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baekhvuns · 10 months

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this is late mihane mihane

MISS UNIVERSE OH YES BABY i mean how could she not? How could she not be the miss universe? THOSE PRETTY EYES, THOSE LUSH PLUMP LIPS, HIGH CHEEKBONES she wasn't made...she was ARCHITECTED! (idc if it's not a word-) oh and i realized tht the second actress, who is a marvelous dancer was the mc of hum aple hai koaun HOW COULD I BE SO STEWWPIDD! really a shakespare play?...tht just made it better.

NOOOO *ugly crying* you are right i missed that i thought they were just playing and messing around BRUH THEY PREDICTED THE FUTURE their manifesting game is high in negative things, bring it down a notch.

no no no don't even talk about tht movie. the scene where the main actress says, "Ever since you've joined the army, it's like you're trying to distance yourself from me." ... i can't. i can't even-

....eh? they are. the actress is Deepika right? ofc ik her my cousin has a huge crush on her ever since he saw tht one movie where she stars with vin deisel. but this just makes it even better bcz come on, WE GET THE COUPLES WE'RE THRIVING FOR! INDIAN INDUSTRY BE MAKING OUR DREAMS COME TRUE! ooh same director. you gotta tell me which movie did they first meet at.

dude fr. When i tell you i read the little synopsis of the movie i was ..... perplexed. Because goddamm a sting operation?? just for the sexuality? what is wrong with people?? If i ever went to hell imma tell satan to bring those cruel creatures to where i am and i'll show them what 'hell' truly is.

AHHHH NOOO ATEEZ + BODY RYTHMM I FOUND MY NEXT DREAM 😭😭😭😭nah ur right that rawness of ateez, and just hopes and dream...and a boat, True those were the days man. I mean i started stanning them when i heard illusion (its underrated af idk why people don't like it??) and then i stumbled upon those beautiful masterpieces ughh i would sell my soul just to hear those amazing songs once again for the first time.

aww ill always be here, also ik we're like in the whole Yunho era can i just...

thnk u hv a nice day/night/evening *runs away*

no worries! take your time!

RIGHT THISE PRETTY EYES AND THOSE LIPS SHE IS SO GOD DAMN FINE IM VERY MUCH OBSESSED WITH HER SHE REALLY WAS ARCHITECTEDRHWJ (fun fact! all the movies that director has made even the ones deepika starts in, the directors first choice was always miss world 🤲🏻 BUT SHE NEVER IS AVAILABLE) the second actress is oh omg she is so stunningly talented like miss girl rULED 😭😭😭

NO BC WHEN I SAW THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME LIKE THSE MF MANIFESTED THAT INTO THEIR LIVES???? i wish the second actress got a love interest so bad 😭😭😭 some actual nice guy 😭😭

NO RIGHT AND WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO HIS FRIEND HE SAID “i’ll come back, either wrapped in the flag or with the…” 😭😭😭😭 SCREAM CRIED AT THE LAST SONG SCENE LIKE HOW DO U PUT THIS MUCH PAIN INTO 3 MINUTES OF THE SONG

they are! honestly her in that vin diesel movie, she was so incredibly fine, ahead of her time actually !! THEY REALLY MAKING THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE WITH THE WAY THEY FALL IN LOVE ???? those twts about “i could never be a actor bc id fall in love” and they fall in love on set,, oKAY they first met at the movie ram leela (romeo and juliet with a mafia twist!) he saw her later in 2014 (when that movie was gonna film) at an award show where she won an award and he was the one presenting it to her and he just kind fell on spot <3

AND THE WAY IT WAS FUCKING BASED ON AN IRL STORY??? A STING OPERATION JUST FOR THAT??? vile. no ur so right, when i die one day will come back to haunt ppl like this on purpose,,, im sorry but like this is beyond me,, A STING OPERATION OVER SOMEONES SEXUALITY??

right??? treasure had such rawness, like one mic, 8 dreams and a song,,, to be in those simpler times and to ACTUALLY hear their voices blend in w songs like i be missing that so terribly, illusion is so underrated!!!! honestly wave’s entire album is ngl fbwnfh BRING BACK WAVE !!!! right?? ateez’s song choices at that era were so spectacular i just wish they also go into different genres, like a versatile discography— bring back the classics 😭😭

