peanut butter

Summary: In which Carol and Natasha accidentally adopts another cat.

Note: This HC takes place Post-Hogwarts, after Carol and Natasha moved in together. This is what PB looks like :3 and this incorrect quote was included.

In collaboration with @starslikecandlelight​​

Natasha is the one who brings PB home.

It's the height of winter, and she sees him hiding amongst the bushes outside their home when she returns home from the London Sorcery Library, her brain aching after a long day of sitting at her desk, poring over ancient tomes and manuscripts that she needs for her thesis. Three weeks away from Christmas, the streets are blanketed with snow, and she's shivering even through the lined jacket Carol had bought her. She can't imagine how utterly cold the tiny kitten must feel, huddled in a snowdrift, without a mama cat or littermates to keep it safe and warm. It stares up at her, its baby-grey eyes wide and terrified, and it's shaking so badly that Natasha can't help herself — she crouches next to it slowly, careful not to startle it any further, and reaches out a hand.

"Hi, baby," she murmurs, smiling slightly when it stretches out to give her fingers a tiny, cautious sniff; it lets out a plaintive mew when she pulls away, and she scratches at the top of its head with a finger. "Don't worry, I'll get you out of here, just hang on, okay?"

She scoops it out of its tiny nest of snow and tucks it into her jacket to keep it warm — its fur is so dirty and matted that she can't even tell what colour it is under all that muck, and she's pretty sure that she can see fleas all over it. When it nuzzles against her chest, she can see the mud rubbing off into her shirt, and she winces, resigning herself to yet another ruined blouse in one week.

The kitten raises its head warily when she lets her apartment door swing shut behind her with a quiet click, and meows up at her. Carol, who'd been so occupied in her book that she hasn't noticed Natasha's return glances up at that, her eyes darting straight to the squirming bundle in her hands at once.

"Is that a kitten?" She sets her book face-down carefully on the wooden crate that serves as their table and bounds over to Natasha, and Natasha rolls her eyes good-naturedly and sighs.

"Hi, thanks for the welcome home, oh, my day was great, and yes, I found a kitten." She accepts the kiss that Carol presses to her cheek in apology before glancing down at the cat in her arms.

"Nat, we have two cats."

Liho and Goose are already pawing at her legs, eager to meet the new addition into their home, and Natasha presses the kitten firmly against her — Merlin forbid their two other cats end up with fleas, as well.

"I know."

"We have one bedroom."

"I know."

"Nat," Carol begins again. "We can't keep it."

The kitten lets out a tiny squeak, followed by a sneeze.

"We're not keeping him — not permanently, at least," Nat decides firmly. "We're just fostering him until he gets old enough to be given away, okay?"

"We're not naming it."

"Nope."

"We're not getting attached."

"Nope."

And Carol relaxes, stroking the kitten gently before plucking it straight out of Natasha's arms; Natasha can hear her cooing at it even through the bathroom door, "Alright, welcome to your new temporary home, lil' buddy. I'm just going to give you a nice, warm bath to get rid of all these bugs, okay? You're safe now."

*

One month later, Natasha realises that they might be in trouble.

The kitten is always underfoot, he (they've graduated from an 'it' to a 'he', now) adores being carried by both Natasha and Carol, and Carol's taken to carrying him around their tiny apartment, tucked into the hood of her jacket. Liho and Goose both love him, already - she's walked in on the three of them napping together in the cat tree, the tiny newest addition tucked in between the both of them.

"He's going to get himself into trouble someday," she warns Carol one morning when Carol sets him on the kitchen table, dropping a kiss to Natasha's forehead before turning to grab herself a cup of tea. The kitten scrambles across towards Natasha happily - a tiny fluffy ball of pale orange fur tottering on unsteady legs - and Natasha can't help but smile, abandoning her breakfast to play with him, letting him bat at her fingers until he stumbles up onto her plate and rolls over into her peanut butter sandwich.

She lets out a yelp of alarm, and Carol, standing by the sink with her cup in her hand, can't help but snort out a laugh.

Carol," she whines, picking the kitten up from her plate - he looks so adorably confused and upset at the sticky brown substance in his paws and all over his fur, she winces at the long, orange strands left in the bread, resigning herself ruefully to making a second breakfast. "It's not funny!"

