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creedslove · 7 months

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I literally hate deuxmoi with all my heart. They always spread misinformation about celebrities from random people who can easily fake things. Like a while ago a person said to deuxmoi that Pedro was their neighbor and he was living with his girlfriend there cause he was filming something and they said how Pedro was always so rude and called him an as*hole psycho (like bffr) and he always shouted at them for parking near his house. Like what??? What’s the reason for posting things like this when you don’t even know if these are true and putting in the shadow a celebrity, someone like Pedro who has worked his ass off to get where he is after 30 years of acting. Like seriously, what’s the reason? Now this pregnancy rumor and him and Bella not talking to each other??? Wtf is wrong with people cmon now. I personally don’t believe the pregnancy thing either the beef with him and Bella (or whoever the other costar is)

Anon this is gonna be the last ask I reply about gossip about his personal life, just because I don't like this kind of content in my blog, the only reason I replied to that first one it was just TOO bizarre not to

I have no idea where these info come, as deuxmoi states: some of them are real and some are bullshit, just like Hugh Jackman's divorce, if someone had told me he would divorce his wife I would've laughed my ass off but turns out it was true.

These rumors are either true or false, there's no in-between, if they are false that's great if they are true also nothing to be done.

An accidental pregnancy could happen to anyone, regardless of both parts wanting a baby or not, and well, in January I saw some sketchy gossip websites saying Liev Schreiber (my former crush lmao) was going to be a dad again and I just shrugged it off because I was sure he wouldn't have a kid and well, his baby is about two months old now 🥴

The pregnancy thing could honestly fit half of Hollywood, I guess people are projecting too much on it because of the constant speculations of his sexuality; idk if Pedro is queer, honestly, he probably is, my guess is that he is bi so having a girlfriend and going out with men wouldn't be impossible to happen just as accidentally knock someone up

***AGAIN, THIS IS JUST ME AND MY SPECULATION AND I WON'T KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT THIS SO PLS DONT SEND ANY MORE ASKS ABOUT THIS SUBJECT***

idk like, I feel some part of it holds onto this rumor with hope he isn't dating another guy (who's way too ugly for him in my opinion btw lmao) while other people are just so into the idea of him being "gay" they treat it almost as a fetish making up conspiracy theories to prove it obsessively, to the point they can't see him STANDING next to another man they are sure they are together, i mean wtf (yes I'm talking about that ugly bitch from tiktok)

Now, about him and Bella, idk I guess everything is possible, sometimes you get angry with people you love the most and you need a break from them, or sometimes you just drift apart from someone you like when you don't work with them anymore, things just change, your routine changes you know? For example, there's always that one co-worker or classmate whatever you used to like a lot, but once you don't see each other all the time anymore you grow apart, you might still like the person but you aren't on the same vibe anymore so honestly, all these rumors can be true or they cannot be true

and even the neighbor thing could be true because like, everyone is entitled to be angry sometimes and especially at neighbors lmao

what we need to do is to remember that pedro is a human being, apart from being an amazing person he's still got faults like everyone else so yeah, the rumors can be true or not true like I said before, what we really need to think is: does it even matter?

You will be less of a fan if he has a secret girlfriend and got her pregnant or if he has a boyfriend? if he isn't friends with Bella anymore?

Honestly, to me he's is so unproblematic I don't really see why anything around him needs to turn into a fuss, he can date whoever he wants, fight or befriend whoever he wants, it simply doesn't change my life, at the end of the day I still need to bury myself in a job I don't even like to earn enough to survive lmaof that's way more dramatic to me than any of those gossip combined together 🤷🏻‍♀️

And once more: no matter if you besties agree or disagree, please don't send me any more asks about it because I'll not reply to them. Enough with gossip/drama ❤️

#ask #answered

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jmblyajones · 3 years

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Eagles: Lost 3x8

Guys I’m literally shaking right now…

Show of hands, who thought Eagles would go there though??

1. Why is Elias in a bathe robe like he left town to live in a lighthouse, skip rocks and contemplate life like an old man?

2. Wow so Jack made that whole statement anonymously? He is an even bigger coward (trying to stay politically correct with that insult) than I thought! Stand by your shit since you want to run your mouth. Ugh I can’t.

3. Mats saying he can’t deal with Felicia…. if only he knew that her catching him sleeping with another woman is what drove her to overdose. You want the family to jump for you meanwhile your ass was running around like a ‘giddy geese’ in other women’s panties… gtfo.

Elias is the only mature one…

I knooooooow little miss do nothing is not talking. News flash Lelia, y’all got some major issues that have been swept under the rug and molding like some month old pot pie, CLEARLY. Man her face acting all nonchalant. I’m so over the ADULTS not wanting to get to the root of the issues. This is not just Felicia being a teenager complains about “nothing”, this is gaslighting and denial.

4. I really hope Ludde doesn’t miss out on this London opportunity because of Jack’s false accusations. They should figure out how to sue for Libel.

5. My theories about Amie, Michael and Petra were ass wild lmaoo. But I like Amie confronting Michael. Hopefully her and Petra can repair their strained relationship. Amie said “blah blah blah” yes babes! I’m sad now. They always come crawling when you’re famous.

I know Michael isn’t about to start crying rn. 18 years?? You had 18 years and we are all supposed to believe now you want to be a father? That is hella suspect especially with knowing Petra was right all along.

