fUCK ive just remembered why i hate carl.

throwing rocks at a zombie, saying cruel things to carol, getting my beloved dale kILLE..........i do not believe that children can be evil, but carl comes pretty fucking close smh 😒

assorted old and somewhat unfinished oc art (except the second one thats recent)

Dear new accounts mass liking my posts from completely blank blogs and with default pfps:

Please reblog things. It is the only way things get shared here (there isn't a real algorithm). It is good and encouraged (it is not the same as reposting since when you click the reblog button it keeps the creators original post and link to their blog in what you are sharing)

I suck at explaining things but reblogging is vital to the tumblr ecosystem especially for artists and writers. You don't need to carefully curate your blog or keep to some theme. If you want to do that you can create sideblogs too to reblog certain themed posts. If you like something enough to hit "like" then you should totally reblog it! People will eventually be following you and probably would like to see that post too!

Also people block and report blank blogs especially ones that have the default pfp and header because we have a bot problem and this looks like bot behavior (especially with a blank blog!) So you should update those things too asap so you don't get mistaken for a bot 🙏💜

and are these child slave quinoa vegans in the room with us right now

not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth

revenge of the island where everything’s the same except scott chooses to vote out zoey instead of mike to gain the upper hand or smth 

the catch is that previously-dormant-since-leaving-juvie mal ends up fronting after, similar to how zoey invoked commando zoey, bc he’s the Protector of the system--or maybe he and mike end up co-hosting??? and it turns into a push-pull thing between them and scott bc mike and scott are already dealing with their issues; meanwhile mal’s as morally gray as the next person and although he’s royally ticked off at scott for messing with mike and threatening the system, he also can’t help but be impressed at how utterly slippery scott is--and ofc tries to exploit that slipperiness and use it against scott. while scott’s sorta confused bc ‘okay this guy isn’t svetlana or chester or manitoba or vito, so who is he??’ but also he’s like ‘wow a worthy opponent?? hell yeah!’ and there’s def some underlying tension reaching its peak that gets cut off when scott gets eliminated following canon events (so mike gets eliminated like zoey was btw) bc duh they’re both trying to beat each other for (mostly) different reasons and with questionable morales within a show where everyone’s pitted against each other, ofc there’s gonna be a tension plus mal kinda doesn’t like scott for what he did lmao (v understandable and valid)

and then they meet again in all-stars and that tension rekindles...among other things :)

somewhere along the way (maybe in a snippet of a scene before scott’s elimination or during all-stars or in the span of time between their eliminations and roti’s finale) scott does the equivalent of apologizing for threatening the system, mainly bc mal would have thrown him without ado straight into fang’s jaws if he didn’t own up to it, but also after being in mal’s (and mike’s) presence for as long as he was, scott genuinely starts to feel bad--not for kicking out all those ppl prior, including zoey, but of how he went abt hurting mike and the rest of the system--mal was just that push he needed to own up to his misdeed. anyway after that, mal doesn’t want to forgive or see scott in a more ‘positive’ light after that happens, but this time mike, the more forgiving one out of them all, is the one being the push to get the alters to try to forgive scott, and after that, as they say, it’s history :D

no but, the urge to write this as a oneshot-type fic set during revenge of the island that acts as a “prologue” for the next multichaptered fic set during all-stars-

it’d give an excuse to portray scott as the villain he deserves to be in all-stars while also warring with his emotions bc I can bet that homeboy has never had a crush, fell in love, or dated anyone before. (plus hopefully I can write mike’s system (namely mal) in a better way than fresh did, and I can touch upon his past--like how he ended up in juvie--and his relations with other characters, like duncan and zoey and cam.) 

swear I’ll elaborate more on this when I don’t have a project due within a day and when I’m not in a motivation slump lmfao

...

my mom asking her drunk son who has autism texture issues (KNOWN: gets nauseous interacting with mushrooms because theyre a sensory nightmare) to come in and chop up mushrooms for a dish she was intending for me to eat and getting mad when i both cut myself and end up heaving over the trash can because mushroom texture is literally somehing g-d created to punish me

i need t have a good journal session where im not just horribly mean to myself in writing and also need to come up w some doable manageable goals for the near future that will start to fulfill some of my overall long tern goals w health and wellness and such .

