#love trying to tell my mom that she has a bunch of expired foods in her fridge and if she doesnt
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#love trying to tell my mom that she has a bunch of expired foods in her fridge and if she doesnt#get rid of them im gonna go thru and clean everything out bc someones gonna get sick#and she immediately turned on me as me picking on her and belittling her 😐😐😐😐😐#for telling her i dont want her to get sick from eating expired food 😐😐😐😐#moving back home in ur 20s is wild y'all
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cats in the cradle by Duck_Life
Fandoms: Supernatural [Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply]
Words: 1,745
Tags: Claire Novak & Patience Turner, Cats, Psychic Abilities, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Friendship, Found Family, claire novak will see a stray animal and be like, is anyone gonna project onto this, and not wait for an answer
Summary: Claire helps Patience hone her abilities. Patience helps Claire track down a cat.
Written for SPN Women Week Day 1. Prompt: "skills"
Bub is missing again.
“Bub” is the name of a mean stray cat missing a chunk from his ear. Claire’s been leaving cat food out for the ugly old thing for weeks now, and whenever he doesn’t come running she panics.
So, for the third time, Patience finds herself enlisted in the search for a cat that Claire doesn’t even technically own. “If it’s gonna bother you this much every time,” Patience says, “why don’t you just take it in? You know, get him his shots, a collar, a microchip.”
Claire makes a face at her before turning back to look at the road. She’s been driving around the neighborhood slowly, scoping out every shrub and checking under every parked car. “Bub doesn’t want to be chained down,” she explains. “He’s a free spirit.”
Alright, well, Patience is too tired to unpack that right now. She lets it lie and looks out the passenger’s side window, alert for any signs of movement. “Maybe he was never a stray at all,” she tries, “and his owner finally tracked him down and brought him home.”
“Do you know that?” Claire asks.
Claire’s always asking if Patience knows things— what happened on Jody’s date last weekend, what Dean’s middle name is, whether or not Alex is the one who ate the last ice cream sandwich in the freezer. Patience keeps trying to explain that she can only see the future. “Psychic” might be a misnomer— her abilities are precognitive, not telepathic.
She basically gets previews, little spoilers about what’s to come. And though she’s been working at it, she can’t seem to get her psychic abilities to do the kind of reading and divination her grandma could do. She gets glimpses with no context, no backstory.
Missouri Moseley could walk into a room and feel every ounce of heartbreak, grief, hope and faith in the people standing there. Patience can barely pick up on it when Alex and Claire are pissed at each other.
Still, Claire brings her along whenever the cat goes missing. Seems to think her ESP can home in on missing animals. Patience keeps telling her otherwise, and yet here she is, once again. That’s the trouble with having no social life and no better plans.
Maybe she should join a book club.
Claire rounds the corner, eyes darting around for any sight of the mangy cat. The first time Bub vanished from Claire’s sight, all the neighbors seemed intent to help. They explained they hadn’t seen the cat, but hoped Claire would find him soon and offered baked goods and platitudes in the meantime.
But these things have an expiration date. You can only lose the cat so many times before the routine gets old and the neighbors lose interest.
“My educated guess ?” Patience sighs. “The cat’ll come back when it gets hungry. Just like before.”
Claire makes a tch sound and mouths “educated guess” under her breath. Apparently, because Patience is psychic she’s supposed to be omniscient. “So which is it?” Claire says. “Is he back with his ‘real’ owners or is he going to come home when he gets hungry?”
“Don’t be a jerk,” Patience says. “I’m here, aren’t I? I’m helping you.”
“... Yeah. You are,” Claire says, ducking her head. “Sorry.” Her eyes scan the road ahead, looking for the telltale streak of a cat darting out from under a parked car or vanishing around a tree trunk. Still nothing. “Hey, Patience the Pet Psychic,” Claire says. “You should write that down, that’d be a great children’s book.”
“Very funny,” Patience says, rolling her eyes. She’s silent for a few moments and then says, “Cla-aire the Monster Slayer.”
“That doesn’t really rhyme.”
“Sure it does.”
When the sky darkens and the streetlights flick on, Claire drives them back to the house, Bub-less and dejected. “I’m sure he’s fine,” Patience tries.
Claire bunches her shoulders, the collar of her leather jacket looking like a cat’s raised hackles. Maybe, Patience thinks, that’s the connection— Claire in many ways resembles an angry cat. She and Bub might be kindred spirits.
“I’m just tired,” Claire says, yanking the keys out of the ignition. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”
Patience considers pointing out that Claire could at least ask instead of just assuming , considers reminding Claire that she has her own life outside of playing “pet psychic.”
But she doesn’t actually have anything to do tomorrow. Or the rest of the week. And as futile as it feels riding around looking for a runaway cat, it is something to do. And it makes Claire feel better.
And… straining her psychic muscles to pick up on any trace of the old tomcat is at least better than doing nothing and letting her abilities degrade. Over the last year, she’s been trying to find ways to train her brain, shape her psychic visions into something useful.
Jody’s supportive, but she, like most people, doesn’t know anything about being psychic. Kaia’s got a fraught relationship with her own special skills and usually chooses not to talk to Patience about seeing the future, and Alex is so entrenched in nursing and hunting that the few “normal” moments she gets at home are devoted to unwinding and relaxing.
Which makes Claire Patience’s most ardent supporter in developing her psychic abilities. A very grouchy, blonde and mostly clueless Yoda. What she lacks in background knowledge she makes up for in persistence.
“Hey, Patience, guess which hand?” Claire will ask, holding the last fortune cookie behind her back. “Hey, Patience, what number am I thinking of?” Claire will ask, perched on the arm of the couch. “Hey, Patience, heads or tails?” Claire will ask, flipping a coin to catch it in midair.
That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of it works— Patience can’t predict things at will. Her psychic visions operate on a schedule of their own, with no concern for Patience’s own convenience or comfort. One minute, she’s watching shitty reality TV while Alex nods off on her shoulder. The next, she’s watching Jody narrowly avoid being bitten by a vampire.
It’s a lot different from just guessing a coin toss. Still. Patience can’t help but think that her grandma would’ve passed all of Claire’s little tests with flying colors.
That night, Patience doesn’t dream about anything— at least, not anything useful. She has an anxiety dream about being lost in Aldi, roaming the aisles with increasing frustration. But nothing about the future. Nothing about Bub the cat.
She’s pouring herself a bowl of cereal when Claire stomps inside, the porch door swinging shut behind her. “Still gone,” she says darkly, grabbing the cereal box and her own bowl. “Food hasn’t been touched.”
“Claire,” Patience says, “why don’t we just go to the SPCA? You can get yourself a cat that’s not, you know—”
“What? Not damaged? Not a lost cause? Not hard to love?”
Whoa, Patience wants to say. “A cat that’s not missing ,” she finishes. “We can get him his shots and a collar and everything.”
“I don’t— I don’t just want some random cat,” Claire says. “I want to find Bub. I want… I want to find him and bring him home. I have to bring him home.”
“I know,” Patience says, and just like that she does . She does know.
She knows everything, feels everything, the aching loss in Claire’s bones that’s both recent and so, so old. Memories of Claire hitchhiking and stealing and conning her way through the country, desperately chasing a mother who was desperately chasing a dead man. Jimmy Novak’s voice in her head, his face seen through Claire’s eyes, Please, Castiel, take me. Just take me. Again, his forehead pressed to hers, Take care of your mom, okay, bub?
Bub.
Patience looks at Claire. Sees her, in a way she hasn’t been able to see anyone before. “Bub… ‘bub’ is what your dad used to call you.”
Claire squints at her. “Uh. Yeah,” she says. “Wait, I didn’t… I didn’t tell you that.”
“No,” Patience breathes, meeting her eyes across the kitchen, “you didn’t.”
Slowly, a grin spreads across Claire’s face. “Holy shit , Patience, you just… ? You just did that. You, like, read me.”
“I, uh, I didn’t know. That I could do that,” Patience says, caught between marveling at this new development and feeling self-conscious at intruding on Claire’s emotions and her past.
Claire doesn’t seem put off at all. She’s actually bouncing with excitement. “We gotta test this out. Oh my God. It’s like a whole new Pokemon evolution for you.”
“It’s not really. Like that. In any way.”
But Claire is already humming the Pokemon theme song. She grabs her car keys. “Alright, well, let’s go look for that cat. I’ve got a good feeling about today.”
“I read you, Claire, that doesn’t mean I can read the cat,” Patience reminds her.
“Yeah, yeah, but you can still help me look,” Claire says. “I don’t need your third eye, just the two on your face.”
“That’s… yeah, fine,” Patience acquiesces. To be honest, she’s buzzing with the knowledge of what she can do with her powers. If Claire’s happy to be her test subject, she’ll spend all day with the girl. “Just let me grab a coffee.”
“Ooh, me too. Wait!” She wiggles her fingers toward Patience. “Do you Know how I like my coffee?”
“Half-and-half. And enough sugar to kill you,” Patience reels off. “But that’s not because I’m psychic. I’ve just seen you fix yourself coffee before.”
“Y’know, I think the line between ‘psychic’ and ‘observant’ is thinner than you might think.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Patience says, and then pretends to stumble backward toward the table, overacting the part. “Oh, oh, I’m having a vision… I see you … making coffee for us…”
Claire rolls her eyes, but she dutifully sets her keys down and busies herself with getting the travel mugs out. “That’s not gonna work for everything, you know.”
“Aaah I see you bringing Jody’s suit to the dry cleaners next week. I also see you driving me to the science museum.”
“Hilarious.”
Patience smiles at her. It’s nice to have someone else get excited about her powers. It’s nice to be allowed to be excited about this, to learn a new skill and have it mean something good to someone besides herself. She doesn’t feel like a freak or a failure. She just feels… like a psychic.
She feels like her grandma would be proud.
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personal post under the cut!! because i have Feelings and nowhere else for them to go!!
99% sure my present crush is unrequited (or at least, totally unfeasible) and i am going to have to Get Over It and i’m just so sad. i haven’t liked anyone like this since 2013. like for real-real “oh shit we could be good together for like, a long time”
i know i shouldn’t go from “your crush doesn’t like you back because sometimes there’s not the kind of connection you think there is” OR “they do like you back but you fall in love 0 to 100 and most people aren’t like that and your eagerness kind of freaks them out so maybe tone it down” to “you are fundamentally unworthy of love and you will die alone” [jaskier voice] and yet here we are
i’m trying to remind myself that you don’t always have to want things from people, it’s okay to just appreciate knowing them and enjoy the feelings they conjure in you, without acting on them or pushing them
since it’s been so long since i’ve had a proper crush and i can now see it through post-therapy eyes, i’ve definitely learned a lot about myself, namely that romantic love is actually very important to me, and if i go a lifetime without it, it’ll feel like something is missing. unlike sex, which i am truly ambivalent about. this really firmly answers the “am i aro” question i’ve had for a long time, and that answer is no.
i’m finally home and my grandma is going through some kind of major trauma event where she’s hoarding food in the spare room and organizing it by expiration date, fixating on eating almost-expired food, and every time i see her she begins listing every food item in the entire house along with the expiration dates, which she has memorized
yesterday i was trying to focus on adding stuff to our online grocery order and she just wouldn’t stop listing food and i had to cover my ears and beg her to stop for just a few minutes so i could finish the grocery order
she’s buying food she knows she won’t eat, just because she noticed the grocery was out of it. has never once in her life eaten frozen pineapple but bought a five pound bag of it just because the freezer aisle looked a little empty. a huge thing of baby wipes even though we don’t have a baby. big jar of pizza sauce for absolutely no reason. when i asked her what she planned to eat it with, she said “you could put it on bread or something” and i said “but do you like that? does that sound good to you?” and she said no but she bought it anyway “just in case”
she spent all day demanding i put food on the grocery order, and when i finally did, she got on me for buying food for meals “when we have plenty” but i tried to explain i don’t want to eat a bunch of expired boxed and canned food for meals, and she was APPALLED, like how dare we try to live normally when clearly we should be living and eating like we’re in a bomb shelter
i’ve been gone for 7 weeks and in that time she has not bought a single fresh fruit or vegetable
i shouldn’t have left the residency. i was happy there. i had friends and we hung out every other night and made food for each other. i was in a town where no one had tested positive and the groceries were well-stocked. we had a makeshift movie theater in my apartment. and i left because i was worried about my grandma, and now that i’m home i realize my presence is not really helping her anyway, and i am so far out of my depth.
i’ve been thinking a lot about self-neglect and the way everything i do exists to fuel my writing and how that’s not a particularly balanced way of living.
more specifically i’m thinking about how before i became a teacher i was still a teacher you know? like i didn’t have a job teaching or a classroom or a subject, but my personality was still very much a teacher. it’s in my genes. there’s no avoiding it. and so that whole part of me came out in inappropriate ways because it couldn’t be helped. i was didactic and pedantic and i lectured people when i had no authority. and as soon as i was put in front of a classroom with a syllabus and students, it was like, i finally had a place to put all that energy.
and i was a writer before i wrote, too. i journaled obsessively starting at 14, and the entire time i wasn’t writing i was denying myself that energy that needed to go to Making Stuff. and when i started writing, that excess creative energy had a place to go.
