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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 1 year

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Is It Really That Bad?

From 1970 – 1988, Disney was in its Dark Age. After Walt Disney’s death, things began to unravel at the studio. Now, “Dark Age” might seem a little harsh, because some of Disney’s best and most unique films came out during this age, chief among them The Great Mouse Detective, Robin Hood, and The Fox and the Hound. It also delivered some really weird and moderately entertaining films like The Aristocats and some really boring movies like The Rescuers. But in terms of the studio succeeding in the wake of the death of its creator, yeah, this was a dark age. And in 1985, they’d face their darkest moment yet.

The Black Cauldron is a very loose (as in, it barely resembles the book) adaptation of Lloyd Alexander’s The Chronicles of Prydain series, and is also a film with a lot firsts for Disney. It was their first film to be rated PG because of the seriously nightmarish imagery within, it was the first of their films not to be a musical in some way, and even more impressively it’s the first animated film to utilize CGI! A truly ambitious dark fantasy project, there was no way this could go wrong!

Except it did. Catastrophically, even. This movie made back only 85% of its budget and ended up being outgrossed by The Care Bears Movie. In the wake of this disaster, CEO Ron Miller got the axe and never worked in Hollywood again, instead moving into the winery business; co-directors Ted Berman and Richard Rich suffered from two opposite extremes, with Berman never working in animation ever again while Rich went on to create things like The Swan Princess movies and produce Alpha & Omega; and producer Joe Hale sadly went the same way as Berman, never again working in animation.

But most distressingly, the film was almost the end of Disney itself, and if not for The Little Mermaid becoming the massive success that it was a few years later, they’d probably have gone the way of the dodo. Nowadays most of us wish Disney would just fucking die already, but living in a world without Aladdin, Hercules, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Beauty and the Beast is just not a world I even want to think about. To this day, Disney is content to ignore this film ever happened whenever possible, to the point where it didn’t get a home video release until 1998 and didn’t get the Blu-Ray treatment until 2021, making it the last post-Walt film to get that treatment.

These days, though, the film has something of a cult following and features one of the most beloved villains in the Disney Animated Canon. I’m unashamedly part of that cult following, but that doesn’t mean I’m totally blinded by my enjoyment of the film; as you’ll soon find out, I have a lot of issues with it. But are all these issues enough to make it really that bad that it should nearly tank an entire animation studio?

THE GOOD

If nothing else, the film is extremely ambitious, and this is the main reason that despite what I talk about later it has a rather sizable cult following. Disney had never gone this dark before, and to the film’s credit it manages to pull off some dark fantasy elements very well! It is trying so damn hard to sell you on this world, and when it’s utilizing stuff like its witch side characters or its psychic pig, it manages to actually be pretty intriguing and unique.

The movie also features the lost Disney princess, Eilonwy. Technically speaking she’s the first princess in the Disney lineup who was more well-rounded as a character. Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora, all of them were charming but a bit one-note, while Eilonwy was at least a little fleshed out. Sure, she’s not the greatest character in the world or anything, but she helped pave the way for the more interesting princesses of the 90s like Ariel, Jasmine, and Belle.

Of course, the big thing people love about this movie is the Horned King, one of the creepiest and most terrifying villains ever to grace a Disney film. A sorcerous lich with the voice of John Hurt, the mere act of entering a room is something he does with such impeccable style that he ends up becoming unforgettable. There’s a reason why the guy is constantly demanded to be a boss in a future Kingdom Hearts game.

Unfortunately, as cool as he is in looks and voice, the Horned King unfortunately runs into a rather serious problem...

THE BAD

...That problem being that he is unfortunately written in a very bland, generic manner. Yes, that awesome design and the talents of Hurt end up being wasted on the most cookie cutter evil overlord dialogue imaginable, and what’s worse, he barely even does anything before being unceremoniously killed at the end of the film by a complete fluke. As much as I and many others love the villain, it’s undeniable this is an extremely weak showing; it’s pretty telling that he is more effective as a villain in the Cinderella Castle Mystery Tour that used to be at Tokyo Disneyland than in his own movie.

It’s not entirely his fault he ends up falling a bit flat, though. The movie saddles him with a comedic sidekick named Creeper, who basically mugs the camera and is tonally jarring. He’s essentially the gargoyles from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but infinitely worse, because not only do the gargoyles at least never detract from Frollo by virtue of never sharing a scene with him, but Creeper is not voiced by Jason Alexander. If he was, he might be at least slightly tolerable.

But Creeper isn’t even the worst character in the movie! Neither is the one I’m about to talk about, mind you, but it is pretty fucking bad that our main character Taran is such a whiny, unlikable douchebag. Apparently he was like this in the books as well, but since that was an ongoing series he was able to develop out of being a jackass. Not so here; since this film bombed, we’re stuck with an unlikable prick who is condescending, sexist, and an egotistical braggart as our lead. And again, he’s still not the worst character!

No, that would be FUCKING GURGI.

Gurgi is one of the single worst abominations ever put to screen. He’s doing the world’s worst Theodore Gottlieb Gollum impression, and he does nothing but act as a hindrance and deliver unwanted comic relief. Literally the only good thing he does in this movie is die, and even that gets fucked up because Taran decides to wish him back to life (which nly further cements him as the world’s worst protagonist)! The world owes Jar Jar Binks and Scrappy-Doo an apology, because goddamn motherfucking Gurgi is worse than either of those two ever were.

And really, that’s what ends up dragging the film down the most. For how cool, ambitious, atmospheric, and interesting elements of it are, everything is bogged down by poor writing and a desire to conform to generic fantasy tropes even as it’s trying to break the mold and deliver something people hadn’t really seen before. It’s very much a film with a serious identity crisis, struggling both to be generic Disney fantasy fare and something a bit more bold and mature, and it doesn’t exactly work out.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Well, I definitely wouldn’t call it good, but it’s not the worst animated film ever either. Like, it’s trying. Oh lord is it trying. But I think this movie is just a little too ambitious for its own good, but even still its in a way that I can appreciate even if it isn’t amazing overall.

Really, the movie is just totally okay. I round it up to a 7 because I am part of the cult, but that 6.3 up there? Completely and totally reasonable. This definitely isn’t bad enough to warrant almost destroying a studio, but it’s also not really good enough to justify making tons of money. It’s just a very okay movie. And yeah, maybe that’s just bias because as you saw I have a lot of issues with the characters and story that would probably tank a movie I like less, but I don’t know, this is ultimately a bit of a harmless movie that you could easily use to ease kids into dark fantasy without totally traumatizing them with something like The Dark Crystal. It’s just lame and Disneyish enough to be palatable and not quite as scary as it could be, so you can take it for what it is. It definitely has its place in the Disney Animated Canon, but it really doesn’t deserve more than the cult fandom it has.

#Is It Really That Bad?#Review #movie review #IIRTB #The Black Cauldron #Disney #The Horned King

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onsunnyside · 2 years

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SONNYYYYY OMG I JUST HAD A THOT!!

an au where ce!characters (and possibly sebastian stan!characters too👀) are part of a travelling circus. i’m thinking:

‘strongman ari levinson! his muscles are out of this world🚀’

‘fortune teller lloyd, be careful of the grin of mischief he hides behind his ‘stache’ (is he actually telling the truth?)

‘ringmaster ransom, the ever-charming leading man of the circus’

‘knife thrower/juggler/swallower curtis, knives aren’t the only things he’ll make you swallow ;)’

‘fire breather johnny, the fire he juggles is almost as hot as him!’

and lastly, the newest member: contortionist/acrobat!reader; ‘she can climb anything, jump from trapeze to trapeze, walk along any tightrope, and contort her body like a pretzel’

the boys like to use her flexibility to fuck her in any position they desire, and mock her circus description; “you can climb anything huh? so we can’t you climb up here [bc they’re all sm taller than her, esp ari😭] and keep bouncing on my cock? not strong enough? guess i’ll have to do it for you” + ari’s bulging muscles being the same size as her head 😭 he loves to choke her with his arms, curtis loves to choke her his dick “cmon sweetheart, i put 18 inch knives down my throat and you can’t even handle my 8inch cock? pathetic”. possible temperature play with johnny👀 and ransom and lloyd LOVE to dirty talk - charming in the streets, dirty in the sheets🫡

OMGGG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH BESTIE !! thots below

pls big beefy ari showing off all the time, he just lifts anything and easily beats the other guys in drunk strength contests. OMG CREEPY LLOYD ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL ?? YES YES YES !!

oh my i can't help but think about steve being the ringmaster bc he's so naturally charismatic and confident, and I see ransom as one of the fire performers but on a bike so the stunt things ?? he'd be on stage with johnny, they'd be an iconic duo (perhaps bc he lit the police station on fire in KO).

that one fits curtis so well, he also throws axes (bc him in snowpiercer with that axe, mhm).

AHHHH THOSE THOTS DEAR GOODNESS !! they'd be so nasty, just tossing you around whenever they want but also whenever you want bc they won't neglect their girl's needs 😵‍💫 they just have the wildest sex bc you're so flexible, and they're so big 😩 they easily overpower you all the time

I WANT TO WRITE THIS SO BAD 🤧🤧

#st3rgirl<3 #wips ask #circus au

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furryprovocateur · 7 months

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ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

did you know tumblr has a text limit on posts? well, it does for specifically when you do the bullet indented format. the way i see it, if i can't have it that way. i'll just do it paragraph style. i WAS going to fucking use pastebin dot com, but for whatever reason, their filter wouldn't let me post it due to potentially having "offensive" material in it. is a man not allowed to use the word gay anymore without the sanitized internet trying to censor me? 1984, etc. etc.

anyways, look at that turn recipe. LOOK AT IT. astute and observant and smart and swag people might notice one thing: there's no RNG advancing. well, there's ONE part where i advance with heath, but that was ex post facto because i had accidentally advanced and wanted to preserve it in case i died. but notice my verbage. . . the second i started writing down my moves, i got it on the first try. i did not even have to reference these directions once, thankfully. i stopped taking notes by turn 11 because the bad part was basically over and any and all movement could be improvised + that was when i started accessing the arena.

but let this good news not mislead you: this chapter was a challenge. a very big one. linus himself is not the boss of this chapter, as many people will tell you. he does have threatening stats, but he doesn't move and is on the entire other side of the map (the same could not be said of lloyd if you did his FFO). no, the unit who qualifies as the boss of this chapter is that god damn sage that's right by linus. he has a bolting and is doing 32 damage (before resistance). he is capable of wrecking ASS and he will move if a unit manages to land in his attack range that spans legitimately 2/3s of the map. the biggest issue with that is you basically have to draw him out in some capacity. i forget if you could theoretically reach him if you used a promoted mounted unit (in my case, sain, but more preferably florina/fiora) and used a 2-range weapon to rush him, but doing so early on is a huge risk, and waiting until all the WKs are gone is impractical because you're looking at reinforcements until turn 18 (read: 4 turns before you're losing rank in tactics). so, the safest and most logical way to proceed is to bait him out. 32 might is very scary, but by this point, i have a decent amount of units who can at least take one of those boltings; even relatively resistance starved units like kent and heath can handle it if they're at full HP and not in immediate danger of being rushed by other units.