DO NOT PLEASE. DO NOT I JUST FINISHED EDITING YUNHOS TEASER AND UR HERE DROPPING THIS MAN LIKE HE ISNT CALLING MY NAME FROM THE DRAFTS ALREADY

#✉️ : ask #[ catsanrabbithwa ]

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riphimopen · 2 years

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i'm watching the Halloweens for the first time these days (skipping the third one and the sixth one bc fuck off obviously) and you're the michael expert in my eyes i wanna know EVERYTHING you think of him and how do you feel about the rob zombie version etc etc <3 thank youuuu

IM THE EXPERT????? OH BOY IM SMOOCHING YOU no youre making the right choices FUCK 3 6 and FUCK rz. ok here we go let me just talk abt the movies first

west coast best coast first movie best movie PERIOD obv im all for expanding on mikes character and shit etc but 1978 said THERE IS A FUCKED UP GUY PERIOD. THATS IT. and i really admired their dedication to lack of detail. like if i was just gonna watch one and done? first movie has mike, jamie lee curtis, and murders, and thats really all you need. plus obv cinematography and soundtrack

H2 is where we get BALLING its got explosions doctors MORE JAMIE LEE CURTIS and ofc...... my favorite plot twist on da planet lol <333 personally i love the sibling twist bc its funny as SHIT. h2 is a good one. ending wild as shit

h3 not real #girl

h4 and 5......... UGH ok i love jamie lloyd sm she a baby fr and one of the best things to happen to the franchise. WE DO NOT TALK ABT THE THORN CURSE OR H6 THEY R NOT REAL overall 4+5 as a package deal are solid and have some good moments, if you can get past the stupid druid shit and the man in black theres lots to expand on mikes character and make you HATE sam loomis

h20 is the FUNNIEST SHIT on the planet. PERIOD LMAOO LIKE??? this was really the Laurie Off Tha Shits movie and i think they were SO brave for that i personally dont keep it main cannon in my little brain but its extremely funny and i love the emphasis on sibling dynamic. its so good and by the end ur yelling like YES thats what horror characters SHOULD have done

resurrection................... GOD well. i wish jlc couldve done the whole thing but she didnt. and mike gets electrocuted in da balls by Busta Rhymes so thats really all there is to that one

now on the rob zombie shit. asides from the EXTREME amount of nudity and sex scenes in that shit, asides from all the other things that dont work w those movies, THE THING THAT IRKS ME IS THAT HE TRIED TO REMAKE JASON. he tried to make michael into a hulking sympathetic giant with an abusive childhood who can talk to his mothers vision and is heavily motivated by his grief trauma and emotions like. We Literally Already Have Jason Thank You. myers is meant to be some batshit 5'10 dude completely off his gourd and ASIDES FROM ALL THE WEIRD MISOGYNY AND VIOLENCE of the rzs, they just do a shitty job of recharacterizing mike

AND LASTLY THE 2018 TRILLOGY..... ok so 2018 was solid. kinda dumb, but we get laurie for the lesbians and bald asf myers. kinda stupid asf to be hyping him up if they're picking up right after the first one, and im bummed they didnt keep the sibling plot, but whatever

KILLS, however. this movie is true to its name and has good kill scenes but thats ALL i can say in its favor. it's muddled commentary on mob mentality and policy brutality completely overshadow any point it may have made about ableism within the horror genre and it ultimately ends up advocating for the police to murder unarmed citizens while simultaneously being extremely preachy in condoning mob violence, encouraging the public to leave things to the cops and encouraging cops to be more violent. BUT: mike takes out all those firefighters and it fucks hard so its ur call to balance

and u want 2 hear what i think abt mike..... ugh i luv u ok. so ive said it before and ill say it again i LOVE two dimensional evil characters who are just SHITTY and villainous and nothing behind their eyes. but since michaels establishment in the very first film, we are given too much of his background to properly categorize him as one of the above. this is a medically abused severely drugged young adult breaking out of a decade and a half of serious trauma and going off the shits one night; one can hardly take a character one meets as a helpless child and condemn it to the label of monster. my design and interpretation of michael are heavily based on my experience with mental illness because, when u really boil him down, he is a mentally ill person who was never given the help he needed and was in fact exploited, abused, and mistreated, and went off the rails bc of it. its largely a critique of the medical field: i hate doctors. the way i see michael is as literally just some guy, some complete rando, who was dealt shitty mental health at a young age, handed over to abusers, and was able to achieve the catharsis and vindication of becoming the monster theyd told him he was bc. well i love rage killing and excessive violence lol

deep sigh anyway thank u SO much 4 asking dont take any of this as law and make sure to formulate ur own opinions ofc donate a billion dollars to ur local mentally ill person AND REMEMBER: horror movies is for laughing and going "AH!" and thats all there is 2 it.

