#lol he looks like an evil worm on a string
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DANCE WITH THE DEVIL
#my art#furry#horror#cj#my ocs#I absolutely love this piece but don't want anyone to worry or know or. okay well i actually am aching to tell people what's going on#bc it's so fucking lonely. but He won't let me. because He knows people will intervene#...sorry if. Yeah#This sucks.#lol he looks like an evil worm on a string#damn hope that's not the last thing i ever say on this blog. but that would be kinda funny though#vent art
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I don’t think the assassin guy is supposed to be unlikable he’s just evil and does things that specifically hurts Shepard and friends so I don’t like him lol but yeah he does look cool reminded me of Nightwing
Also yeah I really liked Once Upon a Time but as the show went on it became more and more about Disney rather than the actual stories, which the bit of Disney wasn’t bad when it was small doses but then you have characters showing up in their full Disney attire and like no I don’t want that (seriously they made Hades a villain but only took from the Disney Hercules movie instead of actual Greek Mythology it was so ugh) and then Season 7 was just a shit show ugh and don’t get me started on what they did with the Wizard of Oz, Jesus. But some of the stuff they did was really interesting like connecting all these fairy tales together into a family tree and connected story, the Rumpelstiltskin character specifically was so good. I just remembered what they did to Jekyll and Hyde I gotta stop talking before I go ballistic
Yeah Disney have a tendency to do that and monopolise the fairytales media to have it fit their versions.
Still! I'm glad you have something you're very passionate about, it's clear you enjoy it and that's really good. A lot of people underestimate fairytale based media and presume it's childish but I don't think that's right. A great story can be told even though worms on a string and fairytales run deeper than we think.
For Jekyll and Hyde I mostly refer to the musical, it's so dramatic and theatrical, right down my ally.
Maybe you can start writing about once upon a time? Sometimes a fandom seems dead but you'll get the one or two people who want to listen. It's not about who shows up to your performance, it's about getting the chance to make art out of something you love! You can even mix it with dnd.
Term fairytales could be funny in that world since the fairy aka the fae are very alive and living, how would they react to the stories the humans wrote about them.
If not it's totally fine, not all art you consume is supposed to be recycled into new art. Sometimes I can't read fanfics it I happen to be writing that month because I keep comparing it to mine rather than enjoying the work itself.
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lol get worm’d
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Mal breathed out softly, suddenly awaking as she felt the flutter of something touch her lips as she took a pause in her breathing. She sat up with a scream, rapidly wiping her face of the bug that had made its home on her face “GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!” For the daughter of the mistress of all evil, Mal did not like bugs. Mal then paused, watching as a small sticky note fluttered back down to her lap, once on her face.
A sticky note…that’s what it was. Mal took a sigh of relief, thanking the gods for it not being a bug, Mal was sure that would’ve traumatized her more than that time her mother hung her from her ankle from the bargain castle balcony; a lesson for giving back a piece of candy. Mal picked up the note, still not yet realizing her surroundings.
She recognized Harry’s handwriting;
‘lol, get worm’d’
Mal shot her head up, staring at her room in disgusted shock as she saw hundreds of those fabric string worms hung about her room-OH THE FUCKING GODS HE COVERED HER MIRRORS WITH STICKY NOTESTOO?! Mal let out a frustrated scream, sliding out of bed and storming over to her door, wondering how Evie hadn’t woken her up to tell her of the prank, considering Evie got up a good two hours earlier than Mal.
“HARRISON JAMES HOOK” Mal was about to scream those exact words out, but someone had beat her to it, and she realized she wasn’t the only one to be ‘worm’d’ by Harry, seeing Jane and Audrey, Uma and Eva, Lonnie and Desiree all leaning out of their rooms; foaming out the mouth as they screamed for Harry.
Uma was the first to move, her eyes and hands glowing a dangerous aqua. “WHERE IS THAT FUCK?!” Mal huffed, following after Uma with a spelled mud balloon in hand, the prankster would get what's coming to him!