so i just wonder, what kinds of energy are misplaced? i think maybe i’m a mom without children, and that’s why i’m so inclined toward caretaking even when it’s not appropriate. and i’m a wife with no spouse. an athlete who doesn’t train. a chef who doesn’t cook. i deny myself all these things so i can put all that energy into the writing box, when really i need love and family and exercise and nutrition.
two friends gave me tarot readings last week. FOUR of the cards were the same across both readings. the sun, the hanged man, nine of pentacles, ten of swords. it just seems clear to me the universe is trying to tell me something and i am trying so hard to listen but i don’t feel like i have the tools to fix anything right now.
it almost doesn’t matter; everything is on a path. unless universities close for fall semester, i’m moving to mississippi in august and my whole life is gonna be different anyway.
okay!! that’s all!! intermission over. gonna go back to thirstposting geralt of rivia again
#sns#maybe will delete#def gonna delete this next tag but#crush looks like adam driver#so you can see why i am devastated
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dead dadiversary 2: electric boogaloo
On this day (plus 1 day) two years ago, I heard my father take his last breath. Though two years have passed, the grief still sits in the back of my mind every day- rearing its head at the worst possible times. For months now, I’ve been able to push it aside, I’ve had a lot going on to distract me- finals, graduation, moving to New York, being broke, trying to find a job, etc. But now, for the last week, as I’m trying to go to sleep I’ve found myself lying in bed and quietly crying. I’ve been unable to keep my dead dad feelings repressed like I normally do. There’s been a lot of re-living scenarios, conjuring up guilt that I shouldn’t really have but still do anyways. There’s been a lot of “It’s not fair that my dad is dead!!!” anger. There’s just been... a lot. As I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting lately, I remembered an essay that I wrote 10 months after my dad died as a term paper for my Women’s Autobiographical Writing class. I never posted it online anywhere- so as a celebration of my 2nd annual Dead Dadiversary, here it is
+++
My dad was an alcoholic. I hate telling people that, not because I’m ashamed of my father, but because of the reaction I always get. It’s always the same sort of unease from anyone I tell. No one knows how to react, because everyone assumes that because my dad was an alcoholic, he was inherently abusive. Or that he was inherently a neglectful father. Or that he was inherently just generally not a good parent. That’s the farthest from the truth though. My dad was the best. My dad was always the best. When my dad died, I wrote something to read at his funeral, and I feel like this directly reflects the impact he had on my life.
A few days after my 20th birthday, my dad came into my room and said- “It has been an honor and a privilege to spend these last twenty years with you,” I feel like this is an appropriate sentiment to start this speech, because I reciprocate that wholeheartedly. There is no one I would have rather had by my side for the last 20 years. I couldn’t have asked for a better parent. Despite my acting like an awful teen at times, he always was on my side. I think that’s what I’ll miss the most. I’ll miss having someone who had my back 100%. I’ll miss having someone who was always making sure I was happy. No matter what I wanted, my dad would always see that I got it.
When I decided that I wanted to go to art school in Chicago, he didn’t say “that’s not realistic,” he started to help me get everything in order to go. When those plans fell through, he helped me apply to UT. When I got accepted, he helped me move to Austin. During my first semester, when I doubted my major, while other parents were forcing their kids to be lawyers or doctors, he told me to do what I love. At the end of the semester, when I had a breakdown and hated college, he told me that I didn’t have to go if it wasn’t making me happy. My dad always encouraged me to do what made me happy, and he always did what he could to ensure I could live the life I wanted. I’ll miss that kind of guidance the most.
I’ll also miss the little things as well, the way he called me ‘old sport,’ or the way he listened to me ramble on and on about whatever it was that I was obsessed with. (He could probably tell you 100 different useless facts about My Chemical Romance) The way he always helped me with my school projects (not just the 5th grade science fair, but even my college research papers). The way he always stocked the fridge with food I loved when I came home from college etc.
My dad was my best friend, which I’m sure a lot of you feel the same way about. Never in my life have I met someone so compassionate and caring. I have never met someone who cared so deeply for everyone they loved. In my life, I hope people remember me as fondly as everyone remembers my father.
When I was growing up, my mother was a nurse; she worked at an inconvenient time every day. While she was working, I went to school from 7:45am to 4:45pm, which meant that our paths crossed very little. For the first 13 years of my life, I never really saw my mom. My dad was an alcoholic, but he still woke me up for school every day. He made me breakfast, and brushed my hair. He walked me to school and gave me a kiss goodbye every day. At 3:45, every afternoon, he was there waiting to pick me up. He walked me home, made me dinner, and helped me do my homework. Every night he tucked me into bed and made sure I went to sleep at a normal hour.
When I was growing up, my dad always went to all my soccer games. He cheered me on relentlessly even though I was the most embarrassing player on the team. He came to all my choir performances, even though I only sang one line most of the time. He volunteered at every single event my school put on. He organized talent shows and chaperoned field trips and donated money. My dad was an alcoholic, but he was always my biggest supporter.
In elementary school, of course, I didn’t know that my dad was an alcoholic. At night I would hear my parents arguing over money, but I never really grasped what exactly was happening. At night I would hear my dad complaining about how he was unhappy, about how he could never sleep well, about how tired he was. During the day he wasn’t like that, he was my best friend. My best, coherent, alert friend. My dad was an alcoholic, but he never let me see it when I was a child.
In middle school, my dad was my closest friend. In 6th grade, my family had just moved from Austin to Abilene and I was having a hard time adjusting to the new city. I didn’t make friends very easily, because I was very different from everyone else. Everyone at my new school was very clean-cut, very Christian, and very affluent. I however, was a little weird, very non-religious, and very poor. It was hard for me to relate. In this time of transition, I would come home and complain about my day to my dad, every single day. He would let me vent, he would give me advice, and he would ask if there was anything he could do to make it better. If there was anything he could do, he would do it without skipping a beat. My dad was always there to make sure that I was happy. My dad was an alcoholic, but my happiness was always his number one priority.
In high school I finally started to understand what was going on. Partially because the situation had escalated, and partially because I was old enough to start to realize the character flaws in my father. My dad had a routine, every morning; he would go to the grocery store and get groceries. He would run errands, and then come home and clean for a few hours. He would pay the bills, and then he would start drinking. I’d come home from class and he would be on the couch. We would watch Jeopardy together and then I would go to my room to do homework. He would make dinner. Then he would drink some more. And some more. He’d drink until he was able to eventually fall asleep. And then he would fitfully sleep through the night. He would wake up the next day and do the same thing over again. My dad was an alcoholic, but he still managed to keep the house together.
In this time, I started to get an opinion on his drinking. I hated it. It made me so unhappy to see him like that. When he was drunk, he just wasn’t himself. It’s not that he was mean, or abusive, or negligent. He just wasn’t who I knew and loved. I missed my dad so much. My dad was an alcoholic, and it was starting to take a toll on me.
When I went off to college, it was great because I got the best of my dad at all times. I didn’t have to see him when he was drunk, but we would constantly talk on the phone. I’d call him during the breaks between my classes, and I’d call him whenever I needed help on an assignment. I’d Skype him once a week and make fun of his long hair and tell him how much I miss him. He’d get drunk every day. He was still always my biggest supporter, my best friend, and my confidant. I’d come home for spring break or for Christmas and spend time with him, he would be drunk for most of it, but the few sober moments I got were the greatest. My dad was an alcoholic, but he still loved me despite all the poor choices I made during college.
February of my sophomore year, I got a call from my mother. Dad was in the emergency room. The trip to the emergency room turned into a bunch of meetings with doctors, which turned into a cancer diagnosis, which turned into him only having three months left to live. I guess I was in denial of the whole situation, because I just played it off like it wasn’t really a big deal. I continued to go to school, would call home occasionally and majorly just ignored what was happening. My dad’s health continued to decline, but three months later, he was still alive. At this point he was living on borrowed time. My dad was an alcoholic, and he was dying.
In May, I moved back home to spend time with my dad in his last few months. His friends and I would joke about how he was past his expiration date, but it was incredible to me that he was still alive. In this time, we got hospice services involved. My home turned into a makeshift hospital. Where laughter and conversation used to fill the room, the sound of my dad’s oxygen machine hummed. Where we used to make dinner together every night turned into a graveyard for empty take-out containers. Some days were better than others though, and those good days were incredible. The bad days were devastating. My father became a ghost of who he used to be. He was unable to stand on his own, unable to speak clearly, unable to live his life.
When I was younger, I was a child actor. Part of that hobby included being able to cry on cue. Only one thing could make me cry on cue, thinking about my dad being sick or dead. Nothing triggered tears quicker than the thought of losing my dad. Any time I needed to conjure up some tears, whether it be for a scene, or to get my way in an argument, I would just think of that. Though I was experienced in making myself cry, nothing could have prepared me for when it actually happened. During the summer before my dad died, I played over how it would probably go in my head over and over- just to prepare myself. I figured that in the early morning, I would hear my mother crying, and that would be it. I was basically right.
In my parents’ house, my room is directly next to my parents’ room, which means that I can hear whenever they’re watching tv, or talking through the walls. I could also hear my dad struggling to breathe in his sleep. I could hear how each breath was a huge undertaking. I was heartbroken. I was scared. I knew it was coming. The next day, when the hospice nurse came, she told us that they were going to start “comfort care” for my dad. Morphine every 15 minutes, no food or water unless he asks for it. That night, I heard the same struggle for breath. I finally fell asleep. I woke up at about 6am, and could still hear the breath getting caught in my dad’s throat. At 7:20 I stopped hearing it. At 7:30 I heard my mother wailing. At 7:30 I walked into my parents room to see my mother holding my dad’s hand in bed, my dad lifeless. At 7:32 my mother turned to me and said, “I just lost my best friend,” I choked out a weak “me too,” and sat down next to her quietly. I was in shock. My dad was an alcoholic, and he had just died.
The days following that are a blur. I had never known such a deep and profound sadness. When my dad’s ashes got delivered, I didn’t know what to do with them. We didn’t get an urn. We put the ashes in a flowerpot we had bought from goodwill a few months beforehand. I think he would have appreciated that. So many of my friends reached out to me, some people I hadn’t talked to in months sent condolence texts. My best friend immediately went out and bought me a ton of snacks and mailed them to me the next day. My home was filled with flowers, and condolence cakes, and “sorry for your loss” cards- but it still felt overwhelmingly empty without my dad there. My dad was an alcoholic and I missed him every single hour of every single day.
In the months following his death, I went through all the stages of grief. September was a month of constant tears. Not only was I under the stress of taking 15 hours of class, but also I was still just trying to cope with the loss of my father. Every little thing would remind me of him. Every time something happened, I wanted to call him and tell him about it. I found myself missing the littlest things about him. That’s the hardest part, the little things. The way he would email me stupid jokes he found. The way he would call me “old sport,” every time we talked on the phone. The way he would call me just to tell me about a cool new song he heard. In October I was angry, angry that my dad was gone. I was angry with myself for not being as present as I could have been during his last months. I was angry at the universe for taking away my best friend. In November, I finally settled down and got my emotions in check.
It’s been 10 months since my dad died, and I don’t miss him any less. I think of him every single day and I wish more than anything he was here. I’m upset that he’ll never be around to see me graduate, or see me get married, or witness the day that I finally get a job and stop borrowing money from my parents. I’m upset that I’ve lost my best friend. Despite that though, I’ve finally started to come to peace with it. Every day I try to live my life in a way that I know he’d be proud of. I try to remember his constant support. I try to remember his words of assurance when I feel like things are going terribly. I try to remember the way that he treated everyone with kindness and compassion. Every day, I try to do the same. I put everyone in my life before me; I’m always a shoulder to lean on. I want everyone I know to feel the same way my dad made me feel- loved and happy. My dad was an alcoholic, and he was the best person I ever knew.
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Blink (An AU Fosters family fic) Chapter 57
CHAPTER 57
Pearl’s hands are shaking on the steering wheel. Her phone is on speaker so she can talk without having to hold it. She can’t move. Can’t think. It’s 9:32. Six minutes since she saw him. She keeps checking the rearview mirror, but hasn’t seen him come out yet. Steve and Sue. But not him.
With those three kids in tow, she’ll definitely notice when he comes out.
Kids.
The thought makes her sick to her stomach. How could a man like that have kids? Pearl can’t stop crying. She can’t focus. Can’t breathe. Can’t hear Jesus or Stef.
Gracie’s with her, though. She’s come up on the passenger seat and stretched across it so her front paws are on Pearl’s lap. She’s whining and licking Pearl’s face. It helps. Just barely, but it helps.
“I’m not going to be able to calm down until I know he’s gone…” she manages, gasping every few words.
“I know,” Jesus offers. Not advice. Not a directive. Just understanding. He gets what a hellish experience this must be for her.
“Just stay where you are. Don’t try to drive anywhere. Let me know when you see him leave.” Stef. With all the advice and directives. Well, Pearl needs someone to advise her. She has no idea how to cope with seeing him for the first time in fifteen years.
She’s seen his picture, sure. He’s been in the papers at the center of the town gossip, but not for what he’d done to her. That, somehow, had only smeared Pearl’s name. It’s everything that being in close proximity to him brings up. The scent of him. His eyes on her. His categorical denial of having done anything wrong at all, even at the time.
“I’m sorry for calling. For bothering you. God, I’m such an idiot. It’s early there…” Pearl rants trying to catch her breath.
