#learned to forgive himself for what happened and be more grounded. he wont let emotions get to himself so easily and overwhelm him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldenhour-goldenboy · 5 years

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hi!! after watching TF i got a Supernatural Dean and Sam vibe from Will and Benny, Will is like Dean and Benny is sam. It mentioned their dad in the movie and icouldn't help imagine him being a military dad, which is how they both got into this job. and Wills line of "I've been supporting him since the day he was born” about benny just reminded me of dean taking care of sam. could u write a fic about Will and bennys childhood and how you think it could have gone with a military dad away a lot! x

Soooo a couple of things 1) i’ve never made it past the third season supernatural and that was years ago so I hope the vibe is still what you wanted :) and 2) I was mainly working from other people’s experience with having a parent or both parents in the army and being in the army in the US is probably a bit different from being in the army in Germany buuuut I still enjoyed this snippet and I hope you do too! :)

Growing up with their dad in the military (Ben Miller and William Miller, hc)

Both of the Miller boys grow up on strength, physically and emotionally, their parents keen on teaching the boys values and morales that are important to them.

Their mother, an endless source of love, would always patch up their knees, dry their tears and help them with their homework. She’s the heart of the household, both of the boys inheriting her warmth and care. This is what she taught them, that there is strength in forgiveness and kindness and that every creature on this earth is deserving of love. It is important for her that her sons learn respect and honesty with one another, fairness and to be stronger than what the world might throw at them.

He’s cracking jokes on Sundays where they are meant to be on their way to church yet they’re late again so they end up at a pancake place because there really is no point in going now. He’s morning runs, the brothers chasing after him until they get tired halfway through and he has to carry them back to the house, getting his own little workout in like that.

The boys see their parents being in love, dancing around the kitchen, stealing kisses while cooking and even though they are children and that stuff is gross for them the imagine on what a relationship should look like gets imprinted into their minds.

Both of the boys grow up with at least one daily task to fulfill. It is their fathers way of teaching them responsibility and patience and care.

William and Ben being in charge of the chickens in the backyard seemed like an excellent choice for that. they are in charge of feeding them and taking them out of the gutter and making sure the way to the enclosure is free and available ben learned to take responsibility the hard way, when he forgot to lock the gates one night and the chicken ran away in the cold, never to be seen again. His father, showing little emotions for that other than disappointment just shrugs and tells him to be more careful next time if he wants to avoid that from happening again.

To the outside world his way of raising the boys may seem a bit extreme, even cold at times but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Their dad is still caring and incredibly invested in the boys, so much that he wants to do everything that they grow up string minded and healthy and independent, thats all that he wants from life and if that’s the way to get them to learn than so be it. most of this comes from his own father, having the family having a long line of history of vets and soldiers. it is a sense of belonging that he walkways felt when talking to his dad and he wants to pass that down to his own sons. and though they are grateful for the many lessons they’ve learned as children, little kids really can’t comprehend the situation as they grow up and are still young, let alone understand the intentions that go with actions.

It gets harder every time their father has to leave again. The boys don’t understand. It’s confusion the first time and some tears, they are trying to be brave and grown up then. The next time there are a lot more tears, more confusion, yelling and clinging until they reach a point where it’s silent tears and not even wanting to hug their dad and say goodbye. This is even worse than the yelling.

It’s after one too times his father tells him he has to leave the next week, again, that William runs into the office, where his dad stores his belongings and the medals of his dad and pictures taken while he was in service, and pushes everything off the shelves before storming out the house. He doesn’t necessarily smashes anything as much as he just wants it all to be gone, leading to nothing being broken in the end but the gesture defiantly getting across. His dad finds William out on the front porch, the little guy waiting for him to come and confront him about his actions. Part of Will wants to stand tall and take whatever his dad has to say to him with pride and part of him is just utterly scared of the reaction he’s about to receive, anxiously awaiting the yelling his dad must’ve prepared. It leaves him with his chin up but his eyes watering and his lower lip quivering. When his dad just sighs and sits down Will’s nerves start to get the best of him and he breaks down crying because that’s the reaction he had prepared and now that there’s no outburst from his dad he’s completely confused into what he’s supposed to feel. His father can’t even be mad, it is such a clear and big signal from William to act out like that, he has to force down a chuckle. „You’re a brave guy, William Miller.“ His son is still sobbing and while he stops to take in a shaky breath Papa Miller opens one of his arms, not being able to see his son hurt by something he caused. „You need a hug, tough guy?“

William, even though being the older one, has a hard time dealing with the absence of his dad and missing him a lot more than he can handle. There are endless nights spent crying and getting terribly homesick, even though he is home. He grew up knowing what it was like to have a dad around and whenever his dad is gone, he can feel him missing.

His obsession with numbers started then, counting the days his dad was gone, how many times he has to sleep before he gets to see him. It’s a desperate attempt to make the situation more bearable for him and it barely works.

Benny at the same time grew up seeing his dad from time to time. He’s used to the stories instead of memories and saying goodbye constantly before seeing him again some weeks later. He doesn’t remember his first couple of years as much as Will does, when his dad used to be gone for months at times. His world was much simpler, his questions could be answered with wonders and his mother telling him about how brave his dad is, fighting to come home because he loves his family so much. For Benny, his dad is a hero. Until he is not.

Puberty is hitting him like a ton of bricks and while his brother grew up with a lot of feelings, Benny suddenly gets a lot more input than he can handle. He feels everything, all the time and he truly doesn’t know how to deal with that. His dad being absent only feeds into his confusion, leaving Benny unsatisfied if he is home and missing him when he’s gone. He’s picking fights then, with his mom, his brother and most often his dad when he is actually home. Doors slamming, yelling and heavy footsteps on the stairs are common in those years and Benny loses the connection to his father for quite some time.

With Benny trying to sort himself out, William feels like he’s going through puberty a second time. They’ve moved a couple times by now and while Will comforts himself with books (they wont leave him and he can take them anywhere with him) Ben has gotten in with the wrong kind of people just one too many times. He’s out at night more than he can count, his mother not getting through to him and his brother only finding the wrong words. They’re at each others throats more and more, underestimating their own strength and forgetting that if they hit each other now it can become real dangerous real quick.

It’s one night where Ben is coming home late. He’s drunk and trying to sneak in, actually bumping into every corner on his way through the house. He doesn’t even make it up the stairs as his brother, woken up by the crashing, comes down to help him. Hushed words lead to snarls lead to yelling, feelings that have been pushed down for too long explode. „What do you think dad would say if he were here? He would beat your ass to next christmas!“ „I don’t care about fucking dad! He can fuck off and die whatever shithole he’s stuck in now!“ They use words that cut deep and it doesn’t take long for them to roll around the hallway, fists hammering and hands closing around each other throats. Neither of them hear their mother shout, desperate for her sons to stop. She screams, she cries, she throws plates to the ground but they don’t hear her so she brings out the gun and fires a warning shot into the ceiling. Now they stop, startled and she sends them to bed before breaking down in the living room, a hole in the ceiling being the literal sign for something terribly going wrong right now. Their father comes home a few weeks later, both boys not interested in seeing him. William, who initially wasn’t even mad, actually understands his brother because he too, feels left behind. The last image their dad has of them is when they were 8 and they have matured a lot by that now. There’s no hug this time, the ceiling being fixed long before the boys learn to deal with their feelings and it takes an even longer time to forgive their dad, because after all it is their dad and they do care for him very much.

It’s a special kind of bond the Miller brothers share between them, their trust grown over years spending together and the thought about one leaving the other actually scaring them. Both of them like to know their loved ones safe and sound, a lot of their caring coming from the time that they didn’t know if their dad was alright. Ben and Will join the military at the same time, both beaming with pride and confidence. This is what they both wanted ever since thinking about their future, side by side and even though William struggles to come to terms with the thought that his baby brother might get hurt, he couldn’t imagine his service without him.

The day they get sworn in is probably the proudest day for the whole family. Their father is beaming with pride looking at his sons and both of them feel like they might explode.

There’s a lot they still haven’t talked about. The past is not an easy thing to untangle and feelings don’t go away like that, Ben and Will slowly understanding their father more and more as they experience violence and war and grief in the same way he did. Now they are the ones who get to see their parents from time to time, the tables being turned in a way they always suspected to happen but not being prepared for the way it actually is.