-
Hidden on the other side of the school, in the security office, sat Harry Hook, accompanied by his sisters; Harriet and CJ Hook, and Evie. All were laughing hysterically at the prank they had pulled “get worm’d” Evie giggled, wiping a blackened tear from the corner of her eye “so simple, why hadn’t I thought of it before?!”
“ya’ think too intensely ‘bout everythin’ princess” Harriet purred, smirking at the flush on Evie’s cheeks “sometimes, ya’ jus’ need ta’ let it flow~” Harriet moved her hand in a way that resembled waves and Evie nodded, enraptured by the older pirate girl.
Harry continued to laugh with CJ, watching the security cameras as Uma, Mal, Lonnie, Audrey, and Jane all rushed around looking for him, Carlos, Jay, Chad, Doug, and Ben joining the hunt a moment later, having been also pranked by the pirate. “ah~ I’ll remember this moment forever~”
“you’re damn right you will” Harry slowly turned to see Uma, very pissed off, with the girls behind her as his sisters and Evie ran for their lives, Evie promising Harry she would bring him a gift in the hospital.
“uhhhh” Harry laugh/stuttered, pressing back against the desk behind him as much as he could, a sheepish grin on his lips as he attempted to bargain with his girlfriend “parley?”
-end-
I don’t even know I saw a thing and just-pffft I had to.
#disney descendants#harry hook descendants#lol get worm'd#harry hook is a prankster and no one can tell me otherwise#mal descendants#uma descendants#implied huma#implied harriet x evie#evie descendants#ficlet#less than 600 words bby~
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Boss Ghost OC: Eugène 'Pendulum' Powers
IN GAME:
- 300 hp, cycles through 4 main attacks
- WALLOP: His pocket watch/yo-yo grows in size and he straight up smacks Luigi with it
- SLEEP SPELL: an avoidable attack, he spins his yo-yo which sends a beam out towards Luigi. If hit he is put to sleep long enough for Eugène to smack him with a yo-yo. Luigi takes damage and wakes up
- INVERSION SPELL: Eugène does some weird hypnotist bullshit which causes your controls to be inverted (up=down, blow=suck etc) for a few seconds. This is a minor inconvenience that could leave you vulnerable to another attack. You cannot avoid this
- SWIRLY TORNADO: Eugène himself spins around and aims for Luigi. He's the only ghost that can spin like this and not get dizzy lol. You HAVE TO throw something at him while he's spinning like this to catch him off guard and be able to strobulb him to catch him. You do this 2 or 3 times u know the drill
STORY/CHARACTER WISE:
- Eugène is a stage hypnotist! He looks evil but really he's super sweet, he just wants to make others smile and entertain the world through his talents
- He saw one hypnotist show when he was younger and it was the funniest shit he ever seen basically. He wanted to make others laugh like that too, which led him down a rabbit hole of research into this stuff
- His powers only work if you're willing to play along, and he can't make you do anything that your mind doesn't want to do so adhjf dw he can't just make anyone do anything yknow that'd be mean. He could easily lull u to sleep tho.
- This mans has a major sweet tooth. He especially loves treats with swirls in them (cinnamon rolls, peppermints, etc)
- late 20's early 30's age wise? He probably also has such soothing voice,,, Most likely performs shows on the triplets floor on scheduled days of the week. Also he knows a lot of cool and epic yo-yo trick that he practices too. Also probably a pro at puppeteering a worm on a string
---
HUGE HUGE THANKS TO @bee-a-positive-bee wHO gave him his NAME, helped with fight stuff, helped find colors, and helped me find inspiration in general for him hsjsjd 💓 ok feel free to ask anything if u have questions or say hi to him or want a ticket to his show thnx
#look i did a thing#lm3#luigis mansion 3#lm3 ghostsona#lm3 oc#oc#ocs#is...that all the tags?#itS ALMOST MIDNIGHT at the time of writing this hello from the past lol
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W̷̧̯͈̥̬͔͓͌͊̓̄̋̾͂͘ ̷̨̪͈̋̉ ̷͔̖̦̐͘̚Ő̴̬̱͍͌̈̅͝ ̷̻͋̇̂̐͂̀̔̀ ̴̤̼̹͐́̉̓͒͠R̵͎̝͎͖̩͎̄͆̋̍̍̽ ̶̼̀̓͋̍̐́͗̉ ̸͙͔̣͔̰͕͑̈́̾͝͝M̶̢̦̟͓̯̓̏̉̏͊͝ ̸͔̮̳̫͙̐͑̇͋̊͝͝͝ ̶͓̭̙̞̮̲͎̗̯͒̚
So, by now I think some ppl are familiar with the cused concept of the Worm Kid AU where everyone its a Worm on a string™️
But as I was going to bed, possibly the most cursed thing regarding Worm Au popped in my brain.
