Hi. I'm a software developer. I like thinking up clever algorithms, ways so solve problems and so on, and I'm not bothered by complexity. My weak side is implementation: I literally get hung up on bringing ideas to life in this world because of arithmetic and similar "low-level" stuff. When working in team, taking charge, managing people and solving problems with no known solution is easier than implementing what is known. How do I overcome this downside? My type is xNTJ.

I have discussed these learning issues before because this is a common problem for Ns, see the section on Learning & Study. When learning, the typical N relies heavily on intuition to get by, for example, through: being a good guesser; only remembering information long enough to pass and/or practicing just enough to pass; believing that grasping the "gist" is good enough; only attending to information as long as it keeps one's interest; only performing as well as is necessary to look good in comparison to others; etc. In essence, they don't realize that their way of learning is very superficial and leaves them lacking a strong foundation of knowledge.

Not until they are properly put to the test is it revealed that they: have many gaps in knowledge; have a poor grasp of basic details/skills; don't know the methods/procedures inside and out like they should; have no reliable way to structure information and retrieve it quickly; don't know how to apply ideas and concepts; often waste too much time reinventing the wheel; etc.

A smart person should heed these warning signs and work to correct the N-S imbalance by better integrating the S function into their learning process. When you mentioned "low-level stuff", did you say it with a tone of impatience or disdain (as many Ns would)? If so, it might be revealing a bias against S-related learning.

Unfortunately, in reality, many people also have ego development issues exacerbating their learning problems. For example, some Ns get arrogant because they receive praise or feel rewarded for their bad learning habits. With unearned confidence, they double down on their bad habits. Experiencing multiple failures might push them deeper into denial of their shortcomings. Denial might lead them to stick to situations where they can show off their strengths and avoid situations that would expose their weaknesses.

This behavior reveals that they don't really care about real mastery but only the appearance of it. In the workplace, as long as they can keep weaseling their way into a better position, they can keep telling themselves that they don't have a problem. Having curated a false self-image over many years of being "quick", "intelligent", "insightful", "creative", or being "above mundane tasks", etc, they fear what might happen if they were to take the mask off. I am not saying you have this problem. I only mention it as a common obstacle to be aware of.

If you want to be an effective learner, you have to get rid of your bad learning habits, whatever they are. To really know your stuff seems like the harder path to take (that's why many choose to fake it instead), but the pay off is huge when you're eventually able to handle and adapt to any situation with ease. Personal growth is its own reward. It's important to note that the best learners care about personal growth and understand that humility and curiosity are vital to learning. Humility is necessary for acknowledging the full extent of one's ignorance. Curiosity is necessary for doing what it takes to fill in those gaps. This means arrogance and stubbornness are two big no-nos.

It sounds like, for reasons you should reflect on, you've put the horse before the cart. Learning is a complicated process. It needs to follow a particular sequence in order to maximize intellectual growth. But many people are impatient and want to do higher order tasks without properly mastering lower order tasks first.

For instance, the problem of "application" can be broken down and understood like this:

You don't possess enough foundational knowledge because you didn't put enough effort into memorizing all the important details, ideas, concepts, principles, etc.

You don't have a deep understanding of the subject because you didn't "make it your own" by taking the necessary steps to organize information properly into a comprehensive and coherent structure.

You can't apply ideas well because you don't have detailed knowledge of methods and procedures and/or you haven't put in the many hours necessary to practice and learn from practical mistakes.

There are several possibilities. It's possible that only #3 is the problem. It's possible that #3 is a problem because of #2. It's possible that #3 is a problem because of #2 AND #1. Whatever the problem is, go back and fix it.

The Love-Hate Relationship with Stelliums (Pt. 1) ✨

Guysss pls remember that astrology is holistic and this should be read taking into account your overall chart placements, as well as the planets in your stellium and what sign rules your stellium. TAKE NOTE lol

1st house

❤️: You may be a person who is very driven towards a particular goal, single-minded in behavior and with a sense of determination that is hard to beat. The focus is on self-improvement and is rather internally driven - there can be large amounts of time focused on figuring one’s identity out. You’re not afraid to say things as they are - you’re able to dish out criticism hard but you give credit when its due. You extend the courtesy you receive to others. You may have an innate sense of wisdom that you keep deep within that you don’t let slip unless to extremely close ones but in times of hardship you are a good source of motivation. You always seek to improve yourself and it’s hard (if not impossible) to drag you down because of your strong personality and how you tend to always move on no matter what. I think 1st house stelliums are the embodiment of “don’t look back” and y’all always try to make the best out of every best situation, sort of like seeing the silver lining in everything. And also when crises emerge you’re able to keep a calm head on your shoulders and are good at making snap decisions, which makes you good on your feet!

👹: I don’t think y’all are as self-absorbed as ppl make you out to be but there’s definitely an element of self-centredness such that when you do something, you often consider what is most convenient or productive for you. You might get upset when your plans are disrupted but sometimes do the same to others even though you might be aware of what you’re doing - in that aspect, 1st house stelliums can be hypocritical. For you, there is never enough - you’re never satisfied with anything, be it yourself or for other things so you can seem really unappreciative. Keep in mind that you also tend to force others to agree with you and don’t be so quick to dismiss the other party’s POV no matter how dumb it seems. Remember that there’s always something to learn from other people, no matter their status. You need to work on expressing your appreciation to others in a more genuine manner (altho I know y’all do it in gruff, slightly awkward ways when sincere - kinda cute ngl).

2nd house

❤️: You may be a person who has a strong moral code and has a staunch value system that you won’t deviate from no matter what. Sense of loyalty is usually unbreakable and it can take a lot to truly anger you. You can have a good financial sense and good instincts/foresight that allow you to plan ahead for stability’s sake. More often than not in certain areas you are a master of categorising and structuring things which means that your mind is analytical, critical and (usually) organised. You hate it when people think they know you because you (understandably) know yourself the best - there are many privatised layers of yourself that you prefer to keep... private so yeah it just annoys you when that happens. Y’all are a leader in certain aspects of your life and even though 2nd house stelliums tend to prefer being the right-hand man, your control freak tendencies come out and you end up leading anyway. You become really productive because of the fear of failure - you have crazy high expectations for yourself and expect the same of your closed ones (although ultimately you’ll support them in whatever they do). There is an appreciation for the finer things in life and when it comes to your loved ones you’re not afraid to spoil them hard. 

👹: Be careful not to let this driving need for stability restrict you from spontaneity and following your heart’s desire. There is an inherent inflexibility in your nature; stubbornness can really be your kryptonite. You don’t really take any opportunities that you think might threaten your security which, while giving you a stable fort, can hold you back in your own happiness + prosperity. You might realise that there is a limit to your perspective but really struggle in seeing outside of that perspective mainly because you spend so much time thinking about what matters to you that you’ve become accustomed to your train of thought (altho when you do break it it’s lowkey groundbreaking). The focus on this house is on stability, not only on material wealth, so while you may be reaping in one aspect you might tend to lack on the spiritual or emotional elements of life. You can be very, very controlling and demanding so you might want to tone it down a little if not people might get the wrong impression. People might think of you as judgemental (and you are tbh) but I believe it’s just 2nd house stellium’s way of assessing a person’s character/abilities. 

3rd house

❤️: You may be a person who puts in a lot of effort into various forms of self-expression (not limited to verbal communication but also finding a specific niche such as music, art, writing etc.) Your brain is naturally sharp and inquisitive and you may be able to pick things up very quickly. You might be rather adaptable but are surprisingly stubborn when it comes to your opinion or intellectual capabilities. You might have a dark/dirty sense of humor and because of that you also have a keen ability to see past the societal nuances of propriety and get to the heart/root of whatever a person is saying. You can spend your entire life trying to understand people and why things work the way they work - your brain needs to be stimulated in order for you to feel alive. Passion for you has to be applied in a productive manner - you probably aren’t a person to just take a passion for something as a mere hobby. Rather, you would either apply that passion to one of your existing projects, create a new one or use it as a motivating factor. Your interests are wide and varied, which makes you really well-rounded in certain aspects! 

👹: Many people say y’all are flighty beings and I can certainly see why they would think so. Because of your perceptiveness, you tend to change your narrative whenever you’re speaking to different people, so as to make yourself sound more convincing. In that aspect, you can be quite manipulative. Your ego probably isn’t the smallest either haha - you can tolerate being slighted at some things but if it’s a challenge to one of your passion projects you’ll probably become very upset. You need to stop giving people the hot and cold shoulder all the time and even though you’re quite sociable you tend to flaunt but hide your true thoughts. You have to be more open and honest in your self-expression, and not that idealised, constructed version of yourself you think people will find interesting. I’ve noticed that 3rd house stellium ppl have an obsessive need to “stand out” and make themselves feel unique which, despite all your charms and popularity, might be the reason why you find yourself sometimes so isolated. You’re a perfectionist (although you would deny it) and secretly quite controlling but unlike other stelliums you can manage it better I feel. 

4th house

❤️: There is a pressing insistence regarding relationships in your inner circle - be it your family, closest friends, or your future family. Extended focus on your cultural heritage can also be possible. Deep down, compassion is at your core and you are very protective of your friends in a silent but aggressive way. Having a stable family life is very important to you but I’ve noticed that more often than not, 4th house stelliums have turbulent family relationships. The beauty of 4th house stelliums is their ability to break through whatever toxic relationships they’ve been in and to create families of their own - be it unconventional or not. They are the epitome of “we choose our own families”. Y’all can be very empathetic and rather selfless to the point where you allow yourself to be manipulated (even though you’re aware of it) - but it’s usually for a justifiable reason. You find it easier than most to balance the emotional landscape but there are moments where you need an outlet to express yourself. There can be an obsession/possessiveness over your own culture - you take pride in your roots and become lowkey insulted when people disrespect it (and if you don’t, you somehow nearly always manage to find some other culture to assimilate yourself in). 

👹: Y’all probably get very upset when things don’t go your way but the problem with this stellium is that there is a want to speak out but you choose to bury everything inside instead - giving you a very passive-aggressive and even aloof image. Internally, you guys might think that you are giving off a very soft/giving aura but some people are wary precisely because you are hard to read. You are very, intensely private (rivalling 2nd/7th house tbh) and you have to learn how to share your true thoughts, no bullshit, no suger-coated thoughts with your family and dearest friends even though you are capable of handling yourself. You are independent, ambitious, and people often underestimate you, but you have to let people in first in order for them to know what you’re capable of! Also, idealisation of certain things (eg. a future family life/partner) can be prevalent and you overthink things to the point where sometimes you make yourself miserable. Again, please talk to someone hahaha you don’t have to deal with everything yourself. 

5th house

❤️:  Insecurity runs rampant in any 5th house stellium BUT y’all are quite paradoxical in a sense that you also have a very strong aura of confidence. Sometimes, in crucial moments, you manage to convince yourself and others that you are the most important person in the room haha - literally the epitome of “fake it till you make it”. Still, a deeply rooted kindness is found in 5th house stelliums such that you’re always looking out for the underdog in the room. If you are developed you probably have a strong sense of righteousness which prompts you to look out for people who might be struggling. Y’all are very concerned about your physical appearance and most of the time you like to keep your body in good shape, which draws the attention of people in the room. You likely have an infectious smile (this is just a hunch but I don’t believe 5th house stelliums smile a lot - y’all quirk your lips or smirk but a true smile is rare so when you do... it melts the hearts of people). Everything that you do will have a youthful flavor and you have a healthy appreciation for downtime/self-care so while you might not (contrary to popular belief) be that fond of kids, kids are attracted to you. Oh and actually I think the stronger this stellium is in a person, the shyer the person seems at first impression but inwardly and as time goes by, they become more humorous and dramatic. 

👹: You aren’t exactly manipulative, but you know how to use the power of suggestion (and your charms) to get what you want. If unchecked, it’ll become a habit because to you, it’s an instinctive thing to do and you might not realise you’re hurting other people because of it. You are stubborn and prideful (which isn’t a bad thing sometimes but) you take criticism quite badly such that if a person tries to offer their opinion or goes against your beliefs, you might take it as a personal attack. You have a fear of being restrained/constricted (like 9th house) so you’re actually quite aggressive to those who you perceive to be a threat to your authority. You can also experience extreme mood swings (from crazy happy/hyper to melancholic in a snap) and when you do you expect people to give you attention. But you are hypocritical in this aspect because you yourself can be quite insensitive to other people’s feelings, or you brush them off if you’re not “in the mood”. 

6th house

❤️: You are most probably quite an organised person, not in a tidy way (although you could be) but in matters of life there’s an insistence on order and structure. The way you think can be very logical - you are able to think concisely and connect the dots in a quick manner and logic is probably prevalent in everything you do. However, in contrast to this pragmatic behavior, you are deeply caring and you won’t think twice to give up something if a loved one needs it. You are very disciplined in certain aspects of life and you are able to maintain a consistent effort in everything that you do. You’re probably someone who finds joy in small things and although you have high standards, it doesn’t take much to make you happy, as long as it’s genuine. You can be a perfectionist and really quite meticulous in your work which makes you someone who is detail-orientated. You give a lot of yourself to other people and most of the time you don’t expect anything in return, which is one of the great things about 6th house stelliums. You take effort into maintaining your physical health and you mighttt be a fitness freak or someone who keeps track of their diet really carefully. It’s likely that you encourage other people to follow your lifestyle and generally, you exert a sort of mellow influence around other people that makes them want to be better. 

👹: There’s a tendency for 6th house stelliums to fall into pessimism, precisely because of your pragmatic nature. Y’all may say that you’re being “realistic” but in actuality it does dampen the spirits of some people. You can also become really unreasonable and inflexible once you’ve made up your mind on something and that makes you a bit narrow minded because you simply refuse to listen to other people’s POV. This can also cause tunnel vision which can really limit your full potential and I think it’s something worth spending your time working on. When pushed into a corner or feeling insecure, y’all might try to cover it up by being condescending or giving the cold shoulder. There’s also a risk of being overly reliant on a schedule/structure and hence, cautiousness when it comes to being spontaneous or embracing something foreign. Because of your affinity towards maintaining health, your hypochondriac tendencies may be exacerbated and you need to try to lessen your over-worrying behaviour haha. Although you never dish out something you can’t receive (eg. high expectations - you’re truly your worst critic), your demanding tone can really make others cautious of you.

OVERALL, I strongly believe that the way to embrace your stelliums isn’t to reject or force yourself to change the values they represent, but rather taking those eccentricities and moulding it into something more precious and beneficial to yourself. It has to be done with a thorough understanding of yourself; with patience. 

-C

Ego is the enemy by Ryan Holiday

(1) Demosthenes once said that virtue begins with understanding and is fulfilled by courage. We must begin by seeing ourselves and the world in a new way for the first time. Then we must fight to be different and fight to stay different—that’s the hard part. I’m not saying you should repress or crush every ounce of ego in your life—or that doing so is even possible. These are just reminders, moral stories to encourage our better impulses.

(2) The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool- RICHARD FEYNMAN

(3) If ego is the voice that tells us we’re better than we really are, we can say ego inhibits true success by preventing a direct and honest connection to the world around us. One of the early members of Alcoholics Anonymous defined ego as “a conscious separation from.” From what? Everything.

(4) The ways this separation manifests itself negatively are immense: We can’t work with other people if we’ve put up walls. We can’t improve the world if we don’t understand it or ourselves. We can’t take or receive feedback if we are incapable of or uninterested in hearing from outside sources. We can’t recognize opportunities—or create them—if instead of seeing what is in front of us, we live inside our own fantasy. Without an accurate accounting of our own abilities compared to others, what we have is not confidence but delusion. How are we supposed to reach, motivate, or lead other people if we can’t relate to their needs—because we’ve lost touch with our own?

(5) The performance artist Marina Abramović puts it directly: “If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.”

(6) Just one thing keeps ego around—comfort. Pursuing great work—whether it is in sports or art or business—is often terrifying. Ego soothes that fear. It’s a salve to that insecurity. Replacing the rational and aware parts of our psyche with bluster and self-absorption, ego tells us what we want to hear, when we want to hear it.

But it is a short-term fix with a long-term consequence.

(7) The aim of that structure is simple: to help you suppress ego early before bad habits take hold, to replace the temptations of ego with humility and discipline when we experience success, and to cultivate strength and fortitude so that when fate turns against you, you’re not wrecked by failure. In short, it will help us be:

* Humble in our aspirations

* Gracious in our success

* Resilient in our failures

(8) The Quaker William Penn observed, “Buildings that lie so exposed to the weather need a good foundation.”

(9) When we remove ego, we’re left with what is real. What replaces ego is humility, yes—but rock-hard humility and confidence. Whereas ego is artificial, this type of confidence can hold weight. Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. Ego is self-anointed, its swagger is artifice. One is girding yourself, the other gaslighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous.

(10) Isocrates - “Practice self-control,” he said, warning Demonicus not to fall under the sway of “temper, pleasure, and pain.” And “abhor flatterers as you would deceivers; for both, if trusted, injure those who trust them.” “Be affable in your relations with those who approach you, and never haughty; for the pride of the arrogant even slaves can hardly endure” and “Be slow in deliberation, but be prompt to carry out your resolves” and that the “best thing which we have in ourselves is good judgment.” Constantly train your intellect, he told him, “for the greatest thing in the smallest compass is a sound mind in a human body.”

Shakespeare

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!

Where Isocrates and Shakespeare wished us to be self-contained, self-motivated, and ruled by principle, most of us have been trained to do the opposite. Our cultural values almost try to make us dependent on validation, entitled, and ruled by our emotions. For a generation, parents and teachers have focused on building up everyone’s self-esteem. From there, the themes of our gurus and public figures have been almost exclusively aimed at inspiring, encouraging, and assuring us that we can do whatever we set our minds to. In reality, this makes us weak.

(11) In this phase, you must practice seeing yourself with a little distance, cultivating the ability to get out of your own head. Detachment is a sort of natural ego antidote. It’s easy to be emotionally invested and infatuated with your own work. Any and every narcissist can do that. What is rare is not raw talent, skill, or even confidence, but humility, diligence, and self-awareness.

(12) For your work to have truth in it, it must come from truth. If you want to be more than a flash in the pan, you must be prepared to focus on the long term.

It’s a temptation that exists for everyone—for talk and hype to replace action.

