay him back for running away from his responsibilities like a child’.” “That asshole!” Majima yelled, but he quickly took a deep breath and calmed himself down. Today was not the day for this shit, that’s for sure. “Look, just… Just what do you want?” “Is there… Do you happen to know a place that is willing to hire me for a part time position? Money has been a little tight, lately and Nezu overheard me talking to Deku-kun and Iida-kun about it. He gave me a key to your apartment and told me to wait for you to get back.” “Yeah, for future reference, don’t do that. Part time, huh? Whatever, not my place to ask why, not that I care, but I can set you up with a restaurant gig, how’s that? I just got back from talking to one of my guys, owns that place down on Shikifuku Street, high-end place, classy. I’ll get your number off of Midoriya, and I’ll have my guy call you. Now get out, I have a busy day today.” She surprised him by beginning to perform a rapid series of bows, saying thank you over and over in a way that reminded him of Izuku. Finally, after about a minute of this, Majima had enough and just kicked her out. “Oh, shit, uh, when you get back to the dorms, tell Sato to start preparing a little chiffon cake for me, I need it for a date later. Tell ‘im I’ll pay for it.” With a nod of her head she was off, leaving him alone to finally take a shower. When he finished up, he used a towel to wipe away the fog in the mirror, and set about doing something he hadn’t done in 200 years- Trimming his hair and cleaning up his beard. Majima’s not an idiot, he knows that he looks like a homeless man most of the time, but today is about putting your best foot forward, and god damnit, he’s going to look nice for once. Who care if his body resets later tonight, he only has to look good for one day. 30 minutes later, his hair was a tad bit shorter and his face was completely clean shaven. He left the bathroom, putting on a black dress shirt and his best pair of slacks. He glanced at the full length mirror he had on the wall, catching sight of himself. He thought he looked good, even Kayama would probably say so, and god knows she has her tastes. He grabbed his jacket and left, heading to a small soba place down the street. He picked up some hayashi chuka, since hot noodles had always given her a stomach ache. Plus, ordinary cold soba was too cheap for what he had planned, and he’d finally snuck into Nezu’s office to grab all of his paychecks. As a result, he had money to throw around, meaning he was gonna get the best of everything he needed. Good thing Murata’s place was so high class, cause the wine he grabbed wasn’t cheap. He’d even gone so far as to buy some nice crystal wine glasses for later. See, no one can try to say that Majima wasn’t making an effort. He walked back onto the UA campus, passing an irritated Aizawa as he trained that purple kid from the sports festival. That reminded him of something he’d been talking to Kayama about, should he get an apprentice? Aizawa had the purple kid, Yagi had Izuku, hell even Yamada had been eyeing Aoyama. Should he take a student under his wing, show them all about villainy? Maybe, we’ll see. He got to the 1-A dorms and looked around for Sato, finding him in the kitchen just putting the finishing touches on the cake. He paid Sato 5,000 yen for the cake, overpaying a bit because he was in a good mood. He packed away the cake, and nodded happily when he decided that he had everything he’d need for his date. He left the dorms, walking to the train station, not wanting to use Time Stop and walk the whole way to the park. The train took about 30 minutes, and Majima was careful to not jostle his bags too much, lest he break the wine bottles or glasses. Without those, his entire plan is going to fall apart, and he’d be sorely tempted to cry. Well, not real- Yeah, no, really. He’s trying really hard, it would probably be worth a few tears. He hopped off of the train, checking his phone to check the time and continued down the street, heading towards the park. Majima passed a few little fields where children were running around and playing games, and he had to duck to avoid getting hit in the head with a soccer ball. He finally got to where he was headed, pushing past those big iron gates, wincing when they screeched open. That really hammered a few things home. Just how long has it been? He carried his bags down the gravel path, passing a few people here and there, but the park was an old one, very old, so there weren’t too many that he had to worry about. Mostly small families, trying to teach their little ones a bit of family history and whatnot. Majima was heading to the farthest part of the park, all the way towards the back, so he knew he wouldn’t have to deal with any of them. Still, knowing they were around put him on edge. Where there were people, there was the opportunity for crime time funzies, and with crime time funzies came heroes. With heroes came the cops, then investigations, then blah blah blah, you get the point. He didn’t want to deal with that today. He walked for about 20 minutes, the air around him growing colder as night grew closer. He looked up, guessing he had about another 15 minutes before the last of the sun’s light fell over the horizon. That was fine, he only needed just enough time to get them all set up. Eventually, he arrived at the very back of the park, where trees were wide and the grass tall. The benches scattered here and there were old, even older than he was, and were rusted and rotted, falling apart with age. The gravel path had become cobblestone, and the tall rocks that surrounded him were crumbling away. Except for one, though, standing tall, proud, and polished against the dreariness around it, and that’s where his date was waiting for him. He smiled, and laughed as he ran the last few meters to meet here. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you. You wouldn’t believe the day that I’ve had, let me tell you. I had to visit Murata, make plans for murder, you know how that usually works out, then I had to get one of my students a job- Oh, it’s been nonstop all day.” He sat down, looking at the sunset before he started unpacking his bags. “It’s been awhile since we’ve done this, so I made sure I got you your favorite.” He put one of bowls of hayashi chuka on the ground in front of him, before grabbing his own, taking a bite. Majima pulled the chiffon cake out, setting it to the side as he grabbed the wine glasses. Grabbing the bottle of the dark red liquor, he pulled the cork out with a grunt, laughing softly as he poured himself a glass of wine. He filled the second glass and placed it in front of the stone, leaning back and taking a drink. He glanced at the sunset, casting the sky in a beautiful array of pink and purple while as the sun finally fell past the horizon. The stars were beginning to twinkle in the night, and sighed, “So much has happened lately. Let me tell you all about it.”

