⚙️ ~ Coronia, Temple of the Sun ~ ☀️

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As 2018 is coming to an end it’s time to reflect on this amazing year for new music and artistry. KUCI is a diverse group of DJs and we are proud to represent all genres of music. I have finally put together our Top 10 albums of 2018 along with some honorable mentions towards the end accompanied by some lovely words written by our fellow DJs. We can’t wait for what 2019 brings for us and continue tuning in on kuci.org or 88.9 FM if you’re in the Orange County area. Have a safe and happy new year!

1. Mitski - Be The Cowboy

“Mitski Miyawaki’s powerhouse voice resonates with a haunting clarity on her stunning masterpiece Be the Cowboy. She creates entire worlds and characters out of pieces of herself, from paranoid, awkward women who yearn for traditionalism and some idealist version of what life or love should be (hello “Lonesome Love”), to cowgirls who can do it all on their own. From sorrowful to triumphant, Mitski colors the spaces in between from soul-bearing ballad “Geyser” to unforgettable dancing-alone-in-your-bedroom anthem “Nobody.” (Sophie Prettyman-Beauchamp)

“This album was so personal and raw and I also liked how the songs flowed well on this album.” (Heidi Barragan)

2. The Internet - Hive Mind

“I can't talk about this album without mentioning how mad I am at myself for missing the tour. Syd, Pat, Steve, Matt, and Chris, The Internet, are prominent figures of musical evolution; this speaks volumes and not just because they got their start with Odd Future, a hub of avid freeform artists. If you’re inclined to believe what I believe, Ego Death is a heartbreak album and Hive Mind is loaded with recovery anthems and passionate songs to share with your new partner who is not a rebound. Across the timeline, the sounds change from R&B and Hip-Hop to Funk and Soul; but what captures my attention the most, from Ego Death to Hive Mind, is the way a facade is casted aside. Hive Mind is just so sincere and therefore, perfectly fitting for being a part of my top three.” (Thorson Munoz)

“[This album] is a very funky album with heavy tones of R&B. The Internet does not disappoint with their funky sounds, which can be heard on “La Di Da”. Overall the album has powerful baselines, thanks to the amazing Steve Lacy, and groovy beats backed by Syd’s smooth vocals. It is hard to listen to this album and not dance along to it.” (Melissa Palma)

3. Kali Uchis - Isolation

“Colombian singer Kali Uchis’ long-awaited debut album is a high-production value journey into her uniquely sultry, dreamy world of R&B. The songstress’s silky voice pushes boundaries of various genres, from bossa-inspired intro “Body Language” to the Amy Winehouse-esque “Killer,” each track better and more of a banger than the last. Isolation features artists like The Internet guitarist Steve Lacy, British soul success Jorja Smith, and reggaeton icon Reykon. Uchis also recruited her friends Tyler, the Creator and legendary bassist Bootsy Collins for the hit single “After the Storm,” a follow-up to her and Tyler’s song “See You Again” from his 2017 album Flower Boy (supported by a stunningly whimsical music video by director Nadia Lee Cohen). The producer credits are just as stacked, including the likes of Thundercat, BROCKHAMPTON’s Romil Hemnani, Tame Impala’s Kevin Parker, and Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn. Uchis proves herself as the new sound of pop, never veering from her originality that made her a Soundcloud sweetheart.” (Sophie Prettyman-Beauchamp)

4. Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer

“She’s such an intelligent creative weirdo and I LOVE HER. Not to mention her oozing femme POWER.” (Naseem Eskandari)

“About the moxie I mentioned earlier, this emotional rollercoaster has an abudnace of it and I cannot get enough! Cover to cover this album packs a punch, and as the visual companion--which brought me to tears--would suggest, this entire album is a celebration of deviant bodies and identities. This album contains the perfect ratio of soft and tender tracks and upbeat exciting ones so its no wonder why NPR named Dirty Computer their number one of 2018.” (Thorson Munoz)

5. Anderson .paak - Oxnard

“Sometimes artists, after huge successes, feel that they need to make music that sounds just like their previous work to gain the same traction, but really the true artists are the ones that stay honest and true to their creative ability - their sound moves through life with them.” (Naseem Eskandari)