the Worms on a Stings, are actually full on demons. So like they have a cult of Worm thing where there is this one mega Worm and they speak like the rats from the Unsleeping City (D20 gang) and for like the passed hundred years or so they have been infiltrating mortal homes as harmless play things, and when the Day of Worm(that what I'm calling it) comes they feel off the bad vibes as grow to the size of the grate Devouer pre imprisonment, so like when it bit garm when he was a kid.
And like ppl aren't taking seriously at first like.
"Oh shot my worm in evil? Should have cleaned them of there sins better lol"
"Its a fizzy little thing, the worst that can happen is shedding getting all over the city so what lol would be cheaper to clean anyway"
So Qi Xiaotian goes to Monkey King giggling telling him about the Day of Worm stuff going on and how funny it is, and Monkey King just goes rigged with a look of pure horror on his face.
"K-kid You mean The Day Of Worm r-right"
"Lol ya, lots of ppls Worm on a sting just became like alive and are doing stuff now, something 'about all becoming one' why?"
"FUCK KID THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, WE CANT LET THEM UNIFIY"
"what"
"if they unifiy where all screwed"
#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#rip a dip dip rambling#rip a dip dip wrights#worm kid on a string au#worm on a string#mk#the monkey king#dear gosh ive become invited in this
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Season 2 q&a and overall reaction
Jonny stealing everyone's names XD
Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know!
He said no;-;
ok ya, no one's gonna be ok.
Ya, he must do sooo much research.
Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.
Eyyy the mechanisms!!
What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff.
Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*
Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys.
Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool.
XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents.
Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady...
Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD
Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!"
Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official!
(Is it bad that this gives me hope)
Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics*
also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point, and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)
Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.
Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?
Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!!
Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)
Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all.
Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...
XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples.
Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.
They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-;
Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?
"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)
Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*
Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh!
Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy!
XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it!
Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3
Season 2 summary:
Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI.
I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw)
Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it.
Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)
also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕
So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???
Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing.
Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭
Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls?????
I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.
Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so.
And they were in the maze for DAYS?
Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol.
Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F
Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,
Better get started I guess.
#tma#tma lb#tma liveblog#liveblogging#tma season 2#season 2#season 2 q&a#season 2 finale#the magnus archives
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I don't know if you have any intentions about writing more of the witch!Oswald au but if you did, I'm intrigued about what kind of horrible curse Oswald can come up with lol (Edward would be so cheerful too, I can see him cackling in his corvid form while Oswald concots something evil)
Also added to Nygmobblepot Ficlet Collection on AO3
**
‘Nothing on TV?’ Ed asked.
He was sitting on the pillow, wings folded as Oswaldconjured up a window in the air. Oswald lay back once the portal displayed animage of Barbara’s house. Within the window, they could see her ranting at someonedown the phone. Oswald had muted the sound, the better to keep he and Ed’s viewingundetected. Oswald cricked his fingers and began to mutter a complex string ofwords. Ed’s feathers rose as magic began to build in the air along with anticipation.
‘I thought we would make our own entertainment tonight’,Oswald replied, pausing his litany to make a strange series of fingermovements.
Following Barbara’s humiliation of Oswald at the dinner theweek before, Ed and Oswald had both decided her disrespect could not gounpunished. So, they had researched and decided on, not a painful ordebilitating curse but rather, a spell that would make her think twice aboutcasting negative aspersions about others. If Barbara couldn’t say something nice, they would stop her saying anything atall.