(13) Doing great work is a struggle. It’s draining, it’s demoralizing, it’s frightening—not always, but it can feel that way when we’re deep in the middle of it. We talk to fill the void and the uncertainty.

(14) “A man is worked upon by what he works on,” Frederick Douglass once said. He would know. He’d been a slave, and he saw what it did to everyone involved, including the slaveholders themselves. Once a free man, he saw that the choices people made, about their careers and their lives, had the same effect. What you choose to do with your time and what you choose to do for money works on you. The egocentric path requires, as Boyd knew, many compromises.

(15) To become great and to stay great, they must all know what came before, what is going on now, and what comes next. They must internalize the fundamentals of their domain and what surrounds them, without ossifying or becoming stuck in time.

In our endeavors, we will face complex problems, often in situations we’ve never faced before. Opportunities are not usually deep, virgin pools that require courage and boldness to dive into, but instead are obscured, dusted over, blocked by various forms of resistance. What is really called for in these circumstances is clarity, deliberateness, and methodological determination.

(16) Passion typically masks a weakness. Its breathlessness and impetuousness and franticness are poor substitutes for discipline, for mastery, for strength and purpose and perseverance.

(17) “Whom the gods wish to destroy,” Cyril Connolly famously said, “they first call promising.”

(18) Only you know the race you’re running. That is, unless your ego decides the only way you have value is if you’re better than, have more than, everyone everywhere. More urgently, each one of us has a unique potential and purpose; that means that we’re the only ones who can evaluate and set the terms of our lives. Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose.

(19) According to Seneca, the Greek word euthymia is one we should think of often: it is the sense of our own path and how to stay on it without getting distracted by all the others that intersect it. In other words, it’s not about beating the other guy. It’s not about having more than the others. It’s about being what you are, and being as good as possible at it, without succumbing to all the things that draw you away from it. It’s about going where you set out to go. About accomplishing the most that you’re capable of in what you choose. That’s it. No more and no less. (By the way, euthymia means “tranquillity” in English.)

(20) It is not enough to have great qualities; we should also have the management of them.

—LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

(21) Feel unprotected against the elements or forces or surroundings. Remind yourself how pointless it is to rage and fight and try to one-up those around you. Go and put yourself in touch with the infinite, and end your conscious separation from the world. Reconcile yourself a bit better with the realities of life. Realize how much came before you, and how only wisps of it remain.

(22) Let the feeling carry you as long as you can. Then when you start to feel better or bigger than, go and do it again.

(23) The historian Shelby Foote observed that “power doesn’t so much corrupt; that’s too simple. It fragments, closes options, mesmerizes.” That’s what ego does. It clouds the mind precisely when it needs to be clear. Sobriety is a counterbalance, a hangover cure—or better, a prevention method.

(24) As Plutarch finely expressed, “The future bears down upon each one of us with all the hazards of the unknown.” The only way out is through.

(25) According to Greene, there are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second. Every moment of failure, every moment or situation that we did not deliberately choose or control, presents this choice: Alive time. Dead time.

That’s what so many of us do when we fail or get ourselves into trouble. Lacking the ability to examine ourselves, we reinvest our energy into exactly the patterns of behavior that caused our problems to begin with.

In life, we all get stuck with dead time. Its occurrence isn’t in our control. Its use, on the other hand, is.

(26) As Booker T. Washington most famously put it, “Cast down your bucket where you are.” Make use of what’s around you. Don’t let stubbornness make a bad situation worse.

(27) A dangerous attitude because when someone works on a project—whether it’s a book or a business or otherwise—at a certain point, that thing leaves their hands and enters the realm of the world. It is judged, received, and acted on by other people. It stops being something he controls and it depends on them.

(28) There was an unusual encounter between Alexander the Great and the famous Cynic philosopher Diogenes. Allegedly, Alexander approached Diogenes, who was lying down, enjoying the summer air, and stood over him and asked what he, the most powerful man in the world, might be able to do for this notoriously poor man. Diogenes could have asked for anything. What he requested was epic: “Stop blocking my sun.” Even two thousand years later we can feel exactly where in the solar plexus that must have hit Alexander, a man who always wanted to prove how important he was. As the author Robert Louis Stevenson later observed about this meeting, “It is a sore thing to have labored along and scaled arduous hilltops, and when all is done, find humanity indifferent to your achievement.”

(29) This is why we can’t let externals determine whether something was worth it or not. It’s on us.The world is, after all, indifferent to what we humans “want.” If we persist in wanting, in needing, we are simply setting ourselves up for resentment or worse. Doing the work is enough.

(30) Duris dura franguntur. Hard things are broken by hard things.

The bigger the ego the harder the fall.

(31) Hemingway had his own rock-bottom realizations as a young man. The understanding he took from them is expressed timelessly in his book A Farewell to Arms. He wrote, “The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills.”

(32) The world can show you the truth, but no one can force you to accept it.

(33) “Everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed,” reads John 3:20.

(34) In the end, the only way you can appreciate your progress is to stand on the edge of the hole you dug for yourself, look down inside it, and smile fondly at the bloody claw prints that marked your journey up the walls.

(35) It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character.

—MARCUS AURELIUS

(36) The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in our work, we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person. It’s a fear of taking responsibility, of admitting that we might have messed up. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. And so we throw good money and good life after bad and end up making everything so much worse.

(37) Ego kills what we love. Sometimes, it comes close to killing us too.

(38) “Act with fortitude and honor,” he wrote to a distraught friend in serious financial and legal trouble of the man’s own making. “If you cannot reasonably hope for a favorable extrication, do not plunge deeper. Have the courage to make a full stop.” - Alexander Hamilton

(39) Because you will lose in life. It’s a fact. A doctor has to call time of death at some point. They just do.

Ego says we’re the immovable object, the unstoppable force. This delusion causes the problems. It meets failure and adversity with rule breaking—betting everything on some crazy scheme; doubling down on behind-the-scenes machinations or unlikely Hail Marys—even though that’s what got you to this pain point in the first place.

(40) “He who fears death will never do anything worthy of a living man,” Seneca once said. Alter that: He who will do anything to avoid failure will almost certainly do something worthy of a failure.

The only real failure is abandoning your principles. Killing what you love because you can’t bear to part from it is selfish and stupid. If your reputation can’t absorb a few blows, it wasn’t worth anything in the first place.

(41) And why should we feel anger at the world?

As if the world would notice!

—EURIPIDES

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

NAME : Severus Snape RELATIONSHIP TO THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX : Potential Informant AGE / BIRTHDATE : 19 Years Old / born 9 January 1960 + birth time up to player ZODIAC SIGN : Capricorn ( sun ), moon + rising signs up to player EDUCATION : Hogwarts Graduate ( Slytherin House ) BLOOD STATUS : Halfblood

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

✧     Gabriel McKinnon ( platonic ) ✧     Sirius Black ( antagonistic ) ✧     Peter Pettigrew ( player’s choice )

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐍.

On the Hogwarts ground, near the Whomping Willow.  He is currently missing following the Battle of Hogwarts.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 : 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍.

PLAYER : Tara FACECLAIM : Rocco Fasano URL : @scvcrvssnape

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: ABUSE, BLOOD SUPREMACY

ZERO / RISING. * How is your character perceived by others?  What mask do they wear, and is there more than one?

Two key principles seem to guide Severus Snape: logic and self-interest.

He assumes the air of someone unemotional and overwhelmingly detached (very rarely does he unwillingly allow someone to get under his skin and disturb the veneer that’s taken years of practice to cultivate). He’s the embodiment of silent pragmatism, often found observing from the shadow’s edge rather than jumping into the action himself. Some would call this cowardice, but he chooses to call it tactical intelligence.

Everyone knows that it’s impossible to change his mind once he convinces himself of something. The only opinion he trusts anymore is his own.

Others always viewed him as something rotten and inferior (and maybe he is). But he meets such judgments with frigid hatred or coldhearted indifference, depending on the day. After all, supposedly ice can burn just as sharply as fire.

ONE / THE SUN. * Choose one to explore : what about their personality, general preferences, sense of self / ego, or fundamental traits attracted you to them?

Severus Snape is a character that always captivates me because he’s such a fundamentally terrible person as an adult. And like all humans, he had the opportunity to make choices over the course of his life that could have led him down a separate (and less terrible) path, but he specifically chose not to let anything alter his trajectory.

I do have sympathy for Severus in that he was treated horrifically by so many people during the course of his childhood. He was a victim of classism, and of judging a book based on its cover, and of mob mentality bullying, and of domestic abuse from his father. But. He also chose to respond to that mistreatment with more, and with displaced, hatred and retaliation. He made the active decision to side with the Death Eaters not because he wholly agreed with them ideologically, but because they were the only people who seemed to see his potential value. He steeps himself in defense mechanisms that only make matters worse in most cases. He’s brilliant, but he is immensely stubborn to a fault. It’s his shady sense of morality (a morality which is mostly based on whatever he thinks is most convenient for him at the time) that interests me.

The other complicated thing about Severus is that he IS, weirdly, self-aware, but he lacks willingness to take responsibility. Looking back on his actions, he can’t escape blaming (and subsequently hating) himself— so he forcefully places the blame on others instead. He’s made poor choices, and he knows it, but he also thinks that he can blame those choices on the previous actions of other people (it’s his mindset that everyone expected him to turn out terribly, so is how he’s turned out actually a surprise to anyone?). This cycle hasn’t yet been broken.

A note about Capricorn Suns: “This is a sign that is anything but shallow and superficial; beneath the Capricorn’s cool, reserved and calculating exterior lies a profound resource of emotional strength, psychic resilience and earthy endurance. The recognisable character traits of the sign reveal compulsion, dedication and perseverance in its aims and interests. Capricorns may not impress others by their motivation but neither do they seek the easy approval or widespread attention of others. Their ambitions - in relationships, career and personal growth - are rooted in an ‘inner’ motivation that runs too deep to be easily shaken. Their strengths (and their faults) are based upon the qualities of stamina, fortitude, staying power and survival.”

It’s Severus’ fortitude and dedication that have always been his strengths, though misdirected. Could he be redeemable if his qualities were redirected? What would the stakes have to look like in order for him to change his mindset? What would happen if the options presented to him were different? I’m interested to see how those possibilities might turn out.

TWO / THE MOON. * Which color would you associate most strongly with them and the emotions that dominate them?  Describe however you’d like.

DARK RED. The soft, comforting leather bindings on the books that line his bookshelf. The well-worn, threadbare rug that provides some minimal warmth from the cold wooden floorboards underfoot. Bright red hatred and resentment, dulled over time with the black tint of bitterness and exhaustion. The dark, wet blood he knows must be on his hands (or will be, before long).  

THREE / MERCURY. * What is this character’s area of expertise? Where do they excel?

Severus’ careful sense of precision has served him well; hyper-focused, he excels in attention to detail and in taking the painstaking time necessary to complete tasks to satisfaction. But that doesn’t mean he’s always conservative, especially with magic. He’s willing to experiment and think outside the box, which is why his spell-creations are a secret advantage of his.

On a social level, although he’s clearly never been a people-person, Severus has cultivated the appearance of an even-headed observer. In most cases nowadays, he’ll listen before he reacts, and he’ll think (and sometimes overthink) before he speaks. He rarely reveals his emotions on his face, either; these combined abilities have proven to be valuable cooperative skills.

12, 41, 42

& MORE CHARACTER BUILDING | ACCEPTING.

How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

even though Riven can’t read very well & lacks a proper education ( mainly being self-taught mixed with some elementary subjects from her time in the military ), i wouldn’t write her off as “dumb” by any means. her intelligence shines in how adaptable she shows herself to be; for example, during her little ‘trips’ to the downtown, she’d overhear middle class merchants and see their speech as more ‘refined’, so she’d mimic it. if she didn’t understand a word, she’d parse its context, or dig through dictionaries and practice saying it until it was right.

 the result is a surprisingly large vocabulary with proper, formal pronunciations - you will rarely catch Riven using slang. her intellect is not hampered by education by any means.

Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

i’d say somewhat. she doesn’t shy away from her strengths, but i think her glaring weakness is - ironically - her inability to admit her weaknesses. she doesn’t think she’s stubborn, goddamn it, she’s right. she isn’t short-tempered, she’s passionate !   i think that’s just in part because of her disability ( somebody w/ ADHD is notorious for having weaker self-insight ), but the main culprit is Riven’s ego. time in exile tempered her, but never doused her completely - it take somebody she sees as wise, or somebody she trusts, to really point out those chinks in her armor and get her to adjust her worldview.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

it depends on the verse, but de facto, Riven want\s to reform Noxus.  she wants revolution and she wants it ardently, which is why she’s actually showing self - restraint by crossing her t’s and dotting her i’s. she’s making plans, meeting allies, getting a lay for the land - despite her fervent desire, she’s moving the pieces on her board in a collected manner. Riven will do whatever she sees fit to achieve it, strangling out her every option until she’s got her hands wrapped around its neck.

( ‘sacrifices must be made.’ ) 

CONGRATULATIONS, VICTORIA!

You have been accepted to play the role of GWENDOLYN ARMSTRONG with the faceclaim of ZOE KRAVITZ. Please create your account and send it to the main in the next 24 hours. I am swept off my feet by your application, although this time, once again, I had to choose between two marvelous ones. Yet, the way you know Gwen’s skin and what a piece of art you have turned this into captivated me and I know I couldn’t possibly see anybody else writing this character now that I have read your application. I want to read your writing forever, if possible, because you’re no Medusa, Euryale or Stheno, but a siren trying to lure people to their deaths with a breathtaking choice of words and an impressive depth that you have offered Gwendolyn. Thank you for giving me a spectacular reason to stay up all night and I already know it is going to be an honor writing with you. Based on the description of every Quarrel Club member at the end of the para sample, I would have given you any of those characters; but instead, have the queen. She’s yours.

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name and pronouns: Victoria, Vee, V for Vagina, she/her … sheeeet I don’t care, I’m just excited for a group like this to come along, a group that has pumped me up to be in the RP world again!

Age: Quarter century

Time-zone: PST

Activity level: My life is currently a clusterfuck, but a clusterfuck that is in desperate need of distraction and creative outlet. The only thing keeping me away from the interwebs is a part-time job and the graduate school application process. Sooo… I don’t know numerically out of 10? 6? 7? I never know how to answer this part - lets just say I spend more time procrastinating online than I should.

Triggers: N/A

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION

Desired character: I instantly connected with Gwendolyn the moment I read her bio. I’ve always had the tendency to be drawn to troubled, complex, introverted men - obviously, Gwendolyn is the opposite of all of the above, which shocked me when it came to how drawn I was to her as a character. It became quite obvious why she felts so familiar after reading her biography and her circumstances a few times through – she is the version of myself that I always wished to be but never had the balls to go through with in college. As I sit here and finish out writing this application, I realize just how much of a joy it has been simply to hash out my own feelings in an introspective way through this character. For me being a year out of college and looking back on my own experience, I recognize that her extreme black and white views on female/male dynamics and radical feminism are so familiar due to a lack of experience in the real world. I know I can play this character so well because I understand exactly what motivates her whilst also having the hindsight to understand why her extreme views will be her downfall if she doesn’t learn to compromise her brilliance. It’s so easy to see the dichotomy of men vs. women in the small bubble that is the college experience, but to be able to play it out with the self-righteousness that Gwen has for her cause, not to mention her ability to back it up with hours of research and intelligent debates, is an opportunity that I would be far too excited about!

Gender and pronouns of the character: She/Her

Changes: If it works, I have used Zoe Kravitz as my muse for this character. When it comes down to it, the writing of the character is far more important than the face but I honestly could not get her badass, renegade essence out of my mind when I was typing out her app.

I was also thinking Naya Rivera as back up #2, and then Eiza Gonzalez if you don’t see either of the other gals meshing with your vision of the RP.

Traits:

           + Charismatic, Principled, Loyal, Contemplative, Ambitious

           -  Sanctimonious, Arrogant, Fanatical, Vindictive, Stubborn

Extras:

Gwendolyn is following the History and Politics course as her major of choice. A natural fit, her aims to alter the prevailing, patriarchic gender dynamic extend much further than simply Oxford. She firmly believes that hidden in history are stories of matriarchies that have been purposely buried by the predominance of male historians. Determined to pair the wisdom and lessons of the past with a future game plan to get into politics, she knows to make a difference globally, you must know and analyze the cycles of history. Gwen is a news junkie, her cell constantly pinging with the latest updates stemming from hundreds of diverse news sources. She subscribes to a plethora of sources, never wanting to fall into the trap of an echo chamber and finding sick joy in reading viewpoints she disagrees with so she can shred the arguments apart with gusto.

Gwen is constantly challenging the syllabus and her professors for not having enough diverse content (i.e female and P.O.C authors) – much to the annoyance of her classmates. She will consistently ramble on in debate and find ways to weave in a complaint even in the most simple of question-answer class discussion. It’s gotten to the point where she has been kicked out of a class for being too confrontational.  But don’t think that’s stopped her – she now stages her formal complaints in the form of unassigned essays that she will turn into her professors detailing the long list of her objections to the proposed subject matter. She knows its drives everyone crazy, but she feels she’s doing a service to them all – it’s a well researched fact that diverse classrooms paired with varying points of view in reading material leads to the most productive learning environment, a talking point she will gladly back up with a bibliography of sources that she knows by heart.

A trait about Gwendolyn that no one would ever realize is her tendency to be exhausted by her own ambitions. Although she insists on being the loudest in a group of people, she is most comfortable when she is at one with her mind, challenging it with complex novels are articles, or if she’s lucky, finding another like-minded individual who is interested in tearing idea to shreds just for the interest of mental sparring. Although she is active in the social scene out of necessity, it’s not her goal in any way to be the life of the party unless it’s in the interest of bringing more notoriety to the Quarrel Club.

Personality Type: The Debater (ENTP)

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ’crack-pot’ than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.” – Thomas J Watson

Taking a certain pleasure in being the underdog, Debaters enjoy the mental exercise found in questioning the prevailing mode of thought.

Treating others as they’d be treated, Debaters have little tolerance for being coddled, and dislike when people beat around the bush, especially when asking a favor.