#asks #michael myers #halloween 1978

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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

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mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_;

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good!

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies?

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude.

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins!

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

#lj rereads mtmte #love me some delphi

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tiredbiostudent · 4 years

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Hi! Could you maybe recommend some music, I keep listening to the same three songs and would love to find something new, doesn't have to be a specific genre. Also, you're blog is wonderful!

omg this is so sweet my heart is 🥺 rn but also, idk how much I can help because I also genuinely will listen to one song for an entire week straight and haven’t had a ton of time to find new music lately! but here’s some genre breakdowns of artists I love and some songs by them, or just individual tunes:

[edit: sorry this got insanely long!! I can maybe link spotify playlists if I ever get around to making some ‘:) but tl;dr my fave artists are frank ocean, sigrid, hozier, ben howard, cezinando, khalid, childish gambino, nas, lorde, the lumineers, rhcp, girl in red and travis scott]

1. guitar/rock indie-arcade fire: neighbourhood #3, the well and the lighthouse, we exist, afterlife, the suburbs, ready to start, SUBURBAN WAR!! (listen to the entire suburbs album if you want to feel rlly nostalgic about ur childhood)-ben howard (my favourite artist ever, I saw him live and it was phenomenal): rivers in your mouth, time is dancing, I forget where we were, only love, black flies, oats in the water, she treats me well, towing the line, follaton wood-rhcp (long time fave): under the bridge, by the way, californiacation, scar tissue, otherside, goodbye angels, dani California, snow (hey oh), tell me baby-city and colour (another old fave who I’ve also seen live and is amazing!! if you like hozier and the lumineers you’d like him, a bit of a less intense sound though): sleeping sickness, what makes a man, waiting…, constant knot, the golden state, killing time, wasted love, runaway, map of the world, blood, the grand optimist :’), northern wind, hello I’m in delaware-the scientist by coldplay.. if u haven’t been emo about this song since 2003 wyd-haven’t listened to her in forever but cosmic love by florence + the machine >>-girl in red (her music is great but her LYRICS r literally my soul): i wanna be your girlfriend, summer depression, i need to be alone, 4am, girls, say anything, bad idea, i’ll die anyway, we fell in love in october-harry styles: adore you, fine line, golden, sunflower vol. 6, sweet creature, lights up, to be so lonely, sign of the times, HIS COVER OF ULTRALIGHT BEAM-hozier (ANOTHER fave, fucking insane live too. sir ily): work song, in the woods somewhere, sedated, cherry wine, almost (sweet music) [song equivalent to a warm summer evening], movement !! holy f-, as it was, be, wasteland baby!-broken by lovelytheband-the lumineers (my guys!!!!): cleopatra, sleep on the floor, angela, long way from home, sick in the head, my eyes, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, stubborn love-where’s my love by syml-mitski: washing machine heart, old friend, nobody, lonesome love-sam roberts band: bridge to nowhere, brother down, if you want it-saturn by sleeping at last-sufjan stevens: mystery of love, visions of Gideon (I don’t stan cmbyn but literally these two songs are the only thing I listened to from dec 2017 to feb 2018), the hidden river of my life, futile devices, Vesuvius-love will tear us apart cover by susanna and the magical orchestra-vance joy: mess is mine, Georgia, my kind of man, Saturday sun, we’re going home, lay it on me, take your time, I’m with you !!, like gold, crashing into you-remember when by wallows !!!