still, you do need to be exceptionally careful because this map is flooded with units, most of which are WKs that will break through holes in your defense and annihilate anyone who can't dodge tank or (in someone like heath's case) tank. so, in actuality, units like ninian and priscilla are relatively safe, especially if planted on a forest square, meanwhile it's units like fiora and bartre that you need to be careful with. even worse still is that you need dart to recruit geitz, and, sure, you don't HAVE to recruit geitz, but you absolutely want to. he comes with a killer axe, which by itself justifies trying to recruit him. combine that with the fact that he's an already good unit that gets made better because of HHM bonuses and recruiting him suddenly becomes non-negotiable. i mean, my goal with this playthrough was to recruit every character i could, but you get my point.

so, with all that in mind, the units i took were priscilla + serra (it's absolutely mandatory to bring them; healing is vital in this chapter, especially for the fliers, who are doing the lion's share of combat.), dart (he's there to recruit geitz, plus this was a golden opportunity to capitalize on feeding him some kills and bolstering the experience rank. am i using him beyond this chapter? absolutely not, but WKs and pirates aren't too scary for him if he plants his ass on a forest tile and the pirates in this chapter generally have terrible hit rates regardless.), bartre (similar to dart, i wanted to get him some experience. it's more important with bartre because i am using him long-term and i wanted to use this chapter to catch him up. both him and dart aren't dodge tanks by any means, but WTA against WKs while being on a forest tile puts the WKs' hit rates at a generous 30ish% at most. i slapped two 3 use vulneraries between the two of them and was able to keep them alive without chaining one of the healers to them.), florina (she's arguably my best unit for this chapter if not just also generally being one of my best units period. using her is non-negotiable.), fiora (well, she's not florina, but she's sure trying, isn't she?), heath (he's another unit that's vital to my success in this chapter. he's one of the few units capable of tanking the hits from WKs while also being able to occasionally dodge, and i needed him to run interference against the tidal wave of WKs that spawn. it also helps that he gains experience fast due to being considered "low level", even though his stats tell a different story. most importantly: my heath is doing great, so i have even more reason to want to use him.), rath (it might sound like crazytalk to field rath in a chapter where WKs will tapdance on him, but he's not that difficult to shield with better units that WKs piss themselves over like hector, and, much like dart, he's got a great opportunity to pick off some weakened units to gain experience quickly. the only real risk for him is the bolting one-shotting him, but that's relatively easy to manage. again, not planning on using him long-term, but i could see myself using him in potentially another chapter with weak enemies. besides, the emblem bow being free is a nice incentive to do gold-free attacks with him, combat rank be damned.), kent (all around good unit, if a little lacking on stats by this point of the game. i fielded him so i could get some experience on him. the thing about cavs is that you usually need very little reason to field them, but it also helps that he was very helpful for making optimal use of the arena.), raven (going in at level 18 and change, i definitely wanted raven to promote sometime during this chapter, and with a plethora of enemies and an arena in this chapter, i have ample opportunity to do so.), and ninian (as mentioned in previous updates, she is essentially a must-use unit whenever possible.)

the basic strategy was this: divvy my team up into 3 different squads: the landlubbers (kent, raven, hector, raven, rath), the crow's nest (heath, florina, fiora), and the seadogs (bartre, dart, geitz). priscilla and ninian oscillated between the latter two groups to help when necessary. the villages in this chapter look scarier to save than they are. in fact, you're given plenty of time to reach them. the one on the right isn't in real danger until around turn 6, where you need to have someone either already at it or within range of the pirate that can reach it (any time a brigand/pirate has the choice between a village or attacking a unit, they always will go for the unit, thankfully.). the two villages in the upper left area are very far away from the pirates, and the pirate closest to land is stationary, so you have plenty of time to deal with the hordes of mercenaries that will be rushing you before having to deal with the pirates.

i ended up fortifying a chokehold with the landlubbers to keep the mercenaries one at a time. this is where rath spent most of his time after killing an errant WK or two when possible. in spite of me saying that using the emblem bow would be ideal, i used the short bow a fair amount to roll for crit kills. i don't think i ended up getting any, but such is life. the seadogs had an initial challenge of recruiting geitz, because geitz needs to be baited out and, as mentioned, he has pretty respectable stats. i ended up going with the strat of using nini's grace on bartre and just having him tank two steel bow hits from geitz. even if he hits with both, bartre'll live, and that section of the map isn't too scary if you do it before it starts getting swarmed with WKs. to wit, that meant that the crow's nest was in the scariest and most vulnerable position of having to deal with all the WKs that spawned. priscilla was a literal lifesaver for this part, because if i didn't have her using a physic to heal (usually twice a turn with ninian's assistance), even heath would've eventually fallen.

going through this chapter, i came to the unfortunate conclusion that fiora is just not pulling her weight in the way i need her to be doing. sure, a bad flier is still usually a good unit overall due to the multitude of things they can do for you, but with florina and heath both outclassing her in basically both polar directions, she's kind of just average. i'm not necessarily benching her, but i'm considering it. that said, i did manage to get her and florina a C rank support, so i'm hoping that'll give me incentive to keep using her. C rank gives +1 attack and +5 crit, which isn't stellar, but it's something. B rank will give double that + 1 defense, so it's something to try to do if possible.

anyway, florina and heath absolutely FUCK right. they've both gotten great level ups, and the only real distinguishing feature in their utility is that where florina can dodgetank more, heath can just outright tank more due to his great defense. heath ended up being more useful due to having the great defense to fall back on in tandem with his occasional dodges, whereas florina could only realistically take 1 hit from a WK before being in kill range. i also generally didn't want to use her too much because she came into the chapter at level 18 compared to heath's 12, so getting heath the experience was much more efficient, not to mention economical. it's not wholly possible to keep your units' levels pancaked, but whenever you can balance it out, it pays off.

so, once the seadogs recruited geitz, the plan was to get geitz to the village and have bartre + dart plant their asses on those forest tiles and collect autowin i mean collect experience. again, it sounds dangerous in theory to roll all those 30%s, especially because i am notoriously an accident magnet in these games (in one attmept of this chapter, i had a 93% miss and then an 18% chance for priscilla to get hit happened (both before true hit)). but, considering that both of them have over 30 HP + were steadily leveling up and increasing their speed and luck stats, thereby increasing their avoid, it was a much less dangerous endeavor for them than i was worried it would be. no, the one who got put into danger was fucking geitz of all people. i expected him to be better at dodging than he was with a bow, which, in retrospect, was very silly to think. he got as low as 7 HP at one point, but fortunately slapping his killer axe back on and sitting him on the third forest square made him unkillable. even still, i did use the vulneraries on him to cover my ass, and it worked out. i'm most impressed that bartre did as well as he did. he didn't get stellar level ups iirc, but i think he leveled up speed just enough to consistently double the WKs, so that's all i can ask for. my standards for bartre are rock bottom, but the emblem seal helps shore up his hit rates, and having 11 or so speed (i forget how much he has currently) is honestly good enough. again, extremely low expectations, but considering i only ever throw him intentionally at lance users or (weak) axe users, he does his job relatively well. or, at least, better than i could've asked for.

once the mercenaries were out of the way, the landlubbers and crow's nest needed to team up to take out that bolting sage. my plan was thusly: use raven as bait to draw the sage as close as possible to heath or florina (i had both waiting in ambush just outside of his attack range.), and then strike. it worked out very well! he missed raven, heath was able to kill and milk that promoted unit udder of experience, and we got the deadliest part of the chapter dealt with. i cannot overstate how large that fucker's range is. i lost track of how often i'd accidentally set heath or florina in his range and suddenly have an aggro'd long distance 32 might to worry about. anyways, with him dead, the chapter was essentially over, so i took that opportunity to do a shitload of arena grinding. i needed the gold and more experience could only be a good thing. i won't go into extreme details, but all you need to know is that using kent, florina, and fiora, i was able to get a minimum of two units per turn in that arena. i got very good luck in that i only had to back out of around 2 or 3 fights, though it's absolutely worth mentioning that i made it to this point in the chapter and lost heath due to a miscalculation on my part. nothing kills your soul quite like something like that.

anyways, all this is to say: i got raven to 20 and promoted him, i got heath to 20 and promoted him (he was honestly the safest unit to use in the arena due to his combination of high defense, access to lances, and relatively high speed.), and i even used rath a little! i can't say rath was exceptionally great but. . . he did things! this was the chapter that i learned ninian's ring buffs will persist in the arena, so i tried to take full advantage of that (along with the rescue-buff glitch that makes buffs persist more than one turn) to get rath in the arena. the results were. . . a little underwhelming, but he did get some wins and experience, so i can't be unhappy with that. everyone else was either too far away to put in the arena (the seadogs), a healer, or a mounted unit that i needed to utilize to rescue chain multiple units hitting the arena. all of this was instrumental because not only did i need gold for grocery shopping (as you can see in the bottom of turn directions, i needed lances badly.), but i also needed 20k so i could get farina by next chapter. this is why i ultimately sat on FFO for 25 turns instead of finishing early. yeah, farina is optional and basically nothing but a detriment. but i like her and want to recruit her. plus, in a weird way, i feel like i have to recruit her, because it would balance out the funds advantage i got from early access to a silver card. i've already tried to counterbalance against that by using the boosters on eliwood, but i think this would almost certainly put to bed the advantage i gained from that. or, at least, it will make annoying nerds less inclined to speak up. besides, looking at it in a positive light, farina is another unit i could get some experience on and potentially she could help my experience rank. cog of destiny has only magic units (besides lloyd and vaida's group), so if i give her a javelin, maybe i can get her some action. i'm already planning on using nino that chapter as well, so it's something to consider.

anyways, end of chapter time. raven went to linus and his two hero friends with the silver sword equipped. they aren't necessarily trivial, but considering raven had 20/20/20 stats and pretty good defense before promotion, they got decimated by hero raven. you almost have to feel kind of bad for the dude, because he's so much more imposing when he's sitting on a throne but trivial otherwise. meanwhile, lloyd is always scary to fight despite swordmasters being generally less useful than heroes. i guess that can be attributed to him being both aggressive and having good crit. ah well. bye linus. it's weird that your name is linus, you strike me as more of a zeke or a derek. something with a k.

next chapter is crazed beast. having a good turn buffer for this one is great, because it means that i don't have to feel super duper pressured about finishing it asap (though i still plan to). and with all the bad units in it, i'm thinking i could potentially get some more growth units in the fray. if nothing else, that southern fort with all the axe users has guy's face painted on it. maybe i'll even field lyn or eliwood for shits and giggles. you never know.

if you read all of this you are gay btw.

