#like on one hand i dont dare looking too much into ffxiv happenings cause my abstinence grows worse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nabaath-areng · 6 months

Text

I was planning to build new desktop this fall, but seeing that the winter half year practically chains me to bed making me incapable of sitting up I took some of my savings to get a laptop so I can have it in bed for drawing, writing etc at least. And so I'll save back up the coming months and build it once spring arrives instead (hopefully component prices has gone down then too)

All that to say I can only eat my hands as I catch glimpses of dawntrail news after having been ffxiv-less since july last year. my abstinence is out the roof

#that being said i am admittedly a little bit nervous about returning now that its been so long #i played without break from 2014 til 2020 and then its been on an off between 2020 and 2022 #and then since then i havent had the means to play #like on one hand i dont dare looking too much into ffxiv happenings cause my abstinence grows worse #and on the other i worry that ill feel weird coming back #because returning from past breaks have felt weird #which admittedly might be because i dont allow myself to take my time and enjoy things but rather rush to catch up #but whenever i can play im just gonna take all effort possible to not rush and potentially even do things on my own #rather than feel stressed by not slowing down others #im glad for the increased single player options tbh #at the same time the break has done me good cause i feel like im further away from making those mistakes #and having a lot to catch up with before being up to date might be good for me #finding hobbies outside ffxiv has done me good too #my relationship to it wasnt the healthiest as it was my sole lifeline during horrific and traumatic years #but now ive been able to play tons of other games again and read books and draw more and write more than ever #and done more irl things again even finishing one type of education #so honestly? i think itll be fine #i dont have to feel bad over my relationship with the game evolving into a different form #i still love it immensely and its had a profound impact on my life as a whole #both in terms of friends and creativity and also significant other #anyway that got longer and rantier and more personal than i first intended #peace signs and sparkles

6 notes · View notes