my coworker sent me a candid photo she took of me when we were eatin leftover biscuits from the frychicken shop next door and gossiping about everyone we hate. and ive never been humbled like that in my life

I just want to say that I’ve bought both recasts and legits and like I don’t plan to sell any of them??? Call me financially irresponsible or something but I literally don’t buy anything with the idea that I plan to or might have to sell them in the future. Like sure there’s a possibility that something could happen and I might need money so bad that I’d have to consider selling my things, but dude I’d rather sell my furniture/clothes or something before selling something I bought for the sake of my happiness. Like I’m not even talking about just dolls, I’m talking about any possession I bought for pleasure because that would depress the fuck out of me. I’d rather sleep on the floor, so no. I don’t consider it “wasting money” when I buy something with little to no resale value.

What kind of life is it that when you make a purchase (any purchase, you could be at Walmart or a dollar store buying a knickknack) you only buy it with the thought that you can sell it for what you paid or more in the future? Do you even like what you bought? If the point was to just buy a thing on a whim with the idea in mind that you can just sell it later, you might as well buy stocks or something with no value other than monetary. I’m not saying you can’t sell something you didn’t enjoy or bond with, but like it’s bonkers to me to think that instead of buying something you really want and intend to keep, you buy something you kinda just want or something that caught your eye and justifying the purchase with, that’s okay I can sell it for markup later when I’m bored or if I don’t like it.

Maybe it’s because my life will probably be short or maybe it’s because I don’t usually have a lot of money so I only buy things I really love and intend to love and care for for a long time, but like I don’t think I’ve ever ever thought about selling an item when I’m purchasing an item, maybe because if I did I just wouldn’t buy the thing because that would mean I don’t really want it as much as I thought. I have bipolar disorder and adhd, so I’ve trained myself over the years not to give in to impulse buying because if I do it can easily spiral into an addiction, so every time I buy something I make sure I’m buying it to love it as long as I can love it. I consider everything I buy as having no worth, but I don’t find that to be “wasting money” I love it and I want it, so how is that a waste?

And I just want to say I’ve bought a doll before for a couple hundred dollars (which at the time was really more than I should have spent but I’d really wanted that doll since I’d joined the hobby) and when it came I did not bond with it at all. I loved seeing other people’s pictures of the doll, but when I had it and had it dressed up I just didn’t like it. At all. But I wouldn’t dare sell it and because I didn’t I learned how to paint faces and wiped the company faceup and repainted it the way I wanted and decided to completely redo the character and now I love it. My moods can make me really hate things one minute and love them the next when it comes to executing a vision, so I’ve hated all my dolls, but I always fell back in love with them when I restyled and repainted and some I don’t play with as much as others, but they’re mine and I love them and selling them would be like grieving a pet or something because I would regret their absence when one day I might’ve thought of a new look or character for them, so when I buy things I only buy things when I’m sure I’m committed to the item.

The only time I’ve felt I’ve wasted money is when I’ve succumbed to the impulse buy and I never fell in love with an item or I didn’t use it, but that’s only ever happened with inexpensive things like clothing or art supplies or something because I don’t allow myself to spend more than a few dollars on something that I haven’t really committed to. Im poor, I live with my parents and I only make a couple thousand a year, but I’d sooner give a doll away then buy it with the idea in mind that I could sell it for profit and I own a handful of fairly expensive legit bjds.

