I have always dreamed that by 30 I would be starting to think about having a baby. I've always dreamed of being a mother. There's a lot of places I thought I'd be right now. I turn 30 in a few months, and that's not where the Lord has me right now. I guess that's the point, those were MY plans. One day maybe it will be the right time, but it's not right now. That being said, my baby fever has been REAL. Even though I'm content with where I am, my body was screaming "It's baby time!!" (Any of my females out there feel me?). Well, God saw me, and made me a puppy mom. Let me tell you, I needed this little girl in my life. Something to pour my love into and take care of. If you follow me and see any of my other pages and posts, you may be tired of hearing about her, but the fact that everything fell into place, and that she's mine is such a blessing. I wasn't even looking. My brother and sister-in-law were. The puppy they fell in love with just happened to have a sister that needed a home too. Originally it wasn't able to happen, but I watched as each thing fell into place so she could be laying on my shoulder right now. It was nothing short of "meant to be". So since this is the only page that hasn't had a formal introduction yet, this is my baby, Melody. I'm completely in love, and be prepared for all the puppy spam. Lol. . . . #puppymom #puppylove #love #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/CAIf7kvjbNE/?igshid=1mjzt4c5qi6p7

This last week has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Every emotion in the book I've felt it. All at once, sometimes. Lol. I'm gunna talk about the things that made me overwhelmed with happiness, though. I want to focus on the good today, and let the rest roll away. So here we go: Last Friday we had an online release for my bands EP, and it was so awesome to see people all over the world be able to join us. If it weren't for technology and being forced to learn how to get creative since we are all in our houses right now, I wouldn't have been able to share that moment with my family and friends all over the world. Saturday our EP dropped (available on all streaming services. Check the link @sirenvalley ;) ), and I am so proud of everyone that worked on it to make it what it is and thankful for everyone that is listening to it and enjoying it! Sunday I was able to wake up and enjoy the sunrise and still watch sunrise service online with my family. I'm also trying to remember to be thankful that i do have my family under this roof together during this time. Sometimes we can drive eachother nuts being stuck in here all the time together, but I'm so lucky that I get to have them here with me. Yesterday, I was able to help my mom make a video about butterflies for her class and help her build a website as she's teaching through distance learning now. I also get to sit in the same office as her (my room), and it's kinda nice to have someone to work beside. This morning I was able to join my prayer group online and pray for eachother and others. This afternoon I was able to sit in online bible study with my girls and just be lifted up and renewed. There has been so many moments this week that filled my heart with joy, and I'm so thankful for his kindness to me even in the suffering. . . . #joy #thislastweek #emotions #thankful #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/B_AVLwnDVN0/?igshid=1kf0jsas9t3c1

It's quarantine spirit week, and today's theme is Christmas!! Yay!! So I pulled out one of my ugly Christmas sweaters to celebrate. Small things can bring us joy and connection in this time. Across the front of my sweater is the word #believe. It's a question I ask everyday lately. In uncertain times, when you feel confused, it's a question important to help find stability. What do I believe? What do I lean on in times like this? Here are a few things I believe: ♥️I believe that kindness and love will help us beat this, and that it will shine far brighter than any of the bad. ♥️ I believe that we are given small and large blessings to hold onto during times like this. Look for them. ♥️ I believe that this will end, and we will come back stronger than ever before. Any trial helps you learn, adapt, and grow. It's up to you how you will let this grow you. Will you grow to be a light in the darkness? ♥️ I believe that the enemy is on the attack, but he will not win. ♥️ I believe in prayer and that God is bigger than this. What do you believe? How are you holding strong during this time? As for me I will keep what parts of a routine I can. I will pray often. Spread joy often. I will pay attention to and enjoy small things like #socialdistancespiritweek. I will be thankful for what I have. I will help those who need it more than me. I will ask for wisdom and discernment. I will ask for courage. And I will love fearlessly. . . . . #socialdistancing #bekind #whatdoyoubelieve #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Kg7xZjV3j/?igshid=w14qld47k9dg

Well this last weekend my band @sirenvalley made it through our first few days of recording at @valleycrestrecording ! I only cried twice, and I call that a success! When I say out hearts and souls are in this EP, it's not just words. There's one song in particular we were working on, and as I was singing it through for the first time in the studio, all the emotions came spilling over. These songs came from experience and heartache and learning to overcome. Putting it out into the world, we're not just putting out music, we're putting our hearts on our sleeve. We hope once it's released that people don't only like it, but that it touches people's hearts. I also cried when I heard the first completed song with the harmonies and everything. I am so incredibly proud of this project and can't wait to share it with everyone and share the stories behind each song! 1 more day of recording and then it's onto mixing! . . . #scratchedupheart #recording #blog #singer #sirenvalley #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/B7Wb4d3Fr-Q/?igshid=sasvlk72bddn

