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8771eh · 5 years

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A Personal Chef

Or the 5 times Sid's Chef walked in on things she didn't want to see and one time she saw something she wanted to.

1. Oct 2008-Chez Lemieux Pittsburgh, PA

It all started at a huge event. Well for the rich and famous of Pittsburgh it wasn't that big of a deal. However, she thought it was enormous. Especially as the first event that her mentor had asked her to help prep and work. It was her menu that the upper echelon of the steel city were consuming and that knowledge was overwhelming.

She had a few minutes to step outside for a bathroom break and was able to see faces she had only ever seen on the tv and voices she only heard on the radio mingling in the crowd.

The best thing about being a chef was that compliments were paid to you but so often people did not realize who you were when you went thru a crowd without the appropriate hat. She was more then fine with that because she hated attention being directly on her. Let the attention be on her food, on the combination of sweet and savory or spicey and tangy; not on her face. In fact she would much rather work on smaller crowds with an occasional big event. Then she could be the sole person in the kitchen and manage everything on her own. Not have the extra stress of managing others.

She turned the corner and stopped mid step. Before her were two hockey players who the city were talking about reviving a failing franchise. And they were staring intently at one another, a pink flush on Sidney Crosby's face as Evgeni Malkin cupped his hand over the Sid's cheek, his thumb brushing the apple of his cheek.

She took a couple steps backwards and purposefully stomped her feet as she moved back to the corner. While protecting their privacy was imperative, her bladder was demanding relief before she could get back and make sure the kitchen was running smoothly.

This time as she turned the corner Crosby was standing alone in the hallway trying to will the blush from his face. He smiled at her shyly.

"Oh, hey. Are you the chef?" He asked as he took in her outfit.

"Yes, I am. I'm Vanny. I hope you're enjoying yourself." She was trying to be polite but definitely did not miss the blush that deepened on Crosby's face.

"For sure. The food has been great. Listen, Natalie was talking about how much it helped her to have a chef while Mario was playing and the kids were babies. I was thinking it might be helpful to get a chef who can maybe help me out with food." Crosby chuckled as he looked away while rubbing the back of his neck. "Would you know if anybody who does that?"

"Oh, actually, I just might." Crosby's smile seemed to relax as she smiled back at him. This might work better then she expected.

2. Sept 2009- Crosby Kitchen

She was ecstatic about the Stanley cup celebrations coming to a close. Sidney's schedule had been ridiculous with all the parties and then attempts to get back on a meal plan. Then the amount of cheating he would do. Especially after Malkin-call me Geno- came back from Russia. She was surprised Sidney hasnt asked her to start cooking for the two of them with how often the other man was over.

That didnt mean that she wasnt going to leave him out though. She loved seeing people enjoy her food but she loved trying new recipes more. When Geno started to come around more often she spoke with her colleague who had spent a year training in Moscow. She had just picked up some ingrediants to try and make a healthier version of a cold salad her friend had sent her when she heard voices from the kitchen. She stopped just outside the door way where she could see Sidney holding his head and pacing tightly near the fridge. Geno was propped against the island with a patient look.

"We need to stop. This is a huge mistake." Sidney glanced towards Geno before he turned his back to him during his small circuit. She watched as Geno nodded in agreement before pushing himself off the island and moving closer.

"Is big mistake. But not most big. We just win Cup, Sid. We not deserve?" Geno stopped himself on an invisible line allowing Sidney his pacing space.

Vanny watched as Sidney hesitated a step before looking back at Geno. His back was to her but she could see the hope and worry mixed on Geno's face.

"Its a bad mistake, G." He sighed heavily, "Can we keep kissing until we think this through?" Geno reached out and placed a hand on Sidney's face. Similarly to the way she had found them at the Lemieux household the year prior.

"Take all the time you need. You a big mistake I want make again and again. Choose you each time, Sidka." He whispered before Sidney pressed forward to kiss him.

She definitely forgot butter or would need more butter after they had stopped steaming up her kitchen. She would also need bleach if the rustling of fabric was any sign of what was happening.