#fire emblem #this post took literally 2 hours to type. well more like an hour and a half. but i started it at 11 and i'm only just posting it.#i am your mutual.

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noddytheornithopod · 1 year

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This week's episode of the Mandalorian was... really weird. And not in the fun way. The "episode ended and my primary feeling is complete and utter confusion" way.

Not even sure where to start, because the episode felt really messy to me. I guess I'll try and go through it all from start to finish... assuming the episode's weirdness doesn't cause tangents.

Alright, so the intro was actually cool. The Mon Cala Quarren romance was kinda goofy and hard to take seriously, but I do like the idea behind it. The intro of Axe Woves and what those Mandos were up to was a cool set up. So cool, the episode is gonna be about Bo-Katan trying to get them back on their side again, right? It seems that way... but then Jack Black and Rizzo show up and the whole episode goes on a massive tangent. I know The Mandalorian often does the whole side quest thing, but either I'm getting tired of it, or the messiness of this season's overarching story meant I have even less patience for it, teasing the interesting conflict relevant to the big picture only to divert elsewhere.

Also... Jack Black and Rizzo, wasn't a fan. Between this and getting Christopher Lloyd, it's like Favreau had the idea for the main conflict but it didn't fill up enough pages so he filled the middle, now majority, with celebrity cameos to compensate. I don't usually mind goofy characters, but IDK here it felt so paper thin, and it doesn't help that I couldn't really tell what they were trying to do with that part of the story.

So like... okay, this planet is allegedly a direct democracy. It kinda looks idealised and utopian with the scenery and set design, but the characters are goofy in a way it feels like it was trying to mock them? The whole "we're a direct democracy but we're also monarchs" thing is so confusing to me. Like... I feel like it's trying to say something, but I don't know what? Are they trying to say direct democracy is utopian and unrealistic, typical liberal "communism is unrealistic" shit?

Thing is, episode didn't really seem to be about that. If it was my salty libcom ass wouldn't be amused but at least it would've been coherent. Instead we're focusing on malfunctioning droids or something.

So like, I'm expecting some twist to this. They investigate and meet the ugnaughts. They look more proletarian to the opulence of the main city, so I was like "oh so is this like a slave/exploited workforce?" ...apparently not! The ugnaughts are chill, and the droid problem is something else. Din talking to them based on experience was cool at least?

So the runaway B2 and the droid bar being called "The Resistor" got me thinking... is this like a droid uprising thing? The droids aren't actually malfunctioning and they're instead demanding equal rights while the organics live like bougies? Also apparently not! The droids are chill and are apparently just concerned about why some of them are going crazy. This seemed like it might've been this suppposedly utopian society having to reckon with the automation they use being sentient, but nope!

At least seeing Din's old prejudices was something, like he still has to actively make an effort to not be a dick to droids, IG-11 was just one droid, and these weren't any droids, but Separatist droids.

Okay so the culprit is... Christopher Lloyd, who's apparently an old Separatist who sees Dooku as some visionary and wants revolution or something? Honestly, this was so rushed and underdeveloped I'm not even sure I fully understand what happened. So it seems like his motives were because the Duchess married the Duke of this planet who was ex-Imperial but reformed through the Amnesty program. Not a bad concept at least, but with all the other shit going on it doesn't feel as developed as it should be?

Oh yeah, Grogu is also there and Lizzo loves him. Remind me why we were in such a hurry to reunite him and Din in a DIFFERENT SHOW again? He better have a major moment in the finale or I'm calling bullshit on the decisions made for Book of Boba Fett.

Din feels like just a sidekick but at least the droid stuff TRIED to do something with him. With the big picture stuff though he doesn't have much presence.

Bo-Katan and Axe Woves facing off was cool I guess, oh yeah finally back to the story I actually wanted to see. Bo even repeated the declaration Maul did in the Clone Wars. Guess it works for taking control of any Mando group?

Bo beats Axe, even as Axe says if she wants to lead so much she should fight Din. But then Din makes this loophole that because he was captured by the creepy cyborg on Mandalore and Bo-Katan then defeated it and was even using the darksabre to do it, she can now take it? IDK, I just find it funny that a ridiculous logic train fans went down ended up becoming a real loophole Din used to make everyone convinced Bo-Katan could now wield the sabre.

Honestly, the most interesting part of that scene was that Axe is apparently a Mando blood supremacist, lol. Taking off helmets is for dumb religious zealots, but racial purity good, only those born from Mandalorian families are Mandalorian! Not a bad idea, but it kinda feels like nobody is really challenging these traditions. Din gets welcomed back into helmet gang. Axe accepts Bo because she actually gets the darksabre. They're still finding ways to follow their traditions instead of genuinely evolving.

At least Bo-Katan felt like she was finally doing shit again instead of being all sowwy Awmower I will keep my hewmet on. We still got here in a messy way but oh well. Din I guess contributed to the conflict resolution at least?

So yeah... very confused episode. Has a neat base idea, but instead of actually making an effort to explore that core to the fullest, we go on some weird tangent that feels poorly thought out thematically and is being covered with celebrity guest stars.

Anyway, Rick Famuyiwa better deliver on these last two episodes, because this might be the first time I'm actually starting to feel worried about a Star Wars project's story trajectory. At least Rise of Skywalker knew what it wanted to do even if it had issues getting there. Dave Filoni is also co-writing next week, so IDK either we get some deep cut lore or backstory or we finally see the anticipated Sabine Wren join the Mandos fighting to take back Mandalore (and knowing Filoni Ahsoka will be there too lol). Anyway, these last two episodes... you have a lot to live up to, PLEASE stick the landing.

At least I have Bad Batch to watch even if they still need to fix their goddamn whitewashing issue, but at least that story is pretty good and... oh, yeah, no more Bad Batch until at minimum next year. This is all the Star Wars airing now. Fuck.

#the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian #sw spoilers #star wars

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justicefanged · 1 year

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🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

Despite Linus being the sort of weird, gremlin ass person to pick up things wherever he goes because of XYZ at the time, he isn't very materialistic. Once he's bored of something, he drops it.

I don't think the Reeds really had or kept much, either when Linus was a boy or when he got older. He didn't really need toys to have fun or cause trouble, and frankly, he was more likely to break them than anything else. So, maybe at one time he had toys that were specifically for him or hand me down things from Lloyd, but they likely didn't last long. And I think, once their mother was out of the picture, toys or just non-functional things in general were not going to happen.

Linus has been given a lot of weapons growing up -- both real and something more for fun or training. Knives, swords, axes -- that one really big stick he found and totally used as a club. But again, I just...don't think they lasted long enough for him to still be holding onto them.

The closest thing would be his coat. It's special! He got it when he officially started working with his father in the Black Fang. His father was super proud! Lloyd was proud, too, but he's also a Worrier, so that was also kinda mixed in there. But Linus loves this jacket -- its the most well taken care of thing about him, and he feels weird without it.

He would Not Be Happy if something happened to it. Heads would roll, responsible or not.

#[ answered ask ]#[these dumb boys & their belt jackets that will never be in fashion]

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k0na-core · 2 years

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Neil Anthony- Master of the Stars (Chance)

Ayoo a Ninjago OC/ Self Insert! Boy, aren't I cringe? I wanted to make one so badly and wanted to tie it to astrology which would be cool. So, this is my son, Neil. He joined the team post Crystallized (assuming nothing bad will happen to them while the season is airing) and he was under the control of the crystals (assuming that the crystals control people like zombies). He went to Master Wu for help to rid of the control and in addition to that, he started to train as a ninja. Unfortunately, the only thing Wu could remove was the control, sadly the crystals' power had bounded to his energy. It awakened a new ability in him, though. After a bit more research, he found out that Neil harnessed the power of stars: the ability to control or enhance chance and fate and also the ability to predict certain things. His abilities work like how you would use a skill to increase attack or defence of your team or enemies in RPG games. His abilities also effect the environment (chance of weather changes, tides, star alignments and such) but doing this takes a lot of energy, moving astral bodies by a few inches drains energy fast. Even a few inches can drastically change outcome which is why Wu trained him how to keep control.

The ninja were introduced to him at the monastery after all the events of crystallized went down and he became the new youngest of the team, being only 19 and was in charge of keeping villains at bay when the ninja are doing important missions. He was still new and so he spends most of his time training with Cole or Lloyd when they're free. Neil spends his spare time pranking and bullying Kai with Lloyd because he wanted to challenge his ego.

In combat, he would stay in front as defender with Cole because he has more defense overall (body build, embedded armor, his defence increase etc) and also because has a huge swinging axe. Though, one major problem is that he needs glasses or else he's basically blinded. When Neil gets knocked in the back of his head and his glasses fall off, the team are kinda at a loss of a defence system. He refuses to wear contacts because his eyes get irritated easily. He also has headphones on at all times while fighting, it not only makes it more fun but also because he attacks at a rhythm. The faster the song, the faster his attacks. Like DDR but he's kicking people. Neil can still hear the Ninja while fighting, obviously.

I made some sketches on what he and the team would do when they're not on missions. He and Nya would absolutely raid the pantry and drink all the alcohol available, his favourite is definitely Rhum. On his way back to the monastery from campus, he'd sleep alot on the train and miss stops all the time because he is so exhausted from fighting. Neil's favourite prank on Kai would be increasing chances of rain by 50% when Kai's outside with good clothes on or when he is on some date. It's even funnier when he doesn't bring an umbrella because they're in the middle of drought. He and Cole would talk about crystals, spiritual stuff and astrology on hours on end. He would often go shopping with Zane because the nindroid understands fashion like a critic. Neil being trans, get so much advice from Jay and Lloyd who have experience a lot about it. Jay was also nice enough to donate his binders to him too. Even though Kai is being relentlessly bullied all the time, he was still willing to forge his axe because of his big brother attitude. Every Sunday, he and Cole either bake a cake while headbanging to Metal or the girls (Pixal, Skylor and Nya) bring him and Lloyd to spa.

I think that's all I have for now. And yes, he did tell his parents he joined the ninja force, they were kinda shocked that Master Wu was willing to let him join. I might just make a comic on how this happened in some time but I think I wrote all the ideas I wanted. He did out himself to Cole when they told him that he was gay aswell so that's nice.

