#its so little but its so much like yeah buddy that IS tom hanks so true lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ithacamafia · 6 years

Text

Yule Shoot Your Eye Out, III.

Another year, another holiday playlist from Matt and Kevin! Just like seasons past, when we brought you tidings on the original “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” -- or the cleverly-titled sequel, “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out, Part II” -- we close out 2017 with another 20-tracks of sleighbells, snow, and cool yules.

Without further ado, I’ll let Matthew take us away: “Kevin. I think I may have told you this before, but I've always considered the first time I saw this Corona Christmas commercial as the unofficial beginning of the Holiday Season. Don't know why - but it's true. This year marks the first time that was in the other room, here sitting at my desk, and just hearing it activated that thing within me that launches my spirit into holiday mode. That lone whistling of Oh Tannenbaum... it just triggers something in me - like when Reggie Jackson has to kill the queen in The Naked Gun.

‘I. Must. Be. Jolly.’ ‘I. Must. Be. Jolly.’

I know that we've been down this road a few times before - and that many of the standard voices (and perhaps all of the standard songs) have been heard. On top of that, you're busy with a bi-coastal lifestyle that I'm sure is pulling you in all the different directions a guy can be pulled in. So, I propose to you a NO PRESSURE holiday music update mix. No need to be clever in your presentation - like you can help it, I know - we just make sure that each other are aware of any songs/versions we may have missed in the past iterations of this mix.

So here: Yule Shoot Your Eye Out, A Holiday Mix: Part III.

I've decided to start this mix with the same song that kicked off our first one. When you picked it then, I challenged that anyone not named Bing who chose to sing this song had to have some kind of chutzpah - you know, a brashness, an audacity... guts to take on a classic. You want brashness, audacity and guts? I give you Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings and their take on White Christmas.

Hee-haw and Merry Christmas, buddy.”

(Liner notes continued after the break...)

Matthew,

Nothing could make my time out west go better/faster/stronger than hitting the mix links with you. HOLIDAY mix links, at that. Ho. Ho! Ho. When I left the house at 4am this morning on the way to the airport, rest assured that the “Holiday Traditions” station on SiriusXM was playing. And you damn well know it was probably Wayne Newton or Bing or one of the many, many, many Christmas songs that we've heard ten thousand times before (yet always enjoy that 10,001st listen when it comes on the radio).

That's part of what makes The Holiday Song so indelible. Whether it's an old rendition, whether it's a breathless Sharon Jones version -- or whether it's a new song that still sounds like an old song -- it feels familiar. It feels like home. It feels like Christmas. All over again.

Which makes this selection hit all the harder: "Christmas All Over Again" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Kev,

Sharon Jones into Tom Petty had me initially scrambling to find a song from another recently departed artist... I quickly realized though, that is not a road that we need to go down. After all, Christmas is a time to focus on more positive things. I'm not saying that we can all take December off and pretend that our country isn't going to hell. I'm just saying that Christmastime is a time where we can all say, "Man, there are so many things to feel badly about, I sure as shit am going to make sure that I appreciate the things I have to feel good about. The President might be leading us all down a dark hole, but at least I have my family... and this fireplace... and a candy cane... You know? At least I have Ms. Kelly Clarkson."

I have never made excuses for my Kelly Clarkson affection and I'm sure as hell not about to start now. She's alive and well and she's bringing all kinds of joy with this little number. Here's "Christmas Eve" by Kelly Clarkson.

Kelly Clarkson is not someone you ever need to make excuses for, Mack. Definitely not with me. To this day, I maintain that "Since U Been Gone" is one of the greatest pop songs ever written. The sashaying, swaying rhythm of this tune is tops. Solid pick.

I'm slowing down a bit and handing things off to a gentleman who I've recently come to have a much deeper appreciation of. I always knew he was a talent, and an unrivaled humanitarian -- but aside from a few catchy tunes, I didn't listen to much of his musical catalog. Thankfully, Spotify allowed me to remedy that situation. So let's bundle up by the fire, turn the light low, and relax to the hopeful, heartful stylings of Harry Belafonte. "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day."

=====

Well bud, you know I’m fine with slowing it down a bit. I’ve long voiced an appreciation for those more pensive Yuletide moments, where only the perfect fireside song can be your soundtrack. Of course, Harry Belafonte hits all the right emotional and melodic notes. Nice pick.

I’m going to stay in this same groove, and I’ll keep the artist classic too. Like Belafonte’s I Heard the Bells, this one doesn’t go out of its way to hit you with anything too big. Nope, we’re happy at this point to just have classic voices delivering careful interpretations of songs to light our way.

Here’s Rosemary Clooney doing her best Charlie Brown with “Christmas Time is Here”.

Sigh.

Being stuck out here in the west and having skies literally filled with flames instead of snowflakes (although the ash is a fairly convincing simulacrum), makes the season tough. I know Rosemary presents a convincing case for why Christmas time is here... but, honestly?

I just haven't been feeling it.

Then a friend of mine reminded me that Christmas is something different to everyone. It's this whole collection of little things all smushed together, each part forming the heart of "Christmas" for each person. You know, like Voltron.

Am I wearing short sleeves and sweating in December, Matty? Sure. Am I resigned to catching those tiny little ash-flakes on my tongue, and stuck making angel shapes in the charred remains of the Los Angeles hillsides? Yes.

But hey, maybe that's What Christmas Means To Me now.

Just like Stevie Wonder said.

Phenomenal choice... that song is so great. Simple. Classic.

