#like up to this point she’s still like 😐😐😐 give me a job and i’ll do it what else am i good for 😐😐😐😐 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pub-lius · 2 years

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my thoughts watching the john adams series as i eat an uncomfortable amount of granola: dont tread on me 🥶🥶🥶

“you are here now 🥰 and you are safe 🥹” “uh… *leaves*”

1777 is my favorite year of the revolution tho, it was so slay ngl (totally not saying this just for von steuban)

i think john and abigail adams is good example of 18th century gender roles, where the man’s job was politics in government and the woman’s was politics in the community like social standing and all that. however it must be acknowledged that there was tension between them over these roles bc of how often john was away, which was kind of abnormal, likely bc john played so many diplomatic roles, much more than other men

“if i were a man, id be in the field of battle” idk why this made me sob. abigail knows so much about the war and what the soldiers go through, but she can only act vicariously through her husband, when this implies she really wants to do more ☹️☹️☹️☹️

IM ADDING LIKE 15 CHARLES ABUSE POINTS FOR THE SCENE WHERE JOHN AND JOHN QUINCY LEAVE BC FUCKING OWWWW charles abuse 1-15

john adams: VOMITING - john quincy: tu es 🥳 il est 🫣 elle est 🤨 je suis 🥶

omg the naval fight scene FUCKED ME UP the first time i watched it. i was like “omg his leg- OMG HIS L E G-“ and my dad was like “yeah thats what happened when you get SHOT DIRECTLY IN THE LEG WITH A CANNON”

ik this guy is having his leg chopped off and all but im just like “omg a good representation of 18th century medicine 🥰”

so uh… anyone want a granola bar?

OMG PARIS PARIS PARIS DHWJWHWJ they did it so well every time i see a scene in paris i piss my pants /pos (tmi but its that good)

bro who even liked ben franklin??? everyone who worked closely with him seemed to hate him or just tolerate him. like he’s funny, but damn bro. then again, the people i have in mind aren’t known for getting along with others, so maybe its that

i hate rich people but 1770s french aristocratic fashion… 🥵 (IM KIDDING IM SORRY DJSBWJWBWN)

“how is your french?” “uh… oh pas très bon…” “ah, that is easily remedied. you must either attend the theater or take a mistress” “DOCTOR FRANKLIN-“ me asf

im so shit at french, i cant even make fun of john

the whole quote john says about “i must study politics and war so my sons can study philosophy and shit so their sons can study music and whatever” is actually pretty dope. good one johnny

“he’s worked it all out” LMFAO I LOVE THAT GUY

OMG ITS LITTLE BABY LOUIS MY LITTLE MEOW MEOW omg you cant tell me he’s not ace, he’s literally wearing purple

he’s fr me tho like. “hello dr franklin!!! you have sex!!!! weird!!!! hello other guy!!!! …😐😑😐 you don’t speak french??? 🤨 not a word??? 😕… HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA bye *flutters away*”

is that vergennes? if its vergennes i’ll shit myself rn to fully understand what its like to be an absolute BABY

BEAT HIS ASS FRANKLIN BEAT HIS ASS

oh it was vergennes. i guess im going to have to shit myself. (i fucking hate vergennes so much he’s so annoying)

string quartet 🥺

D’ESTAING????? OMG LITTLE SCRUNGLY JEJEHWWBJ such a flirt too like bro keep it in your pants

who is this other guy?? who is he. he looks like my uncle. wait is that. who is the doctor. he’s a doctor. the bloodletting guy, he’s related to the schuylers. the surgeon general who is he. HELP ME WHO IS HE????

john quincy is smarter than his dad at like 12, i’ll give him that, but what is that haircut 🤨🤨🤨

OH NO OH NO ADAMS DONT GO IN THERE NO ADAMS FRANKLINS NAKEY DONT GO IN THERE NO DONT DO IT PLS STOP PLS NO JOHN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hes dead

“i have been left kicking and writhing in the myre” you’re what 🤨

he’s right about franklin tho, he’s a shit legislator

child abuse 1: verbal abuse @ nabby who never did anything wrong.

fr tho john is being highkey negligent of his family at home like. bro you don’t have to write to your wife about politics???? just tell her you’re okay tf, she’s worried. this pisses me off as someone with a dad who couldn’t see me all the time for his work and still went out of his way to be there. so yeah, fuck you, john. fuck. you

oh god the netherlands negotiations 😒 its so painful to watch

also the dutch architecture slaps just as much as the french

“*CHOKING AND DYING*” “are you will” “*STILL CHOKING* im fine” 🤨

YAAAS SLANDER HIM FRANKLIN SLANDER HIM!!! 🤩😌😊😊🤪🥰😒🥰😜🥸😊😊🤩🙂🤪😜😒🤨

“..do you mean… have i failed here as well?” yeah, actually.

child abuse 2: sending j.q to russia when he doesn’t want to and also with that bitchass haircut

was that a duty and inclination reference 😨

#john adams #john adams series #historical drama #EW BLOODLETTING IM GONNA FUCKING VOMIT I CANNOT WITH THIS SHIT JDHDKS

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sukunasbabymama · 3 years

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Pillar.