Gracie’s still right in Pearl’s space trying to calm her down the best she can. Having her there anchors Pearl in the present in the way nothing else can. Surrounded by all these people and places she knew at sixteen, it’s hard not to feel pulled back through time. But Pearl hadn’t had Gracie then.
“Hey. It’s okay,” Jesus insists. “I don’t mind. I was up anyway.”
“It’s the weekend…” she manages. “Saturday! God, I’m a horrible person. Just hang up with me. I’m fine…” she sobs.
Her phone clicks off, almost causing Pearl to hyperventilate until she sees the Skype call coming through. From Jesus. She thinks about not answering. But what would she do without somebody to help ground her? Gracie’s doing great, but Pearl needs all the help she can get.
Reaching out a shaky hand, she hits the green button and waits. Jesus’s concerned face and messy bed hair fill the screen. Pearl tries not to focus on what her own face must look like right now.
“I know you’re not fine. And that’s okay. You can be however you are,” Jesus says patiently as Pearl looks away. Her eyes flick to the clock inside the car. 9:39.
“God, where is he?” she insists, craning her neck around to see.
“Try to breathe,” Jesus says gently. “I’m right here. I called so you could see me. Like you called me, remember? In the car? And a bunch of other times? I think it helps to see each other. What do you think?”
“He has children…. How is someone like him even allowed to have kids?!”
“Pearl. Hey,” Stef’s firm and in control voice. Her face fills the screen. “You need to talk to us. When you see anyone come out, check your mirror and tell me if you see him leaving the area. Are there other cars still in the lot?”
“Not around me, but yeah…”
“Okay. I know you’re worried. I want you to stay with us.”
“Mom, I got her,” Jesus interjects, and his face fills the screen. “I got you. Okay? I’m not right there, but I have your back. Don’t think about him right now. What do you need? Do you know?”
“Just talk to me...about anything else…”
“Okay...I drew a tree yesterday in therapy,” he offers.
This gets through. Pearl can feel her gaze sharpen even with the tears and the shaking and the racing thoughts and the freezing and the shorting out of her brain. “Really?” she asks, touched.
“Yeah. You wanna think about growing? I know trees don’t usually grow in cars, but it might help. Think about growing more steady. More firmly rooted. All that stuff you said to me. Try to breathe slower if you can.”
Pearl does try. It’s awful. Her body feels like it’s completely out of her control. She can’t stop shaking. It reminds her of that long night in the woods. She can’t even focus her mind much less her energy.
“The post office is only open until 10:00! It’s 9:45. He’s been in there almost twenty minutes. No one needs to take that long!”
Gracie licks her face.
“If I had just come yesterday or brought it last week when I was here, none of this would be happening…” Pearl moans.
“It’s not on you at all,” Jesus says. “It’s not. You deserve to be able to go out and live your life without being scared all the time. If he saw you coming, it was on him to turn the hell around and walk the other way.”
For a while, all Pearl can do is cry quietly. She knows Jesus is trying to help, and he is, but she feels so alone out here. She wishes somebody were here to help her. To get her home safely. So she didn’t have to sit here in terror for a half an hour while she…
“He’s coming out…” she says suddenly, sitting forward, her eyes fixed on the rearview mirror. “With the post office employee. They’re talking. Laughing. She’s helping him with the kids. He’s getting in his car.” Pearl holds her breath. Watches Jolly wave as he pulls out and turns onto the main road.
She watches until she can’t see his car anymore.
“He’s gone,” Pearl sighs. Then she cuts the call, leans out the door, and vomits in the parking lot.
--
“Mom. Where is she?” Jesus asks, eyes wide. “Seriously. Why would she just hang up like that?”
“Honey, I don’t know. If you need a break, you should go in and talk to Mama. I’ll keep trying to get a hold of Pearl. Make sure she’s okay. But we need to make sure you’re taken care of, too, yes?”
“Yeah,” he admits.
“And this is very stressful on you. So I am calling ‘Time’ right now. Go take a break,” Stef opens the door and calls inside for Lena, making sure she hears a response before sending Jesus inside.
When she’s alone, Stef calls Pearl back on her own phone. Keeps calling, until Pearl picks up.
“What?” she says in a ragged voice.
“Pearl? It’s Stef. How are you, love?”
Nothing.
“Pearl? I know it’s hard but I need you to answer me. Are you okay?”
“No…” she manages, voice breaking.
“Okay. Stay on the phone. You’re still safe, though, yes? He’s gone? You’re still in your car with the doors locked?”
“Yes.”
“Good. So, we’ll just hang out here together. I sent Jesus in to talk to Lena for a bit, so you don’t have to worry about keeping it together for him.”
“I wasn’t,” Pearl sniffs. “Some role model I am, right?”
“You are, actually,” Stef says warmly. “I’m very glad Jesus has you to talk to. Lena and I try to be there for him as best we can, but when it comes down to it, we don’t understand. He needs to have someone he can relate to. Someone older, who can tell him it’s going to be okay.”
“But it’s not…” Pearl whispers. “It’s not okay.”
“Well, Jesus hasn’t had it easy lately either, love. And I hesitate to speak for him, but I’d like to think that it’s reassuring for him to know that he’s not the only one struggling. It’s okay to have hard days. It’s not okay what happened to you, but your reaction to it makes sense.”
“You don’t have to be so nice to me... “ Pearl mutters. “I realize I’m a huge mess.”
Jesus sticks his head out the door. “Mom? Can I talk to Pearl?”
“Did you take a break with Mama?” Stef checks.
“Yeah. I showed her and Frankie how to grow like trees. They even did it with me.”
Stef gives Jesus a confused look. She misses out on so many references having five teenagers, and this tree thing of Jesus and Pearl’s is no different.
“It’s a grounding thing I taught him,” Pearl offers tearfully.
“I see. Well, I’ll leave the porch to you both,” Stef says as Jesus calls Pearl back from his own phone. “Pearl, you let us know when you’re home safely, please, and Jesus? If you start to feel unsafe, let someone know.”
“I know. I will,” he answers.
--
Jesus is in such a better place after talking Mama and Frankie through growing like trees. It was hard for Frankie, but she managed, when he, she and Mama all held hands as they grew. He’s thinking that everyone could benefit from Pearl’s version of grounding, but for now, Jesus is focused on actually being there for Pearl.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I still have to drive home,” Pearl offers, sounding hollow. Empty. It’s nerve-wracking seeing her like this.
“You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. There’s time,” he offers. “I know it’s hard, but try not to shut down. Okay? Please?”
It’s a comfort that Jesus can clearly see Gracie all over Pearl. With all that on her lap, there’s no way she can shut down totally. Jesus hopes, anyway.
“Do you have any food with you? Anything sweet?” he asks. “I don’t know why, but sugar seems to help me when I’m super scared.”
Jesus waits as Pearl struggles to glance around Gracie. “I have old dressing from a Chinese place...and an expired can of Coke…” Pearl grimaces.
He watches as she tries to steady herself enough to open the can. Wishes he could just reach out and help her. Offer it to her the way his Moms help him when he can’t manage. But Pearl opens it on her own and takes a small sip.
“Surprised it’s not frozen solid,” Jesus jokes, trying to lighten the mood.
“Amazingly, no. Gracie, back. You can’t drink this,” Pearl admonishes, sounding a lot more like herself. She’s still shaking but she seems to be coming around. She takes another sip. “This is seriously disgusting.”
“Why do you have it in your car?” Jesus wonders.
“Because my mom wanted Diet Coke but they were out, so I picked up this out of a vending machine and she didn’t want it.”
“Too bad for her...good for you, though…” he offers.
“I suppose. Listen, I am really sorry. This is the last thing I wanted to do. I told myself I wasn’t gonna bother you today.”
“Stop. I want you to bother me. I always want that. I told you yesterday that I’d come with you here, if you wanted. I wasn’t kidding. Stop apologizing.”
“It’s just...you’ve been dealing with so much.”
“And sometimes our stuff overlaps. You obviously called me for some reason. And I knew I might need backup, which is why I got my mom. I didn’t wanna be telling you the wrong things to do. I can handle myself. When the pressure’s on. When I have to act. That feels normal to me. Being at home, safe and comfortable is what doesn’t.”
“I called because Mariana said you outsmarted Him...so I thought...Jesus will know what to do…”
He smiles, just a little. ��“Well, I don’t know about that. But I tried. And I’m glad you called.”
Pearl takes another breath. “I need to try to get home.”
“Will you call? Let me know you got home okay?” he asks.
“Sure, if you want. But then, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna crash.”
“Okay. Drive safe. If you need to pull over and call back, do it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t try to push through.”
“I will,” Pearl says. “Or...I won’t… Whatever’s appropriate.”
When Jesus hangs up with Pearl, he goes in the house to grab a notebook and a pen and ducks back out again. Sits on the swing. Writes:
Dear Pearl,
Most people don’t know this but I have a hard time putting pen to paper. I have a lot of scary memories that go with doing that. But I wanted to write you because I know how important it can be to have proof of someone’s words and feelings especially after something tough.
I carry important people’s words around with me: yours, Mari’s, Isaac’s. This way, I hope you’ll be able to have my words to look back on if you’re ever scared again. Getting your letter after I had a panic attack in the car really helped. I read it every day. I want the same for you,
So, I hate that this happened to you, but you are every bit as strong and fearless as you ever were. I don’t view you as weak or a horrible person. Because your MY person, Pearl. Your so important to me because you give me hope that I can grow up and be like you and maybe help someone like me who needs it.
Please don’t get down on yourself, You are so awesome, okay? Believe that. With freaking out. With trauma. With all that. You don’t have to be perfect. Because your just you and that’s enough.
You are enough. And I’ll always have your back.
I care about you so much,
Jesus
His phone pings with a message from Pearl. It’s a house emoji, probably because there isn’t a cabin one.
Jesus doesn’t want Pearl to have to wait days for this letter so he snaps a pic of it and texts it to her.
Doesn’t hear back. But he doesn’t really expect to. She needs to rest. And he needs to let her.
He’ll check in with her tomorrow.
Jesus closes his eyes. He hopes she’ll be a bit better by then. He hates to see his friend having such a hard time.
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Just about any food item that you pick up is going to have a date that says something along the lines of “sell by,” “best if used by,” or “use by.” The question is, though, how important are those dates? Well, in some instances, they’re important. In others, not so much.
Baby formulas have strict dates on them – they’re about the only foods absolutely required by law to have them. Stores can’t sell them beyond that date and it’s not recommended that you use them beyond that, either.
Perishable Items
Perishable items such as milk, eggs, and meats should be used by the date on the package. Most meats have a “sell by” date, which means that the store or producer has likely figured that you’re going to keep it in your fridge for up to a week after that, so they allow a little wiggle room.
If you buy perishables that are within a couple of days of the “sell by” date, either use it or freeze it within a day or so just to be safe. It’s always a good idea, especially with meat, to eat it or freeze it within a few days of buying it even if you haven’t reached that date. (Poultry – 1-3 days, other meats, 3-5 days) It’s better to be safe than suffer food poisoning.
Now, if you’re talking about perishables that came from your farm, you may have a little more wiggle room.
Discover the ingenious recipes that helped our ancestors stay alive!
Eggs
Eggs most certainly last longer – It’s not uncommon for an egg to be a couple of weeks old by the time you buy them at the grocery store so if you’re pulling them straight from under the hen as soon as she lays it, you have some extra fridge time on those babies.
When you buy them from the store, you still have a minimum of 3-5 weeks that they’ll be good. Want to know if an egg is bad? Use the water test. If you put it in a container of water and it sinks, it’s fresh. If it sort of hover-floats with one end sticking up, but the rest trying to sink, it’s not so fresh anymore but edible. If it floats like your bobber in the middle of a choppy sea, toss it.
Milk
Milk, on the other hand, may not have any extra time, especially if you don’t pasteurize it – which we never did. The good thing about milk is that you don’t have to guess if it’s good or not. One solid swig of spoiled milk and there’s no doubt left in your mind! I’ve found that the “sell by” dates on my store-bought milk (oh how I miss the good stuff!!) usually allows me a week or so beyond it to drink it up.
Other foods, such as canned foods or shelf-stable foods, have the same tags, but this often has more to do with quality than safety.
For instance, I found a box of mac and cheese in the cabinet (I rarely cook that type of food, so it had been there awhile). The mystery cheese powder was a little dark and I found that the “best by” date was nearing. Like within a week. I mixed it up and, though I didn’t get sick, it didn’t taste that great. This is a good reason to practice the First-In-First-Out rotation method.
Food Preserved at Home
Food that you preserve at home has expiration dates, too, or at least some of them do. So, let’s talk about expiration dates, when they’re relevant, why they’re important, and how you can keep track.
The best way to determine if perishable foods are good is to look at them, feel them, and give them the sniff test. Bad meat will smell “off” and may look a little discolored and feel slimy. Especially with poultry, if you suspect it may be bad, pitch it – it’s not worth the risk.
If you ever run across a commercial can of food that’s bulging or leaking, toss it. If your home-canned goods are leaking or the seal has popped, toss it. If, when you open either commercial or home-canned goods, the food is frothy, discolored, milky, slimy, or smells off, toss it. Those are all pretty good signs that botulism is present.
After you throw it away, scrub your hands in hot, soapy water. That’s a bug that’s meaner than old Aunt Sally when she’s lost her teeth and her panty hose are twisted, and you don’t want to mess with it.
