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keotastic · 7 years

Text

sunday morning

hyuken // 5764w

But that night, as Sanghyuk tossed and turned in his bed, heart racing weirdly -- it wasn’t how well Jaehwan had sung his song request that Sanghyuk was thinking about -- it was the continuous echoing of the same three words in his mind.

‘Han Sanghyuk’, in crappy, crackly sound quality; in Jaehwan’s sweet, pretty voice.

INSTAGRAM

[hsh0705]: keken_0406 just started a live video. Watch it before it ends!

He’d been waiting for this. Sanghyuk lights up, agile fingers quick to respond as he taps on the notification, immediately directing him to user keken_0406’s livestream. First viewer, as usual. Yes. Sanghyuk smiles as he’s greeted with this familiar screen -- a small room with a dim yellow lighting, a filled bookshelf behind fitting for a cosy backdrop; and in a chair sits the boy named Jaehwan, or so his Instagram biography claims. Sanghyuk thinks it’s such a pretty name. There’s that ever-bright smile on Jaehwan’ face, and a simple guitar slung over his shoulder.

‘Hello!’ Jaehwan starts, eyes curving into little pretty crescents, as a few more viewers slowly stream in. Sanghyuk types out a short ‘hi!’ in the comments, and after some thought, adds a ‘first again!’.

‘Hi,’ Jaehwan chuckles -- it must’ve been his reaction to Sanghyuk’s comment -- the sound of it so pretty, Sanghyuk almost melts in his own chair.

‘Tonight we have… woah! Eighteen viewers!’ Jaehwan exclaims, a genuine, excited lift to his voice. Sanghyuk breaks into a wide smile behind his phone screen.

‘An improvement of three from the last stream, not bad! Hello, fans! And welcome to my very own KeNight!’ Jaehwan waves happily, excitedly, before finally placing pretty fingers over familiar chords, soft strumming noises filling the small room. The sound quality through the livestream isn’t that good, slightly choppy, due to lack of better recording devices, but it’s good. It’s all good.

‘For our new viewers here, I hold my own livestreams biweekly, on every Saturday and Sunday night! Here I’ll just be singing for you guys, either my own favourite songs or your song requests!’ Jaehwan smiles brightly, and Sanghyuk finds himself doing the same.

‘Now let’s have some song requests in, shall we?’

♪ ♫ ♬

[hsh0705]: maroon 5’s sunday morning please?

Sanghyuk’s still clearly remembers his very first attempt at this -- sending in a song request. Despite there being only about ten viewers at that time, his comment had been, sadly, quickly bumped up by a few others. Dejection grew in Sanghyuk’s chest as he watched Jaehwan squint slightly at the screen, reading through the few comments.

‘Ah. This song, one of my favourites!’

Sanghyuk sighed. It surely wasn’t his request, the other commenters were really quick to add their own ones.

‘I think I saw someone comment ‘Sunday morning’ just now, right?’

Oh. Sanghyuk’s heart had skipped a beat, clammy fingers reaching out to quickly type in a response.

[hsh0705]: it was me!

‘Oh? I’ve never seen this username before! Is this your first time streaming?’ A soft smile played on Jaehwan’s full, pretty lips as he started strumming, the tune familiar -- opening chords to ‘Sunday morning’.

[hsh0705]: yeah! just discovered your account a few days ago

Sanghyuk typed, stomach feeling a little fluttery. He thought it was crazy, how Jaehwan knew his viewers and followers so well.

Jaehwan simply smiled, and continued strumming lightly. ‘Nice! Before I begin, may I know your name?’

Sanghyuk had been caught by surprise, not knowing if Jaehwan was being serious, if this was a regular thing in his livestreams, heart racing and thoughts fuzzy. It was his first time streaming after all. The sudden amount of recognition from someone he admired so much, was a little overwhelming.

‘In case you didn’t know,’ Jaehwan kindly explained, as if he’d read Sanghyuk’s mind. ‘Since I only have a few viewers on here I thought it’d be nice to address you guys by your names! Makes things a little more personal and comfortable doesn’t it? But of course it’s okay if you do not wish to--‘

[hsh0705]: han sanghyuk :)

‘Okay,’ Jaehwan giggled softly, probably at how quick Sanghyuk was to give his name.