And I hear what you're saying, about how a lot of little things together form what Christmas means to each of us. It's like the thing that I was saying about the Corona commercial... or how I just know that some night this month I will stay up late watching It's A Wonderful Life and end up crying unashamedly on my couch. Or how for some reason my family always has a Creme de Menthe pie on Christmas. All those little things. And each year, the things from before mean more and there are a few new things that get added.

I don't know how many Decembers in your lifetime are going to feature ashy snowflakes, but I'm quite sure that there will be some things that stick with you after your December in LA. (Please note my refusal to reference this month as your first December in LA.) California has a lot to offer, I'm sure. And for nine months out of the year, the weather there is head and shoulders above anything we see up here. The late Fall in the northeast though? This is Christmas Country, my man. The crisp air. The occasional snowflake. A proper sweater. Ain't nothing like it.

I'm sure you miss it. Still though... this is all part of your Christmas evolution, right? So as you continue to develop what Christmas means to you, please (oh please), won't consider the benefits of a Holiday in LA (Band of Merrymakers).

Confession time: I miss sweaters the most.

Here, it's all short sleeves for outside then sling on a sweatshirt for inside because the buildings are as iced cold as Frosty. I yearn to wear a sweater soooooo badly, but a good sweater is not something you can just throw on and off willy-nilly. Unless you’re an animal.

So yeah, I guess you're right. I'm just going to have to be resigned to the fact that this December -- this HOLIDAY in LA -- is an experience that I must learn to embrace. I mean, they've got the decorations, they've got the lights, and they've even got the Santas... Hell, I'm going to a Christmas Cookie Decorating Party tomorrow -- that's how into the season everyone out here is...

But I'll be damned if I don't miss seeing my breath. Or sitting by a fire.

And until I can go home for the holiday proper and stick my slippered feet underneath the tree to hand out presents, I'll just have to make sure I do everything within my power to simply have a Wonderful Christmastime (The Shins).

You can do it, bud. I mean - think of how many great Christmas movies were shot right there in California. You've got Nakatomi Plaza right there! Bedford Falls is Encino!

My pick is a song that we've heard before. I'm on the record with it being one of my faves. I'm picking it here because this version always feels very cinematic to me. It feels like the beginning of some holiday in New York, romcom. You know, the opening credits scene... the one where Tom Hanks or somebody is walking home through the city with a bunch of oversized bags and packages? There's a dusting of snow so he's bound to slip and drop something and then drop something else when he picks up the first thing. Sure the song has a few lulls in it, but that just opens up space for him to chat with the friendly newsman who will later provide him useful information on the whereabouts of the woman. You know the woman! The one who he heretofore has had a very adversarial relationship with but has just realized that she's been shielding a heart of gold behind that hard as nails exterior? It's the beginning of that movie.

It's got two voices that, for me, are what Christmas is all about. It's got it all. Christ, this song even has some bona fide Pennsylvanians!

It's Go Tell It On The Mountain by Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby with Fred Waring and his Pannsylvanians.

I love that flick!

Especially the part 2/3rds of the way through when he makes some sort of romantic/charming gesture that goes completely tits up, and now she's wicked angry and/or upset with him. So there they sit -- in their respective apartments -- trying not to think about one another. Him, curled up with a blanket and eating a pint of ice cream while losing his sorrows in a comforting Christmas flick. Her, on a fifth bottle of beer (judging from the empties littering the floor around her), just bounding a rubber ball off the wall as her trusty dog watches with a forlorn look on that shaggy face.

A classic. How will they ever get together? How will they get past this seemingly insurmountable gulf between them? They're like oil and water... and what sort of future could oil and water ever have together???

Might as well just stay in, listening to Ray Charles and Betty Carter, because Baby, It's Cold Outside.

Kev, Ray Charles sounds great. Betty Carter sounds great. The arrangement sounds great. But it's 2017, bro. And while I hate to double up on a song... I feel like a more appropriate version may be called for here.

Let's give Lydia Liza and Josiah Lemanski's update a listen. Here's Baby It's Cold Outside.

Matty.

Gotta come clean here: I was 50/50 on whether I should just turn the rest of this jam into a dueling "Baby It's Cold Outside" mix -- but then I couldn't stop smiling by the end of this new version and lost my train of thought.

And then I just surfed the internet for a while, trying to figure out stuff to put on my Christmas list. As a grown man, naturally, I have everything I could ever want in life (health, family, yadda yadda yadda)... but I've still gotta scrounge up Santa some suggestions for my stocking. And while socks and a few little nip bottles of booze would be grand -- maybe this year I could give into one of my greater desires. Maybe a life-long Christmas wish (I mean, Mr. Johnson already got my unrealized childhood Star Wars dream gift).

So maybe just put it up there on the list this season.

I mean, sure, it won’t come true. I know that. It can’t happen. It’s not “realistic” or “feasible” or “legal.” But hey... Christmas is for wishes, homie.

Gotta try.

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas. As told by Lake Street Drive.

If anyone can make this dream come true for you, bud, it's Santa. That guy works miracles. Me? I don't have to make any Christmas wishes this year, because mine just came true. A Christmas carol by Lake Street Drive? That was the only thing on my list. Great pick.

Honestly, if I had a Christmas wish, here's what it would be: everybody in the world would be happy just like me. And Taj Mahal. And The Blind Boys of Alabama. Merry Christmas!

Someday At Christmas, everyone will be happy.

There’ll be no war. All our dreams will come to be in a world where all men are free. No hungry children. No empty hands. No tears. No fears.

One shining moment where all our dreams will come to be -- hate will be gone, love will prevail. A new world, (sung by Melvin "Blue" Franklin, the incomparable bass voice of The Temptations).

Someday.

Maybe not in time for you and me, brother - but someday... at Christmastime. I mean... it's possible. Totally possible.