#ninjago #ninjago fanart #ninjago oc #kai smith #cole brookstone #jay walker #zane julien #sketch #digital #lloyd garmaddon #nya smith #pixal borg #skylor chen #neil my son

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darkenforcer · 1 month

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"Did this one happen in a battle, or is there a different story behind it?"

SCAR SURVEY STARTERS || not accepting !

"geez, that one? i was better off forgetting i had it," yuri snorts, looking down with a small shake of his head. "nope, no battle. i got it when i was... ten, maybe?"

it's a funny story, actually. embarrassing as all hell and completely avoidable in retrospect, but funny. figuring lloyd's the sort to have his own set of embarrassing scars (just look at the guy), he doesn't mind going into it for him.

"i was carrying this big axe around after chopping up wood for the orphanage... little did i know one of the other runts thought it'd be a good idea to launch a sneak attack on my way in..." (seriously, who does that?). "didn't hurt him, luckily, but i dropped the damn thing 'n it snagged my leg on the way down." he handled the pain like a champ, too, it was the bleeding that got everyone up and running. looking back on it, the other kid was freaking out more than he was.

#ic #meme friday #twohundredpower #i saw a hc once that first aid (the arte) doesn't leave scars behind so most of yuri's would be from when he was younger or while he was--#fighting alone. and i was like... sure i'll add that to my belief system #blood mention tw

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three-golden-kings · 2 years

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Lloyd: Welp, I'm useless right now. All I have is a big axe and smaller axe on a chain.

(Pablo and Motor were running around the vehicle, desperately trying not to get shot or run over)

(The driver stopped the car for a second as the doors at the back opened up and two men with rifles jumped out)

Pablo: There's more of them! Lloyd, go deal with them!

Lloyd: Now I won't be so useless.

(Lloyd threw the chained axe which impaled one of the soldiers before Lloyd yanked the chain, pulling the soldier towards him and his fist, knocking him out)

Lloyd: Got one!

Ni: Nice [He said deeply as he saw what Lloyd did]

San: Should we do something? [He said looking at Ichi] I could bite someone. It can be fun!

Ichi: Hmm… No, if they attack us sure, if not we’ll just watch [He replied]

San: Aw, okay [He said a bit disappointed]

#Ichi #ni #San #sir stressed #sadistic ghidorah

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girlscience · 3 years

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guess who started yet another da:i playthrough?????? guessed who still hasn't finished any of his previous playthroughs?????? any way... meet Lloyd!

#yes i named him lloyd. it is hilarious to me #also i was running on some extreme adrenaline when i started him so he is extremely confrontational #he's my first warrior playthrough so that's fun. he has a big ax right now #i think he's going to romance Cass? but i've really been wanting to romance Josie and Bull too so plans may change #i haven't been able to play in a while because my dad has been working durning the night for like a month now and we only have one pc #also fun fact he is my second elf with Andruil's vallaslin. my first elf had June's.#i am going try and not use the help of the interwebs on his playthrough... i have with everyone else so far so idk how it will go lol

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vivi-mire · 2 years

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Favorite Symphonia characters. Now. Tell me. It's important and vital to my health.

LOL i just wrote this all out in the tags of my ask to you but I'll elaborate more Lloyd is my fave because I'm basic lol. he's got such a good voice (I played it in english). I also played on the gamecube version and his model is also. such a little skrunkly. Shout to to the slightly blurry og graphics you hold my heart. I love his friendship with Genis and I love how he was raised by a dwarf. His relationship with his adopted dad is so good????? I love them so much. I also love how he's just such a good kid like he walks through the forest every day with his dog to go to school,,,,, speaking of lloyd's dad(s). Kratos. the guy ever??????? the skrunkly when the he reblog if the when. ALSO COLETTE AND PRESEA!! MY GIRLS!! Presea is so good i love her. She's so cute and I loved her story. Plus she has a hug axe so. +100 points. Colette is such a wonderful girl! Just like,,, her struggle with her responsibilities,, and how she eventually lost her voice but her and Lloyd still found a way to speak to each other????? also I love how Colette will name all the dogs she's so cute! ALSO SHEENA! so many good ladies in this game honorable mention to Regal. man tortured by his past with big tits what more could you want also genis is so good. like his whole story with Mithos and feeling like he doesn't belong... Also at this point I'm just listing every character but. Zelos. breathe if you agree

#riya speaks #ask #tos #brainbeam activated i love they

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lloydskywalkers · 4 years

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planetary go

me: hey this would be a great time to actually do some of that oc development I’ve been planning for the last two years

also me: lloyd has no good very bad spiderman day

i’ve had this in my drafts for...over a year now, i think?? it’s entirely self-indulgent and i was very much committed to never posting it ever, but it’s oc day, so. maybe i will leave it up for five minutes before hiding it again gdhjkfg

(for background, the oc is Rachel, who’s Brad’s friend from school and a useless nerd, and one day i’ll actually take the ideas i have for her further, but today she’s just a kid who got her hands on an axe)

In theory, bringing Lloyd on their school’s annual planetarium field trip sounded like a great idea. Brad’s been trying to get Lloyd to hang out with them in a normal setting for forever now, and he knows that, as much as Rachel secretly enjoys waving at Lloyd during life-or-death situations because deep down she’s an adrenaline maniac, he also knows she’s been wanting to have five minutes of peace and normality with him as well.

As for Lloyd, Brad’s pretty sure he doesn’t even know what that is, but there’s always time for a learning curve.

Plus, Lloyd deserves it. As soon as Brad managed to get wind that the only education his friend’s had is Darkley’s — which is a tragedy, honestly — he’d started scheming a way to sneak Lloyd into his school. Only for the fun stuff, of course — he’s not about to subject Lloyd to the horrors of Pre-Cal, or AP Physics.

A field trip, though, is perfect. All the fun parts of school, without the actual busy work or potentially anxiety-inducing memories of school hallways. Sure, the planetarium their school insists on visiting is boring as it gets, but it’s still better than math class. It’s a full hour-long bus ride away, too, which means that by the time the teachers or the ninja catch wind what’s happened, they’ll be home free.

(Well, Brad thinks so. If Lloyd didn’t end up clearing this trip with the ninja and snuck out instead, he’s not sure their school bus is up to outrunning a bunch of dragons. It’d be funny to watch, though.)

The point is, it had been a great idea, until Rachel went and fell asleep in the first five minutes. Which would’ve been fine, except Lloyd took one look at her and decided that he liked the idea of being asleep too, so now Brad’s lost two friends to naps, and he kinda needs them awake, because hour-long bus rides are boring.

He eyes the two where they’re sleeping in disdain. Some friends they are. He contemplates shoving them both off the school seats for a second, and watching them sprawl all over the floor like a pair of idiots, but he decides against it. Lloyd’s packing a little too much power, and he’s seen Rachel when she’s angry. Also, he watched the news report this morning, and he knows the kind of night Lloyd had. Brad’s still trying to figure out how he doesn’t have ugly bruising all up the left side of his face, much less a decent night’s sleep.

Nah, he’ll let them sleep for now. He can read Lloyd’s comics in the meantime, since he doesn’t have school books. Brad can be nice, when he wants to. Not that it’s going to make up for the hour long bus ride on his own, but he can suck it up this once, he supposes.

If only that had been the worst of his problems today.

*********

“This is a terrible plan.”

“What do you mean?” Brad’s eyebrows furrow. “This was your plan.”

“Well, yeah, okay, fine, but I mean—” Rachel shrinks in her seat, still rubbing sleep from her eyes as she glances around at her classmates on the bus warily. “I didn’t really think it through,” she mutters.

Brad rolls his eyes. “Kai’s not gonna find out, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Oh, it’s not Kai I’m worried about,” Rachel scoffs. “I figured that out. Lloyd was right, Kai’s just a big softie. It’s Nya you gotta worry about.”

Brad scoffs. “Wimp.”

“Fine, you can face her down when she comes at us with all the wrath of god for hijacking Lloyd for the day.”

Lloyd shifts guiltily where he’s crammed in the seat between them, jacket hood pulled over his head, as it that’s gonna hide who he is. “I don’t have to come, guys.”

“Yes, you do,” Brad immediately responds.

“We want you to come,” Rachel says, emphatically.

“You can’t just ditch us, you’re the only exciting part of this dumb field trip,” Brad adds. “Plus, it’s like, way too late to back out now. We’re ten minutes from the planetarium, you should’ve spoken up earlier.”

“You deserve a normal day out,” Rachel steamrolls over Brad. “You’re coming.”

“Okay,” Lloyd says, still unsure as he glances around. He’s starting to wonder how, exactly, he managed to sleep through the better part of this trip. The West Ninjago High school bus is chaos incarnate, the high school students crammed in the seats all chattering loudly and occasionally chucking everything from straws to entire notebooks at each other.

Maybe he should get his reflexes checked, he thinks dully. Then again, it’s not like the school bus is an immediate threat. It’s pretty nice, actually — a lot nicer than the buses they used to have at school the guys taught at, at least.

“We do need to work on your disguise, though,” Rachel mutters, surveying his outfit. Lloyd tugs anxiously on the school jacket Brad lent him, the dark blue fabric scratchy and uncomfortable. Luckily, Brad and Rachel’s school doesn’t require a uniform, so his casual outfit blends in just fine. The jacket’s just a field trip requirement.

Why he’s crashing their field trip, he’s yet to figure out, but they’d made it sound fun, and he hadn’t had anything better to do today, so Lloyd Garmadon’s now Brad’s distant cousin from Metallonia. They haven’t decided on his fake name yet, because Rachel wants to use Luke Skywalker, and while Lloyd isn’t great at going undercover, he’s not that bad.

“Here,” Rachel says, rifling through her backpack. She pulls out a pair of glasses, unfolding them and handing them off to him. “The lenses are fake, don’t worry.”

Lloyd stares at the glasses in his hands. “This is my disguise?”

“Yeah,” Brad nods. “Like Clark Kent.”

“Clark Kent has the most obvious disguise ever.”

“Yeah, but no one ever finds him out.”

“Because it’s the comics. This is my life. Something’s gonna go wrong.”

Rachel doesn’t seem to share his concerns, pushing the glasses toward his face. “Just put them on?”

Lloyd sighs, complying. He slides the glasses on, frowning at the unfamiliar weight. “There,” he grumbles. “How do I look?"

Brad snorts, but he gives him a thumbs up. Rachel turns a weird color and coughs quickly, before saying what Lloyd’s pretty sure is “they’re alright”.

He’ll take it.

“So I’m good to go?” he asks, glancing at the teacher up front anxiously.

Brad and Rachel stare at him. Lloyd isn’t a fan of the looks on their faces.

“Well, you’re gonna have to…talk with your mouth closed a little more,” Brad winces. “The uh, the teeth.”

Lloyd shuts his mouth tightly. Right. His genetics.

