#lyudmila pupperchenko
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We're saying goodbye today. Mila declined a lot overnight. She's taking comfort in Emet.
If you need me, no you don't.
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@vaspider helps a lot of people by boosting their fundraising posts, and helped me last year by boosting my fundraiser for Morgan's cancer expenses. I can't afford to donate any more money right now, but I can at least donate space on my Tumblr. May Mila have many more good months.
@most-definitely-human @lady-feste-pendragon @captain-rachel @dedicatedfollower467 could you guys help spread this around?
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Help a cool pup & Family out
Help out if you can for a vet bill for a lovely dog of a lovely family.
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We are finally home from the emergency vet.
Mila spent 4 days pacing and unable to settle. She asked for food, for water, for upstairs, for downstairs, but she could never settle. When it got to Tuesday and nobody had really slept for days and it was getting worse, not better, Evie and I took her to the emergency vet that's connected to her oncologist. We left Emet home to snuggle Cap and Rumba and get a nap which they desperately needed.
Mila got painkillers - dilaudid in an IV and codeine to take at home - and they raised her gabapentin dose, gave us some sedatives, and so on.
We will be talking to the oncologist tomorrow, but unless he has some miracle plan to dramatically shrink her lymph nodes, it's going to be time to set a final date and then make a bucket list for Mila.
We said we would keep her around for as long as we could have Good Days, and the last 4 days have been just... terrible. She was in so much pain from her lymph nodes pushing on her spine and didn't know how to tell us.
Emet kind of expected the news we brought home. We don't want another Kusto - where we hang on too long *for us* and should have said goodbye before we did - and we are all on the same page there.
It absolutely sucks, but we knew it was coming.
I got us set up with a euthanasia service at the start of this, so we will be able to say goodbye to her at home & the other dogs will be able to see her body and know that she has died, so they'll be able to grieve. Dogs understand death and they understand loss. We don't want them to think she's just disappeared.
That said... we just wiped out the last of what we had squirreled away for her next chemo round, and we'll need help with her final expenses if folx can spare anything. I know we've asked a lot, and I appreciate it more than I can say.
We got a lot more time with her than we expected, and it's been entirely because we have had your support. We had money to be able to say, "it's $60 for the pain meds? Yes. Give them to her right now, please."
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Hello friends!
I am here to rattle the virtual can again. Our appointment today ate up the last of what we had from all the incredible help we have received. We're on the least expensive chemo option, and it's working. It ain't cheap, and between the facts that we've sunk so much into NerdyKeppie this year and that Evie changed jobs twice bc one company was bought out and shut down and the second company was a start-up that failed, we just don't have anything spare - so we've been so grateful for all the help we've gotten.
I promise more pictures of Mila being her happy self & adoring Emet later. I have to put on pants and go pick her up from oncology.
We've been enjoying Sukkot with her - she loves to be in the sukkah with us. It's one of her favorite times of year because she gets to spend time out there with us and while it sucks to think that this is probably her last Sukkot, it's incredible that we even got here. Most dogs on steroids alone (which is all we would have been able to afford without your help) only last 4-6 weeks at the outside. We wouldn't have even gotten a last Sukkot without y'all.
Thank you so much for every day we've gotten. She's an absolutely priceless princess, even when she's a total pain in the ass.
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youtube
Now your bowl is empty
And your feet are cold
And your body cannot stop rocking
I know it hurts to let go
Since the day we found you
You have been our friend
And your voice still echoes
in the hallways of this house
But now it's the end
We will be with you
When you're leaving
We will be with you
When you go
We will be with you
And hold you 'til you're quiet
It hurts to let you go
We will be with you
We will be with you
We will be with you
You will stay with us
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@fred-the-dinosaur the sign came today. She is now guarding the leashes. 💗😭
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Ordered a metal sign with the art that @fred-the-dinosaur-draws made of Mila, and I'm gonna hang it up over the leash rack.
I don't think a piece of art has ever made me happier.
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I never thought I'd be so happy to see her begging for food. When she started chowing down, I asked Emet to turn on her camera so everybody could see what their help has done.
This is the result of getting her to an oncologist quickly and getting her on the right medication, which we absolutely couldn't have done on our own. Her eye looks so much better, the steroids are shrinking her lymph nodes, she's drinking lots of water, eating, and actively begging for food. She begged some peanut butter granola off of @apocalycious earlier.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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I was falling asleep and then I remembered that the last time Mila fell asleep, she had her paw hooked over my leg.
Grief sucks.
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I'm sorry, baby. I wish I could fix it.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I recall that you wished she made it through Hanukkah and I think she heard you and decided that, if she had to pass in the way she did, she was going to do it giving y'all that last holiday miracle. If Emet is feeling up to it, give her a hug from me. Again I'm so sorry, may her memory be a blessing. ♥️
I said to my cousin last night that it reminded me of a conversation her mother had with our grandmother. Grammy said, "I think I just want to die," and my aunt said, "Mom, you are 92 years old. You can do whatever you want."
Grammy passed six hours later, in her sleep. I think she needed to know that her kids - and especially my aunt, her youngest - would be okay without her.
Mila got as far as she could, and then it was time for us to let her go.
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Emet pointed out tonight that Cap has outlived 3 of his Best Friends. When Cap was a puppy, he worshipped Lex and Kusto, our Big Dogs, who both died when Cap was a year old. Lex died in December 2016, and Kusto in July 2017.
I guess technically Cap was 2 when Kusto died. Still.
We got Mila in January 2017, when she was 11 weeks old, and Cap adored her from moment one.
And now she's gone, too.
No wonder he's been clinging to everybody and crying in his sleep.
I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry.
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