‘Now, I shall begin. This is dedicated to Han Sanghyuk’

Jaehwan sung and played perfectly.

‘Han Sanghyuk’, in crappy, crackly sound quality; in Jaehwan’s sweet, pretty voice.

♪ ♫ ♬

‘Oh?’ Sanghyuk scrolls back up to that one post which caught his attention. It’s a post by Jaehwan, a picture of what seems to be a chocolate-flavoured drink, placed on a small rounded table -- captioned with a short “iced mocha at my favourite place!”.

Anyone who’s visited that café will immediately recognise that unique, highly aesthetic packaging -- and realisation quickly dawns on Sanghyuk that it is in fact, that little indie café right opposite his dormitory. He’s visited that place maybe once or twice, that’s about it. Sanghyuk isn’t that much of a café-person. But the sudden thought of a shared experience, connection, with Jaehwan, spreads a wave of tingly sensations all over Sanghyuk’s skin.

He clicks on Jaehwan’s username. Jaehwan’s got about twenty more followers now, since a month ago when Sanghyuk had first visited his profile, fell in love, and followed immediately. His biography still reads the same thing: Lee Jaehwan. Jyani. Self-taught guitarist. Self-acclaimed singer. A smile tugs at the corners of Sanghyuk’s lips, before his thumb slips and accidentally taps on the dropdown settings menu for Jaehwan’s profile and--

Sanghyuk stills as his gaze falls on the option, ‘Send a message’ -- it’d never occurred to him that direct messages were always open, free to use. Sanghyuk’s heart thuds in his chest as he taps on the option, directing him to an empty chatroom for the both of them.

Would it be weird to do so, since they are, after all, mere strangers? It’s okay, Jaehwan isn’t obliged to reply anyways, Sanghyuk reasons out -- if Jaehwan didn’t respond, no big deal, Sanghyuk would be perfectly cool with it. And if he did respond, if he actually did -- Sanghyuk bites his lip, not wanting to keep his hopes up too high. Anyway, after all, it is better to have tried and failed, than never to have tried at all, right?

Sanghyuk types out a short “hi!”

His finger hovers over the send button, and Sanghyuk clenches his eyes tightly shut as he finally presses send, before quickly exiting the chat and placing his phone face down on his lap. That was wild, Sanghyuk exhales. The screen of his phone burns hot against his thigh. God, how stupid, stupid stupid, Sanghyuk thinks. It isn’t even like he’s texting a crush, or anything of that sort, why’s he acting all--

His thoughts are smoothly interrupted by his phone, vibrating and sounding shortly with a notification. Sanghyuk nearly jumps out of his seat -- it’s a wonder he’d managed to save his flying phone, clammy fingers, sweaty palms and all. Sanghyuk swallows nervously, and cracks an eye open to look at his notifications.

INSTAGRAM

[hsh0705]: keken_0406: hey!

[hsh0705]: keken_0406: you’re sanghyuk, right? han sanghyuk, if my memory hasn’t failed me?

Oh God. Sanghyuk rubs his eyes a little, before opening them again, almost comically wide. This is not a drill. Sanghyuk lets out an excited little cry, and quickly taps on the notification, entering once again into their chat.

[hsh0705]:

yeah! nailed it!

it’s seriously amazing how you even remember such little details…

[keken_0406]:

nah, it’s easy since i have few listeners, you know?

kinda sad, but it’s also really nice because i can get closer to my followers :)

[hsh0705]:

exactly!!

and don’t worry, with your amazing talent i’m sure you’ll grow bigger in no time ^^

[keken_0406]:

aww, thank you!

Sanghyuk releases the deep breath he’d been holding this entire time, unknowingly. The fact that this conversation is even happening, doesn’t even feel real. Sanghyuk pinches his arm once again just to confirm, and -- yes. This is real life.

[hsh0705]:

it’s really hard to put into words how thankful i am to have discovered your account…

but like, i really really like you?

as in i really admire you!

in case you might’ve gotten the wrong idea.. oops

but i mean i always listen to your singing videos and they make me really happy! and i listen to your streams at night while doing schoolwork and i must say your voice really motivates me to press on! i’m not sure how, but.. yeah :)

Stupid, stupid, Sanghyuk swears under his breath. Jaehwan must be pretty freaked out right now. Darn it.