“And um…” Rachel bites her lip. “Is there any way you could, like…turn the brightness down?”

Lloyd frowns. “The what?”

“The uh—“ Rachel gestures to her own dark brown eyes. “The eyes.”

Lloyd folds his arms, glaring at them. “This is part-human discrimination.”

��It is not—“

“Yeah, the only part we’d discriminate you for is the lame part—“

“We’re just trying to make sure no one figures out you’re a big ninja celebrity!”

Rachel immediately claps a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. Lloyd sinks lower into his seat, and Brad cringes.

“Sorry,” Rachel whispers.

Fortunately, no one else seems to have overheard, or they simply just don’t care. Lloyd straightens up a bit, still wary, but he uncrosses his arms.

“Yeah, I get it,” he sighs. He closes his eyes, focuses briefly on the thrumming power that’s always in his veins, then opens them.

Rachel looks guilty, and Brad snorts.

“They’re, um, they’re red now.”

Lloyd bites back a curse. “Darn it.”

By the time they reach the planetarium, Lloyd’s finally got his eyes to stay a color Rachel says could be normal, and Brad says is lame. Lloyd’s eyes are itching, and he’s starting to have seconds thoughts about this, because the kids in the seat across from him are giving him weird looks.

“D’you think they recognize me?” he asks Rachel under his breath, pulling his hood back up over his head.

Rachel looks over, and her lips pinch. “I don’t think so,” she says. She gets a weird look on her face. “I think they just…like you.”

“Like me?” Lloyd frowns. “They don’t even know me. I haven’t even said one word to them.”

Rachel stares at him, the weird look replaced by a blank one. “Lloyd.”

“Yeah?” he blinks.

“Never mind,” Rachel sighs, and Brad snickers. “Hey, we’re here.”

Lloyd’s stomach does a little flip, which is ridiculous, because he’s faced things ten thousand times more terrifying than a field trip. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s got a miserable track record with disguises, and really just acting in general?

Yeah, that could be it, Lloyd thinks. He never could pull off accents, unless you wanted like, an Oni one, which was useless anyways, because any Oni would probably just kill him for being a blood traitor on the spot, and anyone else who heard it would go running for the hills, or lock him up, or—

“—c’mon, Lloyd, we’re going!”

Lloyd snaps back as Brad shoves at him, forcing him out of the seat and into the aisle. He stumbles in with the other high schoolers crammed in the bus, all fighting to get to the front exit first, and is immediately onset by claustrophobia.

“Move it, people, come on—” Rachel shoulders her way past him, shoving the people in front of them until they’re stumbling forward, gradually thinning up the crowd. “I hate this bus,” she grumbles beneath her breath. “It’s like a mosh pit, but without any of the fun."

“I can start kicking kneecaps in,” Brad offers.

Rachel glances back at him, unimpressed. Lloyd considers it briefly, before quickly schooling his expression into “unimpressed” as well. Brad deflates.

Rachel finally gets them out by sheer value of being taller than most of the other kids, and Lloyd can’t help but be grateful as she tugs him in front of her, letting him escape the bus first. This last about half a second, because he immediately comes face-to-face with their teacher.

“Uh. Hi,” Lloyd says, weakly, as the teacher frowns at him.

“I don’t remember you,” he mutters glancing down at his clipboard, where he’s been checking off students. “Do you sit toward the back?”

“Ah, no, sorry, he’s with us!” Rachel says quickly, coming to his rescue. “He’s a visitor, just checking out the school, y’know?”

The teacher narrows his eyes. “Is that so,” he says, and Lloyd shrinks under his gaze. “And you’re who, now?”

“He’s my cousin,” Brad answers for him. “Luh — Floyd. Floyd…Calrissian?”

Rachel makes a muffled sound of agonized exasperation. Lloyd has to violently stifle the urge to stomp on Brad’s foot.

“Yeah, Floyd,” Brad nods, steamrolling ahead. “He lives out of city, in, um…“

“Ignacia,” Lloyd says, seizing on the name.

“Ignacia, yeah!” Brad snaps his fingers. “You know how it is there, real small town. He’s checking out schools here, so I thought I’d…bring him along…for the day.”

The teacher stares at them all for a beat, then shakes his head, looking uninterested. “You’re supposed to check him in, you know, but we’re already here. Nothing for it now. Keep an eye on him, Tudabone. Miss Lennox, you keep an eye on them both.”

“Yes, sir,” Rachel says, ignoring the face Brad’s making. “Thanks, sir.”

She seizes both their arms, dragging them away before Brad can make any kind of undoubtedly snarky remark. Lloyd’s too relieved to be out of the teacher’s stare to complain about being manhandled — he hadn’t realized how much he didn’t like teachers. Real good to know that he’s scarred for life thanks to Darkley’s, apparently.

“I thought you were gonna be from Metallonia,” Rachel hisses at him as they pass through the sliding doors, interrupting his train of thought.

Lloyd bristles. “I blanked, okay? It was the first thing I could think of on the spot. At least I did better than Brad.” He glares at him. “Lafloyd? That’s my name now?”

“It’s better than whatever you could come up with,” Brad shoots.

“Really?” Rachel turns on Brad. “‘Cause — Floyd Calrissian? Seriously? And you gave me heck for wanting to call him Luke.”

“Whatever, Miss Lennox, snooty teacher’s pet—”

“Oh, just ‘cause I didn’t spray-paint the teacher’s lounge—”

“Hey, here’s a fun idea, why don’t you drop it.” Lloyd glares at them both, immediately silencing them. Rachel makes a face, but her cheeks darken, and Brad glances at the floor. Lloyd watches his sneakers on the linoleum, where bright colored solar systems have been inlaid in fun little patterns.

“Lafloyd is a funny nickname,” Rachel suddenly remarks, quietly.

Lloyd stares at her, hoping it conveys the utter, crushing betrayal. Rachel just grins brightly back at him.

“Lafloyd Calrissian, from Metallnacia,” Brad snickers, and Lloyd feels a headache coming on.

At least it’s not Lloydkins, he tries to convince himself. Floyd is not the most awful option here. It could be worse.

*********

The planetarium is actually pretty cool, more so than Brad was selling it as when he termed it “the most boring school trip conceived”. The domed, dark room is quiet and comfortable, and Lloyd could go for a really long nap in here, if time permitted. But then the ceiling lights up in constellations and the teacher starts introducing some visiting Serpentine professor, and Lloyd figures taking another nap would probably be rude. He’s here to hang out with Brad and Rachel, after all, he can’t sleep through the whole thing.

Plus, astronomy is fun, now that he’s getting to actually learn about it from a nice planetarium seat, as opposed to hurtling through space on a nindroid spaceship in a desperate attempt to stop the Overlord from ending the world.

Not that it’s going to stop him from bragging about it.

“I’ve been on an asteroid,” Lloyd remarks under his breathe, as the professor starts detailing the orbital paths of comets. “It’s not as cool as it sounds.”

Rachel chokes where she’s sitting beside him, coughing out what might be a laugh. Brad stares at him, before casting his eyes to the ceiling digging his hands in his hair. “Of course you have,” he mutters. “Why not. Been to six different realms, what’s one asteroid?”

“You’ve been to other realms?!” Rachel hisses, looking equal parts flabbergasted and wildly interested. “Which ones? What were they like? Did you make it to that one that’s supposed to have fire-breathing dogs?”

“Shh!”

All three of them shrink in their seats as the teacher hushes them. Lloyd swaps looks with Brad, who’s already smirking at the familiarity.

Lloyd grins back, a bubble of happiness rising in his chest. His recently-rebuilt friendship with Brad has been slow-going at best — mostly because of how busy Lloyd’s schedule always is — and he’s been quietly fearing that the bridge their friendship was built on might’ve been a little too burned to build back. That there’s too much distance between them now, with how different their lives are.

It’s nice to proven wrong, he thinks. In fact, this entire field trip thing was a good idea, in hindsight. He’s having a pretty good—

The back door slams open with an almighty crash, and several shrieks ring out as a frazzled, deranged-looking man in a stained lab coat stands highlighted in the doorway, one accusing finger pointed toward the Serpentine lecturer.

“And you thought you could escape me, you halfwit snake.”

—oh for crying out loud.

“You,” the lecturer says, his face paling as he takes a noticeable step back. “You’re supposed to be in prison.”

“It didn’t agree with me,” the man cackles, his expression manic under the spiraling lights of the solar system. Brad and Rachel’s classmates are rooted to their seats, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes like some terrible soap opera. Their teacher’s kind of just gaping at the entire thing, like he can’t believe this is happening. Lloyd can completely sympathize.

“Should we call the police?” Brad whispers uncertainly, his eyes wide.

“No way, the police are useless,” Rachel hisses back. “Lloyd, use your zappy power-thing.”

The crazy guy continues before Lloyd can form a response. “So you’ve regressed to teaching now, have you? How the mighty have fallen.” A leer drags up the corners of his mouth, and Lloyd’s hair stands on end. Nope, he doesn’t like that—

“Luckily for you, I perfected the serum even without your help,” the guy continues, and the lecturer makes a strangled sound of horror as he pulls out a syringe. “Or unluckily for you, I should say."

The deranged man then grins, looking entirely too unhinged, and Lloyd’s stomach drops. He’s on his feet before his brain can catch up, ignoring Brad and Rachel’s yelps of alarm as instinct wired into his limbs drives him towards the guy before he can do anything, because Lloyd knows that look and he’s definitely going to do something—

“This is the turning point, old friend,” Crazy Guy hisses. “Now, no one will ignore me, ever again!”

He raises his hand, the syringe glinting in the dim lights of the planetarium. Lloyd puts on a burst of speed, mere yards from the guy, if he can just—

“Lloyd, wait!”

The man slams the needle into his arm, injecting the vivid purple right into his bloodstream. Lloyd reaches him just as the last of the liquid’s draining, launching himself from the top of one of the seats as a student screams, and kicks the syringe into an arching spiral away from his arm.

Oh, mistake. Big mistake. The guys gives a loud shriek, and the slight change in air pressure is all the warning Lloyd gets.

He whips back around to the students, eyes wide as he screams a warning. “Get down—!”

There’s a spectacular purple flash, and Lloyd goes flying, hurtling backward and smashing through an entire row of seats. This wouldn’t be so bad, except then his head cracks against something entirely too solid, and Lloyd’s vision goes out in bright, incredibly painful fireworks.

On second thought, this was a bad idea, is his last conscious thought, before the fireworks go dark.

*********

Lloyd jolts back into awareness to a throbbing pain in his head, and a feeling similar to someone trying to tear his arms off. He moans, blinking hazily as sound filters back in with consciousness, the unfortunately familiar sound of panicked screaming and destruction filling his ears.