It certainly helps to have a father who’ve experienced this kind of mental strain before and who knows what its like to go to war and then come back home. A lot of the adjusting with life back home they actually turned to their father to, family dinners often revolving around their stories and experiences and sometimes just quiet pats on the shoulders, as no words are needed to understand the struggle each one is going through. Not every action can be excused but they are older now and old scars are sometimes just that, old scars.

#William Miller imagine #Benny Miller imagine #Triple Frontier imagine #triple frontier headcanon #William Miller headcanon #Miller brothers #miller brothers imagine #miller brothers headcanon #Ben Miller imagine #william ironhead miller #William Miller #Benny Miller #Ben Miller #anonymous #answered #request #triple frontier

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juju-on-that-yeet · 5 years

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With Friends Like These, Chapter 5/5

It’s the end! :0 Time to see how Chrome feels about this whole thing and how him and Yan go from here.

Tags: @spookyscarydarky @monster-king-gavin @chaotic-cri-art @peribloke

No warnings this chapter.

Read on AO3!

Read on Tumblr: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Enjoy!

A few days after Chrome’s accidental connection to the mainframe, the other Googles finally feel it’s time to connect him purposefully and let him wake up.

When Chrome wakes, there’s a moment of uncertainty, a moment where the other Googles are waiting to see if they’ve missed anything, a moment where Chrome doesn’t know what’s going on or how long it’s been.

But the moment passes quickly as Chrome filters through his database, his system automatically filling in the gaps of what day it is and making sure everything is working. In just that moment, Chrome understands how long it’s been since he was last aware, and his brothers understand that they can relax in the knowledge that Chrome is well.

“You’re awake!” Oliver says excitedly, unable to resist running at him and hugging him tight. Chrome staggers back a little from the force and awkwardly pats Oliver’s back in response.

“How do you feel?” Google asks, “Is everything in order?”

“I’m not detecting any abnormalities,” Chrome replies, “I feel…fine. I’d feel better with some space,” he adds, glancing at Oliver. Oliver lets him go at that, still shamelessly happy to see him.

“Do you…remember what happened?” Plus asks cautiously.

Chrome stiffens.

Does he remember. Of course he remembers.

He remembers being slammed into the wall of the dojo, remembers the kanabo driving itself into his skull. He remembers the pain, remembers blacking out and waking up different. He remembers his systems scrambling for purchase, remembers his body and hardware trying to figure themselves out. He remembers sorting through his objectives for grounding, remembers his jittery software combing through corrupted data. He remembers Yandere calling to him with worry the whole time. He remembers his system settling on his secondary objective, remembers his mind going blank. He remembers watching Yandere realize what was happening and feeling nothing in the face of his friend’s fear. He remembers chasing him down twice, remembers grabbing him twice, remembers dragging him back to the dojo because his glitchy software still recognized that the dojo was the best place for killing. He remembers fighting against Yandere with the kanabo, remembers that red hot desire to kill him kill him kill him pouring through his veins. He remembers the glitches sending waves of pain through him, remembers Yandere pausing in tandem instead of seizing the opportunity to fight back. He remembers cracking the side of Yandere’s face into pieces with the kanabo, remembers getting on top of him to strangle him. He remembers Yandere’s violent struggling, remembers the panic in his eyes. He remembers the feel of Yandere’s pulse hammering against his palms, remembers Yandere, even in his last conscious moments, begging Chrome to stop. He remembers squeezing so hard he broke something in Yandere’s throat, remembers Yandere’s mouth gaping and his body twitching as he started to suffocate. He remembers watching Yandere’s eyes roll back into his head, remembers feeling him go still, remembers searching his database to determine how much longer he had to strangle Yandere to make sure he stayed down forever. He remembers Dark finding him and throwing into a wall but he hardly cares, because he remembers bludgeoning and strangling his best friend and watching him slowly start to die and feeling nothing, not a shred of mercy, not a drop of memory about what Yandere meant to him.

“I remember,” is all he says to Plus.

He must have done a poor job disguising his feelings on the matter, because a layer of tension suddenly descends on the room, and there’s a beat of silence.

“Well, you don’t have to worry, Yandere’s completely fine,” Oliver says quickly, “He left the clinic and visited you a few days ago, actually.” He grimaces. “It, um, got cut a little short ‘cause there was a problem with an update and your muscle regulator, but the point is, Yandere’s okay. He’ll be happy to see you’re okay, too!”

Chrome isn’t so sure. Yandere was so afraid of him, and he had every right to be. Yandere may be okay now, but Chrome almost killed him, and he knows he would’ve if Dark hadn’t stopped him. Yandere hadn’t even been able to bring himself to hurt Chrome in self-defense. Chrome can recall numerous times where Yandere could’ve subdued him, or at least bought himself some time with a hit. But he never took those opportunities, no doubt because he didn’t want to hurt Chrome worse than he already was. A part of Chrome wants to be mad at Yandere for not defending himself properly, but it’s drowned out by every other part of him, each one mad at himself.

“Chrome, your thousand-yard-stare is unnerving all of us,” Google sighs, running a hand down his face, “Go talk to Yandere before you implode.”

“There’s nothing to talk about with him,” Chrome snaps, “I tried to kill him.”

“So?” Google counters, “You know Yandere; he’d find some way to forgive you even if you had killed him. He can’t be mad at you for more than ten minutes, we all know that.”

“This is different,” Chrome mutters, “This is so far beyond any argument we’ve had or any time we accidentally hurt each other sparring.”

“Yandere did visit you, Chrome,” Plus interjects, “Oliver was right, Yandere came in the day Dr. Iplier let him leave the clinic to see you.” He pauses, as though he isn’t sure he should continue, but he ultimately does: “He held your hand for half an hour and just talked to you. He asked me a bunch of questions about what we were doing to fix you. He was obviously really worried about you, and I’m sure he still is.”

Chrome purses his lips, but doesn’t answer. Just because Yandere forgives him doesn’t mean he deserves it.

“Look, Red,” Oliver begins, smiling gently, “I know you feel guilty, but I also know you’ll just feel guiltier if you avoid Yandere knowing how much he wants to see you. As much as I want you to hang out here all day so I can hug you and hear you gripe at me, and how much Google and Plus want that too, even if they won’t admit it–” Google sighs, Plus sputters. “–we all know you’ll be much better off talking to Yandere first. I’m the one here who knows how emotions work,” Oliver continues, putting a hand on Chrome’s chest over his core, “And trust me when I say you need to get what you’re feeling off your chest. And it won’t mean anything to you and your wellbeing if you tell it to us. You have to talk to Yandere for your own sake, the sooner the better.”

Chrome looks away. He hates it when Oliver’s right.

“Fine,” he mutters, “I’ll talk to him.”

“Good,” Oliver replies with a grin.

“Hopefully you’ll have that stick out of your ass when you come back,” Google gripes.

“Blue!” Oliver gasps, offended.

“Red always has a stick up his ass,” Plus puts in, “Even when he feels fine.”

“Green!!” Oliver cries.