I'm humbly requesting the Majima/Makoto essay. I believed that their backstories were essentially perfect for each other, but after the ending of 0 and the Majima saga I can't really ship it as anything other than a tragically unrequited love story. Not ship bashing tho, and it was cute, but I'm curious about the stuff you mentioned that people overlook 👀. Maybe I'm missing something?

oh boy okay also youre probably not missing anything i have and i agree with you it should not have gone any further than it does (although maybe just giving her an explanation would be good majima...) I think I’m mostly just thinking a lot of people overlook Makoto in general but anyway let’s hastily throw this together. CW s/exual abuse.

these are my gifs so i dont need to credit okay let’s take it from the top so majima is not an asshole by any means but legit all he has is earning a spot for saejima, literally has no other friends that we know of until the cabaret club minigame, but still immediately feels the need to protect makoto. At the end of the chapter, when he comforts her in the second gif-- i can’t find the post but I read one where OP talks about how they first thought this scene was sexist but changed their mind as it is majima giving what he wanted for that entire year in the hole. He was terrified for so long but couldn’t admit it, couldn’t cry out for help. She’s brave enough to trust in others, even when later we know what she went through. Majima does not trust easy but he craves that comfort; he has no one to confide in, and yet he’s still choosing to comfort Makoto when the world has been nothing but terrible to him.

And when the audience learns of her backstory, we get the distinct parallels between the two of them. Makoto was sold and caged, likely r*ped and assaulted for god knows how long which was (understandably) so traumatic that she lost her sight. A big thing that a lot of people look over with Majima’s backstory is that yes he was beaten and tortured but he was very likely also r*ped and assaulted in this way as well. This is especially so if we take Sagawa’s words more literal when he says Shimano kept him alive because he quote “loved fucking his ass so much;” people brush that off when it is actually extremely likely to be literal. They torture and humiliate men in the hole. You can connect those pieces.

Even aside from “shipping,” there’s a huge opportunity for a deep, trusting friendship. Like Sagawa claims the plan was to get Majima to fall in love with Makoto but like... there’s no way they would have seen the chemistry potential there. They don’t know anything about Makoto other than she owns the empty lot. They were just betting on the fact that she was an innocent pretty girl. But their pasts line up so well, even just friendship would be satisfying because not a lot of people are going to understand what any of what they went through felt like. Majima needs someone like this. In my head they have a ton of offscreen conversations but that’s beside the point

The thing I really like about their dynamic is, and im going to start getting into my makoto defense essay but ill stop myself before i go nuts, is that majima learns to be kind again through her. now i know what youre thinking-- what? majima is already a good boy in y0 but I’m not just talking about that alright? Makoto is an extremely strong person who does not get enough credit for just how strong she is. Majima claims that her past is “worse” than his (im not debating that at all no sides taken here) and yet Makoto has the strength to be kind. She does not owe the world shit. Everyone, ESPECIALLY GOD, has done this woman dirty. And yet she’s still kind to her core, kind enough to apologize crying to majima when she mistook him for a thief, kind to literally everyone until they give her a reason not to. I think it does start to rub off on Majima. At the beginning of y0, he is very closed off and bitter, and understandably so. He’s kind to his employees but he is also very fake. They aren’t really seeing or knowing him. When Makoto comes into his life, it turns his life into crazy hell, but he actually has something. And it’s Makoto, who despite everything tries to see the good in others, and in turn Majima begins to have hope in the world again. Majima is EXTREMELY loyal, almost to a fault, and there are very few people who he unconditionally loves: Saejima, Makoto, and later Kiryu. It’s impressive how quickly Makoto gets into that group of people.

AND IN TURN Makoto has him, this isn’t a one sided dynamic. From what we know since coming to Japan she’s been completely alone aside from Lee. Don’t get me wrong, Lee is amazing, but there’s a big father figure role and it rubs me the wrong way how much he keeps from her. Majima comes in, protecting her despite being hired to kill her. He becomes a friend who refuses to lie to her or water things down because of her disability. For once, someone is treating Makoto as an equal besides maybe in physical strength but he’s not wrong. going with that

fast forward makoto is being CHEWED UP and SPIT ON BY GOD AGAIN legit finally finds her brother and he’s a CORPSE. Majima is obviously worried as hell and freaks out when she implies she wants revenge like kiryu and nishiki what did you do to comfort this girl here comes majima, who wants to do something but sees she needs some distance, but makes it clear that he is there for her.

and MAJIMA, who thinks this entire time she doesn’t see him as more than protection, makoto comes out with THIS line, which is where i begin to think it isn’t unrequited. (also the line where majima jokes that the eyepatch ruined his looks and she FLIRTS WITH HIM QUEEN oh so you’re handsome??) Even if this isn’t a romantic care-about-you line, it kills me how SHOCKED majima looks in this scene like he genuinely though makoto didnt care about him baby please love yourself.