⌗ Pairing: Sanzu Haruchiyo.

⌗ Summary: uh, idk, kind of friends to enemies to lovers(? with our pretty psycho.

⌗ Wc: 3,5k.

⌗ Warnings: Sanzu Haruchiyo😐✋🏾, also cursing, mention of killing and killing (not graphic bc of my poor English), drug-using or mention of it, suggestive at some point, domestic violence (not Sanzu doing it), psycho behavior from a psycho person duh.

You’ve been “hating” him for 12 years now, he knows this and he doesn’t give a single fuck about it.

Sanzu and you used to be friends when y’all were teenagers. Then he entered a gang but it was pretty much the same, he would go on his business and come back to you to be your pillar and vice-versa.

But then he started to be more silent, more distant until he stopped completely talking to you, going to school, everything. And what you did? Keep going on with your life, duh.

And then he appeared again in your life like two years later talking about “I’ll always be your pillar, even if you start hating me I made a promise of being your protector and—” but you throw the shoe you were wearing at him and closed the door on his face.

Since that he made his mission to let you know that he’s still very much in your life but at the same time would keep his distance. And he’s been doing that for 10 years without missing a beat. You caught a glance of him the day you graduated from college, all dressed up in an expensive suit in a corner. Occasionally your mom would tell you that she bought something expensive and you know it’s his money she’s using, you know he’s still in contact with her.

He would pop up in any bar you were having fun, it doesn’t matter if one day you decide to go to the neighbor district, he would be there in the VIP section.

But don’t get it all wrong, he doesn’t scare possible lovers or anything. If you decided to go to someone’s house for the night you would glance at him and go on your way. The next morning you would see a black car around the corner and you knew it was one of his subordinates making sure you were all right.

Still, you don’t want anything to do with him. In your point of view, he was wrong because you can’t distance yourself from someone and come back two years later talking about you being their protector. Yes, he made you a promise and you are more than aware of his reputation of being a loyal mad dog, him being your protector from the shadows was proof enough of that. But that doesn’t erase all those nights of you wondering if you did something wrong or if you were a bad friend.

In his point of view was simple: You were his angel and he didn’t want to corrupt you with the shit he started to do at that time. But then, the city started to get a little more dangerous so obviously, he needs to be at your side by all means and that’s how y’all are in this situation.

Things went downhill went you stop showing up at your job. He knew, oh, of course, he knew that, but, he gave you the benefits of the doubt by thinking you were on your vacations.

Till one day he couldn’t take it anymore and make some calls at the company you worked for and find out that you just stopped showing up two weeks ago without an excuse.

You were making some tea when loud knocks at your door snatch you out of your daydreaming. You go there and sigh.

“Who is it?” You ask in a raspy voice.

“Sanzu,” It’s all he says and for a moment you froze, thinking if is a good idea to talk to him, and not for your usual reasons.

You open the door slightly, looking at his feet.

“Look at me,” He says in a cold tone, and when you do as you’re told you can see the color draining his face. “Who—?”

“Please, it’s not the time,” You whispered, and he gently forces you to open the door more and in a quick movement he put his hands in the back of your thighs and pull you up, leaving you with the only option of wrapping them around his waist, you rest your head in the junction of his neck with his shoulder.

He walks a little bit around the house till he sees the cup of tea you were making; with your limbs wrapped around him he goes there and finishes what you were doing, now, he is with the cup in his left hand and his right hand around your low back.

“Want to go to your bedroom or the couch?” He whispers and when you answer he feels a shiver through his body with how closely you are.

“Bedroom”

When he finds it, he put the cup on the nightstand and lets you down slowly on the bed. You watch him in silence empty his pockets: pills, his gun, his wallet, the keys of the car, a knife. You look at him and just when you’re about to speak he looks at you with a hysterical look.