6. I feel bad for people like Ludde who believe they have no power to fight back.

7. I’m so happy to see Amie songwriting again.

Amie and Petra got me crying in the club! Like damn I really can’t stop this waterfall from my eyes right now. I love that Amie told her mom that she was enough. Petra is loosing it now too?? Oh lawd

8. Elias going out of his mind trying to find Felicia meanwhile Mats is too busy worried about his own image. Disgusting.

9. This bar man started speaking another language on em… chile. And people believe literally everything they read. He is really over here spitting in beers.

10. Y’all see how Elias was about to bypass Lelia to see if Amie was home lmao. This boy is panicked. Leila and and Petra finally meeting, interesting. This situation (especially for parents) lends compassion so of course this was not gonna be “a moment”.

11. I’m glad Ludde messaged the people for his application but he couldn’t put a little more info? Idk, “the allegations against me are false thanks” seems so minimal.

12. Mats and Leila looking onto the ocean and falling apart got me crying again wtf.

I’m mad because it should have never gotten to that point for them. Even knowing when they were in America Felicia had drug problems, that doesn’t just go away because she had her stomach pumped and y’all moved to another continent.

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inmyarmswrappedin · 3 years

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hey ardi, because of all this discourse happening right now I wanted to ask you what all the problems with wtfocklockdown were or are? I did not watch wtfock or their lockdown, thought the idea was cool though.

I have read some stuff but not having watched it myself I did not want to form an opinion but the stuff I heard was very yikes?

Wtfock even pressuring wtfock isak into cyber sex? Some love triangle between wtfock Willhelm?

Also another question I have. Why does Kato season 4 exist? I thought they already filmed stuff for yasminas season? And they wanted to use that for her season? But it does not seem like that happened? So why season 4?

Hi anon 🪀 I didn't watch wtfockdown, so I can hardly be considered an expert on it tbh lol. I also thought it was an interesting idea, I definitely prefer the wtfockdown approach to what eskam did. (I.e postponing s4 and then pretending it took place in a covid-less spring 2020.) Unfortunately, and this is my major issue with wtf, I just don't think the wtf writers are good writers. Or mediocre writers. I think they're actively bad writers. And so they got a unique chance to do something new with the Skam characters outside of the NRK contract constraints, and they unsurprisingly squandered it.

They didn't develop Yasmina (who at the time was supposed to be the next main) beyond the two traits we already knew about her: she doesn't drink and she has a crush on someone who lives in Morocco, a crush that was later forgotten about. Amber and Aaron got some plot about sending dick pics, Robbe and Sander got some plot about cyberboning that took up the largest part of wtfockdown, and Senne got a 5-minute girlfriend (played by a dark-skinned black actress who barely got any plot beyond being the interloper) that made Zoë jealous and want to date Senne again. I think those were basically all the storylines, like I know they announced Jana would be moving to NYC/leaving the show, and I know Milan and Luca also showed up but they didn't get actual storylines. I can't think of a single zoenne shipper who thought that sl was good, and I know Robbe/Sander shippers loved the cyberboning plot, but for me, it all just seemed like a waste of a unique opportunity.

I don't think there's a good answer as to why Kato's season exists. Like it probably has to do with behind the scenes stuff that we can only make conjectures about or assume the crew that talks to the fans isn't intentionally feeding those fans false info. My guess is that they wanted Yasmina's season to take place during Ramadan (Elias invites Aaron and the girls over because it's Ramadan, so there's that I suppose), but they needed or wanted to fill TV time in the fall. I'm pretty sure Kato's season aired on tv as well, but some Belgian correct me if I'm wrong. Or maybe they wanted to have five girls for Yasmina's season, and since Jana's actress was leaving, they thought they'd introduce the fifth girl by giving her a season. What's pretty clear to me is that they didn't have a ton of ideas about what to do with Kato, like I'm pretty sure making her an influencer who's popular on tiktok was those boomers' idea of what Gen Z is like, and making Moyo her LI and attempting to deal with racism (lmao) were a response to fandom begging for a Moyo season (that would feature Robbe and Sander ofc) dealing with the BLM protests and racism in Belgium. I have to say I've always wanted a Skam to do a dance season, AND for one of the mains to be a twin, so I'm highkey buttmad that wtf incorporated those two elements to such a shitty season.

I'm sure they initially thought they could salvage some of the stuff they'd shot in 2020 for Yasmina's season in 2021, but I think in the end they didn't use any of it because they realized they needed to make changes here and there. Like for starters they wouldn't be able to use any scenes with Jana because the actress was long gone.

#ask #wtfock #Anonymous #as usual I just feel like the wtf writers have such a shortsighted idea of gen z #as sex obsessed addicted to social media shallow and vapid #and so those are the only ideas they are able to come up with that they didn't grab from skam or another remake #oh and they also think that gen z is up on its high horse about various forms of oppression #to the point of being omg so meaaaaaaaan to the writers #and I feel that idea of theirs has been the driving force behind s5

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spookybias · 3 years

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1. Aespa came back with their very 1st mini album! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 I'm so proud of them and I finally decided to Stan them! I didn't really like them at first because of their concept with the avatar things but after going through aespa brainrot I learned that not only are they CRAZY TALENTED WTF but also they are very precious girls! I'm ot4 since I STILL CANT PICK A BIAS PLS IM IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM 😭😭😭😭😭😭💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💗💗💗💕💕 did you hear their title track yet? What did you think of it?