Ed watched eagerly as Oswald finished the spell with aflourish and purple sparks rushed through the portal. They surrounded Barbaralike a swarm of fireflies but she didn’t seem to notice. As they vanished however, she couldn’t help but notice the effects.
Barbara suddenly retched, a black feather falling from hermouth as she struggled to speak. She coughed and more fell from between hergaping lips along with sour saliva. She dropped the phone and tried to clap ahand over her mouth, more feathers pressing against her fingers as shestaggered around, mouthing various swear words as she struggled to figure outwhat was happening.
Despite the smirk on his face, Oswald rubbed his neck empathetically,imagining the scratchy feeling of the feathers worming their way up past Barbara’stonsils. The spell was simple: any time Barbara cursed or said something nasty,the spell would take effect. The misery she was suffering was entirely her own faultfor screaming at whoever had been on the other end of the phone.
Sure enough, the tickly sensation at the back of Barbara’s throattriggered her gag reflex and the spectating man and bird made twin noises ofdisgust as Barbara began to vomit over herself: black feathers sticking to thefoul mess being expunged from her stomach.
Oswald and Ed looked at each other and burst out intohysterical laughter.Oswald’s guffaws died away and Ed’s cackling segued into a delighted avian snickeras the portal vanished with a glimmer of purple sparks.
‘That was much better than TV’, Ed said, wiping his eye witha wingtip, ‘Maybe that will teach people not to keep making the same mistake’.
Ed shivered as Oswald took hold of his wing and gently kissedthe end of one of his feathers.
‘And what mistake is that?’ Oswald whispered, taking the tipinto his mouth.
There was a bright green flash and Oswald smiled appreciativelyas he saw a very human (and very naked) Ed appear where he had been sitting asa bird a second before. He released the tip of Ed’s finger from his mouth withan audible popping noise.
‘Underestimating us’, Ed smirked, pulling Oswald closer inthe bed, enfolding him in his arms.
Oswald laughed at Ed’s playfulness and laid his head on Ed’sshoulder.
‘Do you remember when we first shared a bed?’ Oswaldwhispered, tracing a spiral pattern onto Ed’s chest fondly, ‘The day we met?’
‘I remember that you smelt awful’, Ed joked, kissing Oswald’sforehead and wincing as Oswald thumped him playfully in retaliation.
**
Ed congratulated himself on a successful day. As he flewover the buildings of Gotham, he counted the dollar bills clutched in hisclawed foot. Twenty dollars. Not bad for a quick snipe from an open cashregister. He was reflecting on the strange way that bits of paper helddifference significance for humans when he caught sight of something whiteglinting in the mouth of an open sewer pipe. Ed, his eye attuned to flashyobjects, decided to go in for a closer look.As he hovered overhead, Ed was intrigued to see the thing in the sewer pipe wasa penguin. Having seen them in Gotham Zoo and judging from the markings, heeasily identified it as the ‘Chinstrap’ species.He circled lower and examined it. It was lying on its front, breathing heavilywith its chin to the ground. It seemed to be in a state of utter exhaustion andthe reason why quickly became apparent. Blood caked its shoulder, staining its grimywhite breast a vivid red.Ed landed a couple of feet away, tucked the dollar bills under a nearby box forsafety and warily approached. He wondered if it was someone’s escaped pet or aliberated inmate from Gotham Zoo. If it had escaped and was unused to living onthe streets, it would explain the injury.As Ed crept closer, shaking his head at the stench from the pipe, the dirtsmeared penguin stirred. One abnormally pale eye flew open and Ed was forced toflutter backwards when the bird snapped at him angrily. It tried to rise butfell back down with a cry of pain.
‘Watch it!’ Ed automatically squawked, ‘I’m not going tohurt you!’
He rolled his eyes as he realised he had spoken in human.There was no way a penguin would understand that! Ed was busy trying totheorise if such an exotic species would understand him even in bird languagewhen the penguin replied to him in human.
‘Help me’, the penguin pleaded, wincing in pain, ‘Please’.
**
‘Don’t worry’, Ed said, noticing how the penguin keptglancing nervously at the door, ‘There aren’t any humans here. Most of themabandoned this place a few days ago. I think someone else has bought thebuilding’.
