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#its making me feel worse than I was expecting
sequinsmile-x · 2 days
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Quality Time
She missed her husband, even though he was right there with her.
Part of the Love Languages series
-x-
Hi besties,
This is just...pure fluff really because that is all my brain was capable of after a very busy few days at work.
This is just these two idiots being idiots for each other.
I really hope you like it, as always please let me know what you think <3
-x-
Words: 3.2k
Warnings: pregnancy
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
It’s late when he gets home. 
He feels the tension in his shoulders start to ease the moment he steps over the threshold into the house, the sense of home washing over him as he closes the door behind him, locking out anything other than his family on the other side. 
He pauses as he turns from the door when he hears the low hum of the television. He checks his watch and frowns when he realises just how late it is, surprised that anyone is still awake. He walks towards the living room, a purpose in his step, and as he gets closer he realises it’s one of his wife’s favourite reality TV shows, something she’d sworn him to secrecy over when they first started dating. He half expects to find Emily asleep on the couch, slumped over with her hand pressed against her stomach after she’d lost the battle against sleep to stay up for him, but instead when he walks in she’d wide awake, her focus torn from the TV as he enters the room. 
“Hi honey,” she says, sitting up a little straighter when he walks over, one of her hands on her baby bump as she kisses him before he joins her on the couch, slipping under her legs as she raises them just enough for him to sit, “You made good time.” 
“Traffic wasn’t bad,” he replies, squeezing her foot, smiling softly when she groans in pleasure, “You didn’t have to wait up.” 
She shrugs like it’s nothing, like she wasn’t just shy of 8 months pregnant and constantly exhausted, “It’s okay, I wanted to see you.” 
He frowns, seeds of concern planting deep in his chest, her tone of voice, the way she was holding herself tightly, both of her hands on her bump as she absentmindedly drew patterns on it. 
“You’re tired. I wouldn’t have minded if you’d just gone to bed, I’ll be here in the morning anyway.”
She scoffs, unable to stop herself, hormones, exhaustion and irritation she knows he doesn’t deserve swirling in her gut, “Yeah, if you didn’t get called away for a case.” 
His concern for her immediately gets worse, the flowers of it taking up all the space in his chest, burning against his lungs as she tries to figure out what is wrong. She’d been okay when they spoke earlier, relieved even when he told her that they were about to fly home. It’s a flash of his past life, a momentary collision of his marriage to Haley forcing its way into his marriage to Emily. 
She’d never had an issue with his job, with their job, and she understood the unpredictable nature of it. Things had been different lately since she’d stopped going on cases with the team, he knew that, and he knew she missed being a part of it. 
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” 
She blows out a breath, embarrassment at her outburst colouring her cheeks, and she shakes her head, “Nothing. Sorry, I think I’m just hormonal,” she flashes a tight smile at him, “Your kid is ruining me.” 
He squeezes her foot again to get her attention after her failed attempt to deflect, his face nothing but kind as he looks expectantly at her, their promise to never lie to each other on the tip of his tongue, “Em…”
She looks down at her bump and clenches her teeth, desperately trying to stave off the tears she can feel pressing at the back of her eyes. Pregnancy had left her on a razor's edge, everything sharp and making her prone to breaking down at the tiniest thing. It was driving her crazy, irritation at herself that only ever seemed to make things worse, her head swimming with emotion she was trying and failing to push down. 
“I…” she says, clearing her throat when her voice wavers, shaking her head at herself as she chuckles humourlessly, removing a hand from her bump to wipe tears from her cheek, “I just miss you,” she says, wiping away another tear. She shrugs as she avoids eye contact with him, embarrassed in a way she doesn’t understand, her love for him overwhelming even after all this time. “That’s all.” 
“Em,” he says softly, moving closer to place a hand on her knee, squeezing gently as she looks up at him, his smile gentle as their eyes meet, “I’m right here.” 
She blows out a breath and rubs her hand over her belly as she feels the baby move, a constant reminder these days that she isn’t alone. She’d spent so much of her life chasing something exactly like this - a family to call her own. She had Aaron and Jack and the baby and she always would. 
She’d never be alone again. 