I'm determined to make this a very Charlie Brown Christmas mix. My next pick makes it so. I don't know what it is about this one that appeals to me. I like the stripped down, bare vocal. I'm definitely a fan of the sweepy strings. There's also this lingering sadness in it that lends itself to any holiday where I spend time with my wife's extended family... Dammit, I'm not being authentic. These are not truthful statements... I know exactly what it is that I like about this version of this song. It's the start, the choral, "Oh my God! Here he is!" It's the musical version of the Jesus is coming, look busy joke. I mean, it still gives you all that other stuff I mentioned - but it's the prologue that touches my heart.

Here's Hark! the Herald Angels Sing by Penny and Sparrow.

Matt, you know darn well that the Charlie Brown Christmas album is something I could listen to on repeat 24-hours a day for the entire month of December. And November. And January. I love it like no other.

So it's saying something when I suggest that a new version like this can affect my coal-sized heart in a way that comes even anywhere close to how the Vince Guaraldi Trio does.

So, hell, I'm gonna double-down on the CharBrowChris portion of the night, and drop a variant of Linus and Lucy by Bela Fleck and the Flecktones.

Kev,

In a world that gives us so few real honest-to-God sure things to count on, there's a part of me that really relishes the fact that I can always know - beyond the shadow of any doubt - that I am going to get tense about the end of these mixes. My worrying about the songs that will ultimately be left off is like an old friend who stops by to visit at Christmastime. You know, the one who always brings a plate of cookies to your parents' house because they started bringing plates of cookies around to their pals in 1982 and now they don't know how to stop. My concern for songs left off is like that. It's at the point now that not only do I feel it, but I think I end up writing some variation of this email every time. Fa la la la la.

There's a lot about this pick that gives me pause. The fact that their Spotify bio touts the artist as "...one of the brightest lights on the Contemporary Christian Music scene..." is enough for me to start running in the other direction. And there are other worthy songs... Songs by beloved artists... Songs that I really like... I could pick those - probably should pick those. I mean, these guys are from Florida. It's gross.

But this song... it feels right. I don't want to like it. I resent all of its wannabe Big Bad Voodoo Daddy earnest energy... But then again, I mean, look at my toes. Those little bastards are tapping like a sumbitch. I can't control it. And honestly, in my heart of hearts, the 1990s in me knows that I don't really want to control it. I want to submit and swing dance with Heather Graham while wearing a Santa hat. Go daddy-o, I guess.

Here's O Come All Ye Faithful by Tenth Avenue North.

You've got two picks left. I've got one. Let's try not to screw this up any more than I (probably) just have.

Cripes. This all went waytoofast.

No time to overthink things. Just gotta go with the flow. And sure, you might’ve tossed me a curveball (sending me spiraling back into a late-90′s Swingers mindset, with their retro-hip cule yules).

That said, newsflash: I’m a pro. I can handle it.

Everything's jake. Nothin' around here to snap your cap at. But mark my words, chrome dome: if we're gonna swing, then we best start cookin' with gas.

So do yerself a favor and grab your stompers before you head out on that dance floor... because this next tune -- this actual, genuine, bonafide swing -- is the real deal.

Time for Swingin' Them Jingle Bells with Fats Waller.

Stompers? Chrome dome? Who's Jake? I'm Jake? I don't think so. I'm Matt.

Bud, I have no clue what you're talking about, but if you mean to imply that Swinging' With Them Jingle Bells is a likable tune that we can dance to as Christmas approaches, then I am with you. You've done well by yourself on this mix.

I've been thinking about it and I feel that my anxiety around my previous pick was because in my heart of hearts I always knew what my final pick would be. That second to last one was the one that had question marks around it. This one, this last one, was predetermined by the stars... and this is the time for stars, pal. Now yes, this song has caused a bit of strife among my immediate family. They think it's strange. They're put off by all the talking. They don't like that nothing jingles. Me? I like the groove. I like the idea of superimposing a toast about friendship being the wine of life. This one feels to me like the end of Christmas. When everything starts to settle down but there is still that distant buzzing feeling you get after a jam-packed day of family/food/fun.

Here it is. Here's Chasing Christmas by The Superimposers.

Merry Christmas, all you shining stars. Merry Christmas, World.

What's... superimposed?

Definitely see how that one might unlock strife within your family (I’m sure it’ll elicit the same reaction from my own fam, too). But I have found myself picking up what you’re putting down on this song. There's something ethereal and odd about it, but at the same time... reassuring? Comforting? Like the great big "Dad" of the universe is reclining in a cosmic lay-z-boy and waxing poetic by the crackling fireside at the end of a long day.

I'm a little worried they'll say a bit too much -- go a bit too far -- if he keeps talking, but I can't help but enjoy the sound of their voice.

And if that track was the end of Christmas, this next one is simply the retrospective. The encore. Once you're flipping through the photos and taking down the decorations and putting all the new toys away, melancholy begins mixing with the joy.

Next year seems so far away, everyone will be that much older. Honestly, how many more Christmases will we all have together? Who can say? So, we can't help but savor what we've had here this year. Who we've given our hearts to.

We keep looking back at Last Christmas.

And if there's someone who gives their heart in everything they do, it's Frank Turner.

Ho ho ho, everyone. See you next season.

#mixtape #playlist #spotify #holiday music #cule yule

1 note · View note

thezachrogers · 7 years

Text

The top 50 films of 2016 cont...