“I’m going to kill whoever did this to you,” You gasp, because this is the first you’ve seen him talk about murder, you knew all about his job because duh, who doesn’t know about this Bonten gang, but hearing him say that is another thing. “There’s nothing in this world that can convince me not to do it”

“Haru…”

“Who. Did. This. To. You?” He asks motioning to your face that had cuts here and there. “Are there more?”

You nod and he let out a shaky sigh and even after all these years you know that Sanzu shaking means that he was about to combust from rage.

He sits on the bed and puts his hands on the end of your hoodie, you lift your arms, letting him undress your upper body. With shaky hands, he does the same with your sweatpants and now you are in just your panties in front of your ex childhood friend.

You had bruises all over your thighs, two big ones on the sides of your abdomen, you had a cut in your lip and eyebrow and the swelling in your face was going down.

“Haru, pleas—”

“Don’t try to talk to me about what I’m going to do, all I can see right now is red Y/N,” He looks directly at your eyes. “I’m going to burn the world”

“Please…” You pull his hand softly and he understands that you weren’t trying to talk to him about his thoughts, you were asking him to act as your pillar.

He stands up and goes to the front door to lock it, then goes back and starts undressing from his suit. You are drinking your tea in silence, he added the exact amount of sugar you like. He remembers it all.

He slides under the blankets and you look down at him since now he’s on his chest looking at you and you’re sitting with the cup of tea in your hands.

“We are not friends, I don’t have to expl—” You murmur but both of you know that right now you don’t mean it.

“We are not friends, I’m your man, and that’s it,” You frown and he smiles. “I was your man when we were kids, when we were teenagers and when I wasn’t actively in your life. I will be your man till I no longer exist. You should know that by now”

You are in silence because that doesn’t sound healthy at all, but again, we are talking about Sanzu Haruchiyo, the same guy that broke your stepfather’s nose when he found out he told you that you weren’t allowed to go to the cinema with him.

“I suppose you know about the guy I been seeing lately,” You say and he nods while looking at your bruises. “They don’t hurt”

“We know they do, you’re not allowed to lie to me,” He whispers, and you nod. “Let me give you a massage while you talk”

You stretch a little bit to look into the drawer for the cream that you have been using and you give it to him. He sits straight and palms his lap, you look at hin and he looks back, expectant. With a sigh, you put the cup of tea down and straddle his lap. You let a giggle out.

“I have been hating you for 12 years and look at me, in just my panties straddling your lap,” You murmur with irony. “What a hypocrite”

“You can’t hate me, you’ve been mad for all those years because you can’t hate me no matter what,” He whispers while starting to rub the cream in your thighs softly. “Continue”

“He’s abusive, we weren’t established yet and he started to argue with me about me staying late at my job, I’m an executive at a high company, of course, I’ll do that, it’s not like I can turn down a diner with a potential client,” He nods but you know he doesn’t care about that, he wants certain information. “As you know, I’m not a social person, so when he told me out of nowhere that he wanted me to meet his friends I said no, we are not in an established relationship and he told me that several times.”

You took a second to sigh in content because he was putting the cream below your boobs, on the bruises that you have on both sides of your body. He smiles, pleased that he’s helping his angel.

“That made him really mad and he started to call me all kind of degrading names, he told me that I probably was fucking some dirty dog and that’s why I was being so difficult on meeting his friends,” Without thinking you let yourself softly fall on his chest, automatically he starts to caress your back. “I was mad and started being a brat, screaming back at him that yeah, maybe I was fucking somebody else since I’m fucking single and he slapped me, he started screaming that I should feel grateful that someone wants a useless whore like me and when I was on the ground he gave me two kicks.”

“Oh my God,” Sanzu murmured trembling from anger, it was taking everything in him not to put you aside, look for the motherfucker and put a bullet on his head.

“The next day he came and knock on my door with flowers, talking about he just lost his control but that he didn’t mean it, of course, I didn’t let him in so he’s been harassing me since then,” Sanzu put his hand on your face and pulls you back softly so you could look at his eyes. “He back off because I told him that I was a protégé of the loyal mad dog of Bonten.”

He laughs softly and kisses your forehead.

“And he believed you?”

“I pointed at the black car that you had following me all the time and he got scared and hasn’t come but keeps messaging me,” You smile between his hands.

“You knew about the cars?” He says, not a little bit ashamed of confirming that he’s been following you.

“I been knowing about them for a couple years now,” You murmur, he nods and you frown. “You left me, Sanzu”

“It’s Haru for you,” He corrected you. “I didn’t—”

“You did, twelve years ago you stopped coming to hang out with me,” You whispered.