“I know. I think it’s because you’re going on cases and I’m not. I miss spending time just the two of us - which we never got a whole lot of anyway,” she smiles, an edge of sadness mixed in with the happiness as she reaches for his hand and places it on her stomach where the baby is kicking, “And we’re about to have even less of it.” 
She’d stopped going on cases earlier than she’d originally intended. Pregnancy had been much harder on her than she’d anticipated, the nausea in the first trimester giving way almost immediately to exhaustion when it faded away. She’d wanted to carry on, content to sit in precincts and work on victimology because it made her feel useful, like she was still contributing to the team, but Aaron and her doctor convinced her it was time to stay home just as she turned 6 months pregnant. She hated that they were right, that she felt better for it, and she mostly hated that it meant she saw less of her husband than she was used to. 
Since the start of their relationship, they’d spent practically all of their time together. It was clear from their first date that they were it for each other, a type of pull she knew she’d never felt before, her love for him overwhelming from even before their first kiss. They spent all their spare time together, she slept at his most nights - content to hang out with him and Jack until the little boy went to bed and then they’d get some time alone. Despite initially saying they wouldn’t, they snuck into each other’s rooms on cases before they told the team about their relationship. They were both aware that they slept better with the other there, a type of peace neither of them thought they’d ever experience again. 
She missed him. Their bed felt bare without him, their choice of buying a super king even though they snuggled, more than half the bed empty even with them both in it, feeling all the more absurd when it was just her and her pregnancy pillow in it. Occasionally Jack would sneak in and join her, his small hands on her face as he woke her to tell her he’d had a bad dream. She’d feel guilty by feeling relieved when she had him there with her, the little boy she loved as her own pressed up against her whilst her baby shifted under her skin. 
Aaron smiles softly at her, rubbing his hand on her bump for a moment longer before he links their fingers together and lifts their joint hands to his mouth. He presses a delicate kiss to her knuckles and it gets her attention, her eyes meet his again, and he tucks some of her hair behind her ear. 
“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “I miss you too.” 
Even though it was almost six weeks since she stopped going away on cases he still found himself looking for her, his eyes flitting around a room she wasn’t in to look for her reassurance, for the love she always freely gave him. He missed having her there, her smile sometimes the only good thing that would happen to him on a hard day at work. He found it difficult to sleep in hotel beds that she wasn’t in with him, her weight against his chest, her breath skipping across his neck as she slept, both as essential to him for a good night's sleep as a dark room and a decent mattress. 
She was his safety net. His port in a storm. And whilst he was excited for this next step in their life, close to desperate sometimes to meet their baby, to see the face he’d imagined for months, he knew he’d miss this stage. 
She smiles sadly at him and stamps a kiss against his lips before she rests her head on his shoulder, “Sorry I kind of ruined the mood the moment you got home.” 
“You could never ruin the mood,” he assures her, turning his head to kiss her temple. He tugs her in closer, a tightness in his chest that had been there for days easing now she was in his arms, and he feels an idea start to form, a smile spreading across his face as he pulls back to look at her, “Why don’t we go somewhere? Just the two of us.”
She hums, her eyebrows knitting together as she looks him up and down, “What? Like a babymoon?” 
He frowns, tilting his head as their eyes meet, confusion painted across his face in a way that she finds nothing short of adorable, “What the hell is a babymoon?” 
She chuckles and runs her fingers through his hair, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she tries to tamper down her amusement, “It’s a trip you go on before the baby comes. Pen was telling me about them.” 
He smiles and nods, “Then yes, exactly like a babymoon,” he says, not missing how her smile gets wider as he says it, “We could go to Virginia Beach. Get a rental right near the water. Spend some time just you and me before this little one joins us and life gets a lot busier.” 
She wants to do it more than anything, wants to spend some uninterrupted time away with him, something they hadn’t done since their honeymoon almost 8 months ago, but she sighs, the reality of their lives causing anxiety to spike in her chest. 
“What about work? We’re both taking some time off when the baby comes, I don’t want it to be a problem.”  
Aaron squeezes her hand reassuringly, “Em, we both have enough leave days banked to take a year off if we wanted to,” he says, smiling when she nods, “If you want to do this we’ll do it. I’ll book us a place to stay tonight.” 
She doesn’t have to think about it, doesn’t have to mull it over anymore and she nods, kissing him fiercely as she leans in. 