The room wasn’t warm (Ed had yet to figure out the finesseof using a central heating system) but at least it was dry. Once Ed was donetending to his patient, he would close the window leading to the fire escapethey had used to enter the apartment. Thankfully, the bed the penguin was lyingon had been right beside the window allowing the exhausted bird to collapsestraight onto it after the strenuous ordeal of climbing the fire escape in hiscondition. Ed was grateful they had happened upon a full rain barrel and the penguinhad been able to wash off the stinking refuse clinging to his feathers beforeentering. Just because Ed was a crow did not mean he was unhygienic.
The penguin gave a soft squawk of relief as Ed finishedextracting the last piece of magical quartz from his shoulder. Ed spat it outonto the floor and licked the blood from his beak. It tasted tangy on histongue. He cocked his head as he analysed the wound and deemed it clean. Hereached for the towel he had held under a nearby tap and with a jerk of hishead, lifted it over the penguin’s shoulder to try and clean the wound. Itwasn’t perfect but Ed didn’t know what else he could do without opposablethumbs. At least the wound seemed to have been caused by a standard ‘ballistic’spell: devoid of poison or extra, unpleasant effects.
‘How can you speak?’ the penguin asked.
‘An unforeseen side effect from scavenging from the GothamAcademy for Thaumaturgical Studies’ trash heap’, Ed said, grooming a strayfeather from the penguin’s shoulder, ‘You would not believe what those wizardsthrow out. What about you?’
‘I don’t remember’, the penguin said evasively.
Ed didn’t push the issue.
‘Are you hungry?’ Ed asked.
The penguin nodded weakly.
‘Wait here’, Ed said, flying outside.
‘I haven’t got much choice’, the penguin said dolefully,regarding its shoulder.
A few seconds later, Ed returned, a fish head in his beak purloined from one of the trash cans in the alley. He dropped it in front of the penguin but was surprised to see the bird flinch away, beak clicking distastefully at the sight.
‘I thought penguins liked fish?’ Ed said, sniffing at the head, ‘Sorry’.
‘I’m not really-’ the penguin began but then seemed to catch himself, ‘Not this kind of fish. I eat cooked food’.
Ed crooned in realization. He picked up the fish head anddropped it in the trash as he flew to the kitchen counter. He knocked a phoneoff the hook with a quick jab of his beak and began to meticulously pressbuttons with one clawed foot.
‘What are you doing?’ the penguin enquired, a note of wonderin his voice.
‘Getting cooked food’, Ed smiled, feeling gratified at bothpenguin’s impressed look and the tuneful ringing as the call connected.
**
‘How did you learn how to do that?’ the penguin asked,swallowing a shrimp.
The strange, talking crow was perched on the edge of a plastic container fullof noodles, carefully slurping one up without getting sauce on his feathers. Heclicked his beak like a pair of scissors to cut the noodle and gulped it downbefore answering.
‘Humans do it all the time. What makes it so easy is that theyspend all their time trying not to talk to other humans. They probably justthink a shut-in lives here or something’.
The penguin nodded, eyes drifting to the door once more. Thecrow’s execution of the scheme had been akin to a carefully choreographedballet. When they had heard the Chinese delivery man knock the door, the crow hadsimply passed the cash through the mailbox and asked the man to leave the foodoutside and keep the change. The man, obviously used to the arrangement hadobeyed and once his heavy footsteps had receded down the hall, the crow had jumpeddown on the door handle and pulled the food inside. Simple yet elegant andextremely effective.
‘It must be hard being a bird that can talk’, the penguinsaid, pecking at a prawn cracker.
‘Oh, I can still talk to other crows but all they ever wantto talk about is the weather’, the crow joked, ignoring the small melancholytwinge he felt at the question, ‘I guess you feel the same around other pen-’
‘Don’t you ever get lonely?’ the penguin interrupted.
‘Sometimes I suppose but not right now’.
The crow nudged the last piece of crispy chicken towards thepenguin who accepted it gratefully.
‘My name’s Ed by the way’, Ed continued, ‘It’s short for EdwardNygma’.