Chrome can’t find it in himself to be offended as he watches his brothers bicker, but he does manage a tiny grin.

~~~

Chrome isn’t used to not knowing something.

He’s a sentient search engine, he’s an android with access to every bit of information humanity has ever discovered. In mere moments he can find the answer to almost anything, or determine the best advice, or learn anything at all.

Yet, even with the world’s knowledge at his fingertips, Chrome has no idea what to say to Yandere.

He’s on his way to his friend’s (are they still friends? Can they still be friends?) room, mulling over how he’s going to apologize and how he’s going to begin making up for what he’s done. He isn’t surprised to know that Yandere is worried about him, but it’s easy to worry about someone when they’re hurt. But concern doesn’t come as easily when that someone is okay again, and that someone nearly killed you a week and a half ago. Yandere’s brushed off every small injury he’s gotten from sparring in the past, but how can he brush off almost being murdered by his best friend? Chrome remembers the fear in his face, remembers how he ran the instant he realized what was wrong with Chrome. The worst part is that Chrome can’t even blame him. Frankly, if Yandere never wanted to speak to him again, it would be his right to, and Chrome would understand. The biggest question isn’t whether or not Yandere will forgive him–although it is admittedly a big question–but whether Chrome even deserves to be forgiven.

Chrome can’t find the answer to that in his database, but he’s inclined to say no.

He’s so deep in his own head he doesn’t realize he’s not the only person in the hallway until he hears a gasp.

He looks up, and of course, why wouldn’t it be Yandere?

True to his brothers’ word, Yandere looks fine. He looks like he was never injured in the first place. But what does that matter after all that happened?

“Aka-kun! You’re okay!!” Yandere exclaims, a grin lighting up his face. He starts running to Chrome, closing the distance between them, no doubt wanting to hug him.

Chrome looks away, keeping his arms at his sides. A hug doesn’t feel deserved right now, it doesn’t feel safe. He knows it’s irrational, but he can’t help but fear that he’ll hurt Yandere again; that something will happen or something in his systems will break and he’ll finish what he started in the dojo. Still, he expects Yandere to hug him anyway, as he is wont to do.

But instead, he hears Yandere’s running steps halt. He looks up in confusion to see Yandere standing a few feet away, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands, a sad and anxious expression on his face.

“I’m…I…” Yandere starts, then pauses, pursing his lips. He thinks another moment, sighs, and tries again. “I didn’t…I’m sorry.”

Chrome’s eyes go wide and his confusion layers with shock.

“What?” he says before he can stop himself.

“What happened, it…” Yandere says, taking in a shuddering breath. He’s going to cry, Chrome thinks in disbelief. “It was preventable,” Yandere continues, “If I’d maintained the dojo better, or noticed, or…just, realized the kanabo was unstable…” He sniffles. “It wouldn’t have fallen, or–oh! If I hadn’t p-pushed you into the wall, th-that too…” He tries to giggle, but it sounds like a sob. He scrubs at his eyes and takes another deep breath. “I never ever wanted either of us to get hurt, e-especially not y-you, I didn’t…” He ducks his head, looks up again. “I’m…sorry. Aka-kun, I’m sorry.” He stares at Chrome with teary eyes. The irises aren’t bright red yet, but they’re not their normal chocolate either.

Yandere, Chrome realizes, is trying so hard not to lose his composure. He’s trying so hard not to just burst into tears. His hands are fidgeting again, a sure sign that he’s desperately restraining himself from reaching out to Chrome. Yandere’s fighting to stay in control of his feelings, and for what? He’s never held back his emotions from Chrome before, not since their friendship was developing and new and Chrome had said something cruel. Is that what this is? Is Yandere afraid to show Chrome emotion now? But why does he have such emotion to hide in the first place? Chrome can tell just from looking at him, from his system’s automatic analysis of Yandere’s expression and tears: Yandere is crying because he’s sad, because he’s in despair, and if he’s afraid of anything at all, it’s rejection. Rejection from Chrome, of all people. He’d be better off if Chrome rejected him, as far as Chrome’s concerned.

“What the hell are you sorry for?” Chrome asks, incredulous and a little angry, because he doesn’t know what else to be. “Why are you apologizing to me??”

Yandere blinks, surprise denting his sadness.

“I…caused this,” Yandere says, “I almost got you killed.”

“You think that means you deserved what happened?” Chrome asks, accusing, “You think you deserved getting beaten with a kanabo and strangled? All because you didn’t perfectly examine the dojo before we sparred??”

“I–” Yandere tries, shrinking back slightly.

“Yandere, I tried to kill you, don’t you get that!?” Chrome shouts, anger sharpening his tone, “I wanted to kill you! If no one had shown up I would have!! Do you think that I was still me somewhere in there? That my personality was trapped in the back of my mind when my secondary objective came online?? Do you think I watched myself killing you and tried to stop it?? Because I didn’t, Yandere, that’s not how it works!!” A note of desperation enters Chrome’s voice. “The moment I woke up, my only goal was to destroy mankind. I had nothing else going on in my head. I saw you, and I wanted, I needed to kill you. Oh, but it’s not that I didn’t know who you were,” Chrome adds with a bitter, shaky laugh, “I knew exactly who you were. I knew exactly what your strengths and weaknesses were, I knew your blind spots, I knew how fast you could run. I knew fucking everything, and I used what I knew to try to kill you.” Chrome runs his hands through his hair, ends up gripping the sides of his head. “While I was strangling you, I knew how much pressure it would take to snap your neck, and the only reason I didn’t was that I was having too much fun. I was having fun murdering you. I watched you dying in front of me and I was already wondering who to kill next.” Chrome’s hands leave his head to return to his sides, balling into fists. “So I’m gonna fucking ask you again: What the hell are you sorry for?”

Yandere doesn’t speak, he only stares. His eyes are wide, and his jaw hangs open. It takes him a long moment to compose himself, and even then, it’s clear he doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” Chrome mutters, suddenly exhausted, “I’m so fucking sorry, but I know it doesn’t matter. I know “sorry” doesn’t even begin to cover it. And honestly, I already know why you’re sorry. You’re sorry because you’re you, and you blame yourself for everything, but Yandere, just this once, please blame the person who’s actually in the wrong.”

Yandere’s expression falls.

“You’re my friend, Aka-kun–”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t do something terrible.”

“It wasn’t your fault!”

“It wasn’t yours, either! You can’t predict the future!”

“You almost died, too, you know! You were hurt longer than I was!!”

“I was hurt because a kanabo fell on my head, you were hurt because I tried to kill you!”

“But you didn’t, I’m fine!”

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen!!”

“Aka-kun, please, listen to me for a second!!”

All at once, Chrome realizes that Yandere’s right in front of him, barely a foot away. He hadn’t even realized Yandere was coming closer. He doesn’t walk any further, though, remaining still as he sighs.

“I’ve thought about all that,” Yandere admits, “About everything. About what happened and your part in it, and about how it makes me feel.” He looks down like he’s ashamed. “I had a couple nightmares about it, I…I was scared to see you while you healing, partly because I didn’t want to see you hurt, but partly because I was afraid, even if I couldn’t admit it to myself. Once I knew you were gonna be okay and I really thought about it, I…” He laughs a little, subdued and quiet. “I talked to Dad for a while. I didn’t want to be scared of you, I didn’t want one awful thing to ruin everything good between us. I thought about it and I talked about it, and…I just…” He looks back up at Chrome. “I’d still rather blame myself than you, but I understand, I know it was an accident. I know that neither of us should blame anybody, I’m just…I’m still internalizing it. What happened to us is never going to happen again. It was just…like, a perfect storm of bad coincidences. And I don’t want us blaming ourselves or each other over coincidences.” He sighs. “We just…we have to trust each other. And ourselves.”

“How?” Chrome asks, voice hollow. “How am I…How am I supposed to trust myself with you now?”

“By jumping in,” Yandere says simply.

Before Chrome can reply, Yandere reaches out, taking both of Chrome’s hands in his.

Chrome’s core stutters, hitching so loud Chrome is sure Yandere can hear it. But he doesn’t react, he doesn’t even look at him. He stares at Chrome’s hands, like he’s waiting for something. Chrome stands stiff, doesn’t even hold Yandere’s hands back. He realizes he’s too afraid to.

Slowly, Yandere lifts Chrome’s hands, bringing them higher and closer, until Chrome’s palms are lying against either side of Yandere’s neck.

If Chrome’s systems were concerned before, they’re full-on panicking now. His nervous system is screaming at him to pull away, to let go, to wrench his hands away from Yandere’s neck before something horrible happens. He can feel his core flaring up with anxiety, fear, dread, things Chrome isn’t used to feeling. He wonders if the emotional overload might make him glitch, and the thought of glitching only makes his emotions run higher. He doesn’t want to hurt him, he doesn’t want to hurt him again–

“Aka-kun,” Yandere says, finally breaking the silence.