Carol accepts the kitten, still grinning broadly when she reaches down to grab the kitten shampoo they've stashed under their sink, shushing the kitten when he begins to meow in protest.

"We gotta clean you up, peanut butter monster," she murmurs softly as he wriggles in her grasp, flailing at the sides of the sink. "You're all gross, now. And you owe my girlfriend a meal, too."

Natasha watches — Carol is so soft around him, so gentle, it makes her heart clench in her chest, and she's already dreading the idea of having to give the kitten away.

*

Natasha hears Carol slip up two weeks after the Sandwich Incident, as she's dubbed it in her head.

She comes home after a long meeting with Professor Mcgonagall back in Hogwarts, her head still spinning slightly from the floo travel when she steps out of the tiny fireplace in their apartment, brushing herself off. Carol's playing with the cats in their bedroom, she can hear her talking to Liho and Goose, and — peanut butter?

"You called the kitten peanut butter?" She shoves the stack of parchment that makes up her thesis into their shared bookshelf, wincing slightly when it dislodges another book and sends it crashing to the ground, then flings herself on top of their bedcovers behind Carol, cuddling up to her. Carol turns to kiss her once, twice before pulling away.

"Well, I can't call him sticky brown nut juice, can I?"

Natasha groans, burying her face into Carol's shoulder — her girlfriend is a dork — before mumbling, "We promised not to name him."

"Oops?" But Carol doesn't look apologetic at all. "We can't keep calling him cat or kitty for the rest of his stay, Nat."

"It's a terrible name."

"Well, I think it's cute — he's so fat and tubby, it fits him!"

Carol continues calling him 'peanut butter'.

Natasha refuses to address him by that name.

(To her utter dismay, the kitten seems to respond to it, running up to carol whenever his name is called.)

*

She slips up three days before they've decided to put up adoption notices for him. Carol should be at quidditch practice, and her shift at the bookstore had ended, for once, right on time, and she's in an exceptionally good mood.

"Hi PB, mama's home," she picks him up, cradling him to her chest, savouring the way he tucks himself into her neck and purrs — she doesn't even realise what she's just said until she hears Carol clear her throat from where she's sitting in the kitchen, Goose curled up at her feet.

"Hi PB, mama's home?" she raises an eyebrow as she stands up, and Natasha can't help the flush that rises up her neck and into her cheeks.

"What happened to practice?" 

"Half the team is down with the flu," Carol replies easily, pulling Natasha into her arms. "What happened to 'it's a terrible name'?"

PB squirms his way in between them before curling up on Carol's shoulder, a tiny, purring puddle of fur, and Natasha strokes his back gently.

"Well — we can't keep calling him kitten."

"No," Carol smiles down at her, and Natasha nuzzles herself deeper into her embrace.

"Our baby needs a name," she mumbles, and when she tilts her head up to meet Carol's eyes, she can see that Carol's grin has widened.

"We're not giving him up, then."

And Natasha shakes her head, feeling something warm pool deep in her chest when their kitten closes his eyes, her gentle touch already lulling him to sleep. 

"He's our PB. And he's not going anywhere."

(not yet a miracle but one day) ficus!! 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 24, 27 (lmao), 32, 39, 46!! sorry i chose a shitton

ficus is absolutely the miraclest miracle even tho hell never take that name so he counts (i kinda wanted to be asked abt him most tbh) SO THANK YOU also no sorries, im sorry for this clusterfuck that probably doesnt make any sense and also for taking so long!