[keken_0406]:

oh?

wahh i don’t even know how to respond to this i’m so so flattered!

;;;;;

i started out here to bless others with my voice, and to know it actually is happening is so heartwarming

you have no idea how much this means to me! you’re probably the first listener so far that’s sent me such nice messages ;;

Sanghyuk reads all of this with his bottom lip worried between his teeth, he can feel his cheeks growing hotter with each sentence, chest swelling with indescribable joy.

[keken_0406]:

thank you very very much

sanghyuk

[hsh0705]:

don’t have to thank me, i’m just stating facts ahh

knowing you’re happy makes me happy too ;;

Wait, that sounded a little weird. Sanghyuk feels the deep flush spreading down to his neck, and he recalls what led him to clicking on Jaehwan’s account again. Thank goodness, something to change the topic.

[hsh0705]:

oh right before i forget!!

[keken_0406]:

hm?

[hsh0705]:

the picture you just posted… your favourite place.. i know that café!

by any chance, do you live around in this neighbourhood too?

[keken_0406]:

oh you recognised it? nice! do you like that place too?

and yes, i live just around there!

[hsh0705]:

ehh, sorry i’m not that big of a fan of cafés, i only know that place because i study in the nearby university! our dormitories are just right opposite

woahh i can’t believe you live so close by, we live in a small world indeed!

[keken_0406]:

holy shit i graduated from there last year… glad i’m out of it

that’s cool! first year, second year?

[hsh0705]:

first!

[keken_0406]:

wait… isn’t this your exam period then?

[hsh0705]:

…yeah, actually

[keken_0406]:

hey! then you better stop chatting now! go study and get those stellar grades!

my aim is to better others’ lives, not hinder or be a distraction :’)

Distraction. Jaehwan could not have used a better word.

[hsh0705]:

you sound exactly like my mom, lol

yes i’ll get off instagram soon but just before i go!

[keken_0406]:

yes dear?

[hsh0705]:

i’m just curious, have you any plans to hold some sort of mini fanmeet or anything else along those lines?

[keken_0406]:

oh?

i’ve never actually thought of that…

but that’s an interesting idea, i’ll definitely consider!

♪ ♫ ♬

A few hell weeks later and those darned exams are finally over. Thank goodness.

But Sanghyuk’s not checked Instagram in a long time. Jaehwan couldn’t have announced a fanmeet right after their chat and was already done with it, could he? Shit, he hadn’t considered that. Sanghyuk hastily re-installs the app that he’d deleted right before the exams (to clear all distractions, specifically Jaehwan), and the first thing he does is to search up Jaehwan’s profile, breath held.

Sanghyuk’s heart races as he looks through the posts that he’d missed -- it’s mainly singing videos, as usual; and the most recent post, a day ago -- it’s a picture in that same café, a selfie this time, captioned with:

“Announcement! After some consideration, I’ve decided to hold a mini fanmeet! Nothing official, just maybe a chat at this cosy café, and maybe I’ll be singing a few songs for you at the open park nearby! So this Saturday, if you’re free, do make your way here and I’ll be waiting at 2pm! Details on the address is down below ^^ Excited~~”

Sanghyuk double checks the time of post, and -- yes. It was posted a day ago. That means Saturday will be in… three days. Holy shit. There’s bright smile on Sanghyuk’s face as he opens up their chat.

[hsh0705]:

hey i’m back from exams :D

and i came back to news of your fanmeet ahh i’m so excited!!

[keken_0406]:

the idea was all thanks to you :))

and yes i’m excited too!

glad you’re back, how were your exams?

[hsh0705]:

they went okay, i guess

had to delete instagram for a bit because otherwise i’d be way too distracted lol

[keken_0406]:

distractions, do you mean me? ;)

[hsh0705]:

yeah.

Jaehwan probably thinks Sanghyuk’s just playing along with him, right? After some thought, Sanghyuk sighs and types in a few more words.

[hsh0705]:

just kidding, haha

Not really.