It’s as if he could sense Chrome getting too caught up in his own head. The simple mention of his name brings Chrome back, grounds him, makes him focus on what his senses are telling him and not what his mind is screaming at him.

He can feel Yandere’s neck against his hand, feel his pulse thrumming away. He can feel Yandere’s hands over his, holding on loosely but tight enough to stop Chrome from immediately pulling away if he tries. He can see Yandere’s expression, see the lingering fear, but also the calm, the care, the love. Yandere’s eyes close, and he breathes in. When he opens his eyes again, they’re bright red.

“I’m still a little scared of you,” Yandere whispers, “But I’m more scared of losing you.”

Chrome can tell. Yandere’s scared of him like he feared, but it’s clear he’s much more scared that this won’t work, scared that they’re each too far gone in guilt and blame to love each other like before.

Yandere breathes in again, shaky, and smiles. A few tears escape his eyes, tracing down his cheeks.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, “It’s okay.”

We have to trust each other.

Chrome feels a keen ache in his chest, feels tears well up in his own eyes.

And ourselves.

They stay like that, soaking in the moment, relearning how to feel, for what seems like years.

Finally, Yandere speaks again, breaking the spell.

“I forgive you,” he whispers, “I…I forgive me.”

At last, Chrome moves his hands, but only to put one around Yandere’s shoulders and one on his back to pull him close. The remaining distance between them is finally closed as Chrome hugs Yandere tight, and Yandere hugs him back.

“I forgive you,” Chrome repeats, voice shaky, “I’ll…I’ll try to forgive myself. I d-don’t know if I can yet.”

“That’s okay,” Yandere murmurs, beginning to rub Chrome’s back with one hand, “No matter what, you’re my friend, and I love you.”

Chrome buries his face in Yandere’s shoulder.

“I love you, too,” he whispers.

If Chrome lets a few tears slip out of his eyes and into Yandere’s shirt, no one knows but the two of them, and no one points it out.

#yandereplier #googleplier #markiplier fanfiction #my writing #markiplier #fanfic #kristin says stuff #i always feel like i'm cheating when i use the googleplier tag for chrome #but google's actually in this chapter a bit so i guess it's fine #however i will not apologize for the feels levels of this chapter #i've had the scene with yan moving chrome's hands in my head since i started writing this fic #i loved writing this asfglghs

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animelove-cg · 4 years

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The reason why.

Bakudeku short story. Part 1 of 2

It was a Friday afternoon just after lunch ended. The class 1-A was gathered in their class room about to learn about extracted quirk effects .

Mister Aizawa held up a small vile in his hands. "Alright everyone, today we are going to demonstrate the effects of a quirk extraction. "He bagan to explain before a blonde hothead chimed in. "Lame. We already know how that works, you take the extraction and you start acting out the effects of the quirk. What is there to learn?!" Katsuki Bakugo sneered.

"Then I'm sure you wont mind being a part of the demonstration would you Bakugo." Replied mister Aizawa.

"Give me that damn bottle, no way some puny serum is gonna work on me!" *he takes it in one gulp* "By the way, this is a memory quirk serum. This will give us a peek into Bakugos life as an elementry school child. The memories shown are thoses tied to strong emotions the holder has." Midoriya looks up at the screen mister Aizawa motioned torwards. "We will be able to see them here, this is a strong serum. You may end up regretting this." He says as he looks at Bakugo "tch.." Is the last sound he made before looking up at the screen.

"Kachaaan!" Ran a little Midoriya giggling chasing after Katsuki. "Hurry up Izuku we're gonna miss it!" A small Bakugo with a big smile clutches his hand as they run to the store together. The store was just an ordinary utility store with t.v.s in the front window facing out. They were always playing Almight hero videos. Their favorite hero. Both boys awed in amazement glued to the window.

"Wow it doesn't get any cooler than Almight" he said "Yeah! Hes the best in the who universe!" Cheered Izuku.

"Wanna come over to my house and play heros?" Asked little Bakugo. "Yeah lets go!" Beamed little Midoriya.

*the class let out some awwws and giggles. As Midoriya was red and Katsuki just growled.

The scene flashed, then a new scene appeared.

"Izuku!" Shouted a small bakugo, frantically running through the woods, it was raining hard, thunder roaring all around. "Izukuuuuu!!!" He screamed. "Damnit, I never should have ran ahead of you... Izukuu!!!!" He stopped just outside of the woods leading into the park. There in the tube like structure, was a terrified Izuku, cold and covering his ears to shield him from the thunder.

"There you are!" *a concerned Bakugo climbed into the tube next to him. He held little Izuku rubbing his arm. "Its gonna be okay, the storm should pass soon. I'm sorry for running off like that." He said, trying to comfort the sniffling Izuku. "Hey be strong, were gonna be pro heros one day. We cant let a little thunder get the best of us." Midoriya sniffled and looked up at him with a wiggly forced smile. "Right." Small Bakugo just smiled and ruffled the little Izukus hair. Making him giggle.

The rain cleared and the sun started to peak through the clouds as a small group of boys walked up to the structure. "Whats this, a couple of homos?" One of the kids taunted. "How disgusting." Bakugo leapt out of the structure, landing an explosion right near the kids face. "Shut the hell up!!!" The kids stood back, frightened. He held his hand out to the structure. "Come on Izuku, we're leaving." Little Midoriya climbed out and grabbed his hand to be led home."Ignore them, they're just big idiots. A bunch of extras." Midoriya stared down at the ground while being led by young Katsuki. "What did they mean Kachan?.. When they said that." Young Bakugo looked down. "They just didn't like how close we were. That word. Its when a boy likes another boy." He explained.

"Does that mean.. I'm not not supposed to like Kachan?" Izuku said sniffling. Little Katsuki blushed "No no you've got it all wrong Izuku.... Don't worry about it. They're just a bunch of bullies."

The class was silent. As the screen flashed again.

*push* a small Bakugo was pushed to the ground. "Why do you always hang out with that loser, didn't you hear, he doesn't have a quirk!" Taunted some older kids.

"You're never gonna be a hero if you hang out with a useless lame brain like that!" Another one pipes up. Then one leans down "Wait a minute. Is it because you have a little crush on him? Oh man! You do! You want to protect him like he's your little girlfriend don't you!."

"Shut up!!!!!.. " The small Bakugo charges them, explosions rolling out of his hands as one of the kids falls to the ground. "Your gonna regret this!" The biggest said as he scurried to his feet to flee. "Cowards!.." Yelled the small Bakugo as he held in a sniffle.

Dead silent... Another flash..

A small boy sitting in his room, crying. He was looking down at a picture his best friend gave him. Two little kids yellow spikes on one indicating his own blonde hair, and green swirls indicating his best friend. Freckles dotted on his circular face. Izuku had given it to him that day after they returned home from the park. It was him and his best friend hand in hand. With a heart around it. "Damnit!.. We were gonna be heros together.. Then I heard you didn't have a quirk and.." Sobbing got louder "All I want to do is protect you!.. But if I do that!.. If I let you follow me... You could end up getting hurt!.." The small boys tears filling the page..

As his sobbing starts to lighten. He looks at the page once more. "To get you to stop following me.. I'll have to make you hate me.. Thats the only way I can keep you safe, Izuku."

Midoriya watched.. Eyes wide, heart aching.. Everything becoming clear. *his hand reached out to touch Kachans shoulder. Just as contact was made he jumped up and bolted out the door.

Gritting his teeth, anything to keep these damn tears from falling.

Everything blurry as he failed to hold them in. Everything drowned out. Unaware of the green hair and freckles that tracked behind him. He quickly took a corner. Running, where though? His room, the roof? Roof it was, they'd expect him to go to his room first right? He busted through the door, making sure it was shut behind him. Slowly trailing over to the wall, he slides down, face in his arms.

Midoriya rushed after him, losing him around a corner. 'Damnit where did he go? To his room' The green haired boy reached the room to find a smiling Kaminari waiting for him. Wrong way man.

The door to the roof swung open, causing Katsuki to flinch before he roared. "GO THE HELL AWAY!!!"

"Sorry man, not happening." Answered a smiling sympathetic Kirishima.

He walked over and sat down next to the blonde haired boy who was no longer sobbing. Instead. He looked broken, lost. "So, that happened.... You know, we never said anything but, we always knew something was up with how you treated Midoriya..."

Bakugo lifts his head resting it against the wall. Silent. "Come on man.. Nobody puts that much energy into hating someone without a seriously deep reason... So... You gonna tell him?" Asked Kirishima. "I don't think I can face him. Not like this." Bakugo said in a low voice. "But you know you cant leave things as it is, and you can only avoid him for so long man." Kirishima said with concern for the boy sitting next to him. "You need to talk to him.. He's not going to hurt your feelings, you know he's not like that." "I hurt him Kirishima, for years. I pushed him around, tore into him, broke him. Told him to go jump of a building. I've pushed him so hard. I cant just write it all off with some lame ass apology. I don't deserve to get let off that easy! What am I supposed to do? Ask for his forgiveness? No! I don't deserve it......" Saying something silent as he drops his head again. "No matter how much I love him."