I also have an inspo blog I’ve been using for her, the account that I applied with. It contains general quotes, people of interest, and things that I think either define Gwen as a person or better explains what she cares about. Please consider when reading the app: http://cooperxmathis.tumblr.com/

PARA SAMPLE

Everybody knows the story of Medusa, that she was a petrifying woman to be reckoned with. That her name loosely translated to Queen. That she was so terrifying that one glance into her steely eyes would turn her victim to stone. Only some people know that she hadn’t always been a hideous monster. That she had been one of the most beautiful and devoted servants of Athena, and although many men sought to marry her, she fell for Poseidon. Those with even the slightest of Greek mythology knowledge can recall that Medusa was ultimately weak and succumbed to the mortal men who hunted her down. She became a famous symbol for another man’s strength. Perseus paraded her defeat on his shield as a badge of honor – another woman down, another head on a platter, another female used as an ingredient in a trumped up legend for whatever man needed an ego boost. But there is a much more interesting story behind Medusa, a mere-mortal who squandered her time on hope and regrets, always fantasizing about returning to her mortal life of worshipping another whilst she herself was originally worshiped for the most dull of female qualities – beauty and purity.

Of course Medusa became one of the most famous female villains in Greek mythology – she was a fantastic tale of an innocent girl who lost her chastity and transformed into a seductive woman whose power was to great and finally put in her place by a cliché male hero. Male historians eat that shit up, happy to pass on a tale of a woman who got what was coming to her. The real cherry on top of this sexist shit pie, the little detail that your grade school history class always leaves out, was that the female Goddess, Athena, transformed Medusa into a monster. That in the original myth, Poseidon raped her in Athena’s temple, and out of jealous spite, Athena turned her into a monster, transforming each of her satin locks into a snake. That small detail is always left out of grade-school mythology week, probably to avoid harnessing the awareness of girl-on-girl on crime and victim blaming in young impressionable teen women. Can’t let them catch on too quick; when second class citizens are divided the patriarchy thrive – divide & conquer.  

Alas, Medusa was essentially victim-blamed after being raped by Poseidon – a sick twist that Gwen was all too happy to see her history teacher squirm over when she pleasantly brought it to light in her freshman mythology class. Gwen learned early on that if she wanted to learn relevant history outside of the ‘triumphs’ of what rich white dudes did for the benefit of other rich white dudes, she would have to dig for herself. For buried within the legend of Medusa, Queen of the Gorgons, there are two much more worthy recipients of the title, two older, immortal sisters – Stheno and Euryale. It’s no surprise that these so-called villains soon became heroes in Gwen’s mind.

The younger of the two sisters, Euryale, was the calm before the storm. Just as vicious as the others, but with a completely different approach, luring her victims in with a stillness and calming peace that would give no warning to their fate. Her eyes described as still pools of violet that tranquilized all those who looked upon them, blessing them with a feeling of control over a hectic universe, the ultimate tease.  Giving no warning for the immediate havoc that was about to be released, they would lose all desire to retaliate. Hypnotized by her presence, they would remain blissfully still until the last moment, relishing in the moment even as she sank her fangs through flesh and tore skin from bone.

Then there was Stheno, her muse, her identity, the fiercest of the three, known to be the most murderous of the Gorgon sisters, having killed more men then both of her sisters combined.  Her approach was on a complete different side of the spectrum, her eyes explosive with a fierce reminiscent of Hades’ fire. No hypnotic placidity could be found within them. She yearned for the indulgence of human flesh, indulged in the taste of warm blood. No attraction on earth is as tempting as that of a powerful force - and none came more powerful as Stheno’s presence. A temper as violent as no other on this earth or in any other existence - she was the unstoppable force that brought a swift and total destruction.

Gwen was going to rewrite Oxford history, her legacy would be destroying the façade that the Riot Club had created, revealing them for the petulant children they are, little boys creating messes for play and throwing money to clean them up. This was her pet project, her practice round before she was unleashed onto the real world. A smaller, test version of how the rest of the world works, where rich men create problems that affect the rest of us and then jack each other off for fixing the mess they had created in the first place.  She somewhat knew this was child’s play compared to raiding and destroying the ultimate boys clubs outside of Oxford, but hey, if she could tear down a centuries old tradition and replace it with a far superior female legacy within a four year span, she would finally prove to herself that she was the unstoppable force of nature that Stheno had inspired her to be.

She knew it was crucial to pick the right women, that this very first group of ten girls would be everything as they would be setting the tone for centuries to come. One of her best qualities had always been her ability to see past the bullshit of girl-on-girl crime. She never bought into the idea that in order to move up in the world she had to put other women down. It was a fact that that very notion is what has kept women as powerless for millennia, and she was determined to prove that if she brought ten of the best and brightest together, that claws would not come out, at least, not against eachother. However, her place as the leader of the group is something she would never sacrifice. Not that she is buying into an idea that she is better than any of the other women, but positive that only she has the pure, clear-cut vision of boosting them all up for the better; not to mention she hadn’t planned on being exactly forthcoming on her actual motives. The appeal of the Quarrel club was first and foremost an illusion that she was presenting. That it was something of a petty, social badge of honor that would include frivolous spending, ludicrous parties, and a bit of fun competition with the most ‘desirable’ men on campus. Little would her recruits know that she was hand picking them for their potential. She would take these confused women and show them what the world really could look like if they only had the power, if they only had the desire to restore the natural order of the world where women were destined to lead. It would be a slow process, she knew, she would have to lure them in, which would be easy. The hard part would be making them see how pointless the perks and values of the Riot Club were and showing them that true satisfaction will come from tearing down the men and everything they stand for, not just downing shots and fucking around with Oxford’s golden boys.

After months of careful planning, she had nine pristine envelopes in hand, their thick cardstock stamped with wax seal, the fierce stare of the Gorgon head piercing through the deep red. A satisfied smirk wove its way across Gwen’s lips, her eyes lighting up as she ran her fingers across the raised edges of the insignia. She knew the women would all assume it was Medusa, probably never even hearing of Stheno, but soon she was to teach them the buried history of the much stronger women that existed in not only fabled myths, but the real world as well. Soon, they too would be the legends used to inspire leagues of women to write their own history, to never be forgotten by the bias of time told through the eyes of men. The future will be rewritten and the pen will be held by f e m a l e s. Flipping over each envelope, she dipped her vintage, sterling silver pen into ink and began to write out each woman’s name.

L A U R E N    H A S T I N G S -  A crucial member for a multitude of reasons. The most obvious, everyone not only knew Lauren, but also idolized her. She glided across campus with an ease and poise that was unseen in most modern women, she epitomized the essence of old movie stars. Although Gwen in no way embodied these qualities, nor would she ever want to, she still understood the effect that this old-fashioned femininity had on the masses. Frankly, she found Lauren to be an extremely dull Betty Draper-esque robot, but if there was one thing that Gwendolyn respected it was discipline, a quality that Lauren certainly exuded with her picture perfect image. She knew that nobody could truly be that flawless, but whatever Lauren was hiding, the façade that followed her had never cracked, no scandal had ever erupted - an amazing success in Gwen’s eyes. In her mind, Lauren could be the Euryale to her Stheno. That level of control and composure was something she admired and could learn from. More importantly though, was Lauren’s connection to Jamie Heather. Her smile faltered. She would never admit to herself how much of a catalyst he had been in creating the woman she had become; that he was the very reason why the Quarrel Club would exist in the first place. No, Gwen quickly shook the beautiful face from her mind, refusing to let him run away with her thoughts once again - he doesn’t deserve that much credit.  Moving on, she poised her pen to the next ivory envelope in the stack.

E L I Z A B E T H    P E M B E R L Y  – Gwen can’t exactly put her finger on what draws her to Elizabeth, but there is an infectious energy that surrounds the girl wherever she goes. Gwen knows that she is indulgent and a bit of a narcissist, but fuck it, what man doesn’t get away with the same qualities and still labeled a charming cassanova? Elizabeth has a way about her that makes everyone desperate to please, a very distinct feminine essence that is subtle but inevitably intoxicating. Better to have that on her side, to harness that sort of brilliant charismatic energy and exploit it for her own purpose than to let Elizabeth waste away her own potential. She has a power that makes people do whatever she wants without asking them, for motivations that they don’t even understand but desperately urge to simply satisfy her.

V I C T O R I A   D E  T E R R E R O S Another choice that although overwhelmingly dissimilar to herself, came with a connection to the Riot club paired with the bonus of an old family name. Although Lauren had the essence of a celebrity, Victoria actually was one. Not that Gwendolyn was one to give a shit about tabloid fodder. There were far too many important events and people in the world to waste time on the likes of People magazine or throwing meaningless likes to Instagram ‘stars’ desperate for validation from thousands of strangers. No, she was not one to be starstruck by celebrity influence, but she couldn’t deny that in today’s times, Victoria’s tabloid status could be of use. If she could have an early influence on the young royal, there’s a chance that she could make sure that Victoria didn’t become another pretty face simply peddling Vitamix or whatever bullshit beauty product down the throats of millennial lemmings glued to their phone screens. Plus, Gwen’s obsessions with history meant that an old, royal family name couldn’t help but pique her interest. Package that in with a brother in the Riot Club and Victoria was a given.  

A R I A   B E L L E F O N T E – She could never put her finger on exactly what drew her to Aria, but she in some ways has always envied her. Her effortless charm and impassivity are qualities that Gwen knows she could never enjoy but admires greatly. A woman like Aria is crucial to the group, a perfect example of the type of women who should be, no – will be – running the world. Aria never smiles to please, never wastes her time nor believes that her appearance is anything but an asterisk to her entire being, never felt the need to parade whatever it is her parents do to enable her to afford attending such a prestigious university. Aria simply exists, in complete authenticity; a woman who has never tried, let alone needed, to impress anyone yet has a bounty of influence at her fingertips. The only negative that Gwen can assess is the utter lack of appreciation that Aria has for her own influence. She seems completely satisfied to drift among their entitled peers with little motivation to do anything with her gifts. Pressing her silver pen as she dotted the I of Aria’s name, Gwen was sure she could inspire the girl to follow through with her full potential.

A L E X A N D R A   R O S S E S S E N – Whispers could be heard all over campus of the brilliant young woman who at only sixteen had earned early admission to Oxford. Whispers turned into full blown shouts as soon as everyone realized such a brilliant mind came packaged in a red-haired, statuesque beauty. She and Alexandra had a class together where Gwen got to witness the full blown arrogance of the child genius, a quality that turned the rest of the class off but Gwen absolutely adored. At such a young age Alexandra had the confidence that most women never find after years of soul-searching and worthless self-help guides. Alexandra had a quick wit and didn’t abstain from questioning authority, a quality Gwen quickly picked up on after witnessing her challenge many of the key points in several lectures. Not to mention the rumors that she was behind the gossip maven Ace, a serious advantage that Gwen knew if she could harness for the benefit of the Quarell Club could be a crucial cog in the warhead she was creating against the Riot Club. After all, everyone knows to win a war people need to believe the rookies have a fighting chance; it brings morale up among underestimated troops and breeds allegiance in new acquaintances determined to prove themselves. And in the court of public opinion, Ace could weave a narrative of success and manipulate gossip during the inevitable hiccups that come with starting such an exclusive group.

A R A B E L L A   W I N D S O R – Everyone knows about Arabella Windsor and her midnight escapades. Judgments surrounding her loose reputation never cease and what Gwen adores is the fact that she seems to revel in them. Gwen abhors the double standard that tells women they must be as beautiful and sexually desirable as humanly possible but once they take control of said sexuality and use it for their own pleasure are labeled slut and presumably undesirable, a catch twenty-two that would be amusing if it wasn’t so prevalent and capable of destroying a woman’s self worth. Female sexuality has been the number one weapon manipulated by men to keep women in their place since the dawn of time. That much is most obvious even now when you look at every government funded female health legislation dictated by literal (and figurative) dicks with not one woman in sight to speak for her own body.  The key to the male ego is his ability to womanize, to show he’s the big man on campus by tricking women into his bed and then ignoring their very existence the next day as a power play. Gwen isn’t sure if Arabella knows just how much of a social renegade she is just by simply sleeping with as many men as she pleases without guilt, but she is determined to take that unabashed female sexual prowess and harness it into more meaningful pursuits. She knows there is a bit of risk involved, seeing as many of Arabella’s conquests are men of the Riot Club, but with the right amount of loyalty to the Quarell club instilled, Arabella’s sexuality could be used as a weapon. After all, it’s a well-known cliché that a man is most weak with his trousers around his ankles.

C O R D E L I A   M C Q U E E N – Cordelia attracts the gaze and curiosity of many, not only because of her world-famous last name, but because of the mysterious way in which she carries herself. She is a walking oxymoron – charismatic yet unforthcoming with the few words she speaks at all, a wallflower in theory and yet impossible to ignore. She is the type of girl that you always want to know more about but refuses to share what she doesn’t meticulously allow to be public. Gwen was determined to have her be a member of the club the moment she saw her. Her effortless appeal and unwavering mysterious persona perplexes many, Gwen herself falling under the spell. She isn’t sure what exactly the girl can bring to the club, but the magnetism she exudes is sure to be harboring an untapped potential that Gwen could use to the club’s advantage. Plus, if Gwen is honest with herself, the connection Cordelia holds to high-fashion royalty adds an essence of exclusivity and publicity that Gwen is just shallow enough to take advantage of.

C H A R L O T T E   Z E R I L L I – With a twin in the riot club, Gwen knew that Charlotte would be a risky choice that could pan out to be a fountain of knowledge into the inner-workings of the Riot Club or backfire in a nuclear fashion if she couldn’t harness her loyalty to fall into step with the Quarrel club. Gwen had a feeling that Charlotte had always been the brilliant one out of the Zerelli twins, that she had been living in her brother’s shadow and was looking for an opportunity to stretch her legs in a role of influence. With the right coaxing and a group of brilliant women surrounding her, Gwen was sure that Charlotte was a harbor of untapped potential that could prove to be one of her finest choices of all. There wasn’t an exact quality that she could put her finger on when it came to what drew her to Charlotte, but Gwen wasn’t one to silence her intuition. Too many women choose to ignore that little voice in their head that all too often is screaming the right answer because they have so little trust in their own minds that they choose to silence their own power. Women’s intuition isn’t a myth, and Gwen is out to prove that hers is spot on.

L A N A   C H A M B E R S – With a mind as sharp as her own, Lana was the last woman to make the cut. It’s not that she didn’t have the right temperament for the club, she was there on scholarship after all, proving that she had a keen mind and was determined to fight her way to the top. It’s just that Gwen was aware that her combined choice of women has an overall image to maintain. It was crucial to show that the Quarrel club would not have money be an influential factor in membership. Gwen is apt to criticize capitalism and is she is a firm believer that white imperialism has lead to the huge income inequality gap that exists between the worlds most wealthy and most poor. Gwen won’t admit to herself that she is using Lana as a tool to show off her own biases towards wealth and money in general. In her mind, she’s doing the right thing, offering a woman a spot in a money-driven social circle and coming off as a selfless queen who is above such superficial things such as monetary measures, despite knowing little of actual poverty after growing up in family of extreme upper-class means and opportunities.

Pressing the final wax seal with satisfaction, Gwen felt the high rush that comes whenever she feels she is on the precipice of a brilliant scheme about to be realized. This would be her master project, her legacy, her own personal legend. Oxford would be forever altered, the gender dynamic pushed in a completely different direction with women, her women, leading the pack. Sliding the ivory envelopes into her tan leather backpack, she sauntered out the door, her head raised high, already balancing the inevitable crown she was about to take as her own.

Rogue Dungeon and Tearmoon Empire

As one of a dwindling number of freedom fighters opposing the Tyrant King, Roark risks everything in an attempt to free his people. But that final confrontation quickly went awry. Clutching one of the Tyrant King’s treasures, Roark flees through a portal, only to find himself trapped in one of our world’s MMOs. Worse still, he has now become the lowliest of trolls, trapped inside a dungeon that exists only to be farmed by ingrate players. Roark’s way home lies through the party of players, through the dungeon boss, and finally, through the minions of the Tyrant King who have followed him to the game world. Even if it means embracing his new nickname, “The Griefer.”

Like most dungeon builder fantasies, Rogue Dungeon, by James Hunter and eden Hudson, is a genre-blender, merging epic fantasy and portal fantasy conventions with those of game world litRPGs. Unlike most dungeon builders, Roark does not start out in control of his dungeon. Instead, he must usurp control, first of his floor, and then of the entire dungeon. This is no mean feat when players raid the dungeon ever few hours, erasing whatever experience Roark can cobble together. This means that Roark has to rely on actual strategy and alliances instead of simply abusing skill and stats. Here, his past as an oppressed freedom fighter comes in handy, as the only way to fend off players and floor bosses alike is through an ever-changing list of deceits, feints, and foul tricks. It adds depth and variety to the battles compared to the typical munchkinning of litRPGs, as the advantage in one battle doesn’t turn out to be the advantage for all battles.

Written at a time when wish-fulfillment harem stories were popular, Rogue Dungeon takes a different course. The key to Roark’s survival in the game world is tied to the growth and development of his and his allies’ skills, as well as in the various new constructions in the dungeon. With all the exposition spent on these changes and their effects on the various conflicts forced upon Roark, there just is not any space to waste on relationship drama or ego-stroking. Between the game rules and the lack of romance, the resulting fantasy evokes the same feel as a cozy mystery, just with fireballs and player killing. But while Hunter and Hudson are inviting the reader into a game with strict rules, they deftly balance the mechanical demands of their game world with the demands of story. The often cursed-at trope of the stat sheet is present, but care is taken to minimize the quantity, duration, and length of its appearances. The game serves the story, not the other way around. But stories like these survive on characters, and Kaz, a troll turned chef that joins with Roark, stands out among the admittedly small cast.

The mix of novelty and quality makes Rogue Dungeon an excellent introduction to dungeon builders and litRPGs for newcomers to the genres. Especially for those who like their heroes not to be bound to one spot.

In her last moment, Mia, the selfish princess of the fallen Tearmoon Empire, watches the sun as she waits for the headsman’s blade to fall. In the next moment, she wakes up as her twelve-year-old self, painfully aware of the mistakes and disasters that cost her empire and her life. She now has eight years to change her history–and that of her people’s–or face the guillotine once more. Did Mia have a change of heart? Let’s call it enlightened self-interest instead.