Canned Foods
I grew up on a farm and learned about food preservation early. We always canned enough to get us through for two years each season. That means that often, even when we rotated the foods out, we had foods that didn’t get eaten for several years because we may have overestimated.
Mom always said it was better to have too much put back than not enough. Of course, foods like apple pie filling didn’t usually last that long! We lived on a farm and we all hunted, which means that we had plenty of meat. We typically canned the majority of that. We’d make spaghetti sauce, canned meatballs, soups, and other meals in a jar, in addition to canning them separately.
Some we dehydrated into jerky, but that was usually just for fun – it never lasted more than a couple of days.
As far as home-canned foods are concerned, most “official” agencies will tell you that it’s good for anywhere from 5-10 years. Some even speculate that it’s good for up to 20. I loved the part in the movie “Holes” where the kid was trapped in the desert and lived off of 100-year-old canned spiced peaches that he dubbed “sploosh” because they were just mush.
I don’t know if I’d let my canned goods go quite that long, but I’d be comfortable eating them at 10 years, for sure. As a matter of fact, I have.
Dried Goods
Foods such as flour, salt, sugar, rice, and beans all have really long shelf lives. As a matter of fact, the only one in the bunch that really has an expiration date is the flour, and even it’s good for at least a year, though some say 6 months. As a baker, I can tell you that I’ve used flour that was a year old and it was fine.
That was all-purpose, though. When you get into the self-rising, it may go bad faster so do a test batch and add more salt and baking powder if you don’t get a good rise.
You can tell when flour goes bad because it gets a rancid smell to it and it may get oily or have a weird, sticky texture and off smell.
The most important step to take to getting the most mileage out of all of your dried goods is to store them properly: keep them in air-tight containers in cool, dark places.
Vacuum Sealing
I’ve taken to buying all of my cheese vacuum-sealed. The same thing goes for deli meat, if you can find it. Air is every food’s worst enemy because bacteria (except botulism) need air to grow. I even smash my packages of cheese, etc. flat and squeeze out as much air as possible, and it’s seriously increased my shelf time since doing that.
If you have a vacuum sealer at home, use it! Seriously, it can double or even triple the shelf life of food.
Dating
Sharpies are your friend. If you’re canning or preserving food at home, date everything that you make with the date that you made it. Then you know how long you’ve had it when you reach for it. For that matter, do the same thing with canned and shelf-stable foods that you buy at the store. Use either the date you bought it or the “best by” date. Then you don’t have to break out the magnifying glass to find the “best by” date.
FIFO
Organize your food so that the oldest food gets used first. This is easy to do by just putting the new food behind the older foods every time you bring in something new. Then you know for a fact that what’s in front is what you should use.
Finally, the shelf life of foods is most certainly affected by how you store it. Canned goods should always be stored in a cool, dark place. Milk, meat, and eggs should be refrigerated at about 35 degrees, and veggies should go in the crisper drawer because the temperature is different there, too.
Just as an aside, milk, butter, and other dairy products will freeze just fine, though they may separate a bit. The texture of your cheese may be a bit weird, too, but it should still taste fine. You can also home-can butter.
Knowing the shelf life of your foods is important, but what’s more important is knowing how to tell if they’re bad. If you even ask yourself, “Hmm. This looks/smells/feels weird. I wonder if it’s good?” then the answer is to toss it. Food poisoning is, at the very least, brutal until you get through it 5-8 hours later, and at its worst can be fatal.
Go forth and eat safely!
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If you can think of any tips or advice about food shelf life that I’ve missed here, please feel free to mention them in the comments section below!
This article has been written by Theresa Crouse for Survivopedia.
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Gluten-Free Strawberry Cupcakes
I'm running out of places to share my baked goods. My daughter is standing by her lie that she hates sweets, my dad only likes the basics, and my mom is minding her health. My coworkers are ever grateful, but it's just such a pain to bake for work. That leaves my choir... my choir with their gluten and chocolate allergies, vegan diets, and sugar strikes. Sigh...
I spent months building up the courage to cook gluten-free. I researched recipe after recipe for something that didn't have ingredients that I couldn't pronounce or sounded like they were made in a factory. I also didn't want to buy a bunch of stuff I was only going to use once. It's wasteful and my pantry is already overflowing as it is. Then I stumbled across this beauty!
The only ingredient that was foreign to me was the xanthan gum and apparently certain gluten-free flours already contain this. Additionally, the only "extra" ingredients I'd have to buy would be the gluten-free flour and gluten-free baking soda, two things that are very slow to expire and easy to use up. So it was on.
I found everything but the flour at my regular grocery store and that was only because it was out of stock. I feel the one roadblock in my gluten-free baking so far has been access to the ingredients and I didn't run into that problem with this recipe.
The recipe was very simple. I overestimated the number of strawberries I would need. Apparently, one container makes just about two cups when pureed and I bought three containers. Good thing we love strawberries! Otherwise, the recipe was very straightforward. I didn't use food coloring. The cupcake batter was pink enough for my taste. I also adjusted with the three extra tablespoons of flour for my altitude and I was glad to see it worked the same with the gluten-free flour.
After my success with the frosting on my cereal milk cupcakes, I was feeling pretty confident about my skills improving. I remembered that the cereal milk buttercream required additional mixing after all the ingredients were added and it became light and fluffy and pipable. I decided to add the additional mixing time to this buttercream. The problem was that is should have only been 3-5 minutes and I left it for 15. When I had last checked on it, the volume had doubled and it was beautiful and fluffy. When I came back, it was deflated and a smidge runny... I had better success with piping than in previous posts (those piping bags are a game changer), but it was nothing like the cereal milk buttercream.
Again, I didn't add the food coloring. I thought this gentle pink looked much more appetizing. While I was hoping for better, these were very pretty cupcakes.
The recipe made 24 cupcakes. I sampled one at home and, holy cupcakes were these delicious!! The strawberry puree made the cake so moist and tender! They weren't crumbly at all! And the sweetness of the buttercream nicely complemented the tartness of the strawberry. Nom!
I took 15 to choir and returned home with 4. Only three people didn't have one for various reasons and two people went back for seconds, including my gluten-intolerant friend.
I took the remaining 12 to work and they didn't even last an hour! Gobbled right up! This recipe is definitely a keeper. I'd like to try swapping the gluten-free ingredients with standard products and see what happens, but honestly, I couldn't tell the difference.
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Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
"Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
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I'm 18 and I am soon to be having a car, (hopefully) now everybody in the UK knows hows stupid car insurance is for new/young drivers. my dad says he will not put me on his insurance as IF i had a crash and needed to claim it would knock off his no claims, that is perfectly understanding but wile looking on Moneysupermarket i noticed the (protect no claims) if i was a named driver on my dads insurance would i get that cheaper, i know later in life i'm gonna have to start my own but thats for when im on more money at work etc, so what i am asking would this work out? and everybody becomes a winner? thank you for any help (im only looking for a Ford Fiesta mk2/3 1.0/1.1)""
Insurance companies will have 32 million new customers because of Obamacare. How is this socialism?
The Affordable Care Act was modeled after a Republican health care plan by the Heritage Foundation and was first implemented by a Republican governor. All this bill does is makes sure that insurance companies have 32 million new customers. I could understand if you called Single Payer socialism (which I highly support), but calling Obamacare socialist is pretty stupid.""
How much would insurance be for...?
A 2001 Audi TT, Turbo I think. It would be for a 16-17 year old. Kept in the drive way or a locked garage. I think the car itself is about $6,000 without tax. Dont tell me abunch of stuff like all these statistics and stuff like depending on .... I just want your personal opinoin/rough estimate how much it would be per year or month. I would probably be the occasional driver, and my dad would probably be the primary driver, even though Id drive it more often. Just give me a rough estimate in your opinoin.""
What is a reputable insurance company that offers liability insurance for DJs?
I am looking to get started into the mobile DJ business although am wanting to find out what insurance company is the best.
Information on car insurance coverage?
I was being driven over to a friends house to pick up some paper work, I do not have a driver liceance but my friend does, when another car passed us they came to far over and forced us in which resulted in us side swiping a parked car in the street, The car belongs to my fiance and myself, I'am on the insurance as iam in the process if obtaining a permitt, she drives the car very few times, only when I need to get somewhere and her son has her car, I filed the claim and when the claim adjustor got back to me she was saying our friend may have to run a claim through her insurance instead, we have full coverage collision and all, limited tort, in a no fault insurance state, PA, ive talked with many people and been told my insurance should cover it with no problem, she cannot claim this her son literally wrecked her car 2 months back, seeings how we are fully covered and she is a very occasional driver, I was told its the first thing they will try naturally as an insurance company is try to have everyone else foot the bill first, I'am curious as I'am certain we should be able to cover it, even though she was driving it was me on the passenger side who had said she should be able to move over as I was certain there was clearance which guess not as we were pretty certain the other driver would have hit us, will a full coverage policy cover this if the car in question has the policy on it and one of the insured on the policy was in the car at the time as well? we have Infinity auto insurance, thanks!""
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
Does driving a corvette raise your car insurance?
Does driving a corvette raise your car insurance?
""I pay more than $10,000 per year for Health Insurance, does that sound reasonable?""
I'm self employed and gross about $105,000 / year. Have wife and 3 small children. (wife stays home) Premium for family is $857.41 / month and increases about 11% per year. M.D. visits have $20 co-pay. Policy through Excellus BC/BS. We live upstate New York and have no health problems.""
Any one know anything about the new medical insurances?
Please tell me that my co-payments will be less! I pay $15 for my primary care physician, $25 to see a specialist, that my primary care physician sends me to, from time to time, and $25 for lab blood tests. Most of my medicine co-payments are reasonable. Except two: $60 each every 30 days. Ouch. I am 60 and working full-time.""
How much will my monthly payment and insurance be for a sports car?
im trying to figure out how much my car insurance will be. im 17, ive never owned a car, have no credit history and i want to buy a 1990 toyota supra which is a sports car. the car will probably cost $5000. i just really need to know how much i can expect to be paying a month with insurance and monthly payments""
How much is car insurance for a 16 year old driver?
I am about to turn 16 in August. And I'm wondering if you can tell me a estimated guess on how much car insurance will be. My family is insured with State Farm. If there is another company that may be cheaper please tell me. My family has several cars under Sate Farm if that makes a difference. I will be driving a 2007-8 Ford F-150 Lariat 2 wheel drive. I have all A's and have over 60 community service hours. If any of this makes a difference. How much will I start off spending and how fast does it get lowered and what will it get lowered to about?
Do I need my car to put insurance on it?
My car got impounded last night and I need to register the car in my name in order to put insurance on it, Im going to the DMV Monday morning to register it then head over to put insurance on it but need help on knowing whether I do need my car with me. Do i need My Car to register it and put basic cheap insurance on it too? Please let me know. My state is California. & i do have a valid driver license too. Thank you :)""
How much is it for a girls car insurance?
I'm in grade eight and we have to do this project and for one of the questions I need to know how much my car insurance would be, I'm a girl as I said and I live in Ontario, Canada. Anyone know?""
Will a stolen recovered car affect the insurance and vehicle value?
I'm looking to purchase a car that is stated stolen/recovered NOT cat C or cat D What does this mean? Will it affect the insurance price? Can I get insurance if I'm 17?
Affordable Health Insurance for Student in MA?
Hi, if you go to school in MA, you would know that the insurance company offered by school are overpriced. I'm looking for affordable, low-cost, health insurance for college student in Massachusetts. Thank you.""
Is the jeep wrangler cheap for insurance?
Is the jeep wrangler cheap for insurance?
Do auto insurance companies actually confirm the info you provide for the quote?
After requesting a quote online, you anto insurance companies actually confirm that all the info u gave are true? For example; moving violations, actual address? Does the DMV verify this info?""
How can I tell if my chiropractor is under my insurance?
How can I tell if the chiropractor I have been going to accepts my insurance. I'm switching insurances on November 1st, so I need to know if they accept my new insurance. If they don't, I want to see what my other options are.""
What's the cheapest and best company for car insurance/home insurance/life?
We are moving out of our current state and need to switch companies. I was just wondering what the cheapest company (also with good service) for all types of insurance would be. Thanks!
Including Teen on Auto Insurance?
Is it okay for a parent to get it insured under their name, and not include the child's name so the cost is lower?""
NC Divers License and insurance?
My boyfriend is looking to get his license for the first time and we have a question about insurance. As far as I know, in the state of NC you cannot get your license w/o having car insurance. How can you get your license w/o having a car to issue insurance on? In other words, if he doesn't have a vehicle, why do they require you to have insurance before obtaining your license?""
""If someone is driving your car and they get a ticket, does it affect your insurance rates?
Will it make your insurance higher?
How much is insurance for teens?
Im almost 16 and im wondering cause my parents dont want to pay 300-400 a month. And i do good in school if that cuts costs down.
Where can you find some cheap auto insurance quotes ..online?
Where can you find some cheap auto insurance quotes online?
""Car insurance, when does it drop?""
Im 19 years old, and payed $155 a month for my car insurance, a year later, no accidents tickets or anything and its $106. Definately not complaining, but i was just wondering if theres some sort of formula insurance companies use.. because i always thought when you turn 25 it goes down dramatically, but this for me is pretty dramatic. And also one year from now can i expect it to go down 50 more dollars?? thanks in advance""
What is the cheapest auto insurance?
What is the cheapest auto insurance?