2. You can tag me as Alex and emoji is optional!

Your present has arrived! tehe🤭😊

i remember when aespa was announced around the same time as enha and everyone was like "HUH?" 'cause it was so out of blue and lowkey looked like sm was trying to compete with hybe. and then when everyone found out their avatar concept it was even more confusion and a lot of false info being spread 😭 so many people hated it at first. it was wild. speaking of enha, did you hear the song previews? which one is your favorite atm? for me, it's track 4 which idk the title of because there's no korean translation. a few people told me it's "i don't know" or "i didn't know" but IDK (see what i did there? 😁)

about aespa's tt, yes, i did hear it! i don't keep up with aespa, but my friend was talking about the song to me, so i decided to check it out so i had an idea of what they were referring to 🤣 the song isn't really my cup of tea. the chorus is a masterpiece, but i don't vibe with the rest of the song 😔

also WHY DO ALL 3 PICTURES HAVE THE SAME CONCEPT KIND OF LMAO

#𖣠 . . mail #𖣠 . . alex 💕

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weishenkun · 3 years

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Ppl were saying fendi only invited ten and they stuck lc there but what about yy? Iirc he was there too so they put him there on purpose as well or they won’t mention him because he’s not the one in trouble here? I’m not trying to give an attitude but if it sounds of it I’m really sorry. Idk there’s so much back and forth and ngl to that hardcore cbar fan and revealing all that info, if you saying he was such an a-hole throughout his entire career you didn’t bother leaving his fandom earlier and saying nothing? Idk that really irks me that this only came out because of what has been happening. Idk if you agree with me but I want to rant and I have so much to rant about but idk who to turn. Everything is being picked about from the littlest thing he has done or said and ppl are saying those interviews the 3 groups he in esp wayv ones have done were they praise him all must be fake. We don’t know his side of the story and in honest truth we will never know because how these things are handled through the west and Asian entertainment is so different. But I have I guess I have some reservations about what one of the victims said because of apparently who she is and it has made me think about some things. I still believe he was wrong for some of the things he has done because he needs to understand cheating and manipulation isn’t good. Idk idk idk my heart is heavy and people using this as a lololol ahahah moment to his fan community hurts too like going on and on how all along he was a douche and they always knew and we didn’t. And honestly I feel like there has been so much bandwagon hopping on the hate train because before this most ppl apart from the wayv fandom didn’t give a two cent shit about wayv. They never cared when sm mistreated them or that they got scrapings and were not treated like how 127 or dream were treated. But suddenly everyone who has never cared is up and arms about him in the group because when wayv is going to do their next projects I want to see if all these ppl are going to be cheering them on as loud about you cheering on about what’s going on currently. like I can guarantee you won’t watch an interview or stream their music. And there has been this post going around about what was revealed yesterday and it was about that cat and someone said to the girl well he didn’t give you the cat cause you ain’t his fav and she’s like go ask him on bubble cause that wasn’t what he told me yesterday and idk what it even means because everyone is jumping on it and going lololol he’s still in contact after the apology. Idk she had said it sarcastically and Idk if she’s being truthful or not but everyone is adamant he is still doing all this regardless. And honestly IF he did do that and you let him contact you like that i feel like it’s on her esp since everything has been going on for days. He was dumb for all of this and rn his entire career isn’t surviving so I can’t even tell if she is serious or not and given how this is going on I can’t imagine his devices not being taken away from him cause that’s dumb or someone watching him like a fucking hawk cause I would. Cause on top of everything ppl are saying he mistreats the animals/pets and it’s like wtf is going on?! Oh And with the surfing coach confirming they didn’t flirt but were just friendly, you could have said something earlier but did nothing for hours until you were asked directly because everyone was saying she’s number 5 but apparently in reality she wasn’t but you let it go on. Everything is plaguing me rn and I have so much more to talk about but I’m just so frustrated.

okay this is a long ask so let me just go through each point

1. i saw the fendi story and yeah, yangyang was there too but people are more 'forgiving' towards him cause hes not badmouthing other members like allegedly lucas is. also, labelv was basically trying to get more members into the thing than the organizer originally wanted to, so yangyang, since hes less popular, is pretty logical but lucas? really? he had his own shit almost always so what was the point

2. about that hardcore cbar fan, true, they did only come out with the rant after the stories came out but like they said - they were a hardcore fan. probably theres some money involved or even it was just ignoring stuff cause youre a fan. we did know about most of the things they mentioned, it was just over a long period of time so there were big gaps between each of the incidents and people forgot? idk

3. i agree, there's been a lot of analysis of every little thing he did, but like i said earlier - it was happening over a long period of time and people were blaming it on idk, the culture or the lack of knowledge of some language. now, when theres a chance it could be something more, because of the alleged badmouthing, people will bring that stuff up 🤷‍♀️

4. he had a chance to say something in the apology letter. he said literally nothing instead :D

5. there has been a lot of bandwagon hopping on the hate but theres also been a lot of just straight up ignoring everything. i saw a fan acc on twitter share a list of translators so the fans could block those, cause they've been spreading false news 🤡 like, he was trending for days so people will get interested in whats going on and they will have opinions, thats how world works. and yeah no one will give a single fuck about future wayv project for example but i just hope it will be because they wont care and not because there wont be any future wayv projects :DDDD cause wayv was never big lol, lets be realistic, and this scandal isnt helping them at all and also the fact its happening right when there's that social media/fans campaign going on, i think its even worse :D