That’s a bad sign, he thinks dizzily.

“Oh, thank FSM — he’s waking up! Lloyd, Lloyd, can you hear me?”

Brad finishes this last statement by yelling it in his face, and Lloyd flinches back, his head pounding.

“Stop that, you’re hurting him!”

He registers that as Rachel’s voice, coming from near his left side. He cracks his eyes back open, trying to get his bearings, and realizes that he’s being dragged forward. The pressure on his arms must be Rachel and Brad’s grip where they’ve got them slung over their own shoulders, they’re hauling him away from — from what?

“The crazy scientist guy lost it,” Rachel explains, her breath coming in sharp pants. “I think he’s got some big grudge against the lecturer, or something? Like, really intense drama—”

“That’s not the point!” Brad hisses. “He just turned himself into a freaky lizard monster, how are you not focusing on that?”

“Details are important!” Rachel snaps back, flinching as something explodes from behind them.

Lloyd blinks again, trying to get his dazed brain to work with him again. His first thought is, I didn’t know I was Spider-Man.

His second thought is that he needs to get with the program, now.

“Where’d’e go,” Lloyd slurs out as he yanks his arms from their hold, stumbling briefly before he finds his balance. He wavers as a searing pain slices through his head, and he grits his teeth, pressing a hand to his temple as he takes quick inventory. Other than his head, everything else seems to be in working order, he finds with relief.

Which is a really good thing, because it sounds like mutated science guy is about to try and start snacking on high school students like popcorn shrimp.

“He’s still back in the show room, but — Lloyd, you need to sit down,” Rachel says, her hands flitting toward his head anxiously.

“Yeah, you hit your head bad,” Brad echoes, his eyes wide. “I mean, the crack was epic, but you were passed out for like, ten minutes or so, which is bad.”

“M’fine,” Lloyd waves them off, blinking in an attempt to get the room to stop spinning. “Everything’s gonna be fine. Here,” he shoves his phone into Brad’s hand. “Call the guys if I’m not back in fifteen, okay?”

Brad and Rachel stare at him like he’s lost his mind, their eyes wide and faces pale. Which is rude, they could at least try and have some confidence.

“Lloyd—”

“I got this,” he says, and gives them a thumbs-up. Or he’s pretty sure he does, his vision is still doing that weird wobbling thing again. “I do this like, every day, guys. Just get somewhere safe, okay?”

Before either of them can protest, Lloyd takes off sprinting back to the show room, where the worst of the roaring is coming from. He grinds his teeth as another chorus of screams ring out, green light already flashing at his fingertips.

No luck. He’s got no luck at all.

*********

“We’re so dead.”

Rachel doesn’t even respond. She’s just standing there, rooted to the floor while their classmates run screaming past them for the doors, her fists clenched.

“His team’s totally gonna kill us,” Brad continues, trying to stifle mounting panic. “Kai’s gonna roast me alive. We’re gonna die.”

Rachel still doesn’t answer, staring after where Lloyd disappeared, her jaw working.

Brad shakes his head, flinching as another roar echoes from the back. “Let’s go.” They should probably at least honor Lloyd’s final wishes, he thinks, dizzily.

Rachel shakes her head. Brad’s stomach begins to sink.

“Rae, come on,” he implores. “We gotta go, Lloyd said—”

“No,” Rachel cuts over him, and Brad’s stomach finishes sinking right to his shoes. There’s something dangerously stubborn in her eyes. “We can’t just abandon him,” she continues. “Friends don’t leave other friends to fight crazy mutant lizard monsters on their own.”

Brad gapes at her. “Uh, yeah they do, if one friend is a super-powered ninja, and the other two are just average joes!”

Rachel whirls on him, and his sputtering dies in face of her glare. “Brad, it’s just Lloyd, all on his own! And he’s already concussed, he needs our help!”

“What help?” Brad throws his arms out, helplessly. “What are we even supposed to do?! We don’t! Have! Powers!”

A high-pitched explosion echoes from the back, as if to emphasize his point.

“Didn’t you go to a school for evil masterminds?” Rachel snaps back, and Brad flinches. “Use your brain, come up with something!”

Brad sputters at her, but she’s darting off before he can reply, fiddling with something on the wall. Brad fists his hands in his hair in frustration, trying to formulate an explanation that while he did, of course, go to a school for evil kids, he never actually got to the part where they taught him how to fight, much less defeat giant mutated lizards, and he has no idea what to do about it. If they were going to be of any help to Lloyd, they needed to make sure they weren’t giant liabilities, first off, and then they’d have to find out what the scientist had actually done to himself, and if there was a way to reverse it.

“And we’re gonna have to — holy FSM, is that an axe?”

“Yup,” Rachel says, testing the weight and swinging it briefly. “It is.”

“Where did you get an axe?!”

“From the glass box for fires and emergencies, duh.” She swings it again for emphasis, then nods in satisfaction. Brad jumps a foot back.

“Don’t you want to be a doctor?” he yelps. “What happened to ‘do no harm’?”

“That thing is trying to eat Lloyd,” she snaps. “So yeah, I’m gonna do some harm. Are you coming or not?”

Another explosion goes off from the halls inside the planetarium, and two of the kids on the basketball team run by screaming. Rachel blows her breath out, sets her jaw, hoists the axe and takes off after the high-pitched sound of Lloyd’s powers.

Brad looks at the exit, then back at the hallway of doom. He brings his foot down hard, and groans. “I — you — gah, we’re so gonna die.”

He grabs the fire extinguisher and heads after his friends.

*********

On the bright side of things, Lloyd’s managed to get all the high schoolers and their dumbstruck teacher out of the show room, and hopefully they’re now running to safety. He got the poor lecturer out too, even if it was a ridiculously close call and he’s gonna look like a rabid lizard attacked his right shoulder the next two weeks. Now the only ones duking it out in the room are Lloyd and Mr. Crazy Lizard Guy, so the chances of collateral have gone down, at least.

On the significantly less bright side, Lloyd might actually be losing this fight. He’s not sure, because the room’s pretty dark and the only real light is from some distant solar system the ceiling’s still whirling them through — which is really not helping with his headache, or spinning vision — but the fact that Lloyd, trained ninja that he is, hasn’t already obliterated this desk-job half-insane scientist is a bad sign.

As it turns out, fighting half-concussed just isn’t Lloyd’s strongest point. Which is dumb, because you’d think that by now, he’d at least be used to it.

“Infuriating child, why won’t you die—!”

Lloyd yelps, twisting aside as the mutated lizard-guy takes another swipe at him, razor-sharp claws whistling through the air where his head just was. Lloyd powers up a burst of green to retaliate, only to look back up and find that there are now three lizard monsters swimming in his vision, warping and swaying like snakes.

He shakes his head, desperately trying to re-focus, but it’s a fatal hesitation. The next swipe lands solidly against his side, and Lloyd cries out in alarm as he’s sent flying again, slamming into the auditorium seats before tumbling to the floor.

“Ow,” he coughs into the carpet, propping himself up with his arms and trying not to throw up. He’s going to feel this tomorrow — and look it too, probably. Man, the others are gonna kill him—

Scaled claws suddenly slam into the floor next to him, and Lloyd yelps, flinching back and craning his head upwards.

“Next time, know your place,” Crazy Guy hisses through jagged teeth, eyes flashing in deadly intent. Lloyd’s brain slams into panicked instinct, and he grasps at his powers, preparing to blast the entire room—

Thwack.

Lloyd stares with dinner-plate-sized eyes as Rachel appears from nowhere, swinging an axe straight into the mutated man’s raised arm with a wild shriek and a startling amount of force.

“Go to hell, you maniac—!”

Her next hit finds a shoulder, and before Lloyd can blink the guy’s scaly right arm is gashed open, his mouth open in an agonized howl as he staggers back. Rachel’s eyes are wild as she gasps heavily, brandishing the axe like a baseball player gearing up to swing. Lloyd manages to gape for a good three seconds before someone’s hands are pulling him to his feet, dragging him back.

“Move, move you moron!” Brad’s yelling, as he slings Lloyd’s arm around his shoulder and retreats. It takes Lloyd another second to realize he’s not yelling at him.

Rachel is still staring at the monster, her face pale and axe held aloft, frozen by shock. Or terror, either one’s fair game.

Lloyd snaps himself out of it, shrugging off Brad as the world swims again. He darts forward, grabs Rachel by the hand and pulls. He snags Brad as they go, hauling tail away from the still-howling scientist and throwing them behind the control podium at the back of the room, just barely sliding in behind them and out of lizard guy’s sight.

“We’re gonna die,” Brad gasps, his dark hair a frazzled mess. “It’s been real nice knowing you guys, we had a good run—”

“We are not gonna die,” Lloyd hisses, blinking black dots from his vision, That’s probably a bad sign. He shakes his head, fixing them both with a glare. “What are you guys doing?! I told you to get somewhere safe!”

“What, and let you die?” Rachel whispers back hotly, her hands still shaking around the axe she’s clutching, an odd green liquid dripping from the blade that Lloyd doesn’t wanna think about right now. “You were getting trashed out there!”

“No I wasn’t!” Lloyd defends. “I was just—”

“You think you can stop me?!” Crazy Guy’s voice roars across the room, and Lloyd pulls Brad and Rachel closer to him, ducking down lower. “Insignificant children, you’ll be the first to fall to my reign!”

“Wow, he’s really gone off the deep end,” Brad mutters, as if that, of all things, has jolted him from his ‘we’re gonna die’ mindset.

“I told you, huge grudge,” Rachel murmurs back.

Lloyd briefly wonders just how, exactly, he managed to end up with two utterly insane people as friends, then remembers who he is.

“Okay,” he breathes, pressing a hand to his throbbing head again and squeezing his eyes shut. “Plan. Need a plan. Um.”

“We got one,” Brad offers, exchanging looks with Rachel. “Uh, sort of.”

Lloyd looks between the two of them, trying to ignore how they suddenly blur into four of them.

Rachel makes a face. “Brad’s going to hack the light system and we’re going to get really, really annoying.”

Lloyd stares at them. “Absolutely not.”

Brad and Rachel glare back stubbornly, the planetarium lights dancing over their faces, their expressions set in shaky determination as the lizard guy continues to tear the room apart, searching for them. Lloyd’s hit by another vicious wave of anxiety. Brad and Rachel aren’t his team. They’re just — they’re just people, his friends, maybe, but civilians, he can’t ask them to—

“It’ll be fine,” Rachel assures him, the effect somewhat ruined by the manic way she’s clutching her axe. “I’ll be your eyes, so you’ll actually know where to shoot.”

“You can throw that axe at him, too,” Brad mutters, eyeing it warily.