(added 9 more films, top 59) - revised 4/3/2017 *chuckle* *chuckle*

Okay, Okay, I see what’s happening yeah, you’re face to face with greatness…

Ladies and gentlemen, the TOP 25 FILMS OF 2016 (from what I saw)

32. Florence Foster Jenkins 4 Stars (86% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7/10 on IMDB)

31. Paterson 4 Stars (95% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.6/10 on IMDB)

30. La La Land 4 Stars (93% on Rotten Tomatoes 8.9/10 on IMDB) Watch it on Redbox, not worth spending your hard earned money in the theater.

29. Kubo and the Two Strings 4.5 Stars (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8/10 on IMDB) This was one of the darkest animated theatrical films I have ever seen; more so than The Nightmare Before Christmas. The voice acting cast is definitely the most A List of the year with Matthew McConaughey, Charlize Theron, and Ralph Fiennes. The kids need to be a little older to watch this one.

28. Disney’s Queen of Katwe *family film* 4 Stars (92% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.3/10 on IMDB)

27. Fences 4.75 Stars (94% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8/10 on IMDB)

I ranked this film so low because I did not necessarily like it. Denzel Washington and Viola Davis both gave outstanding performances and most likely one of them, if not both will win the Golden Globe and/or the Academy Award. The content of this film was super dark and there really wasn’t a story; just a whole lot of dialog. I imagine it would be a better Broadway play (as seen above) than a movie. It is rated PG-13 but families, if you want to see this film, it is not for the kids. There were two families in the theater I watched this in and the film has a constant use of the n word. Kids do not need to see this. Wait for rental for this one, not worth seeing in theaters.

26. Captain Fantastic 5 Stars (82% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.9/10 on IMDB)

Incredible movie about modern hippy living. I unfortunately know someone who lives like this with his family and it is so sad to watch these people’s lives unfold. The world is progressing, not regressing and this film reveals the harsh realities of what these families go through. These people are not happy, they are just running from what is in front of them, the kids get little glimpses of what REAL LIFE is like and they want more, and that is okay, yet the selfish parents don’t let these kids have the opportunity to have any sort of reality and attainable success. I hate knowing that people actually live like this. I love that this movie brings awareness to it. Keeping kids from medicine and starving them IS CHILD ABUSE. Period. There is no way around it. This movie is rated R for language.

25. Sing Street 4 Stars (95% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8/10 on IMDB) now on Netflix

24. Loving 4 Stars (89% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.1/10 on IMDB)

23. Eddie the Eagle 4 Stars *family film* (80% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.4/10 on IMDB) now on HBOGO

22. Blood Father 4 Stars (89% on Rotten Tomatoes, 6.5/10 on IMDB)

21. Hunt for the Wilderpeople 5 Stars (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.9/10 on IMDB)

Feel good movie of the year. Was definitely a sleeper. Beautiful Cinematography of New Zealand and Sam Neil’s best performance to date. Watched this film on New Year’s Eve and I am glad I did! Now available on hulu and redbox!

20. The Edge of Seventeen 4 Stars (95% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.5/10 on IMDB)

19. Deadpool 4 Stars (84% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8.1/10 on IMDB) From 15 to 1, these are all the movies you should have seen in theaters or missed out on. If you can catch ANY of the below films in theaters, DO IT. #rantover. Anyways, this is an R Rated Comedy. Fortunately, I watched a limited censored version on FXX. But I'm telling you, go read the parents guide on IMDB. Again, parents this is an R-Rated comedy for graphic violence, language, and full on nudity, DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS TO SEE THIS!

18. Sully 5 Stars (86% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.6/10 on IMDB) Watched this on Redbox last week, one of the five films I wish I saw in theaters in 2016. Tom Hanks and Clint Eastwood definitely got snubbed of Golden Globe nominations. One of Hanks’s best performances. Shove it in there with Forrest Gump, Captain Phillips, Saving Private Ryan, Philadelphia, Bridge of Spies, Cast Away, Saving Mr. Banks, Catch Me If You Can, The Green Mile, Big, Apollo 13…never mind.

17. Deepwater Horizon 4 Stars (84% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.3/10 on IMDB) On DVD Jan. 10

16. Arrival 4.5 Stars (94% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8.3/10 on IMDB) Interstellar and Inception made love and conceived Arrival. What a freaking movie. Amy Adams is currently nominated for the Golden Globe, I don’t know why for a Sci-Fi film, but its probably because of Denis Villeneuve’s directing. This movie has me so amped up for Blade Runner 2049 and the second installment in the Sicaro franchise. See this movie while it is still in theaters and let your mind be blown!

15. Manchester by the Sea 5 Stars (96% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8/10 on IMDB)

Read review here.

14. Disney/Pixar’s Finding Dory 5 Stars *family film* (94% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.5 on IMDB)

It’s the sequel to Finding Nemo, do I need to say anything else?

13. Marvel’s Doctor Strange *family film* 5 Stars (91% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.9/10 on IMDB) I have this filmed currently ranked #3 out of the 14 Marvel films. It is Benedict Cumberbatch at his best. Might be the most psychedelic movie I have ever watched. GO SEE IT IN THEATERS IN IMAX 3D NOW

12. Disney’s The Jungle Book *family film* 5 Stars (94% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.6/10 on IMDB) Jon Favreau is a freaking genius. A-List Ensemble voice cast is superb. You will fall in love with Neel Sethi (Mowgli) and be in awe of the beautiful imagery in this movie. One of the best movies I saw in theaters in 2016. Now available to watch on Netflix.

11. Hell or High Water 5 Stars (98% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.8/10 on IMDB) Hate that I missed this one in theaters. I like to call this one “The Finest Hours 2″ since Chris Pine and Ben Foster are a duo in this film as well. This is a thriller that keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire movie. Rent on Redbox immediately!