3. March 14, 2011- Crosby Kitchen

Cooking in minimal lighting was an interesting experience. Cooking for two injured cranky hockey players was more of an experience. She had worked it out that she would cook the meals at her place and bring them to Sidney's house so he and Geno could try to maneuver their limitations.

Today was different tho. Sidney had been seeming a little bit better over the past couple weeks. She had come in many times to Geno and Sidney on the couch. Geno reading with a dim book lamp attached to his kindle while Sidney looked asleep in the darkened room. The past week the lights had been on more often, there were gym clothes scattered across the laundry room and louder voices or laughter coming from the rec room.

Today she had prepared a ratatouille in hopes that the continuation of food that required minimal chewing would help with the constant ache caused from the concussion. She had become an expert in entering the house from the garage quietly in the midst of the sort days of the concussion.

However she wanted to start rethinking how quietly she entered. The laundry room was between the garage and kitchen. She stopped in there as she heard a firm 'No.' Coming from the kitchen.

Peeking around the corner she could see Sidney sitting on the island with Geno standing between his legs, his crutches on the floor.

"But I'm miss you."

"Geno. I'm serious you are not giving me a blow job. What about your knee?"

"Trust me, my knee miss you too. Sidnyushka, you skate for first time in months! You keep saying no sex, no skate, no hockey, no tv, no fun with concussion."

"Wow, G, glad I've been such a bore while I've been in pain. You know-"

"No, you not listen. You skate today, yes?" Vanny assumed Geno was waiting for Sidney to nod. "And your head not hurt?" There was a pause before a soft gasp followed by soft spoken Russian. "See you on skates again is what I want, but want you happy most. You come back today and so happy. You not tell me you think you ready to skate but you do this and see you most happy is like you most beautiful."

"I didn't know if the team would clear me."

"But you’re not tell me, so I should get included by suck you after hard work." There was the sound of kissing mixed with fabric rustling. Vanny was certain she had forgotten to turn off a stove at home and knew she had more bleach at home. She needed to start finding new places to keep bleach in this house if her poor kitchen was going to be defiled.

4. April 2013-

"Damnit, G, I want your dick in my mouth." Vanny froze. She thought of the location of the nearest spray bottle she had prepped with bleach and glanced towards the laundry room for her gloves. She was not paid enough to keep walking in on this stuff. For a couple who thought they were being really discreet, they are pretty oblivious to the domestic service crew.

By the end of the concussion and knee injuries, the entire house were well aware of how deeply in love the two hockey players were. As well as how stupid they were about communication. Mostly the staff got together on game nights and gossiped about who had walked in on what. Jaden swore they would end up outting themselves during a game and kept a book of all the near misses and missed dates as their pot grew larger.

Vanny sighed, her coworkers had stories, but they could never compare to what happened in her kitchen. She heard the sounds of kissing and fabric rustling, something hitting the ground. Years of working in the Crosby household had taught her to not look, to go do anything else. When she heard Sid state "I may be missing half my teeth but I can still suck your dick. G." She knew it was time to leave and probably call it a night. They could sort their own food out tonight and she could find a new way to blend recipes for Sidney's broken jaw.

5. NYE 2015- Crosby Kitchen

Vanny was stopped in the pantry. She didnt think they would be home this early-werent they on a road trip? She wasnt sure but either way they were in her kitchen. Going into the fridge and she didnt have the courage to leave the pantry. She had seen them in so many states of undress without them knowing that she did not have the patience to see them in whatever state with their knowledge.

"C'mon, G, its new years eve and we are going to celebrate together. I have plans." Vanny could hear the fridge shut, cabinet doors open as socked feet shuffled around the kitchen.

"Yes, I'm see maybe plan, but most worried you not joking here."

"Why would I be joking?"

"Because you not like that and now you have big jar full?"