2. chill indie/pop-billie eilish: idontwannabeyouanymore, ilomilo, my strange addiction, bury a friend-cezinando (also my fave artist, and noen ganger is probs my fave album of all time): ingenting blir det samme men samme for meg, selv du, haper du har plass (if u can make it thru this song w/o crying on public transportation you are much stronger than I), tommolen pa vekta, er dette alt, usynlig-sigrid (the LOML and my other fave artist- seeing her live was the best day of my life no cap): dynamite, plot twist, fake friends, strangers, don’t feel like crying, raw, focus, I don’t want to know, her cover of sex by the 1975 changed my life fr, mine right now, BASIC !!!!!, in vain, never mine [this is highkey bc I’m a bonafide sigrid stan but I cannot recommend her ENOUGH she has one of the most incredible voices ever, is an insanely talented songwriter, and her music is so hype and beautiful and yeah :’)]-khalid (I love his voice sm, also the ceo of vibes): bad luck, cold blooded, 8teen, my bad, better, hundred, Saturday nights, suncity-run by elsa and emilie-lorde (my bby): bravado, buzzcut season, the love club, the louvre, supercut, 400 lux, ribs, white teeth teens, a world alone-fy faen by hkeem & temur (have been listening to this song for 3 yrs straight no cap)-btstu by jai paul-8896 by lapsley-joji: slow dancing in the dark, will he-moon by kid francesoli-aloha by mome (another all time fave)-karpe diem: hvite menn som pusher 50, lett a vaere rebell i kjellerleiligheten din, gunerius, spis din syvende sans-astrid s: 2AM matoma remix (one of my fave songs ever tbh), hurts so good !!!, such a boy-myth by beachhouse -mgmt: kids, electric feel-nostalgi 3millioner by tomine harket & unge Ferrari -lykke li: sex money feelings die (did I listen to this song for 5 months straight last year? hm), I follow rivers-one direction (ofc): story of my life, 18, night changes, drag me down, literally all of Take Me Home which is unequivocally their best album I will take no criticism on that-berlin by ry x-dancing with a stranger by sam smith and normani-taylor swift (not rlly a fan but wowww some of her songs): call it what you want !!!!, false god, begin again, all you had to do was stay, clean-kamikaze by Susanne sundfor-tame impala: let it happen (the og and the soulwax remix), the less I know the better, gossip-head over heels by tears for fears-somebody else by the 1975 (apparently I was the only one who only discovered this song in 2019 but it’s like all I listened to from October-December)

3. rap & rnb-brockhampton: rental !!!, face, bleach, sweet-childish gambino: ii. zealots of stockholm, heartbeat, les, the “hardbone with a hard r” remix of bonfire and redbone drooooool-drake (yikes dude but ngl. chill bops): feel no ways, u with me?, hold on we’re going home, passionfruit, you and the 6-vince staples: bagbak, lift me up, norf norf-frank ocean (LOML frank I’d die for you. also my fave artist *proceeds to list his entire discography*): SEIGFRIED!!!!, songs 4 women, nights, chanel, ivy, thinkin bout you, sweet life, pyramids, lost, bad religion, pink matter, forrest gump, in my room, swim good, dust, american wedding, provider-jorja smith: blue lights, february 3rd, on your own-ransom by lil tecca-nas (fave to end all faves): take it in blood, represent, the message, halftime, affirmative action, street dreams, one love, hate me now, cherry wine, new world-mobb deep: hell on earth, survival of the fittest, party over, shook ones pt ii-travis scott: (astroworld is the only thing I listened to summer-fall 2018 no cap) astrothunder, coffee bean, Yosemite, butterfly effect, houstonfornication, skeletons, stop trying to be god, stargazing, highest in the room-kanye (don’t roast me for this): can’t tell me nothing, ultralight beam, fade, hold my liquor-drip too hard by lil baby-(all a product of tiktok) bop, toes, suge, panini remix by da baby-migos (lmao): notice me, slippery, pure water-walk man by tmg sfdjhfkdjfsdfs-go loko by YG-the weeknd: reminder, as you are, hurt you, privilege, tell your friends, starboy, sidewalks, high for this

(I also love old school rock music but haven’t listened to it much since highschool- my fave bands are led zeppelin, CCR, boston, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, blue oyster cult, styx, the who)

#i am. sorry.#also me making this realizing how intensely my music taste is based off tv shows. ok one tv show fsdhsdfjfdshkjfd #asks #long post #music

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theworstbob · 7 years

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yellin’ at songs: june, week two

the songs that debuted on the 6.10.2017 and 6.9.2007 editions of the billboard hot 100 discussed herein with an appropriate enthusiasm

6.9.2007

6.9.2007 15) "This Is My Now," Jordin Sparks 18) "You Give Love a Bad Name," Blake Lewis 66) "A Broken Wing," Jordin Sparks 80) "I Who Have Nothing," Jordin Sparks 99) "Time of the Season," Blake Lewis