but makoto still dashes because she wants to help HIM see below

she doesn’t want to rely on him, she wants to do something for him, but most of all she wants to take my heart out and stomp on it. which this is more painful when you think about how makoto has felt powerless this whole time in japan, everything around her falls apart and she can’t do anything, so this one time she wants to help majima and get revenge for her brother, but they shoot her. and now she’s calling herself useless, and majima refuses to take that hot garbage since she’s been the one keeping him going this whole time. he’s so desperate for her to let him help her :((((

and then of course we have majima desperately trying to comfort her, which is what she’s likely been lacking for years-- someone there for her when she is in pain. when she was caged no one was there to hold her hand but now she has majima :((( i do not CARE if that one is a stretch i will die on this hill

which is also why i am sad majima was not there when she woke up in the hospital

makoto being hurt by the tojo clan IS the tipping point into the “mad-dog” persona. If he can’t even protect the people he cares about, what is the point of taking orders? So lets go beat the shit out of the tojo clan in the name of love or something

this is where it starts to go south. i understand why majima doesnt want makoto to recognize him since it will tie her to him and then people will target her to hurt him, however can you just give the poor woman an explanation goddamn. like just let her have a goodbye? anything? not your anonymous gifts? i do love the anonymous gifts but still. i think that would be a nice, satisfying transition into the next part of her life, some closure before she becomes “normal”

instead we get this scene, which i guess i should be thankful we got this scene. again them being secret friends would be so good like... catch up. tell him about your son. but going back to the majima thinking she doesn’t care i am glad he got to hear her say those things about him because he really REALLY needed it, like hearing how grateful she is and how he saved her he just needs that confidence boost because no matter how much the man struts and fakes it, underneath this boy is extremely critical on himself

overall the main thing about these two is the depth of understanding between these two in life experiences and the fact that they balance each other out. i do think that makoto loved him in y0 but obviously she moved on; it took majima much longer to move on but the bit in majima saga was heavily needed. again, i agree with you in saying that it didnt need to go any further, but in some other world ya know. and him and kiryu own my ass now so theres that.

but y0 ripped out my heart and rubbed it in the gravel and threw it at a brick wall so i’ll never really get over them. and tbh it’s kind of a nice change of pace where your character doesn’t get the girl AND he respects her boundaries, you know? like there was no kiss or anything and that sold me on their love more than a m/f couple in media that DO get that. It was just so abundantly clear that Majima cares about Makoto on such a deep and selfless level, and solidified in yk2 where he sings that song and makes everyone cry. But you didn’t need the song to know that her happiness means everything to him!!! Fuck!!! I’m emo!!!!!! anyway i love them, your honor. goodbye

FEATURE: Why Tite Kubo Giving Characters Personal Songs is So Important

  It probably goes without saying, but music is magical. For many people, important moments and times of their lives are pinned to certain soundtracks. You've likely seen those memes about your taste in music in high-school, your first playlist, your usual driving music, what songs you listen to the most, what your Spotify playlist says about you, and so on. Put simply, music is a huge part of the human experience, and we tie our identities to the music that punctuates our lives and the moments that surround it. And when it comes to our love of anime, we’ve all probably made our own playlists of songs that remind us of characters and series, interspersed with opening and ending themes. But what about when the author of a series does it themselves? Well, that happens to be the case with Tite Kubo, and it’s worth thinking about whether this is why Bleach’s huge, diverse cast is so memorable. 

    Like many long-running series, Bleach is long; the anime ended after 300+ episodes, and the manga ran for 74 volumes. The issue with a lot of long series is that eventually, characters start to get sidelined or forgotten, and we start to lose sight of exactly who they were or why they were important; a character we might have loved at first suddenly becomes barely recognizable. Throughout Bleach’s run, though, I never found myself having that issue. Kubo’s visual designs help, as he’s always masterfully created unique and interesting designs that all stand apart from one another, but I started to realize that it was a bit more than that. Bleach’s character roster didn’t just feel like characters in a story, they felt like people, and a large part of that was the way Kubo rounded them out so completely that he attached specific, real-world songs to each of his designs. (If you’re curious about the list, we wrote about it here). These songs add an extra layer to each character that few other creators come close to and help to not only make Bleach’s characters visually memorable, but also helps to create fuller profiles in our minds of who this character is or was and what makes them tick.

    But does it really matter that much, you might ask? Well, at least in my humble opinion, the answer is yes. Because this goes beyond simply designing a character by color and shape, it leans into viewing them as a complicated collection of personality traits. A pretty specific and interesting aspect of this is that these songs never changed, which leads to questions like, “Did he really have Kenpachi’s character arc designed the whole time?” or "How far in advance was most of the major storyline developed?" But more importantly, it made me want to listen to all of these songs from disparate groups of musicians and genres. Personally, music has always been a big part of my personality and I’ve loved listening to and exploring music throughout my life. So, when I first encountered Kubo’s character design notes and saw the songs, you better believe I burnt a CD right then and there to listen to in my car. But what I also realized is that looking back at Bleach, all of the side characters — especially Ichigo’s classmates from Karakura town — stayed memorable. Whereas in series like One Piece and Naruto where I can struggle to remember one-shot or forgotten characters, I still know exactly what Tatsuki's and Don Kanonji’s deals are in Bleach. They’re people, just not the ones the series focuses on, and in large part, these songs play a big part in that memory.