“Anderson .Paak, to me, is responsible for every playlist I've ever built that revolves around driving in Los Angeles with the windows down, no matter the time of day. However, I don't drive a convertible, so instead I honored Venice and Malibu using my radio program, Detours. Not only am I excited to honor Oxnard as well, but Oxnard was built for driving; this is evident after listening to "Tints", the first release, and "Headlow". This album, just like Malibu, is masterful; the only difference is that Dr. Dre stepped out of the shadows and was a feature. Oxnard is beyond incredible and worthy of it's legendary features, Snoop Dog, Q-Tip, and Kadhja Bonet, to name a few. I'm really excited for what will likely be Anderson .Paak's next Grammy nomination.” (Thorson Munoz)

6. Blood Orange - Negro Swan

“AMAZING production, amazing narrative!!!!!!!” (Angel Cortez)

“Dev Hynes never fails to make master pieces of albums that narrate the experience of marginalized people in an oppressive and toxic environment. Hynes brings together artists as big as ASAP Rocky to smaller artists of equal talent such as Steve Lacey creating a beautiful medley of indie hip hop to soul and funk.  Coupled with interviews, Hynes is able to make this album a personal experience for the listener. For me it always feels as though he is singing to me personally, something that not many artists are able to do.” (Kelsey Villacorte)

7. Kevin Krauter - Toss Up

“Toss Up has to be my personal #1 favorite album of 2018 by Kevin Krauter who began making music apart from lo-fi dream pop band Hoops in 2015. Toss Up was released this past summer and was the perfect album to listen to during warm summer nights and has carried through to the end of the year as a comforting reminder of those warm times during these cold nights. It has that dreamy, nostalgic feeling, something that you would listen to as you’re reflecting on the tender moments of your life. Krauter mixes vaporwave-esque sounds with sweet ballads with no one song sounding like the other.” (Kelsey Villacorte)

8. MGMT - Little Dark Age

“MGMT's come-back album is focused, synthy, and fresh. Without abandoning the dark undertones present in their older albums, this album reflects the band's personal growth and resonates with fans, old and new. Tracks like TSLAMP and Little dark Age are some of my favorites!” (Angelica Sheen)

“MGMT has maintained their status as an alternative staple and has since transformed their sound into something more experimental since their debut album Oracular Spectacular. MGMT did not disappoint and gave us an album that went from the weird wii-fit/dystopian vibes of She Works Out To Much to 80s dance of Me and Michael to another sweet ballad titled Hand It Over which is super reminiscent of the ending/title song of their second album Congratulations. MGMT never fails to write well thought out lyrics that all almost feel like their own story. All in all, they did not disappoint and this is exactly the kind of MGMT album I was hoping for after a 5 year hiatus.” (Kelsey Villacorte)

9. Ian Sweet - Crush Crusher

“Jilian Medford refines IAN SWEET’s sound and practices self-care on sophomore album Crush Crusher, her most intimate release yet. Medford rediscovers her identity as she considers how much of herself she has forgotten while preoccupying herself with being a guardian to others (she warbles “The sun built me to shade everybody” on “Holographic Jesus”). Ever poetic while satisfyingly straightforward, she notes that “It’s been too long since I let myself cry about something that wasn’t even sad” on the pummeling single “Spit.” She coos, squeaks, and screams in perfect, dissonant harmony over her guitar’s cathartically melancholic reverb. IAN SWEET remains a perfect contradiction that only grows sweeter.” (Sophie Prettyman-Beauchamp)

10. Parquet Courts - Wide Awake!

“This band's genius shows through with every new release. Wide Awake throws all of their influences together and expels energetic funk beats with poignant, dark, and brutal lyrics that are especially political. The juxtaposition of these themes with upbeat and optimistic instrumentals speaks to their compositional talent, making it a fan favorite. AND THEY USE COWBELLS.” (Angelica Sheen)

Honorable Mentions:

Glenn Crytzer Orchestra, "Ain't it Grand?"