Advice for health insurance please? (community college student with low-paying part-time job)?
I haven't had health insurance since I turned 18 and no longer qualified for my family's health insurance plan. I wasn't really concerned at the time, but now that its been a few years (I am almost 21 now), I am in need of dental care. My problem is that I don't know what my health insurance options currently are. I am a college student, although my community college does not offer any health plans for students. I do have a part time job at a daycare that offers health insurance, however its price is far too high for my income. The insurance company is Aetna, and would cost me $16.92 for the lowest medical option, plus $4.61 for dental. So that would cost me $21.53 weekly, which doesn't sound too bad, except I only earn about $120 every two weeks....reducing my paychecks to about only $76 every two weeks....which just isn't enough for me to live on considering that I pay for my own food and everything else needed. So.... does anyone know of health insurance companies that have options for community college students like me? I know state insurance may be an option, but I have a feeling I don't qualify for that since I'm not legally an independent, yet I can't afford to move out and become independent. See the nasty cycle now? lol. And no, earning more money and finding a better paying job is not an option for me at this time. I can't transfer to a college that does offer health insurance for another two years either.. If anyone can give me advice, I'd be very grateful. Thank you in advance =)""
How can u break a medical insurance policy to get your own insurance?
my girlfriends mom wont give her the copy of medical card and wants to get her own policy
Will obstruction of plate show up on car insurance?
I got a ticket for obstruction of plate this morning and I was wondering whether this will show up as a record on the insurance. I would rather pay it off myself because I don't want my parents to find out. Also, will it increase the rates? I read somewhere that no proof of insurance can increase rates, but I got a ticket for that awhile ago, it didn't affect anything.""
Insurance for my car stuck in the middle of an accident?
Driving in the UK today, my car was hit by a car from behind. becuase of that , my car lurched forwards and crashed into a car in front. The car in front did not suffer much damage. I have third party insurance. Who pays who ? Should i settle with the guy in front to protect my no claims bonus ?""
""I bought my first car and need to get insurance on it, do I have to put my parents on my policy?""
I've talked to a few different insurance companies and half of them insist I need to put my parents on my policy since they're family and I live with them. The other half of the companies don't even ask. If I add my parents to my policy it makes the price per month go up a ton, and know one that I've asked has been able to tell me if I should have to add them or not, I'd rather not add them, since they don't drive my car anyways, we all have our own cars to drive.""
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
Is the amount you paid for your car covered by full insurance if an uninsured motorist hits you?
A friend was stopped at a light when some idiot hit her car and totalled it! Although, she has full coverage on the car(she just recently finished paying off), the idiot who hit her did not have any insurance! The total she paid on her car was $13K. The insurance company only wants to give her the blue book value of $3000! The situation is even worse because the offending party have no insurance! Is the insurance company trying to rip her off?! What should she do to get back at least close to the total amount she paid for her car?""
17 year old getting insurance in NY?
I am planning to buy a car in a couple of months. Probably a Honda Civic/Accord from 1994 and up. I dont have more than 3500. How much will insurance cost to pay by myself? Added on my parents?They currently pay 130 a month. I have 90 average in school and a 10% discount fot compleating a drivers ed program.
Will police know if your car insurance policy has been cancelled?
Paying my car insurance is my number one priority but after being unemployed for 2 months and finally starting a job, I can't pay my next bill. I called my insurance company and got a 15 day extension but I start my new job on Monday so I might not be able to pay the bill. If my proof of Insurance says it ends in August and I missed July's payment and the insurance is cancelled, can a police officer find out? Again, I am not asking because I want to skip out on my insurance. I have run out of funds and I am starting a new job on Monday. Also, if it matters, I live in Michigan.""
I am 18 years old and going to lose my insurance NH?
My father lives in California and I was under his insurance until he got laid off, now I have about a month to get insurance and I am kinda screwed. I have to have allergy shots every three weeks and I am on a plan to control my allergies and asthma so having no insurance is not an option. My grandparents did have guardianship of me but since I am 18 I no longer qualify for their insurance.What do I qualify for and how do I apply?""
I was rear ended a few months back and had no insurance?
Me and my wife and a friend were driving in california and we were rear ended we pulled over and so did the other people. I looked at our car and there was no visible damage. i took pictures to show. and the guy who hit us had major front end damage he just wanted to drive away and get no information but we took his info so he asked for ours. four months later i get a letter from the dmv saying he is coming after me for insurance to pay him for the damages . i am assuming he is lying and said i hit him or something but i have two witnesses who saw everything my wife even had a ****** up neck problem for a while and still does but we didnt want to go to the hospital because of the no insurance thing. i was hired for a job at a dealership but cant get my salesperson license because of this and my license will be suspended next month what do i do to fix this whole mess. and if i can be lucky come out of this with some money because he is lying through his neck to attack me. I had a perfect driving record as well.
Why would my car insurance go up?
Why would my car insurance go up? I pay my car insurance in full every 6 months and my car insurance is going up $150. I haven't gotten any tickets or in any accidents. I haven't had to pay this much since I was 19.
Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do?
Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do? Shes about a month along, andwe donthave insurance tohelp us have it.. what can i do? Can i still get it or do they see that as priorissue andsayno.. We need help bringing it intobthe world..butwere lostat the moment.""
Heath insurance?
the comapny i work for is taking insurance premium out but the insurance premium is not being paid.......what can we do as employees?
If im a named driver on a car what isnt mine do i need my own insurance or can i drive it along as im named?
if im a named driver on a car what isnt mine do i need my own insurance to drive it or can i drive it along as im named on the policy??
Looking for health insurance for our kids???
We just moved to oklahoma and we make to much for medicaid but not enough to pay $500 a month in insurance plus have a $1100 deductible per person then a 80-20 split after the deductible. We can afford to pay our own Doctor bills but if we had a serious problem (tonsils, appendicitis,surgery) we wouldn't be able to afford that so does anyone know of any health insurance we could get??? How does a HSA plan work??? Can you get one without it being sponsored by your employer???""
What vehicle has the CHEAPEST insurance?
I'm trying to save some money, and want to know what vehicle is the CHEAPEST to insure(no smart-*** answers)""
Does she have to pay the no insurance ticket?
My daughter just completed her drivers ed class so I let her drive to school. she was stopped and ticketed for no license and no insurance my car is covered and current. Q does she have to pay the no insurance ticket
Car insurance for a 19 year old female?
I am a 17 year old female and I am hoping to pass my test this year,my plan is to pass my test and save a little more for my car and car insurance etc... I have my eye on small cars ...show more""
What kind of life insurance do I need for my mom?
My mom is already in life insurance but I want to know what kind of life insurance that is affordable to pay for by the month. We are not expecting her to die anytime soon but we want to be prepared?
I'm 17yo Male and need cheap car insurance!!!!?
Well im 17 soon and want to get are car so i can work more. i have been looking at some very cheap cars that i would think are cheap to insure but are not- Fiat Punto (more than 10 years old) worth 400; 6000 to insure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! same with Peugeot 106- around the same price to insure. What other cars would you recommend that are cheap to insure???
Need help getting affordable auto Insurance?
I'm 20 years old in Brooklyn NY I am a college student I live alone I don't speak to my father and my Mother is not here, I really need a car for work (i started my own business) and for my life in general The cheapest insurance quote I received was for $10350 a year, for the state minimal coverage I am looking something in the range of what normal people pay 1k-3k at best Please if anyone knows any schemes, tricks, deals, anything let me know And please non of thatpublic transit or that you shouldn't try to trick the system non of that.""
I'm trying to get life insurance for myself and my son. what company offer best benefit?
where from los angeles, ca. i never smoke...don't drink alcohol.. and what things that i should know for getting life insurance? and what is the best coverage? advice pls?""
How much will getting a motorcycle increase my insurance?
I am 21 the only ticket I have on me was back in dec 08 for going 86 in a 70 (was on a permit) and paid it in march because of a mixup, but I pay 333 or 366 every 6 months on no fault for a 91 4runner, if I was to get a 08-12 harley davidson (cost around 10,000-16,000) and then get a truck for the winter/times it rains, because the 91 4runner is going soon, how much would you estimate I would pay every 6 months?""
Should I sue my parents...?
When I was 4 years old I was in a car accident and my parents had a settlement with the drunk drivers insurance and recieved 100,000 dollars for me. At such a young age I didnt really know what was going on and they told me that it had to be put up till I was 18 and I couldnt have it. Well that money is no longer there and I am now 20. As I grew up they told me that it all just went to lawyer fees but obviously I am old enough now to know better. I found out from other family members that they just blew it. I am now married and have three month old baby and I could have used that money to help get a house for us or help with the financial problems that come with being a new parent or newlywed. Should I sue them to get what was mine to begin with and if so how do I go about it and what are the chances that I will win?""
How much has disability insurance rates increased in the last 5 years? 10 years?
I am 30 years old female trying to decide whether I can afford disability insurance with the noncancelable.
Where do insurance companies get all the money?
How does an insurance company afford to pay out all that money on insurance claims?
Temporary car insurance problem...Help!?
My car has to go away for repair and I don;t know how long its going to take, so I want to get insured on my parents car. Because I am still 20, I cant get temporary car insurance and the insurance policy on my parents car won't insure me as an additional driver because of my age and because the car is fairly new. Any ideas on how I can be insured on this car would be welcome, as I still need to get to and from work! Thanks.""
How do unemployed get medical insurance?
March 31st is the last day for 'everyone' to sign up for medical insurance. How would it work in my situation? My fianc and I are now both unemployed, we have been searching for jobs high and low. Sad to say only 40% of 2 million jobless people will find jobs. Our uneployment ran out and have spent all our tax money on bills and rent. We are now on the verge of losing everything by next month. We have no income so how are we going to sign up and pay for insurance. Even $5 a month for each of us is a lot in our circumstance.""
Would having 2 cars be the same insurance as 1 car?
I have a 09 dodge charger, which you will probably figure the insurance is higher than average. So I was thinking, If I buy another lower level car, for example, a dodge neon. keep in mind that I am the owner of both cars, and only I will be driving the cars. would the insurance be the same or even lower?""
How are young drivers expected to build up 'no claims' or experience when insurance prices are so expensive?
How are young drivers expected to build up 'no claims' or experience when insurance prices are so expensive?
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
Where can i get visitor health insurance at affordable rate?
is there any good co where i can get affordable visitor health insurance thanx for suggestions
How much would my insurance be if...?
I am a 20 year old female and I've been having car troubles with my 2010 Toyota Corolla. The cost of repairs is becoming more and more expensive even though I take very very good care of my vehicle. So therefore, I am purchasing either a new 2013 Chevy Camaro or a used 2014 Ford Mustang with 4000 miles for a steal of a price. Right timing I guess. Anyway I am looking for full coverage less than $300. I know that these cars are not considered sports cars in the insurance world I was told many times because they both posses V6 engines. If anyone has insurance or knowledge about the criteria I have provided please inform me of the best/cheapest insurance I can get. No mommy or daddy jokes, because i am paying for my vehicle and insurance, thank you very much! Please be respectful!""
Car audio mod......insurance company?
i recntly bought a subwoofer and amp for my car do i need to let the insurance company know its worth around 60
How much does it cost to cancel motorbike insurance in the UK?
If you've been with them say 2-4 months. Also does it make a difference if its Third Party, Third Party Fire and Theft or Fully Comp? Its on a 125cc and the insurance is going to cost approx 300. Thanks""
What is the difference between insurance and banassurance?
Ex. Insurance deals by LIC, GIC Banassurance deals by banks""
Jeep Wrangler Sahara insurance?
I am a 16 year old female... I want a 2004 Jeep Wrangler 4x4 Sahara as my first car. My mom seems to think the insurance is too high. Can anyone tell me whether the insurance on it would be super high or give me an average number for insurance? Would it be cheaper on a smaller car? thanks .xx
Car insurance Policys?
Hi there people i need help with this badly i had car insurance on my car for the last 6 months but sadly i had a crash in my car and is no longer drivable, i rang up my insurance company 2 change the policy and there tellin me that if i want 2 insure with them i need 2 get my self a 4 grand car does that seem right??""
Florida - Car Insurance Question?
A friend of mine who lives in Florida said that he has to pay for car insurance even though he doesn't own a car and doesn't drive his parent's car. Is it true that by ...show more
How much will my car insurance cost?
So I'm 16 now, and I'm looking at cars I could get. I can afford a used, BMW 3 series saloon. I'm a male, and live in Surrey. (obviously I'd be 17). How much do you think my car insurance would cost, because it is in insurance group 20. (which may or may not be too much). Thanks""
Car Insurance for a 16 year old?
I will be driving a 1982 Dodge Ram in the next few months. I will be dropping a V8 440 into the truck. The truck will be painted black. So what will the average monthly insurance bill be on it?
Auto Insurance Questions?
In the household there are 3 cars, but 18 driver is only listed under 1 car,(mom) If the other 2 cars are on the same house (but different names auto insurance) he can drive those car with no insurance coverage problem right?""
Will my car insurance represent me in getting claim from other person's car insurance company?
Wife got in accident with teenage girls that was at fault. Other driver had insurance, and I'm dealing with them, but because they say my car is totalled as its older and not worth a lot, they offered me some money, but when I go to buy a similar car online, I see I'm short a few thousand. They are being a bit difficult and have my car at a lot ( I know mistake but they said they only were going to look at it, now its gone). I don't have a lot of pull but will complain as much as I possibly can - was on phone for nearly hour today. Question: Do you think that my insurance company will help me get money from the other insurance company of the at-fault party? I have not contacted them yet.""