    Perhaps the biggest aspect of this design choice, though, is how well these songs fit the characters. In some cases, it takes a few listens to recognize what exactly Kubo’s intentions were. Some of that may be conjecture or interpretation on our end, but it really starts to make a character’s personality and “idea” click in our heads when we get it. The songs aren’t totally about the lyrics, either. It’s important to think about the music, melody, and theme and consider the ways in which all of these things play in to being the “theme song” of a character. The songs also help turn seemingly one-note characters into more well-rounded ones; for all of the villains that vanished after a single battle, thinking about their song choice makes them suddenly much more interesting and fulfilling, and lets us think about the various, complex ways Kubo went about designing a character that was only meant to accomplish a single thing and then disappear forever. Further, playing these songs during re-reads of the manga makes certain scenes just that much more impactful and powerful; playing a theme song during a character’s big moment or fight really heightens the tension in a way that I can’t get from other series, even those where I’ve built my own playlist. Knowing that Kubo selected these songs gives them purpose and makes the impact that much bigger.

    On a different level, though, these theme songs also forced me to engage in something that wasn’t entirely related to the anime or manga — the music and songs themselves. I don’t think it would be a mistake to say that following Kubo’s list of songs forced me out of my own musical comfort zones and made me learn to appreciate and even become a fan of various musicians and styles of music that I’d never really listened to before. And for me, I think that speaks to something even more important in terms of what Kubo’s done: Bleach isn’t just a self-contained thing, but a piece of art and culture that exists and is influenced by other pieces of art and culture. We can trace Kubo’s thought processes and ideas to the things he listened to, saw, and engaged with as he was working on the series — and this music is an aspect of that. Let’s be fair, a lot of these songs are fairly dated today, but they encapsulate certain pieces of the history of Bleach and the early '00s that round out the full picture in such a beautiful and unusual way. I don’t think one needs to become a fan of every song or artist on Kubo’s list, but I do think this is something so unique and special that I wish every creator would engage with it, just once.

    Of course, we’ll never know the full intentions behind every song unless Kubo ever wants to explain them to us, but I think one of the most troubling aspects of appreciating characters and design decisions for fans is authorial intent; we can never know the true answer. These songs, however, give us something that few other creators have ever attempted, and really makes Kubo’s ability as a character designer and author stand out in the crowd in a way that was easy to overlook before. Considering how deep the ocean of music really is, it’s fascinating to think about all of the songs that he must have listened to or thought about before selecting each of these specific, singular titles for characters. In the end, Bleach will always remain an amazing series to me, and the characters still stand out to me while others have started to fade. Part of me wonders if it’s because of that playlist I made where I first heard the band Hellacopters and made Chad one of my favorite characters ever once everything just “clicked” in a way that I doubt it would have otherwise. Perhaps it's unreasonable to expect every creator to follow in Kubo’s footsteps here, but sometimes, just sometimes, don’t you wish you knew what your favorite character’s theme song was?

  Who’s your favorite Bleach character, and what do you think of their song? Let us know what you think in the comments!

      Nicole is a frequent wordsmith for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

Yakuza Kiwami steam launch prep maybe

Finest worst crime-dad Kazuma Kiryu could be making a return to PC prior to anticipated, if the whirring coming from Steam’s database is any indication. We’ve recognized for some time that Yakuza Kiwami (a remake of the primary in Sega’s brawl-o-RPG sequence) was headed to PC, following up on the profitable launch of 80s-set prequel Yakuza Zero – we simply didn’t know when. As reported by VG247, folks on Twitter have spotted them loading launch tubes by way of SteamDB. Achievement lists are going up, keys are being prepped – right here’s hoping for a launch this aspect of chrimbo.

Even should you’ve solely performed the unique recreation again within the day, you’re seemingly in for a deal with with Kiwami – they’re rebuilt it from the bottom up on the identical foundations as Zero. Which means most of your combating abilities ought to carry over easily. The remake features a bunch of recent programs, like new mini-games, extra quests, a bulked up fight engine and the sensible “Majima Anyplace” system. Goro Majima was a little bit of a mad canine in Zero, however in Kiwami he’s completely bonkers and obsessive about Kiryu, so that you’ll discover him randomly lurking wherever you go, disguised or simply in hiding.

I’ve bought my fingers crossed that Sega are correctly dedicated to bringing the entire sequence to PC. Even when we’re to to get Kiwami throughout the subsequent couple weeks, Kiwami 2 was simply launched on consoles. Sega are additionally remastering Yakuza three, four and 5, though they’re not going to obtain the complete remake therapy that the ageing first two video games noticed. In addition they simply rolled out a Japanese demo for Challenge Decide (often known as Decide Eyes), a spin-off that appears each bit as brill because the mum or dad sequence. Don’t imagine me? Behold this compilation of Warmth Actions, by way of “devilleon7” on YouTube.