10. Everybody Wants Some!! 5 Stars (96% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.1/10 on IMDB)

Another movie I missed in theaters. 2016 was such a great year for sleeper comedies. So many underrated comedies and too many overrated comedies came out in 2016. This is Richard Linklater’s 80s College follow-up to the 70s High School cult classic Dazed and Confused. Definitely a lot of great up and coming stars in this film. In about 15 years we will look back at some of these actors’ careers and this is the film that will be their launching pad, I guarantee it.

9. Lion 5 Stars (86% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8.1/10 on IMDB)

8. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 5 Stars *family film* (85% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8.1/10 on IMDB)

My favorite movie of 2016, obviously. This film is also my #2 favorite of the nine Star Wars theatrical films falling to The Empire Strikes Back. I was never old enough to experience the original trilogy in theaters and I think this was the closest I will ever get to that. It took me back to that world of the 1977 original film. Rogue One takes place just moments before the original 1977 film. Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin (1977 original characters) play major roles in this film which is the biggest takeaway of this movie. Other cameos of older characters from both the original trilogy and the prequel trilogies will make all the fanboys go nuts. Go see this movie now before it leaves theaters. I know I will.

7. The Revenant 5 Stars (82% on Rotten Tomatoes and 8/10 on IMDB)

The most gruesome and realest film I have ever seen. This 3 time winning Oscar film is deserving for every award and nomination. The role of Leonardo DiCaprio’s career, he goes on a manhunt for the man who murdered his son, based on a true story during the post colonial times in America. This is a buyer for blu-ray.

6. Eye In the Sky 5 Stars (95% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.3/10 on IMDB)

Alan Rickman’s final film of his career (rest in peace). This realistic modern warfare drama is all about the hardships of drone warfare. It’s not as simple as pulling a trigger and flying a ship from a cubicle. Go rent this one on redbox now.

5. Captain America: Civil War 5 Stars *family film* (90% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8/10 on IMDB)

Clearly Marvel does not have enough good villains to spread across their cinematic universe, so they had to do a third Avengers film and title it as “Captain America”. This is the film we all wish Age of Ultron was. More Vision plus we got Ant-Man and our new Spider-Man! Great buyer for bluray. Hands down the best MCU film so far in the franchise.

4. Disney’s Moana 5 Stars *family film* (95% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8/10 on IMDB)

2016 was just Disney’s year. 16 films and they were all outstanding. Moana shines as one of Disney’s best animated films to date. Dwayne Johnson is now in the family as one of Disney’s best and most lovable characters. All brand new and original music from Hamilton’s Lin-Manuel Miranda. I cannot get this soundtrack off repeat since I saw it. Go see this film with the entire family now!

3. The Nice Guys 5 Stars (92% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.4/10 on IMDB)

One of my top three all time favorite comedies. It is now up there with Wedding Crashers and Dumb and Dumber. Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe together in a comedy!? I know, I know, but it works. Filmed in Atlanta, this buddy comedy takes place in the 70s during the rise of the porn industry about a murder of young porn actress. Co starring Kim Basinger and Matt Bomer. Rated R for Mild Nudity and Violence. That’s really it though, no sex scenes and not much graphic language, just a bunch of laugh out loud hilarious dialog between the two costars. ANOTHER ONE I MISSED IN THEATERS! Go rent on Redbox now!

2. Hacksaw Ridge 5 Stars (87% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8.2/10 on IMDB)

Read review here.

and the best film of 2016 is…

1. Disney’s Zootopia 5 Stars *family film* (98% on Rotten Tomatoes, 8.1/10 on IMDB) I have a new all time favorite animated movie. It’s called Zootopia. This really was just Disney’s year. This movie is filled with adult relatable humor with Breaking Bad and The Godfather references. Anybody will love this film. I bent over laughing, I cried, I sat on the edge of my seat, this was the movie Sing wishes it was, but it just wasn’t. Now available on Netflix, this movie will forever be on “My List” Well that’s it everybody, that’s my top 50 of 2016. Please don’t crucify me for not seeing Manchester by the Sea or Hacksaw Ridge, I know, I know, I will see them soon. Stay tuned for my 2016 worst 10 and the movies to keep away from that I know NOT TO WATCH from 2016. I hope y’all enjoyed!! Feel free to share!

#2016 #movies #2016movies #rogueone #moana #zootopia #arrival #lalaland #deadpool #fences #kubo

1 note · View note

castanews530-blog · 6 years

Text

One of the first short stories I’ve written...

Does The Coyote Ever Win?

You are like the Sun

With your smile being its rays

Beaming brightly and like a

Thompson Submachine Gun

It rips through my dark clouds

Of sadness and

Makes all my days.

I hope this isn't cheesy

Like a Packer fan at Lambeau field

But I really like you

And I’d like to be your boyfriend.

I gave this poem to my high school crush. The paper, once crisp and fresh from the binder, was crinkled and stained from age. The message however, was still fresh from the heart.

“Hey man, I think I like like a girl,” I confessed to my buddy, Tico, the day before I gave it to her. The lunch bell had rung and people squeezed out of classrooms towards the cafeteria or little food carts that were stationed just outside the cafeteria. People were with their cliques. Jocks in their lettermans howling in laughter over some penis joke, preppy girls covering their mouths in shock over some gossip, and geeks having a debate over whether Batman or Superman was better. We were under a shade of a tree, waiting for the rest of our friends to meet us there. He was tall, yet lanky. He carried a constant look of ogle on his face, as he checked out every female that walked by him. I was a little shorter than him, lean and handsome, although at the time nobody could convince me of this.

He dropped that look and his eyes widened.