"Oh? No, Vanny has it on hand to make stuff for you when you come over for longer stints. Pretty sure I saw some licorice for Olli in the cupboard last night. She is amazingly thoughtful. I dont think-" Vanny cant help the smile at Sidney's compliment but is well aware that Sidney is oblivious to the fact that she has been cooking for both of them for years.

"Yes, Vanny most wonderful chef. Not bad with Russian recipes, but Sidka, is maybe popular food. But you most wrong."

"Where is your sense of adventure"

"Is most big insult to Russia, you think mayonnaise good for sexy times, Sidka. Lose your Russian card before even get one." Vanny can hear a scoff and then giggling. "Never allowed to come Russia. Most sad because I am wanting take you to see Magnitogorsk."

Their voices fade as they disappear down the hall. Vanny sighs and then steps out of the pantry. She eyes the jar on the counter then promptly drops in it the trash. Mixing bleach and food wouldnt be a healthy choice.

+1 7/31/18--Cole Harbour, NS

Geno is chattering with Vanny about the recipe she is using for the salmon when she notices Sid standing just out of the kitchen doorway. He is staring intently at Geno. She has been around for so many years and seen many of the looks between the two men as their relationship grew. As they allowed others in on their life together.

She even knew the looks that meant she needed extra bleach and to prep some whisky balls for Lita when she got the next load of sheets in the wash. There was only so much bleach the sheets could handle. Or the looks they shared when they didn't realize they were not alone.

No, this look was not like that. This one was what she saw in interviews. Like he was schooling himself to not give anything away. He glanced briefly at Vanny and she could see his shoulders heave as he held her gaze for a moment.

"Hey Zhenya, Vanny." Sid greeted as he walked past and pressed a kiss to Geno's arm before heading to the wine cellar. Vanny picked up the platter on the counter and excused herself quickly from the conversation. She needed to get these stuffed mushrooms out to the table before Geno tried to eat them all.

As she walked back into the kitchen, she stopped just at the entry way, Geno was fiddling with a bottle opener as Sid looked on nervously. As Geno turned to use to counter for leverage and started mumbling in Russian about the cork, Vanny covered her mouth to stop her gasp from being audible as Sid dropped to one knee.

"Sid, what you do to bottle? It st-" his words trailed off as he turned and glanced around the room for Sid before looking down. The hand holding the bottle dropped to one side and the other hand holding the corkscrew went to his mouth. "Sidney? Why you on knee?"

"I have probably driven Tanger, Flower and Jack crazy with all the different words I've tried to put together. You know I'm much better at scoring goals then saying the emotional stuff. And Flower gave me a bunch of shit when I tried to use hockey metaphors even if thats-" Sid shakes his head and smiles then pulls out a small velvet box. "Enough rambling, here's the thing, I love you. I have loved you for so long and I want to keep loving you until you tell me to stop. So, Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin, will you marry me?"

Vanny can feel her eyes watering in the silence that fills the room after Sid finishes speaking. She watches as Geno allows a rush of emotions to cross his face because he has always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve.

"G?" Sid shifts minutely on his knee. Vanny can't see his face to know what expression he is showing and she doesn't dare move to draw attention to herself.

'Sidnyushka," Geno turns and puts the bottle and corkscrew on the counter before pulling Sid to his feet. "Of course I marry you. But Sid, why you have to beat me? Propose not competition. Have big plan, best plan for your birthday. Seryozah, Taylor and Phil all help me make most plan so you say yes but need best plan because-" Geno is cut off as Sid presses a kiss to his lips.

"You know I'm a competitive asshole, Zhenya. I want to marry you regardless but, baby, I win so you win and we win."

"Best team." Geno mutters where their faces are still pressed together. Vanny watches as Geno pulls away enough to ret his forehead against Sid's. "Ok, yes. I'm marry you make you most lucky man to be husband to Evgeni Malkin." Sid laughs as he drops the velvet box to the counter and moves Geno's left arm so he can slide the ring on.