Sega haven’t launched a date for it but, however you need to in all probability control the Yakuza Kiwami Steam web page. And should you’ve in some way not performed Yakuza Zero, take a look at Edwin Evans-Thirlwell’s glowing evaluation right here – the sport’s nonetheless going low cost (£10.04/13.99/$13.99) on Steam and Humble.

from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/yakuza-kiwami-steam-launch-prep-maybe/

Yakuza Kiwami, HTC Vive bundles, Tomb Raider Barbie and more • Eurogamer.net

Jamie Wallace

Commerce Editor

@SemperTyrannus

A note from the editor: Jelly Deals is a deals site launched by our parent company, Gamer Network, with a mission to find the best bargains out there. Look out for the Jelly Deals roundup of reduced-price games and kit every Saturday on Eurogamer.

Any week that gives me an excuse to talk about adventure games is a good one in my book, but this particular week has not only delivered that quite nicely, but given us a big stack of deals on top, just for kicks. We've got everything from Micro SD cards to HTV Vive to Barbie to go through today, so let's take a look.

As usual, we've got deals that'll work in the UK, deals that'll work in the US and some deals that will work in both the UK and US, as well as presumably many other places.

UK & US Deals

Humble's brand new, genre-spanning bundle is the Humble 'Classics Return' Bundle, which features a variety of fan favourites returning from the dead. These include Broken Sword, Tex Murphy, Wasteland 2 and more.

Here's what the whole bundle looks like:

Pay what you want:

Broken Sword 5: The Serpent's Curse

Shadowrun Returns

Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure

Pay more than the average:

Shadowrun Hong Kong

Wasteland 2: Director's Cut

Age of Wonders 3

Xenonauts

Pay $15 (around 11) or more:

Torment: Tides of Numenera

Dreamfall Chapters: The Final Cut Edition

Pay what you want for the Humble Classics Return Bundle

There's a big batch of EA titles with big discounts on Xbox this week, available to Xbox Live Gold members. Most notably, you can grab Titanfall 2 and Skate 3 together and still have enough cash left over for a Happy Meal.

The Humble Store is currently offering up to 75 per cent off a bunch of Ubisoft titles, featuring everything from Ghost Recon Wildlands with 55 per cent off, to For Honor with 67 per cent off, but no one will mind if all you want to pick up is Steep while it's half price.

Ubisoft Sale from Humble Store

This month, signing up for a Humble Monthly subscription will get you instant access to a copy of Dark Souls 3 as well as the Ashes of Ariandel DLC pack, along with a stack of other games once the month finishes out, all of which will cost you $12 / 10.

Dark Souls 3 and Ashes of Ariandel DLC for $12 / 10 with Humble Monthly

UK Deals

One of the two best remakes of the past few years, Yakuza Kiwami, is down to 11.99 as a digital title over on the PlayStation Network. That's a whole lot of game and a whole lot of Majima available for not much cash.

Yakuza Kiwami for 11.99 from PlayStation Store

Add 128GB of storage to your Nintendo Switch with this Micro SD card, currently discounted to 27.99 over at Amazon UK. Or, I don't know, use it in a camera or something, they probably still use Micro SD.

Integral Ultima Pro 128GB Micro SDXC card for 27.99 from Amazon UK

Sony's most recent 'play it with your phone' type game, Hidden Agenda, is a police mystery thriller from the creators of Until Dawn and it can be yours in its boxed form for under 6 this week, which is a bit good, isn't it?

Hidden Agenda on PS4 for 5.85 from Amazon UK

This set of Sennheiser HD 4.40 Bluetooth wireless headphones is down 40 to 89.99 this week, over at Argos, if you suddenly develop a need to shut yourself off from the world and listen to the Hamilton soundtrack again. We've all been there.

Sennheiser HD 4.40BT wireless headphones for 89.99 from Argos

It's not a massive discount but it still counts - Amazon is selling 12-month memberships to EA Access for 17.99 right now, rather than the usual 19.99. Memberships stack, so you can get a headstart on next year if you're already signed up.

EA Access One-Year Membership for 17.99 from Amazon UK

This 31.5-inch AOC monitor is a bit of a beast, features FreeSync, a max resolution of 2560x1440 and is reduced by 90 this week. That brings the price down to 179.99 while the stock remains there.

AOC Q3279VWF 31.5-inch monitor for 179.99 from Amazon UK

Alternatively, you could go for this Acer gaming monitor. It's a smaller 24.5-inch model but it features a 240Hz refresh rate, a 1ms response time and a very pointy design. This one is down 180 to 369.97 this week.

Acer XB252Qbmiprzx 240Hz 24.5-inch gaming monitor for 369.97 from Currys PC World

This Legend of Zelda Encyclopedia Limited Edition has made an appearance or two in these deals roundups before, and the thing isn't even officially released yet. Nonetheless, the pre-order price of this one has been reduced to 55.12 for a short time, if you fancy it.

Legend of Zelda Encyclopedia Limited Edition for 55.12 from Amazon UK

Whether you want to cosplay in the most accurate way possible or you just like weird looking headsets, Razer is offering up this D.Va edition of the Meka gaming headset. One of these will cost you 79.99.

Razer Meka D.Va Edition gaming headset for 79.99 from Razer

This deal proved a popular one on the Jelly Deals Twitter account when it emerged during the week so here you go - this Heat Changing Stained Glass Legend of Zelda mug is down to 6.99 at Merchoid. Go nuts.