He makes you rest your head in his chest again and starts caressing your back again.

“After I finish with this I’ll try to explain myself,” He says.

“You tried to explain yourself two years after you left me and it was just you saying you were my guardian,” He laughs.

“Because I am, but this time is not the same; I said I was your guardian and you are hurt, so, me leaving it’s not enough to protect you,” You didn’t understand what the fuck he was saying.

“Are you gonna leave if I fall asleep?” You ask him sitting up again, he looks at you and takes his phone from the nightstand, he dials a number.

“Kokonoi, yeah… I need you to bring me clothes to the location I’m gonna send you… No fucker, I’m not at one of my hoes' house,” He laughs, and then he’s serious again when he says the next part. “I’m at angel’s house”

Apparently, that was enough for the Kokonoi guy to agree to whatever Sanzu told him. You made yourself comfortable on top of him and fell asleep without thinking too much of your fake hate.

Sanzu didn’t leave you alone for three whole days, and he made his men bring him so many clothes that it took half of your closet. Every couple of hours he would undress you to your panties and put the cream on all your bruises, then he would put your clothes back on and go on making a business call. He hasn’t mentioned anything about the conversation y’all are gonna have when he “finishes this”, whatever the fuck that means.

He popped two pills of the ones that he took out of his pockets the night he came to your house. When he was high on them he just lay close to you and would try to cuddle you if you let him. The first time you didn’t let him at first, feeling awkward about the whole situation but he just nodded and lay on his back by your side. After some time you shyly pull him to rest his head on your chest.

The fourth day he made you dress up in comfy clothes and when you went out there was already a car waiting for you. When y’all were at some kind of warehouse you started walking behind him, scared.

Then you see him.

The guy that beat you so bad was on his knees with his arms behind his back, crying for forgiveness at a guy with long hair in front of him. You look at Sanzu but he’s focused on the guy on the floor. When you feel him tremble you shyly slide your hand all over his back.

“So, this is the poor fucker that’s gonna die today,” Sanzu says after enjoying your touch for a second, the guy lookup and he almost faint when he sees you.

“Y-you…” He sobs and Sanzu laughs out loud.

“You thought she was lying when she told you she is the protégé of Bonten’s number two?” The guy was shaking when Sanzu crouched in front of him, with you right behind him clutching his shirt softly. “She’s not my protégé, she’s my queen, my whole woman, and because you thought it was manly to put your dirty hands on her you’re not gonna see a new day after I finish what I have for you.”

“Haru…” You murmured and he stands up and turns around to look at you.

He slides his hands around you and starts walking softly, forcing you to walk backward, you put your hands on his chest and clutch his clothes tightly.

“Can—” You start but he interrupted you.

“There’s no way I’m gonna let him leave,” He remind you but you shake your head letting him know that’s not what you mean. “What is it, angel?”

“Can I please not witness what you’re going to do?” You whispered and he giggles and kisses your forehead.

“I left twelve years ago to not corrupt you baby, that's not gonna change,” He whispered with a smile. “Just want him to know that everything I’ll do to him is thanks to his audacity, go and take a walk with Kokonoi.”

When he says that the white long-haired man walks to you and offers his arms. You give Sanzu a soft kiss on the cheek and let the other man drag you out of there. You know you can’t convince him not to kill that man and you won’t, but you are not going to be a witness of that either.

Five hours later and you were laughing comfortably around this Kokonoi guy; from the little things he told you, you could understand that Sanzu followed the same guy all those 12 years and that he is the second in command of the gang. You also learned that everybody in the gang knows about you, even the damn leader.

“Is not that he talks about you, it’s that even the boss has to let him go when it’s related to you, I think you already know you have a subordinate outside of your house and job at all times so if they texted him that you were going somewhere different from your usual places he would ditch us to go to where you at,” He explained laughing, and you look at him surprised. “Yup, it’s not healthy to the public eye, but I have a guess that it’s the healthiest trait Sanzu has. Nobody has ever seen him respect someone’s wishes as he did with you by keeping his distance.”

“He’s… special,” You smile with sadness, goddamn did you miss your psycho boy.

An hour later he received a message and takes you to your house. When you entered your room Sanzu is coming out of the bathroom in boxers, you walk fast to him and take his hands to examine his knuckles.

“I didn’t use my fist,” He murmured, he smells like your body wash so you figure that he cleaned himself before facing you.

“The conversation,” You say in a firm tone, even though you were really nervous about everything. He nods and goes to your bed to wait for you to change into your pajamas, after you finish you get under the blankets and he does the same.