"Sidnyushka, I have ring for you upstairs. Love you most." Geno is cupping Sid's face in hands and peppering kisses on him as Sid giggles wetly. Vanny figures this is the time to give them a little extra privacy. Her kitchen is safe with all the guests, but emotions are high and they deserve a true moment alone.

Besides, she needs to start looking at who she can rope into helping with a wedding.

#sidgeno #sidgeno rpf #i read he has a personal chef and i couldnt knock the idea of what that poor chef would see if they worked for a sid who was with geno

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askbittyerror · 6 years

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Character list

Bitties:

Current Shop Residents

Error- Error Bitty. Likes chocolate and is gay for Jay. May or may not let you pet him. Has essentially adopted Pax. Adoptable. Description More accurate appearance

Jay- Winged Underswap Sans Bitty, otherwise known as a Baby Bird bitty. Is Luke’s brother. Likes meat and is gay for Error. Will let you pet him. Taller than Error. Adoptable. Appearance and description.

Luke- Bat winged Underswap Papyrus Bitty, otherwise known as a Little Devil. Is Jay’s brother. Like cherries and is dating Zack. Will let you pet him. Appearance

Zack- Underfell Sans Bitty, otherwise known as an Edgy. Likes peppers and is dating Luke. Will let you pet him, but may bite you a bit.

Ink- Ink bitty. Flamboyant Memelord. Loves pets and any kind of affection. Adoptable. Appearance and Description. Bonus. Important information.

Paladin- Dreamswap Dream Bitty. Is confused and angered by most things. Is totally gay for Bard. Adoptable. Appearance and Description and bonus

Magnus- Dreamswap Nightmare Bitty. Salty. Adoptable Appearance and Description

Rogue- Dreamswap Blueberry Bitty. Tiny evil gremlin. Currently crashed so hard his entire personality has been rewritten. Adoptable. Appearance and description

Fresh- Winged Fresh Bitty. Rogue’s buddy. Appearance Parasitic appearance

Nightshade- Corrupted Nightmare Bitty. Generally grumpy. Probably won’t bite unless provoked but will break your fingers if you get too grabby. Appearance

Thistle: Dream Sans Bitty. Less of a beacon of positivity and more of a puddle of indifference. 100% done with everything ever. Brother and partner of Nightshade. Appearance

Gryph: Winged Undertale Sans Bitty. Was once possessed by Fresh. Jay’s father. Has children with Ghost.

Drake: Bat winged Undertale Papyrus Bitty. Gryph’s brother. Appearance and injuries.

Jack: A Blueberror. Not actually a bitty, just a small swap sans that was blueberrored the canon way. Appearance

Bitties owned by Anya

Char: Fireroyal grillbitty. Catlike. Guards the store and Is mated to Anya. Will let you pet him.

Rammy: A Underswap Asgore bitty. Lives in and cares for the garden outside the center.

Ex: A Cross Lust bitty. Suffering from an eating disorder and likes to dress up. Appearance

Marble: Ghost’s daughter. An adult, but rather small for her age. Brought back from the dead by M!A. Feisty, curious and fascinated by new things. Appearance

Void: A unique bitty. Very childish, naive and impressionable. Likes strawberries. Appearance

Argo: A outertale Sans merbitty. Appearance

Bitties Owned by Zo

Pale: Pale bitty. Consumes creative works for emotions. Entirely dead inside. Appearance

Bard- Dreamswap Ink Bitty. Salty Memelord. Gay for Paladin. Appearance

Aria: Error and Jay’s Daughter. Appearance (child, now grown)

Bitties owned by Dame

Piccolo- Underfell Papyrus Merbitty. Likes gardening. Is mated to Viola. Appearance

Viola- Swapfell Sans Merbitty. Loves jewelry and being spoiled. Bites. Is mated to Piccolo. Non-binary, prefers male pronouns. Appearance

Hemlock- Horror Sans Bitty. May full on bite, may just nibble. Don’t touch his head. Appearance

Zenith- A Crystal-souled Paladin bitty. Appearance

Bitties owned by Durva

Freya: Undertale Toriel Bitty. Oftentimes the only thing keeping Durva from ripping your throat out. A therapy bitty.