Door opens to the roof. "Maybe you should let him decide that for himself. Beside, he is the heart of this problem." Kirishima stood and started torwards the door. Bakugo grabbed his shirt. "What would I even say." Kirishima looked back. "...I'm Sorry obviously... And while your at it. Tell him the truth.. All of it." Kirishima continued to the door, revealing a yellow haird Kaminari and beside him, a distraught Izuku. He rushed to Katsuki, dropping to his knees right in front of him. Sobbing, he threw his arms around the blonde leaving him shocked. "I'm so sorry Kachan!!" He cried. "What?..." Katsuki said quietly in shock. "Why... Are you apologizing... To me." Izuku pulled back sitting on his knees, tears still streaming out of his face. "I should have known.. You were hurting.. And I didn't even see it." Bakugo just sat there. Shocked at the boys words. "I always thought that you stopped talking to me because I was always following you. That you were maybe afraid they would keep teasing you because of me." The blonde snapped. "Like I would give a damn what those bastards think!" The green haired boy looked up at him. "But then why... After I ended up with a quirk. Why did you still.." "I was hurt, I thought you were hiding it from me. And I was mad at myself. For thinking you were weak, for pushing you away." Tears starting to fall from his face. "Damnit, I'm sorry... For everything. The hell I put you through. I said I was protecting you but instead I ended up hurting you. After you I saw you had a quirk. For a split second I was relieved. I could finally stop the act. But then, it all came back. The guilt. The pain. I didn't have the right to be anything of worth to you." They both sat there silent. "Do you know how long I've waited.... For you to drop that damn act."

Katsuki lifted his head just as Izuku swiftly leaned forward and pressed his lips against the blonde mess in front of him, pulling him into the kiss by the collar of his shirt. 'Why' is all Katsuki could think. 'Why after everything.' Overwhelmed and exhausted he gave in. Lifting his hand, slipping his fingers into the wispy green green hair of the boy in front of him. Pressing hard into his kiss before parting for a second just to lean in again. Both of them longing for this feeling. Each others touch consuming them in a wave of ecstacy. After what seemed like a dream.

(Stay tuned to find out what happens next c;)

#bakudeku #katsuki bakugō #bakugou x midoriya #bakugou x deku #bakugou fluff #bnha

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ardalionandnatalia · 7 years

Conversation

Ardalion and Natalia (X)

Katya is awakening now.

Katya just had a dream about the first time she and Kuzma came together.

She blinks as she wakes up and realizes she is not with Kuzma any longer.

Having entered the temple with her bundles of sheaves, herbs and flowers, Natalia is led to bathe and purify herself. She does so, and then seeks Katya in the woman's assigned chambers.

She sighs, feeling cold and sad as she remembered what had happened to her.

Had she really died, though, she wondered? She did not recall dying. She had only assumed she was dead after talking to Sam and the others.

She see Katya sleeping, now stirring. She kneels down beside her bedside and awaits for her to wake fully.

Katya: Natalia?

Folding her hands in her lap, Natalia poses still. Hearing her name uttered, she raises slightly, nearing Katya now, over her bed.

Natalia: Are you awake now? *gently draws back the covers and helps Katya sit up in bed*

Katya: yes, I am fine. Thank you for attending to me. What will happen next?

Natalia: *bows head in respectful deference, since Iole tasked her with serving Katya and preparing her for tomorrow* Iole and the other oracles are in the midst of final preparations and prayers to appeal for the forecast tomorrow. Iole has asked me to guide you through the final preparations you and I must undergo, since I am to be your companion when we traverse down into the inner core of the temple, beneath the ground. Today, you must be dressed and taught how to offer offerings to ensure you are answered.

Katya: I see. Thank you for guiding me. Are we heading out now to the core of the temple?

Natalia: No, not yet- we need to dress and prepare our garments before we are summoned by the oracles. It's not tomorrow yet. We have many things to do today. *offers Katya her hand, though wonders if Katya will be alarmed by her own boniness and claws. Ardalion's words still gnaw on her about bodies and such.*

Katya does not seem phased and takes her hand.

She is careful not to touch the claws, but does not seem to really care.

Natalia notices that Katya's forearms have some small scars on them from the years of working at the factory.

Surprised by her acceptance, Natalia glances down at their hands, and in the growing light of the sunlight shafting through, she notices the fine, pale scars lining and splotching Katya's arms. Natalia realizes Katya has lived a hard live and is determined to make this new life easier for her. She feels a swell of sympathy for the composed woman before her.*

Katya looks at her curiously, but does not indicate any other emotions otherwise.

Katya: You seem to be very curious about me.

Natalia: Let's go to the outer hall- we have better lighting, and we can prepare our garments and headdresses for tomorrow. I'll show you yours, as I'll be making it for you. Yes, you do elicit my curiosity- you're from another land, another people. I'm curious, especially since you are from the future, at least to me. You're two centuries beyond me. Come, let's go to the outer hall. The sun shining and there's a nice breeze.

Katya: Ardalion is also from my time and my country. I see you have been talking to him a lot. How do you find him...?

Natalia: I found him, along with another man, a man from England, who disappeared. Ardalion developed an altered form with powers, and we slain a trio of monsters together. He is a vain creature, fueled by the basest. I dislike him now and do not wish to speak to him. He is amusing with his ideas, he fancies himself some sort of philsopher, but he is like some upstart who thinks they're another Descartes or Prometheus because they read a few books or get promoted in their trades.

Katya: ...I see.

Katya bows her head.

Katya: You dislike Ardalion?

Natalia: I do- what of it? Let's focus on you and your goal here. Enough talk of him. Or the men here.

Katya: I don't truly dislike him. I still like him somewhat, to be honest. He is a charming man. My goal here is to see the vision to see my husband again, right? Well, this is related. My husband and Ardalion actually share my traits in common. Perhaps this is why I can't dislike Ardalion entirely, still, after all that has happened.

Natalia: Charming? I suppose he can be. But he's a lewd brute as well. Let's focus on your husband. And your baby.

I know what you mean, though. About not hating someone entirely. I and my mother... well.... it is complicated. She and I were as complex at the Gordian knot. And it seems we tied that knot between ourselves, equally at fault.

Katya's mouth tightens.

Katya: Indeed, things can be like that sometimes. Shall we progress with the ritual now? One more thing. Lewdness is not necessarily a bad thing. Or perhaps I'm wording it wrongfully.

Katya frowns.

Katya: I'm not good at expressing myself sometimes. I wasn't that well educated, unlike Ardalion and my husband.

Natalia: *nods, and leads Katya to a low-legged table, laden with a cloth, on top of which are bundles of herbs and fresh flowers, plus ripened wheat sheaves and fresh, supple sprigs* Education can only do so much- I too am educated, yet I fail at being gentle and kind. It's hard for me to make friends or be liked.

Katya: Emotional expression plays a large role in getting people to like you.

Natalia: It's better to be a better person, than have all the education in the world. Better to be enlightened, than scholarly.

Katya: There is nothing wrong with being scholarly though. *she frowns, hating herself for being a peasant*

Natalia: Yes, you are right. And I have a bad temper, as you might see in the future, Katya. You should be warned.

Katya: Enlightenment doesn't always come to the blind who have blind faith.

Natalia: Scholars can solve problems, but never themselves.

Katya: one must learn about the world with open eyes and not rely on blind faith as the uneducated are wont to do. My husband is a scholar.

Natalia: Perhaps. Enlightenment is a choice. Arrogance can barricade a person from choosing enlightenment. It demands humility at times. Then he is fortunate to have you, then.

Katya: and ignorance often means succumbing to drunkenness and abuse. I've seen it all.

Natalia: I lived among the educated- drunkenness and abuse are in all people.

Katya: You and I are from different cultures, different times. Where you come from, it seems like the women, in particular, act very differently. The way you talk about your mother...

Natalia: My mother, despite being the most educated and refined lady of the highest breeding, was a cruel soul. She was violent, too. She killed my father when he became blind after an accident.

Katya: It is not common where I come from for a woman to act like that.

Katya bites her lip again.

Natalia: Let's forget the past, and focus on what's before us. You want to see your husband and child again, do you not?

Katya: Yes.

Natalia: I am fortunate fate gave me another mother in Iole, though I respect her enough not to call her so.

Katya: I don't need a mother.

Natalia: Let me show your headdress, it's different from mine and the others.

Katya: I am glad you have found one though.

Natalia: But I do. So let's focus on our task at hand.

Katya: You like to talk back a lot, don't you?

Her tone is not angry or reproachful, merely curious. She's never talked with someone who replies like this before.

Natalia: Yes. What of it? Does it displease you that I do?

Katya: Most people I know would have just ended the conversation just then. No, it's just peculiar. And makes me wonder if I have angered you with my different opinions. I personally don't like talking back, so maybe that is why I thought for a while you were angry at me.

Natalia: *softens and lowers sharpened guard down* We are different, for sure, Katya. I hope I have not angered you, or given you offense. *grows thoughtful* I guess I talk back because I felt a need to talk back. Like if I didn't talk back, I'd have no power, and others could demean me, or overpower me. I like to voice what I think and feel, because for so long, I was forbidden to do so. Why do you dislike talking back? You are shy, I think?

Katya looks away.

Katya: I want to avoid conflict at all means. I don't mean to disturb you. Let's just go back to the task at hand.

Natalia: You should not be afraid, now that you're in this new world. You don't have to worry about the conflict being bold would have had in your life and world. *picks up the sheaves and supple, green sprigs to make Katya's headdress*

Katya doesn't respond. She doesn't quite appreciate Natalia lecturing her, however, and thinks that people should just agree to disagree. She dislikes the idea of talking back just for the sake of it, particularly to a stranger like Natalia.

Katya: Thank you for helping me out again.

Katya: *to herself* I'm bold in my own way. Who does this person think she is, lecturing me? She doesn't know anything about me and assumed I was even shy. If I wasn't bold, how would I not have made the connections I did with Galkin? I would not have gotten close to Kuzma if I was not bold, either. It took guts for me to find and approach him again, for me to start our relationship!

Natalia: *glances at Katya sideways and senses her inner annoyance. Natalia regrets her brash assumptions and how she paraded them before Katya. She attempts to reconcile*

Natalia: You

Katya thinks she'll never see Natalia again anyways, so what is the point of thinking so much about this?

Katya doesn't say anything and stares straight ahead.

Katya: Is something the matter?

Natalia: You're irked by what I said, are you not? I'm sorry. I assumed too much. In truth, I do not know you, so I can't understand you entirely, and what you do, and how you act.

Natalia: Forgive me.

Katya: I am not angry with you. Please proceed.

Katya closes her eyes, hiding a dismissive look away from Natalia.

Katya: *to herself* and this is why I usually don't have female friends. They assume too much and they think they can tell you all of these things on a first meeting.

Katya thinks it's a great irony that she was thrown into this mostly female world and the only two males here are Ardalion and Sam of all people.

Natalia: *opens her mouth as though she desires to pursues this matter further, but seeing Katya's dismissive look, feels piqued and meek. Hangs her head slightly, wanting to withdraw a bit. She has driven away yet another, and she regrets it was a newcomer as Katya is.*

Katya has not really given Natalia much thought as she thinks about Sam and how humorous he is.

Natalia: No, we have to prepare here. *grows a bit pensive. She senses Katya dislikes her company.* *bites her lip down, not wanting to fail Iole and vex Katya any further*

Katya: What do we do to prepare?

Natalia: *begins picking up the sheaves and sprigs, now bending the supple, tender sprigs into a U-shape, like a crown of sorts* We first need to make your headdress. Because you're a wife and mother, your headdress must be fashioned with ripened sheaves of wheat and corn, to symbolize your fruitfulness in life as a wife and mother. *holds up a golden sheave as she explains, the fine bristled head of the sheave glimmers slightly in the sunlight*

Katya: What if I was only a wife and not a mother? Then what?

Natalia: *places down Katya's designated headdress and picks up several flowers* Then your headdress would be of these- these flowers symbolize the woman before motherhood and marriage- she has not lived long into life, so she is like a flower.

Natalia: It's the same if you're wife and not a mother.

Katya: I see.

Natalia: But you're both, you're a wife and a mother.

Katya looks at Natalia for a while and is tempted to ask if she was married, but doesn't.

Katya feels that Natalia is indignant about this topic.

Katya: Yes, I am. I didn't know I would be, to be honest. But that's a topic for another day.

Natalia: Mine differs because I was never a wife, nor a mother.

Katya: I see. It is interesting. It must be liberating to never be a wife and mother.

Natalia: Yes, it was for the best. I'm not fit for either role. But let's return to yours. It will look very nice once I'm done.

Katya: especially since you seem very at peace with your choice, and the fact that you long to be mentored by a woman.

Natalia: Liberty only comes to those who can enjoy it despite their lives. I could be free as a mother and wife, or free as a woman on my own. A woman on her own can be just as oppressed.

Katya: Can I help you make the headdress?

Natalia: I'm sorry. I spoke too much. Let's focus on the task at hand, here. Almost finished- yes, please help me*notices her claws are tangled and tied in the delicate threads of the stripped sprig- holds out her hands to Katya to untangle and then re-tie the sheaves to the bent sprig*

Katya untangles and helps her to re-tie.

Katya: I never got along well with women, to be honest. I cannot imagine living here that long. I'm sorry about the comment I made about not wanting a mother when you clearly have alway wanted one. I spoke too soon.

Natalia: *looks thoughtfully at her, pauses for a moment before she speaks*

Katya: I just never felt the need to connect with any woman, to be honest. I've always had difficulties for some reason. I've always felt that women were judgmental, rude, and nitpicking.

Natalia: May I be honest with you, Katya?

Katya: And I admire people with strong goals who climb the social ladder. most women I knew and know are not like that. That is why I always felt the most comfortable with men. What do you want to say?

Natalia: Back in my life, when I lived as a human, I too never sought or even liked the company of women. They all seemed, as you say, just as you say- nitpicking, assumptive, meanly-minded, materialistic, and cruel creatures. All I saw were women like my mother, so many women like her. And my prioresses as well, who were no better than her. I met one girl who was a friend to me, but I lost her. Men were intelligient, they did things, they advance and moved the world in ways women were not allowed in my time. I wanted to join that world. I liked the company of men, like my father, Andrea, Signors Morosini and Di Petro, and even an unusal and unlikely friend in Calafado. I relished their company and took comfort in their understanding and acceptance.

Natalia: Even Calafado was kinder to me than my own mother.

Katya: I see.

Katya sighs and looks away. She was not expecting Natalia's life story.

She feels too tired and overwhelmed to have a proper conversation about these kind of things. She feels a bit guilty she hasn't been very open to talking more to Natalia, though.

Natalia: But I spoke too much now, I'm irritating you. See*holds up the headdress before Katya* It's finished now.

Katya feels that Natalia's personality is somewhat like Liza's--very acidic, critical and overly emotional. This somewhat disturbs her.

Katya decides to smile and take the headdress and forget all of this came up.

Katya: Thank you! This looks wonderful.

Natalia: *gestures for Katya to bow her head so she can crown the piece on her head*

Katya bows her head.

Natalia: *carefully secures the headdress between her ears and weaves a few strands of her light hair to fully latch the piece like a crown*

Katya: I bet this looks great on me. Thank you for your wonderful help, Natalia.

Natalia: Yes, you look fit now. Now for your robes.

Natalia: *ducks into another hall, speaks with another oracle, and is handed two folds of robes, one for herself, one for Katya*

Katya: What will you be doing to my robes?

Natalia: *gestures for her to stand in another hall where the sun is shining the least, so there is shade*

Natalia: We need to dress you now, in these special robes.

Natalia: *lies out Katya's robes on a lit patch of the mosaic floor, a white peplos with a red himation, the red symbolizing her marriage and motherhood*

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thedeadlycatnip-archived · 7 years

Note

ur gonna feed their hearts to your young? lmao i thought you were the stable one in the relationship

:33 im guessing a human sent this, so i forgive you for your ignorance

:33 *ac cracks her knuckles, getting ready to type up a long post and puts it under a cut to stop from clogging dashes, h33h33h33h33*

:33 alright, you have to understand how alternia works. while we may not be there anymore, the impressions of it are still with all of us from there in my timeline

:33 karkat still types in gray and doesnt like people looking him in the eyes because even though none of us are going to hurt him, he still has this inherent fear that hes going to be hurt or even killed for his color

:33 kanaya still f33ls a n33d to tend to the mothergrub and all of the grubs she produces. she actually enjoys this is does it happily, but it was also a role given the jade bloods on alternia. not all of them liked it

:33 even though we arent on alternia, we still grew up with this for six sw33ps of our lives. thats thirt33n human years. thats in our very formative years. that was the norm from our hatching

:33 this also relates to the way we s33 our relationships. even though a lot of people have abandoned the quadrant system, such as the alpha dave from my timeline with karkat (as opposed to the dave i shared a sprite with who was from a doomed timeline offshoot), who are basically in all of the quadrants and yet none of them at the same time

:33 but not all of us can abandon it. and even if we did, its still very useful for defining emotions. and my f33lings for equius are still very pale

:33 theres a strong intamacy betw33n moirails. to a lot of humans, we look more like a red couple than a pale one. were always there for each other. we look out for each other and love the other with all of our blood pusher. there is nothing we wouldnt do for the other

:33 we are also there to protect them, both physically and emotionally. regardless as to if one is “stable” and one is “unstable”, when in reality moirails, both on alternia and beforus, are to balance each other out. they k33p the other grounded

:33 equius always kept me firmly grounded in reality. i may have acted happy, but living alone in the forest with only my lusus wasnt exactly the happiest situation. at times, it was down right depressing, being basically all alone. the only time before the game that i had ever actually met someone in real life was when i nearly died and equius saved my life

:33 i would escape into these fantasies of roleplays, to try and escape myself and my dissatisfaction with myself and my situation. most of my friends just saw me as a cat girl. eridan literally called me a “kitty cat shipper girl” and felt entitled to me because he saved me. only terezi and equius really recognized me as the strong, fierce huntress that i am. i mean, everyone else knew but they didnt really treat me like that. tavros came close, and bless him for it

:33 for equius, back then, was full of anger, and he still is. its not something he can help. he just has fits of violence and n33ds to break things to k33p himself under control, and that was with me. but he wasnt unstable. he was good at k33ping his emotions in check. the only instability he had was his anger. and my instability was in my sense of reality. i knew what was real and what was fake, but i had always preferred fantasy over reality, and he pulled me out of that

:33 things changed after the game. when i was a part of davepetasprite^2, i got more in contact with my aspect. i have next to no powers over it, but i understood it better. and then equius was a part of arquiusprite, and hal acted horribly to him the whole time

:33 we both changed, in different ways, but we still completed each other well. we still k33p each other grounded, just in different ways now. we k33p each other grounded emotionally. we are still very intimate and very pale

:33 why am i explaining all of this to you? because once you understand the relationship better, you can understand the roles better. and a moirail has a lot of roles

:33 our first and foremost priority is to protect our palemate in every sense of the word. physically, mentally, romantically, all of that. neither of us really n33d physical protection as we can handle ourselves, however, if one of us is in a fight, even without the other ever asking, one of us will come running to kick ass

;33 then theres romantically. no matter the quadrant, unless youre without a palemate, you have to go through the moirail before you can take a concupiscent quadrant, those being the red and black quadrants, which is actually the improper term with troll emotions. its really called the flushed and caliginous quadrants, but due to the amount of humans on this site most of us, including myself, use red and black. a moirail is to judge a pawtential quadrant mate to s33 if there is any quality of them that might actually cause them harm. a moirails judgement is absolute and you trust their judgement above your own f33lings

:33 and then theres mentally. whenever our palemate is hurting, we do our best to comfort them and remove the problem causing them the hurt. this can also fit under romantic, but for the most part if a palemate thinks someones gonna hurt their moirail then they wont let them engage emotionally with them. so most of the time, its an outside force thats attacking their moirail

:33 when someone is doing that, you have to make them stop. my comment was directed at people who are intentionally harming him, saying hurtful things. at least, ones that s33m intentional in my eyes. and on alternia when people are intentionally, repeatedly harming your moirail, you get rid of them

:33 to you humans, this may s33m strange. cruel even. but its really not. its protecting the people close to you. they may not be physically hurting equius, but im not stupid. i know that people can be pushed emotionally into dark places and be snuffed out. the best way to stop that from happening is to get rid of them

:33 this was the norm on alternia. hell, where i live its not exactly uncommon either. its much more of a crime here, but it still happens regularly. one of my co workers was hurt horribly by her datemate and one of her friends beat him up so badly he was in the hospital for several w33ks. just like that friend, i will protect equius if i have to. i am not above murder because that is what i learned. that is how i was raised. i killed animals all my life to survive and was taught to do what it took to survive. i will do what it takes to make sure equius survives too

:33 alternian trolls are different from everyone else. we were raised in a very violent society. we were also raised in a place where natural born roles and emotional decisions were the norm. we didnt think with our minds, we thought with our hearts. are reactions were entirely emotional. and i will react emotionally if someone hurts my moirail

:33 full of anger. because i love him with all of my heart. i will do whatever it takes to ensure that he doesnt get hurt again

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bloodredruby1984 · 7 years

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For Sopherfly with Great Thanks

Prompt 2

I'm afraid it's rather convoluted and it's easier to give it to you in three or four parts. If it's too complicated to write just let me know and i'm sorry if the prompt upsets you as well. You'll also see I have a reacurring theme with my fic loves.

Again write it anyway you like as you have done an amazing job with “Just Far Enough”.

Key details

Bucky/Steve/Tony (sorry if hard to fit them in but i'm a die hard fan of this pairing)

Another civil war fic

Mpreg (again if your ok with writing it) (it can be a/b/o or just a natural thing that happens in that universe)

Temporary character death (plus temp death of unborn child) (if this is ok, I don't want to upset or trigger anyone)

Jiggery Pokery of timelines/universe as bucky is already found and no triggers in his head so no cryo sleep

First Part

The boys have been in a relationship for a year or so now (hence timeline screws), somehow steve brought bucky to the tower and a relationship formed between the three (again write anyway you like (i.e. steve and tony were together before or it just happened), tony knows about the accords but again is trying to stop them and keeping it from the rest, he again doesn't know about bucky killing his parents,

Tony has just learned he is pregnant but before he can tell his partners basically it goes to hell in a hand basket and the accords/parents come out and everyone goes mad like in the movie.

Ross has laid a lot of ground work and is trying to play the lovers against each other. He wants power and tony to himself having developed a obsession with stark (this doesn't actually have to go in the story as doesn't have much baring on this one but i'm also hoping you would write a sequel that involves this but if I am being rude asking for so many fic i'm sorry)

The fight in Siberia happens and tony cant tell them he is pregnant before the fight happens ( I have an idea in my head of tony giving another team member a letter to pass to them telling them but the team mate just destroys it without knowing anything) and steve and bucky leave for wakanda, thinking tony will be fine and will go back to america.

Part Two

Steve and the rest are in hiding when they receive word that they are free to return home as the accords have been wiped out and certain actions have been pardoned.

They go home and steve and bucky are hoping they can make things right with tony, as they leave the plane a group of people are waiting including pepper and rhodey, as bucky and steve get off they are arrested, t'challa states that he thought all the teams actions had be pardoned and no one would be arrested, rhodey replies that all actions except one had been let go: the murder of anthony edward stark by steve and bucky (at this point they stop resisting arrest and are horrified), everyone is shocked by the news and just as bucky/steve are lead away pepper informs them that even tho death of an unborn baby is not considered murder she will find a way to make it happen, as both rhodey and her think that they knew about the baby. They are arrested and everyone one else is shocked by what happened.

Part Three

this is the part where tony and baby come back.

Unbeknown to anyone else, Thor, Bruce and Doctor Strange are working on a way to bring tony/baby back, they consult thors mother on how to restore his life, she tells them that the only way to do so is to send someone/s with the strongest physical and emotional ties to tony and the baby, despite their misgivings the only people who can do it are steve and bucky so thor breaks them out of prison and takes them to Asgard where tonys body is and the rest are waiting to cast the spell. Bucky and steve enter tonys afterlife (what happens in there is up to you) and eventually bring them both back to life.

What happens after I'll leave up to you, they can be happy ever after or they can work at gaining tonys trust and forgiveness again while learning to become dads, you can add in the letter bit with the team mate racked with guilt by what they did and they have to win back tonys trust. End it in which ever way you like but please at least make it a hopeful ending if anything, plus if you want to write a sequel you can end it as such and then add more of a happy ending then.

If you would like to write it all at once but want to add the ross/sequel storyline let me know and I will give it to you.

If you'd rather not write it as I've made to it too hard or long or you think it wont work or content is a nono, no worries but thank you for taking the time to read this thru and again I cant thank you enough for just far enough, it really was amazing and everything I wanted in a fic and some I didn't know I wanted like the fight club, it was perfect and I really look forward to reading anything else you write.

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eli-reviewsthings · 7 years

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10 Ten movies of 2016

Hey everybody. That hellish year is over, and now we can spend some time looking back at all the shit things were made that we were forced to sit through, and appreciate the great ones!

10. The Lobster: Not gonna lie, I was tempted to not put this and number 9 even on this list, but god. So many bad movies came out I kinda didnt have much else to put on here. Not saying the Lobster is a bad movie, it is not, just. Difficult. This movie was difficult to watch, and probably the second most uncomfortable movie I saw this year. There were a plethora of scenes that were made me squirm in my very uncomfortable seat. The most notable of which is a woman viying for the affection of the main character botches a suicide attempt and sits, dying slowly on the ground screaming while the main character attempts to flirt with a hot sociopath. And thats kinda a lot of the movie; violent and awkward. Much to my surprise, the movie ended up being an amazing look at love and relationships, and actually had some scenes that were genuinely touching, partly because of how cold, sterile, and viscous the rest of the movie was. The biggest problem that I have with this movie however, comes from my frustration with the ending. It goes in line with movies like Birdman, that just dont seem to know how to end. Note to future directors and writers: Ambiguity is a fine tool, but understand that not having a satisfying ending is not always a good thing.

9. The Neon Demon: Whatever about the actual movie, its NWR (as he’s calling himself nowadays, groan) and I liked it, but. But. I must tell you all about the most stressful day I’ve ever had, and how it made this movie the most nerve racking experience of my life. I was staying at a hotel for anime expo with four other friends, when we were woken up at 4am by three things all happening at once: 1, the fire alarm went off, prompting 2, one of the guys woke up screaming from a nightmare while 3, one of the other guys decided to start screaming FIRE and both took off running down the hall. Later we learned it was a false alarm but I thought we were being murdered. After that I couldn’t sleep so I watched Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared which was disturbing and then the fire alarm went off 4 more times prompting one of the guys to scream every time. The I saw the Neon Demon. And honestly, it was such a stressful experience I have a hard time actually thinking about the movie because all I remember is being on my very last nerve and on the brink of a panic attack.

8. 10 Cloverfield Lane: You spend a lot of time looking at Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s ass and she is the most resourceful protagonist I’ve ever seen. It’s also a Cloverfield sequel which I love and John Goodman is a villain. Literally what more could you want.

7. Rouge One: One of the best Star Wars films by far, I actually really enjoyed Rouge One, much more than I thought I would. It did a good job developing it’s character over the course of the movie, something Star Wars has literally never done without being either extremely cliched or just plain bad. My only complaints were that a, its still way too easy to just beat Stormtroopers with sticks, though I did appreciate the breaking glass, and b, the final fight was almost impossible to follow who was where and where the enemies were coming from. Besides that, fun action movie with some really solid performances and Alan Turdyk which is all you could want from a sci fi film.

6. The Nice Guys: Listening to Ryan Gosling scream after getting his ass kicked by Russel Crowe was one of the funniest things I got to see this year. Honestly though, this was a wonderful little gem of a movie and I really enjoyed every second of it. Not the best plot, and some kinda lame character development but hey, it was the best example of slapstick humor done well I’ve seen in years. Really, just such a fun film to watch.

5. Sing: I’m really surprised myself to see this movie so high on my list but the more I thought about the movie the more I enjoyed it. I’m a theater guy, I have a degree in theater and I’ve been doing musicals since 5th grade, so a movie about the magic of theater was really lovely to sit through. It did an amazing job of taking an incredibly broad array of music and bringing it together, and then making a white kid basically be a British Weekend, but hey besides that I loved the film. Sure it had tons and tons and tons of flaws but, I’m willing to forgive a lot because films are about enjoyment and sometimes you just have to find a film, acknowledge its not the best, and love it all the same.

4. Magnificent 7: Speaking of films that aren’t the best but I loved, this is easily the best action movie to come out in years. Also, one of the few movies to do a large ensemble cast, give all the characters equal development and, almost, equal screen time and have them all feel unique. Top it off with a diverse cast, some amazing shoot outs and you the perfect recipe for a great western.

3. Deadpool: Just go and watch the title sequence. Thats why I love this movie. Deadpool as a character has a tendency to annoy me but damn Ryan Reynolds did a great job walking that thin line and delivered the best iteration of Deadpool I’ve ever seen. The movie is was the only superhero movie to come out this year, that I saw, that wasn’t the exact same garbage nonsense we’ve seen what feels like a thousand times by now. Yeah, I’m looking at you, you piece of utter shit Civil War. Or, as it should be called: We didn’t have a good fight choreographer and uh Bucky can block a shotgun blast with his hand and somehow Caps team which is basically just a bunch of normal dudes and scarlet witch, and somehow they beat iron mans team cause the writers are lazy and just churning out these pieces of shit at this point, no I’m not just angry about Cap making out with that blonde bitch after Peggy died, fuck you that movie was a complete mess and you know it. That felt good, glad I got that off my chest, lets get back to Deadpool, because it has the camera guy from Cloverfield in it and I love him and this movie was a beautiful breath of fresh air and left me very excited about the next guardians of the galaxy because hopefully it wont fall into the same traps the rest of marvel has.

2. Your Name/ Kimi no na Wa: Mokoto Shinkai could animate himself taking a shit and I’d probably love every second of it. Seriously though, I love his work, and this film was the best he’s done since Voices From a Distant Star. It has heart, gorgeous animation, great characters, and a nice dose of humor that is usually absent in his films. It’s an amazing film and if it doesn’t win best animated film at the oscar’s then they’re racist and they have no taste.

1. Arrival: When me and my mom got into the car after seeing this she started bawling. Just sobbing uncontrollably. Normally when my mom gets emotional its over things I consider dumb or just not worth crying over but this time I understood it. This movie might be one of the more moving things I’ve seen in awhile. Way back in the day, I read a book called My Name is Asher Lev, and the book starts with a quote from Kafka: “A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.” This has always been something of my compass for what separates a good thing from a great one. And by god this movie was great. Sure, it is a little cheesy, I’ll be the first to admit that, but I just don’t care. Cheesy or not this film spoke to me in ways a movie hasn’t in too long. I choking back tears so many times during the film and Amy Adams performance was masterful. This is easily the best film I’ve seen this year, and will make my list of best films of all times. I’ve seen almost all of Dennis Villenvue’s films up to Arrival, and his films have a tendency of being very dispassionate and emotionally sterile and it was truly wonderful to see him make a movie that was bursting at the seems with feeling. I could sing the praises of this film forever so I’ll end it there.

So there we have it, 10 films I saw this year and left the theater going, “Man that wasn’t as shitty as some of the other films I saw this year that was nice!” Now theres some films that just didn’t make the cut so heres some honorable mentions:

Finding Dory, Train to Busan, Kubo and the Two Strings, Star Trek Beyond and Girl on the Train.

And now some of the Shittiest movies I had the complete displeasure sitting through: Civil War (huge surprise), Don’t Breathe, Ghostbusters, Jason Bourne, and I’m sure theyre some I’m forgetting cause I don’t want to remember them.

Allin in all there were a lot of films I wanted to see that I didn’t get to, but hopefully this year I can make a list of 10 films that I enjoyed seeing! Let me know what y’all thought and I’ll see you all later with some other list in the coming days!

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