“Twelve years ago I killed my first victim, my superior at the time,” He starts and you look at him surprised. “Yes, when I was that age. As I said before, I didn’t want to corrupt you and that wasn’t something I could just undone, so I distance myself. Two years later, there were a lot of gangs in the city and I knew about your part-time job at night, of course, I couldn’t help myself on letting on the air the minimal possibility of you getting hurt, you cussed me off and I figured out that I still could protect you from the distance. The more power I gain, the more protection I could give you, that’s why I wasn’t going to let him live. He dared to harm the person I adore.”

“Ple—”

“I know what I did to your heart,” He says and you look down trying to process everything. “I know that I broke it and that’s why you were so centered in hating me, but you couldn’t. You love me, I’m not saying this in a cocky manner, but we both know what you were thinking when you went home with all those guys.”

“Go to hell,” You whispered and roll your eyes, but he pulls you to his lap, softly moving you till you were straddling him.

“I’ll do it after I make sure that you go to heaven,” He whispered, and your eyes sting from unshared tears.

You lean a bit and press your lips to his, and he kisses you back right away, instantly pulling you close. You slide your hands from his chest to his hair and tug softly, he groans in your mouth.

“Fuck, don’t you dare to stop,” He whispered while his eyes roll to the back of his head after you tug again.

“I’m going to sto—” You start to tease but he clutches your pajamas tightly and you smile a little bit knowing that he isn’t doing it to your thighs because of your bruises.

“D-Don’t, fuck, don’t,” He keeps whispering now a little agitated by the thought of you stopping and you stop right on his mouth and wait for him to open his eyes to look at you. “Ruin me, fucking ruin me for breaking your heart, baby.”

“I’m not gonna do that,” You gasp when his hands slide to your ass and pull you to him more, he squeezes it softly and you moan.

He searches for your lips and you let him find them this time, enjoying his groans every time you scratch his chest.

“Let me do it,” He says in a breathless whisper. “Let me make you happy.”

You look down to his chest but he takes your face in his hands and forces you to look directly at his eyes. He has a desperate look.

“I can do it, look at me, look at me Y/N, I can do it,” You nod, and he keeps going. “I can make you happy, please let me do it.”

You lean again and smile in his mouth.

“What did you say four days ago? That you were always gonna be my man,” You close your eyes with a small smile. “Make it happen.”

He flips you so now you were under him.

“Yes, angel”

Every time I talk with @saturnmitsuya we ended up with crazy ideas and this is the proof of that. Love us for that.

#☽. kk writes #tokyo revengers #tokyorev #tokyorev headcanons #tokyo revengers fluff #sanzu x reader #sanzu haruchiyo #tokyo revengers sanzu #sanzu imagines

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punkscowardschampions · 2 years

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Archie & America

Archie: 🧨🧨💥

Archie: we’re going to [this clerb] tonight

Archie: dress good so we get in

America: 💖💣 for reading my mind

America: 🍒 out dress code is zero price to pay if I go 1st [a shop that’s really easy to shoplift from because you get to know which ones are and aren’t] ☄️🛒🌠

Archie: not full out or you’ll look like you’re flaunting being out of training bras 🥴

Archie: you could borrow your sisters, that’s the vibe

America: nipples 👀 even easier

America: 🐆+💄+🚬=🎸🤘😈

America: 👌👌 but I’m not getting the bleach out

Archie: a touch more ✨ though, not trying to get backstage and blown out by a nobody

Archie: I’d still be blonder

Archie: I think you should dye yours so we look different

America: 🌟studio 54 nye party energy🌟

America: silver hair would take a lot but I’m open to it as long as I don’t go bingo any time soon

Archie: I was thinking 🖤

Archie: or ❤️ we don’t know any redheads

America: 🧛‍♀️ or 🤡

America: 😐

Archie: You’ll look sick, way better than mousy 🤎💛

America: fuck it, why not

Archie: I’ll do it too 💃🏼

Archie: 💿 would look sick on me

America: if we do 🩸 might have a solid split second of mam thinking Gaz has murdered me in the bath

Archie: 😅 we could fake your death way better than that if we were going to bother

Archie: I’ve got too much I wanna do to pretend to be devastated about your disappearance rn

America: Libi could with her fake 🩸 recipe for days

America: vetoed as they wouldn’t even let you be me in the reconstruction, it’d be Chi’s time to shine, dramatic cow