Bitties owned by Moose

Bear: Four foot tall Blaster Error from the times of the Aztecs. Skeleton form

Prey: Fresh Parasite with a preference for large Nightmare bitties. Appearance

Storm: About two and a half feet of Corrupted Nightmare. Appearance

Moon: Four inches of Uncorrupted Nightmare. Star’s brother.

Star: Four inches of Dream. Moon’s brother.

Jam: Fresh bitty with a preference for smaller bitties.

BItties “owned” by Huitzi

Dawn/Dusk: A unusual Dream bitty. Dawns Appearance

Finley: A blind Dream. From the Village.

Lucas: A deaf Dream. From the Village.

Oreo- A Magnus. Has a dead brother named Hershey. Appearance From the Village.

Arthur: A Dream bitty. Experiences frequent hallucinations. Appearance FRom the Village.

Temper: A Corrupted NIghtmare. Arthur’s brother.

Bitties owned by miscellaneous people

Group 1

Elisus (Eli)- Dreamswap Cross Bitty. Protective of Pax. Reference

Pax- Dreamswap Error Bitty. Easily spooked. Love pets and cuddles. Appearance

Template: Template Sans Bitty. Excitable boy. Let him know before touching him. Appearance

Group 2

Mercury: A slighty short corrupted Nightmare. Appearance Bonus and size reference (top left, Jabber 7 inches tall for scale)

Domino: A corrupted Nightmare with a blob of white on his cheek. From the Village.

Licorice: A corrupted Nightmare who is more purple than teal. From the Village.

Jabber: Nex’s brother. An uncorrupted Nightmare. Headshot. Full body sans circlet (on bottom left) From the Village.

Gold: Mercury’s brother. A very small Paladin.

Beryl: A baby blue. Was Gold and Mercury’s caregiver for a long time and is considered a older sibling.

Group 3

(all grown, only child appearances drawn at this time)

Sunset and Starlight: Two headed Snake-Bird bitty. Daughters of Gryph and Ghost. Appearance

Mist: Snake-Bird bitty. Daughter of Gryph and Ghost. Appearance

Jubilee, Catalin and Camelot: Snake-bird triplets. Sons of Gryph and Ghost. Appearance

Tropic: Snake-Bird bitty. Likes to yell. Daughter of Gryph and Ghost. Appearance

Capri and Cameo: Snake-Bird twins. Paladin adores them. Cameo likes to climb. Son and Daughter of Gryph and Ghost. Appearance

Calico: Snake-Bird bitty. Easily startled. Daughter of Gryph and Ghost. Appearance

Opal: Snake-Bird bitty. Loves hugs and protects Calico. Son of Ghost and Gryph. Appearance

Harlequin: Snake-Bird bitty. Like throwing things/being thrown SAFELY. Daughter of Gryph and Ghost. Appearance

Joshua: Old host of Cheddar. A blank bitty tainted by Fresh magic. Ghost cares for him. Appearance

Group ?

Bubble: A bara baby blue. About the size of a teddy bear. Cuddly.

Moira: Undertale Undyne Bitty. Aggressively affectionate.

Bitties Adopted out of the shop by their Asker

Sometimesanartdragon

Lavender: Gaster Blaster Underswap Sans Bitty. Mel’s original brother. Brought back from the dead. Skeleton Appearance Blaster Appearance

Mel- Underswap Papyrus Bitty. Formerly known as Honey. Has a very negative past with Rogue and is a reformed Asshole. Had a horrific head wound and symptoms of a TBI. Relearning many things. Appearance and Injury

Dusty- Dusttale Sans Lamia Bitty. Likes bitter foods and eating small live animals. Loves being pet. Venomous. Appearance

Ghost- Dusttale Papyrus Lamia Bitty. Likes fruit gummies. Is terrified of touch. Non-venomous. His skull is cracked, he’s missing his left arm and two fingers on his right hand. Is mated to Gryph and has children. Appearance and Bonus

Blake (named Anon)

Nex: A dream bitty. Reanimated. From the Village. Appearance (on bottom right)

Seven: A mated pair fused into one Blaster bitty.