‘You gave yourself a surname?’
‘Why not?’ Ed said, flying up onto the bed, ‘Humans havethem and it just seemed appropriate’.
The penguin got to its own feet and gingerly waddled to joinEd on the bed. Ed noted the odd way it’s ankle turned. An old injury, Badlyhealed. The penguin had obviously led an interesting life.
‘What’s your name?’ Ed asked as the penguin lay on the bed.
‘People call me ‘Penguin’’.
‘I don’t care about ‘people’’, the crow said, nestling downbeside the penguin in an avian display of comfort and companionship, ‘What do you call yourself?’
The penguin looked away, an odd expression on his face butanswered the question.
‘Oswald. Oswald Cobblepot’.
**
It took a few weeks for Oswald to recover and, despite hisobvious sympathy for his newfound friend’s pain, Ed loved having someone to talkto. Oswald had knowledge on a surprising range of subjects and was always happyto answer any of Ed’s questions. They spent many days just watching TV anddiscussing various topics while Oswald recuperated. He healed faster than Edhad expected but when Ed had made a joke it was like magic, Oswald had notlaughed. That was when Oswald had told Ed that magic was the cause of his currentsituation. Oswald was a wizard’s familiar and his master had picked a fightwith the wrong man. His master had last been seen plummeting into Gotham Bayand Oswald had been forced to flee for his life, ending up in the sewer pipe whereEd had found him. Ed had thrilled when he had seen Oswald’s saddened expressionchange to one of desire and anger. Oswald wanted revenge and Ed was happy tohelp him get it.
**
Ed didn’t like cats so when he had heard that Oswald haddesignated one of the vile creatures as his target, he took to his part in theplan eagerly. Her name was Azrael and she was a wizard’s familiar making her more intelligent(and cruel) than the standard feline. Ed relished the challenge and so it wasthat he and Oswald infiltrated the backyard of a prestigious mansion, Oswaldslipping into the swimming pool to wait for Ed’s signal. The black Persian in question, was a highly strung and savage creature, easilyprovoked to anger by mockery. It had been child’s play for Ed to rouse the catto a vengeful fury and she had given chase, running out from the gala she andher master was attending out into the garden.As planned, Ed had landed on the edge of the swimming pool and the cat hadleapt for the bird, too focused on her prize to concentrate on the deep water.Ed had taken wing and Azrael had plummeted into the pool, vanishing beneath thewater. She emerged from the water a second later, spluttering and soaked, angerblazing in her eyes as the crow jeered and cackled from his perch atop apergola. Azrael had little time to reflect on her revenge though as she suddenlyfelt something seize her ankle and drag her back under the water. She yowledfrantically, water rushing into her gaping mouth as she began to drown, legskicking futilely. As she looked down into the depths, she saw a blurry blackand white shape beneath her and blood rising from her ankle seized in itsserrated beak.Ed watched, idly moving from foot to foot on his perch as the bubbles rising tothe pool’s surface began to dissipate, replaced by a thick cloud of blood.Followed soon afterwards by a floating, black carcass, its fur matted andshiny. While waiting for Oswald to emerge, Ed noticed a commotion inside thegala through the window and saw a crowd of concerned people surrounding a manwho had apparently collapsed onto the floor, spasming wildly. Ed knew enoughabout wizards and their familiars to know that the man was obviously Azrael’sowner, experiencing the severance of their mystic bond. Such an experience wassupposedly deeply traumatic and, from what Ed could see, obviously physicallydraining. Ed was distracted from the spectacle by Oswald emerging from thepool, white breast and face stained with fresh blood despite the water. As Edswooped down to join the penguin on the ground, Oswald spat out a gobbet ofblood. Ed pecked at it idly as Oswald wiped his beak on some nearby grass. AsEd had taken flight and Oswald had slipped back beneath the hedge to escape, Edrealised the blood had tasted the same as Oswald’s had.
**
‘You’re leaving’.
Oswald ruffled his feathers in surprise at Ed’s quietlyaccusing tone. He took his flipper from the door handle and turned slowly. Ed regardedhim from the bed, where they usually slept together. Oswald cursed himself for arrogantlythinking he had been able to sneak off without Ed noticing. Ed always noticedeverything.