New anxiety discovered: eating in front of people

I can't deal with this shit anymore

i cant fet myself to do anything

climb to Khicho Lake near Manang, Nepal. July 2023. 28.677113, 84.056527.

.

🦋

Okay I'm almost done with Fellowship, here's an incomplete list of shit I noticed and thought was buck fucking wild on my first ever read-thru: medieval edition.

In literally the second line of the book, Tolkien implies that Bilbo Baggins wrote a story which was preserved alongside the in-universe version of the Mabinogion (aka the best-known collection of Welsh myths; I promise this is batshit). This is because The Hobbit has been preserved, in Tolkien's AU version of our world, in a "selection of the Red Book of Westmarch" (Prologue, Concerning Hobbits). If you're a medievalist and you see something called "The Red Book of" or "The Black Book of" etc it's a Thing. In this case, a cheeky reference to the Red Book of Hergest (Llyfr Coch Hergest). There are a few Red Books, but only Hergest has stories).

not a medieval thing but i did not expect one common theory among hobbits for the death of Frodo's parents to be A RUMORED MURDER-SUICIDE.

At the beginning of the book a few hobbits report seeing a moving elm tree up on the moors, heading west (thru or past the Shire). I mentioned this in another post, but another rule: if you see an elm tree, that's a Girl Tree. In Norse creation myth, the first people were carved from driftwood by the gods. Their names were Askr (Ash, as in the tree), the first man, and Embla (debated, but likely elm tree), the first woman. A lot of ppl have I think guessed that that was an ent-wife, but like. Literally that was a GIRL. TREE.

Medieval thing: I used to read the runes on the covers of The Hobbit and LOTR for fun when I worked in a bookshop. There's a mix of Old Norse (viking) and Old English runes in use, but all the ones I've noticed so far are real and readable if you know runes.

Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you once spent months of your life researching the early medieval art of galdor, which was the use of poems or songs to do a form of word-magic, often incorporating gibberish. If you think maybe Tolkien did not base the entirety of Fellowship so far around learning and using galdor and thus the power of words and stories, that is fine I cannot force you. He did personally translate "galdor" in Beowulf as "spell" (spell, amusingly, used to mean "story"). And also he named an elf Galdor. Like he very much did name an elf Galdor.

Tom Bombadil in fact does galdor from the moment we meet him. He arrives and fights the evil galdor (song) of the willow tree ("old gray willow-man, he's a mighty singer"), which is singing the hobbits to sleep and possibly eating them, with a galdor (song) of his own. Then he wanders off still singing, incorporating gibberish. I think it was at this point that I started clawing my face.

THEN Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you've read the description of the scop's songs in Beowulf (Beowulf again, but hey, Tolkien did famously a. translate it b. write a fanfiction about it called Sellic Spell where he gave Beowulf an arguably homoerotic Best Friend). The scop (pronounched shop) is a poet who sings about deeds on earth, but also by profession must know how to sing the song or tell the story of how the cosmos itself came to be. The wise-singer who knows the deep lore of the early universe is a standard trope in Old English literature, not just Beowulf! Anyway Tom Bombadil takes everyone home and tells them THE ENTIRE STORY OF ALL THE AGES OF THE EARTH BACKWARDS UNTIL JUST BEFORE THE MOMENT OF CREATION, THE BIG BANG ITSELF and then Frodo Baggins falls asleep.

Tom Bombadil knows about plate tectonics

This is sort of a lie, Tom Bombadil describes the oceans of old being in a different place, which works as a standard visual of Old English creation, which being Christian followed vaguely Genesis lines, and vaguely Christian Genesis involves a lot of water. TOLKIEN knew about plate tectonics though.

Actually I just checked whether Tolkien knew about plate tectonics because I know the advent of plate tectonics theory took forever bc people HATED it and Alfred Wegener suffered for like 50 years. So! actually while Tolkien was writing LOTR, the scientific community was literally still not sure plate tectonics existed. Tom Bombadil knew tho.

Remember that next time you (a geologist) are forced to look at the Middle Earth map.

I'm not even done with Tom Bombadil but I'm stopping here tonight. Plate tectonics got me. There's a great early (but almost high!) medieval treatise on cosmology and also volcanoes and i wonder if tolkien read it. oh my god. i'm going to bed.

edit: part II