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?idk how to best put it but…hes generally v unhappy with his situation and everything that comes from it (unemployment and work shit and all) at this point he has no idea what hell b doing the next day (not that he knows what hes doing at all) but…hes definitely able to hide that well until he gets back home, so…no. no exploiting. snowdrift could, at a certain point, but…he no longer wants to.03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?he likes his hair (i think thats obvious) but hes also ok with his general appearance like…the amount of muscle and that shit04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)ok physical he rly likes snowdrifts curls (i swear theyre just rly soft i just Know) and his lil dootworthy nose and his delicate pianist fingers, character traits would be…how hes able to feel (and show) such intense emotions abt a lot of things, his thirst for knowledge and just general curiosity and how persistent and stubborn he is (all traits that ficus lacks) also later on how hes just willing to…give so much to a person who only seems to have been taking from him? just honest strong support when he needs it most, so probably like…how he was willing to set all the shit aside when it got serious? is that a trait? probablyBONUS snowdrift for ficus: snowdrift too loves that one single curl that ficus has (i know i keep saying that), his nose, his lips (snowdrift dies at those lips especially combined with that stupidly good voice), probably also his abs and butt and…maybe…his neck? XD there is A LOT. for character traits…at first he doesnt rly see the true ficus but he knows there HAS to be more to it which is part of what attracts him, all the mysteries for him to solve, and though the whole im tough and strong and cool and know just how to drive you mad in any possible way is super attractive to him, when he rly knows who he fell in love with its like…hes so overwhelmed by how dAMN SOFT THIS BOY IS and he just thinks its so beautiful that hes so complex and ajsfbakjsfnaksd im gonna actually tear up snowdrift probably does too? also his persistence when it comes to snowdrift and how supportive/protective he is of him despite his softness and own shit i guess? and how smart he is (u bet theres dirty talk in latin happening i die)05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?tough toUGH TOUGH like sure…he definitely starts out super shy because the poker face?? its just that the boy knows nOTHING about love and then this shitbag of a first breaks his heart but…generally i wouldnt necessarily use shy as a label since…he did absolutely enjoy that intense power showoff that was early snowdrifticus (until snowdrift found out how to neutralise him oops, it was mostly just the joy of finally getting him to shut up…about work stuff) but in the end when everythings said and done hes still a soft subby marshmallow at heart (imagine this said like spooky scary skeletons because i do for some reason?) also this was a lot more than what the q said and maybe i also completely blew it but…yeah08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?he would probably say that his biggest flaw is that hes still existing or some…really bad stuff like that, so no hes definitely not rly aware…at least hes rly good at focusing on some things and completely ignoring the other? but to answer question one…probably this exactly? how hes throwing himself so deep into all the self pity and negative stuff and just being like…pls swallow me but also…i rly cant blame him for that. just like the whole thing of putting on such an extreme show because thats just a) him trying to show that hes strong and scary so nobody will see how vulnerable he is but at the same time also exploiting that huge difference between actually being vulnerable but acting completely different? its just such an Experience and i definitely blame him for needing this extreme stuff so much?? but that again is just a way to feel smth else than sad iTS ALL CONNECTED IDK10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?depends on how you define femininity or masculinity? sure hes…v emotional and marshmallowy deep down and he spends a LONG time grooming his hair but i aint abt those stereotypes xD he has a rly damn good dark voice and som abs and a pretty masculine face and his poker face/power trip self is definitely condensed masculinity (esp with all that testosterone cause snowdrift tension bless the boys)24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?an infuriatingly attractive idiot? xD and the worst pighead he knows (he admires that tho) and also he thinks snowdrift has the most angelic face eSP LIKE U KNO IN DIM LIGHT PRESSED AGAINST A PILLOW OR SOM SHIT but he would never ever say that out loud27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?mURDER it would…probably be because he took his whole police game one step too far??32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?ficus isnt one to leave the house much if he doesnt have to…he turned into a true hermit during his vamp years even tho he actually DOESNT burn in the sun…but if anything, hed want to go somewhere absolutely deserted, in the late evening or at night mAYBE THE BEACH CAUSE SYMBOLISM or just a hill with a nice view that isnt light blue and full of moles. hed be absolutely ok with having a lil picnic and just cuddling and talking and taking things in? thats the worst cheese i know39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?what ppl assume by ficus appearance works very well with his poker face self because like…theyll probably think hes very collected but also sharp and probably pretty evil and could definitely murder you in your sleep and thats absolutely what hes trying to convey and what hes acting out so…no the assumption isnt correct at all, behind all the snark hides a (still snarky) v bitter v sad vamp who just wants to b held in various ways46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?tbh snowdrift is a lot more abt random affection than ficus? ficus does give a lot of temple kisses tho.