Zelda Heat Changing Stained Glass Mug for 6.99 from Merchoid

ShopTo is selling off DualShock 4 controllers in Black, Blue and Red at a discount this week, through its official eBay outlet. You can pick up any of those models for 37.85 while stock lasts.

DualShock 4 controllers (Red, Blue, Black) for 37.85 from ShopTo via eBay

If you missed out on picking up a Fire Emblem Warriors Limited Edition for Nintendo Switch when it launched last year, fret not - it can be yours for the reduced price of 37.99. If that's your thing, at least.

Fire Emblem Warriors Limited Edition on Nintendo Switch for 37.99 from Amazon UK

US Deals

Amazon US has got a sale going on featuring a variety of EA published PC titles. You can pick up some of the company's most recent releases dirt cheap, but if you only buy one thing, you absolutely should get that $5 copy of Titanfall 2.

You may have seen by now that there's a Tomb Raider Barbie doll on the way. If you'd like to own it, you can get a pre-order in right now from the official Mattel website. That tiny pick-axe is adorable.

Tomb Raider Barbie Doll for $29.99 from Mattel

If for some reason you've so far resisted picking up a copy of Street Fighter 5 on PS4, you can now grab a copy of the Arcade Edition for $29.99. This is the most complete version of the game so far, with extra characters and major improvements from the launch version.

Street Fighter 5 Arcade Edition for $29.99 from Amazon US

Nintendo has seemingly invested pretty heavily in encyclopedias this year, as in addition to the Zelda encyclopedia that's up for pre-order, you can now pre-order a Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia for $23.99 right now.

Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia for $23.99 from Amazon US

If you want to get your VR on in a big way, you can save some cash by getting this bundle of an HTC Vive with the Vive Racket Set and Tracker from the Microsoft Store, where the whole lot will cost you $598 for the time being.

HTC Vive with racket set and Tracker for $598 from Microsoft Store

With that, we're done for another week. Keep in mind that deals, prices and availability can change at the drop of a hat, so apologies if you miss out on something you wanted. I'll be over at Jelly Deals, scouring the world wide web for more deals. Feel free to visit, or follow us on Twitter and give us a like on Facebook.

Did you know that Jelly Deals has launched a newsletter? Let us bring the best deals directly to you each day. Subscribe here, if that seems like your kind of thing.

Majima is the crooked man to Kiryu's straight. He's the one your parents would despise up front, the guy your neighborhood elders warned to avoid like the big bad boogeyman. He's a scrabbled-together hodge podge of unsavory ills, and he knows it, almost likes it, wears it on his skin like designer snake. Deceptive. Nearly a caricature, in a way. But Kiryu's saintly by contrast, a gambler so unabashedly transparent as to sooner go bankrupt before his morality lets him lie. He's patient, kind, and bewilderingly sympathetic, and virtuous in all ways brawling gangsters shouldn't be. He's a beacon of hope in Tokyo's dens of vices and sin, and stalwart and strong like a rock to a stream. Majima is a twist on his traumas. He's snappish, a ruse, a bundle of violent outrage borne upon the need to deflect. Kiryu is sincerity to a humbling level, and he has a heart in him that Majima's snuffed out years ago. And that's what gets him. Kiryu, despite being so soft, so eager to see and do good doubly in return, remains standing tall on his own two feet. Sure, he's had the hell beaten out of him -- and it's such a look on him, too, that steely face of defiance -- but he never yields or kneels down before something he can't accept. He still fights for other people and for that sense of good he blinds himself with, wants to give charity to a world that's only spurned him at every bend... Because he believes that's how you can change it. Be something that matters. Majima doesn't believe that exactly, but he might have once a thousand lifetimes ago -- before the eye, before he was chained to a beam and beaten into pulp -- and is thrown off balance by it. Infuriated by it. And last, but not least, nearly enraptured by it. Majima isn't a good man by any means, but he knows a good man when one crosses his path -- and Kiryu Kazuma is the best they've ever seen. He wants to see him win because he's a sucker for an underdog, and despite all his pessimism, he wants a happy ending. Somewhere. To someone close. To see that this world isn't as irredeemably cruel as he knows it is. Because Majima, even twisted up, has a heart of something tender -- buried away, deeply holed, under callused over rage and shame.

Some not safe for work headcanons for that feisty Mad Dog... :3c

Majima is your filthy vers.

Prefers men, but still very much loves women.

Sex is often pursued for the thrill of it and little more. No attachments, no mess, and little room for complication.

Enjoys it rough and often worrisomely so -- to absolutely no one’s surprise. It isn’t right if he isn’t blanking out from the sheer force of his orgasm, leaving the night with bruises smattering along his smarting skin–

–and after multiple rounds to boot. He has, shall we say, commendable endurance, and after climbing over the edge, voice gravely with sex, he will lean over and demand another go.

And Majima has little qualms flaunting his marks as shamelessly ill-dressed as he is. Prowling the seedy streets of Kamurocho, he’ll sport those bruises like he’ll sport his ink: with none by way of timidity as it’s beared for the world.

