HC: Princes & Tears (Crack)
@drewadoodle I'm blaming you and your manly tears with glasses and what not (re:onions) for this.
Content Warnings: none
Leon: Whenever he cries, it conveniently begins to rain, so he just goes outside and stands *gestures vaguely* there broodingly.
Yves: Listen, those aren't tears. It's rose water moisturiser, and it's part of the reason why his skin looks so good. On that note, Yves doesn't sweat either. It's all perfume. And when he cuts his finger? No, he doesn't. Light shines from the skies and fixes it for him, so that he can maintain his flawless appearance.
Jin: They're not called tears, they're pheromones. (Each and every single one of them comes with a handy note of big-brotherly advice. And a coupon for the nearest bar.)
Licht: They're invisible. The only way to find out that he's crying is to touch his face, and notice that it's wet. Otherwise, it's all business as usual.
Chevalier: He doesn't cry. Of course, he doesn't cry. Never. Ever. There are no tears to speak of. Don't even try to touch his pillow to check for wet marks. There are none. (Really. Besides, if he did THEORETICALLY cry into his pillow, he OBVIOUSLY wouldn't leave ANY ((strictly theoretical)) evidence.)
Clavis: They vaporise, and each has a different effect. Crying Clavis? Haha. Hahahahaha. Not any longer. This time, it's laughing gas. Hahahaha. Haha. (Not the best thing to happen during a funeral.)
Nokto: They're not called tears, they're pheromones x2 (Each and every single one of them comes with a warning letter from at least one woman with a broken heart.)
Luke: It's not tears, it's honey overdose, and it's leaking out of more holes than just the eyes.
Gilbert: Tears? Tears of joy only. Except they all collect under his eyepatch. So you will never see him cry either way, probably. Unless you make him so happy his eyepatch begins to overflow? Hmm... That may be problematic, however, but hey, whatever it's made out of, that could have sooo many more uses than just eyepatch-for-Gilbert-manufacturing.
Keith: They either apologise for being there and absorb back into his eyes right away, or are tabasco sauce. Nothing in-between.
Silvio: He cries jewels. How do you think was he able to procure such fortune? He puts on a Korean drama, takes out a wad of bills, and begins to wipe all the overflowing emotion into a bowl. Or a safe. (He is familiar with more shows than all of us combined post-lockdown, just saying.)
+Rio: Puppy tears. No, but literally, he cries, and puppies materialise around him, so that he can stop crying. Emma's sad? Well, guess who's cutting onions now. (And so they retired on a farm, and bread dogs, and lived happily ever after.)
+Sariel: Well, those aren't his tears you're seeing...
164 notes
·
View notes