Archie: Don’t be a baby, you can lose loads of real 🩸 before it counts

Archie: Your other sister is too old now, you must look most like your dad

America: I could but I’m not gonna unless it secures daddy Gaz’s conviction & we don’t have yours here to do honest policing so that’s pretty unlikely

America: [show her the one baby pic I have of Lia with her dad and thus you have of yours which she has probably seen a million times by now because yeah you do actually] ❗️❗️❗️

Archie: They’ll have to get your mum to give up his deets and find his new daughters, cuter kids get more sympathy = more jail time for Gaz

America: he won’t have any he’ll be married to his job

Archie: You’d be surprised how people change

Archie: my mum wasn’t always a complete nightmare

America: she’s been through something, he got away from the nightmare my mam is, he’ll be 🤑🤩

Archie: anyway, Gaz is like, hot, he’d do so well in prison

America: you keep saying it but talk’s all it is

Archie: you’re just mad he’s so in LURVE with your mum and would never

Archie: I’m not the one with the boring boyfriend going steady 🥱

America: it’s 😺💫 not 😍💖

America: & we’re not steady either 🤫

Archie: It’s still Sean and he’s not invited

America: I haven’t invited him, despite your ambiguous we

Archie: You think Bobby and Libi are going to try to get in?

Archie: besides, they can’t come even if they had any balls

America: she’d get in if she dressed up with us but he wouldn’t & it points to a no without him 🔮🎱

Archie: his brother could let him in

America: 🔮🎱don’t count on it🔮🎱

Archie: 🙄 well good bitch because I didn’t socials stalk Bobby to see where he would be tonight, did I

Archie: focus, his ADHD is rubbing off on you

America: are [list some messy gals we’re friends with] coming cos I’m not spending all night watching him rub against you

Archie: um NO, [an amount of these gals] can’t keep their mouths shut, they’d ruin it entirely

America: but [the ones who can like bitch they better be coming lol]

Archie: bitch idk, they are not my priority

Archie: if you’re going to be lame, you start a group chat and organise 🎀

America: 😝🖕

America: calm your padded 🍒 yeah, I can see you’re focused on living out your IRL 🍭👓❤️ dreams & taking his maybe rejection out on me before it’s a definite is not it

America: step your 😻 up or stay home 🤷‍♀️

Archie: I don’t want them to come but if you want your hand held by Stacie instead of some hot guy go ahead

America: your sister would, Stace isn’t going to make me 🤤💫

Archie: then shut up?

Archie: she’s so boring

America: I asked the q cos you’re gonna be boring with Casey’s 👅💦 shutting you up

Archie: Well you could do what everyone else in the club will be doing, duh

America: 🎊🎉

America: wayyyy ahead of you

Archie: leave your phone at home

America: do you have my 📷 or did I leave it at Sean’s?

Archie: not me

Archie: not that I’d see it in this mess

America: if he’s lent it to [a girl in his year we think he likes, whether he does or not is debatable] like he does every.fucking.thing else

Archie: probably

Archie: you’ll know the tits aren’t yours, hers are way bigger

America: 😐

Archie: Forget about him, you could do better

Archie: you aren’t as desperate as a case as you were last year so ditch him

America: [a student teacher in whatever subject we’ve been given one who’s actually young and good looking enough to torment] isn’t 🐀🐈

Archie: Exactly

Archie: now you’re getting it

Archie: he could be there, it’s one of the newest clubs about

America: he’ll be keener on me away from this hell hole

Archie: I’ll make a tinder and tell him to come

America: then he’d come for you, greedy bitch

America: I’ll do it myself

Archie: a fake one, you moron

Archie: he’s not going to come for either of us but if you happen to be there, whoops 💁🏼‍♀️

America: MY fake one, you’d scare him off

Archie: Oh ‘cos you know him so well is it

America: I’m a gifted storyteller, bordering on pathological [whoever the terrible school counsellor for this era is] says

America: & between my nan, mam & sisters I know exactly what not to do in ANY scenario

Archie: I think if you were any good at lying, you wouldn’t be talking to the school psych, you know no one ever believes you

Archie: besides, I’ve got with boys 10x hotter than Sean, so you should let me do it

America: I get to sit there with ☕️🍪 while you have to do social skills, I’m not the loser, last I checked

Archie: yeah, that’s really cool

Archie: as if I couldn’t with my dead dad trauma, but I’m not gonna do that

America: your loss, she literally lets me have 🚬 breaks too ✌️

Archie: you and all the other spacky kids, it’s never going to be it

Archie: God, your mum must love it, mine would

America: if she gave a shit about me I wouldn’t be hanging about in there with [first name this counsellor lady haha]