Clearly, he has his kinks. Beyond biting and clawing, he also enjoys dressing in lingerie (when the mood strikes him), crossdressing, roleplaying, pegging, and thrills at every ‘rendezvous’ in some seedy backalley crawl. Public sex is certainly a big, big favorite, and powerplay works him up like no one.

Doesn’t mind it vanilla, though!

Majima enjoys shows of strength. Should you pin him down and embrace what it is you want – take it, hungry and desperate – he will devolve into a babbling mess.

Some pain does get him off, the damn masochist. Bite his skin raw, drag along the length of him with teeth, or bust his nose in a fight and get his adrenaline pumping.

And he likes to dole out the filthy praise, too, to watch and feel his partner burn up with a full-body blush. (“All nice and eager for me.”/“That’s your voice.”/“Now, ain’t that a pretty picture?”) Humiliation, mind you, mixed with arousal is a terribly potent mix, and watching them glow with it makes something dark crawl in his belly.

As he often is elsewhere, Majima is loud during sex.

He doesn't beg, by the way, but if you get him keening enough, hold out on him long and cruelly enough... Just. Yow.

Though, if it’s one kink he isn't quick to jump for, it would be bondage. A la his tragic backstory, Majima isn’t overly fond of bindings or restraints. He will flip the prospect into something more agreeable with him in that case, and through little more than a sharp look, forces his partners to wisely surrender.

Still, however, he is willing to try it out for someone he truly trusts and, dare he say it, cares deeply and stubbornly for. He may need some coaxing prior, true, but it’s for them, and that is so shockingly humbling and unselfish.

Obviously, Majima isn’t all too strong in the pillowtalk field. That speaks of intimacy, and beyond the physical and more immediate needs, he isn’t there to coddle you while you’re swimming through your haze.

Unless he really, really, really likes you.

He isn’t into kissing beyond exercising pure dominance and hunger, but if the Mad Dog has grown to harbor those nasty lil' butterflies in his tummy for ya, he may take every nip he can possibly get–

–though he’d be left in a strange and volatile headspace afterward, not at all graceful as he handles the facts.

(“Just had to be fun. Coulda kept it at a guy goin’ and blowin’ off some steam, but then ya started wantin’ to kiss and snuggle up and shit.”)

He’s sorta royally screwed in the emotions department. Obviously. You’ve gotta be awfully forgiving with him, stubborn, and undoubtedly persistent to wear at his resolve – and who, really, has that sort of patience?

If they aren't haven't fun, then he isn't having fun! Consent and wild enthusiasm makes for a happy Goro.

Magic School Brings New Friends and Foes In My Next Life As A Villainess Episode 4 Recap

  Ah, the start of a new school year! Even for those of us far removed from that life, there really is nothing like the breath of fresh air it seems to bring to one’s year. New people, new challenges, and new… doom flags? Well, maybe that’s only in the case of Catarina! Welcome back to our recap of My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! I’m Professor Nicole, and we’re here once again to study up on all the juicy moments and details of episode 4 before watching the latest episode today!

Last time, Catarina celebrated surviving childhood with a lavish party, while also cluelessly assembling quite the following of admirers. As she transitions into young adulthood and school life, will she continue to bumble through life and avoid doom? Or will this be the start of Catarina’s downfall? 

**SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4 AHEAD**

Catarina and Keith are prepared to leave home, but not without some final warnings from their parents (mostly for Catarina) that now was a time to grow and mature. Honestly, we don’t really see what the problem is with Catarina’s hobbies, but that’s nobility for you, I guess! 

For Catarina, this is a change not just in her life, but also in her potential fate. While she worked hard during her childhood to put her knowledge (and dumb luck) to use in trying to avoid bad endings, the real test begins now at the magic academy, the setting for "Fortune Lovers."

We start off by getting our first inclinations about Maria, the real protagonist of "Fortune Lover," who seems to be your fairly traditional otome game lead: common birth, humble, and of course, born with a rare and unique magical gift. Typical protagonists, always with the rare gifts! Oh, right, I guess Catarina falls into that category too, huh?

The Council of Catarinas tries to take stock of what this new beginning will bring. Aside from Catarina being, well, a real person and not a programmed AI now, the rest of the world has also been changed by Catarina’s actions. What exactly will happen when the fated encounters occur—if they even do occur? The council seems at a loss but remains hopeful.

Catarina’s growing harem has changed as well, although she seems totally clueless as to why these changes are important. Geordo still has a somewhat dark heart but is no longer feeling oppressed by Catarina as it was implied he was in the game.

Keith has become an earnest and polite young man, although he certainly seems destined for an early grave if Catarina keeps putting him through so much stress! Keith doesn’t seem to be frivolously flirting it up with women at any opportunity, but his sister doesn’t give him a lot of downtime to do so, to be honest...

As we saw in episode 3, Alan has also changed quite drastically from the game, feeling a bit of an equal, brotherly rivalry with Geordo now instead of feeling taciturn and resentful. Of the entire cast so far, Alan seems the most openly changed, and even Catarina picks up on his changes!

Of course, that’s come with the added benefit of Alan’s relationship with Mary irrevocably changed. Rather than being interested in Alan, she’s quite obviously interested in Catarina! Alan seems to be interested in Catarina as well, so it doesn’t seem to bother him too much. Still, what ripple effect will such a change have? Only time will tell!

