I... I don't know what came over me, but here! Have this!

lonely, lonely little life (I could kid myself in thinking that I'm fine), 1.8k, G

Eddie is sitting on the couch, his foot elevated on a pillow that rests carefully on the coffee table and his untouched beer sitting open but warmed by time, when he hears a knock at his door.

For a moment, he wants to ignore it, to pretend he isn’t home to answer or that maybe the pain medicine he’s on has made him so tired he simply can’t get out of bed to answer the door. Immediately, a new wave of guilt rushes over him. He hadn’t realized he was doing it - ignoring Buck - but he was doing it even now. He wants to let Buck in and apologize; he wants Buck to come in on his own and apologize right back; he wants them to be the way they have always been. Eddie hadn’t realized when that had changed.

A minute passes while Eddie contemplates his position - in the world, in Buck’s life - and before he can force himself up off of the couch, he hears a key jumbling in the lock and then the door is open and Eddie isn’t sure he’s going to survive this.

“Eddie?” Buck calls from the door, unable to take another step inside on his own.

And guiltily, Eddie wants to leave him there. He wants Buck to think that he’s not home, that they can have this conversation another time when he doesn’t feel as much like he’s drowning, but then Buck calls for him again and he can’t stop his mouth from answering, “In here.”

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