Something strange is happening in the wish fulfillment stories over in Japan, as a sub-genre of fantasy has formed of selfish princesses who, under threat of a painful doom, learn that a little compassion and a kind word unlock more doors than throwing fits. Along the way, these otherwise stubborn princesses experience first hand how taking an interest in the well-being of others oftentimes gets them their desires when selfishness will not. Mia also learns how the seeds of her demise were planted in the random acts of pettiness, cruelty, and self-aggrandizement she committed at school. The key to success for Mia is simple–fake it until you make it. And she’ll have plenty of chances to practice as she goes off to school, to rub shoulders with the princes who destroyed her empire in her past life.

In lesser hands, this type of magical academy tale can become the self-validating Mary Sue story which plagues light novels, young adult books, and comics. But Nozomi Mochitsuki opts instead for a comedy of misunderstandings. Mia’s sterling reputation is contrasted with her internal self-interest, which grounds her from the head-swelling adoration sent her way. And the misunderstandings go both ways, as not everything Mia perceives is as she thinks it to be. The perils Mia falls into out of these new misunderstandings tend to be good-natured and charming. But,as her journal from her past life says, she’s not out of danger yet.

Most astonishingly, Tearmoon Empire is blessedly free of fannish trappings, which mean that the fannish deviancies that plague light novels are mercifully absent. What remains is a slow romance and an exhortation to be better that only occasionally dips into preachiness. As such, Tearmoon Empire is a rare young adult story aimed at teens instead of young professionals, and one I would have no qualms handing to a niece or a younger sister interested in anime and manga.

Rogue Dungeon and Tearmoon Empire published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

@nah-bro-really I have nothing left to give

1. Dream Job- 2 of C:  you are likely to be appreciated in your workplace and should be feeling comfortable there, at least to a large degree even if you don't particularly like your job. If looking for employment, this can mean that you are going to find it very soon.  Fairness, balance, harmony.  You are a compassionate, caring person - you understand the healing powers of love and the importance of relating with others. There is a spiritual dimension to your passion - a passionate drive toward spiritual expression. Your conscious and subconscious dimensions now work together. You will experience emotional balance and fulfillment - the capacity to give love as well as to receive love in equal proportion as what "appeared" to be opposition is now reconciled.

How can you get there R Lovers:  it’s very likely that you are feeling ambivalent about a relationship or situation in your life. You must pay attention to what your gut is telling you and to try to analyze and get clear about what this is and why. Your feelings and emotions are there for a reason. Don’t ignore them.

WHat qualities do you bring to the table  R devil: You realize security comes from within and the world is changing and unpredictable. You focus on being in control

WHere can you find assistance R Knight of C:  Look before you leap - get the whole picture - half truths can promote difficulties in any relationship. When you allow yourself to "feel" only what is pleasurable you may be denying your "inner" self and your reality. You have mastered your desires - take advantage of your emotional energies. Be willing now to simultaneously move forward and let go - move your relationships in new directions that are emotionally enlivening as important emotional issues are resolved.You are experiencing a negative reaction to the increased demands of the world upon you - you are a passive person being pushed towards action or commitment and you do not like it. Without "outwardly" resisting - you still resent the demands being made of you. This attitude can result in a wall between yourself and the people who are making you act out your responsibilities and if you allow it to continue - it can result in manipulation, lies and tricks.Extremes - slow emotional growth or developing too fast. Missing emotional opportunities or overindulgence. Too sensitive or too insensitive. Creative block. Unmotivated. Inconsiderate or caring to an extreme...too cool or too hot. Taking too much energy from the group or giving them too much.

What are you overlooking? R queen of C:  you may be feeling hurt, put-upon, and can be becoming untrustworthy. Watch the signals.  reminds us to treat ourselves with love and compassion. Regardless of your past or your circumstances, you are worthy of love and respect.   Do not abandon, deny or repress your feelings - be willing now to communicate them accurately and openly. You no longer have a need to attack others or apologize for your feelings. You are now ready to reflect accurately on the outside whatever you are feeling on the inside so that the two remain in constant balance. Accept and forgive. Receive and give with love and openness and your spirit will be renewed.

WHere am I currently going in life (jumper card): King of S:  A master of wisdom compelling others to recognize and hold to the truth. You may be provided with new opportunities that will take you in a new direction. Allow new ideas, new thoughts in with no judgment or censorship. Each new moment creates an opportunity to fulfill ever-changing needs. Formulate your ideas into workable solutions, apply your thoughts and make sure they work. Move forward - go for it!

How do i get back on the right path Q of W:  Self discovery, sensitivity and spirit - awakening to the deepest essence of who you are as your love of home and the appreciation of nature is translated into feeling and understanding. Your attractive personality draws people to you because you just naturally love life and people. You see no purpose or value in deceit, control or dominance. Your attitude is sensible and you are most helpful when providing good advice. People do not fear asking you for assistance because they KNOW they will be helped if it is at all possible.Allow your physical senses to alert and reveal, follow your natural perception. See through the disguised and unseen. See danger and "feel" opportunity. Sound practical judgment is needed in your business affairs now - financial gains are possible from people in authority. It is very important that you understand the feelings and emotions of others now - exercise your generosity and patience as negative, stubborn, domineering qualities begin to surface.For a person who loves life with a fiery joy - the world appears to respond by protecting them from harm and sending them joyous experiences. It is time that you recognize your personal power and begin to display your self-confidence, generosity, burning passions and desires. Behave spontaneously and free your quick temper by utilizing your creative energies and inspiring those energies in others. Radiate from within - reveal and transform, heal and transmute - let your spirit soar. See, hear, feel, sense and taste the truth. Strive for sharp perception as you defend your position and integrity.Intuitive, spiritual, vibrant, fiery, introspective, humorous, mother of beliefs, benevolent, dedicated, philosophical guide, spiritual advisor, spiritual nurse, mystic, metaphysician, natural leader by example - ruled by the drive of the heart. Channel for divine insight, inner confidence, spiritual energy/drive. 

What can i do to stay moving in the right direction (2x) R Page of S and R 5 of W:   you simply can't plan for everything. Unexpected occurrences are part of life and you shouldn't beat yourself up because of them. Work through any problems that crop up one step at a time.   Life is unpredictable - prepare your mind now for the unexpected. Remain receptive to other peoples moods so that you can attend to what you wish to produce. Look deeper into the situations that surround you so that you can fully understand them. See if the actions and behavior of others are aligned with the thoughts and ideas that they are expressing.Prepare your mind for vibrations that could demand quick decisions causing you to act immediately. Trust and believe that all change will eventually be more beneficial. Believe in your mastery of practical thinking and your commitment to quality and excellence. You have detached yourself from a situation which requires more force. You are "limiting" your viewpoint - having become obsessed with your problems and your inability to do anything about them. You require strength, courage and optimism now - expand your mind and exercise it. Renew your perception and revitalize your mind.

you have a real need to believe in and trust yourself now. If something or someone doesn't pass the "smell test" to you now, trust your instincts. However, no matter what happens, be hesitant to escalate conflict or to take irrevocable steps. Don't be hasty, no matter how angry you get in coming weeks. Deal with your frustrations - these feelings of being restricted, contained or held back. When you are confronted by differing ideas - it creates confusion over what you are doing - your battle then lacks organization and unity. You need the cooperation of others if balance is to be achieved. See if the problem is your own conflicting beliefs. Adjust and reassess this situation - seek cooperation and move towards the creative endeavors that will allow you to express yourself fully. Maintain your balance - concentrate on finding a concept that will bridge varying beliefs and allow you to co-exist with others which will create new vibrations of peace and love. You will feel the sense of harmony which will create exciting new opportunities. Prepare your mind now - allow yourself to enjoy the generosity and attention you receive from others. Awaken to your self-awareness and release your confined spirit.New - The mind is a strong influence and here its negative effects include: attachment to old forms with an attendant defensiveness to new input; a temptation to over rationalize the issues. Spiritual recklessness, carelessness, restlessness. Non-conformity to your correct spiritual group, guides - the reluctant student. Moral dilemmas. Amorality. Difficulty with challenges of the path. On the one hand spiritual apathy, on the other unnecessary spiritual foray 

SOmething great about myself 8 of S:  you may be holding yourself back because you fear moving into the future, or because you are wary of getting hurt by a new situation, or maybe for no reason at all. Think through what it is that you're afraid of. The truth of the situations are probably much less frightening than your mind is making it out to be.  we must be open to defeat in order to ever possibly win. Do not fear the unknown; many blessings reside for you there. Examine your thoughts, speech, and behavior for negativity and know that what you say and do and the choices that you make affect the outcomes in your life. If you need help managing and dealing with your fears, ask for it.  Your "ego" represents the non-trusting, doubting, over-analytical part of your mind which is unable to make any decisions - always feeling very restricted, experiencing hurt or anxiety. Recognize now that your vision has been blocked because of the fear you feel "inside" - it is creating confusion. Trying to battle more than one issue at a time will always create indecision and cause you to waste precious energy on minor details. You are unable to think clearly now - you need help and sensible advice. Pull back now, go deep inside - seek peace and allow your "inner" voice to direct you. Stop believing you will be swamped by your emotions if you take a step toward your goals - recognize that you have done this to yourself and begin to focus on developing your potentials. Stop fearing success and power - accept the beast within you. See your abilities clearly and loose your passions - you have restrained yourself from activity long enough, avoiding the present by trying to convince yourself that there are no alternatives. These beliefs keep you hemmed in - they always provide reasons why nothing will work.You are not being held back by direct force, but by your training - this belief in your own helplessness and your blind acceptance of what you have been taught. The recognition of your ignorance is the first step to true knowledge - without enlightenment you will never be able to say "this is the truth, this is the way things really are". Recognize now that nothing prevents you from leaving - you are bound only by your own "illusions".

What am I good at R Tower:  Try not to over-think this, it doesn't have to indicate a major, horrible change in life. It’s just some change. Stay mindful of the reality that you either already have – or can get - all the resources you need, to deal with life and to do what you need to do. It is time to roll with the changes.  The process of change has started. Do not resist the inevitable breakdown of your present circumstances - let go, do not fight it. Look at things the way they really are - ignore the opposition and you will win the day. To rid yourself of something old or undesirable, you need to literally get rid of it - so that something much better can come along. See the writing on the wall - accept your situation and do what you know is right. Do not wait till the last minute - trying to hang on only makes the situation worse. Clear things up and have the courage to start over.Your "ego" can find a reason for everything - but it is the wrong reason. Allow yourself to undergo the full experience. Trying to keep a tight reign on your reactions may lesson your pain for the moment - but in doing so, you do not release all the repressed emotions. The painful experience continues inside you - never having gone its full course. In trying to shield yourself from the Towers lightening - you virtually become its prisoner.Enlightenment is a disturbing experience because it disrupts the little false "ego" world you have surrounded yourself with. You suddenly see that there is much more than the everyday world with all of its problems - there is an "inner" world filled with happiness and joy. You have always been aware of it, but you identified with it on the "ego" level in which you always seemed to loose. In the transition from the Tower - you never "loose" anything. Your "ego" becomes subordinate to your Inner Self and you begin to enjoy creating for that is what truly makes you happy. On the "ego" level - you win some and you loose some. In the creative situation - you ALWAYS win because you are not playing any games - you ARE important or you wouldn't be here!

I enjoy:  use your "free will" to examine and choose what beliefs you will accept. You achieve your sense of self worth from others or you recognize your responsibility to choose your personal reality as you desire it. Allow your inner, intuitive mind to guide you so that your ego can form and begin to function in the world. You cannot upset the natural drives within yourself - they are forces which must be recognized for what they are and dealt with the best you can. You can not evade, avoid or deny the way you are made. Your actions are causing others to feel unstable - seek a balanced expression of both the material and spiritual - combine your reason and imagination. When in a proper relationship - the total effect is called "grace". There is a descent from your Higher Self that completely engulfs your personality in a blissful feeling - you can tell you are experiencing "bliss" when little things move your "spirit".Your romantic immaturity and childish fantasies have involved you in a relationship which has become destructive. It is dominated by romantic or sexual addictions and this is creating difficulties for you in relating to other people. Indecision is not your friend. Seek that which represents the gifts of the spirit - apply to the "inner" principle and you will always get a true intuition for an answer. When you arrive at a higher level, there is never any need for display - truly generous people have no awareness of it - what they do is perfectly natural for them. Your Higher Self is always working and will eventually overcome any obstacles, as the complexities of a love affair resolve into a reciprocal working relationship of a permanent quality, flowing back and forth.

My calling 10 of C:  a happy family life, (even if you are single,) and to general well being that goes beyond you yourself to include those that you are most concerned about - parents, siblings, children, etc. Being spiritually fulfilled is also part of the picture here. This is a good card to see; regardless of the question.  Follow the beat of your heart and be spontaneous and you will experience fulfillment, deep emotional contentment - the state of lasting happiness and the success that you desire through the realization of your personal hopes and dreams. You will know peace within, contentment and joy at last after pain. An indication of marriage - the perfection of human love and friendship. You find it difficult to accept that everything is working out well - things will happen suddenly. There will be exciting vibrations - a trip that will spell happiness.Your fortune is where your passion is - "listen" to your passions and they will reveal your genius and bring you success. You have the gift of bringing light and good cheer to those around you - your family and relations are important to you, without them you do not feel whole. You need other people to communicate your inspirations and ideas to and their reactions matter to you. You maintain your individuality in your characteristics - but you need a highly social environment in which to express it, for this is what prosperity means to you.

Biggest challenge within self R 5 of P:  Don't give up - look for the new opportunities created by this "set-back". Recognize that "worry" takes you to the future or to the past and has you totally avoiding the present. Stay in the present and handle things as they come up. Don't get pulled into the "what-ifs" of tomorrow or the "if-onlys" of yesterday. You are experiencing a deep spiritual need - go deep within and seek "inner" council. Your preoccupation with the past and the future has you totally avoiding the issues at hand. When you have accustomed yourself to suffering - a collapse can release you. Whether or not you can build something more positive from the collapse depends on yourself and the influence and opportunities around you. When you find things difficult to understand - show more empathy and do not allow your sense of "pride" to stand in your way. Remain positive and look ahead - your present situation is never permanent.Not using the positive potential of a period of rest. Too much movement when stillness is required. Restlessness itself, hastiness, carelessness. Looking at physical losses instead of gains - this is an effect of mind on the Physical Plane. At one extreme there are things like apathy, ambivalence, laziness, stagnancy and the problems that derive from lack of movement. When money doesn't move the economy falters - personal finances suffer. When you do not exercise your muscles - they atrophy. If you don't move the proper foods through your body, your health suffers.

Issues in environment R Hermit:  There is nothing wrong with having a need for some time alone - don't be afraid to take it. Problems can arise, however, when one spends too much time alone or is too fearful of being around other people or being vulnerable to them. Life is about vulnerability.  You are creating too much resistance, refusing to accept or listen to good counsel and this is creating the tension you are experiencing within yourself. Do not allow your "ego" to get between you and your good, common sense. Swallow your pride, stop your activities and take the time to think things over. Make your plans carefully before moving forward - be receptive to the times when you see that there is a lack of communication. Recognize that you may be consciously trying to cut yourself off from others -trying to tell yourself that no one seems to care. You are only avoiding the responsibilities of doing something with your life when you hang on to meaningless activities or try to imitate enthusiasm. Change your attitude and things will begin to look better. You can not soar like the eagle you are, when you are bound up in a cage. Become involved in life again. It is not your outer circumstances that must change, but the way you look at them that makes the difference.

anything else I should understand 7 of W:  Don't hesitate to make where you stand clear to people. Your thinking is clear, and you are likely to help someone out by spelling things out for them. This card can indicate that a change is coming - a positive change - in your personal or business life. This card also points toward being independent and thinking for yourself.   Face up to this situation - assert your point of view, stand by what you value and never compromise or settle for less. Rest now - you are under pressure in this situation. You will see things more clearly in time for you are blessed with inner strength and can hold on in any adversity. Prepare to defend the very basics in your life -it will require courage and responsibility. Stand by what you value and things will unfold, regenerate and renew themselves - allowing you to move in directions that you value.You will require the assistance of others now, strength and energy will be needed, for you will be required to test your mettle to prove yourself against the competition - only then will you know whether you have mastered your lessons. Trust in your intuition and past experiences - have the nerve, sense of purpose and determination to meet the challenges that will be presented now. Stand up to opposition without backing down. When you are fired up about something, you speak your ideas and stand up for your values, you have the courage to face the odds and overcome the obstacles. Your leadership abilities will surface as your opponents test your limitations - continue to build your mastery.

The next step R 10 P:  you have a great deal to be happy about, but you need to beware a sense of boredom, which often comes about when people are actually at peace. Don't shake things up for the sake of it. Count your blessings, at all levels.  Acknowledge when you are experiencing one problem after another, when nothing seems to run smoothly - when you feel lost and do not know what to do. When you become bored - you lean towards doing nothing and you can easily be persuaded to go in the wrong direction. If this sense of boredom increases - it can lead to taking financial or emotional risks - recognize that this urge to gamble everything, stands in direct opposition to your basic qualities of caution, skill and foresight. Sometimes a risk is justified, depending on the projected results - but, if the risk comes from impatience, then troubles can arise from recklessness or doing things at the wrong moment. You become so trapped by the need for material comfort that you become security conscious and the advancement mentality necessary for continuous growth.Become self-motivated - be objective and take command of this situation. Utilize your gifts of communication, healing and inspiration and align with your "inner" Self. Organize things in your life - begin to communicate your "inner" desires and the results will be healing, inspirational and enriching.