Finally, Nicol and his sister Sophia have become more prominent in Catarina’s life, whereas "Fortune Lover" originally saw the trio rarely interact. Nicol certainly seems to be the dark horse in this race, and we have yet to hear or see much out of him in regard to Catarina, so it will certainly be interesting to see what happens when—or if—he makes any moves!

  Catarina seems obsessed with tracking down Maria, but failing to find her during orientation, she instead finds herself once again in the clutches of Geordo’s attempts to woo her back to his room. Of course, Geordo seems fairly smart, so he’s learned the best way to attract a stray Catarina: sweets!

    Before that, though, we’re introduced to a new character: Sirius Dieke, the student council president. Honestly, I’m getting a weird vibe from this guy, so I’m very interested in seeing what develops with him in the future. Doesn't he seem a bit too perfect?

But who cares about that when sweets are in the picture? Of course, Catarina doesn’t really let anything bother her and instead finds herself chaperoned by Keith (such a good brother!) at Geordo's. She immediately loses interest in anything else and chooses to eat her fill of baked goods, instead.

WARNING: DOOM FLAG APPROACHING!

While Catarina stuffs her face, Keith and Geordo recount their run-ins with a mysterious new girl: the one and only Maria! Catarina, this is why you need to think with your brain, not your stomach!

Turns out there's one unexpected change from Catarina’s childhood: People in her social circle just seem to find people climbing trees totally normal. Frankly, it’s a little weirder for Maria than child Catarina, but, well, when in "Fortune Lover," make like the Fortune Lovers do! 

In one of the more vexing parts of this episode, it seems our dear Bakarina can’t quite realize that Geordo (and others) aren’t at risk of being conquered by Maria because the game is no longer following the same script, and finds herself unable to sleep instead. 

Catarina starts her first day of school by nearly giving Keith a heart attack, accusing him of trying to play pick-up artist with Maria. Pure, kind, sweet Keith. We’re so, so sorry you have to put up with such a blockhead of a sister! Jumping to immediate conclusions based on her faulty reading of the game again, Catarina nearly kills Keith with accusations of falling in love with a girl he has spoken to literally once. Come on Catarina! You even said he isn’t the same Keith earlier!

    Thankfully, Catarina and Keith’s maid steps in with the assist, stopping this charade. At this rate, we predict poor Keith is going to die of high blood pressure in a year. Hang in there, Keith!

The fateful meeting finally occurs, however, as Maria and Catarina pass in the hallway to… not much fanfare, really. You’re being kind of a creeper, Catarina!

The Council of Catarinas is thrown into a panic as they find Maria as charming and wholesome as promised… except they need to make sure they don’t lose to her to survive! Of course, Catarina doesn’t seem to imagine just… not bullying Maria as the obvious solution here.

Determined to survive, Catarina revives her interest in farming, using a technicality in “flower” to find ways to grow some vegetables. Her maid gives quite the RBF here, to be honest, but I suppose if you’ve had to put up with Catarina’s antics this long, you’d probably feel the same way.

Of course, crops aren’t the only things Catarina is harvesting, as her entourage shows up to court her attention. Conveniently, all at the same time. Weird how everyone always shows up to pursue you at the same time, huh, Catarina?

Alan shows some amazing growth here in the episode, having matured into a fine young man who is no longer obsessed with inferiority complexes. Catarina, you should take more notice of how people act and feel, or maybe you wouldn’t have missed how much Alan’s changed from the game!

We finally meet the student council president up close... I don’t trust smiles like this one. I’ve seen enough anime and played plenty of games to know how this is gonna play out!

Catarina gets to spend time with Maria whenever she visits the student council room. And Maria immediately finds out Catarina’s weakness: baked sweets.

Catarina... You’re not supposed to fall in love with her, too!

Of course, as usual, Catarina finds herself playing the role of heroine, coming to the defense of poor Maria. (And the baked goods, those are important too.) Hm, something about this scene seems familiar…

Having the gaze of a villain comes in handy, though, as Catarina terrifies these three bullies into submission! That’s one heck of a gaze!

Catarina’s devotion to all things baked and sweet really doesn’t know any bounds. Also, didn’t your mother say not to eat things off the ground anymore at the start of the episode, Catarina?! PROMISE BROKEN.

  Oh no, that smile is deadly cute! 

Of course, Catarina seems to remember things after the fact and realizes the reason this situation was so familiar was… SHE was the one doing the bullying?! Aside from directly changing the game again, it is interesting that the same sequences of events are happening, but now with different players.

That’s the spirit, Catarina! Steal all of those flags! Become the heroine yourself! Grow your harem! That’s the true way to conquer the game, right?! *Ahem*

Well, that brings us to the end of yet another episode! This one has shown the most direct changes to the game so far. It will be interesting to see what the future holds for our heroine (villainess?) moving forward. Who exactly is Sirius, and why does he have such an ominous smile? What will become of Maria and Catarina’s budding friendship? Will Bakarina EVER get a clue? Well, we’ll just have to find out in today's episode! Until next time, viewers, remember to eat your sweets in moderation!

Have any fond back to school memories? Are you also addicted to baked goods? Let us know in the comments!

Catch My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! every Saturday at 10:30am PST / 1:30pm EST on Crunchyroll!

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Nicole is a frequent wordsmith for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

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