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kiruamon · 15 days

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Grey World AU - Visit from the Moon 3

Aaaand the ninth part of this AU. Things are slowly calming down...

Finally done it. A week later than I thought. But with this we have finished Moon's "little visit".:D

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bunnihearted · 1 month

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🐰🌧️

#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

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dreamwinged · 1 month

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good morning everyone :( i am in a Funk really bad and i wanna say it’s school but i know it’s a bit deeper than that. i dunno what to do i just feel weird… i hope everyone is having a good day tho imy guys :’)

#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖#yk when you wake up and you just feel like you haven’t slept at all #pretty sure i even dreamed abt my problems bc when i woke up they were instantly on my mind #it’s like this sick feeling #ik it’s a lot of stuff combined and the feelings r just manifesting thru smaller stuff but it still sucks so bad #idunno…. what if im not good enough for f/os and i should drop them all and let them Be Free..#im just not feeling good abt myself i guess. i think im scared to go home tbh #one week til i go home… :(#then i have to get my wisdom teeth out and start my new job and see my friends again who bully me for fun #can’t wait………..#im going to try to keep learning japanese hopefully that helps me yk #to have a hobby to throw myself into #i don’t know… i guess it’s a plus that i don’t have school again til august #maybe something good will happen in that time. maybe i’ll get better #maybe i need a therapist but aaaahhhh…… scary….. it’s harder now that im older and no one can make me go #i just am unsure that i can be fixed atp i don’t know if i can have a normal life or if i’ll just always be this way #hhhh…. i don’t want to go home at least here i feel somewhat happy

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plumbogs · 5 months

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dustindirk yuri???

AHHAHHAH i still need to find clothes i like for them. specifically some more baggy butch tops for dustin... im pretty sure conversions exist of those baggy shirts that they wear in their original form but for now she's in a tank top because that bar doesn't have AC

dustin (names subject to change) is the other half of the "turning streets into a racetrack crew". she acts like a tough bitch but she's actually sensitive and a little dorky. her gf is a lot more shy than she pretends to be. they're like the world's biggest bags of hot air. but they don't have to put up any fronts when they're alone which is so cute...

i'm also still finding a particular niche for dirk. sorta grungy punky gothy femme-ish and i need more cc jewelry to really get that through. and nails for everyone in general. and more tattoo overlays. they are a trashy couple but they're genuinely in love so much. ride or die. whatever i'm normal

if that bar wasn't an empty shell for photo purposes they'd get kicked out. handsiest couple at any event they're at ever get OFF of that nasty dive bar you're getting grease on it

#dirk is into the biking hobby hardcore... every time her gf finishes the rounds they [5 continuous minutes of censorship buzzer sound]#butch dustin i would die for her genuinely . to me she's a lot bigger than that while also strong as fuck #but idk if theres even a bodyshape that fits my visions #if i do anything more with them i'd specify pronouns and shit because few of these people are she/her alone. sapphics lets gooo #i can't tell whether i made dirk skinny or not but neither of them would be skinny. i might have forgotten to change it. i'm having fun #dustin is still kinda involved in the criminal career and dirk has an okay job as a hotel receptionist or something along those lines.#still figuring it out #this is a whole AU for me now.#its so hard to make good butches in this game i'm biting the walls

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m4gp13 · 1 year

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hc that Ethan is just as unhinged as the rest of the TA demigods but is in possession of a few brain cells so whenever he's with them he needs to tone it down to be the acting mum friend because if he doesn't an errand to get milk will end with a hospital visit

#pjo #percy jackson #ethan nakamura #the titan army #you can't look at ethan gave his eye to his absentee mother went alone into the labyrinth ran off with percy after loosing his arena battle #only to turn around and go back to the people he ran away from nakamura #and see only the most hinged of men #him automatically assuming the role of default mom friend #is definitely a symptom of his mommy issues #Nemesis gave him sole responsibility of a huge task #so he's probably got that oldest daughter thing of like #being desperate for people to help him but not letting anyone get near his work #because he sees himself as the only one able to do the job properly #I love getting attached to a blorbo and just making shit up about them #sorry ethan but your trauma is my favourite hobby