Summer has officially (like officially officially) arrived! Even though we’ve been saying “yay summer” for awhile now. 😂 Time for some fun in sun! My summer plans include sitting outside sippin on something fruity and playing games, summer night concerts and outdoor movies, beach days, and a road trip! What does your summer look like? If you're looking for a fun summer craft, maybe try this adorable tick-tac-toe game! All you need is a wood stump, some stones, and some paint and gloss! . . . #summernights #flatlay #summer #jamminwithamyb

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“Breathe, call these bones to live . Call these lungs to sing.” I don’t think I realized just how deep that would cut when I asked to sing that song. I will start from the beginning. I feel like I have been on a journey over the last month. I’m talking mountains and valley’s kind of journey. A few weeks ago I talked about how renewing Big Bear was for me. It’s always so easy to see God in the beautiful and the good. What I didn’t mention was 2 days after we returned, I went in for a procedure. With my POTS, I have been through one a many of procedures, and while I had some anxiety, it was a minor one. It would be fine. I went in, they put me under, and I woke up in the recovery room under the impression that everything went fine. I was awake. I didn’t seem to be in pain. All was good. Then my doctor informed me that shortly into the procedure I lost all oxygen. They called the crash team and pulled out. They were unable to finish because….in short….I was dying. So I would have to reschedule and do it again later. At first I found it funny. Of course my overdramatic self had to almost die during a routine procedure. Why would it be any other way? Then I thought of the fact that, even if just for a moment, I almost wasn’t here. When that sinks in it’s like this heavy weight just sits on your chest. Then anxiety kicked in, “I have to go do it again??”. It went very quickly from funny to panic. That rollercoaster continued for the next few weeks. I was in this weird juxtaposition of a desire to live my life to the fullest and absolute dread. I started asking God why this was happening. What is the purpose? One morning while praying, “Tremble” came on. The words made me sob as I realized that I am still here. I didn’t die on that table, and there is a reason I didn’t. I am called to live, and my lungs are called to sing. When that sunk in, that weight lifted. I’d be lying if I said I don’t fall into anxiety about going back in, but then I breathe. I’m here, I’m alive, and there is a reason for that. I don’t know what you may be going through, but just remember, your bones are called to live. SO LIVE. #testimony #live #potsawareness #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/BxQANC8HkZZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xl97c8q0ao7i

I love to travel, but ever since my accident in 2012 my anxiety can hit so hard. Normally on our way up to Big Bear the winding roads up the mountain get to me a little, as much as I try to suppress it. This trip we took earlier this week, there was no anxiety. It's like I saw the beauty in new eyes. We had rolled down the windows, and turned up the music, and enjoyed the fresh air and views, and all anxiety was erased. Maybe it was having @thebassabides by my side, or the calming of the wind in my hair, or maybe a combination of all of it, like a perfect movie scene, it felt the complete opposite of anxiety, it felt relaxing. I'm so thankful for it. ❤️ . . . . #anxiety #relax #windowsdown #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/BwfD-d-nf7U/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6hzp0pbk5xtk

I'm saying that I wished spring into action yesterday! It was supposed to be rainy and cloudy and awful out yesterday, and my band (@sirenvalley) had an outdoor festival to play at. All week I had planned to wear cute spring clothes. A dress with a cute flower headband and some heels. Until a few days before when it said it was going to be cold and rainy and windy. I was so sad. So I decided to wear warmer clothes, but also put on some flower pants and a flower headband, Because it is supposed to be spring!! Even on the way there the wether report said rain was on the way and that it was going to be dark and cloudy. We were prepared, but completely shocked when we pulled up and it was blue skies and sunshine with a light breeze. Beautiful spring weather! It stayed like that the whole time we were there! So im not sure what happened, but I'm thanking my flowered headband. Lol. . . . #comeonspring #selfie #weekend #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu32nJ3nKN3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=b3sidt3o81h4

We were hoping for some snow today, but it just ended up being more rain. Oh well, maybe that means our little hometown will start to look a little more like this in some areas! I know one thing for sure, it means the poppies are gunna be stunning this year!!! I've made a decision, though. If it's not going to snow, then I think it just needs to be spring already! I'm ready for blooming season! . . . #rain #nature #tbt #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/BuJegLlHWZ7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=r78jt39bbvye