This album couldn't have been better aimed at me if the band had come and asked me what I wanted to hear.  A modern swing-style orchestra performing both classic tunes from the 1930s and modern pieces written in the big band style.  The ensemble playing is tight, the solos just exactly right, and the production quality a lot sharper than any of the original Duke Ellington recordings.  Top notch stuff. (Michael Payne)

The Vaccines - Combat Sports

"The Vaccines brought back the spirit and energy of their debut album but with a new twist when they released their 4th album early in 2018. Get pumped up with the "I Can't Quit" and "Nightclub" or settle down with  "Maybe (The Luck of the Draw)" or "Young American". The Vaccines perfectly embody the sound and snark of the '70s and '80s artists of which their influenced while still creating a modern feel of the 2010's. My personal favorite off the album "Out on the Street" definitely a treat live! Over all Combat Sports is an excellent album and what we needed in 2018." (Stacey Brizuela)

Cobra Man - Toxic Planet

“Los Angeles local duo Cobra Man blows it out of the water with their sophomore album that carries the heart and groove of something you'd hear out of '84. It is indeed one of the best albums of the year because it utilizes one of the most underrated instruments in the game, the saxophone.” (Spartacus Avina)

Nu Guinea "Nu Guinea"

Heaven & Earth by Kamasi Washington is an album that’s loud and bold in both sound and vocals. A lot of the album often creates an ethereal effect with the heavy instrumentals ascending into a grand peak, most notably heard on “Street Fighter Mas”. The vocals on the album accompany the instrumentals in their same form, loud and climaxing. Listening to this album is like a rollercoaster with its thrilling jazz sounds. (Melissa Palma)

Drug Church - Cheer

Mac Miller - Swimming

“The tragic beauty of this album speaks for itself. Mac was such a raw and very real individual and it reflects in his music the way that many others cannot replicate. May he rest in peace - I hope the next life will be better for him.” (Naseem Eskandari)

Thank you to all the amazing DJs who submitted their Top 10 list of 2018! I am super glad to have been part of an amazing and diverse radio station for this past year and this is only a small piece of what our DJs music tastes are like here. I hope everyone has an incredible and safe New Years Eve and a happy 2019 :)

-Kelsey Villacorte (Music Director)

E3 2018 Thoughts on Nintendo

So Nintendo over the years has learned to show only what’s coming out soon rather than bait fans with a teaser for a game that is way out in production (Looking at you Sony and Microsoft). In addition, they used their direct this year to push forward the versatility of the Switch as well as give a huge show of appreciation to the Smash Pro community that pretty much built itself from the ground up.  I will give Nintendo this much, their booth this year, while not as cool as the Mario one last year, did have a lot going on and the game lines for just Smash and Let’s go Pokemon were over 4 hours long. They had to cut them off on all three days and set up areas for people to watch others play on big screens.

Also both of their tournaments did strong numbers this year, showing that Splatoon and Smash are still hitters in the E-sports area. Though now I hope Arms gets in there because that game is fun.

Dameon X Machenia reminded me a hell of a lot of the Super robot Wars games that come out for Gundam and other series. Yet this was very different. Flying robots to fight what looks like monsters/mecha seems like a fun way to pass the time. Also, based on the Tree house showing, there’s a customization element going on not just with the avatar (which you can chose your gender) but also the robot itself and it’s weapons. There’s also an area that looks to allow online play along with a single player campaign. Again, mixed feelings, unless you can invite people into the server that you want playing with you so that you know no jerks will just jump in and ruin the game. Over all I like what I see, but it’s a ways out. Nice of them to start with something exciting.

Super Mario Party looks amazing. So apparently we can have four players to one switch via the tv set up, but also two switches can be made to change up the board, which brings up the question, can you have more than four players playing if you have three or more switches? It’s Mario Party so most people know the drill for this one. I do like that they kept in a lot of things from the older titles and apparently we’re going to have Bowser as an option to play. This should be interesting to see, and probably will be a buy for me once I’m done with my back log of games.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Torna the Golden DLC. This could practically be a game in and of itself given the way that the story is taking shape here. It looks really interesting and is certainly filling in gaps in the story that we had from XC2. What I’m wondering is if Xeno will rival FF, Tales and DQ in the future with the story telling and now the world building. I should note too that the Challenge mode brought back in Shulk and Fiora from the first Xenoblade Chronicles story. Visually the game looks amazing and really got me excited to buy the DLC, and, apparently there is a second edition that let’s you get both the DLC and the original game. Similar to the FF XV Royal edition.