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fereldanwench · 2 months

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i've been considering resuming job hunting again but i think I'm still, like, traumatized from what i went through in 2021 lmao

#i keep getting in this cycle of 'well my current job lets me do pretty much whatever i want bc they trust me to get shit done'#(which honestly is really nice bc i am neither a team player nor a leader and i like being left alone lmao)#and 'my current job is otherwise unfulfilling in every way possible also it's for an awful company I'm ethically opposed to and i want out'#and my salary is garbage #esp as someone with 12 years of experience #and they dont even do cost of living adjustments #in theory they will give you a raise if you go above and beyond but i did that for a year and just got a thank you #which i dont need your fucking gratitude i need more money #but god i just cant do interviews anymore #i used to be such a good BSer in interviews #and now i just... cant lmao #so many places are all into the 'be your authentic self' shit these days #my authentic self is not employable lmao #and then i think about pursuing my creative passions for income and I'm like nooo i dont wanna do that either #bc that will make me hate what i love #i am so protective of my hobbies just being hobbies #idk whatever!!!!#t: wench.txt

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keeps-ache · 2 months

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today! on the agenda we have [tears paper away to reveal the single word 'do'] ...

#just me hi #today on the agenda i've added the words 'draw' and 'make valiant efforts' so >:3👍#//vv has sent me an ask and the sketching. oo it's sketching alright hfhs #am i going to make full character designs for these? probably i have no control in that aspect Hbfhvsfjs #if there is ONE thing i can consistently go all the way with it's character design. i literally could not tell you why that is lmao :3 #there are nights where i design whole casts of characters and then Forget About Them ?????? like dude. why did we do all that hbfvh #really i made a cast of like 10 characters one night they all had their signature colours clothes jobs hobbies dislikes and personal #relationships and then i......... never thought about them again hhhfhsh #[holds them up like a wet cat] does anybody want a strange half-baked story with a cast of about 12 people who are all clones of one guy #who's trying to kill them. cuz man hfhsh #//anyway all the sidings from that i think i'm coming out of the Saute Mode #what's Saute Mode? well you see it's when i've already taken out the ready-made good stuff in my brain and now i need to put in new #ingredients and let them get hot and ready again. Saute Mode :3 #sure it might just be artblock but i think i need an artbreak sometimes so loll #plus Saute Mode means i get to play viddy games without feeling guilty so YAY :33 #but Saute Mode does Also mean i sort of don't. talk to anybody out of my own volition HH #it's the side of the coinage. you understand hfbvhs #//annnnnnywhoodle back to my sketching :>>#posing my wretched beloved.. you are strange and impossible to understand hbvhfs #/:3 toodles !

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wp100 · 3 months

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people always ask me if im going to do something with my art money-wise and it's like... not every hobby artist is destined to make money off it.

it's a huge task to get noticed online, let alone make money. it's like having another job. you have to promote and push yourself and your image. it's like running a business. and there is no way in hell i'm ever going to do that. im tired enough from working full time already. and even when i take time off... i still dont feel like i have enough time to sit down, relax, and work on my art.

and sometimes... people just want to do art as a hobby. not everyone wants to make money off it. and that's okay.

#id rather not have one of the few hobbies i really enjoy turn into something i hate #i already struggle with my art mentally... like thinking im not good enough some days #dont wanna make it even worse trying to make it a job #delete later #also you kinda have to network and have artist friends if you wanna make it big #i dont have artist friends let alone... any friends to help me with my art #and having a following helps... and if people share #and if people are interested in buying your art #i dont even know how to do commissions. i dont know how that stuff works lol im Dumb.#in the decade ive spent posting art online ive only ever had one person ask if i take comms... i dont sadly. probably will never #and that's not a bad thing #but some people make out like it is. like no maybe i dont want to?