“Really?! Who is it,” he demanded to know.

Having never shown much interest in women, he constantly made jokes about my sexual orientation. I was not surprised he was surprised.

“Well,” I slowly started to sputter, “I-I kinda like Lyd-Lydia.”

“Her!?” he squawked with his jaw agape in confusion. “You’re joking, right?”

“What wrong with her?”

“Everything bro. She doesn’t have an ass or tits.”

“That’s not all a woman is.”

“Yeah it is.”

“Ok, maybe to you, but there’s more to a woman than that. There’s their personality, their character, and how they really make you feel.”

A voluptuous girl passed by and Tico gave her an eyeful. I did too.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I know how she makes me feel and it isn’t hard to figure out even though it’s literally hard.”

“Really? Is that all you think about, asses? Have you ever seen Forrest Gump?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well, what Forrest and Jenny had, I want that. That bond they had together. Did you not see the beautiful moments they had together?”

“No, I fell asleep halfway through. It was a hella long movie.”

I gave up. Nobody seemed to be interested in deeper connections to each other. Especially him. The only connection he was concerned about was the one that happens between genitals of the opposite sex.

“Then what’s so special about her? Is she easy?”

“I don’t want her for that. She’s an amazing person, always smiling and bringing cheer to everyone when she high-fives everyone. I just want her to be with me like Jenny was to Forrest.”

“Hey, didn’t the Jenny girl avoid him for most of the movie?”

“I thought you fell asleep through the movie!”

“Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

“Nevermind that. I have been trying to figure out how to get her to like me.”

“Just ask her out.”

I was stunned. It had been on my mind for awhile.

“I can’t just ask her out. I haven't even talked to her besides saying hi and goodbye. I gotta talk to her first, right?”

“Just ask her out.”

“That’s it? That’s all I have to do? She’ll be my girlfriend if I just ask her?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“I don’t know, don’t I have to do something cool, like be good at some sport or be really smart that I can teach the class, or if ninjas came to kidnap her, I’d use some hidden kung fu ability in me to kick their asses, save her and ride off into the sunset?”

“You don’t even have a car.”

“That’s not the point, but still. All I have to do is ask her?”

“Hmm, if you don’t believe me then why don’t you write her a love letter.”

“Really? That works?”

“Yeah, I think it will. Girls like honesty or some shit like that.”

It started to make sense. It was perfect. I was a pretty good writer, even though I had never written any kind of poem before. If I could masterfully use my words to show her my feelings, then she’ll be by my side the moment she finished reading my passionate and romantic poem.

Later that evening I immediately went to my room. At my desk, littered with old papers and doodles, I searched my bag for a pen and some binder paper. The old stuff on my desk was cleared and expecting to start pumping out my amorous epic, I stared into the paper.

My little brother then knocked on the door.

“Hey, that movie you like is on TNT!” he informed me.

“Which one?” I responded still staring at the paper.

‘The one about a guy named Harry and how he met Sally.” He answered.

“Oh, I think I’m gonna skip it for tonight.”

“Really?” he voiced with an air of bewilderment, “You always watch those cheesy movies! Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok. Leave me alone.”

“Can I play the PS3 then?”

“Go for it.”

Suddenly animated, he ran to the living room.

Finally I convinced myself that whatever comes from my mind will be honest and true so without fear, I wrote nonstop for 30 minutes.

After 30 minutes, I told myself: She is gonna love it.

“Bro, she is gonna hate it .” I said the next day.

“Nah, man she’ll like it.” He was reading it and giggling.

“Then why are you laughing bro?”

“Nah man, you’re good. It’s fine. Make sure you give it to her.”

Lydia hasn't come in yet and I had to make a move. I made up my mind.

“Bro I don't think I can do this.” I said as I started to put the letter away in my backpack. Tico then abruptly reached in and snatched it.

“ I’ll do it.” he said as he rushed to Lydia’s desk.

“No! Wait!”

He left it on her her desk and when he got back to his respective seat, he gave me a double thumbs up.

“Hey!!!!” a shrill and feminine voice squealed out. Lydia had walked in. My face suddenly filled with the cold air of anxiety.

With black hair that she kept in a bun, she had soft hazel eyes, with a tranquil look. But her mouth was brimming with a smile as she greeted everyone joyfully. Her petite skinny frame walked around the class, making her rounds to say hi to everyone. She approached me and with that clarion voice, semi screamed out, “Wiley!!! What’s up!!!?”

“Um…. hi.” I managed to mumble out as I timidly smiled back. She smiled back and walked on to her desk while saluting the classmates on her way there.

As Lydia walked over to her desk, my face went from cold to hot as it sweltered up. I foresaw all the scnenarios that could occur. Maybe she will read it and smile at me across the room. Maybe she’ll read it and look at it in disgust. Maybe some sweet savior was gonna pull the fire alarm as a prank and as everyone would leave the room, I would snatch the letter and rip it up.

Lydia spotted the letter when she got to her desk. She put down her bags, picked up the letter and started reading it as she sat down with a serious look on her face. I could not bear to look at her reaction, so I just scoped on the teacher for the rest of class, never looking at Lydia’s direction.

When class finally ended, I was already out the door and free from a blundering disaster.

“Hey, Wiley!” a shrill voice resonated in the hall before students started to fill it. .

I stopped and looked back. Lydia stood there with the poem in her hand. She had a stoic stare.

“Hey, uh, Lydia.” I stammered out. I slowly walked towards her. I briefly looked at her eyes then away in angst towards the floor. Then I looked at her again.

“I read your letter,” she told me, looking at my eyes. Her face was not enthusiastic nor was it disgusted.