I need help finding a good cheap sporty used car with low insurance rates.?
Well I turn 16 in december, I've had my permit for about two months and my family is at total loss of cars. My sister and her car are going to College, and my mom is using the Sienna. So my dads been riding his motorcycle to work. However, he wont be able to do so because he has a 30 mile commute to work. So he needs a car before the rain rolls in, so when he gets a car it'll be his, until I get my license, then it becomes ours. However, all my ideas are getting shot down, but as we get closer to needing one, slowly he's getting more okay with my ideas, but I need your help. I want an Rx8, I've wanted one since I was in 4th grade. I know I know. What the hell, why? A rotary engine with not even 2 litres. barely any horsepower and only gets 16/26 mpg. Well I've driven an Rx8 and I think they're amazing. HOWEVER, my dad doesnt want one for one reason, and one reason only. High insurance. So I was wondering if you can help me find a sporty used car, that I could find pretty cheap. For some Ideas I like, Bmw 330ci's, 328i's, rx8's, G37 coupes. OH YEAH, that reminds me, I'd like a coupe, but a 4 door would work well too if it still maintains a sleek style. like a lexus IS250s. Manual transmission or automatic is fine. decent mileage. you know the drill, OH and it must be atleast 4 seater. Thank you, its greatly appreciated.""
I need cheap insurance?
I have a vauxhall corsa 1.2 SXi and I am 18. The cheapest is 1300 but I know people have got theres for 900
""Cons, what is a better health plan than the President's plan?""
Do you or your candidates have a viable plan for Americans? Many people are without insurance because it is not affordable or it they have pre-existing conditions, or their employer does not offer it. Many Americans have lost jobs and health insurance is out of the question for them. Any ideas?""
Does it matter if you tell the insurance company?
that you are keeping your vehicle at 'X' address instead of your real address which is 'Y' address. Reason being that X is a way cheaper premuim than my Y premium. And its only for TPO insurance. Thanks
Car insurance for young drivers ?
Hi there, ive completed multiple quotes for car insurance and the figure are coming out extremley high, as in 5000 a year on a 1.1 litre 2000 peugeot 206 LX 3dr, and i am a 17 year old male. i would like the policy to be in my name for my NCB but i have also added my mum and dad as named drivers as ive heard that decreases price, does naybody know any cheap car insurance places which icould go to for a cheaper quote. 5000 for a 1.1 litre peugoet is ridiculous !! Thanks""
""Can you suggest a good,affordable health insurance plan?""
I am an adjunct instructor at two colleges in Michigan. Neither institution offers health insurance for adjunct instructors. For the last three years I have been getting health Insurance through a postdoctoral fellowship. Now this fellowship has come to an end, and I am in desperate straits. I have heart problems and I need specials medicationss for depression and attention deficit disorder.What do I do?""
Can you have insurance in two state?
I am a resident of California but moved to Washington for school. I need a car to get around and being the typical college, I'm trying to cut down on expenses. I was wondering if I got a car here in WA could I just add the car into my mom's car insurance policy in CA or would I have to pay for my own car insurance here in WA? Also would it be cheaper and better if I bought a car in CA then just have it shipped to WA? That way it'll have a CA license plate. Please help and let me know. Thank you.""
I just moved out of my parents house. i need car insurance?
i need a good company to get car insurance from. Any Suggestions??
""My truck got totaled, now the insurance wants to give me crap for payout. Can I negotiate?""
I had a 2000 Sierra that was probably the nicest truck in town. I have pictures of how it looked, videos of how it ran, and plenty of people to testify it was a nice ride. The insurance wants to give us crap for payout saying that the truck was average to poor condition. Even after stripping off most of my aftermarket stuff, I still have a few thousand $$ still on the truck. I know they don't cover aftermarket stuff, but if I can't take it off, I should be compensated for it. Can I negotiate with them or do I have to take what they offer me? I've already told them that I don't like what they offered me since my truck wasn't the junk car they are paying me for. Can they turn around and just tell me they won't pay anything since I didn't take the first offer?""
Car insurance stuff i don't understand.?
Hello everyone, I am an international student who's been in the USA (Buffalo, NY) for the past 2 years working hard on my masters (i'm 25 now). I bought a POS Saturn last year for 2000 dollars and, well, for that i needed to get car insurance since it's mandatory in this country. Since i was from abroad and i had a learner's permit at the time, i had to get insurance with my international license. Progressive was my only choice so i paid around 700$ for 6 months. That's the rate I've been paying for the last year. Unfortunately, i just don't have the money anymore to pay 700 more dollars for the next 6 months. I tried different insurance companies but they are all around the same range. Apparently, i was stupid enough to not get a credit card as soon as i landed in this country. I was raised with the if you don't have money, don't spend it philosophy so i just used my debit card. This is the only reason that i can see for these absurd rates. Every single one of my friends ( all international students ) pay around 200-250/six months dollars for their pieces of crap cars. I just feel like i'm not being given a fair deal. Not having any credit might put a penalty on me, i understand somewhat how a capitalist mind works... let's say about 100-150 more dollars for 6 months, but a whopping 500 $ ? Don't you think it's kind of messed up that first of all it's mandatory, and then there's no baseline to at least make sure that noone gets ripped off. Is there any way that a person can inquire why he is being charged so much(instead of the bs the agents tell you i.e your area is bad etc.)? Or are you at the mercy of these people?""
Where can I find cheap car insurance in Philadelphia?
I know the auto insurance rates in Philly are expensive. Why is this and where do I go to find the best price?
Does anyone use or heard of Response.com for auto insurance?
Response.com seems to have the least expensive insurance rates at plans that are what I currently have. Going with them would save a lot of money but I've never heard of them personally.
How much should I expect my car insurance to increase?
I got a 34 in a 25 in Virginia. I'm 19, and this was my first offense. Currently, I'm on as an occasional driver because I'm usually at college. Thanks.""
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
Ogden Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 71853
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/raleigh-north-carolina-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-robert-watkins/"
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59 Things Parents Wish They Were Told Before They Had Kids
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59 Things Parents Wish They Were Told Before They Had Kids
Find out now so you’re not caught off guard.
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
We recently asked members of BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they wish they’d been told before they had kids. Their responses amounted to a master class in parenting, so it’s only fair that we share their tips.
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
1. “I would’ve liked someone to tell me to be really strict with my diet and exercise routine. Once you get on the gaining weight ladder it’s hard to get off again.”
– Submitted by Michelle Gazzardi (Facebook)
2. “For the rest of your life you’ll have a 50/50 chance of peeing your pants every time you sneeze. And yes, I do my Kegels.”
– Submitted by Colleen Mary Snodgrass (Facebook)
3. “For the first month after you have a baby you will basically have your period. Buy overnight pads and granny panties to keep comfortable. Also, take as many pads from the hospital as you can!”
– Submitted by jennac48dde8730
4. “Take a picture of your boobs now. They will never look this perky again. Honestly, just take a bunch of naked pictures before you get pregnant because nothing’s going to be the same after.”
– Submitted by kristens484c2baee
5.
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
– Submitted by Sara Murray (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
6. “Enjoy sleep now. Even once your baby sleeps through the night in their own room you will fight the urge to check on them a million times in the night. You will wake up in a panic for reasons you can’t really explain and just want to see them.”
– Submitted by sarahs4672c807e
7. “Take turns sleeping in on the weekends, so you and your partner each get one morning a week to sleep as late as you want.”
– Submitted by Randi Weathers (Facebook)
8. “You won’t sleep much at first. The old ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ is really, really true.”
– Submitted by Marie Rhodes (Facebook)
9. “Make sure the baby is used to noise — the vacuum, TV, you talking, etc. Otherwise they’ll be light sleepers and you’ll never get anything done.”
– Submitted by nicholet4134614cc
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
10. “I wish someone told me how emotional you will be after childbirth. God, I was a wreck!”
– Submitted by Natasha Tanji (Facebook)
11. “There are moments when you feel like the most loving parent, and then in an instant you feel like your head is spinning in circles because you’re so upset over something so minor. Ahhh hormones.”
– Submitted by Lori Sherman Montoro (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
12. “If it happens to you, THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY. If you don’t feel overwhelming love for your baby, if you cry all the time, if you can’t bring yourself to get out of bed, if you feel hopeless…IT’S OKAY. You are sick, not bad or wrong. Call your OB.”
– Submitted by Jennifer Nelson (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
13. “Just like the warnings on airplanes: Put the oxygen mask on yourself before your child. If you’re not healthy you can’t take care of your child, so take care of yourself first.”
– Submitted by jillylane
14. “A doctor once told me that ‘no baby has ever cried himself to death.’ Obviously, you shouldn’t let a baby scream for prolonged periods, but if you are frazzled and totally burned out, take a break!”
– Submitted by Tracy Adams Messenger (Facebook)
15. “I wish I would’ve known that I still need ‘me time,’ without the kids and sometimes without my husband. And to not feel guilty about needing and taking that time.”
– Submitted by dannicarter08
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
16. “It’s okay and normal to not immediately fall in love with your baby. Not only are your hormones going crazy and you’re full of anxiety over what to do now, but you and your baby are strangers who are still getting use to each other.”
– Submitted by Rachel Gesell (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
17. “Don’t even try to be perfect in all things. A bottle never killed anyone, swaddling in non-organic clothing doesn’t lower IQ points, a $400 stroller won’t guarantee preschool admission, and preschool admission won’t guarantee an Ivy League education.”
– Submitted by Marie Rhodes (Facebook)
18. “You cannot control your kids as much as you think you’ll be able to. They will throw a fit when you’re leaving the park, screaming ‘Help!’ and making it look like a kidnapping!”
– Submitted by jannallie
19.
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
– Submitted by Aldana Torres (Facebook)
20. “There will be moments when you feel like you have let yourself or your children down. Nobody is the perfect parent, nobody gets it right 100% of the time.”
– Submitted by Nellie Gillis (Facebook)
21. “Don’t sweat the small stuff! As long as everyone is alive and relatively happy, you’re doing a great job!”
– Submitted by Sarah Zehnder (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
22. “Just because something got 5 stars doesn’t mean your baby will like it.”
– Submitted by Randi Weathers (Facebook)
23. “Don’t buy stuff new. First, you probably don’t need it. Second, it’s available used.”
– Submitted by Katy Pearce (Facebook)
24. “The one thing you should buy new is a carseat. “They have expiration dates, and you never know if a used carseat was in a crash or not.”
– Submitted by Leigh Reinhart (Facebook)
25. “People always talk about how expensive diapers are, but no one ever mentions how expensive wipes are. They add up!”
– Submitted by parisqueen
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
26. “If your kid gets really attached to one particular stuffed animal, buy a double ASAP and start rotating them. I did this way too late and my kid hates the new one. I fear what will happen if his current sheep dies permanently or is lost.”
– Submitted by pattys20
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
27. “I wish someone would’ve told me that I’d have to sacrifice every piece of food I want to eat for myself for the next few years.”
– Submitted by marisola4eaf5a3bd
28. “If you are mom you will never eat a warm/hot meal EVER again!”
– Submitted by nati1981
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
29. “No matter what you said before kids, when you leave them with a babysitter or relative you will have to fight the urge to call or text a million times. The first time is the worst, but the urge never really goes away.”
– Submitted by Candice Deming Cain (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
30. “Add at least an extra 30+ minutes when preparing to go out anywhere. I’ve given up on my obsessive need to be punctual now.”
– Submitted by David Sunshine (Facebook)
31. “Pack extra clothes for the kid… and yourselves. Kids are sticky for no good reason at the most inopportune times.”
– Submitted by Lynn Coultrup (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
32. “I wish someone told me that the baby’s head would grow faster than the rest of its body. It’s okay, they will soon grow into their heads, but until then you’d better stretch out the neck holes on the onesies before putting it over that melon!”
– Submitted by Candice Alvarez Scheets (Facebook)
33.
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
– Submitted by Luna AstroCritic (Facebook)
34. “Never say ‘My child always….’ or ‘My child never….’ because as soon as you say it, the reverse will happen.”
– Submitted by candices483475d1b
35. “There’s very little you can actively teach a child for the first two years. Getting upset or trying to discipline a child under two is pretty pointless. Just try to do what you can by setting a good example.”
– Submitted by ExileOnDaytonStreet
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
36. “Store brands are usually just as good as name brands in everything except diapers.”
– Submitted by Squibbles
37. “Unless you’re trekking for more than a few hours, you really don’t need a fully stocked diaper bag. Just toss a pack of travel wipes in your purse with a spare diaper or two.”
– Submitted by erinn449936421
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
38. “Babies spit up through their nose. No, you did not give birth to Linda Blair.”
– Submitted by darcykrontz
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
39. “Cutting a baby’s fingernails is incredibly difficult, and no matter how good of a job you think you did, they will still most likely end up leaving scratches all over their adorable little face.”
– Submitted by squibbles
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
40. “Breastfeeding isn’t always this easy natural thing that just happens. It’s frustrating, painful, physically draining, and the whole world makes a new mom feel like a failure if she doesn’t.”