[keken_0406]:

ahh, and that also explains why i didn’t see my usual ‘first viewer’ in the last few streams

[hsh0705]:

holy shit

i mean, woah

you didn’t forget about me

[keken_0406]:

you thought i would’ve forgotten about you??

you’re so cute

of course i won’t

[hsh0705]:

that’s a relief ^^

i was scared because i thought i would be too late

as in, that your fanmeet would’ve already been over by the time i got back on ;;

thank goodness you just announced it

[keken_0406]:

ah yes

i took into account that you were having exams too, sanghyuk

that’s why i pushed the date a few weeks back

‘I love you so much,’ Sanghyuk types out in what Jaehwan probably will perceive as a playful tone -- but fully meaning it. Taking in a deep breath, Sanghyuk pauses, finger hovering over the backspace button, before deleting the sentence in a flurry.

[hsh0705]:

what can i say

you’re an angel

[keken_0406]:

0:)

see you in three days, then?

[hsh0705]:

yeah!

Sanghyuk spends the rest of the night in bed, re-reading their conversation over and over, a dreamy smile fixed on his face. He’s on a slippery slope down, from here.

♪ ♫ ♬

Sanghyuk blinks sleepily, having just woken up -- and immediately (clumsily) reaches out for his phone, switching it on. It’s already eleven a.m, goodness, it’s been a while since he’d slept in so late -- Sanghyuk should’ve probably gone to bed earlier instead of staying up feeling all jittery for The Day. Smiling, Sanghyuk opens up Instagram -- the first post on his feed is from Jaehwan, a mirror selfie. He’s wearing a baby pink-coloured oversized shirt, with a little red heart towards the left of his chest, tucked into a pair of tight-fitting black jeans. Really cute.

“A few hours more to our mini fanmeet~ >

Great. Gathering up all of the newfound energy he’d just gotten from Jaehwan’s update, Sanghyuk leaps out of bed -- haphazardly arranging the sheets before heading to the bathroom to wash up.

Now, the toughest part. Sanghyuk throws open the doors of his closet, in an almost majestic way, as if that’s going to change anything -- only to be greeted with a poor and almost pathetic variety of clothing choices. Sanghyuk sighs, it isn’t something unexpected. Never cared much about outfits or his appearance at all.

Not today, though.

After a good fifteen minutes of contemplation (the longest time Sanghyuk’s ever spent in front of his closet -- most of the time he just grabs the first thing his fingers meet and that’s that), Sanghyuk ends up with a plain button-up white top, with a pair of black pants similar to Jaehwan’s. Sighing, Sanghyuk grabs the pot of hair gel on his table, before positioning himself before the full-length wall mirror (rarely used). Cautiously, Sanghyuk dips the tips of his fingers into the barely-used gel and scoops some out, then carefully runs them through his hair, slicks his fringe up so as to look that much more presentable.

Done. Not bad at all. Now, just for some minor touch-ups -- Sanghyuk unbuttons the top button of his dress shirt, pauses, decides that two would look better, then unbuttons the second one as well. The look is finally completed when Sanghyuk rolls his sleeves up slightly, forearms exposed.

‘Looking good,’ Sanghyuk breathes as he examines his reflection -- his heart pounds loudly in his chest. He thinks to Jaehwan, and all he manages is a weak smile.

♪ ♫ ♬

When Sanghyuk steps into the café, it definitely doesn’t look like how Sanghyuk pictured it out to be -- instead of it bustling with customers, there’s only a minimal scattering of people around the shop. Sanghyuk quickly looks at his phone to check the time again -- nope, didn’t miss the timing. Slightly bewildered, Sanghyuk briefly glances over the customers in the café at the moment -- and there, Sanghyuk finally sees someone sporting a similar outfit to what Jaehwan had posted earlier, at the corner of the café, a guitar bag beside him and all. It must be Jaehwan -- Sanghyuk bites his lip and brushes his sweaty palms against his pants before taking slow, nervous steps towards the table.

‘J-Jaehwan?’

Sanghyuk had imagined their first encounter to be slightly cooler. Definitely not starting off with a damn stutter.

The boy turns around, their gazes meeting and -- it is Jaehwan, and God, he is so pretty. Looking a lot better than how those low-quality pictures make him out to be. Sanghyuk stuns for a while, lost somewhere in those large, shiny orbs and the gorgeous long line of his nose, those full lips that look pinker and smoother in person and his soft looking cheeks that Sanghyuk so badly wants to pinch. He doesn’t realise that Jaehwan’s stood up, large eyes now in the shape of pretty crescents, hand extended.