~Anonymous

#KnockTheBook : Anne Frank

“The nice Anne is never present in company, hasn’t appeared one single time so far, but always predominates when we’re alone. I know exactly how I’d like to be, but, I’m only like that for myself. And perhaps that’s why, I’m sure it’s the reason why I say I’ve got a happy nature within and why other people think I’ve got a happy nature without. I am guided by the pure Anne within, but outside I’m nothing but a frolicsome little goat who’s broken loose”

I knew this book exist since I was in elementary school it was on the 6th grade I guess. I saw this book in one of the notability book store (re: Books and Beyond) in kinda so-so Bandung Mall (re again: Istana Plaza). I read the behind book preview and my curious ass was really intrigued, that time I didn’t know wtf is holocaust and my English skill was so poor, I mean like still but now its getting better right????? ��My 11 years old wallet was penniless, so I didn’t buy the book,  that’s ok though because book wasn’t the main source of my happiness and I don’t really read much books that age. Many years later, there was BBW Bandung in 2019, and I’m so excited since I started to read quite a lot of books after I’m in college and just like that, I found a gem I’ve been wanting for since I was starting my puberty and now I’m at the edge of my puberty era (STILL COULDN’T MOVE ON FROM MY PUBERTY DAYS, PLEASE CHECK THE PREVIOUS POST OF MINE OR I’LL KILL U! Never mind it was a trash anyway). I’m gonna review this book in a way this book relating my life, because I SWEAR TO GOD Anne Frank is me in 1942 indeed.

Okay let’s cut the shit off of the personal history attached to this book, cause no one cares, no one probably read this master of shit.

The title of the book is “Diary of A Young Girl: Anne Frank” written clearly in the book’s grayish cover and it has a picture of queen Anne herself writing on her diary I suppose?? So it basically Anne frank writing her story and someone took a picture of her posing like she was writing the story and the picture became the cover of her story that she wrote when someone was taking that picture, got it?. The book is published by Wilco Publishing Book in 2013 in Mumbai, India. The book’s price is written on its cover, it was 19.95 in US Dollar and converted to Rupiah approximately worth RP 326.569, please note that I convert this price when USD 1 is worth RP 16.300 (fuck you corona). But don’t worry, if you are going to buy one in BBW the price is 50% cheaper than the original one, omg someone take me to BBW RIGHT.NOW!.

For those who dumb in history but insist to read this history-biography kind of book (WHICH IS STRANGELY CONTRADICTION, like dude u suppose to have good grades in history class if u like this kinda book, but whatevs I don’t judge), chillax there’s gonna be a short sum about what’s happened in WW II and the origin short story of Hitler gon’ mad with his bonkers political party. Also, there is a little summary about Anne’s previous life before she starts writing her diary in that crazy era she’s living. This book is literally her diary, I said diary, it means u could see her recounting her daily activities in a writing book (Except the fact that she named her diary with Kitty and consider it as her friend).

In this book, you are going to meet plenty bold characters. Here I describe few of ‘em that quite memorable for me. First is Queen Anne herself duh! She’s fucking THAT BRIGHT, I mean she was 13 when she wrote the story of her life, loves to read books, emotionally instable just like a mad teenage typical but she really has very unique perspective of how she depict the whole condition when she was in hiding. Second is her fucking family duh!(2), her mummy is weirdly kind of remind me to my mom FOR REAL, both of them were as problematic as her youngest daughter, sensitive, and caring as regular moms out there. Daddy is totally a sweetheart and kind of hard-working just like most of the Jews I guess?? And Margot which is Anne’s older sister, you know that golden child in the family who always be the spotlight in your big family gathering? Yes she is one of the kinds. Not only Anne and her family that is pretty intriguing, but there is also one little family which also joined Anne’s family in hiding, that is Mr. Van Daan Family and all of their dramas *applauding* that is caused by Mrs. Van Daan’s deportment (She’s quiet funny for me though) . There is still a lot amount of characters that is also involved in this book, but you can read the book by yourself its good honey trust me its good and worth it.

I think for the first time I managed to look serious in previous paragraph right?