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alchemyne · 4 months

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i don't want to turn 25 rant in tags

#i truly don't even know what im doing #i will get super passionate about something and then let it rot #and it's things im good at too so idek what's wrong with me #i just feel completely and utterly burnt out with work and relationships and just. everything really.#and hobbies too i was so excited to start drawing again and it seems pointless with ai art being preferred anyway #every time i think about putting effort into making friends i get ill at the thought of them doing the same shit #so like. what is there to do.#i just want to be far far away from here #my last birthday was soooo shit too lol i am just not. in any way looking forward to this one.#anyway it will all be fine!!!#i will watch movies and go out and do things on my own and it will be fine #and maybe i will get a job overseas #okay goodnight #<3

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autistic-shaiapouf · 6 months

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Wondering if I feel weird about jobs bc I have almost exclusively worked high stress high turnover jobs

#I'm the most senior tech in my pharmacy and i haven't even been there for a full year yet #i think i need to re-establish a work/life balance bc im just so tired. i need to let myself have my silly hobbies or SOMETHING #the extra money is nice but I'm really paying for it and i can't let this keep going #it's like. I'm seeing my friends get jobs and i wanna be happy for them but i think about how #when I'm out of work for a few days and I'm prepping to go back. I'll just sit on the edge of my bed and look at the floor #and think about how i do want more time to myself. to read. to draw. to not spend 8 hours on the floor #and that feeling comes up every time someone else mentions entering the workforce #it's an almost existential sort of dread for me #and let me be clear - i actually don't hate my job. people are another beast entirely but my actual job? not terrible at all imo #it just. takes a lot of time and energy and it makes me feel concerned for other people picking up jobs #but i mean. I'm also disabled in multiple ways and need more rest anyways; not everyone functions like me #but it's still a nagging feeling that comes back to me every so often U_U #shai speaks

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nordic-language-love · 1 year

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clearly states on my hellotalk profile that i want language exchange and to only message me if you speak japanese. and yet.

#they're never people i have anything in common with either #or they don't even put an introduction/list any hobbies or anything #and they're literally always men #like my dude what do you think i'm gonna get out of this exchange why do you think i would want to message you #do you really think i have nothing better to do than make small talk with randos on the internet #like it's one thing if we at least have something in common #if you wanna talk about anime i like or star trek or pokemon or circus arts then great! let's chat!#but if you just wanna be like. hi how are you. so what are you doing today. do you like your job. it's hot here today.#then no. sorry but i have nothing to say to you.

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femme-malewife · 10 months

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Tomorrow marks my 6th day working at my new job and Monday will be my 7th/weekiversary....

#its a tiny bit confusing on some parts but...i really do like this job!!!#everyone is easy to get along with and makes sure to say good morning to me in the morning and :)#i like the type of work @ the beauty store i once worked at a bit more.....but regardless. I do genuinely love this job so far #i dont feel overwhelmed or frustrated #and i havent had one bad customer towards me yet #i did have a bad customer today but it was more her piss poor attitude towards her spoiled brat 4 year old daughter and being unable to pay #and giving in to said brat #god that shitty brat had such an ear grating whine i wanted to stab my own eardrums out #“I have enough cash for her toys bc she will NOT let me go without them” YOURE BUYING CLOTHES FOR SCHOOL FOR HER. SURELY THATS MORE IMPORTA #THAN PRINCESS PIGGLES RAINBOW RAKE??????#fkdkfoforor i was. Very annoyed.#Their delay made me half an hour late for my lunch break :(#well. Anyway. Everyone else has been very sweet and lots of customers have called me “extremely pleasant” and said they look forward to #seeing me again. And my coworkers said that im a good worker already #aghfifkfkdkdmsksk i may not have as much time for my hobbies but at least im being welcomed so warmly ...

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heartshapedbisexual · 1 year

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#really really really don’t like that my body and the pain i’ll be in from existing in it has to be like my number one consideration #for every single decision i make now . like lmao what if i decided to do something big and i just . couldn’t #i have to weigh the pros n cons of walking up the stairs to decide if it’s worth it . let alone do something like #get a different job or go back to school or try a new hobby . i know im just grieving but jesus christ does it ever get easier

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violettierre · 26 days

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I : majored in english, has a masters degree in it, studying philosophy, and have been an English teacher/Junior translator for almost a decade now.