6. the bubble thing... labelv isnt the brightest so idk if its that unrealistic. and i think theres the other girl who also said he was calling them non stop when they released their story so idk idk lol

7. wheres the cat :/ we all saw the pic of him getting it, i think i reblogged it with something like 'omg omg ot11 soon' lmao and we havent seen it ever since. it is weird, just like in general. i want to know wheres the cat

8. the coach 🤡🤡🤡 idk idk her story was weird but i think it made another person release their story so thanks i guess :DDD even if he didnt flirt with her, wow, omg, hes so brave for this, wow, bare minimum :)

okay i think i went through everything, thanks for letting me write a whole essay back to you, i will call it an english practice in my brain 😍

#ask #i had to copy this ask to notepad and make parts from it to answer it lmao #thank god i love writing my hot opinions here #not beta'd

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youngbugandtonystank · 4 years

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oh my god I DIDNT KNOW ROBERT WAS CHANGING HIS MIND ABOUT COMING BACK FTSFHWJV GIRL WTF HOW LONG HAVE U KNOWN???? DO YOU THINK THE DIRECTORS WOULD BRING HIM BACK?????

I’m also going to answer this ask:

How you do know so much about the mcu? Are you an undercover disney employee or smth? lol how come no one talks about those things on twitter? no one seems to care about how things are truly said.. stan twtt only likes drama instead of facts smh

Because they’re kinda similar.

You guys need to watch and read interviews more often. I always check to see how he is doing with the Iron Man thing. You guys should do it too without getting the info/opinion from Twitter lmao sometimes that bird app warps some of your perspectives and makes yall think that everything is obtuse, foreseen, and predictable. I’ve seen some of you think and say the same things, like robots (no offense yall lmao), it’s almost like guys think someone is going to judge you if you don’t have the same opinion as Trudie, Susan Rae, or JohnTrueSpideyFan89 from Twitter. Inform yourselves of these things, you’ll find more peace with everything related to your favorite movies. I’ve had anons telling me that they had no idea of any of the stuff I’ve been sharing, that some social media accs have been doing them dirty and giving them false information. So, learn how to form opinions by not taking twitter into the equation all the time, alright? I’m not old but I felt old giving this advice lmaooooooo

And yes, actually, it was one of the Russo brothers that said that there’s a possibility of bringing him back:

I mean look it, certainly we’ve always said this and we believe this about stakes have to be real, and if they’re not real, like the audience’s emotional investment in the moment and in those characters in the narrative is only…is contingent upon them feeling like there’s potential, there’s something to be lost. So in all of our storytelling, even though those Marvel movies a lot of the story was difficult, we wanted to commit very hard to that idea. So to answer your question, I think it would be in the context of that. It depends on how he was brought back. It depends on the storytelling, but it is certainly something that has to be earned. It’s certainly something that would shock and surprise audiences, so you can’t simply just bring him back. There would have to be a really compelling, innovative, unpredictable narrative event to find your way there in order for it to be worth it. -Anthony Russo.

So, IF it happens, we’re going to have to wait for a long time. Maybe we’ll get to see him again in 2024 lmaooo but like I said, it’s RDJ’s decision at the end of the day.

#robert downey jr #tony stark #iron man #marvel #mcu #twitter #Anonymous

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klarolinedrabbles · 5 years

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What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way.

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline’ trended ww on twitter.

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing.

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it.

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why.

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane.

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear.

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab.

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it.

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat.

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao.

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid.

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend.

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes.

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

#Stephanie talks fandom #klaroline #Anonymous

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika??????

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack... satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest

KILLUA ;_;

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_;

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^(

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique?

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS:

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao

as for this upcoming arc - ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

#excited 2 see moreeee #lj watches hxh #hxh

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podcastlimbo · 5 years

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Happy lizard kissin’!! Sorry I’m on A.I. loving bullshit rn but I was at a concert the other day and an idea for a fic popped into my head bear with me (this isn’t a fic fic it’s more scattered thoughts with some writing thrown in lmao hope y'all enjoy reading anyways?)

So it takes place in the modern Second Citadel au where everyone’s a suffering musician

I was racking my brain as to how Damien and Arum would have their first meeting bc I already wrote Arum and rillas and I think I figured it out!!

So Damien’s got some violin recital coming up and he needs to find an accompanist

He asks around his circle of musician buddies and Rilla suggests this dude Arum who comes by her music store sometimes and looks through piano books (and he’s a decent player too) and Damien is like,, why not and thus everything is arranged

But then Damien gets jitters b4 the practice since he’s never worked with a complete stranger in such a long time what if they’re completely incompatible and the recital is ruined?? Or it’s super awkward?? Damien has imposter syndrome like nobody’s business what if this super talented pianist sees through him for the sham he is??? And what would Rilla think if he didn’t get along with their mutual acquaintance??