‘Yes, hello! And who might you--‘

‘Sanghyuk! First viewer,’ Sanghyuk laughs weakly, and makes sure to wipe his palms off again before shyly accepting the handshake. Jaehwan’s hand is soft and small, just like himself.

‘Ah, you’re Sanghyuk!’ Jaehwan smiles so wide, voice lifted and he sounds genuinely excited. ‘You’re a first year student? No way! You’re so tall,’ Jaehwan says, a little too animatedly. Adorable. ‘And you look, woah.’ Jaehwan slowly scans Sanghyuk up and down, and Sanghyuk could just as well melt into the ground, now, his cheeks most probably a flaming red. ‘Very mature,’ Jaehwan concludes, smiling. ‘In a good way, of course.’

‘Ahh, thank you! You look really good too,’ Sanghyuk says, voice coming out a little higher than usual. Jaehwan’s shy smile and the faint rosy blush on his cheeks at the compliment are too much for Sanghyuk, who takes his eyes off Jaehwan’s pretty face to look at his hair instead.

‘Also, your pictures are deceptive, you’re a lot shorter than what I imagined you to be,’ Sanghyuk jokes, and the shy smile is off Jaehwan’s face, now a playful pout playing on his lips instead. Much better.

‘Hey,’ Jaehwan lightly punches at a grinning Sanghyuk’s shoulder, and the fact that he’s standing a few inches shorter than Sanghyuk makes the situation seem even more amusing. Very threatening. Sanghyuk chuckles, and Jaehwan stands up straight, pushing his shoulders out and his chest forward. The crown of his head is still visible to Sanghyuk, the action doing barely anything to boost Jaehwan’s height.

‘You’re just… you’re just too tall, okay. I’m tall! I’m tall, but.. you’re taller.’ Jaehwan giggles and sits back down. ‘You remind me of a big bear.’

‘Bear?’ Sanghyuk sits down in an empty seat opposite Jaehwan, smiling. ‘Interesting, no one’s told me that before.’

‘That’s strange, the resemblance is like, a hundred percent.’

‘Yeah? Sure, if you say so…’ Sanghyuk meets Jaehwan’s soft gaze again, and it awakens the tiny butterflies in his tummy once again. Time to change the topic. ‘Have you been waiting a long time?’

‘About thirty minutes before you came,’ Jaehwan grins. ‘You really live up to your ‘first’ title, Sanghyuk. First viewer, now firstcomer again.’

‘I like you that much,’ Sanghyuk says, serious -- it’s at this that he notices Jaehwan has got really cute, pointed ears, because they perk up just the slightest bit at that comment. Gosh. ‘Basically I’m your biggest, loyal-est fan!’ Sanghyuk adds in, and smiles weakly. Jaehwan laughs at this, the sound soft and breathy and all Sanghyuk’s ever wanted to hear.

‘Wow. What did I ever do to deserve such an amazing fan like you, Sanghyuk,’ Jaehwan grins, and playfully reaches forward to ruffle a currently schoolboy-flushed and absolutely bewildered Sanghyuk’s hair.

‘Anyway, I’m not sure if we’re expecting any more fans to come,’ Jaehwan pauses, and Sanghyuk catches the way Jaehwan’s soft mouth twists sadly, for just split second -- Sanghyuk so badly wants to kiss that disappointment away -- and then a smile is back on Jaehwan’s face. ‘I probably didn’t take into account that this place may be out of the way for some of my other listeners, huh?’

Jaehwan looks down, casts his hurt gaze onto his half consumed drink, avoiding Sanghyuk’s eyes. Sanghyuk so badly wants to reach forward, to pet Jaehwan’s hair, his shoulders, and tell him that it’s okay, that everything is going to be alright. His fingers curl into the material of his dress shirt instead, unmoving.

‘Right!’ Jaehwan looks up, a pretty twinkle back in his eyes, any hint of prior emotion now gone -- and Sanghyuk’s heart aches just the slightest bit. ‘How rude of me, not to wait for you to get some food first!

‘Nah, it’s fine! Truthfully, I wouldn’t mind just chatting like this… I’m not sure if I’ll like the stuff here, I’m rather picky with food and drinks.’

‘Are you serious? No way! I’ll convert you today,’ Jaehwan gets out of his seat with an adorable look of determination in his eyes. ‘Now come with me,’ and Jaehwan doesn’t give Sanghyuk much of a choice either, just grabs at Sanghyuk’s hand, urging him out of his seat, excitedly dragging the both of them to the counter.