This one is the one that I’ve personally been waiting for. As a Fire Emblem Fan since way back from the Game Boy Advanced Version, it’s exciting to see an new FE show up on the Switch. Fire Emblem Three Houses showed up and wow. Since this is clearly an incomplete game there’s things that need to be worked on, but from what we saw I would say it’s really visually amazing. Reportedly the artist that did the art for the Uta wa no Prince Sama series is providing the art here. Though I don’t know because others are saying it reminds them of the artist from the Persona Series. I will say though that the character’s look amazing, and the fact that it’s not an Avatar in this game means that a lot of the story and depth of the story will rely on the characters interacting with one another. Another cool thing was the system where you can train the characters in different triangle weapons, which can become useful. From what we’ve seen there appears to be an open world aspect of this, and you can run around. Also units now have warriors with them and can create formations based on what you need. Over all this looks fun and the animation for the cut scenes are top notch. I won’t lie I’m a bit biased on this one.

Fortnite was a good move on the switch’s part, and the fact that they showed it in a way that is different than how Sony, Microsoft, or PC shows the game means that they can pull in players that normally may not want to play this. The vibrant color had me going “Wait…is that Fortnite? What the hell? Is it really that goofy?” as most version I’ve seen have had people wearing serious clothing rather than the goofy stuff that you can get. Honestly, if I was good at shooters and liked them, this trailer would have made me pick it up. I hope that people playing on PC and Xbox are having fun with Nintendo players…Sony, I know you were burned in the past by Nintendo, and have issues with Microsoft and for some odd reason hate PCs, but come on…stop locking people out of playing with others. Sheesh!

Hollow Knight, another interesting showing here. Hollow Knight I heard was a good get for the switch, given that it’s a fan favorite. Mix of platforming and fighting will work well on the switch. To be honest while it’s cute and all I’ll have to see if I want to get it.

Killer Queen Black is a surprise for some people, as it was a small arcade game that had a loyal following but was believed to not be able to be put on a console system. Apparently they did it. It seems to be a timed exclusive so it may not stay just on the Switch. Looks like fun, but I’m not a bee fan honestly. But it looks nice and I’m sure that other people will love to play it.

Overcooked 2, I can’t wait to get. It seems like an awesome game and one that I will be playing a lot with friends. Reminds me a bit of dinner dash but with puzzle elements and strategy. Should be a good buy for people that want to have something a bit more relaxing to play in it’s own way.

Octopath Traveler showed up again, and mentioned a new Demo. Square later went on at E3 to say that they’re going to make a division for the Switch so that’s a promising thing. The game’s demonstration at the tree house has made this a day one for me, which is rare outside of again, Fire Emblem. So this has me very excited and I hope to see more games like this and others from Square Enix on the Switch.

Let’s Go Pokemon: Pikachu/Evee. Pretty much seemed like Pokemon Yellow. I mean, you play with Pikachu following you around rather than in the ball, and it combines elements of pokemon go. On top of that you can transfer pokemon from go to the game, and you get a mew in the new pokeball add on...although I wish the price was a bit lower for that pokeball. Sheesh! 

They had a quick run down of games coming out including: Octo Expansion, SNK Heroines Tag Team Frenzy, Dragon Ball Fighter Z, Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate, Ninjala, Paladins: Realm Royale, Roller Coaster Tycoon Switch, Starlink: Battle for Atlas, Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition (may have shown this it went fast), sushi Striker. 

Smash Brothers Ultimate, I know some were disappointed that this took up so much time, but there’s something that has to be said. This is really, outside of maybe the bigger tournaments, that Nintendo has shown that they have been paying attention to the pro scene for their fighting game. With all the tweeks that they did to this game, and allowing the characters in there the way that they did, they’re going to be a contender at larger game tournaments like Evo and the like. Back when the switch was first show in 2017 there was the whole E-sports section, and I think that Nintendo is actually looking into that with some of it’s games. The various things, like the one on one fighting being made to be more devastating when you have solo fights means that, for pros, the game will move faster. Having the different stage styles also means it’s better for the competition scene so that the game can be played there.