By the time he’s able to center himself again he realizes he’s running super late and just flies into a panic again and rushes to the practice place

He’s like.. oh god the pianist can’t see me like this and covers up his anxiety with good ol false bravado

When Arum sees the violinist he’s supposed to be accompanying running into the practice room 15 minutes late and begin ordering him around inside he’s thinking ‘who the hell does this dude think he is wtf’ and they begin bickering immediately

Damien insists the Arums playing is overpowering his violin and Arum accuses Damien’s violin game of being WEAK AF

They keep finding faults in each others playing. They’ve been in there for an hour but they haven’t even played through the whole piece once.

(They’re playing this Mozart thing I heard at the concert can’t find it now but I’ll probably attach it later lol)

The entire piece through they’re just glaring at each other Damien is sawing away on the violin and Arum is slamming his hands on the keys it’s bad

In the brief times when one of them takes a break from playing the other immediately switches to virtuoso mode and tries to outperform the other

Arum had heard this piece before. Hell, he had accompanied more a few violinists who played this exact concerto. Violinists who had shown none of the attitude the way this.. Damien, did. I mean, who exactly did he think he was, marching in late, as if he owned the place, questioning his playing, his merit as a musician, when he himself played with the grace and subtlety of a stampeding elephant?

Such thoughts were running through his head, until the solo. The solo.

For some info this is the solo that requires the violinist to delay the resolution of the piece for minutes. and the piece just REFUSES to resolve. As for Damien, he’s finally able to pay attention to the music and is just completely in the zone

When he started the solo, Arum lifted his hands from the keys, reaching automatically for the phone he left on the bench beside him, but stopped when he finally registered not what the violinist was playing (that he had heard too many times to count), but how he was playing it

It’s a peculiar experience, watching a fellow musician play. So often you’re so absorbed in the music, that you don’t notice how you move along with the passages run up and down. You don’t notice your furrowed brow, the way you bite your upper lip in concentration. The beads of sweat that form on your forehead at particularly difficult runs. The way your eyes subconsciously slip closed, as you play phrases practiced so often that they ring in your dreams. The ebbs and flows of your body as it shifts with every gracile movement of your bow.

Arum is entranced by Damien’s playing. He can’t help it really. He finds himself holding his breath when the violinist veers close to a perfect cadence, releasing it in a frustrated huff when he modulates to another key.

They’re both breathless. Damien’s fingers are dancing across the violin’s fingerboard feverishly, and Arum can’t breathe as he watches, as he listens to the notes traveling higher and higher

And he almost misses his final cue, as the piece draws to its inevitable conclusion. With a start, Arum is brought back to reality, and with all the strength he can muster, he plays the final chords that intermingle perfectly with Damien’s. Five seven one. And even though the final notes are lost to the room’s sound-sucking walls, they seem to echo in the minds of both pianist and violinist

Until all that is left is silence

Their glances catch for a moment, but to them it feels like an eternity

Damien is the first to look away. He hastily keeps his instrument, files away his sheet music, folds up his stand. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Arum does the same.

As he closes the lid of the piano, he ventures ‘so... this time next Wednesday?’

‘Tuesday, if it’s fine with you.’

#the penumbra podcast #second citadel #lizard kissin' tuesday #ok I keep veering between 'Im ok with this' and 'I absolutely loathe this'#so im just gonna post this now that my mind is with the former

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soofection · 5 years

Note

Some kpop prediction still give a false hope for j*k shipper, still deny both of them are broke up, that's why j*k shipper is delulu. Meanwhile hatero dandanies believe ksoo now date a non artist who work in beauty area because kpop prediction said they get information from sasaeng. It's sound funny for me, because most of sasaeng said, ksoo is very secretive member which until now they got nothing about him, but when j*k happened, suddenly sasaeng get information ksoo is dating now

ok so prediction says they got info from sasaeng (proved my theory right, they get info lmao)

but people still believe they have magical powers to predict

and they still believe in a prediction blog

if they are so legit why dont they predict a gamble game, get rich and just live a good life

also when will they stop trying to het up every single random girls with ks.... wtf is going on

#Anonymous

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dead-thorin · 5 years

Text

everything im gonna write is gonna be concerning but it be like that and its really not concerning

for like months now i haven’t been ok. And like it’s gotten worse with the holidays and ive been so fucking angry and tired lol. like at first i was like its fine its ok, then i was like its the hormones it happens, then its the stress of finals and work but like its really not like i legit just dont want to be alive anymore im really tired of it. Like idk how to convey just how much i dont care anymore to be alive

1) I feel so fucking isolated here like i have friends but a majority of them are cis. And like the trans people i know? most of them on T are non binary which like valid, but they dont get the full extent. And like their families support them lmao and theres one person i could talk to but he doesnt seem to want to socialize much so i always feel awful thinking about hitting him up

and like i feel like my friends dont like me and i know thats not the case but also maybe it is!!! who fucking knows anymore!!!! i dont have time to talk to them bc im so busy at work and then i get home and immediately have to do more work and by the time im free this week theyll be home for break so like!!! fuck i guess!!! i saw one of my friends who i havent been able to see all semester and she said shed hit me up today and she hasnt and i know its cause she and another friend have to study and theyve been busy but in my mind its still “she fucking hates u!!! doesnt matter that she was so excited to see u and would definitely have no qualms in telling u to fuck off she hates u!!!”