When it's been a long day, week, month, I picture myself sipping some fruity drinks on the beach with my toes in the sand and the sound of the waves rolling in. Like they're washing away my cares and carrying them far out to sea. Then I remember that technically I'm not that far from the beach, and I could be there right now, if O didn't have another full day on my schedule. I'm currently using this picture from our trip to the beach last week to visualize sunshine and waves. Sharing for anyone else who needs it. . . 🌊The waves come in. . . 🌊The waves go out carrying away all your stress and anxiety far far put to sea . . Repeat as many times as you need. . . . . . #saturday #relax #selfcare #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs0m51XnK7R/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9ekcz2ylz4zw

It's been awhile since I've been able to step into a recording studio. I missed it! My friend Max built this studio, and it is amazing! I took some video and will be editing together sometime after Christmas! So stay tuned! . . . . #recording #singer #tbt #desertsoundsstudio #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/BrVO7uVHI3M/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1prbxlrd5ksjq

Took my first shot at using the Chromatic powders! I love them so much! I hope they come out with some more soon! I'll be doing a tutorial in the next few weeks on how to use them, so keep an eye out!

Trying to fall into this going out again thing. Even put on make-up and actual clothes to go out to the beach (socially distanced of course) the other day. This year is all about adjusting, and growing. I had known it would be a growth year for me in January. I just didn't know how much adjusting would happen. How much we'd face, and have to grow. How uncomfortable it would get. How I would feel like a completely different person just 7 months later. A lot had changed in my personal life, but a lot is changing in the world too. I don't know that anything will look the same on the other side of this. But I'm ready to embrace that change. So I'm gunna put on my make-up, my clothes and walk into the change unafraid. . . . #embracechange #growth #blog #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/CCG-2MHDt8h/?igshid=188plitvdivzi

My definition of success has always been a little different. It wasn't about how much money I'm making, or what titles I have under my belt. It was more about my happiness, the adventures I take, how hard I work, and the people I help along the way. While I don't think that's a bad way of measuring success, my definition has been changing a little again. I had planned a tour with my band and some friends. We put so much work into it. For some reason this tour made me feel the pride of success. When all this hit and we had to cancel, I had a little anxiety. I applied my own pressure to figure out how to be successful in this new world, and felt overwhelmed to chase this vague concept of "success". Over the last few weeks, my definition has changed and my anxiety has lifted. While I still believe I measure by happiness and the people I help, I've realized that my definition of success is when I'm walking and standing where God wants and needs me to be. So if that's touring across the country or playing online, or sitting at home messaging someone one on one, as long as I'm where he needs me, I'm good. . . . #success #perspective #musician #hisplan #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/CAalFFGjBEC/?igshid=1x2tv83kfji8f

I feel like I grew up always longing for that happily ever after moment. That moment always included a "not-so" prince (I always fell for the bad boys that turned good) getting down on one knee asking the princess (me of course) to marry him. I watched sweeping romance movies. I played games like dream phone and made up grand stories of how after he said "You're right, I really like you" and I won the game, we dated and fell madly in love. I started writing songs about falling in love in my school journals at 10 years old. I thought for sure, that after high school it was just around the corner for me. Let me just become an adult, and then I'll fall in love sometime in college, get married a couple years later, spend a few years traveling together, build my music career enough that I can live off of it, have it all all by my 30's, and then I could start having kids. I had a plan. I had a happily ever after goal set, and I was ready for it! Well guess what? God looked at my plan and said, "Let go of it, I have something better." I didnt want to believe it. I wanted to fight it. That was a great plan that I spent years of my childhood building! What do you mean by better? Well, here I am, 29, single. You know what? God was right. He did have better. I'm not saying that marriage or kids won't ever happen for me. Maybe one day they will. But that's not my "happily ever after". My happily ever after has already begun without a man. My happily ever after is sitting playing dream phone and drinking wine with my bff on the floor of her apartment. Happily ever after is writing music with my band. Happily ever after is touring with my life long friends. Happily ever after is sitting watching "This Is Us" with my mom on the couch with our dogs piled on top of us. Happily ever after is sipping coffee with my Bible study gals. Happily ever after is stepping out into my calling and trusting that what he has for me really is better than whatever I've worked up in my head.I need to remember to be thankful for my current happily ever after. While it's different from how I thought it would look, it's still just as magical. #happilyeverafter #newplans #blog #jamminwithamyb https://www.instagram.com/p/B9mNh3sDvh2/?igshid=89no8rm3dyvf