I’m glad to see Ice Climbers back, all my Fire Emblem characters are still there, Wii Fit is back, the amazing Pit is there still, I love that we now have Daisy –my girl –as a character to play as, and we finally got Ridley –after all this time… Now Sakurai, please put in Takamaru from the Mystery of Muramasa castle as not an assist and I will praise you to the high heavens. Oh yeah and Proto and Base (Bass?) are in Megaman’s smash now. (Proto as an echo fighter please? Or Zero?)

As for the other games that are coming out to Switch, while they didn’t show them all…here’s the list from E3 2018 of the games that are coming:

Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion

Bomber Crew

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy –Rumors are going around that Spyro may also be coming too

Dead Cells

Defender's Quest: Valley of the Forgotten DX

Dragon Quest XI –apparently yes it is coming for the switch.

The Elder Scrolls: Legends –tired of this being on your phone…use it on the Switch on the go.

Fallout Shelter

Fate Extella Link –Hey what do you know…the Fate series is now on the Switch

FIFA 19

Freedom Planet

Gal Metal –music game that has an interesting story

Galak-Z: Variant S –You like Gundam? You like arcade games? Well this is right up your alley

Harold Halibut

Just Dance 2019

Kingdom: Two Crowns

LEGO DC Supervillains

Little Dragons Café –What if you could raise dragons in the world of Harvest Moon, same creators

Mario + Rabbids DLC

Mario Tennis Aces –This was kind of interesting to see in the Tree house, making me consider getting it.

Mega Man 11

My Friend Pedro –Yeah the gag game that is coming to PC from Digital Revolver, it’s on the Switch.

My Hero Ones Justice –For those of us who want to smash things with Lord Murder Explosion (Bakugo)

NBA Live 19

Planet Alpha

Raji: An Ancient Epic

Shining Resonance Refrain –Kind of wish this one was shown, but Sega does what Sega does…

Spintires: MudRunner –basically you want to play with all terrain vehicles…then here you go.

State of Mind

Super Meat Boy Forever

Team Sonic Racing

Trials Rising –wish they would have shown some of this

Valkyria Chronicles 4 –Sega….you should have had your own direct…seriously

'V-Rally 4

Wargroove

Arcade Donkey Kong

That’s a lot of games coming out for the Switch…most of these would be fun to play…and that’s not even listing the ones that were already out prior to E3.

Over all, for presentation regarding the use of the Direct, I’d say A- to a B mostly because of the variety. Though I do think that they could have elongated their direct to give more showings of the games that weren’t Smash that were coming to the Switch. 