2) no one listens to me lol like people listen to me when i rant, which is really helpful and i really appreciate and love that they do that bc emotional labor, but like in groups? i talk and people interrupt or dont hear what i say or disregard it and im like k. OR THEY THINK IM FUCKING JOKING LIKE THIS LEGIT IS SUCH A PROBLEM AND IVE HAD IT HAPPEN WITH SEVERAL PPL AND IDK WHAT TO DO. Like i physically say “im really not joking dont do that” AND THEY STILL THINK IM JOKING

and whenever i talk to people and they give me advice or just listen they do at least one thing. They either mention medicine, which again, valid, but i dont want to go back on medicine right now. But then they fucking push that shit and demand reasons why i dont want to like fuck u i dont have to explain shit to u i just dont want to. And/or it turns into me educating them and im just like great! i managed to do labor in this trying time! nice!

3) I cant talk to my therapist bc shell become concerned lol. i told her how i went to the labor looking for a book about the pros and cons of committing suicide and researched it and i had to talk for 10 minutes afterwards about the steps i was taking to help combat it but like i was legit scared to tell her in case she made me go into inpatient care lmao and this brings me to pt 4

4) theres like nothing here LMAOOOOOOO like no books at either library about stopping suicidal thoughts or helping depression or about family estrangement. I had to order books from different libraries to get something and theres a few that i got from the Libby app but like wtf lmao and theres no events during christmas and every volunteer thing? either i gotta fill out an application and do training which who knows how long thatll take or i need a car. Like there legit isnt anything here i did so much looking lmao like i have my hobbies but that wont make me leave the house

i talked to a professor about this shit too and he understands and stuff and told me to hit him up during break if i feel isolated but like I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY FOR EVEN BREATHING LMAO LIKE WHAT hes got shit to do too and i know he has research going on so like doubt it

5) im gonna die alone at this pt and i know thats mad dramatic and also probably false but im like so conflicted about everything i feel with my gender and dating

like every time i like a man im like wow if i was a girl, this wouldnt be a problem and like being cis has more privileges than being trans but i know last time i dated in the closet it wasnt a good time SO

and every time i like a girl, im like she prob wont see me as a man or will be disappointed in my body or transition

and like no matter who im interested in, the same thought is always “they prob dont see me as a man and will misgender me, even unintentionally” like i know people who dont even know my birth name and have known my pronouns as he/him AND THEY STILL GET IT WRONG LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EVEN DO ANYMORE TATTOO IT ON MY FUCKING FOREHEAD

theres a guy i currently like, whos so sweet like theres one incident that happened that i had me thinking damn.... hope hes into guys and single..... and like its kept me up thinking “oh man hes definitely str8 this fucking sucks if i was a girl i would probably have a shot” but like every time i toy with the idea of detransitioning (not in a serious way, but just like casually thinking of a scenario) my mind physically rejects it and is like “motherfucking do u wanna go back to THOSE shitty feelings??? really??? it was worse before!!” and i will definitely get over this crush, like im just lonely and its cuffing season, but it fucking sucks in the meantime like i feel like i cant date because im too nervous and scared to!!! im so scared they wont think im a man and i know thats not every person but like Jesus its enough that its a good possibility

6) this part is sad but i think i have to stop talking to my sister or at least give her limited info bc shes having her parents contact me through her and im not giving them shit so...

like she just texted asking when id be home and for the millionth time (BC NO ONE LISTENS TO ME) i said i wasnt going home, im never going home, stop asking and i know that its them asking her to ask me and they can honestly fuck themselves

like these are all problems that have solutions and i know the solutions but like im so tired of it lol im tired of having to deal with my family situation, im tired of being ignored and interrupted and not taken serious and having to explain my boundaries over and over and over again, im tired of not being able to talk to people for fear of getting hospitalized or interrupted or pushed onto meds, im tired of not having resources, im so tired of it all. Im so sick of being suicidal and not even being able to get out of bed and having to deal with being depressed and anxious and chronically ill fuck all of it

legitimately had to make a list of shit i could do over break so that i feel like i cant hurt myself until i finish it bc thats how my shit brain works. like i dont want to die but i also just dont want to deal with this anymore and i know itll get better in time but jesus fucking christ its been 8 damn years when does it actually get fully fucking good? its gotten better but more shit keeps coming up like yea i started hormones but now i dont have a fucking family anymore.

Even if i didnt have this list i wouldnt do it bc 1) i dont want to do that to my closest friend and 2) im helping someone get out of an abusive situation. She has like no support, just one cousin whos there for her, but he doesnt have resources for her. Ive been listening to her and validating her and making sure she knows that a) this is the type of shit abusers do and b) shes not fucking crazy for thinking certain things!!! she really isnt and i get it so much so ive been gently giving her contacts from the beginning to help her and she finally left and is in a really delicate place. So like not exactly the best thing for me to suddenly be gone and id feel terrible if she had no one there for her

anyway this was a long post that can basically be summed up as i really want to fucking kill myself but i wont but also im suffering a lot

#post from the blogger

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survivor-themyscira-blog · 6 years

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OKAY SO, I just realized that I might not have sent in a confessional pre-tribal. I actually wrote part of this confessional ahead of time, didn’t submit it, and just now noticed it sitting in a word document. So this is what I wrote.

…

WELP. Tonight’s about to be a hell of a lot messier than it was yesterday. I thought that it’d just be a clean 10-1 vote with Ian dipping out, but I guess it’s going to be something more chaotic. I don’t know exactly how much fault I am to blame for that, but right now I’m just trying to harness the chaos and figure out who’s doing what.