So these are five performances from American Idol that America liked enough to pay for. I'm sure other people paid for Blake Leiws' version of "This Is My Now," and bless those nice people for believing in something. Jordin Sparks is probably one of the most talented people to ever win Idol; given how well she performed and how young she was, I'd argue she's the fourth-best winner. (Obviously, I'm not here to besmirch Kelly, Carrie, or Fantasia. Candice, Ruben, and Caleb are awesome, but like Jordin was 16.) I get why we don't hear much from Jordin these days, pop music is fickle and so few names in the 2007 list appear on the 2017 list, but she should've had more. Blake, yo yo yo, you know what, dawg, I think, hey, I think "You Give Love a Bad Name" is one of the all-time Idol moments, one of the few performances I still remember to this day, like there's no singing for a third of the performance that's goddamn amazing THAT DRUMMER THO, but he should've been bounced Top Three at the latest. I know I came here to review pop songs and not season six of American Idol, but these songs weren't hits, you weren't driving down the street blastin' a live performance of a 40-year-old British invasion jam, I'ma do what I want heck y'all.

30) "Big Things Poppin' (Do It)," T.I.

T.I.'s in a weird space in the rap game where he was one of the biggest names for a hot minute, there's not a soul in America that doesn't know "Live Your Life" or "Whatever U Like," but if you're making your list of the best MCs of all time, you're crazy if you put him in the Top 10. Hell, it'd be hard to put him in a Top 50. Maybe top 100, but there’s been nearly 40 years of rap music. T.I.’s fine, but I’m not sure I can’t name 100 rappers better than him, or who advanced the genre more. This song is an example of T.I.'s above-averageness: he does just enough to make it memorable, that hook gets stuck in your head for ten years and never leaves, but there's nothing in this song I can point to as being uniquely T.I. Like, the first T.I. song I ever heard had a hook from a Jay-Z song, y'know? It's a nice song, I had a fun time revisiting it, but I can't imagine I would've made my way back to this moment were it not for this project.

54) "Tarantula," Smashing Pumpkins

...I should like this? It's rock veterans making a solid rock song? If I have "I Don't Wanna Stop" in the top 20 I should probably have felt this more than I did? But. Here we are. I thought it rocked, but I also think several buttrock songs by bands that weren't way more important in the '90s rock, so the song needed to do more for me than that, needed to hit that "I Don't Wanna Stop" thing, and, ugh, is this expectation? Is this lingering bias against Smashing Pumpkins working here, and not an honest assessment of the song itself? I don't think Billy Corgan's a good person, but he knows how to construct a song, and hey, if I'm giving Shakira credit for being a Latin music pro, I should give Billy Corgan for credit for making a nice song I mostly enjoyed, however many reservations I have about enjoying it. Ugh, fine. The guitar player whose name I probably should remember given that Smashing Pumpkins are a thing did work. I can't deny him his credit, unless I fail to remember his name, which, oops.

76) "4 in the Morning," Gwen Stefani

The Wikipedia entry for this song claims this a 1980s-inspired midtempo synth ballad, and, um, I've heard E MO TION at least 30 times. This is not E MO TION. This belongs nowhere near E MO TION. This would've been cut from Side B. How dare you sully the nice name of 1980s-inspired synthpop. How DARE you.

83) "Beautiful Girls," Sean Kingston

This bass does work. I can appreciate the nice bass in this song while thinking the rest of the content is trash. This song has a verse about how Sean Kingston went to jail in '99. What the even hell even. It's a far stranger song than I could have imagined, and I remembered the hook makes reference to Sean Kingtson being suicidal because girls are pretty.

95) "Lip Gloss," Lil Mama

...I love this. Look. Look. I didn't expect to form this opinion, and you know it. I didn't expect to be entranced by this "Grindin"-for-Kidz-Bop beat. I didn't think Lil Mama was gonna be that decent on the mic. I didn't think I would find the lyrical content to be any dumber than anything else that's ever been on pop radio. (”Something Just Like This” is in the top ten. Tell me this song’s dumber than that. Go ahead. “Spiderman’s control.” Tell me that line has more impact and weight than “All the boys be jockin’/They chase me after school.”) I didn't expect any of this. But here we are. I love "Lip Gloss," the song we all made fun of ten years ago. Like this is legit. This is not "Friday," this is not something I enjoyed purely as trash, this is something legitimate, something worth defending. Will it change the world? No. Am I sure I'm not just reacting to a vision of high school that is fun and carefree in a world dominated by media in which high schoolers are either getting raped or planning a massacre? Not entirely! But. I. Love. This. Song. It's nice and I like it. I don't care what this says about me, this song is great, and y'all can go get hecked if you have anything bad to say about this delightful little treat.