‘So. Look at this wonderful array of choices,’ Jaehwan gestures towards the menu, neat lines written in pastel chalks on a blackboard, and Sanghyuk’s got to admit the variety of choices is pretty awesome. ‘Swayed yet?’ Jaehwan looks up excitedly at Sanghyuk, and it takes all of him not to smile, but keep a straight face instead, which has Jaehwan sulking.

‘Regardless, you’re getting something from here today! What kind of drinks do you like, Sanghyuk?’

‘Um… Tea?’

‘Tea? Gosh, you’re really old-fashioned for someone who looks as edgy as you,’ Jaehwan sighs, shaking his head, fluffy hair swaying gently about. ‘Hmm, what kind of tea? Green tea?’

‘Yeah, that’s nice.’

‘Then I have just the thing for you!’ Jaehwan chirps, and Sanghyuk’s starting to wonder if Jaehwan’s getting sponsored by this café to promote their food or something. Sanghyuk looks at Jaehwan as he walks up to the counter and happily orders ‘one cup of hot matcha latte, please.’ Jaehwan fishes out his wallet and pays for the drink with a few loose, crumpled bills, and passes the drink over to Sanghyuk when done.

‘Here! Looks great, doesn’t it?’ Jaehwan smiles warmly, stuffing his wallet back into his jeans pocket. ‘Tastes even better, I assure you. It’s one of this café’s specialities, very highly raved about!’

‘Thank you,’ Sanghyuk accepts the cup gratefully, the drink warming his hand immediately. The drink is complete with a little heart on top, some kind of simple latte art, Sanghyuk supposes, but very pretty. ‘Hold on, let’s get back to the table so I can pay you back.’

‘Don’t,’ Jaehwan says, ‘It’s a gift of appreciation,’ Jaehwan explains and laughs softly.

Sanghyuk tries to convince Jaehwan otherwise, feeling really bad as it is their first meeting after all -- but Sanghyuk quickly learns that when Jaehwan insists, he gets his way. No buts, no point arguing back. In the end Sanghyuk relents, and promises to treat Jaehwan back some other time -- and Jaehwan nods sure, pretty pink on his cheeks.

The matcha latte tastes amazing, and Jaehwan laughs in the kind of ‘See, I told you’ way, happy at Sanghyuk’s amusing (eyes wide, jaw dropped) reaction. The hot drink warms Sanghyuk’s insides so nicely, comforting in this chilly weather -- but different from the way Jaehwan does to Sanghyuk. The unstoppable bouts of warm mushy feelings in Sanghyuk’s chest each time Jaehwan smiles or does simply anything at all -- Sanghyuk thinks that might just be love.

They finish their drinks soon enough, exchanging shy smiles and gazes.

‘I doubt we’re expecting any more people,’ Jaehwan gets out of his seat, and slings his guitar bag over his shoulder. ‘Let’s go out to the park? I know a nice place where I can sing a few songs, just for you,’ Jaehwan looks up at Sanghyuk with such a kind look in those large eyes, (and honestly, how is it possible for Sanghyuk not to sway?) ‘--and then we can call it a day.’

♪ ♫ ♬

Sanghyuk does keep his promise of making it up to Jaehwan by treating him back -- they meet again, the next week, and the next, and then the following one. Sanghyuk finds himself opening up a lot more to Jaehwan, understanding and empathetic Jaehwan who always listens, always speaks out of such a sincere and pure heart. They’ve both gotten to know each other so much better, gradually revealed little precious bits of themselves to each other, and -- at moments like this, it’s just hard to believe that there ever was a time where their relationship was simply a small struggling singer and his supportive fan, no less, no more.

Sanghyuk finds himself falling deeper, deeper into an endless pit of fluttery feelings for a soft boy with an unending love for others and completely deserving of all of that love back, oh, if not more.

♪ ♫ ♬

[hsh0705]:

hey!

so, we meeting at the café tomorrow as usual? ^^

[keken_0406]:

sorry, not this week!

i’m meeting someone really important, to discuss some stuff

actually, i’ll be pretty busy starting now so i’m not sure if we’ll have time to meet as often anymore ;;

[hsh0705]:

oh?

ahh, is that so :(

[keken_0406]:

yeah, i’m afraid

but don’t worry!

i’m going to be experimenting with something a little new for you fans :D

[hsh0705]:

ooh?