“Oh yeah? Um,....what… what did y-y-you think?” My heart was beating as if it was trying to get out of my chest like some Alien creature. That would have been preferable.

She took her time to find her words and with a fresh smile, she chimed, “Well, Wiley it was very nice!”

I saw hope.

“But I don’t really think of you that way. I really appreciate the letter, though.”

The hope was stomped on.. I was done. I had to transfer to another school. Another county. Another state. Mars was a possibility.

“Oh yeah, I mean,” I jittered, “that’s fine. I-I-I….,” Words could not leave my mouth. Visibly trembling, I looked up and took a breath.

“ ...had to try, you know,” I blabbered off as I turned and ran away. I could never face her again.

I spent the next 3 years in self-imposed exile. I spent my lunches in the band room where it was desolate of people, save for a few people practicing their instruments. I never talked to Tico again, since he was responsible suggesting and giving that poem to Lydia. I didn’t hang out with anyone. My evenings were filled with homework and early 90’s Tom Hanks romcoms. I still yearned for my Jenny, my someone to meet on top of the Empire State Building. But the fear of bungling another attempt to talk to a girl crippled me, until prom season came around.

Everywhere I went on campus, someone was asking someone else to prom. Some guy was able to get an extra large pizza with PROM? written on it with pepperoni. Another guy wrote it on his car. One guy simply got on top of the roof and screamed it out. I admired all these efforts in envy. I had to get a prom date. So as I went through one school day, I scouted for a girl I can like.

In one of my classes, I was sitting in my desk, browsing at all the females in my class. I was too afraid to make any move.

Suddenly a tap on the shoulder broke my concentration, and I turned around.

“Can I like, borrow a piece of paper?” said Liz, my classmate behind me. She had black hair with streaks of blonde. Chubby yet buxom, I found her sexually attractive, but she put on an overkill of make up. Her lips were bright red and her blush made her skin look like pastel. She also had a reputation of being easy, as I remember Tico telling me three years ago. But I decided to take the plunge.

“Um… yeah… sure, hold on, let me get it,” I suddenly said, “So… how’s your day going?”

“OK.” she guilelessly replied.

“That’s good.” I responded. “It’s pretty hot out there, huh.”

“I'm actually cold.”

“Oh really?” I nodded my head in search of a different topic, “You know… I’m wondering if you would… you know, like come with me….. um I mean…. if you would like to…. you know… get…. some… coffee?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I was astonished. I had finally gotten a girl to go get coffee with me!

“Ok, great…. um let’s go to that one Starbucks near the grocery store?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s cool.” she answered back.

“Alright then, see you then.” and turned back around. The class was barely starting.

Later that evening, I was waiting at a table outside the Starbucks with two frappucinos. I had asked her if she liked frappucinos, and she simply replied with “yea”. A car pulled up and Liz exited it. She saw me and walked towards me.

“Hi” she said.

“Uh, hey,” I replied awkwardly at first, then quickly flashing the smile I had practiced in front of a mirror the night before. She smiled back and sat down. On a roll here.

“So I got you a caramel frappucino,” I told her, pushing the beverage towards her on the table, “I didn’t know if you liked whipped cream or not, but I thought that if you didn’t want whipped cream you could have mine which I ordered without whipped cream. Is that cool?”

“I don’t care.” she quaintly said.

“Oh ok, then I’ll take the whipped cream one. Unless you want it I mean, it’s totally cool if you want it.”

“It’s ok”

“Ok, then it’s settled.” and I took a sip of the beverage, while looking away from Liz.

“So what are you doing after you graduate?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, I see. Do you like, want to go somewhere?”

“Not really.”

“Mmm, that’s cool. Say have you got a prom date?”

“No.”

“Oh that’s interesting.”

“Yeah.”

I took another sip of my drink, and kept sipping for 10 minutes in silence.

“So I have to go,” Liz then said, “My mom only brought me here so she can shop and she’s done.”

“Oh that’s cool,” I said, then as she was about to get off from her seat, I hurriedly added in, “but-but hey maybe we could a movie on Friday?”

“Sure.”

“Great, I’ll see you then.”

Friday finally came, and I had decided to ask Liz to prom. Originally, I was going to get the movie theater to print out a ticket that said, Will you be my prom date? Unfortunately the employees could not figure out how to work the machine so I decided to draw my own ticket and have her find it somehow.

With the fake movie ticket on hand, I waited for Liz outside the theater. A drove up and Liz exited it. Said our hi’s and went to the box office to get our tickets.

Once inside the auditorium, we sat on the right side with all the lover seats of two. We were armed with popcorn and drinks. I was still trying to figure out how to indirectly give her the ticket. She was constantly grabbing and eating her popcorn. So when she was not looking, I slipped the ticket in the popcorn bucket and stared at the movie screen. I surveilled her from the side of my vision, waiting for her to find the ticket, smile and say yes.

Thirty minutes have passed and she was still munching away at her popcorn, but she was starting to slow down. I was starting to get restless.

Suddenly, I hear a gasp and then a puking sound. I looked over and she was choking. I got up and I tried to stand her up. She stood up but fell to the littered ground, gasping for any air. I tried to do what I thought was CPR. I put my hands on her chest and she looked at me like a pervert. I pushed down and she moved my hands away in suffering anger. Finally someone else jumped in and did it correctly. She coughed out a piece of paper. It was my movie ticket.

At the beginning of the last week of school, for some reason I decided to get there really early. At five in the morning I set off to school, with the sun barely beginning to rise. This caused the sky to look purplish, as if night and day were mixed together. I walked through the chill suburb, and crossed the main streets that were starting to grow alive with people going to their jobs, truckers leaving after shipping in the night and bums starting to wake up from the bus benches.

