#local bisexual with adhd who cannot care about himself almost got sensory overloaded but his insecure gay boyfriend saved the day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catdoingblep · 9 months

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Ok, it is around 1000 words of wesper carrying for each other (ft. Jesper being almost sensory overloaded, Wylan’s insecure thoughts and cold weather in Ketterdam)

Few months ago Wylan wouldn’t have believed if someone had told him that he will feel himself safe in the Crow Club. Few months ago he also wouldn’t have come to the Crow Club in a first place.

He was thinking that it's a dangerous place. He still was thinking that it's a dangerous place but somehow presence of Jesper in the club even with them being at the different sides of the room made Wylan felt himself safer than if he was upstairs in their room alone.

Safe enough to make calculations for Kaz’s new order in the middle of the club in the Barrel.

Maybe too safe as he did’t notice Kaz until Kaz’s cane touches his shoulder.

“Take him out”, cawed Kaz as Wylan looked at him.

“What?”

“Jesper. Take him out”, repeated Kaz. “Upstairs, outside, I don’t care. I don’t want him to do something that can scare the pigeons”.

Wylan looked for Jesper in the crowd to see him at the bar. He was sitting but Wylan could see how he’s constantly moving a bit, playing with his rings and earrings, touching his guns, staring somewhere off the side. There was a strange tension in his movements, and maybe all between them was still fragile and new but Wylan had already learnt what all these signs means.

That Jesper was unstable and tired, like his mind was exhausting itself. That soon all this restless energy would make him nervous, overwhelmed, irritated by every sound and touch, and then he would explode.

“Do I need to repeat again, Hendriks?”, said Kaz raising his eyebrow as like he didn’t understand why Wylan was still here.

Wylan shook his head, hiding papers with calculations in one of his vest’s pockets, and went to the bar, trying to avoid any contact with noisy and drunk club visitors.

Jesper even didn’t notice him with his restless mind too away from the club.

“Jes?”, called Wylan, touching his shoulder as light as he could.

Jesper flinched in surprise, smiling confusedly for a second, before he stretched his mouth into a slightly fake wide smile.

“Did you finish your work, sunshine?”, he asked with a hint of weariness in his voice.

“I think, I need some air”, lied Wylan. Jesper would never agree that he needs a break like no one ever taught him to take care of himself. If Wylan said that Jesper seems tired, he would try to distract Wylan with a joke or lie that he is completely fine. “Do you want to go outside?”

“Just to be sure no one will try to steal my gorgeous man”, smiled Jesper, jumping up from his barstool. Wylan felt himself starting to blush.

Jesper grabbed Wylan’s hand and headed up to the exit with tensed shoulders, maneuvering through the crowd, obviously trying not to touch anyone except Wylan accidentally.

Outside was relatively quiet as it was a time in between of very late night and very early morning. One of the lanterns in front of club was out again, making street a little bit darker than Wylan expected.

It also was cold and windy, and Wylan’s old jacket wasn’t doing anything with it properly. There was even a frost on the paving stones, and Wylan almost wanted to return back.

Almost, because outside Jesper was slowly relaxing like the relative calm of the night street was calming his nerves. It was worth a little freezing if you asked Wylan.

They was silent, and Wylan started to thinking about the project for Kaz again, and went too deep inside his mind because next thing he noticed was Jesper’s coat covering his shoulders.

“You are shivering”, said Jesper when Wylan looks at his face. He still looked tired but his voice sounded calmer.

“And what about you?”, asked Wylan trying to take the coat off while Jesper was trying to make him keep it on.

“And I will not wake up tomorrow with a cold”, reminded Jesper. “And if you return it, I won’t put it back - and we both will freeze”.

Wylan rolled his eyes but allowed Jesper to close few buttons. Jesper’s coat was obviously too long for him, but it was way more warmer than his jacket.

“Do you want to walk around?”, asked Wylan after few moments of silence.

“Walk around”, repeated Jesper with a shadow of amusement in his voice. “In the Barrel. At the late night. I don’t know if you noticed but we are not in the one of that fancy districts there people are walking around. You know, Barrel is a dangerous place”.

“I am pretty aware of it”, said Wylan with all the stiffness he could put in his voice, and Jesper laughed.

“Is it so, gorgeous?”, asked Jesper, and there was so much tenderness in his voice that Wylan felt himself lightheaded.

“But I will be with the best sharpshooter in the Barrel”, continued Wylan. “And you will be with the best demo expert in this city”.

“So you are the best in whole city, and I am just the best in the Barrel, so sad”, sighed Jesper feignedly.

“What can I do?”, smiled Wylan. “There is no one better than me”.

He knew that it is not true. There was the voice of his father in his head, saying “What do you think you are, Wylan? Like everything can overshadow that you are such an idiot”. But it was easy to pretend with Jesper. To act like he was really worth something. Like it didn’t matter who he is and what he can and cannot do. So easy to pretend that he was valuable, that someone as brilliant as Jesper Fahey could love him, that he could be… whoever and whatever Jesper was seeing in him.

Like he could be himself, be just Wylan, and it would be enough.

“No one better than you”, echoed Jesper so quietly that Wylan wasn’t sure he didn’t make it up.

He took the hand Jesper offered, and for a moment he was feeling himself maybe not the smartest like Kaz, not the bravest like Nina, not the worthiest like Inej but definitely the luckiest person in whole Kerch.

#local bisexual with adhd who cannot care about himself almost got sensory overloaded but his insecure gay boyfriend saved the day #ft. their emotionally constipated friend #they are soft comforting husbands your honor and i can prove it #kaz brekker: I don't want to say that I care about jesper so I will say that I don't want him to scare the pigeons #jesper fahey has adhd #it is just around 1000 words of me projecting my adhd and sensory overloads on jesper...#i am not a writter but I had this scene of them outside of the crow club in my mind #show!wesper #jesper fahey wearing earrings agenda #my crows hyperfixation is still in the same room with me #shadow and bone #six of crows #grishaverse #wylan van eck #mention of jan van eck #jesper fahey #wesper #wylan van sunshine #jesper x wylan #kaz brekker #gunpowder

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