[keken_0406]:

yeah!

since, sanghyuk, you’ve been such a precious fan to me, i’ll let you in on some secret information ;)

i’ve wanted to try this out for a long time, and i’ve finally settled on it!

i’ll be doing a collaboration with one other small Instagrammer who makes music

[hsh0705]:

oh?

who?

[keken_0406]:

now that’ll be too much info heheh

wait for it on my next livestream!

this saturday night

please anticipate it!!

i’m really excited for this ahh

really hope you guys will like it, it’ll mean so much to me :))))

[hsh0705]:

ahh

of course!

i’ll definitely be anticipating this weekends’ livestreams then ^^

Sanghyuk exits the chat, feeling happy, of course, because Jaehwan’s happy; but yet there’s a strange, sad feeling, stubbornly settling in the confines of his chest. His gaze falls on the smiling teddy bear on his drawer -- a precious gift he’d contemplated over and over about, had struggled so much over how and when to give it -- and he’d meant to finally pass it to Jaehwan the next day. It’ll have to wait, then. Sanghyuk sighs and curls up in his bed, holds the soft bear close to his breast -- willing for the dull, unexplainable ache, to go away.

♪ ♫ ♬

‘Hello!’

Sanghyuk smiles at his screen as Jaehwan waves to the camera. He’s looking extra soft tonight, brown hair set in soft pretty curls across his forehead, and he’s wearing a fluffy white sweater, looking huge on his rather petite frame, the top nearly slipping off his shoulders. ‘Hello, my--’ Jaehwan leans in closer and squints a little at the screen, ‘--my twenty-five precious viewers! Welcome to KeNight!’

‘Today I have a surprise for you guys,’ Jaehwan starts, and strums his guitar lightly, humming sweetly as he reads all of the comments. Most of them are surprised, commenting question marks, and Sanghyuk smiles to himself. ‘Today I have someone very, very special joining me in our livestream.’

Oh. There’s a small stab of pain in Sanghyuk’s chest.

‘Some of you may know him already,’ Jaehwan smiles. ‘Let’s welcome a very talented rapper, Kim Wonshik, or better known as Ravi!’

Sanghyuk focuses on his screen as the boy, Wonshik, crawls out from under Jaehwan’s desk, and waves to the camera, crooked smile playing on his small mouth. He’s got piercings on his ears and nose, wearing a plain white tee and -- tanned skin adorned with a few noticeable tattoos. Next to Jaehwan, sure, he’s handsome, but he looks rather gruff, rough at the edges and -- Sanghyuk doesn’t exactly like this. It’s too early to judge, though, right?

Sanghyuk sighs as Jaehwan introduces Wonshik to the audience, not exactly paying attention to what he’s saying. All Sanghyuk sees is how Jaehwan’s more giggly than usual, the shy smiles Sanghyuk treasured so dearly on their dates are especially present in here -- and at one point Jaehwan reaches forward to run his fingers through Wonshik’s platinum blonde and seemingly soft hair, ruffling it up, laughing.

Sanghyuk suddenly thinks to their first meetup, how Jaehwan had done the exact same thing -- the jarring familiarity of it all, it throws a strong punch at Sanghyuk’s chest.

Wonshik, too. He doesn’t take his eyes off Jaehwan, not once -- droopy eyes way too telling, overflowing with affection and the thing is, Wonshik isn’t afraid to show it. Sanghyuk continues watching the stream, helpless, irrational jealousy bubbling in his tummy -- as Wonshik showers Jaehwan with affection, doesn’t refrain from telling Jaehwan how cute he is, unlike Sanghyuk; isn’t afraid to pet Jaehwan’s hair and pet his neck and pinch his neck and his cheeks and everything Sanghyuk’s longed to do, but never has. Wonshik handles out the love that Jaehwan so badly craves back, without restraint, so effortlessly and generously -- it reduces Jaehwan to a giggling, rosy-cheeked mess -- and he’s happy, so happy.