Lloyd shakes his head. “No. No way, it’s too dangerous. You guys are gonna run, and I’m going to take care of him myself, because it’s my job.”

Brad and Rachel have those glares on again. “Sorry, Lloyd,” Brad says, with a burst of confidence Lloyd really wishes didn’t exist. “This isn’t Darkley’s. Friends don’t bail on each other. Also, you’re obviously gonna die if we don’t help out. No offense.”

Lloyd puffs his cheeks up with air, then slowly blows his breath out. This is an awful idea.

But he’s to the point where he’d admit that he’s concussed to Nya, and that means he needs all the help he can get.

“Okay,” he sighs, heavily. “Okay, but one rule — you are all staying far behind me.”

*********

Rachel breaks the rule in the first five seconds, but it’s only to stop Lloyd’s skull from getting banged up any further, so he’ll let it slide for the time being.

Also, he’s too busy trying to listen to her harried shouts over Crazy Guy’s enraged screaming to be mad at her now.

“Five — no, six o’clock!” she shrieks at him, tugging on his shoulder to move them out of the way. “Six o’clock, ten feet!”

Screwing his eyes shut against the dizzying lights, Lloyd hurls a streaking ball of energy where Rachel’s told him, and is rewarded with a screeching cry of pain.

“Nice!” Lloyd winces as Rachel yells directly in his ear. “Sorry, sorry — you hit him dead on!”

“Please tell me he’s down.”

“Uh, I think he might — oh, nope, he’s getting back up, but he looks a little dizz—yyyy duck, duck!”

Lloyd grabs for Rachel’s hand and pulls her down with him, sending them both sprawling across the floor as a something large whistles overhead.

“He’s tearing up the seats and throwing them at us,” Rachel pants, sounding indignant. She’s got a death grip on his hand, which might hurt if she wasn’t shaking like she’d shotgunned energy drinks.

Lloyd gets it, even if his adrenaline high of terror is more because he still can’t see straight.

He can see enough to tell that the lights of the planetarium are still going berserk above them, flashing from panel to panel and lighting up the dark room in a dizzying kaleidoscope of changing skies. It’d be super cool if it wasn’t one) really disorienting, and two) taking place while a mutated monster of doom tries to murder high schoolers.

“Guys, get up!” Brad’s scream echoes from the control podium, where he’s spinning them through Ninjago’s nearest satellites now. Lloyd feels the floor vibrating a second before the lizard monster comes barreling toward them, screeching in fury. Rachel sucks in a sharp breath of horror, and Lloyd’s stomach drops as he runs into another row of chairs. Reacting half on instinct, he grasps Rachel by the arm, pulls her close, and gasps out a ‘hold on’ — then, briefly siphoning the green power — tosses her straight up in the air, soaring inches from the ceiling.

Lloyd barely registers Brad swearing in shock as Rachel screams, but he’s too busy counting the seconds as the lizard monster charges him.

One, two—

Lloyd sidesteps, wind whistling past him as he narrowly avoids being pummeled again—

Three, four—

Lloyd sends two screeching bursts of energy into the monster’s back, a howl of pain missing with a sizzling sound as he goes flying across the room—

Five—

Lloyd skids back into place, and throws his arms out just in time to catch Rachel as she comes screaming back down.

“Sorry,” he pants, carefully setting her on her feet. She’s rattling in place like a wind-up toy now, but Lloyd can just see her giving him a shaky thumbs-up through his spinning vision.

“L-little more warning, next time,” she gasps, sounding winded. “Would be nice.”

Lloyd feels a flash of guilt bubble up, followed by a helpless burst of frustration. She shouldn’t be anywhere remotely near this kind of situation, neither her or Brad — they’re his normal friends, he’s supposed to go on dumb boring field trips with them, not blow up half a planetarium in a fight for their lives.

Rachel suddenly goes rigid, then grabs his shoulders and pulls him back. “He’s up!” she yelps. “He’s coming, he’s rushing us—”

Lloyd can see that, through the dizzying lights of the nearest solar system. “Get behind me!” he orders, just in time to get sent flying by a torn-up chair the guy’s chucked at them.

A litany of curses streams through his brain as both him and Rachel cry out, and Lloyd barely has the sense of mind to wrap himself around her before they slam back into the floor, rolling several feet before Lloyd’s head slams right against the stairs with another solid crack.

So many aspirin, he thinks faintly, as the world pulses in and out in dizzying flashes of white. Gonna need so many aspirin tonight.

“—et up, Lloyd, come on—”

That’s Rachel’s voice, a vaguely functioning part of his brain notes. She sounds upset, all scared and worried, which is…that’s bad, right? Lloyd’s not sure, there are like, five of her all up in his face right now—

A roar sounds closely behind her, and Rachel’s expressions spasms in panic. Lloyd’s vision finally solidifies just in time fore her to throw herself over him, and panic screeches everything back into awareness, but it’s too late because the lizard monster’s right on top of them—

Another solid crack rings out across the room, but this time it’s not Lloyd’s head. Crazy Guy howls in pain as he staggers back, clutching his head where the fire extinguisher struck his temple. Lloyd stares blankly as Rachel shakily lifts her head, before Brad’s suddenly in front of them, grabbing them both by the arms and struggling to haul them up.

“Get up!” he yells, dark eyes wide but glinting in determination. “Don’t just lay there, you’re the green ninja, come on!”

“Shu’up,” Lloyd slurs, but Brad’s words are enough to cut through the hazy film inside his head. He staggers to his feet, highly conscious of Brad and Rachel supporting both arms. This is beyond humiliating, what kind of—

“Children.” The guttural hiss has all three of them freezing in place, hair standing on end as lizard-like eyes pin them in place, glinting yellow in the flashing lights. “All of you, infuriating bugs to be crushed beneath my feet. Your deaths will be the first in my new reign—”

Irritating monologuing aside, Lloyd can’t help but be grateful for the way the guy pauses to detail their deaths, because it gives him a split, beautiful second of clarity to finally send a concussive blast of green hurtling dead on. There’s a high-pitched shriek as it sends him flying, hurtling across the room and smashing into the bottom edge of the planetarium screen with a blinding burst of sparks.

“Now that’s more like it!” Brad crows, watching as the lizard guy flops to the floor. “That’s what you get for messing with us, you ugly—”

The lizard guy pushes himself to his feet, briefly swaying dizzily before turning furious, burning eyes on them.

Brad swallows. “Did I say ugly? Actually—”

Lloyd’s already gearing up for another round, green sparks lighting on his fingers as Rachel brings her axe up again — when an ominous cracking sounds from above them. Lloyd glances up, the frantic flashing of the cracking planetarium screen nearly blinding him, and his eyes go wide.

“Get down!” he cries, pulling Brad and Rachel and diving beneath the control podium. And not a moment too soon, because in the next second the entire planetarium screen comes crashing down with an exploding screech, large chunks of mangled ceiling smashing down on the guy, pinning him firmly in place.

Lloyd, firmly crushed between Brad and Rachel, but otherwise spared any further head trauma by the solid control panel sheltering them, gives a shuddering exhale of relief.

“Well,” Rachel finally says, with a shaky laugh. “You probably won’t have to worry about boring field trips here anymore, Brad.”

Brad makes a pained, weary sound of exhaustion, and simply buries his face in Lloyd’s shoulder.

*********

Lloyd’s used to the after-battle adrenaline crash, for the most part. Brad and Rachel, as it turns out, are not. Five minutes after the paramedics have stopped fussing over them, leaving all three wrapped in the ugliest orange shock blankets Lloyd’s ever seen, there’s a sudden weight on both of his shoulders. Lloyd blinks, his head swiveling to where Brad and Rachel are snoring on either side of him, then sighs, staring upwards. At least they’re warm, he tells himself, even though it’s starting to get hot under the shock blanket.

Despite the screaming sirens all around him and the frantic voices of the students, Lloyd’s almost tempted to drift off himself. With the loss of adrenaline, his head’s really starting to hurt by now, and the flashing lights of the ambulance aren’t helping his headache in the slightest. He’s just deciding that dozing off with his friends is a good idea, when a familiar sigh has him yanking his eyes open.

Lloyd immediately wants to close them again. Kai and Nya are standing in front of him, arms crossed in identical expressions of disappointment, though it’s tinged mild amusement.

“Hi,” he croaks. He glances between Brad and Rachel, still snoring peacefully against his shoulders. Traitors. “Um. You got my text, then?”

Nya gives him a careful, judging look. “A month. You’re grounded for a month, at least.”

“Oh, come on,” Lloyd moans. “I was living my teenage years. Having a normal day.”

Kai snorts loudly, glancing back at the smoke still rising from the planetarium. “Totally normal teenage stuff, huh.”

Lloyd drops his head back, squeezing his eyes shut. “S’not fair,” he moans. “It’s not my fault trouble’s always following me.”

Nya’s expression eases up, and she shakes her head, uncrossing her arms. “Hey, we’ll have a normal evening back at home, okay?” She eyes Brad and Rachel, her lips quirking in amusement. “You can have a sleepover with your friends, or something. I’ll braid your hair.”

While the idea of anyone going remotely near his head sounds awful right now, Lloyd can’t help but smile back.

“Sounds like a plan,” he yawns. Anything to get them out of this parking lot. At least he knows what he’s missing out on with school, now.

Really, he doesn’t get the hype.

#ninjago oc day #ninjago #the physical agony...of posting something with my oc...#i would say at least lloyd's having fun but. he's not gdbnjfg #my fic

207 notes · View notes

cattles-bians · 3 years

Text

damie vibecca exes au part 21

post directory

em: viola and becs love their lil hikes

em: oh actually did we already designate hiking as a damie thing

em: hmm.

em: yknow what damie and vibecca can both enjoy their weekend hikes

em: they bring isabel and she’s RUNNING up the path and tires herself out in 10 minutes and rebecca and viola swap out piggybacking her

obsetress: yeah it tracks because they both like fitness and viola likes her walks

obsetress: plus viola's like "it's good for isabel"

em: vibecca power lesbians love the challenging trails and damie just enjoy the sights

obsetress: dani venting to jamie one night: they don't even LIKE hiking, but they still had to do the blackjack loop, and WE won't even do the blackjack loop,

em: dani and her fanny packs... every time she sees isabel on a trail she like

em: stuffs her pockets w granola akdhdkfhdj

em: drives viola NUTS she’s like we packed our Own snacks

obsetress: dani gets SO excited

---

obsetress: man i love these lil gay bitches

obsetress: no but um

obsetress: jamie gets in some fight w rebecca early on after they've reconnected

obsetress: prob about her dating vi tbh

obsetress: and jamie's so put off by the whole thing and is ranting to dani about it and dani's all like "you just need to have better boundaries, jamie, they're her choices, aren't they? not yours"

obsetress: and jamie just stares at her like.........................................

obsetress: "dani, you literally continued hooking up with viola for weeks after you broke up"

"oh, c'mon jamie, it wasn't weeks"

"no?"