‘Ed, I need to tell you something’, Oswald said, the words catchingin his throat, ‘I’m-I’m not-‘
Ed held up a wing like a human holding up an arresting handand reached beneath the mattress. He withdrew a newspaper clipping in his beakand flew closer, showing it to Oswald.
Oswald scanned it and sighed heavily. It discussed how Galavanhad toppled the fearsome wizard known as ‘Oswald Cobblepot’ AKA ‘The Penguin’ bydefeating him in a wizard’s duel. Following the duel, Oswald had fled, jumpinginto the river to escape justice and remained at large. There was a photographof Galavan smiling for the camera. A black Persian rested in his lap.
‘So, you can read too’, Oswald observed drily, ‘Of courseyou can’.
‘I already know everything’, Ed said, lowering the clipping,‘So you may as well show me’.
Oswald nodded resignedly and spoke the necessaryincantation. He gave a cry and doubled over. Ed moved forward, concerned butOswald held up a flipper to stop him interfering with the process.As Ed watched, Oswald’s flippers split into long fingers and his head feathersmoulted into a crest like head of black, spiky hair. His back arched as his legslengthened and the webbing between his toes vanished. His beak receded into a pallid,human face and his avian croon evolved into a human moan at the strain of the transformation.His feathers fell from his growing body, bathing his lean frame in a cloak ofblack and white feathers that drifted from his body onto the floor.Only his eyes remained the same: pale green and intense.As the change ended, Oswald remained kneeling amidst a pool of monochrome feathers,shivering as he looked at Ed, naked regret on his face. He turned and showed Edhis shoulder. A dark, bruise like mark was all that remained of the bulletwound. Ed said nothing, just stared and after a few seconds, Oswald got to his feet.He staggered, his bad leg spasming. Catching himself on a nearby chair, he spreadhis pale arms wide and clothing materialised on his body: a long, black cloakover a stylish black suit with the only piece of colour a purple gem set intohis tie pin.
Completing his transformation, he stood, awaiting Ed’s reaction.
‘Why kill thecat?’ Ed asked, ‘Not that I’m complaining’.
‘I needed her blood’, Oswald explained, touching hisshoulder, ‘Because of the injury, I didn’t have enough magic to change back onmy own. How long have you known?’
‘Since I picked that stuff out of your shoulder. I tastedthe magic in your blood. Saw right through the feathers’.
‘I’m sorry Ed’, Oswald said quietly.
‘For what?’ Ed asked, cocking his head in surprise.
‘I thought you would be angry with me for lying to you’.
Ed gave an odd cackling noise but Oswald now knew him well enoughto recognise laughter when he heard it.
‘You didn’t lie’, Ed shrugged his feathered shoulders, ‘Crowsdon’t put much stock in appearances. Penguin or man: you’re still Oswald to me.My friend’.
Oswald smiled gratefully and undid his tie pin. He pried theamethyst loose and set it on the kitchen counter at Ed’s feet.
‘I want you to have this’, Oswald said, ‘For yourcollection. As proof of our friendship and as thanks for your help’.
‘Tempting but no’.
Oswald blinked, confused at Ed’s refusal of the shiny bauble.The sizeable collection of shimmering knick-knacks in Ed’s nest had made Oswaldthink that Ed would appreciate the jewel. Then again, it didn’t seem to coverall that Ed had done for him.
‘Is there anything else I can do to repay you?’ Oswaldasked, trying to think of any relevant spells to give Ed whatever he might askfor.
‘Take me with you. As your familiar’.
Oswald felt his heart leap at the request but concerntarnished his happiness.
‘Are you sure?’ Oswald asked, ‘It’s going to be dangerous’.
Ed flew from the table and perched on Oswald’s shoulder.Oswald smiled at how right it felt. How naturally Ed fit with him. Birds of a feather.He sighed happily as Ed nuzzled into his neck, the soft feathers warm againsthis chilled skin.
‘I think you mean ‘exciting’’, Ed smirked, ‘Shallwe? Master?’
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