Their voices are a heavenly blend, it cannot be denied. They take requests and sing a few popular songs, most of them following the pattern of Jaehwan’s smooth and thick vocals followed by Wonshik’s rhythmic, relaxing rap breaks over Jaehwan’s soft guitar instrumentals -- and then finally them coming together in the chorus, Wonshik’s deep tones complimenting Jaehwan’s sweet voice perfectly.

Commenters are really active today. Full of compliments and hand clapping emojis and crying faces, expressing their love for the duo. Sanghyuk catches a few comments, saying how good they look together, how they look like such a perfect pair. Saying please, this collaboration cannot be a one-time thing, how it needs to last forever. Jaehwan is beaming by the time the livestream ends -- fully encouraged, overjoyed.

Tonight, marks the first livestream during which Sanghyuk doesn’t leave a single comment, or song request.

♪ ♫ ♬

Sunday morning, rain is falling.

Sanghyuk clutches the coat tighter around himself, quickening his steps as he makes his way towards the café -- gosh it is so cold. Finally, Sanghyuk arrives at his destination, and pushes at the door to enter -- little twinkling bells welcoming and announcing his arrival. The inside of the café is warm from the many heaters placed all around, and oh, so comforting.

A small smile tugs at Sanghyuk’s lips as he orders a cup of hot matcha latte, before making his way towards that very table tucked into the corner. Sanghyuk slips into an empty seat, releasing a deep sigh.

The seat opposite his is empty.

Fumbling a little into his pocket, Sanghyuk finally fishes out the little teddy bear keychain -- thank goodness it didn’t get wet from the rain just now, light brown fur still dry and fluffy and -- a happy smile sewn onto its little face. Sanghyuk sighs and rubs his thumb against its furry face gently.

He’d lost the chance to pass it to Jaehwan.

A wistful smile plays on Sanghyuk’s chapped lips as his gaze falls on the view outside, through the café’s clear glass windows. His cheek presses against the glass, the surface cold and almost slightly stinging against his skin. Sanghyuk sadly observes as falling raindrops make their own little trails down the clear surface, some mingling together and then, never to be seen again.

An image flashes across Sanghyuk’s closed eyes -- Jaehwan, pretty and soft Jaehwan with a fiery passion for music, holding onto his treasured guitar, eyes closed and pretty lips parted around song lyrics. A familiar voice plays in Sanghyuk’s ears, now -- smooth, thick with emotion, and everything nice. Then another voice joins his, low in pitch and blending with Jaehwan’s perfectly and -- there’s suddenly a thrumming, painful ache in Sanghyuk’s chest.

A lot has changed.

Jaehwan no longer sings on his own, he and Wonshik now make music as a duo, on a separate account. Popularity came creeping in fast, ever since that eventful livestream -- fans absolutely loved their talent, loved how their voices sounded together, how good they looked together. Weekly nightstreams with barely twenty viewers was no more. Never again. First viewer was now impossible, no more personalised song requests. The cosy feeling of familiarity vanished as quickly as how everything began.

Also, there’s now a new something in Jaehwan’s soft eyes, it appears whenever he looks at Wonshik, and Sanghyuk knows it too well. It mirrors exactly how Sanghyuk used to look at him, either through his phone screen during a livestream, or during their short-lived but once-frequent meetups. The only difference is that Jaehwan’s looking at Wonshik like that, and not Sanghyuk.

It’s a feeling that never was meant for Sanghyuk, not once -- it was just Sanghyuk, rash and smitten Sanghyuk, who’d gotten his hopes too high.

But Jaehwan’s truly happy now, doing what he loves, in love -- Sanghyuk should rightfully be feeling glad.

There’s still a suffocating pull in Sanghyuk’s chest, though, and it hurts. Fighting the burning sensation in his eyes and the sharp twinge in his nose, Sanghyuk reaches forward, takes the teddy bear into his trembling hands and presses into its soft belly lightly. A soft, crackly voice recorded message trails from the small keychain.

‘I think… I think I really like you, Jaehwan’

any support is greatly appreciated ;~;

#hyuken #vixx #fic #where jaehwan's a small struggling singer and sanghyuk's been there since the start #ahh #i was so excited to write this bc i relate to it so much #i've got the biggest crush on this small instagram singer who does lives #but i feel like this didn't turn out as well as i expected it to #;;; also i was kinda rushing to finish this bc my exams start tomorrow but i wanted to get this done before #hope it's okay;;

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