My grandma : there is our future doctor <3

#i still to this day don't know if she's in denial or thinks what i'm doing is a hobby #it gets funnier every time #especially today #i was like 'mimma i just came back from work i'm so tired' and she was like 'i make food right now for our future doctor'#like ???????#grandma i love your food pls don't give it to someone else #who doctor ? doctor who ?#me ??????#that is so NOT my career #my already existing one that i fought my entire bloodline for put aside #i can never be a good doctor let alone willingly choose it #1) i suck at biology and science and those pure memorization shit #2) i'm really sensitive to blood or injuries i might faint at just the mention of certain stuff (surgeries are crossed off i would DIE)#3) it's just not meant to be and that's okay #as a society we can't survive with one or two careers all of them are important in their own way #an exercise i would usually tell my students to do at this topic #is everytime you feel like someone's job is useless to close your eyes and imagine a world without it #if i managed to convince them hurray to them #if i didn't i ask them to imagine someone they care for work hard then get told their job is useless #(that on usually does the trick)#the thing is even if you're stuck with a job you hate or can't find a better one #there's still some impotance to that job in a way like they offer service or blah blah #yet it will suffocate you because it's not the career you were meant to have #that summed up means the work environment/pressure/nature are what we really define as useless because they can be unfair #but not the work itself #when we delete those previous stuff off the definition all careers are equally important #i hope i was clear #and i also hope my grandma remembers that too #story time

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cardentist · 7 months

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hey, so people need to be aware that youtube is now (randomly) holding basic features for ransom (such as being able to pin comments under your own videos) in exchange for Your State ID/Drivers License, or a 30 Second Video Of Your Face.

not to pull a "think of the children," but No Actually. I've been making videos as a hobby since 2015 (and I've had my channel since middle school), I was a minor when I started and I'm not sure I would have understood the kind of damage something a seemingly simple as a video of your face can do.

this is a Massive breach of privacy and over-reach on google's part No Matter What, but if they're going to randomly demand a state ID or license then they absolutely should not allow minors to be creators.

google having a stockpile of identifying information on teenagers is bad enough, but the Alternative of recording your face and handing it over to be filed away is Alarming considering it opens the gates for minors who Aren't old enough to have a license.

and yes, there is a third option, but it's intentionally obtuse. a long wait period (2 months), with no guarantee of access (unlike, say, the convenience of using your phone's cameras for either of the other two), with absolutely No elaboration on what the criteria is or how it's being measured.

it's the same psychological effect that mobile games rely on. offer a slow, unreliable solution with no payment to make the Paid instant gratification look more appealing (the "payment" in this case being You. you are the product being offered).

and it's Particularly a system that (I think intentionally) disadvantages people who don't treat their channels like a job. hobbyists or niche creators who don't create regularly enough or aren't popular enough to meet whatever Vague criteria needs to be met to pass.

markiplier would have no problem passing, your little brother might not be able to. and while Mark's name is already out there there's no reason why your little brother's should be too.

something like pinned comments may seem simple, you don't technically Need it. but it's a feature that's been available for years. most people don't look at descriptions anymore. so when there's relevant information that needs to be delivered then the pinned comment is usually the go to.

for my little channel that information is about the niche series I create for. guides on how to get into the series, sources on where to find the content At All (and reliably so). for other creators it can be used for things Much More Important.

Moreover, if we let them get away with cutting away "small" features and selling it back to you for the price of your privacy, then they Will creep further. they Will take more.

Note: I have an update to this post here: [Link]

#enshittification #discourse #youtube #google #evillious chronicles #evillious #ec #this isn't overtly About that fandom #but it is #because it affects how I'm able to run my channel going forwards #I have no clue if I'm going to pass whatever 'test' they're giving my channel #so it's possible there won't be any pinned comments under the tobimisa channel ever again #I won't be able to edit old ones either #as that unpins the comment #which I won't be able to pin again

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emarezi-backup · 6 months

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gn i have to wake up in. 4 hours. fuck

#also have to make up an excuse to why i didnt study 🤣🤣🤣🤣#will this torture they call mandatory education ever be over.#we need a reform that changes some stuffs and lets me get out of classes at maximum 13 everyday #finishing lunch at 17 because theres not even public transportation to go home is insane #and im supposed to do homework after #and go to afternoon driving classes #and keep up my part time job (that i dont have rn but could be starting soon again)#and like see my friends and have hobbies upon that . be honest do you want me to kill myself #txt

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