The school was empty at this hour. The sun faced the bench and glimmers of it were slowly hit it. I took off my glasses and put them on my lap. A pretty girl then approached me, and asked me for directions to a classroom. I promptly got up and showed her where it was. She thanked me and I went back to the bench, proud of the good deed.

I sat down and took a book from my backpack. Then realized that I did not have my glasses. I inspected the bench and they were not there. I figured that I must have accidently put them in my locker, so I went over to my locker and tossed it around in search of my glasses. I gave up and went back to the bench blind.

I noticed a person sitting on the bench as I walked over. It appeared to be a girl. I could not recognize her because of my Velma vision. Part of me wanted to go get my stuff and go somewhere else. But determined to learn how to talk to girls once and for all, I decided to engage her. I will make friends with this girl. It was my mission and I was going to accomplish it. It was Lydia.

“Lydia?” I astoundedly asked. Oh shit. Abort! Abort!!!! My mind rang out.

“Wiley!” she shrilled in delight.

“What are you doing here so early?” I asked.

“Well, my mom has work early in the morning and she’s using my car so I have to come to school at this hour.”

I chuckled, “This is funny. I never expected to see you at this hour.I never expected to see you at all!”

“Yeah, me neither!” she said. “Where are your glasses?”

“Oh, yeah, funny story. I think I lost them helping out a cute girl.” I said with a sly grin on my face.

Immediately she burst out laughing.

“That’s so funny. You are so clumsy Wiley.”

“I guess I am,” I chuckled.

As the sun began to rise and fully beam the bench as we engaged in deep conversation about what we had been up to.

We went to a Starbucks later that day. It was close to a supermarket, and the shoppers coming out were interesting looking characters. We made up stories about them. Middle aged guy with a shaggy beard was probably in Vietnam and if he talked to you, he would show you all his gun permits, tell you what he thought about Woodstock and go on a profanity laced rant about it even though you did not ask for it. A big lady wearing a nightgown with a cart full of cat litter. Most likely a crazy cat lady. Dude wearing a tight dress shirt, untucked, with slim jeans and dark shades even though it wasn’t even sunny, so he was most likely a axe spraying, womanizing douche. It beat looking at clouds.

She talked about how she loved golf, how she loved being a babysitter, and how close she was to her former middle school teachers. She was going to attend the same college as one of them.

I told her about my desires to help people too. How I wanted to be a lawyer and hopefully run for office. I admitted that I had my anxiety but I was willing to work on it.

For lunch the next day, we went to McDonalds. Lydia had her car so we would go through the drive thru. I’d order two McChickens and she would order a Happy Meal.

But we would also order twenty piece McNuggets for us both and eat them while she drove. I was the sauce man, holding the sauce for us both, while she, with one hand on the wheel, recklessly drove as she dipped and ate her nuggets. We were the fast food Bonnie and Clyde.

On a different night, we were eating at Panera Bread and I was enjoying my cheddar broccoli soup so much that I took the unfinished bowl with me without thinking when we left.

“Oh my god, Wiley!” She told me when we got in the car. “Did you just steal a bowl?”

“Oh Jesus, I did,” I said finally realizing what I did. “But it was so good!”

She stared at me with serious look, “Oh Wiley! You are going to get me in trouble! I am your accomplice!”

Oh no, not again. This can’t be happening again.

She then broke her stare and busted out in laughter, “Oh, Wiley you are so clumsy and badass!”

Oh thank you, sweet baby Jesus.

“Yeah, so that means you are just as bad ass as me since you are my accomplice!” I responded back, with a brimming smile.

“ Um, excuse me? I was already badass, ok?” he mockingly said, “Have you seen Pulp Fiction?”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty awesome movie!”

“Well, you know what Samuel Jackson has inscribed on his wallet?”

“Yeah, bad ass motherfucker,” I laughed.

“That is what we are! Bad ass motherfuckers! We are BAMFs!”

I burst out laughing because I could not believe that such words would come out of someone so nice and respectful.

High school ended and we were both shipping out of town for college. I was bound for UCLA, while she was heading off to an all girl school in Missouri. On the last day before she was to leave, we hung out at the Starbucks.

When she drove into my driveway to drop me off, I looked at her with a serious look.

“You know, this last week with you was awesome, especially because of you.” I said. “You are really the best friend anyone can have. You cheer me up with that smile, and make me laugh.”

She looked at me, and then smiled with tears starting to develop.

“Wiley, I want you to know that you are an awesome guy, and you have been so important in my life, but I am just not about dating or things like that. And also we are young, and heading off in different directions. We have to expand our horizons and meet new people.”

I looked her and smiled, with tears starting to develop in my own eyes. “Ok, I understand. I really appreciate you being my BAMF.”

And with that we hugged tightly in the car.

“I gotta give it to you though,” she said after letting go of me. “That was better than that letter.”

“Hey, now, you told me you liked it!” I joked. And with that, we said our goodbyes and off she was to Missouri.

I found the poem in her belongings up in the attic. She had the Panera bowl. Pictures of us that she took. A wave of reminiscence washed through me. After sixty years of being together, 50 of those years married and with four kids, I realized I didn’t find my Jenny. Jenny was hardly together with Forrest. I found my Lydia. I may not have had the smoothest record with women, but nobody ever takes the same exact path to get to where they are going or to get what they want. Every path is unique, just like my Lydia.

I left the poem next to her when she was buried. Although I may be sad now, I know I’ll see her again. She came back into my life that last week of school. She came back after college to be with me and get married. By now, I know it’s not a coincidence.

#lovestory #looselybased

0 notes