Archie: n’awh 💔

America: 😂🖕

Archie: [sending her pictures of this boy] look at him

America: he looks like the oldest 1 wayyy more than Bobby does

Archie: I know, their genetics are a mad one

America: everyone used to want to go out with him & her, poor Libi must be so over hearing it 🎧🤫

Archie: I’m pretty sure she loves any and all attention so I wouldn’t worry

America: she doesn’t, you love stirring it

Archie: 👌

America: I’ve been through it all last year with Chi when Mullans launched playgate

America: RIP sir 🥀 sadly sadly missed 😢

Archie: as she’s actually family, I reckon I know her a lot better than you or your sister

Archie: how often she brings up her dead parents, surprised she’s not forced into headshrinkers with you

America: leave me out of your ✨family feud✨ I like her

Archie: I’m not trying to feud, you’re bringing her up when I’m trying to talk about the hot brother

America: 👌 go back to him, I was taking a sec to express that the Brando look alike brother is 💪🍆🍑 & now I’m done

Archie: well he’s like fully married and unavailable so that’s no use to me

Archie: anyway, Casey is more fun AND he was totally 👀 at me

America: when?

Archie: back when the play and we had to hang out with them all the time

America: you were this close to getting kicked off the play 💖✂️

Archie: I was only doing it for a laugh, not to join the geek squad

Archie: but this is an unexpected bonus

America: what’s this year’s gonna be without Mullans, it’s already been respectfully pushed back from the start of term

America: [whoever the new music teacher is who’ll be forced to do it] has big 👞👞 to try & fill

Archie: idk, I haven’t heard, probably back to the usual since it got so wildly out of hand last time

Archie: good thing I don’t need to get his attention that way now

America: 🥱 yeah

Archie: sure you can join the protest she’ll inevitably organise

America: 🧨📢🚨

Archie: did I forget to mention peaceful

Archie: whining at the teacher ‘til they relent is chill when your bfs 🦻

America: *🌼🔫

Archie: huh?

Archie: ugh, I can’t decide what to wear, my mum and sister dress like shit

America: [suggesting shit belonging to your mum and sister but half heartedly cos no offence gal we don’t really care]

Archie: bring [something] for me, I’ll put that on there

Archie: going to have to leave covered up like a nun anyway

Archie: and I’m sleeping over [another friend that is not as messy as you for obvious reasons]

America: you’ll have something to lie on for pre-drinks at the park to stop you getting your best clothes trashed

Archie: do you think he has his own place yet

America: they aren’t paying him enough to rent on his own, there’s no chance, but he’ll have friends to put in with, hopefully he’ll have a room to call his not just a sofa bed 🤞🌠

Archie: Bobby lives with his brother, doesn’t he? So even if he’s at home, Bob won’t be there to snitch on me

America: if he’s not an imbecile he’ll be there instead of throwing his entire wage away on rent how my mam & Gaz have to, making the most of it before there’s oldest brother’s babies everywhere ruining everything

Archie: there won’t be a spare room for him soon enough, awh 💔

Archie: Libi would just move him in, she always gets her own way

America: yeah, they’re always together anyway

Archie: gross

America: Evie doesn’t shut up about her crush on him, we could hold out hope this may be the year she acts on it

Archie: she better, I’m sick of hearing about it when she’s never even given a boy a handjob

America: nobody’s parents are as strict as she hides behind hers being, she’d be in a catholic girls if they were

Archie: she’s just scared, the older she gets the weirder it’ll be though

America: what’s she scared of? 🙄 we’ve all told her how easy it is & demos are a click away if she’s really against another fruit & veg aisle instruction session

Archie: the rep, probably

Archie: the opposite of the one she’ll end up with

America: she’ll end up with no friends

Archie: and only being able to go out with boys like Bobby

America: learn some sign language & it wouldn’t be that bad, she could do loads worse & probably will if she keeps waiting

Archie: ‘cos that isn’t desperation 101

Archie: just learn a different language so you can talk to a boy, saddo

America: [tell her a story about a turkish man from a kebab shop trying it on with your mother pre-Gary glory days because she gives that energy but obvs we’ve added some lies in because we can’t not haha] 😍💖

America: Evie is desperate, or should be if she takes a look around at the 🔺⬜️🔵 of her life

Archie: Ha, they’re all sex offenders in there, [someone]’s dad beat one of them up for putting their number in with the order