– Submitted by Aja Dumas (Facebook)
41. I knew that it might not be easy, but no one prepared for me a baby who refused to latch on.”
– Submitted by Elizabeth Shephard (Facebook)
42. “If you don’t like nursing, then don’t do it. Your baby will benefit more from a mentally healthy and happy Mom than a miserable, yet nursing Mom.”
– Submitted by Sarah Zehnder (Facebook)
43. “Breastfeeding does not magically melt the weight off. Biggest load of crap I’ve ever been told.”
– Submitted by Brittany McDaniel (Facebook)
44.
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
– Submitted by pinkdeedle
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
45. “Parent shaming is awful and will only make you feel awful. Do not join any “mommy groups” on Facebook or sites likes Baby Center, some of those ladies can just ruin your day.”
– Submitted by Breaunna DeMastes (Facebook)
46. “Resist judgmental new mommies. They are NO better at this than you; they just talk better smack.”
– Submitted by Marie Rhodes (Facebook)
47. “You are the right parent for your kids, whoever you naturally are, and they are the right kids for you. If someone constantly needs to compete, it says more about them than it does about you.”
– Submitted by Laura Sanford (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
48. “Avoid purchasing complicated clothing. Think of your extremely sleep-deprived future self having to navigate an endless series of snaps, buttons, and zippers in order to reach your child’s diaper.”
– Submitted by nataliel20
49. “I received so many gifts and bought so many things, and I bet I didn’t use half of it. Some of it wasn’t needed, or he outgrew the clothes before I could take the tags off.”
– Submitted by caseyw
50. “Always buy/ask for the next size (or two) up. They grow out of those little clothes faster than you think.”
– Submitted by Kerry Arquijo (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
51. “Don’t be so caught up in taking photos of your kids that you miss participating in whatever event you’re trying to document. Take a handful of photos of the big moments, then put the device down and enjoy the experience.”
– Submitted by angels4d4906ef4
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
52. “Make and stick to a date night. Your relationship will thank you for it!”
– Submitted Tracey Rentner (Facebook)
53. “If you are still with the spouse/partner, don’t forget each other! And if you can’t deal with it, wait it out a year. It will get better, I promise. Check your ego at the hospital door.”
-Submitted by Dvd Bghm (Facebook)
54. “I wish someone had told me how much having a baby changes your relationship with your spouse.”
– Submitted by Laura Kerin (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
55. “The first two months are TERRIBLE, but it gets soooo much better!”
– Submitted by Sara Stevens Burnett (Facebook)
56.
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
– Submitted by Bryce Jensen (Facebook)
57. “People will tell you it’s hard, but you will have no concept of how hard it really is.”
– Submitted by Courtney HillVial (Facebook)
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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
58. “If someone offers to help, take it.”
– Submitted by Angela Marie Williamson (Facebook)
59. “Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, you’re not alone.”
– Submitted by Jenn Theriault (Facebook)
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How Do I Pick My Meals?
I am a person who loves to cook and is absolutely crazy for food. There are lots of people in this world who hate cooking, and there are also people in this world who only eat for sustenance; food just isn’t their jam (pun 10000% intended). That’s a perfectly fine experience, it just happens not to be mine. I am constantly thinking about my next meal with great anticipation. For me, this is all part of the fun and enjoyment, which is why the system works for me. Your mileage will vary! No judgement!
My own personal guidance system, listed in no particular order...
What part of the production process is this?
I read an article in the New York Times Health section a couple of years ago about the effect that eating within a 12-hour window has on the metabolism, and after some obviously-not-very-scientific experimentation, discovered that it really works for me when it comes to maintaining or losing weight, and inversely, can really directly contribute to my own weight gain. As with everything, this may not be true for you. Don’t @me with your well-actuallys... do what feels right for you.
When I’m in rehearsal mode, I am up at 6:45am, out the door at 8:15am, at the rehearsal studio by 9am, breaking for lunch at ~2pm, leaving the studio by 7pm, and home by 8pm. If I eat breakfast at 7:30am, that means a couple of things... I will have to go probably 6½ hours between full meals, and I will automatically be breaking my own 12-hour window rule by eating dinner after I get home. This means that I’m going to plan for a protein-heavy breakfast, a substantial morning snack, a delicious lunch that will be the heaviest meal I’ll eat all day, a quality afternoon snack, and a very, very, very light dinner; I can’t go to bed with an empty stomach, so I’ll prepare something with high-impact flavor and texture but a low calorie/sugar count.
When I’m in 10-out-of-12 mode, I am usually up before dawn, home after midnight, and on my feet for most of the day, so all caloric and 12-hour window bets are off, but I try to focus on big flavors, filling food with a high protein content. I do also try to stop eating by 9pm because otherwise sleep can be elusive, no matter how tired I may be. I’ll be eating breakfast at home, but snacks, lunch, and dinner are all at the theater.
When I’m in show mode, I can sleep 'til 9:30am on a matinee or rehearsal day, and not set an alarm on a one evening show day! I’m out the door at 11 or 11:30am depending on my call time for the former, and sometime between 4-5:30pm depending on my call time for the latter. So it’s sometimes lunch and dinner at the theater, sometimes just lunch, and sometimes just dinner. No matter what, I'm able to cook a fresh hot breakfast once I’m in show mode, and I may not need to pre-prepare any snacks. I try to make a dinner that can be eaten early-ish and sustain me late so that I can avoid snacking when I get home sometime between 11:30pm and midnight. (But, in all honesty, I usually snack when I get home.)
I’m lactose intolerant!
Fun fact: lactose-intolerance can look like many things. To get graphic for a minute: it gives me the most painful diarrhea imaginable (I say this having had salmonella). But it could be worse, because I’m also the kind of lactose intolerant person that has a decent-ish lactose limit, so I can handle hard cheeses, certain processed ricottas, certain yogurts, commercially-produced ice cream, and so on. I cook with Lactaid products, but I don't depend on the pills because it feels too risky. I know what brand and style of sour cream works with my tummy chemistry. I eat soft cheeses in the comfort and privacy of my own home. Etc. The last thing I need is a digestive emergency at work; believe me... it has happened, it was mortifying, and it still haunts me.
Vitamins, minerals, and protein!
Am I eating enough fruits and vegetables? Am I getting enough calcium? (My mom has osteoarthritis, plus I have a pin in my heel holding a fracture together, so this is a real thing I think about constantly.) Am I close to my period, so does my body want extra iron? My brain seems to work faster when I'm eating a lot of protein... am I getting enough of that?
Do I love this food?
I love most food, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE soup, vinegar, hot sauce, cheese (I KNOW!), fennel, dark chocolate, citrus, basil, brussels sprouts, and mushrooms, to name of few of my favorite things. Obviously, a recipe that includes any or ideally several of any of these favorite things is going to be of very high value for me.
Calorie content!
I have a Fitbit (see? new tools are great to add to the overall arsenal!), and use the Fitbit Food Log tools fairly religiously. Within the desktop dashboard interface, I use the “create a meal” feature to input the ingredients of any new-to-me recipe that I’m considering adding to my meal prep routine and use that nutritional info to determine how many meals it breaks down to in a calorically responsible way, and whether that’s workable for my needs. If it’s something I want to make but it’s too much or too little food, I’ll look into freezing some portions for a later date, or scaling it.
Am I going to get bored?
I’ve figured out that 4 times in a single week, a lunch or full dinner (in 10 out of 12s, or show mode) won’t bore me, but 6 times in a single week, it will. I can eat the same breakfast or light dinner (in rehearsal mode) for a week, but then I can’t repeat it for at least a couple of weeks without ruining the experience for myself. I also avoid repeating main ingredients in any given week. This is the version of variety that is, for me, indefinitely sustainable in a manageable way.
Is there a fridge? Is there a microwave?
Some studios have neither. Some studios have one but not both of the above. Sometimes the line for the microwave is going to be half an hour long; sometimes I discover I'll have it all to myself. Some theaters only have a mini fridge for props. These are two big variables to have to factor into my planning. If needed, I can prep all meals that are stable for a while unrefrigerated (or with an icepack in my lunch bag) and are damn tasty at room temperature.
How complicated is the recipe?
In rehearsal mode, I can make soups, calzones, casseroles, braises, fresh bread, etc and still have time left in the day for the other necessary chores plus cuddle time with my dog who has patiently pined for my company all week, as I have for his. In 10 out of 12 mode, I am probably bringing work home on the day off, or sometimes going two weeks without a day off, so I’ll be leaning on previously-frozen food and quickly prepped things like kitchen-sink salads, grain bowls, and sandwiches. In show mode, I can make things like fresh pasta, macarons, and seafood because I have the time for a multi-step process that doesn't allow multitasking, plus I’ll be eating some of my full lunches or dinners at home on real dishes - luxury!
Speaking of seafood... does my food stink?
There is a human decency factor! A person can’t just go heating up seafood, broccoli, or cabbage in a shared space! I’m not a monster!
What do I have lying around?
Bulk buying is cheap buying. For example, it’s obviously more cost effective to buy the bunch of parsley for $1.99 instead of the single serving container of it for $1.50... that’s good home economics. But to make it actually worth my while instead of wasteful, I keep track of the stuff that’s sitting in the fridge and plan to use it up before it spoils. I can keep herbs alive for 2 or 3 weeks (depending on how fresh they were when I bought them). Cheese can sit for a couple of weeks when wrapped properly. Lactaid milk is actually good for a month after opening (joke’s on you, regular milk drinkers!). And so on. Plus, I generally scale pasta recipes so that I’m eating at most 2-3oz of dry pasta per meal, which means I’m often checking my cupboard and saying to myself “hey, use up that macaroni before you go buying penne.” A lot of my recipe modifications involve using what I have on hand, instead of buying something else.
What time of year is it?
I have long-ago stopped being surprised when my “on this day” memories on Facebook tell me that on this date sometime in my posting history, I made the exact dish that I also made two days ago. My cravings cycle seasonally, and if I’m going to enjoy my food, it of course has to feed those cravings. Winters are for chili, soup, and braised things. Summers are for vegetable risotto and things on the grill. You get it.
Finally, a note on where I’m looking for recipes:
I look everywhere. Occasionally, I make something up but more often I'm modifying someone else's recipe in a way that works better for me for any number of reasons. I’m a member of a couple of recipe exchange groups with friends on Facebook. I poke my friends who post great photos of great food on Instagram and ask them for the recipe. I subscribe to Food & Wine as an actual physical magazine that comes in the mail. I subscribe to the RSS feeds for Food52.com, SeriousEats.com, SmittenKitchen.com (she is amazing!), and the New York Times Health and Food sections; sometimes the RSS articles expire after 30 days before I get to them, but they’re there for me when I have time for them. I have the Epicurious, Food Network, and All Recipes apps on my phone, plus Food52’s (Not)Recipe app, which I regularly look to for inspiration. I talk to people in my real life!! Plus, I have a library of actual physical cookbooks! I used to travel with most of them when I was on tour (my roadbox was heavy); halfway through my time on the road, I got my first Kindle, scanned all of my favorite recipes, shipped my cookbooks home, and loaded up that first generation Kindle with over one thousand PDFs. Now, I have all of those PDFs plus about a thousand more in Dropbox folder organized by chef/source, so that it’s searchable and accessible from whatever device I prefer in the moment.
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When Crowdfunding Resembles Opportunism or The Greed in Your Ask is Getting Obvious
By Don Hall
I most recently joined the World of Crowdfunding with my new Patreon Campaign. I’m torn as, in general, I’ve seen far too many of these efforts resemble either a corrupt civil servant trying to raise money for bail or legal fees, someone desperately using it as a replacement for medical insurance or Ian Belknap using GoFundMe to help pay for an office space so he doesn’t have to deal with his kids at home while churning out pedantic screeds on Faceborg.
Go ahead and Google “crowdfunding abuse” and the list is long and ugly.
When Angela Vela asked me to perform a piece about Greed for her monthly show The Seven Deadly Sins, crowdfunding abuse was my target.
Dear Roger –
I know I haven’t been in touch for a while and I apologize right off the bat for not reaching out to you when you got your new job three years ago or when you got married two years ago or when you and your wife had that baby last year. Obviously, you were in my thoughts but I never took the time to connect after college. My bad, bro.
Remember the time when we both got so drunk that we ended up streaking in the Dillons parking lot? LMAO! I barely do. Thanks for bailing us both out, right?
Anyways, I’m writing to you now because I’m kind of in a bind. I wrote some bad checks about two months ago—I totally thought I had them covered but the places cashed the checks before the date I put on them—I thought you couldn’t do that but apparently you can—and the bank is totally fucking me over. Thank god I’m living with my mom, right?
Seriously, is there any chance I could borrow, like, $450 for a while until I get this all straightened out? I’m good for it, bro.
If it is, here’s my Paypal account or you can just send it directly through Chase Pay.
Thanks.
Yo, Rog!!
Long time, no see, right? How’s the wife and kid? I hope great!
The reason I’m writing is to first, apologize for not getting you that $400 back yet. I know it’s been a couple years but things have been moving really fast around here and I’m thinking you’ll thank me once you see how I spent the money I owe you. If you think of it as an investment into something amazing, I’m sure of it.
I moved out of my mom’s house into her garage (I pay rent so it’s not like charity or anything) and decided that I was going to go into a brand new field. Yes, my degree in Contemporary Greek Philosophy is valuable to me but is not what a sustainable career is made of, right? So I looked out into the world in search of my calling, right? And it hit me right in the jaw—social media. I spend a huge amount of my time writing funny things on Facebook and Twitter, why not parlay that into a full-time career? So...