Faulty beliefs 9 of S and 4 of W:  You will need to guard against a feeling of anxiety. If you are feeling anxious, take a good look at whether or not any of that is under your own power or control (and thus, you could lessen it) or if other things or people in your life are contributing to this anxiety. If it is the latter, take a good look at that, and see whether or not something in the relationship can be changed to make it more workable for you. There's something about this time period that can cause people to feel like their life should be, in some way, "more" or "bigger" than it is. Try to take comfort and joy in the ordinary things. That's where the beauty is.  Analyze your situation carefully now - focus on your priorities and forge ahead. Confront your fears, experience the grief and allow yourself to heal. Complete the process by transforming your pain. Experience pain -identify the "source" of the emotions you are experiencing and then you will know what it is you must change. Stress and depression are the last despair of your rational mind before new possibilities break through from the unconscious and allow it to flow freely. Concentrate on what is most important for you to complete. Immerse yourself completely and totally in your work. Trust in yourself and the course you have committed to.The higher mind takes aim at its own plane. Mind is now keenly aware of self and of the magnitude of what it has asked to be privy. It has asked for and been given access to a level of knowledge which has a commensurate level of responsibility that now demands the letter of the law. The more you know, the more you owe and the more you know, the more you know you do not know and will never know. The only game over which mind can exercise free will in how well it exercises its duties as the caretaker of what it knows. That is a matter of wisdom, the mastery of the management of knowledge. Knowledge and responsibility are Siamese twins - one cannot live without the other, for they share one heart. One cannot carry out responsibility without the knowledge to do so and one cannot be truly knowledgeable without responsibility - because responsibility is inherent in every piece of information. Responsibility is natural, unless it is selectively blotted out by the mind, skillfully separated by the surgical scalpel of potentially errant free will. You take a hard look at objective progress as your goals demand that they be attempted in earnest, if not met. But this mind is not interested in any excuses, from you or anyone else - this is a "pass in review" for what you have achieved, in some cases an actual list- making exercise. Deep conscious thinking and non-thinking - meditation. The ink is drying on your philosophy and goals for this lifetime. Here is the impact of idealism and you will be tough on yourself. This is a time of major decisions, decisions which select a major fork on your path. On these decisions you must build - they are one-way gates through which you will never pass again. You may see here the theoretician, psychologist, philosopher, mathematician or scientist.

it shows also a need to keep your wits about you, that although you deserve and should treat yourself to some fun, but know that you are still in a building up phase and now is not the time to rest completely on your laurels. This card can also sometimes mean that you will be moving your place of residence.   Completion - a new beginning. You have done well, perfected your work and you will know harmony, satisfaction and peace. Make plans to enjoy the results of your hard work. If you have been enjoying romance - you could be laying the foundations for marriage - it will be a satisfying union. Your mind is active, creative and superior now - past activities will begin to peak, rewards will be received for your past efforts and prosperity will reign.Rise above your present situation and you will feel a sense of completion, the welcomed renewal that comes when opposing energies finally harmonize. Treat these moments as a cleansing time - celebrate and generously share the fruits of your labor - show appreciation to those who supported you. Free yourself from whatever it is that is keeping you from being all that you can be. Allow your higher spirit to help you as you aspire to help others. Celebrate life at every turn - allow yourself to enjoy the rewards you receive as you move through each developmental stage of your life and accept the responsibility of the new levels. You will now experience a domestic environment filled with Spirit, optimism, eagerness and celebration as you are swept along by joy - moving from a defensive situation to one that is open and honest. Your optimism and love of freedom carry you now - together with others - out of your walled city and into the light.You are an initiate enjoying the comfort of being spiritually centered on your path, secure in the knowledge of accomplishments satisfying the Karmic Contract. Spiritual foundation for future work in this incarnation. Your course has been established and proven. Feedback is excellent. Your position feels strong and correct. Strong value system in place. There is justifiable celebration. Here are religious and spiritual holidays, mystagogia, fellowship - thanksgiving for what you have received and will receive. Practicing your faith. Utilizing, integrating ritual into daily life. The time for counting your blessings. Profound honesty in all relationships. The balance and harmony indicated, suggests that the lower levels - Mental, Emotional and Physical are balanced as well. Spiritual self-confidence, dedication, order, control, discipline, confirmation - a theology.

Goals R 9 of cups:  things are looking up. Make a point to really stop and think about what it is that you want in your life. You may be pleasantly surprised by how quickly it can come about. Dream.  Greater awareness - the rejection of "surface" values. Never allow yourself to think that this is all there is! Remain loyal to your purpose, to yourself and to others. Having completed your work, prepare your mind to move on. You have the ability to integrate and balance your feelings in deep and expansive ways for your own emotional happiness and well- being and that of others and this will bring about victory and liberation.You may be overdoing it emotionally. The emotions may have become ends in themselves, goaded on by the ego. Everything exaggerated for effect. Sensitivity to a fault; your feeling everything - pain is everywhere. You could be thriving on the pain itself, rather than recognizing pain as the initial part of the positive lesson to be learned. A person stuck here may never get beyond the pain - a nasty form of addiction.

Achievements A of C:  people will respond to you with happiness, love, and goodwill, more than usually in the near future. You should be feeling good about life in general. This is a great time to make friends.  The beginning of things emotional and creative - the experience of joy, transcendent love and happiness. Your mind is filled with the spirit of love - you have the capacity to accurately express the internal feelings you experience. It is time for you to open your psychic, spiritual and unconscious channels. Be receptive to all the hopes and doubt that arise when you pursue any goal. FEEL your "inner" connection - your desire to nurture your goal along. Pay attention to the little details and you will be blessed with spiritual sensitivity and insight. Emotional fulfillment, perfection, blessings - receptivity

Logical path R 10 of W:  10 of Wands appears reversed, you may be tired, dealing with delays, and feeling overstretched. This is not necessarily something that you need to push through. You may be far better served by taking a break. Even a short few hours to relax and de-stress can be helpful. Seek out upbeat people.   Take a look at your original goal and see if you are still on course. When you fulfill personal obligations and agreements, you develop the maturity essential to all social relationships. You develop faith in yourself and your ability to accomplish your goals.Your burdens have increased in weight and number to the point where you may collapse from them - physically and emotionally. You are holding yourself back, limiting your vision by giving your power to others. It is vitally important that you release yourself - stop restricting your activities and remove yourself from the oppressive situations in your life where you feel you are holding yourself back and unable to fully express all of who you are. Throw down the burdens, attempt a new direction and use your energy for a better, more constructive purpose. Continue to grow - don't give up now...be willing to take the risk and reach for your goals.There may be an overly long pause at this level, a hesitation to go on with the next task. Spiritual egotism. Presumption of a high order. Spiritual abuse, negligence. Spiritual vertigo. 

 Emotional obstructions R 6 of P:  you are not aware of the potential sources of assistance that are available to you. You may be feeling like you can do everything on your own. This would be a mistake. Don't be too proud or too stubborn to allow others to help you.  If you are experiencing an unsatisfactory situation - accept your feelings. Feelings of insecurity are created when you are not recognized for the hard work that you produce or when a stable, but basically unequal and unsatisfying situation has been disrupted. Feelings of insecurity result in dissatisfaction as you begin to think that things are unfair and your prosperity is threatened.Any relationship is based on the dynamics between those who have and those who don't. Doling out attentions, promises, "sexual favors" or finances can be a manipulative means of keeping people bound to you. You are now learning to give with no conditions, according to your ability and to receive what is freely given you - for only then will you find true stability and security in your relationships. When success is measured in terms of what you give - everyone shares in it. If success is measured in terms of what you get, you will always be chained to the need for more. Release your defensive attitude.There is an indication that your situation - emotionally or economically dominates you - giving you very little, but just enough to keep you from looking for something else. Analyze your situation very carefully now. Does your job give small material benefits with little satisfaction or chance for improvement? Are you involved in an unhappy, yet comfortable relationship? Do you feel your situation is oppressed, yet find that you do not want to endanger what little security you do have?In situations like these - nothing is ever truly reconciled - the situation maintains balance and just keeps going. Can you show generosity and give spontaneously or do find that you measure out what you think you can afford to loose and give only what you will not miss? Do you find that you relate easily to others - while always hold back your deepest feelings and allowing yourself to accept only limited "gifts" from others? Does the display of strong emotions embarrass or scare you? Do you find that you place an offer of help in the category of "charity" and give people only what you "think" they are able to receive - unconsciously measuring out your giving according to what other people expect from you - always trying to avoid making yourself or another person uncomfortable?You are challenged now to give more freely - to share from the heart and stop measuring out what you feel you can afford to loose. Release this "your win is my loss" attitude. Have the courage to continue the process you have started - it will result in a freer, more equal situation. Place yourself in the position to receive and stop cutting yourself off spiritually. Success is achieved through disciplined, step-by-step procedures - remaining open and flexible to opportunities that are presented. It is attainable as a result of following that which has heart and meaning in your life. Stay in your authenticity and truth now. Organize your communication so that context and timing are all aligned and put consistent energy into your life situations.

What you fear to get for yourself 5 of P:   a feeling of being left out in the cold, as though everyone else in the world has everything and you are the only one that is suffering. Realize that this is not the case. Do the best you can, with what you have, but remember that the wise thing to do, if one needs help, is to go out and ask for it. The help you need will come.  You are experiencing worry - concern about the external things involving communication, health, finances, creativity, work and relationships. Take time to review what is happening in your life and what you really want. You are allowing your heart to rule your thinking - your emotions are involved and you can not see just how good life can be. Challenges of deprivation, insecurity and exclusion allow you to experience the upset that occurs when every effort towards stability is denied and everything you want to hold on to is taken from you. They help you recognize the transitory nature of physical and material desires.New opportunity awaits, new possibilities - a better way will now be presented. Recognize that strategic review, regrouping and realignment are all necessary steps of forward progress. Channel all your thoughts and energy into your spiritual development, for it is here you will find rest and relief. When your home, work or security is threatened - choose how to handle it. Work at your situation slowly and steadily, trying different things until you get a combination that holds together and despite the hardships, you will continue to progress towards your goal and your rewards will be as great as your belief in what you can achieve.Here is the paradox of freedom and uncertainty, a multiplicity of choice at the physical/material level, in matters of health, work, transportation, finance - things that constitute hard reality. The dilemma: How to preserve order and discipline while moving forward? This card represents that movement but the activity in this phase is within a limited range, while there is pause for reparation, taking stock of your physical world before committing. Which among the good choices is yours? Here are things like: flexibility, versatility, patience, relaxation (no need for movement/action), curiosity, carefreeness, independence. But there is inherent restlessness in this stasis, a positive instability that will eventually necessitate change. This is a time for repairing the nets so that you will be ready when the fish come.

What you once wanted but is now lost R 6 of C:  The reversed 6 reminds us that we must stay focused on the present and the future instead of getting or staying "lost in the good old days." Live for today.  The reversed 6 of Cups is often a card about looking back on how things "used" to be. This is sometimes connected with children or childhood. The reversal suggests that you are rightly beginning to pay more attention to the future, rather than the past.  After experiencing disappointment and hurt - you face the real test - are you willing to accept an apology, to forgive and let go of the pain? Love with the trust and receptivity of a child and out of this pleasurable experience you will be regenerated and renewed to such an extent that pleasure and the sense of pleasure will be extended to everyone around you. "Delays" only test your strength and will - do not react - just be quiet, still and center yourself within.When a special event that you have been looking forward to is postponed - be willing to release it and accept the changes. When you experience disappointment with something received - consider releasing yourself from that relationship or stifling situation. You have been "down" too long - focus your attitude and move towards action - always look towards the future. Disturbed memories from the past are creating these feelings of alienation as you experience the breakdown of a relationship which was based on one person protecting or teaching the other. Let go, experience your grief and you will be regenerated. Cry and your light will shine again. Liberate your feelings and you liberate your spirit.Nostalgia to a fault (yearning to return to the past or an unrecoverable condition). Sentimentality - too much family/ friends . You cannot extend for the sake of extending. Rushing into or extending relationships with people not suited for or appropriate to your path. Just as we are not meant to bed with or mate with everyone we meet - neither are we to bond with just anyone. Many tests of give and take reciprocity are required. Being a blood relative is automatic but it does not entitle one to privileges not earned. All relationships must establish their mutual bonds of love and respect by their actions - not by their birth and in the case of marriages - not by fact of law. Bad memories - too emotional for the given circumstances...insincere flattery.

A dream you’d constantly wish would come true R Ace of W:   reason for feeling good, but you may be having difficulty "feeling it." If you are struggling with anxiety, try to get a handle on what you are worrying about and what is bothering you. You may benefit by talking to someone new about the way that they handle such things; this could be very inspirational.  A true centering on the being within - your karmic purpose can now gently and completely unfold. Awakening - opening of the Third Eye...receiving God's messages of your lessons to be learned. You may be on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough, but there is a block of some sort. You may very much be a medium through which a great deal is being accomplished. This channel between you and the firmament may be too efficient and thereby picking up more than is appropriate or it may be inefficient and not picking up all that is meant for you. For these inefficiencies to be taking place, there will be obvious difficulties at the lower levels bringing this about; undirected energy or the inability to direct energy beneficially. Wonder and happiness are all around you - even when you cannot or will not allow yourself to see it.You are meant to be fully efficient and receiving everything you need to know to be completely successful on your path. Don't give up now, just try again - plan it right and use a little more effort. Release yourself, experience who you are - do not hold back any part of yourself. Stay in your truth, be authentic and do not edit, rehearse or try to abandon who you are. Trust and honor your intuition! See yourself clearly committed to releasing any negativity, blocks or obstacles that are preventing you from actualizing your full potential.A true centering on the being within - your karmic purpose can now gently and completely unfold. Awakening - opening of the Third Eye...receiving God's messages of your lessons to be learned. Spiritual roots - successful completion of spiritual matters but possibly not to the highest of standards. You may be on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough, but there is a block of some sort. You may very much be a medium through which a great deal is being accomplished. This channel between you and the firmament may be too efficient and thereby picking up more than is appropriate or it may be inefficient and not picking up all that is meant for you. For these inefficiencies to be taking place, there will be obvious difficulties at the lower levels bringing this about. You are meant to be fully efficient and receiving everything you need to know to be completely successful on your path.

What you really don’t need but think you do against all reason P of C:   you've been taking yourself far too seriously. Margot Fonteyn said "The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously. The first is imperative and the second is disastrous." Know the difference.   You will receive an offer of help and cooperation; energy which has moved through possessiveness, manipulation and jealousy and mastered the capacity to offer emotional loyalty to others in objective ways. A gentle, quiet person - emotionally secure and able to communicate feelings, desires and concerns in realistic and meaningful ways. Unencumbered by the conflict with responsibility or sensual desire - contemplation and fantasy are in proper balance.The development of wonderful ideas and psychic abilities through meditation and study, developed in a peaceful way. An important messages will be arriving soon - be ready to start a new project. Continually express your feelings - purify yourself emotionally. You get rid of unwanted feelings by expressing them. "Feel" the ecstatic renewal of your heart and spirit by revealing your deepest emotions.Emotional, sensitive, creative, emotionally resourceful, loyal, tender, affectionate. Emotionally dependent on others, sentimental, ruled by the drive for the transformation. Drive and the forces of change is instinctive, passive as the growth of a child is automatic. Good emotional feel for things, active subconscious, wide range of emotions, exaggeration - emotionally playful, light-hearted, emotional innocence, purity. Appropriate naivety in emotional/creative affairs. Lack of emotional/sexual experience. The transformation side of things emotional and represents new emotional opportunities, situations, events and guides. Learning lessons directly from emotional interaction. Emotional renewal, emotional news (happenings with people). Here is the fountain of emotional youth which keeps our hearts from aging just as the fountain of influence under the Page of Pentacles serves to keep our bodies young.

What you desire most at this time 9 of Swords:  You will need to guard against a feeling of anxiety. If you are feeling anxious, take a good look at whether or not any of that is under your own power or control (and thus, you could lessen it) or if other things or people in your life are contributing to this anxiety. If it is the latter, take a good look at that, and see whether or not something in the relationship can be changed to make it more workable for you. There's something about this time period that can cause people to feel like their life should be, in some way, "more" or "bigger" than it is. Try to take comfort and joy in the ordinary things. That's where the beauty is.  Analyze your situation carefully now - focus on your priorities and forge ahead. Confront your fears, experience the grief and allow yourself to heal. Complete the process by transforming your pain. Experience pain -identify the "source" of the emotions you are experiencing and then you will know what it is you must change. Stress and depression are the last despair of your rational mind before new possibilities break through from the unconscious and allow it to flow freely. Concentrate on what is most important for you to complete. Immerse yourself completely and totally in your work. Trust in yourself and the course you have committed to.The higher mind takes aim at its own plane. Mind is now keenly aware of self and of the magnitude of what it has asked to be privy. It has asked for and been given access to a level of knowledge which has a commensurate level of responsibility that now demands the letter of the law. The more you know, the more you owe and the more you know, the more you know you do not know and will never know. The only game over which mind can exercise free will in how well it exercises its duties as the caretaker of what it knows. That is a matter of wisdom, the mastery of the management of knowledge. Knowledge and responsibility are Siamese twins - one cannot live without the other, for they share one heart. One cannot carry out responsibility without the knowledge to do so and one cannot be truly knowledgeable without responsibility - because responsibility is inherent in every piece of information. Responsibility is natural, unless it is selectively blotted out by the mind, skillfully separated by the surgical scalpel of potentially errant free will. You take a hard look at objective progress as your goals demand that they be attempted in earnest, if not met. But this mind is not interested in any excuses, from you or anyone else - this is a "pass in review" for what you have achieved, in some cases an actual list- making exercise. Deep conscious thinking and non-thinking - meditation. The ink is drying on your philosophy and goals for this lifetime. Here is the impact of idealism and you will be tough on yourself. This is a time of major decisions, decisions which select a major fork on your path. On these decisions you must build - they are one-way gates through which you will never pass again. You may see here the theoretician, psychologist, philosopher, mathematician or scientist.

What you really need but don’t know you need R 10 of W:  When the 10 of Wands appears reversed, you may be tired, dealing with delays, and feeling overstretched. This is not necessarily something that you need to push through. You may be far better served by taking a break. Even a short few hours to relax and de-stress can be helpful. Seek out upbeat people.  Take a look at your original goal and see if you are still on course. When you fulfill personal obligations and agreements, you develop the maturity essential to all social relationships. You develop faith in yourself and your ability to accomplish your goals.Your burdens have increased in weight and number to the point where you may collapse from them - physically and emotionally. You are holding yourself back, limiting your vision by giving your power to others. It is vitally important that you release yourself - stop restricting your activities and remove yourself from the oppressive situations in your life where you feel you are holding yourself back and unable to fully express all of who you are. Throw down the burdens, attempt a new direction and use your energy for a better, more constructive purpose. Continue to grow - don't give up now...be willing to take the risk and reach for your goals.There may be an overly long pause at this level, a hesitation to go on with the next task. Spiritual egotism. Presumption of a high order. Spiritual abuse, negligence. Spiritual vertigo. The symbol of Fascist Italy was a bundle of rods tightly tied together, suggesting that the Italian State had combined and coordinated the force of all its elements. Here is power without the commensurate level of responsibility.