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Nintendon't Give a Fuck

So, March 3rd then. If you’ve pre-ordered you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. This is of course the date Nintendo’s new home/handheld combo console is unleashed worldwide onto the gaming public, and, for nearly all of those gamers who’ve pre-ordered, this is when the real excitement builds. Even those who aren’t at all interested can at least accept that they know the feeling well; the anticipation on the way to the store, finally getting your hands on your new beautiful box of gaming, hurrying home, the unboxing - oh the unbridled joy of the unboxing - and then the hookup, the final power button on, then at last! Wait what the shit are these fucking updates? Fuck you! How long to completion? Fine, I’ll go make a sandwich….. Then at last! You come face to face with the home screen and the real fun can begin. As a long time gamer who’s gone through this with the master system, an Amiga 500, an n64, a dreamcast, a ps2, 3 and 4, all the Xboxes, a Gamecube and both Wii’s, not to mention countless handhelds, the above process is something I’ve experienced and very much enjoyed quite a lot, and the reason I watched the Nintendo switch event with baited breath. I was already sold. Then it all came crashing down. Nintendo seemed intent on nuking all the goodwill and excitement they’d accumulated in the preceding weeks and months; unchecking all the boxes they’d previously ticked. I should probably reiterate at this point that I’m getting on a bit and use gaming as a form of relaxation. A lot of my friends have had kids, prioritised other things over gaming and nearly all live in a different time zone (I moved to Canada 4 years back). I have a wonderful partner who encourages my gaming hobby, yet doesn’t venture much beyond the free games she can get on her iPhone. Armed with this information, my opinion on what we’ve seen on the Nintendo Switch should make a little more sense. I don’t think I’m alone either, based on the reaction elsewhere. We’re people who’ve grown up with Nintendo and enjoy gaming as Nintendo originally provided it. And it appears they’re throwing us aside (once again), kicking us when we’re down and then spitting in our faces while they take a big steamy dump on our chests. While there are people into Nintendo defacating all over them, that's just not for me. Do you like Nintendo exclusive games? Of course you do! Well how about a game that you really want and can buy on our previous console (which we prematurely killed off because we fucked quite a lot up with it)? We’ve got you covered! Want to see what our console is really about and experience all the new tech Nintendo incorporated? Pick up 1-2 Switch! It’s a full price mini game compilation that they should definitely have packed in. You’ll likely play for a few days before casting it aside as it offers no replay value! It also makes you look like a tit and can simulate masturbation! If you look like a tit and there’s no one else around to see you, are you still a tit? Most definitely. Hey older gamer! You remember how much fun Bomberman was right? Well we’ve got a new one! The single player is still bunk but the multiplayer is still super fun, super simple and that’s right, definitely worth full price! So what if it has been surpassed in terms of depth by flash and mobile games on the last decade? How about some retro and indie games that, given you’re an avid gamer, you’ve already bought and played at least once on different consoles?! Why not rebuy them and play them on our new console while we get our shit together! I mean come on, there's no way to transfer that world of goo purchase from the Wii, so why not give Nintendo your money again? And that, along with a dancing party game and a plastic toy collect-a-thon, is the launch lineup. Done. Nothing else. Before you say it, I know consoles don’t traditionally have massively strong catalogues of games on day 1. I didn’t expect the switch too either. I did however want to see a couple - just two would’ve been enough - worthwhile unique experiences that I could sit down and enjoy. That alone would justify a console purchase for a grumpy twat like me. ‘80 plus games this year!’ I hear you cry. Ok but how many of those are games that I’ve already bought and enjoyed though? And how many are likely to perform better on those other consoles? If I want to play Skyrim, world of goo and the host of other older games that make up a significant portion of that 80, I just need to fire up my older consoles and save myself having to rebuy them. Even the upcoming Nintendo exclusives have managed to irk me (Mario admittedly does looks great though). I loved Splatoon, absolutely adored it. So much so that I played it to death less than two years ago. Two years I might add, is a very short time in Nintendo sequel terms, with good reason. Nintendo likes to give themselves more time than most to perfect their games, nurturing the things that work and tweaking until they’re just right. Releasing Splatoon 2 so soon smacks of desperation to have enough content on a new system, and leads me to believe it’ll likely be closer to an upgrade than a true sequel. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe asks those who’ve likely already bought the original to re-up, in order to play on their shiny new console. One of the main selling features being an upgrade to my former favourite game mode, battle, which Nintendo completely ballsed up for this iteration on Wii U. They’d previously refused to acknowledge they’d made an error with the originals battle mode, yet here they are trying to sell you the same game, on a new console, based on the fact that they’ve fixed the chuffing thing we complained about three years ago! To date Nintendo haven’t announced this as DLC for the Wii U version, which I’d totally buy, or any kind of upgrade program. I don’t expect either to materialise, which is a huge shame (for me). Let’s get this straight; most of the switch early adopters likely own a Wii U. Nintendo aren’t re-releasing games out of the goodness of their hearts. This is an easy way to flesh out the line up and make more money. Nintendo, like 99.9 percent of businesses, exist to make money, and given the state of the launch lineup and incoming game, it’s been suggested that this has been rushed out to hit the end of the financial year. It's a hard point to argue with, especially given the lack of online details. Nintendo are finally moving with the times in charging for online – a move that I don’t actually mind despite the ridiculous rent-a-rom-a-month system – you’d think, however, that they would probably catch up with the competitors in other areas, such as linked accounts and transferring purchases right? Wrong. Nintendo have a penchant for getting avid fans to rebuy games over and over but in today’s market, that just doesn’t fly. When your main competitors have systems in place to allow their customers to retain purchases and to transfer games from old systems to new, you really have no excuse. Nintendo’s silence on the virtual console element of Switch doesn’t bode well either, so expect to rebuy all those same virtual console games for the convenience of having them all in one place. I’d love to be proved wrong on this, I really would. Given Nintendo’s history in successfully fleecing gamers repeatedly in this regard, I wouldn’t hold my breath. Now I know this is all very negative, but I’m not making this shit up and I genuinely wish things were different. The consoles price, while a little higher than I’d have liked especially given that there’s no pack in, is in line with launch prices for competitor’s consoles, if not with the GameCube or the Wii. Hands-on reports have it that the console itself feels wonderful, like a sexy new piece of tech. Once you get it in your hands you apparently can appreciate why it costs what it does. Brilliant. This is something we all wished we had for the Wii U and I’m genuinely pleased to not have plasticky feeling components or compromised touchscreen tech. However, I do feel that there are other tech elements that they’ve put into the joycons which shunt need to be there and are responsible for accessories being priced extremely high as well. Nintendo truly appear to have taken a break from shitting on customers, so they can throw as much against the wall in the hope that some will stick. Getting a new set of joycons will set you back a chunk more than a dual shock 4 or new Xbox one controller, so if you want to play Arms, which looks like a wonderfully Splatoonish treatment of punch out, you’re talking $500 Canadian plus $80 for the game, which is a huge outlay, given the innards of the console itself. Additionally, if you’re like me and want to play games in the classic manner (on your arse in a comfortable chair) and don’t intend on using the portability features too much, you’d likely want a pro controller (the Wii U one won’t cut it from what I’ve heard); that’ll be another $90 please, which dwarfs the sweet spot cost of controllers that we’ve become accustomed to. HD rumble sounds intriguing and I hope we get to see enough innovative uses of the technology to justify its inclusion. Realistic wanking mini games won't cut it and if this tech doesn't end up changing traditional games much beyond what we currently have, the gamble of having it included everywhere wouldn’t have paid off. The less said about the ‘gesture sensor’ the better; I have an unkind hand gesture ready to be read. Again, the tone of this opinion piece is so negative, in part I think that’s down to my anger at how Nintendo shattered my expectations. If you pick one up at launch you’ll likely have loads of fun with it but I’m just so disappointed. Given what Nintendo showed us last year, it would’ve been so easy to get right. Having all of Nintendo’s internal developers beavering away on one machine, sharing knowledge is a fantastic idea. A portable console with a boost to specs and performance when docked would’ve been wonderful! Instead I’ve read that performance actually suffers when docked. W. T. F. I would’ve been perfectly ok with the additional console cost associated with the joycons. The ethos behind them is sound. If they were just well made, detachable controllers that enabled multiplayer on the go, that would be fine and justifiable. But no, Nintendo have to throwback to the Wii’s success again (seriously just let it fucking go) and make them arm waggling enablers with potentially unnecessary tech included. The worst thing potentially about the new technology I might add, is that Nintendo will feel they need to include it in games, whether it adds anything or not, in order to justify its inclusion in the console. Sigh. Just let the devs make great games! I don’t need to give the game a thumbs up or tap a plastic model to it to get maximum enjoyment, or to get content that should be in the game in the first place. If anything, that shit reduces my enjoyment and amplifies my inner grumpy gamer. Given all this it should be pretty clear that, despite still feeling that new console pull, I won’t be grabbing a Switch at launch. Every time I get the urge and think ‘well maybe it’ll be worth it’, I just remind myself of what my minimum expectations are for a new console, and the urge passes. I will still inevitably pick one up, either at the first price drop, or when the there’s a few more must have (true) exclusives, but I can’t help but feel like this is a huge missed opportunity for Nintendo. We were there for the taking but they had to go and Nintendo the fucking thing. Oh, the neon red and blue looks fucking ridiculous too...