one of the things about having an unstable parent is that it can so easily ruin your future. you want to get out, but getting out takes having agency. it takes the resume and the grades and the stellar community service history.

but you have to choose your battles. you know if you sign up for an after-school activity, it'll be okay for a while, so long as the activity is parent-approved and god-fearing. over time, like all things, it will become an argument (i can't keep carting your ass to these things) or a weapon (talk to me like that again, see if you get to go to practice). sometimes, if you love the thing, it's worth it. but you also know better than to love something: that's how they get you. if you ever actually want something, it will always be the center of their attention. they will never stop threatening you with it. telling you of course i'm a good parent, i came to all of those stupid events.

you learn to balance yourself perfectly. you can either have a social life or you can have hobbies. both of these things will be under constant scrutiny. you spend too much time with her, you should be at home with family is equally paired with you're acting like this because you're addicted to what's on that goddamn screen. you cannot ever actually win, so everything falls within a barter system that you calculate before entering: do you want to learn how to drive? if so, you'll need to give up asking for a new laptop, even though yours died. maybe you can work on a computer at the library. of course, that would mean you'd be allowed to go to the library, which would mean something else has to bleed. nothing ever actually comes free.

and that bitter, horrible irony: you could be literally following their orders and it still isn't pretty. they tell you to get a job; they hate that your job keeps you late and gives you access to actual money. they tell you to do better in school; they say no child of mine needs a tutor. they want you to stop being so morose, don't you know there are people who are really suffering - but they revile the idea you might actually need therapy.

you didn't survive that fall the way other people would. you've seen other people scramble and get their way out, however they could. maybe you were made too-soft: the answer didn't come to you easily. it wasn't quick. it was brutal and nasty. some people even asked you why didn't you just work hard and escape during school? and you felt your head spinning. why didn't you? (they control your financial aid. they control your loan status. they love having that kind of thing). maybe in another life you got diagnosed sooner and got the meds you needed to actually focus and got attention from the right teachers who helped you clear hurdles to get up out of here - but for now? here?

the effort of trying. the effort of not-dying. that kind of effort was absolutely agonizing.

the theerapanyakul kids: how close are you with each other?

loan’s kinnporsche 2nd anniversary: favourite familial relationship: the theerapanyakul kids (insp: ½+½)

Money Badger strikes again!!

nnnn my oven has been turning itself off every time I try to cook something for the past 2 days. I have no idea how to even begin diagnosing shit or even how to find the air vents and shit since its embedded into a wall.

I do not want to replace another major appliance in this damn house

Guess who's got a new apartment?? It me! 🥰🏡 If all goes according to plan I get the keys on April 1st (not a joke hopefully lol) and then I'll do a bit of light renovating first before I move in! It's a little bigger than my current place and right on the edge of the park, so plenty of greenery and no more downstairs restaurant and city noise and most importantly NO MORE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOURS since it's on the top floor 😭 I can't wait to sleep, holy shit

"....I love you guys so much. You're gonna solve this entire corruption-horror-murder mystery arc by applying for a fucking mortgage."

DM Who Needs To Stop Expecting The Party To Do Things Like “Breaking And Entering” or “Just Killing The Dudes” Like A Normal D&D Party

Wanna trade cats goddamn

yeah take em

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people still calling biden a 'lesser evil' like can you point out to me what part of everything he has done is in any way 'lesser' ?

YEEESSSS I GOT THE ENROLMENT APPROVED EMAIL IM GOIN BACK TO UNI

me internally when i’m trying to respect and recognise that my dad has unaddressed autism that impacts the way he handles social interractions while also trying to not just excuse the shitty insensitive behaviour that has absolutely contributed to my mental health issues

i might have to join my naija brothers and sisters in the u.k. bc this is becoming too much

Holy FUCK my mental health is bad rn

whenever people start talking about a show being lost because theres nowhere to watch it on streaming and stuff everyone is always like “wow have these people never heard of piracy” which like, yeah, but also. have these people heard of DVDs and libraries

Plz tell me how you got diagnosed with autism? I defiantly have symptoms but don’t want to assume ):

i could sit here and tell you to drop thousands of dollars on a formal assessment or hundreds of dollars each on therapy sessions, but i will tell you a secret instead. u are not harming anyone at all by assuming you have autism without having a formal diagnosis. i promise it isnt as big of a deal as you think it is and anyone who tells you otherwise is uneducated

I'm realizing I've just been sitting around the house for like five months going back to school is Needed