How you feel about your life all together R of Empress:  Emotionally preserve the essence and quality of life; mentally give birth to new ideas; physically nurture your life creations and spiritually protect them with a healing and compassionate hand.Release yourself - hold on to your beliefs and "FEEL" the power inside you - allow the opposites to come together in conscious love and awareness. Recognize that feeling insecure or experiencing career setbacks are wasted energies that result in feelings of despair and failure - unproductive activity that will effect your home and your income. When this occurs, you need to seek "inner" council - seek answers to your questions and the solutions will present themselves. Knock and you will be allowed to enter. You can not retreat from your feelings - reject or deny your emotions or suppress your desires. You must solve your emotional problems through your intellectual awareness by calmly thinking through them and allowing yourself to experience a more stable and rewarding balance.Too much or too little, leads to imbalances that must eventually be corrected. Imbalance in teacher/student principle - must input and output information equally so that we must all find our teachers and our students. Over or under administration, too much or too little authority in a given situation. Objective information must be balanced with intuition. Too much logic or not enough, over or under organized.  You may have the mistaken idea at your deepest levels that you are not very attractive. If you are feeling this way, give the matter some thought and recheck. You have things to offer on every level – give yourself some credit. The Empress reversed suggests that you need to get more in touch with the love and happiness that flows within you. Meditate.

Motivations R Knight of Sword:  Continue to cut through the thoughts, attitudes and beliefs that are creating blocks to your movement and the expression of your creative-intuitive thinking. Allow the limitations and restrictions to be removed by releasing your desires to actively express your creative energy. See clearly the people you must steer clear of - recognize that they can upset your plans and create trouble. When you face those who are opposed to your thoughts or plans - it is not a good time to start a new project or change your lifestyle. Continue to be patient and wait a little longer before moving forward - trust that your patience will make you a winner and allow you to restructure your relationships so that they move in new directions that are unlimited and less restrained. Allow your weakness to overtake you and you will become careless and excessive - you will experience a mistaken response to a situation which calls for a quieter more careful approach. If you do not apply them, great ideas will only spin around in your mind and never manifest into your reality.Extremes - Unnecessary aggression or passive to a fault. Mentally stagnant. Illogical thinker or overly rational, analytical thinker. Protective to a fault.

What will actually improve your life at this time R 8 of wands:   You may be feeling guilty about something when you receive the reversed 8 of Wands. Remember that there is nothing that can be changed about the past; the only good thing that guilt can create is a change in future behavior. Sometimes the best thing to do is to forgive yourself. But your conscience is there for a reason. Don't ignore it.

Present talent 3 of P:   Persistence - clear priorities and commitments - your mind, heart and spirit moving in the same direction. You love your work, you are well informed and you can make great progress now. You have great skill, ability and talent - use them. Recognition is possible - your efforts will finally be rewarded. You are aware of the harmony that can result when you use your best skills in cooperation with other capable partners. You have the ability to create and work out practical plans for any project - advancing step by step because you recognize and value the role of each person in any endeavor. You ground your vision in the practical world through physical effort.Clarify your priorities and commitments - stick with the endeavors that you want to make stable, solid and tangible in your life. Support your creations with patience and tender loving care. Combine love with wisdom and hard work with play and with a proper nurturing attitude your creativity will pay off and you will reap the harvest. Hard work and dedication to your goal will result in mastery. Your best work combines both your spiritual understanding and your technical skills with energy and desire - it can raise you to higher levels. It should be rooted in the reality of the world and the needs of the community. Practical work, done consciously and with commitment can serve as a vehicle for self-development.  the people around you appreciate you and your efforts, and notice the quality of what you do, even if you don't get a paycheck. The Three tells you to keep doing what you're doing as you are on the right track (although there is always room for improvement.) You don't need to scrap something and start again.

What you can do with that talent 3 of Swords:  Allow yourself to experience any pain that comes up now, but do not wallow in it. You do not and should not wallow in grief or sorrow for long. However only you can decide how long is long enough. Others can't decide it for you.  Although there is an element of sorrow that is undeniable when this card appears, what lies on the other side of this sorrow can be enhanced understanding and joy. Allow yourself to fully experience any sorrow or pain that comes up now, so that you can move beyond it.   Focus and release this conscious state of sadness. Experience your emotions fully, so that you will not get blocked by them. Sorrow is the cleansing and purifying process of grief. Allow your feelings to wash over you and release any anguish that has built up. Even in the most loving relationships there are times of conflict, hurt and separation. Try to solve your problems by expressing your feelings through some creative form. Deal with your old patterns in a new way and release the constraining energy so that healing is possible. Refuse to harbor any negative thoughts.Allow your feelings to flow freely - focus on them, experience them and then release them completely. This will allow a new creative breakthrough to enter and take it's place. There is only one response to true sorrow - do not push the pain away from you - take it into your heart, accept it and go beyond it. Allow it to be transformed by courage and love! Acceptance and love can turn a painful experience into a joyful memory - an embracing of life. New ideas germinate from within and await their birth. Be creative and let your ideas out. Love what you have to give the world, give your spirit freedom and discover an endless source of new life through your creativity.

Present talent 7 of Swords:  Stabilize your mind. Your belief system is your natural grounding - your mental foundation from which you can take great leaps of consciousness, then return to regroup and renew. You have wit and cunning, the ability to create plans and strategies. When the odds seem to be against you - you seek a way to disarm the enemy. You have the ability to take the potential "sting" out of any situation by forethought and preparation - using your ability to take care of details.Do something daring that proves your bravery, skill, speed and cunning. If it looks like things may not work out the way you have planned them - have an alternate way to go. Apply your mental energy to every task and prepare your ground for later action. You are perfecting your wisdom, gaining maturity as you learn to control your power, emotions and intuition. If you find yourself unable to get anyone's help - ask yourself if you are perhaps "hiding" your true plans and intentions? Seek "inner" guidance and the solutions will be presented.You have begun to include others as extensions of the self. Here the higher physical aspect of mind, its dedication and application in the hard realities of the world, but with the goal of proving to itself the existence of God in everything, to rationalize faith through the actual experience of divinity in the physical world. This is a time for mental harvesting, for analysis/measuring of progress in preparation for the next round of thought, decision and action. A bit of a perfectionist. Here is the informed, the qualified, the certified, the approved, the accepted. Education, particularly advanced education, schooling with a definite purpose. Investigation and research. Observation/recording. Calculation. Measuring. Comparison. Speaking out, advancing your opinions. Physically carrying out mental projects. materializing ideas into mechanics. Moving information. News, Communication, publishing, writing, editing, computers, storage of information.

What you can do with that talent R knight of Cups:  Look before you leap - get the whole picture - half truths can promote difficulties in any relationship. When you allow yourself to "feel" only what is pleasurable you may be denying your "inner" self and your reality. You have mastered your desires - take advantage of your emotional energies. Be willing now to simultaneously move forward and let go - move your relationships in new directions that are emotionally enlivening as important emotional issues are resolved.You are experiencing a negative reaction to the increased demands of the world upon you - you are a passive person being pushed towards action or commitment and you do not like it. Without "outwardly" resisting - you still resent the demands being made of you. This attitude can result in a wall between yourself and the people who are making you act out your responsibilities and if you allow it to continue - it can result in manipulation, lies and tricks.

Unknown/undeveloped talent 6 of W:  Victory - have faith, good news is coming and you can win all that you hold dear. You are going to succeed if you will just keep trying. Trust yourself - be confident that you have been given the abilities and opportunities to realize your goals and dreams. Relax and concentrate on the task at hand - you will succeed. Your relationships will get better and you will know victory of the will over the physical world - the ability to change destiny and thoughts.Success comes from working with others to achieve a goal. You will experience the settlement of difficulties and disputes - you have the ability to persuade, influence and counsel and from your struggle to develop your ideas there will emerge a dominant theme and a leader. Trust your instincts and intuitions - not everyone or everything is trustworthy. Approach everything in a state of open trust. You will "feel" when something is not right - trust that.A leader can accomplish nothing without the support and backing of followers - relationships must be reciprocal if they are to succeed. You gain your self-confidence and pride from creatively solving a problem and when your work is recognized, you feel elevated above those around you. Never allow this "pride" to get in the way of your success - it will upset and delay goals and cause you to forget where you came from and those who helped you get where you are. Recognize this opposition - know that you have the wisdom to overcome it. In making your choices, consider whether you act out of love, which takes you to freedom through understanding or out of fear which takes you to guilt and bondage. When you have skills or influence that can assist others, you have a responsibility to be of service to them, using your abilities to bring victory to all concerned.Shift your emphasis from your problems to your joys - from defensiveness to optimism - become unified with the spirit. Trust your love, your light, your beauty and your richness. Assume victory and your optimism will produce the very success it desires and expects. It requires only a true belief in yourself to find the energy to accomplish what you want and such a belief will inspire others to follow you. Believe in life and give that gift to those around you. Live and let live and everything will work out for the best.

How to develop talent 9 of C:  Expansive happiness of the body, mind and spirit -fulfillment, emotional satisfaction. You have learned to compromise, to release your worry and problems by concentrating on simple ordinary pleasures. Manifest your potential - you can now create your own reality with the gift of your creative imagination. You have successfully faced all the terrors on your path home and your wish can now come true. Enjoy the deep and quiet inner contentment that comes with attaining your goals. There will be much happiness - your future is assured and material gains are now possible. You will experience good health and a sense of well-being. Life will seem easier as your worries disappear and new plans materialize. You have learned to come and go from your unconscious with ease, to work with your dreams and intuitive techniques and you can now visualize what you desire with such clarity that it comes into being. You have the resources and the knowledge to nurture others along the same path you have traveled, for you now recognize that nothing serves you better than a simple good time. Let your contribution fulfill you - "feel" the spirit of life as you create with your talents and manifest your magic.The impact of the higher mind on the Emotional Plane. With the resulting increase in emotional and creative awareness there is great comfort and joy with yourself and life in general. You have good emotional support systems in place, giving you emotional security and restorative power. Abundance of energy. Desires are being fulfilled. You are deeply compassionate and creative as you are in touch, in tune. An artistic or poetic lifestyle of the highest order. Interest and work in the arts, theater or music. Sensitivity, a dramatic personality. You may wear your heart on your sleeve. Benevolent power. Restorative power.

Unknown/undeveloped talent 6 of S:  You carry your troubles with you, have adapted to them and they no longer represent a heavy burden to you. Blessed with the gift of support in adversity - the ability to stick with someone when their luck has run out or help them through difficult times and transitions to new phases - you maintain a personal perspective and mental tranquillity during times of turmoil. You are willing to "cross the water" to see the other persons point of view and in resolving arguments you "lay all the swords on the table" in order to achieve clarity and unruffled communications. You now recognize that by staying calm, you waste neither energy nor opportunity.

How to develop talent Page of P:  The Page can give you focus, backbone, and the wherewithal to stick with a task that is not necessarily glamorous or fun. Don't try to sidestep effort, or you will fall on your face.   Mastery of creative power - the ability to enjoy studying. The persevering scholar, the pioneer spirit and the passion to create and give birth to new form or restructure old form. The ability to approach any activity with the quality of fascination and involvement - caring less for the rewards or social position than for the work itself. Experience your own inner child's playfulness. Do what you loved to do as a child and you will find your genius, your passion and your success. Take the pressure off yourself - enjoy your journey. Do your best and enjoy the "process". You will be receiving good news - a message that will change many things. There will be a meeting with someone who is kind, generous and sympathetic to your point of view who will create changes for the better through their caring ways.Predictable, physically resourceful, physical means of discovery, good instincts. Communication with earth spirits. Ruled by the drive for transformation. Physically playful and active. Playground of possibility. Physical innocence, purity. Appropriate naivete in others. Transformation side of things physical - new physical opportunities, situations, events and guides. Drive and the forces of change are instinctive, passive as is the growth of a child is automatic. Wonder at physical things - eagerness, enthusiasm, amusement, physical renewal...physical news. Will and desire which are subtle compared to an adults.

Who you’re meant to be R 6 of Swords:  you may be ready to speak out about things you feel strongly about. However, communication in general can be difficult now. Think before you speak. Make sure important information on your computer is backed up very well now.  You are experiencing information overload. Clear your mind and put your thoughts in order. In a situation where there has been mental or physical abuse - you need distance and support so that you can gain a new perspective. With distance it is possible to rise above the situation so that you can see the larger pattern, determine some meaning behind it and what actions are necessary. There are times when it is proper to leave others behind, in order to break through relationship patterns that obsess and bind you.When you feel locked into a difficult set of circumstances - nothing can be accomplished - center yourself and wait. Difficult though your life may be - it will change. Go deep within yourself and seek spiritual guidance. Think carefully now and ask yourself if you have considered everything. Communicate any new ideas or decisions in such an objective way that they can be received and heard. Focus your mind and allow yourself to see the whole picture.When your balance and peace are disturbed - your passage is no longer serene - your emotions are stirred up and your physical or spiritual journey becomes stormy. Trying to "attack" a long standing problem - especially one that has been accepted by others - only agitates the situation. Unsatisfying or oppressive situations can go quietly along for years until someone decides to do something about it. Trying to remove the swords from the boat will sink it - they are plugging up the holes. When "swords" symbolize unhappy memories where "silence" has become the defense, communication will be painful - but it will also begin the healing process.Distortions - either too much or too little. Mental retreat. Procrastination. Deterrence from projects at hand. Interference of emotions in mental work. Defensive, neurotic mind.

What to work on 7 of Wands:  Don't hesitate to make where you stand clear to people. Your thinking is clear, and you are likely to help someone out by spelling things out for them. This card can indicate that a change is coming - a positive change - in your personal or business life. This card also points toward being independent and thinking for yourself.  Things should be going very well, you should be feeling good, and projects should be moving right along. You may still have regular moments of self-doubt, unfortunately, but now is time to feel the fear, and do it anyway.  Face up to this situation - assert your point of view, stand by what you value and never compromise or settle for less. Rest now - you are under pressure in this situation. You will see things more clearly in time for you are blessed with inner strength and can hold on in any adversity. Prepare to defend the very basics in your life -it will require courage and responsibility. Stand by what you value and things will unfold, regenerate and renew themselves - allowing you to move in directions that you value.You will require the assistance of others now, strength and energy will be needed, for you will be required to test your mettle to prove yourself against the competition - only then will you know whether you have mastered your lessons. Trust in your intuition and past experiences - have the nerve, sense of purpose and determination to meet the challenges that will be presented now. Stand up to opposition without backing down. When you are fired up about something, you speak your ideas and stand up for your values, you have the courage to face the odds and overcome the obstacles. Your leadership abilities will surface as your opponents test your limitations - continue to build your mastery.You have begun to include others as an extension of the self. Distinction between self will and the will of God diminishes, then disappears. The higher physical aspect of the Spiritual Plane. The foundation is laid for the integration of the body, the heart and the mind with the spiritual. They must perfect the art of remaining separate while becoming one. You are enlightened enough to function as one with the environment and everything else as duality merges into the One. The paradox is that this state of enlightenment sets you apart from others not yet at that stage. The test is to not let enlightenment separate you from those less enlightened - it should make you less separate. Here faith has crystallized into its mature form for this incarnation - but its defenses against other forms is still necessary - for it is mature but not complete. Your belief system is put to the test by physical realities. Taking a stand. Strong character and integrity. There is major new input on the spiritual level. Unsolicited advice may appear. There are physical things which must be considered in order to advance further. The lessons are to correct any flaws in your belief systems which could prevent proper development and advancement. Resolve. Conviction. Here is a warrior, certainly spiritual, but otherwise as well - the defender. You cannot fight for one minute unless you are fighting for something you believe in.

When to know you’re there R 4 of Cups:  this is a time to begin to get moving. This is not the time to be pitying yourself or giving in to the "if only's." Start where you are, and know that no matter what is happening, you can make a difference. Count your blessings.  Results are happening - people are hearing you - allow yourself to "feel" when a new relationship is possible. Awaken to the world and all its possibilities - always expect that there will be a positive change and stop worrying. New opportunities will now be offered - new relationships and new ideas. Trust and believe that your ideas are good and have a little more patience. Believe in yourself and when it "appears" nothing is happening, always prepare your mind for an exciting turn of events. You will experience enthusiasm - seize this opportunity -you will experience the balance of feeling internally satisfied and fulfilled as well as external emotional fulfillment.See what happens as a built-in opportunity to re-direct your angry energy. Recognize that you can be volatile and dangerous. Choose not to hurt others or tear down your creations in a moment of anger - use this energy to move forward toward your goals.

Dreams (Two jumpers) Q of Cups and P of W:  Mastery of emotional integrity - the ability to always look on the bright side of things, utilizing sensitivity and relying on intuitive ability rather than common sense. Perception - the ability to see ahead and believe. To own ones feelings and express them without blame or judgment, empowering others and allowing them to express their feelings honestly and responsibly. Blending imagination and action into creativity and social usefulness, by directing the imagination into valuable activity. Molding the creative force, without suppressing it.Love gives meaning to her actions and the realization of her goals, for it is the joining of conscious to feeling. Knowing what you want and taking the steps necessary to get it - always acting with an awareness of love. The vision of life as "joyful" can only come as a gift - love can open you to receiving that gift and recognizing that it exists. Once intelligence is joined to love - you return that gift by taking the vision and making something real and lasting from it.Awaited pleasures and success are now coming due. People in high position not only offer you assistance, but may bestow some sort of recognition on you. Rewards are promised now - advantages and powerful spiritual forces are present. You are psychic - deeply emotional and you reflect the unconscious in others. You are empathetic and understanding. Recognize that you can also be moody and deceitful. Heal and bring life to yourself and others through feeling fully and deeply - express the beauty of your heart.Emotional, sensitive, creative, dedicated, motivated, sensual, tender, soothing, loving mother. Ruled by the drive of the heart. Involved with family, friends, fellow workers. Frequently the center of the group. Confident, involved in the arts - a leader/volunteer. Healer by example, nurturer, channel for love. Creative, psychic abilities, enchantress. Nurse for emotional wounds.