"it was months"

em: dani shooting herself in the foot to like. correct jamie is so funny

em: not even ‘no that’s different’ or ‘no i’ve changed’ like ‘actually it was months’

obsetress: she says it w such a lil pleased smile on her face too

---

obsetress:

obsetress: like who the FUCk gave her the right???

obsetress: a whole babe

obsetress: she didn't need to smirk like this

em: god she’s so Hot

obsetress: just think about all the times she and viola get into the banter

obsetress: and this exact face

em: i know we veered dramatically into soft territory w exes au but vi extremely stubborn lloyd and rebecca lawyer do no harm take no shit jessel truly. have some spectacular arguments

obsetress: they have absolute blowouts

obsetress: and then blowouts after the blowouts iywkim

obsetress: like dani's do no harm take no shit but she and vi also enable the SHIT out of each other

em: like dani tried but dani wasnt like. fully baked yet

obsetress: yeah! and then when she finally does and breaks up with her, she's back in her bed a few weeks later

obsetress: rebecca is the first person to not take viola's shit and to tell her no and viola can't fucking stand it

em: jamies convinced it’s a ruse for more make up sex

obsetress: dani's like "no, babe, trust me, i know what that looks like and this––"

"wot"

"what?"

em: dani (hushed) no she’s regular mad this isn’t fun mad

em: jamie (hushed but incredulous) FUN MAD?!

obsetress: please tell me how dani explains fun mad

em: a lil eyebrow waggle and a wink but then i like

em: thought abt her going to lift jamie up on a bench ‘well she kinda’

---

obsetress: the way rebecca looks at peter when he is (seemingly) (unfortunately) good w the kids has me thinking about like

obsetress: rebecca seeing vi w isabel for the first time and just

em: turns out the evil landlord shes banging is also…… soft

obsetress: rebecca and jamie on the phone and rebecca's like "i know she's... a landlord and all, but you should've seen her with isabel"

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me, becs––"

"no, maybe you're too quick to write her off. maybe people can be more than one thing"

and jamie just groans

em: poor jamie and her class traitor ex gf

em: blows kiss to rebecca

---

em: dani: i gotta go to the bathroom i’ll be right back

em: jamie: ok love

em: dani; (elbows jamie) ive Gotta Go To The B

obsetress: screamed

obsetress: dani trips over her own feet as she gets up to go

obsetress: then i just start thinking about dani absolutely pouncing on jamie the second they get into the bathroom and then i just start thinking about. how often that happens

obsetress: bathrooms or closets or wherever else

em: dani has this 6th sense for places to sneak off to

obsetress: god she DOES

obsetress: she's so good at it

em: she enters a new building and is taking lil notes just in case

obsetress: meanwhile rebecca and viola exchanging a look while they wait, knowing EXACTLY where they're going

em: viola leaning in like how much time do we have and becs is like vi. where’s your decorum

em: then she looks down at her watch and lists it down to the second

obsetress: she pauses

obsetress: then

obsetress: "and another six minutes if––" and vi's like "she'll want to go again"

em: viola buffing her nails on her blazer: she’ll want to go again

obsetress: rebecca rolls her eyes but she's grinning

obsetress: "you're all too smug" "me? smug?" becs just shakes her head and tugs her in by the lapels of her blazer

em: damie coming back to a fairly chaste vibecca kiss: BLEH can you guys GET A ROOM

obsetress: rebecca's just verly placidly like

obsetress: "dani, your zipper is still down, by the way"

em: dani; thanks :)

---

em: dani clayton voice i’m braver and severely Weirder than ppl think

obsetress: she's a bit of a weirdo

em: see now i’m thinking about dani glancing away going dang i thought i was keeping it under wraps

obsetress: ngl i think about that a lot like

obsetress: she IS a weirdo but what does jamie know

obsetress: that she's like yeah she's a fucking weirdo

obsetress: like she's anxious and jumpy but jamie wouldn't call that weird

obsetress: what did she know and when did she know it

em: i’m thinking about jamie catching dani doing something like. idk eating a burger layer by layer or w a knife and fork and going

em: what a freak. i’m gonna marry her

em: dani tells jamie no this is a normal american thing and then when they go to vermont jamie realises no this absolutely is not

obsetress: she says something about it and dani doesn't even remember saying it in the first place

obsetress: "i didn't say that"

"you literally did say that"

"why would i say that"

(jamie taylor eyebrow raise) "you tell me"

(dani clayton flush and stutter) "i–– i..."

em: dani mumbles something like i didn’t think it’d pan out like this i just wanted the cool gardener to think i was. semi normal

em: jamie waggles her eyebrows like cool gardener???

obsetress: dani bumps her shoulder into jamie's "shut up"

"don't think i will, actually"

em: jamie starts to v seriously eat her burger layer by layer. danis like ‘ur taking the mick!’ and jamies like (sheepish) naw i just. wanted to see what it’s like

---

em: every so often they’ll run into someone who went to school w jamie or knew her as a youth and they’re like ‘wow you’ve mellowed out heaps’

em: therapy queen

em: theyre in a pub and someone’s like ‘as i live and breathe! jamie taylor! i heard you died! someone told me you were arrested for (crime that becomes bigger and more outlandish w every new person)’ and jamies like ‘aye’ and they’re like

em: all sharing a beer at a quaint little pub n this old acquaintance from before has these v chaotic stories and danis like

em: jamie? my jamie? u must be confused. jamie goes to bed at 9:30pm watching antiques roadshow

obsetress: jamie just grins a lil

em: danis like haha jamie wow ur so mysterious and (she is already casing the joint for places to sneak off too)

---

em: damvibecca sittin in a circle passing a joint around

em: a nice thought

obsetress: Wholesome

obsetress: dani falls asleep first, with her head in jamie's lap and they're all just kinda vibin and rebecca gets up to get her a blanket or smth and vi's just kinda like

obsetress: "you're really good for her, you know"

obsetress: all quiet and pensive

em: jamie takes a loooooonng pause and she’s like. i was sceptical but. you’re good for becs too

em: and then even quieter she’s like

em: thanks

em: the softest thank u from one jamie taylor

obsetress: rebecca gets back and looks back n forth between the two of them

"why are you two being weird"

"we're not–- what?"

"we're just sitting here, baby"

obsetress: rebecca narrows her eyes

---

obsetress: jamie likes vi for becs because vi reminds her to live a little

obsetress: and can also keep up with her temperament because holy shit did jamie hate all of becca's bougie shit

em: jamie absolutely has um

em: like a repairs pile that shes gonna get around to Some Day re fixin clothes etc and

em: as much as i love 'rebecca and jamie worlds most calm and collected no drama couple' im defs toying with like

em: their ONE Big fight is beccs throws out the repairs pile

obsetress: "i was gonna––"

"no you WEREN'T, jamie!"

em: jamies like i The Tool I Needed is outta stock i had to- and becs is like? what, like you couldnt make do?

em: and even then when the heat dies down its still v calm and civil but like

em: FINALLY a lil dramatic angle to jamie rebecca

em: dani loves the repairs pile bc she loves a project

obsetress: she's also very content to let jamie have her silly little thing

obsetress: because it doesn't bother her and jamie is very good at keeping it in her space

obsetress: rebecca asks her about it one day and dani's like "oh i'm just glad she has a hobby :)"

em: couple times jamie's like. shes been tryna repair this one chair for months and eventually shes like

em: (swings axe) winters coming

obsetress: dani just watches with the dopiest grin

obsetress: jamie's all wot

obsetress: and dani's like

obsetress: :) you're hot :)

em: danis like hey i know its a brisk autumn but um

em: if u wanna

em: mimes taking shirt off

obsetress: jamie does it

obsetress: jamie rolling her eyes as she unbuttons the top couple buttons then tugs her shirt over her head

obsetress: but she's grinning

obsetress: dani sneaking up behind her as she's sorting the wood and just leaning into her bare back

obsetress: jamie jumps "oi!" and dani grins and nuzzles between her shoulders

---

obsetress: been having so many becca feelings in our rewatch

em: oh gosh

em: i love her she truly is a tragic character

obsetress: same

obsetress: i just want her to live happily ever after in her lil power lesbian outfits with her lil power lesbian wife

obsetress: like she needs someone who can MATCH her

obsetress: her energy and her intensity and her passion

obsetress: and like she and jamie can push each other to be better but jamie’s just kinda like “lemme chill n do my gay little tasks” yknow

em: ya and like they Worked but they worked Much better as friends than anything romantic

em: jamies the lesbian best friend that’s like girl. stop settling for mediocre men with accents

obsetress: yeah!

em: jamie ‘how soon is too soon to ask out my good friend rebecca jessel after her v messy break up w peter quint’ taylor

em: and then rebecca ends up being the one like ‘have you ever thought about us?’ while jamies agonising over it like four months later

em: rebeccas a little go getter and jamie needs a little bit of a shove sometimes

obsetress: jamie, surrounded by three shovers,

obsetress: rebecca says it so casually over dinner like she’s talking about the weather and jamie’s like !?

obsetress: i can also see like

obsetress: rebecca says that bit about "have you ever thought about us" at dinner and jamie blanches and second guesses everything they do "is....... is this a date" becca just shrugs "do you want it to be?"

em: jamies motormouthing like ok but i cannot stress enough that i was comforting you about ur break up in a friend way no ulterior motives way i am ur friend first and foremost and rebecca just like

em: lets her get it out of her system

em: ‘well what about my ulterior motives’

obsetress: she WOULD

obsetress: "did you ever consider that maybe i had ulterior motives"

em: jamie: (pursing her lips, furrowing her brow that way she does) you had a messy break up with peter quint….. to seduce me.

em: rebecca: mmhmm

obsetress: jamie: me?

obsetress: rebecca: well, maybe a couple of reasons, but... yeah. you were up there

---

em: after i asked out [ex] i spent ages agonising over when it would be appropriate to kiss her (i know...) and then one night at a party she’s like ‘so why haven’t u kissed me yet?’ and i’m like are u fucken. mate it takes two to tango

obsetress: oh my god?

em: drawing from that

em: jamie thinks they’re taking it slow (but not that slow) and rebecca is like girl what

em: ‘i never took you for old fashioned’

‘wot, me?’

'mmhm’

‘old fashioned?!’

‘well, you haven’t kissed me yet-‘

‘you haven't kissed me! i figured you wanted to take it slow after p-‘ and then rebecca like full on dips jamie and kisses her

em: rebeccas like always wanted to do that at least once lol

em: jamie is speechless for a couple minutes

obsetress: rEBECCA