Stray Bitties

Sweet: Fresh’s daughter. A young parasite. Emotionless and currently possessing a blank. Appearance

Cheddar: Fresh’s son. A young parasite. Emotionless and currently possessing a blank. Brought back by M!A after being tortured to death by Rogue. Appearance

Mar: A Reaper Sans bitty. Has a passion for necromancy and is just a little bit demented. Don’t ask where he gets his supplies. Appearance

Atemba: Once human, was executed and resurrected into a bitty body. Mar’s previous owner and Momma.

Geno: Geno bitty. Salty, doesn’t trust biggies. Appearance

Periwinkle: Crystal-souled Corrupted Nightmare bitty. Zenith’s brother. Appearance

Bitties from Dame’s Rehabilitation Center

Aimi: A Frisk bitty. They/them. Appearance

Roo: A Horrortale Papyrus Bitty. Appearance

Darling: An Asriel bitty. Very sweet unless someone tries to leave his side. Appearance

Meatball: A Sansy. An alcoholic and generally apathetic. Appearance

Gil: A Dust Lust Sans. Kind of an ass. A naturally born lust, is on experimental treatments to cure or at least suppress his condition. But as a side effect, instead of getting horny, he just gets angry.

Missy: A very chipper Chara. Speaks dog. (from the Village) Appearance

Min: A very brave Chara. (from the Village)

Blink: A rather tall Chara. (from the Village)

Once bitties

Huitzilopochtli (Huitzi): A ten foot four Paladin who was convinced he was a god reborn. Has since been rehabilitated. From the time of the Aztecs and over five-hundred years old. Has accumulated enough power to be considered something beyond a bitty. Appearance. Proof the mun is thirsty.

Alternate Multiverse Folk

Flare- Much older Huitzi from another multiverse. Very big (can go from 384ft to 32ft to 7ft) and very powerful. Heavily unstable, functionally immortal with an absurd amount of LOVE and determination. Appearance

Umbra- Human Nightmare, Flare’s adopted son. Very weak

Morris- A big old pile of what the fuck that basically amounts to several million errors shoved into a weird goop sack and shaken around by a batshit Ink for roughly five-hundred years. Bonded to Mo. Eldritch monstrosity. Consists of several groupings of souls working as one cohesive being.

Parts of Morris

Green-

Biggies (full sized monsters, humans, askers, etc.):

Moose: Dame’s Adopted son. Current owner of the shop. Entirely composed of anxiety.

Anya (Underswap Zoteara): Fluffy dog monster. Owned the adoption center. Appearance

Zo (Undertale Zoteara): Fluffy dog monster. Anya’s Undertale counterpart. Owns Ink, Paladin, Magnus and Template. Was in the royal guard before the barrier fell. Head-shot Appearance, Full body appearance

Dame (Swapfell Zoteara): Fluffy dog monster. Owns Nightshade and Hemlock. Runs a bitty rescue organization, loves children and controls most of the city. Some of her other business practices are… Questionable. Has a fondness for poisons. Appearance

Durva (Underfell Zoteara): Fluffy dog monster. More scruffy than anything. Knows people. Owns Freya.

Ochi: Currently bitty sized deer. Responsible for many, many bitty deaths and is a generally terrible person. Appearance

Gael: Ochi’s brother-in-law. Single father and generally dead inside.

Mēsti: Human, helps out Dame sometimes.

Assorted:

Bitey: Female Pirahna. Viola’s pet.

Kai: Male ferret. Pax’s buddy.

Kevin: Male chick. Pax’s buddy.

Crayon: Female Leopard Gecko. Pax’s buddy.

K: Male squirrel. Error’s buddy.

If you want to find out more about a specific character, search for their name and ‘info’ on the blog. Example: ‘Rogue Info’

#characters #subject to alterations

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