Know yourself - master your internal blocks, obstacles and obstructions. Liberate your spirit - set it free to experience new adventures, renewal and new beginnings. Trust your instincts and enjoy yourself in a lighter more youthful way now. Allow yourself to experience life just for itself - free of external pressures. New beginnings, study and reflection - the qualities of a student who seeks new directions for self-growth and development. One who takes the tiger by the tail, is frank, uninhibited and forthright in speech.

fears Fool: Leap into this new phase of life - return to the "child" within you, be open to new experiences - be innocent and spontaneous, curious and playful. You are not here to cry about the miseries of the human condition, but to change them when they are not to your liking. Trust in the Universe, have faith that the Universe will take care of you - trust your Creator. Your spirit desires to break free of this boredom and take some risks. You are a Being not just a "body" - unlimited by nature. Through the joy, strength and vitality that is within you, begin to create your spirit faithfully and beautifully in flesh. Trust in your rightness and your completely original existence in this time and space. You were born into the flesh to materialize as best you can the great spontaneity of your nature, your genius is found in your childhood passions - believe that good results will come from the work done in your mind and trust that if you do the work - you can rest assured of the results.Launch into your new adventure totally unafraid of the consequences - write your script and create your own play - be joyous now, for the possibilities are boundless. Mentally - be inquisitive. Emotionally - express your feelings without reserve. Physically - have fun with life. Spiritually - search for truth and seek to grow. "Doubt" is more than just a psychological state of indecision - it is your souls temporary residence between the physical and the spiritual. It is the question "to live or not to live" - "to be or not to be". When you experience fear - keep going - you are never alone and your journey will result in knowledge, peace and liberation as you experience joy and adventure and learn to see through the illusions. The Fool - is what the world sees when they look upon someone who is truly enlightened - he does not follow their rules or share their weaknesses, so he appears to be a fool. The World represents the same enlightened person viewed from inside, by himself. Nature is always in harmony with the spirit who acts from instinct. Your passions have been raised to a higher level. You carry your experiences with you, but they no longer control you. Your higher instinct fills and transforms all experiences - do not censure your thoughts - be open-minded and play with your ideas. You carry your wand of power so casually now that the world hardly notices it and the spirit force is always available to you, for you are not consciously trying to direct it. LOVE urges you to keep going, rather than settling for what you have already achieved. LOVE urges you on in spite of your fears and allows you to move without thought, to hold onto your faith and optimism and have faith in yourself and life. Remain practical when the burdens become too heavy - follow your instincts and feelings and allow yourself to flow gracefully with life. Experience life from moment to moment and stop trying to "plan everything out" - expect a miracle.

reality Two of W:  Creative expression - controlling a situation through your ability to make choices which create balance, integration, comfort and harmony. Achievement in your business plans - your goals will be attained in work. Success and courage will bring happiness. With the correct negotiation, there could be a business partnership. An important contract, transaction or letter is indicated. You have completed the necessary work, your foundation is good - you are ambitious, progressive and willing to take the lead hoping to improve conditions. Experience the creative power of your emotions - good judgment and ability can translate your ideas into reality.An unusual and unexpected event will occur now - any conflict could bring loss. Maintain your balance as events arise that will test your ability to judge fairly. When you are in charge you are comfortable making decisions and will stand by them - you may not be able to give logical reason for your decisions, but you feel confident enough to act on them. You seldom turn to someone else for direction - preferring to do things in your own way and take responsibility for the outcome.Your greatest problem is your own boredom - this lack of a new direction or stimuli. Have a little more patience - organize and bring order to your personal life. Clarify things in order to prevent any misunderstandings. Do not allow anyone or anything to "dominate" your thinking for that creates imbalance. Move the way your body wants to, regardless of past learned patterns. You are capable of unfolding into great beauty if you follow you own inherent potentials. See who you really are as opposed to who you are supposed to be or where taught to be. Clear awareness of self is established through a peaceful mind and a calm heart.You stand now, with the world in your hands - yet, you find no contentment. You are bored. Your accomplishments have walled you in and the world you hold "appears" very small. You have become weary and can think of nothing more to do with your life. Your love of battle and challenge has left you with no satisfaction for your actual accomplishments after the fight has been won. You will have the energy you need to move in new directions now. Apply yourself - remain balanced and in harmony with the energy that surrounds you. Maintain equilibrium between your mind and your body, so that you do not act until you need to and this self-discipline, combined with your intuition - will bring success to your enterprises.

What do I really want from this situation? 7 of C:  The greater you stretch yourself, the more fear there will be. Where fear exists, there is also the opportunity for growth. Don't hold back now - move on. Use your fear to catapult you forward. Wonderful visions must be grounded in both action and the outer realities of life or they will remain only day dreams, without any real meaning or value. Rise above your circumstances. Be realistic now and narrow down your choices using your common sense. Visualize the possibilities and see clearly in your mind the good things for the future. With your skills and abilities so well developed - it is time to decide where and how to use them - allow your mind explore the potentials.You have begun to include others as extensions of the self. As the self approaches the ideal of universal love it must somehow accommodate the world as extension of the self. Here is a taking stock, a look at the material interface, a harvesting at the emotional level and then a reinvestment in the emotional future. As such you must open up to take a good look at your emotional storage bins. In the process, not only do you survey your progress to date, but in a sense you open up Pandora"s Box. It is a test for all relationships and for any creative affairs. Its function is not to destroy what we already have, rather to expand and enrich as we move out into and eventually through, our extended family in the lessons of the higher Cups. If our existing relationships are not up to facilitating this enrichment, we may be asked to leave them behind and should we not do so, they will wither and fall away of their own accord, for rest assured everyone's emotional karma demands growth and inclusion, not exclusion. The result is a barrage of new opportunities and you are becoming fully aware of them. Here are the positive aspects of fantasy, of myth.

What is my internal compass guiding me towards Knight of P:  Set achievable goals - attain your goals and be inspired. Increase and progress - always build off of each achievement and utilize your resources. Recognize that taking responsibility for your actions brings out your practical qualities - but at the same time, it is a denial of your natural desire for adventure, which narrows and distorts your attitude toward life. In dedicating yourself to purely practical matters - you cut yourself off from the deeper meanings of life. You will soon begin to feel trapped as your sense of security "seems" threatened by these conflicting desires. You wish to build solid and abundant structures - yet, at the same time, you experience a great need to move on.It is always difficult to make a decision when everything "appears" secure. Trust that hidden horizons will always be expanded and do not to resist when the higher consciousness motivates you to better things. You are the builder of new forms and have the ability to recreate structures. Your energy is thorough, takes the time to do a good job, is trustworthy and will not experiment outside its goal. You are dynamic, youthful, love activity and have empathy with those less fortunate. Come to know the source and meaning of your strength in life - prepare yourself to face the unknown. Do or teach what you have accomplished and use your knowledge for a more constructive purpose. Reward yourself with your successes, but never be satisfied - continue to build and grow - see the future.Dependable, resourceful, can-doer. Watchful, good instincts, good physical leader, ruled by the drive for expansion. Good brother/sister loyalty. Protective, sense of duty, loyalty, service to leader, then to cause. Practical, physically active, athletic. Outdoor and nature activities. Physical movement, physical change agent. Trade representative. The mental, expansive side of things physical. Physical training and craft apprenticeship, physical growth and physical additions. New resources. New capital. In romantic situations - someone younger than you.

Where is this feeling of emptiness coming from R 7 of P:  You are experiencing dissatisfaction - the trapped feeling that comes from an unsatisfying lifestyle, job, relationship or commitment. Face and move through the self-doubts that raise your fear of failure and the apprehension that your work will all be for nothing. No matter what you do - there is a certain point that you have to wait for the results and allow the fruit to ripen in its own time. Calculate your odds, sow the seeds most likely to grow - let go of your expectations and cultivate patience. When you experience anxiety and depression related to your finances, do not allow these anxious thoughts to create depression. Learn from the lesson being presented and understand that when you are centered on feeling sorry for yourself - you are unable to carry on with your project and your own impatience can ruin everything. Make no rash decisions now - before you move ahead, always think carefully and ask yourself "Is this what I really want?" Maintain balance on all levels and take care that you do not hurt anyone during the transition.A lack of resources, perhaps in spite of good efforts. A poor harvest. The next phase may require a tightening of the belt, budgeting or rationing. Delay or blockage with new cycle. Immaturity in a physical/material matter. A lack of physical readiness for the next phase. A rift with nature - attempting too much control over...a natural disaster destroying mans prosperity. Theft, someone else harvesting your crops.

What words of comfort do you need to hear R Lovers:  Face your conflicting beliefs - use your "free will" to examine and choose what beliefs you will accept. You achieve your sense of self worth from others or you recognize your responsibility to choose your personal reality as you desire it. Allow your inner, intuitive mind to guide you so that your ego can form and begin to function in the world. You cannot upset the natural drives within yourself - they are forces which must be recognized for what they are and dealt with the best you can. You can not evade, avoid or deny the way you are made. Your actions are causing others to feel unstable - seek a balanced expression of both the material and spiritual - combine your reason and imagination. When in a proper relationship - the total effect is called "grace". There is a descent from your Higher Self that completely engulfs your personality in a blissful feeling - you can tell you are experiencing "bliss" when little things move your "spirit".Your romantic immaturity and childish fantasies have involved you in a relationship which has become destructive. It is dominated by romantic or sexual addictions and this is creating difficulties for you in relating to other people. Indecision is not your friend. Seek that which represents the gifts of the spirit - apply to the "inner" principle and you will always get a true intuition for an answer. When you arrive at a higher level, there is never any need for display - truly generous people have no awareness of it - what they do is perfectly natural for them. Your Higher Self is always working and will eventually overcome any obstacles, as the complexities of a love affair resolve into a reciprocal working relationship of a permanent quality, flowing back and forth.

The knowledge that you seek Ace of S:  calls on us to not be afraid to make a leap if it's in our best interests. In short, bravery is called for. As the old adage says, "feel the fear and do it anyway." You have a good idea already of what must be done. The hard part is the doing of it. Start today.  Intellect - true perception and mental clarity - your mind is balanced, receptive and has moved through doubt and confusion into expanded awareness. The beginning or successful completion of mental matters to the highest standards. New concepts or proposals. Intellectual fulfillment, perfection, blessings - awards for mental achievement. Clarity of thought. Peel away the masks now - cut through the "illusions" and analyze what needs to be done using your logic. Take the necessary steps to implement your ideas and actualize your important dream or purpose. Believe in your minds ability to be brilliant, let it shine through your passion and interest. "Judge" the pros and cons of various methods, research the information you need and cut through the unnecessary details. Keep focused on the point and develop your idea systematically. Success is now taking root - STOP WORRYING - this is the beginning of something new. Put all your energy into new plans and new ideas. Keep your thoughts on the happiness of tomorrow - you can make it happen if you want to.Wisdom leads you beyond the illusions and limitations to the spiritual truths contained within life. Intellect alone, without intuition - leads only to more illusion. You need LOVE if you wish to find spiritual truth. Your intellect takes you beyond the "immediate" emotional experience - truth and awareness come from a deeper level of spiritual values and experience, leading you back to Spirit. Your emotions are a "gift", they enable you to experience life intensely while they remain hard to hold on to and even harder to direct. Your intellect helps you pierce through the fog to give you a clear understanding of the real facts.You are highly analytical, rational, self-assured now. You have developed excellent communication, administration and teaching/learning skills. Intense focus on what interests you will bring insightful clarity. Trust your imagination - become creative - open your mind. Use your logical reasoning to put your ideas into a workable order, then refine them so that they appeal to others. 

Where you need to look R Moon:  Deception and illusions - emotional instability are blocking your clear vision. Take no risks now - there is the possibility of misunderstanding. Make no changes - be patient and trust that things will clear up if you wait. Do not waste your energies on arguments or disagreements - hold on to your point of view and be willing to see things as they really are. Control your emotions and the situation will right itself in your favor. Stop fearing the "non-rational" and settling for a life of stagnation and sterility - allow yourself to experience your fears and they will turn to wonders as the gateway opens to new adventures. Allow your unconscious to become conscious - stop fighting it - it will not be denied.The pitfall of over-identifying with humanity's suffering. It can indicate incomplete or inadequate accommodation of elements of the subconscious, such as the shadow personality alluded to in the description of the Devil. Lack of awareness of emotions. This would indicate an emotional "Achilles" heel. Behavior will be vague, erratic, illusive, impersonal, confused, unpredictable or uncertain. Here as with the Star inverted, you may feel a need for outside intervention.

What you need to learn Emperor:  To BE something, to KNOW something and to BE CAPABLE OF something is what endows a person with authority. Retain your inner balance now and from the exhaustless riches of the Limitless Substance - you can draw all things needful, both spiritual and material. Spiritually - aspire your highest goals, mentally - build according to a logical and practical set of plans, physically - act upon your goals and plans, emotionally use your anger to motivate you and you will achieve your visions.Reason is the function of your conscious mind - handle your affairs in a systematic manner and you will know concrete results. You will experience the wisdom and authority necessary to produce stability, solidity, organization and foundation. If you wish for Spirit to manifest itself, it is necessary for you to create a space of "emptiness" for Spirit to use to assist you in focusing on the truth and to achieve this, you must be willing to put aside your personal opinions. If you wish to receive a revelation of truth - you must put aside your personal development and allow yourself to be guided by the Master.God governs the world by authority - not by force. The Emperor owes his authority not to his power "over" human beings - but because he represents them before God - he has authority because he is human and represents all that is human and the more truly human you become - the more you manifest the "image and likeness of God". (Genesis 1:26) To write your own "constitution" - clarify your objectives and give meaning to your life. Accept the spiritual responsibility for yourself and do not shrink from your desires and passions. Once you have defined your goals - put all your powers and faculties together so that they become available to you in practical ways - then you can manipulate them in the direction of your heart's desire. Oversee your work to insure that it is solid. Your place in the scheme of things is to wake up to your specific reason for being here in this place and time. You come to know who you are, by learning who you are not. The imperatives of your physical body, the aspirations of your mind, the passions of your heart, the limits and opportunities of the world and the pull of your spirit, must all be represented and consulted in any decision-making process.  Recognize the power of society, its laws and its authority to enforce those laws - then order your thoughts and energies and seek stability as you allow yourself to experience wholeness and unity within yourself. You are entering a time of stability and order which will open you to creative energy. Maintain dominion over your mind, your emotions and your body. Continue to practice and make use of your "spiritual exercises" if you wish to awaken the deeper layers of your consciousness. Focus on achieving the state of concentration without effort, which is followed by "inner" silence. This "inner" silence becomes inspired thought as your conscious unites with the super conscious. Your conscious receives the inspired thought, then reviews and summarizes it. The aim of "spiritual exercise" is depth - what a person KNOWS is the result of personal experiences - while the "depth" and extent of that knowledge is what you have "in common" with others. It is only after having asked, sought and knocked - having received, found and gained - that one truly KNOWS.

Childhood fears R knight of C:  Look before you leap - get the whole picture - half truths can promote difficulties in any relationship. When you allow yourself to "feel" only what is pleasurable you may be denying your "inner" self and your reality. You have mastered your desires - take advantage of your emotional energies. Be willing now to simultaneously move forward and let go - move your relationships in new directions that are emotionally enlivening as important emotional issues are resolved.You are experiencing a negative reaction to the increased demands of the world upon you - you are a passive person being pushed towards action or commitment and you do not like it. Without "outwardly" resisting - you still resent the demands being made of you. This attitude can result in a wall between yourself and the people who are making you act out your responsibilities and if you allow it to continue - it can result in manipulation, lies and tricks.

How did they influence your past 9 of C:  Expansive happiness of the body, mind and spirit -fulfillment, emotional satisfaction. You have learned to compromise, to release your worry and problems by concentrating on simple ordinary pleasures. Manifest your potential - you can now create your own reality with the gift of your creative imagination. You have successfully faced all the terrors on your path home and your wish can now come true. Enjoy the deep and quiet inner contentment that comes with attaining your goals. There will be much happiness - your future is assured and material gains are now possible. You will experience good health and a sense of well-being. Life will seem easier as your worries disappear and new plans materialize. You have learned to come and go from your unconscious with ease, to work with your dreams and intuitive techniques and you can now visualize what you desire with such clarity that it comes into being. You have the resources and the knowledge to nurture others along the same path you have traveled, for you now recognize that nothing serves you better than a simple good time. Let your contribution fulfill you - "feel" the spirit of life as you create with your talents and manifest your magic.

How they are affecting your present R Emperor:  The reflection of your conscious mind formulates the beliefs of your sub-conscious mind. You structure your experiences by establishing organized patterns of thought through which you collect the beliefs which you think are reasonable and rational. These beliefs form the "framework" in which your experiences are tested and "laws" are generated here - there is a resistance to change, as you enclose yourself in a "reality" that has been created by the reflection of your intentions and focuses. Your reasoning mind directs and focuses your feelings and imagination.Remain strong - always seek a positive direction. Plan and work each day - concentrate on your self-discipline. Take the time to understand the motives of the people around you - focus your energy on "cleaning house" and removing the things you do not want in your home. "Benevolence and compassion" result in the development of new life, even in a stormy desert - but if taken too far - it can signifying immaturity or the inability to make harsh decisions and carry them through.

Childhood hopes 6 of swords:  A difficult cycle is ending - allow it to phase out now - quietly pass through it by setting your sights on the future. Look at things the way they are - not the way you want them to be. Think with an open mind. Investigate all the possibilities. You are experiencing an unpleasant, frustrating situation - sever yourself from it and you will know peace of mind and harmony, like the sunshine after a storm. You are making great progress now. Recognize that everything is relative to one's viewpoint and communicate in a non-threatening way that will allow other people to consider new ideas, thoughts, beliefs and attitudes from perspectives that they have not yet considered.You carry your troubles with you, have adapted to them and they no longer represent a heavy burden to you. Blessed with the gift of support in adversity - the ability to stick with someone when their luck has run out or help them through difficult times and transitions to new phases - you maintain a personal perspective and mental tranquillity during times of turmoil. You are willing to "cross the water" to see the other persons point of view and in resolving arguments you "lay all the swords on the table" in order to achieve clarity and unruffled communications. You now recognize that by staying calm, you waste neither energy nor opportunity.