I can see myself, Ian, or Kai being the targets tonight. I think that a lot of people are trying to reassure me that I’m safe, and it’s worked a bit because I’m not as on-edge as I was before. I mean, I’m still anxious as hell but it’s a different kind of anxiety. Now I have to figure out what I’m gonna do about this idol thing I’ve got.

According to a few people, everyone assumes I’ve got some sort of advantage as it is just because I came back and didn’t have a power out in the open for everyone to see. I figured there’d be some sort of suspicion around me not blatantly being immune for my first tribal council as a returner, so the quicker I can toss this thing out in the open, the better.

Jack, Logan, and I believe Rhone (I could be wrong on that one) have all pretty much said that Ian is receiving their votes tonight. And it sounds like a great plan and all, but there’s a lot of suspicion on whether these people want to actually go ahead and tell me what’s going on or not. I think that Kai is their best bet at getting rid of someone on the bottom, and they aren’t sure if I’ve caught onto that or not.

Emily and I were talking and she listed four names that had come up. Me, Ian, Kai, and Nicholas. I hadn’t heard Kai (but had my suspicions) and certainly didn’t expect Nicholas to come up either. I’ve been really concentrated on grouping everyone into two factions: Jordan Pines’ Alliance (the majority), and The Minority. Publicly, everyone can view me as being in the middle. Certainly, the majority doesn’t need another number as the minority is so small that it doesn’t make much sense to bring me into the fold on any votes.

…

I cut it where I left off so there isn’t any issues with it being like, false. Anyways, at the time, my plan was to definitely idol Kai because I was thinking that there was a chance I was being fooled, or that there was a plan to split the votes. I figured that Toph was going to vote for Nicholas just on a whim, as Emily said that Toph was the one to bring up multiple names, including Nicholas’.

Let the record show that this entire time, I’m telling Kai and Ian that this idol in my possession is only eligible for this first merge vote with me included. I’m a bad liar and kept over-selling the point so it’s possible everyone saw through my bullshit, but NOW I’m telling Ian and only Ian that the idol was not a one-time thing because like, there’s no point in lying. I cannot tell Jack the truth because he’s only going to get madder at me.

God… This vote was really fucking crazy. Let’s get caught up to speed. I had NO clue that Rhone was going to go home tonight, and I certainly would’ve been way interested in voting off Rhone over Nicholas as it would’ve saved me a little bit of time and energy. I made a group chat with Ian and Kai and like, tried really hard to solidify an alliance but these bitches totally just screwed me and didn’t say a DAMN THING about this vote.

Ian gave me the “well its better if less people knew” argument. And like okay, cool, I’m fine that we got rid of a threat BUT I even said “lets just do Rhone maybe!” because I felt as though Rhone was a bigger threat. I was the person telling them who to vote for. It’s not like I was running around trying to blow up their plans or anything, I was feeding them my personal agenda. But they shot it down and said nah, Nicholas is a bigger threat.

It saves them a lot of face, though. I’ll give them that. There are a lot of people who are gonna take more heat for this entire fiasco than either of them ever will. I wish I had just stuck to my guns and went for Ian, but like… clearly that was all for nothing because NOBODY followed through. I think I’ve put myself in a really hair situation now because not only am I down an idol, but TONS of people are capital Pissed at me for playing it on Ian when THEY WANTED IAN GONE. I tried to fuck them all over, doesn’t matter that Rhone went home or not.

Another thing is that this really opens up a lot about Toph’s game. I’m actually really impressed that he was able to pull this stunt off because of his double vote advantage. From what I understand, this helped people believe that voting out Rhone was totally within reach. Yet… none of those people came to me to talk about that deal. I think that I’m the person taking the biggest fall for the vote because my plans utterly failed.

Idk man. I’m worried about jury votes now, too. I definitely burned those on the bottom not named Ian or Kai, but I think Ian and Kai are resting pretty on the top?? With Madeline and Toph?! Fuck.

I did what I could today to apologize and make amends with the nuHippos from when I was voted out. I don’t know if they’re going to stick around much longer but I think that the apologies were received well. I’m still watching out for Toph because he seems like such a shady little shit, but clearly Ian and Kai are in cahoots with him enough to blindside half the tribe.

I don’t know for certain if playing my idol was a good move or not. It was just messy. It was kind of an unnecessary risk by telling Ian and Kai in the first place, but I knew I needed to deposit some trust in them so they could at least return some interest. It was all for nothing as they didn’t tell me about the whole Rhone blindside, so I’m kinda hurt by that… but I tell myself that I cannot be a baby about it right now. I simply can’t get upset that they did that to me when I did it to them long ago. Maybe this is my karma. I can feel completely unsteady for one more vote before I finally find a path in this game.

Also, Jack spilled some major tea on this five person alliance he is in. I figure its Jack, Logan, Emily, Nicholas, and possibly Rhone with Lily as an affiliate? I’m not sure though, he didn’t specify names. Just Emily and Nicholas plotting to get me out at the final ten, go figure. I guess I was supposed to vote for Ian to prove my trust to them, even though literally Logan doesn’t trust me, Nicholas is a douche to me, and Lily thought I was gonna vote her out. Awesome. Jack is like, genuinely upset at me for not sticking to my word and working with them. I’m going to have to do some SERIOUS damage control with all of these people and figure out wtf I’m gonna do next. Maybe by me voting for Nicholas, I proved trust to those I thought were in the minority – a newly banded Majority in the wake of the Fall of Pines. So maybe I found my footing again, who tf knows.

