#like lightheaded from sobbing unwell! happy almost father’s day everyone
Text
god people really will say the most fucked up stuff to people who are not palatable in their mental illness!
#i’m feeling really really bad tonight!#like lightheaded from sobbing unwell! happy almost father’s day everyone#they weren’t kidding when they said trauma therapy can make you feel worse before you feel better#have been replaying a conversation in my head where someone i loved tore my guts to pieces and i apologized for being a problem at the end#i keep going back to those text messages and seeing ruthless she was and how i said i was sorry for being this way and she accepted the apol#apology#was talking about my decade long series of complex trauma bc a trauma anniversary was coming up and i was struggling#and she told me how i put the trauma before her and she was more important and i shouldn’t care that much about it#i told her she was perfect and right and i was sorry i wasn’t being better and more grateful#i was telling her how scared i was for my dad to inevitably die from alcoholism and am how i’ll carry that grief always#and that was so selfish of me bc why does he even matter when she was there. he was dying and i was wrong to be upset about it.#she also said some things after that that genuinely make me too nauseous to type out. and i agreed because i had to make it up to her#and now we don’t speak and i just have to keep living with that. i just have to keep holding that sickening shit she said in my head#it was the way she talked about me when she was mad that she wasn’t enough to fix all my problems#mad that i still had trauma even though she existed#and the way she talked about my dad and generally substance abuse disorders#and i apologized to her for it. i want to throw up#vent post#j.
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
hildcit
Hi! o/
pierrearnoldienphotos
UN PETIT MONDE EN 1000 PHOTOS DE
PIERRE ARNOLDI
julie-sissy
JULIE SISSY
gorejitgore
gorejit
nginiamhim
Ask N.Gin!