Influence past knight of swords:  Brainstorm new thoughts without judgment or censorship. The inspired mind does not want to be limited, restricted or restrained in any way. A mind which has newly mastered creative-intuitive thinking has good intentions, but its attitude can be a little overbearing. Eagerness suggests innocence - one who has never lost a battle and still directs all energy outward - one who has yet to face the "fear" of being quietly alone with "self". You can expect to feel the strength of this mind now - it will help considerably as you move through this difficult period. Someone favors you - they will defend you and promote good vibrations.Focus all your energy on making your point - communicate your thoughts, philosophy and ideas. Speak out and tell people how you feel. Each new moment creates an opportunity to fulfill ever changing needs. Be assertive and courageous - your faith will overcome any fear through the energy of your emotions. Release yourself from this confining or suffocating situation. Express your emotions and allow the power of these emotions to release you as you rise to the emotional level of your situation. You may "feel" inner conflict - but your emotions are beneficial and will be clarified once you have severed yourself from this negative situation. Allow yourself to experience the "true" situation - there is support available. Formulate your idea into a workable solution, apply your thinking - test your idea out and measure its worth.

Affecting present R Q of P:  Find joy in the simple things: a sunset, a child's laughter, a good meal. This will help you keep your center.  It is time that you recognize and accept your need for stable, nurturing relationships in your life. Begin to release the people in your life who find it difficult to trust anyone. The fear of failing can make a person quite changeable. Soon they develop a suspicious nature and lack any motivation - which causes them to be lazy and neglect their responsibilities. This results in nervousness and confusion - they become afraid, mistrustful of others and even begin to doubt their abilities and their value as a person.Trust yourself - focus all your energy on utilizing your abilities to manifest beauty, health and fulfillment in specific, practical ways in the areas of your life where it is needed and necessary. Focus on your meditation, on grounding your emotions in natural things, ordinary pleasures and satisfying work.Irresponsible vs doting. Disregard for nature vs extreme interest in and identity with environmental factors. Abuse of material items. Bad money manager. Recurrent health problems versus the health fanatic.

The person your hopes and fears built R Page of C:  Following an "inclination" - acting without thinking or allowing your immediate desires to seduce you, particularly if they go against your common sense - like making a promise you can not keep or a commitment that does not mean anything to you, can lead to making mistakes. Avoid being over powered by disturbing visions. The sudden emergence of psychic talent, even if deliberately sought through training - can "appear" very frightening. These visions only mirror your fear - reminding you to remain calm and grounded to reality.Trust and believe that the obstacles in your life will soon be removed and you will see things in a new light. Make a conscious choice to believe that things are changing. You always respond emotionally to the receipt of any information. If you wish to control your situations, you need only prepare yourself for this emotional response. Always seek that which is loving and realistic. You abandon your own feelings when you allow yourself to repeat old patterns. Fully experience your feelings, become emotionally vulnerable. Emotionally "let go" and allow yourself to love deeply - this will release your fears of abandonment and loss.

How to use fears to grow stronger R Hermit:  You are creating too much resistance, refusing to accept or listen to good counsel and this is creating the tension you are experiencing within yourself. Do not allow your "ego" to get between you and your good, common sense. Swallow your pride, stop your activities and take the time to think things over. Make your plans carefully before moving forward - be receptive to the times when you see that there is a lack of communication. Recognize that you may be consciously trying to cut yourself off from others -trying to tell yourself that no one seems to care. You are only avoiding the responsibilities of doing something with your life when you hang on to meaningless activities or try to imitate enthusiasm. Change your attitude and things will begin to look better. You can not soar like the eagle you are, when you are bound up in a cage. Become involved in life again. It is not your outer circumstances that must change, but the way you look at them that makes the difference.  There is nothing wrong with having a need for some time alone - don't be afraid to take it. Problems can arise, however, when one spends too much time alone or is too fearful of being around other people or being vulnerable to them. Life is about vulnerability.

How to use hopes to move on in life Ace of P:  The physical/material beginning of things - the ultimate and successful completion of physical/material matters to the highest standards. It is time for you to ground your creative energy into material gain, contentment and the fulfillment of your hopes, wishes and desires. Allow yourself to experience the ultimate balance - mental, emotional, spiritual and physical success resulting in a joyful life. Bring together all your internal and external resources and talents. Everything is great now and successful ventures are possible if you start with a good foundation. You have the stability and skills required to get results. You can silently visualize your hoped-for results, decide how to use them in a new way and then stubbornly keep at it until you see it in final form. Experience the fruits of your labor - it is your spiritual work which leads you to recognize the magic in normal things. Move beyond that to an even greater knowledge. When you are ready, the Gateway will always open to the truth. You will receive important information soon. Set your goals, plan how to achieve them - then act on your plans. Nurture them with patience - complete the task and reward yourself.Perfection, blessings and good fortune. Excellent health. The possibility of new business ventures or a new physical regimen. Accept your physical prowess, your superiority. Experience your independence and self-sufficiency - your ability to provide, to produce. It is time for you to express your greatest physical potential.

The person you could be R 9 of W:  When the 9 of Wands reversed comes up, it is important not to "beat yourself up," if you find your mental, emotional, or physical strength waning. None of us can be perfectly strong all the time. Allow yourself to lean on someone or something positive, and know that your strength will return. Everything is a cycle.  Your defenses have failed - your problems grow too great for your strength to hold them back. The barriers you have created to protect yourself are becoming your cage. You are giving away your self-responsibility. Seek a different approach - recognize now that your old habits make you inflexible. You have risked so much to get this far - be fearless now and move forward in relative safety. It is time for you to take your next step - take the fences down. Listen to your guides and trust your intuition. "Act" on your inspirations. Carry your experiences with you and release your fear of moving on. Do not bend under adversity or display weakness in your attitude - fight for what you believe to be right and true. Trust that you have the deep internal resources necessary to resolve any issues that might arise now. Implement your strength in those areas which will allow you to work more effectively in both the personal and professional arenas of your life.You are weighted down by the structure of your belief and support systems. You are too idealistic. The extensions of self at this point may have made you too heavy. This may show the impact of a top heavy, overly bureaucratic, spiritual organization. The image of an overweight monk comes to mind. This could show spiritual smugness, complacency - spiritual conceit. In a sense, this is quitting before you get to the end of the path, because it feels so good in this place that you do not want to leave. Also spiritual fatigue.

Harsh truth or reality R 5 of W:  you have a real need to believe in and trust yourself now. If something or someone doesn't pass the "smell test" to you now, trust your instincts. However, no matter what happens, be hesitant to escalate conflict or to take irrevocable steps. Don't be hasty, no matter how angry you get in coming weeks.  Deal with your frustrations - these feelings of being restricted, contained or held back. When you are confronted by differing ideas - it creates confusion over what you are doing - your battle then lacks organization and unity. You need the cooperation of others if balance is to be achieved. See if the problem is your own conflicting beliefs. Adjust and reassess this situation - seek cooperation and move towards the creative endeavors that will allow you to express yourself fully. Maintain your balance - concentrate on finding a concept that will bridge varying beliefs and allow you to co-exist with others which will create new vibrations of peace and love. You will feel the sense of harmony which will create exciting new opportunities. Prepare your mind now - allow yourself to enjoy the generosity and attention you receive from others. Awaken to your self-awareness and release your confined spirit.New - The mind is a strong influence and here its negative effects include: attachment to old forms with an attendant defensiveness to new input; a temptation to over rationalize the issues. Spiritual recklessness, carelessness, restlessness. Non-conformity to your correct spiritual group, guides - the reluctant student. Moral dilemmas. Amorality. Difficulty with challenges of the path. On the one hand spiritual apathy, on the other unnecessary spiritual forays.

The support for your delusion R 7 of W:   The reversed 7 of Wands can point to a feeling of anxiety. If you are feeling anxious, try to get to the root of why you might be feeling this way, and what you can do to make a difference. Sometimes anxiety is alleviated by taking action. If you need help dealing with your feelings or with taking action, don't be too proud to admit it.  When you achieve a position of leadership, there will always be others who crop up to challenge you. You will have to face the jealousy of those who want what you have. You will encounter situations when it will "appear" that everyone is against you - be realistic about the odds you face. "Feel" the strength within you, don't allow fear to discourage you - recognize that your position is always stronger than you think it is. Never be indecisive or allow yourself to sink into anxiety or depression. Come to a clear course of action and your self- confidence will return to overcome the anxieties and outer problems. Always have complete trust in your "inner" voice. Remain patient, make no unwise decisions - do not feel threatened, for you are never alone.Paranoia. Unnecessary precaution or hesitation. Lack of sufficient conviction on professed beliefs. Cowardice.

the sweet in the bitter 4 of C:  Be sure that you are "counting your blessings." Don't spend too much time in self-pity or wishing your life away. A lot of life has to do with where we put our focus. Put your focus on the things and people in your life that you have to be thankful for. Consider a gratitude journal.  If you wish to experience emotional fulfillment - re-evaluate things. You have become bored, you are in need of motivation. You are not making any effort because you have become dissatisfied with your achievements and the things of this world. Allow things take their natural course - trust in God to create the necessary changes and allow this situation to be, so that it can regenerate. Rest and meditate and you can receive insights and messages from your unconscious.You are seeking a spiritual level of satisfaction. You feel weary and disgusted with your present circumstances. Your intuition has been halted by your lack of focus or sense of purpose and this indulgence in your emotions has led you to dissatisfaction and exhaustion. Go slowly now in any emotional matters - your apathy has resulted from a dull, unstimulating environment. You are bored only because your curiosity has not been piqued and your project has become meaningless to you.Anger is great energy - use it productively. Use your frustration to help you move forward - convert your anger into progressive energy and use it to understand what you fear. Take this time to be with nature - observe its natural rhythms and you will be rejuvenated. Remain open to the new opportunities that life is offering you now - they will lead to happiness and satisfaction.Centered, you are serene in the knowledge of your emotional blessings. An emotional/creative plateau that will serve as your foundation. Emotional stability and confidence. Healthy acceptance and love of "self". Primary relationships are under control and supportive of your desires and needs. You know the love you need will always be there. You manage your talents well. Friendliness, faithfulness, loyalty and trustworthiness - trust and respect. Peace of heart.

Number Meanings

0 - Zero Zero symbolizes nothingness and emptiness. You are experiencing a void in your life. The symbol may also share the same significance as a circle and thus denotes infinity, eternity, completeness, absolute freedom and holiness. Alternatively, the dream forewarns that you are going around in circles and headed nowhere. Perhaps your actions have been counterproductive. It also represents timelessness and the super-conscious. TOP 1 - One One stands for individuality, autonomy, leadership, originality, confidence and the ego. To be number one means that you are a winner and the best. Alternatively, one signifies solitude or loneliness. It also stands for a higher spiritual force. TOP 2 - Two Two stands for balance, diversity, partnership, marriage cooperation, soul, or receptivity. It can also symbolize double weakness or double strength. The world is seen as being made up of dualities and opposites, as in the male and female, mother and father, light and dark, heaven and hell, yin and yang, etc. TOP 3 - Three Three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, creativity, energy, self-exploration and experience. Three stands for a trilogy, as in the past, present, and future or father, mother, and child or body, mind, and soul, etc. Dream of the number three may be telling you that the third time is the charm. TOP 4 - Four Four denotes stability, physical limitations, hard labor and earthly things, as in the four corners of the earth or the four elements (earth, wind, fire and water). It also stands for materialistic matters and how you get things done. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on being "for" a position. In Asian cultures, the number four is a metaphor for death. TOP 5 - Five Five represents your persuasiveness, spontaneity, boldness, daring nature, action, and humanity. The number five represents the five human senses and thus may be telling you to be more "sensitive" and be more in tune to your senses. Alternatively, the number five may reflect a change in your path or that you need to alter your course. It is also the link between heaven and earth. TOP 6 - Six Six is indicative of cooperation, balance, tranquility, perfection, warmth, union, marriage, family, and love. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual states are in harmony. It is also indicative of domestic bliss. TOP 7 - Seven Seven signifies mental perfection, healing, completion, music and attainment of high spirituality. The number seven may also refer to the seven deadly sins, the seven days of the week, or seven chakras. Alternatively, the number seven indicates uniqueness and eccentricity. TOP 8 - Eight Eight stands for power, authority, success, karma, material gains, regeneration, and wealth. When the number eight appears in your dream, trust your instincts and intuition. Alternatively, the number eight may be a pun on "ate". Perhaps there is some information that you need to digest. TOP 9 - Nine Nine denotes completion, closure, rebirth, inspiration, and reformation. You are on a productive path, seeking to improve the world. The number nine also symbolizes longevity. TOP 10 - Ten Ten corresponds to closure, great strength, and gains. It also refers to the law or to the ten commandments. TOP 11 - Eleven Eleven stands for intuition, mastery in a particular domain, spirituality, enlightenment, and capacity to achieve. It is symbolic of your creativity and your vision. Since the number 11 is represented by two parallel lines, then it may represent two individuals or a partnership. If you turn the 11 on its side, then it symbolizes the equal sign. Perhaps you are looking for some balance and equality. TOP 12 - Twelve Twelve denotes spiritual strength and divine perfection. It also represents cycles and repetition. TOP 13 - Thirteen Thirteen is a paradoxical number which means death and birth, end and beginning, and change and transition. It is symbolic of obstacles that are standing on your way and that you must be overcome. You must persevere and work hard and persevere in order to succeed and reach your goals. To many, the number thirteen represents bad luck. TOP 14 - Fourteen The number fourteen signifies the unexpected and your need to adapt to ever-changing circumstances. It is also symbolic of overindulgence and how you are giving too much into your desires. You need to show more restraint and maintain focus on your goals. TOP 15 - Fifteen Fifteen represents a dissolution of difficult conditions. Your problems will soon disappear. TOP 16 - Sixteen Sixteen symbolizes innocence, naivet�, vulnerability, and tenderness. It also indicates some spiritual cleansing and destruction of the old and birth of the new. Alternatively, the dream may represents a coming of age for you. Consider the significance of "sweet sixteen". TOP 17 - Seventeen Seventeen symbolizes soul. TOP 18 - Eighteen Eighteen symbolizes the conflict between materialism and spirituality. It also warns of treachery, deception, lies, and selfishness. Alternatively, being eighteen means your gateway to adulthood and the responsibilities that go along with it. TOP 19 - Nineteen Nineteen indicates independence and the overcoming of personal struggles. You will find that you often have to stand up for yourself. This number also suggests your stubbornness and you hesitance in accepting help from others. TOP 20 - Twenty The number twenty indicates that you are in need of support. Perhaps you are feeling withdrawn and isolated. The dream may signify having 20:20 vision. You are seeing something more clearly now. TOP 21 - Twenty-One The number twenty-one represents a turning point in your life and your full transition into adulthood. It is also associated with the responsibilities that you need to own up to. Alternatively, twenty-one suggests that you will be lucky at a game of blackjack. TOP 22 - Twenty-Two Twenty-Two denotes your mental capacity and knowledge. It also indicates that you need to be more goal-oriented and practical. TOP 23 - Twenty-Three The number twenty-three implies that you are a people pleaser. It also indicates that you have lofty and/or unrealistic goals. You may be too idealistic in your beliefs and thinking. TOP 24 - Twenty-Four The number twenty-four symbolizes rewards, happiness, love, money, success and creativity. It also refers to your associations with people of high position and power. The number may be telling you that you are being too arrogant in love or in success. Alternatively, the number twenty-four may imply time, as in 24 hours or all day. TOP 25 - Twenty-Five To see the number twenty-five in your dream indicates that it is time to move on from a problem or issue. You need to stop dwelling on things. TOP 26 - Twenty-Six Twenty-Six symbolizes the earth and karma. TOP 27 - Twenty-Seven Seeing the number twenty-seven in your dream refers to unconditional love and commitment. You give all you can to help others. TOP 28 - Twenty-Eight Twenty-Eight signifies easy money. It may also share the same significance as the number 10. TOP 30 - Thirty The number thirty implies superficiality. You or someone is not being genuine with their feelings. TOP 32 - Thirty-Two The number thirty-two implies that you are emotionally numb. TOP 33 - Thirty-Three Thirty-Three represents high potential and spiritual awareness. TOP 34 - Thirty-Four The number thirty-four refers to your perseverance and intellect. You have learned from your past mistakes and experiences. TOP 35 - Thirty-Five Dreaming about the number thirty-four means you are set in your ways. It can also refer to a lack of harmony in your waking life. TOP 36 - Thirty-Six The number thirty-sex refers to you inhibitions. TOP 39 - Thirty-Nine The number thirty-nine, symbolizes understanding, thoughtfulness, meditation, and mental superiority. TOP 40 - Forty Forty denotes that time is on your side. It is a period of cleansing, preparation and growth. TOP 42 - Forty-Two Forty-two relates to the attraction of opposites. TOP 44 - Forty-Four Forty-four refers to a sacred union or divine marriage. TOP 50 - Fifty Fifty stands for all that is holy. It also represents joy and celebration. Alternatively, the dream represents your fair share of something, as in 50:50. TOP 60 - Sixty This number is associated with time. It may refer to time running out or longevity. TOP 70 - Seventy Seventy signifies completeness and perfection. You are enjoying life. TOP 76 - Seventy-Six Dreaming about the number 76 suggests that your ideas or plans will come to fruition. Your hard work and dedication will pay off. This number is also symbolic of your spirituality. TOP 80 - Eighty The number eighty in your dream points to success and realization of your goals. You are moving ahead in life. TOP 99 - Ninety-Nine The number ninety-nine implies that there is some misunderstanding in your personal relationship. TOP 100 - One-Hundred One-hundred implies perfection as in 100%. Appearance of this number in your dream also means that you need to give it your all in whatever you do. TOP 666 To see the digits 666 in your dream represents the devil and all things evil. Its appearance in your dream may point to some illicit activity or some wrong doing. TOP 777 To see the number 777 in your dream symbolizes luck and perfection. Things are going in your favor. Alternatively, it is referred to as the number of God. You will overcome evil. TOP 911 The appearance of this number in your dream, symbolizes an emergency. You need not be afraid to ask for help. There is an important lesson to be learned from in your dream. To dream that you call 911 and no one answers or that you are put on hold suggests that you are being taken for granted by some authority figure in your life. Alternatively, the dream is like a wake up call where something you didn't think was important or urgent actually requires your immediate attention. TOP