I think at this point, my game is officially demolished. I’m staying positive and looking at this like a house of cards. Though the cards are lying on the floor around me, I can start over again and I’m on an even playing field with everybody now. I’ve got a reward challenge and an immunity challenge to act as a buffer before we have to go back to a messy ass tribal.. I hope I can win one or both of them to get my hands on some sort of immunity, be it an idol or a necklace. I DO NOT want to get tenth place, I’m going for gold this time around y’all. If my messy ass can beat Jordan fucking Pines, what can’t I do?

I CANNOT BELIEVE WE DID IT AGAIN. ANOTHER IDOL PLAY ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL BLINDSIDE LMAO

[11/9/17, 12:15:30 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: what makes u think I’m gonna get idoled out!!!

[11/9/17, 12:15:37 AM] Emily: OMG

[11/9/17, 12:16:13 AM] Emily: I didn’t know who to put I didn’t think you’d be likely to get a majority of votes for things should an idol be played like that might be the only way

[11/9/17, 12:16:16 AM] Emily: I don’t know

[11/9/17, 12:16:23 AM] Emily: I read into touchy subjects too much

[11/9/17, 12:16:29 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: Hehe

[11/9/17, 12:16:44 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: Can’t get idoled out if ur the one w the idol tho

[11/9/17, 12:16:48 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: :)

[11/9/17, 12:17:11 AM] Emily: I also said you for date for my personal BUT I TAKE IT BACK

[11/9/17, 12:17:13 AM] Emily: IF UR MEAN

[11/9/17, 12:17:16 AM] Emily: oh wait what

[11/9/17, 12:17:20 AM] Emily: LQOABJANAJA LOGAN WHAT

[11/9/17, 12:17:22 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: HEHEHEHE

[11/9/17, 12:17:26 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: I found it the other day!

[11/9/17, 12:17:36 AM] Emily: LOGAN

[11/9/17, 12:17:38 AM] Emily: ANKWNWKWNWKWNWJ

[11/9/17, 12:17:40 AM] Emily: IM SCREECHING

[11/9/17, 12:17:41 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: I KNOW

[11/9/17, 12:17:48 AM] Emily: WHERE WAS SHE

[11/9/17, 12:17:58 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: BEHIND THE STATUE OF ATHENA

[11/9/17, 12:18:09 AM] Emily: WOW

[11/9/17, 12:18:15 AM] Emily: I’m so shook

[11/9/17, 12:18:40 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: i was shooK

[11/9/17, 12:19:20 AM] Emily: NAKANKA

[11/9/17, 12:19:24 AM] Emily: I AM TOO

[11/9/17, 12:19:34 AM] Emily: so like who knows about it???

[11/9/17, 12:19:42 AM] Emily: not like I’m going to tell I won’t

[11/9/17, 12:19:54 AM] Emily: is that even a good question to ask

[11/9/17, 12:19:55 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: Only u so far

[11/9/17, 12:19:58 AM] Emily: omg

[11/9/17, 12:20:02 AM] Logan Bee-Culpepper: i don’t want it getting out

[11/9/17, 12:20:09 AM] Emily: I won’t I promise

[11/9/17, 12:20:14 AM] Emily: my lips are sealed

SO LOGAN JUST FKSDJFKA TOLD ME JFDSKLJAL HE HAS FKDSAS AN IDOL AND I AM LITERALLY GONNA SHIT MYSELF JDLJFALS THIS IS SO COOL BUT IDK WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFO BECAUSE LIKE U KNOW IM VERY MUCH LOYAL TO DUDES, DAMES, AND A DEUTCH BUT ALSO LIKE LOGAN HAS THIS IDOL AND IM....... WHEW I DONT WANT TO TELL DDD BUT I THINK I MIGHT BECAUSE THEY'RE WANTING TO GO AFTER LOGAN AND FJSDKJFALS WHILE MADELINE IAN AND JACK ARE OFF ON THIS REWARD (IM FINE WITH MADELINE TAKING JACK IT'S GOOD THAT SHE DOESN'T REVEAL HOW CLOSE WE ARE) I CANT EVEN TALK IN DDD AND KAI IS ASLEEP FUCKING BRITS WHATEVER JFKDSFLAJFSALD HOSTS IM SCREAM IM SCREAM I AM A SCREAM

https://youtu.be/t5G5JomnL9A

Whew. I've been severely lacking in the confessional department.

SO. I found a fake idol after being left out of yet another vote. Which is great. Emily and Kai think it's real, Jack knows it's fake.

Kai and I had a blowup and now?? We're working together.

I think it's gonna be 6-4 Nicholas Jaiden but I just don't know

Rip

So I do like that Madeline has taken to calling me Golden Boy, that's one thing I always wanted to be called in a survivor game. I don't like that everyone is now pointing out the fact I have been immune for three rounds... Hold up guys, I didn't win the first two immunities. I played Kai's idol the first time to take out Jordan because well EMILY WAS THE LEAK. The second round the idol played on me didn't really matter, Rhone would have still gone home. I swear these people don't pay attention at all. Jack was like, "It feels good surviving a tribal while not being immune" HOMIE, I would have survived the Rhone vote because my allies were/are better than your allies.

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes

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