I’m in Chicago now, and I’m going to take classes at the famed Second City Training Center. You know, the place that spawned the careers of Bill Murray, Stephen Colbert, that guy from the “Sledgehammer” TV show and the voice of Homer Simpson? I figure that a degree from such an esteemed comedic institution is bound to bolster my street cred with companies looking for clever and sarcastic social media responses so I’m currently enrolled.
Here’s the thing: the $400 I owe you went to pay for some of my first eight weeks but once I get my degree and a job writing the Funny Ha-Ha, I’ll pay you back with interest. OR...
Below is a link to my new Kickstarter Campaign to raise the money to pay for all 15 levels of Second City training. I only need to raise $22,000 for this and after all those levels, I’m pretty much guaranteed a spot on SNL which would be even better than writing for Facebook. LOL! Winky emoji.
Any amount is acceptable and you know I’m good for it. A donation of $500 will get you an autographed photo and front row seats at a live taping of SNL!
Thanks!
Dear Roger –
After Second City level 7 and my continued work at Boston Market, I wanted to die every single day of my life and it took me several years to realize it was because of the environment I was in. So, I picked the next best place: San Francisco, which is close to my dad, since we’ve never gotten to have much of a relationship and I like the weather up here. I found a job (I was hired the same day as my interview, in fact) and I put a bunch of debt on a shiny new credit card to afford the move.
I got the job thinking I was all set to write those funny quips on the company’s social media (I mean, I did have seven levels at the world famous Second City, right?) but I was told I’d have to work in support for an entire year before I would be able to move to a different department. A whole year answering calls and talking to customers just for the hope that someday I’d be able to make memes and Twitter jokes. But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s get back to the situation at hand, shall we?
So here I am, 27-years-old, balancing all sorts of debt and trying to pave a life for myself that doesn’t involve crying in the bathtub every week. Every single one of my coworkers is struggling. They’re taking side jobs, they’re living at home. One of them started a GoFundMe because she couldn’t pay her rent. She ended up leaving the company and moving east, somewhere the minimum wage could double as a living wage. Another wrote on those neat whiteboards we’ve got on every floor begging for help because he was bound to be homeless in two weeks. Fortunately, someone helped him out. At least, I think they did. I actually haven’t seen him in the past few months. Do you think he’s okay? Another guy who got hired, and ultimately let go, was undoubtedly homeless. He brought a big bag with him and stocked up on all those snacks they make sure are on every floor.
I haven’t bought groceries since I started this job. Not because I’m lazy, but because I got this ten pound bag of rice before I moved here and my meals at home (including the one I’m having as I write this) consist, by and large, of that. Because I can’t afford to buy groceries.
Will you pay my phone bill for me? I just got a text from T-Mobile telling me my bill is due.
Look, I’ll make you a deal. You don’t have to pay my phone bill. I’ll just disconnect my phone. And I’ll disconnect my home internet, too, even though it’s the only way I can do work for my freelance gig that I haven’t been able to do since I moved here because I’m constantly too stressed to focus on anything but going to sleep as soon as I’m not at work.
If you could help me out, my PayPal is paypal.me/jimmyzee, my Venmo is jimmyzee (no hyphen). Square Cash is cash.me/$JimZee.
Thanks, bro.
Rogerio!!
You've been so generous in the past and I'm trying to raise money to get a plane ticket and funds for the final auditions for the 2016 season of American Idol.
I went to Disney World a few years ago and did the American Idol experience attraction at MGM. I auditioned and got on the show. They do 5 shows per day where an audience picks the winner of 3 performers. At the end of the day, they have a big show where the 5 winners compete for a Dream Ticket.
The Dream Ticket is a pass to get to the front of the American Idol Audition Line. I performed and won the small show during the day, then won the final show at the end of the day, getting me the Dream Ticket. They don't expire and you can use them at any auditions. I thought I had lost it, but in a stroke of luck (and possibly fate), I just found it in my files at home.
This could be my last chance to do it and I can't live my life wondering,"What if?" I have this amazing opportunity and hoprfully, with your help, I can live my dream and live life to the very fullest!
Thank you for the chance!!
Hey Everyone!
As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of ULTRA Music Festival in MIAMI. This will be my 14th year attending and marks my 2nd year moderating the Facebook group. I admittedly have put in TOO MANY hours running the group, making sure it is free from spam and trolls. It has been a lot of fun but it has also stolen a ton of my time. I am hoping that some of the friendships I've made will inspire people to be generous and help me make this trip possible.
Normally March is an abundant month for me but this year I am financially "running on fumes." I have spent the last 2.5 months recovering from a broken ankle, which has kept me from working. In this time I have used up all my reserve cash and now with my trip to Florida right around the corner my credit card bills are looming. I will use this money to pay for the flight, ticket, lodging and food for during the trip. It would be the best birthday present if I got a great response.
I will be eternally grateful to everyone who helps out and would LOVE to meet up with you and take some photos at the festival. Thank you so much for your support. <3
–Jimmy Zee
Roger –
I know why you haven’t returned any of my recent texts or direct messages. You don’t believe that I’m actually sick and I guess I don’t blame you. I can assure you, the cancer is real and I don’t have anyone else to turn to. I need $4,500 to help fund a trip to St. John where there is a shaman there who they say can pray the cancer out of me. Outside shot but I’m also told that when your prognosis is this bad, you gotta bucket list that shit, right?
I know I have no right to even ask but, in case you find it in your heart to help an old (31 years is now OLD!) college buddy out, my GoFundMe profile is linked below.
Jim
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When Crowdfunding Resembles Opportunism or The Greed in Your Ask is Getting Obvious
By Don Hall
I most recently joined the World of Crowdfunding with my new Patreon Campaign. I’m torn as, in general, I’ve seen far too many of these efforts resemble either a corrupt civil servant trying to raise money for bail or legal fees, someone desperately using it as a replacement for medical insurance or Ian Belknap using GoFundMe to help pay for an office space so he doesn’t have to deal with his kids at home while churning out pedantic screeds on Faceborg.
Go ahead and Google “crowdfunding abuse” and the list is long and ugly.
When Angela Vela asked me to perform a piece about Greed for her monthly show The Seven Deadly Sins, crowdfunding abuse was my target.
Dear Roger –
I know I haven’t been in touch for a while and I apologize right off the bat for not reaching out to you when you got your new job three years ago or when you got married two years ago or when you and your wife had that baby last year. Obviously, you were in my thoughts but I never took the time to connect after college. My bad, bro.
Remember the time when we both got so drunk that we ended up streaking in the Dillons parking lot? LMAO! I barely do. Thanks for bailing us both out, right?
Anyways, I’m writing to you now because I’m kind of in a bind. I wrote some bad checks about two months ago—I totally thought I had them covered but the places cashed the checks before the date I put on them—I thought you couldn’t do that but apparently you can—and the bank is totally fucking me over. Thank god I’m living with my mom, right?
Seriously, is there any chance I could borrow, like, $450 for a while until I get this all straightened out? I’m good for it, bro.
If it is, here’s my Paypal account or you can just send it directly through Chase Pay.
Thanks.
Yo, Rog!!
Long time, no see, right? How’s the wife and kid? I hope great!
The reason I’m writing is to first, apologize for not getting you that $400 back yet. I know it’s been a couple years but things have been moving really fast around here and I’m thinking you’ll thank me once you see how I spent the money I owe you. If you think of it as an investment into something amazing, I’m sure of it.
I moved out of my mom’s house into her garage (I pay rent so it’s not like charity or anything) and decided that I was going to go into a brand new field. Yes, my degree in Contemporary Greek Philosophy is valuable to me but is not what a sustainable career is made of, right? So I looked out into the world in search of my calling, right? And it hit me right in the jaw—social media. I spend a huge amount of my time writing funny things on Facebook and Twitter, why not parlay that into a full-time career? So...
I’m in Chicago now, and I’m going to take classes at the famed Second City Training Center. You know, the place that spawned the careers of Bill Murray, Stephen Colbert, that guy from the “Sledgehammer” TV show and the voice of Homer Simpson? I figure that a degree from such an esteemed comedic institution is bound to bolster my street cred with companies looking for clever and sarcastic social media responses so I’m currently enrolled.
Here’s the thing: the $400 I owe you went to pay for some of my first eight weeks but once I get my degree and a job writing the Funny Ha-Ha, I’ll pay you back with interest. OR...
Below is a link to my new Kickstarter Campaign to raise the money to pay for all 15 levels of Second City training. I only need to raise $22,000 for this and after all those levels, I’m pretty much guaranteed a spot on SNL which would be even better than writing for Facebook. LOL! Winky emoji.
Any amount is acceptable and you know I’m good for it. A donation of $500 will get you an autographed photo and front row seats at a live taping of SNL!
Thanks!
Dear Roger –
After Second City level 7 and my continued work at Boston Market, I wanted to die every single day of my life and it took me several years to realize it was because of the environment I was in. So, I picked the next best place: San Francisco, which is close to my dad, since we’ve never gotten to have much of a relationship and I like the weather up here. I found a job (I was hired the same day as my interview, in fact) and I put a bunch of debt on a shiny new credit card to afford the move.
I got the job thinking I was all set to write those funny quips on the company’s social media (I mean, I did have seven levels at the world famous Second City, right?) but I was told I’d have to work in support for an entire year before I would be able to move to a different department. A whole year answering calls and talking to customers just for the hope that someday I’d be able to make memes and Twitter jokes. But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s get back to the situation at hand, shall we?
So here I am, 27-years-old, balancing all sorts of debt and trying to pave a life for myself that doesn’t involve crying in the bathtub every week. Every single one of my coworkers is struggling. They’re taking side jobs, they’re living at home. One of them started a GoFundMe because she couldn’t pay her rent. She ended up leaving the company and moving east, somewhere the minimum wage could double as a living wage. Another wrote on those neat whiteboards we’ve got on every floor begging for help because he was bound to be homeless in two weeks. Fortunately, someone helped him out. At least, I think they did. I actually haven’t seen him in the past few months. Do you think he’s okay? Another guy who got hired, and ultimately let go, was undoubtedly homeless. He brought a big bag with him and stocked up on all those snacks they make sure are on every floor.
I haven’t bought groceries since I started this job. Not because I’m lazy, but because I got this ten pound bag of rice before I moved here and my meals at home (including the one I’m having as I write this) consist, by and large, of that. Because I can’t afford to buy groceries.
Will you pay my phone bill for me? I just got a text from T-Mobile telling me my bill is due.
Look, I’ll make you a deal. You don’t have to pay my phone bill. I’ll just disconnect my phone. And I’ll disconnect my home internet, too, even though it’s the only way I can do work for my freelance gig that I haven’t been able to do since I moved here because I’m constantly too stressed to focus on anything but going to sleep as soon as I’m not at work.
If you could help me out, my PayPal is paypal.me/jimmyzee, my Venmo is jimmyzee (no hyphen). Square Cash is cash.me/$JimZee.
Thanks, bro.
Rogerio!!
You've been so generous in the past and I'm trying to raise money to get a plane ticket and funds for the final auditions for the 2016 season of American Idol.
I went to Disney World a few years ago and did the American Idol experience attraction at MGM. I auditioned and got on the show. They do 5 shows per day where an audience picks the winner of 3 performers. At the end of the day, they have a big show where the 5 winners compete for a Dream Ticket.
The Dream Ticket is a pass to get to the front of the American Idol Audition Line. I performed and won the small show during the day, then won the final show at the end of the day, getting me the Dream Ticket. They don't expire and you can use them at any auditions. I thought I had lost it, but in a stroke of luck (and possibly fate), I just found it in my files at home.
This could be my last chance to do it and I can't live my life wondering,"What if?" I have this amazing opportunity and hoprfully, with your help, I can live my dream and live life to the very fullest!
Thank you for the chance!!
Hey Everyone!
As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of ULTRA Music Festival in MIAMI. This will be my 14th year attending and marks my 2nd year moderating the Facebook group. I admittedly have put in TOO MANY hours running the group, making sure it is free from spam and trolls. It has been a lot of fun but it has also stolen a ton of my time. I am hoping that some of the friendships I've made will inspire people to be generous and help me make this trip possible.
Normally March is an abundant month for me but this year I am financially "running on fumes." I have spent the last 2.5 months recovering from a broken ankle, which has kept me from working. In this time I have used up all my reserve cash and now with my trip to Florida right around the corner my credit card bills are looming. I will use this money to pay for the flight, ticket, lodging and food for during the trip. It would be the best birthday present if I got a great response.
I will be eternally grateful to everyone who helps out and would LOVE to meet up with you and take some photos at the festival. Thank you so much for your support. <3
–Jimmy Zee
Roger –
I know why you haven’t returned any of my recent texts or direct messages. You don’t believe that I’m actually sick and I guess I don’t blame you. I can assure you, the cancer is real and I don’t have anyone else to turn to. I need $4,500 to help fund a trip to St. John where there is a shaman there who they say can pray the cancer out of me. Outside shot but I’m also told that when your prognosis is this bad, you gotta bucket list that shit, right?
I know I have no right to even ask but, in case you find it in your heart to help an old (31 years is now OLD!) college buddy out, my GoFundMe profile is linked below.
Jim
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