96) "Make Me Better," Fabolous ft./Ne-Yo

Very "last song of a unit of writing." It's not bad or good, it just sort of exists, so I can listen to it and check out, like, Alright! We will have either made jokes about or wrung our hands with self-seriousness over six pop songs, don't need to do anything special with this one, just shoehorn in the 6.9 acknowledgement in the first sentence and we'll be done in two! But f'real I don't have a ton of nice things to say about this song. Just standard Timbaland trash, with Ne-Yo doing his best to salvage it and an occasionally-interesting rapper raising an eyebrow at a challenge but remaining seated.

The Top 20 is poppin’. The Top 20 is cool. 20) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 19) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 18) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 17) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 16) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 15) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 14) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 13) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 12) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 11) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 10) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 9) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 8) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 7) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 6) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 5) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 4) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 3) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) 2017 be jockin’. It chases me after school.

6.10.2017

(42) "Strip That Down," by Liam Payne ft./Quavo

I'm actually kind of impressed that the individual members of One Direction each have solo projects significantly different from one another's. Like, Harry's doing a weird Queen thing, Niall's doing a basic white-boy soul thing, ZAYN is doing something shitty, Louis is havin' some Cheetos or whatever who cares, and Liam's actually made a trashy, dumb, fun pop song. I dunno, I didn't expect to be sitting in my apartment on 31 May 2017 realizing I liked Liam's solo career the most, but here we are. Kid made a less gross Jason Derulo song. I can appreciate a fun three and a half minutes. (Also: Quavo is sort of the 2017 T.I. He's ubiquitous. I have heard at least ten of his verses this year. I can't remember a single word from any of them.)

(43) "Deja Vu," by Lauren Duski (66) "Money on You," by Chris Blue (92) "The Dance," by Lauren Duski

For as long as they can wring ca$hdollars out of selling iTunes singles, The Voice will never die, even if they never end up producing a bona fide superstar. Of course, The Voice doesn't exist to find the next great superstar; it exists to help superstars win trophies, which is a weird vaguely dystopic twist on the reality singing competition genre. (Think of how many of the auditioners come from nothing and have made some amount of sacrifice for one chance to impress a millionaire with their mouthsounds. It's kinda fucked up!) I think Chris Blue has a decent shot at having one genuine hit; I'd stop short of superstar, but I think this nation could stand to fuck with a dude who can pull off Janet on live TV. (iTunes slept on "Rhythm Nation. That's one of those Eurovisiony heights The Voice can occasionally hit.) Lauren Duski's road to stardom is easier but also not; country music is wide and welcomes all with a recognizable name, but at the same time, I've heard her perform three ballads competently the last two weeks. The country music game is run by women who can fuck those ballads UP, y'all. I wish these kids the best and hope I see Chris Blue pop up here in a couple months.

(46) "Swish Swish," by Katy Perry ft./Nicki Minaj

In 2014, Bryce Harper hit a home run in the playoffs off Hunter Strickland. He admired his home run for a touch longer than is custom; one could argue he was trying to assess if it was fair or foul before he jogged around the basement, but facts are facts, he looked at his magnificent fly ball. Though Hunter Strickland's team would win the playoff series and, eventually, the World Series, Hunter Strickland never forgot the insult and harbored his resentment until, in 2017, two and a half years after the fact, Hunter Strickland pelted Bryce Harper with a 98 MPH fastball, finally earning retribution for the insult he suffered in 2014. The reaction from most people in baseball was that Hunter Strickland was an asshole and probably should have let it go, it was nearly three years ago and you won the World Series. Look. Is Tay Tay a good person? Probably not! Does this mean I want to hear a Katy Perry song about a years-old beef I forgot they had? No! But then again, I have never in my life wanted to hear a Katy Perry song, so I dunno, maybe she has the right, point is, Katy Perry makes bad songs and I hate that I started this project in a year where multiple Katy Perry songs were released. A new Carly Rae Jepsen joint dropped last week. I dunno, maybe we might've liked that more? I like it a lot more! I am going to think about the Carly Rae Jepsen song.