“Yes,” she says, kissing him again before she pulls away, “I want to go away with you,” her words disappear into a laugh as he pulls her in for a hug, her bump pressed up against his side, as he kisses her temple. She sinks into it, into him and wraps her arms around him, her cheek against his shoulder as she sighs, a relaxed feeling washing over her for the first time in weeks, “If you think about it, it’s perfect timing.” 
He furrows his brow as he pulls back to look at her, curiosity sparking in his eyes as she tries to suppress a smile, a hint of mischievousness in it that never fails to make his stomach swoop, “What do you mean, sweetheart?” 
Her smile only gets wider, “Well you got me pregnant on our honeymoon,” she says, shrugging playfully, “It seems like a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.” 
“Em.”
___
He knows they’ve made the right decision the moment they get to their vacation rental. 
She’s instantly more relaxed than she has been in weeks, a softness to her smile that makes him want to call up the owner of the beach house and offer to buy it off of him. 
“I can help with the bags you know,” she says, her eyebrow raised at him as he gets their bags out of the trunk of their car, her pregnancy pillow tucked under his arm as he shuffles towards the stairs leading up to the house. 
“I’ve got it,” he says, ignoring the strain in his back as he makes it up the stairs, smiling at her when she rolls her eyes. He sets down the cases and crouches down to press a kiss to her bump, “You’re already carrying the most important cargo.” 
She chuckles wryly and runs her fingers through his hair, fighting a smile as he kisses her bump again, “You’re ridiculous,” she says, shaking his head as he straightens back up, her gaze drifting to where her pillow was still tucked under his arm, “If you drop my pregnancy pillow I’ll kill you, and we both know I’d be able to - even if I am the most pregnant person to ever exist.” 
He clears his throat, well aware that whilst her threat was playful she’d be mad if she thought he was laughing at her.
“Yes, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her again before he digs through his pockets for the key to the house. He unlocks the door and pushes it open, his hand splayed on her lower back as he guides her in, “Why don’t you look around, make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get everything in from the car. The owner said his wife would leave lemonade and homemade cookies.”
Her eyes light up and she looks down at her stomach, already walking into the house before she replies, her focus on their unborn child, “Did you hear that, baby? Cookies!” 
When he’s done bringing in their things, the suitcases carried up to the bedroom and her pillow diligently placed on her side of the bed, he finds her on the back porch sitting in the swing, her gaze fixed on the ocean and the seemingly unending horizon. She turns to look at him as he steps out, her smile wry as he unfolds a blanket as he joins her, laying it over both of their laps, making sure her bump is covered, when he sits down. 
“It’s not even cold out,” she says, wrapping both her arms around one of his, her hand squeezing gently at his tricep as she lays her head against his shoulder. 
“I know,” he replies, resting his cheek against the top of her head, “But I’ve got to look after the two of you,” he adds, placing his hand on her bump, smiling at the movement of the baby, something that got no less amazing no matter how often he felt it, “So,” he says, kissing Emily’s forehead before he pulls back to look at her, “We have four days to do whatever we want.” 
She hums and tilts her head to look up at him, the reality of being here with him, the next few days stretched out ahead of them washing over her, “I’d like to say we could have a crazy amount of sex and barely leave the house,” she laments, “But I think all I want to do is nap, eat and sit right here with you.” 
“Then that’s exactly what we’ll do,” he assures her, resting his hand on her neck, his thumb tracing her jawline, “As long as I’m with you I don’t mind what we do,” he says, leaning in to kiss the tip of her nose, “And, I have it under good authority that a restaurant just down the street has to die for mac and cheese and they deliver.”
She moans, the sound turning into a delighted laugh as she closes her eyes, “You really know what a pregnant woman loves to hear.” 
He hums, kissing her forehead before he lets his hand fall back to her bump, “Maybe I just really know my wife.” 
She can’t explain the feeling that swells in her chest, threatening to pull her under as tears press at the back of her eyes. It was moments like this, moments when it was just him and her and their love for each other when she let herself feel the happiness she never thought she’d get, let herself bask in it. 
She wasn’t lucky, this hadn’t fallen into her lap. She’d fought for this. Fought to get here and sometimes she’d lost, tripped and fell as the battle seemed too much, but she’d made it here. Made it to him, and he’d done the same to make it to her. They’d endured so much apart, but she knew whatever came next, the good and the bad, they’d face together. 
She cups his cheek and rubs her thumb back and forth over his skin, “You’re the love of my life, you know,” she says, her cheeks warm with love and a hint of embarrassment, “I can’t imagine wanting to do any of this with anyone else.” 
“You’re the love of my life too,”  he says, and he places his hand over hers on his cheek and leans in to kiss her, “I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else either,” he says, frowning at himself when he says it, realising it sounds clumsy because he had done it with someone else. 
A shaky breath escapes him, her admission not new but unexpected in the moment, their conversation about her favourite pregnancy food suddenly turning into more. He loved her so much it hurt sometimes. It was different to how he’d loved Haley. They’d grown up together, had initially grown together and then apart, both of them still in love with a version of themselves that no longer existed. He and Emily loved each other for who they were, for what they’d gone through, and he knew he’d have it for the rest of his life. 
He sighs at himself and shakes his head, “I mean-”
“I know what you mean,” she says softly, cutting him off as she presses her thumb into his lower lip, “I’m glad we came here.” 
He rests his forehead against hers, “Me too.” 
They sit there for a few moments in silence, the only sound the waves crashing against the shore in the background. The moment comes to an end when her stomach audibly makes a noise that makes them both laugh, the baby almost moving in tandem. 
“I think baby wants some of that mac and cheese,” she says, leaning into his palm when he wipes away a stray tear that had escaped her lashline. 
He chuckles, pressing a kiss against her lips before he kisses her bump. He stands up to find the stack of take-out menus the owner had left out, but she stops him, her hand tight around his as if she didn’t want him to go, “I’ll be right back.” 
She sighs and relents, letting go of him before she winks at him, “Make sure to bring me some of those cookies on your way back.” 
“Anything you want, sweetheart,” he says as he steps back into the house, “Absolutely anything.” 
-x-
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cloudysarts · 3 months
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this show would be good if literally everything about it was different
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fishyartist · 27 days
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So mad about me just realizing the color pallet despite being in Sonic mode for the past like week
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crowtechs · 4 months
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sometimes i think the reason i am unable to talk about my self inserts or selfships is because of an ex friend from years ago. its always about their self insert and selfship (when we didnt know the term for it), it was always what would *their* f/o do... it was never on mine almost at all and if it was on mine it was always an afterthought or something. i genuinely never thought about anything of mine as vital. i mean yeah, i guess making it up as i went along was fun, writing silly stories and drawing silly art for my selfship was fun. but it just makes it so much more lonely than it should be
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delightfuldevin · 11 months
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It sucks how much people genuinely think that supporting something in a fictional context is the same as supporting that thing in real life :((
Like, do you people really truly believe that fictional characters are in any way equivalent to real life people? Do you understand how absolutely ridiculous that sounds?
“But they’re minors/siblings/victims/etc!” NO THEY’RE NOT. They are a figment of someone’s imagination that can have literally any traits you want them to cause fiction is something made to be manipulated for our viewing pleasure. That’s why AUs are a thing. That’s why headcanons are a thing. Cause fiction is meant to be manipulated for you to enjoy! You can’t have headcanons for a real life person. Because real people are not the same as fictional people. At least, I hope you don’t treat real people like they are fictional characters.
“But why would you want to ship [insert thing here]? It’s gross!” Okay, and? It isn’t hurting any actual real person, and it could even be helping someone who is using this to cope with their own trauma! And no, your personal discomfort is not a reason to completely delete content cause you can easily just block the tag/the creator and never see it. It is your responsibility to curate your own experience and if you are incapable of doing that, it is your responsibility to stay out of fandom spaces until you are mature enough to do so. It is not the responsibility of everyone else in the world to cater to your specific needs. You shouldn’t expect every single person to have the exact same needs as you and the exact same ways of coping with said needs.
“But groomers will use this thing to manipulate vulnerable people!” Indeed, that does happen. But it is not the fault of the person who made the content. It is always, and I mean always, the fault of the groomer themself. By saying “I was groomed by this content” you take away the responsibility of the actual groomer who did it. