#laios is a moron | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mayohaha · 1 month

Text

Dunmeshi Fic

Laios's Bride

Couple : Laios x Kabru, slight Fallyn x Marcille

Warning (???) : Bi-Kabru, Moron Laios, NSFW 🔞

Premise : After Laios becomes the King of Melini, everyone is starting to wonder if Laios would ever marry anyone, well... will he?

P.S : I write this for my own consumption... i just need this.

Yaad (in Delgal's body) been trying so hard to push Laios to have a Bride as he said "You should have an heir to proceed the succession!" Or so he said. Despite so, everyone (except Laios) knows it's because of Laios's curse that Yaad keeps asking him to have an heir. Despite so Marcille was unsure whether Laios's curse would be inherited by his heir. This has cause Kabru to fear over Laios as his right man.

Laios, on the other hand, has been wondering about who would be his bride. It doesn't seem possible to find one for him. He did have a lover back then, but his feelings towards the person isn't even that... passionate -nor romantic enough. He also thinks about who would ever fall for him. After the demon shows him his desire to be accepted, he realizes it would be almost impossible for him to find a lover knowing people hardly understand him.

On his bed, he's lying over while daydreaming about having a bride. He is trying to portray a beautiful red hair women, but it ended up reminding him of his mom. He tried harder to find someone else, he remembered the succubi form of Marcille -but instead of that, he was too focused on the monster looks instead...

"Ugh!!! It would be easier if I'm not a King! Kabru fits this role more!!!" Laios scream within his frustration.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Brother?"

"Oh Fallyn! Yes, come inside!" shout Laios.

Fallyn opened the door and looked at her brother, looking quite messy after he got frustrated.

"I heard you screaming from outside. Did something happen?"

"Oh... uh... I'll be alright, sorry to bother you."

Fallyn sat beside him and start to pat her brother head softly.

"Marcille told me that Yaad has been quite pushy about you having an heir. She said that you might get frustrated over it. Kabru also started to get worried that it might make more problems to Melini."

Laios's face becomes paler. It does frustrate him. However, it's not like he doesn't want to have a bride and an heir. His self-esteem says that he doesn't deserve any of that. Looking at this, his little sister hugged him tight.

"No need to think too much brother, you'll find someone to love, who loves you too someday."

Fallyn coughed a bit, then she proceeded with her speech.

"-I didn't know mine too at first, till I was being told by Chillchuck that Marcille is in love with me. I just realized that she loves me that much after listening to your journey. After she confessed her jealousy and her broken heart after I tried to consider Shuro's proposal, we ended up being together."

Fallyn flustered thinking over that memory. Laios's is truly happy knowing that his sister finds someone who loves her sincerely.

"It seems impossible for me, though. But maybe -maybe I'll find one like you do Fallyn. I'm so happy for you."

Both of them are smiling to one another.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Laios, are you there?"

BAAAAAAAAAMMMM

A male voice came from outside the door. He then smashed to get inside without even waiting for Laios to answer.

"O-oh sorry, I didn't know you're talking to Fallyn."

"Ah, it's fine, I'm preparing myself to sleep anyway." said Fallyn softly.

Fallyn kiss her brother's head.

"Well brother, take your time okay."

Laios nodded to Fallyn and waved to her as she went out.

The male who smashed the door is his right hand, Kabru, he looked somehow a bit... frustrated? But, mixed with some worries. He goes inside and grabs a seat next to Laios's bed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your talk with Fallyn -it's just I think we really need to talk."

"Ah yeah, it's alright... But, what bothers you Kabru?"

Kabru was messing his hair as Laios's asked that.

"Yaad's demand about your heir... do you have any idea on facing that?"

Laios shakes his head while looking sad. Kabru realized it's hard for him as well.

"Well, Marcille said that the chance that your heir would inherit your curse might be low as well. I don't think you need to think much about that haha!"

Laios's didn't bother Kabru's statement about that. His head seems to worry over something else instead.

"I don't even think someone would love me like that you know..."

His voice sounds desperate, but Kabru can't think about anyone either, not even Chillchuck's daughters, the orcs, nor any maiden would want to be Laios's bride if they know how Laios is. He is unable to see Laios's desperation being put on his face, though.

"Laios, you're the brave King who faced the demon and bring the glory to Melini! There must be someone who would love to be your bride!"

Laios suddenly stare Kabru with his dark eyes.

"Who? Who would it be? Not even you would love me like that."

"H-huh?!" Kabru flustered hearing Laios's words.

M-me?! Does he love me this whole time?! W-wait, did he chose me because he loves me? It doesn't make sense!!! Or is it?

Kabru tried to regain himself. Laios, on the other hand, looking down to his hand in front of him. Kabru then put his hand on top of Laios's.

"Do you think I would fit to be your bride?"

Laios was struck by that question. He didn't ever think about whether it's possible or not, but if it is, Kabru is the best bride he could ever asked. Someone who has the charm and being loved by Melini, also the best person who understands him. What a big win!

"OF COURSE!!! YOU'LL BE THE BEST BRIDE I COULD EVER ASKED!!!"

Laios impulsively made such answer.

Kabru struck off. He is beyond flustered. His whole face is red, thankfully his dark skin hides it, but he couldn't even think. How come someone like Laios managed to get this side of him? But, does Laios even love him?

He is regaining himself again, clearing his throat and start to talk again.

"Uh well... well then, say... can you even think to sleep with me?"

"Sleep with you? Well, sure! You can sleep here with me." Laios patting his bed.

Laios's face is like the golden haired dog looking moron and excited in the same time. Kabru still trying to hold his flustered. He then slide beside Laios, as Laios gave him a place to fit on his bed. It was a bit awkward for them at first, but Laios seems to fit in quite well. He's still smiling like a dog, and Kabru can't help to giggle.

Kabru embrace Laios's face, making him facing his. He get closer and put his nose on Laios's. He can feels Laios's breath. Then he whisper towards him.

"Can I kiss my King then?"

Laios flustered -can't think, he nodded and letting Kabru giving him a kiss.

It was tense, a bit cold... but then it changed. Tender, soft, and a glimpse of sweetness can be tasted. He grasps for some air, and dig in for more.

Kabru didn't let go either, he is eager. He took more, not letting Laios to take a break. Changing his position -he didn't let Laios to stop kissing him. He is now sitting on Laios lap, holding his head, craving more of his lips. All he can think about is how big Laios is, and how small he is. How muscular Laios is, and how thin he is. Yet, how Laios holding his back gently, scared to hurt him while he is eating Laios alive. It was so heaty, and none of them is stopping.

The kiss took much longer than Laios expected. He had never had this kind of burning sensation before. Kabru stopped and grasped for air as Laios gasped.

Laios eyes has become that puppy eyes. Asking to be loved, and not being let go. Kabru melts into his eyes.

It's not the first time he felt this way to him. Remembering the time when they met again after Laios fought the demon. His desperation that time when he feels that he has failed. That moment his eyes asking to be loved, the same like how his eyes look right now. Kabru just can't let go.

Laios tried to talk, but his word stuck on his mouth. Kabru came in again to peck his lips. Holding his head, then putting his head to Laios's.

"Say, how does it feel?"

Laios gulped.

"Hot..."

Kabru giggles after hearing what Laios said. Didn't realize that a hard bump touches his crotch.

"O-oh..."

"A-AH!" Laios screamed.

Kabru put his on his mouth, preventing him to make further noise.

"S-ssht... it's alright, I'll take care of it."

Laios jolted as Kabru changed their position. He asked Laios to sit on his bed edge, then opened his pants, and slid off his undies. Laios's lower head sprung off, and already quite hard. Laios kept jolting, but he tried hard not to make any noise.

Kabru started to slide his hand up and down while Laios whimpered. Laios got wet easily, since his pre-cum didn't take long. He is so erected that he hardly able to hold anything much longer.

Kabru took the opportunity to suck it and make it even more drenched. Laios tried as hard as he can not to cum on Kabru's face.

"S-stop it, I need to cum."

Kabru made the last suck deeply, then stopped as Laios quickly cummed while his body squirmed. He made quite a mess on Kabru's shirt.

"A-aahhh!! I don't mean to-"

Kabru just smiled. He licked a bit of it to tease him, and then he stood up. He took the napkin on the nearest table. Swiped the liquid from himself, and clean Laios's.

Laios just stand still while still squirming. Once it's done, Kabru throws the napkin away, and he slides into Laios's side to sleep with him.

"Am I good enough to be your bride Laios?"

Laios nodded so hard.

Kabru just giggles after watching him like that. He snuck into Laios's chest, and Laios adjust his hand to cuddle him.

"I can grow my love to you into such love."

He gazed into Laios's eyes.

"The kind of love your bride would love you."

Laios's face became so red. His eyes hardly focus on Kabru's. Kabru embraced his face one more time and gave him a short sweet kiss.

Laios pushed himself to say words.

"I-I would love you... as my lover."

Kabru smiled, listening to that. He started to close his eyes. Laios joins afterward and sleeps while cuddling his beloved one.

Well, it seems that an heir would be another problem, but for now, Laios is fulfilled with the bride he gets.

#dunmeshi #labru #laios touden #kabru #laios is a moron #charming kabru #one-shots #i guess?#fanfic #dungeon meshi #kabru x laios

43 notes · View notes

demispark · 8 days

Text

Autism on Autism Violence

#dunmeshi spoilers #laios touden #shuro dungeon meshi #can we agree on that?#no ableism no racism #just two socially inept morons slugging it out in the dungeon

3 notes · View notes

thechekhov · 4 months

Text

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38

Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.

IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?

I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?

oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.

It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.

Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.

Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.

.......what's that rock about.

Oh, I see. That's convenient.

This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.

So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?

He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ

To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.

Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'

Laios is so stressed he broke character.

Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.

It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.

...hey, hold on a second.

Now hold on a minute.

Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.

But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.

And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.

Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! （︶^︶）

Thoughts:

Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"

That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.

Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.

Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.

Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.

Aww, doggo.

Last question: Where did the cat go?

Senshi: I can fix that.

Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!

Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.

F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........

My man, maybe lead with that............

I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......

"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.

p.....pubby......

As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.

The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.

On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?

......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.

Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.

Anyway. What a great manga.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi quick reacts #chekhov reads dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi liveblog #delicious in dungeon

400 notes · View notes

pingo1387 · 2 months

Text

original text/post

[ID: Two images, each made up of screenshots of both text messages and panels from Dungeon Meshi. The texts feature several typos which have been corrected here.

The first image features Laios suffering from a fever while he tries to sleep. The text next to him reads, "A hey the witch king dumb as shit oooo no man can kill me well ok that just leaves women hobbits dwarf elf ent orc goblin grond warg real big goose. Fell breast turns around he's not expecting it Whap tail whip his ass off a cliff moron ok i sleeping now." A red circle and arrow highlights the phrase "witch king" and points to an image of the lunatic magician Thistle looking angry.

The second image shows Laios again, this time awake and lucid, eating a sandwich. The text next to him reads, "Oh fuck yes garlic bread."

End ID.]

#dungeon meshi #last one for now

21 notes · View notes

candycryptids · 1 month

Text

Vierapril Day 9: Reflection/Damage

“I’m replaceable; whatever breaks, can be repaired, rebuilt. Put me in harms way first, you’re the Warrior Of Light, they need you, more than they need a glorified Mammet.”

“YOU MORON! WHO DO YOU THINK HAS TO REPLACE YOUR BROKEN PARTS? YOUR SMASHED SERVOS? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I DIDN’T PROGRAM ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOR INTO YOU!!”

[cut for ramblings 💖]

Why yes the Dungeon Meshi anime DID do permanent damage to my brain 🥰 the pose was specifically inspired by Laios ahaha.

So! A lil more context because I know he’s out in the wild of tags and people don’t know, Tuesday is a complicated Mammet built by Chuusday (Chuu) as a sort-of errand boy/housekeeper/assistant, and she sends him out into the great blue yonder to assist the Warriors Of Light in Ishgard (she is, for a number of reasons, a fugitive, and mildly reclusive besides. Authorities and Her don’t see eye to eye so she just doesn’t get in their sight. Lol.) the reason they look similar is personal vanity, she didn’t just want a Mammet that looked like a Mammet she wanted it to look ‘as life like’ as possible.

But Tuesday needs Aether, and while being mildly tethered to the crew he starts picking up abnormalities- quirks, things outside of his Generally Courteous Servitude Behavior Programming. He becomes Self-Aware. And, well. His companions are flesh and blood. If something breaks, it could cause permanent possibly fatal damage. Tuesday, on the other hand… if a servo fails, if something gets damaged, if he, shuts down. Chuusday has a backup. Sure, he might lose a few weeks, months, of memory, but it’s a small price to pay for the safety and health of his companions, right?

If you read all this I’m kissing you on the back of the hand like an Edwardian gentleman ty ty I worked very hard to make these turn out the way I envisioned and I feel like I got pretty close. Lol.

#Vierapril #ffxiv Viera #Tuesday Gears #ffxiv Tuesday #Ffxiv Chuu #ffxiv Gears Duo #Chuusday Gears #ffxiv Nidhogg #Heavensward Spoilers #bloodless dismemberment #I. don’t think this needs heavier tagging. it’s mechanical???#fantasy violence?????

12 notes · View notes

tisorridalamor · 4 days

Text

So. I reblogged a few posts on the Shuro VS Laios discourse on the side of “they both have issues they need to work through” and somehow a bunch of people who don’t follow me were seeing, liking, and reblogging those posts from me specifically (??? Why does that happen some times) and some were… adding to the discourse. One of the additions to the post I saw has been haunting me so I’m gonna make it your 🫵 problem

Basically the take was that Shuro was an idiot and if he really cared about Falin like Laios/Marcille he would have stayed with them instead of wasting time getting his retainers and not taking care of himself properly.

In my opinion it’s an extremely poor take, because Shuro weighed the odds and made an effective decision that’s only weighed down by not telling anyone his plan (though it’s possible he thought others might get in the way). Laios’s plan of hunting/foraging in the dungeon literally only works because they encounter Senshi, who Shuro never met. Without Senshi, guiding them, Laios’s monster knowledge doesn’t translate into cooking/nutrition knowledge, and they don’t get Senshi’s resources like the garden golems or his connections with the orcs. Laios and crew would not have made it back to the dragon with no money, no food, and reduced party size, and Namari and Shuro’s decision to leave the party was a completely logical one.

Instead of following Laios’s genuinely bonkers plan, Shuro got 5 strong fighters, had plenty of money to stock up on provisions, and even after taking the time to do that made it back down to where the red dragon was at almost the same time as Laios’s party that left immediately. That’s an impressive feat! I think saying that he didn’t take Falin’s death seriously is a huge disservice to his character, and the comment about him not taking care of himself is an unfair jab the poster just said cause Dungeon Meshi making a point of it several times. The man is sick with worry, cut him some slack!

Anyway, you don’t have to like Shuro but the discourse around him has been so disingenuous. Laios is smart but not a genius and he got lucky by meeting Senshi. Toshiro got a killer party together that absolutely would have been able to defeat the red dragon and for some reason people act like he’s a moron.

#dm #fun talk tag #this one is just for the mutuals and followers I’m not spreading discourse around lol

5 notes · View notes