(47) "Crying in the Club," by Camila Cabello

This was dope! It's kind of Sia-by-numbers, "Crying in the Club" is a concept I feel I could have arrived at if given five minutes to think of a decent parody of a Sia-type song, but, enh, Sia-by-numbers is still a pretty snazzy pop song. Legit, tho, so I turned on the music video and was already groaning because it was 5:30, not realizing they played a preview of some ballad and not just "Crying in the Club." So there was a solid few seconds where I thought the song transitioned from morose ballad to club banger, and if I'm being real? If this song actually started as a morose ballad that just turned on a dime into the club banger? It might've been my favorite song of the year. I would've been way into that. The vanilla song's fine, I appreciate what it has to offer, but the song I thought it was for three seconds? Amazing.

(76) "Yours if You Want It," by Rascal Flatts

Rascal Flatts is like the music version of Diet Mountain Dew: my mom had it all the time, I'd have a can every now and then if I didn't wanna go to the store for a soda pop, I haven't had it in years, and when I'm 52 it'll be the only thing I drink because it goes down so smooth and gives me more than enough energy to do my yardwork. (Hahahahahah I'm never owning a home GOT TOO MANY IPHONES TO PURCHASE.) Still, it's a country song that isn't preening about how country it is. I'm OK with this. Diet Mountain Dew is a mostly OK drink.

(77) "Most Girls," by Hailee Steinfeld

Part of me kinda wishes Hailee Steinfeld would collab with T Bone Burnett just to acknowledge the fact she was ever in a Coen Brothers movie, and also I want to hear a T. Bone Burnett 2017-era pop song. I think we should sign a change dot org petition to get a T. Bone Burnett-penned joint with a Quavo feature. This is like people got together and said, "Okay, 'Scars to Your Beautiful' had a great message. What if there were a version of that song that didn't suck?" Like, imagine that, an inspirational song that's upbeat. It's nuts.

(94) "Boy," by Lee Brice

oh good a slow boring country song about some basic shit. "there'll be a small town night." goddamnit. i wonder if there's anyone in country music that might've been willing to turn a song like this into an examination on toxic masculinity, like if anyone in country would sing a song to their son about how their father raised them not to acknowledge his emotions and he doesn't want to be that cold to his own son, or let his son not express himself. i think country music as a whole is gonna stay a thousand miles away from tumblr phrases like "toxic masculinity," but i dunno, this song made me think of a song that could be better. it gave me an idea, at least. not that i actually, like, write music, but if i did, i would write country songs about phrases i read on tumblr. "and i swore i wouldn't do this/leave you danglin' like a leaf/'cuz you're the only girl on my mind/i'm none pizza/you're my left beef." get me to a recording studio please.

So Camila Cabello squeaks into the Top 20! 20) "Crying in the Club," by Camila Cabello (6.10) 19) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 18) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 17) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 16) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 15) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 14) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 13) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 12) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 11) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 10) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 9) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) And not a moment before I bothered to look up if her name was Camila or Camilla! It’s the first one. I know that now. I know one less memory from childhood because I now remember how the pop star’s name is spelled.

Who won the week?

I think I used the descriptor “basic” for every song in 2017, which either means I’m a shitty writer or 2017 didn’t bring the heat. Like, my first impression is to call this a tie because both weeks were kinda bleh, enjoyable in spurts but bleh overall, but you compare the top three for each week: 1) “Crying in the Club” vs. “Lipgloss:” “Lipgloss” by a significant margin 2) “Most Girls” vs. “Big Shit Poppin’ (Do It):” “Big Shit Poppin’,” by a smaller margin 3) “Yours if You Want It” vs. “Tarantula:” ...I can’t fucking believe I liked a Smashing Pumpkins song enough to prove a point about how decent a week 2007 was, but, ugh, I guess I did. (You could sub in “Strip Me Down” for “Yours if You Want It.” It doesn’t matter.) Plus, the Idol performances were better than the Voice performances. (The ones that charted, anyway. Again, we are sleeping on “Rhythm Nation.”) So, good job, 2007.

2017: 6 2007: 5

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