America: remind me to slip Gazza’s number to [that person’s] mam

Archie: Shame his kid wasn’t hot and older

America: impossible with his da’s immaturity level & genetic code

Archie: soz Gaz, I got hotter fish to fry now

America: can’t wait for the day when it’s you & my mam both

Archie: keep dreaming, babe

Archie: I can’t believe Casey doesn’t have a gf like, what

Archie: Not that I’d care but still, talk about timing

America: he’s landed a job in a hot new club, it isn’t unbelievable he wouldn’t want one

Archie: Yeah but you usually keep one about, even if you cheat on her

America: he didn’t keep anyone about at school, nobody’s sure even now who he got with & when

Archie: I can tell he hooked up with [girls that posted him and we have sleuthed out because we’re 14] but yeah, it’s definitely not the full list

Archie: he must be good

America: 🤴🌟✨

Archie: 🥺🥺🥺

America: [show her this fake tinder for her approval or critique]

Archie: [loads of critique and do this and this and that because that’s who we are]

America: [deliberately not sending it again after we’ve made those changes because we know there would only be more and we can’t be bothered lol]

America: ⌛️⏳

Archie: what will you do if he actually shows

America: what everyone else will be

Archie: nah, you’ll chicken out

America: what’ve I got to lose?

Archie: what if he actually goes along with it

Archie: will you get with him

America: unless he’s Evie levels of bad at it

Archie: like all the way though

America: he probably won’t want to

Archie: yeah

Archie: I would with Casey, if he would

America: he would

Archie: do you know how old he is

America: 20?

Archie: 22, he’s only 3 years younger than the oldest one

Archie: Bobby was that mistake baby, obvs

America: my mam better fucking not go there

Archie: ew, she’s clearly menopausal by now

America: that’s what happens, the old cows think they are & end up 🤰🏼❗️❗️

Archie: I literally could not care less about your mum’s old vag

America: you’d care if you never saw me again which you wouldn’t cos I’d have to run away & start a new life

Archie: don’t be drama, you’d get loads of presents and attention for dealing from your mum and nan, ‘cos they’d feel so guilty, that’s what happens

America: not to me, I’d have to move in to nan’s & get daily hassle from her that there’s no room to swing her handbag

America: or go find my da to live with & never be in one place for longer than a few nights

Archie: OMG

Archie: I just accidentally double-tapped a selfie from like 2 years ago 🤡

America: 🤣

Archie: now I’ll need to go into witness protection

America: 👋

America: we’ll hang when the 🎪🎢🎠 is in town

Archie: oh well, at least he knows I’m looking now 🤷🏼‍♀️

America: imagine if you had to waste half the night on 🐀🐈

America: 🥱

Archie: I can tell he’s not going to tell, anyway

America: me too

Archie: imagine if I lost my virginity to him, everyone would lose it

America: I’d have to break you out if your mam found out

Archie: no she would actually die

Archie: it’d be worth it even if he wasn’t insanely hot

America: full shade to [the counsellor’s first name again] she’d send you to a proper shrink & I’d guess also out of the country to those relatives of hers you barely see

America: but your nan is gonna ✂️🍆 LOL

Archie: She’d have to see them herself to make that happen, v unlikely

Archie: as if she’s not let enough shit slide 😏 not ready for that convo hun

America: it’s a free pass 🥳

Archie: not exactly but I’m ready to win the argument

America: your sister’ll be a nightmare if it gets out

Archie: she always is, she’s so uptight

America: she should try losing her virginity

Archie: fr 🤣

America: Chi’s moping over Jake has rubbed off on everyone in their entire friend group 🥀☔️💔

Archie: being gay makes you dramatic, she wouldn’t act like that if she’d grow up and take a dick

America: she’s 😍💖😺💫 for my dramatic 👑sister🏰 is the obvious explanation

Archie: weirdddddddd

Archie: too bad your sister still wants Jake

Archie: who can blame her

Archie: he’s too serious though

America: he’s a pretentious fuckwit who everyone allows to be up himself cos his curls aren’t frizzy & he can hold a note & guitar at the same time

Archie: okay, gay

America: it’s not the insult you think it is, bitch

Archie: it’s totally cool you’re a massive lesbian

America: thanks ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Archie: just don’t look at me changing

America: you’ve got no 🍑 or 🍒 to 👀 at anywayyy

Archie: haaaaa 🖕 yours don’t count they’re just fat

America: 🖕🖕

Archie: [do you wanna say he starts a convo from our ‘accidental’ like, because we would just ignore you lol]

America: [yes I absolutely do wanna say that haha]

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