What’s very interesting to me is how Anne and her mom fighting could be very relatable to all of us. The peak of these fighting dramas was on Friday, April 2nd 1943, when Anne refuses to have her mum took prayers with her, I would say that was truly heart breaking moment. You know the time when you had a huge fight with your mom and you feel so miserable because you disgust the situation where no one was there for you and all you can do is to blame yourself because you love your mom and realized that she got nothing wrong, and what you did is  self-loathing all days long, as her mom said,

“I don’t want to be cross, love cannot be forced”

I’m on my fucking tears for reading that sentence, perhaps people that has lots of problem with their life might be understand exactly how it feels, for longing to just vanish from the world because die in all likelihood would still make people around to be distressed because of you? (OMG Ana, u really need stop exposing yourself!). However, after all the fights with her mum, Anne figured out that it’s only the matter of unpleasantness and misery rebounding all the time. She learned that it still much better for hard words on paper than to be carried along with her mum’s heart (it’s a pro tip y’all!).

“Leave me in peace, let me sleep one night at least without my pillow being wet with tears, my eyes burning and my head throbbing. Let me get away from it all, preferably away from the world!”

           Anne was hiding for 761 days, of course many things happened and her relationship with Peter (the only son of the Van Daan’s family) is one of the cutest story I liked. Peter was 3 years older than Anne, in my vision he’s the type of nonchalant chap, yet very sweet inside. Started with Ana’s frustration to be alone, ended with having another person other than her family to be talked to. Peter and Anne, after they were close to each other (because they weren’t really get along together at first), they spent most of their times in the attic which is Peter’s basecamp in the annex, talking about life as a teenager and their complicated family before the life in the annex. It kinda remind me of how surviving life becoming the point of how we see each other’s color, Anne had become comfortable to talk with Peter about all her difficulty and so otherwise. Anyway, their fucking love story gonna prompt you to the nostalgia of young love in mid school.

“Already this morning I noticed that peter kept looking at me all the time, not in ordinary way I don’t know how, I just can’t explain……. I made a special effort not to look at him too much, because whenever I did, he kept on looking too and it gave me a lovely feeling inside...”

It’s not over yet, there’s going to be a lot of scenes that giving you goosebumps which cause by a burglar, yes not a ghost, but a fucking burglar, and other shits that would give you a nerve because Anne’s diary also described how the current war situations going (IT WAS SO INTENSE F U HITLER ROTS IN HELL U DUMBASS). The war was not only happened outside the annex but also inside, the war over making noises when everyone’s sleeping and the use of a little table in afternoon between Anne and Mr. Dussel, I perceived it quite hilarious!

. That’s probably a glance of how this book is so intriguing for me. The perspective of Anne Frank of everything sometimes could be so naïve but also relating to my life as well, even until today. Especially during this corona outbreak which has becoming the pandemic, I’ve stay at my home only for 39 days but already feeling sick even for an introvert and antisocial like me could be that JADED, so right now y’all bitch imagine being Anne Frank have to stayed in a hiding for fucking more than 2 years with exactly the same annoying people every fucking day. Nevertheless, if you guys interested to read this book you can buy it in BBW which available in Tokopedia on 27th April until 3rd May this year, so please don’t miss the chance! (to be noted that im not having any relation to BBW, im just so happy that this bazaar coming up into my life). And also you can check the official website of Anne Frank House in www.annefrank.org, there’s a lot of information you could uncover about Anne and other people in furthermore and the visual of the hiding they have been living (IT’S SO MUCH COOL BRUUH).

I think that’s it, I really had no idea how to review a book, this shit just basically me mumbling my opinion about the books I have read. I hope my writing is getting better than the previous post (even I thought this trash was a degrading quality of mine). And a bit information, I finished and posted this writing in the time of corona virus, it was so hard to everyone enduring all the negative impact from this pandemic on our life, so please if you’re lucky enough to  still be able enjoy all the fortunes, please help those who badly impacted of this pandemic and I. BEG. YOU. TO. STAY. AT. YOUR. FUCKING. OWN. HOME. If you’re still strolling around for unimportant purpose and not even using a mask, im literally gonna kill you bitch!

So yeah, that’d be all. Thank you for read until this much guys!

*me talking to non-existing audience*

Xiao, see you in advance!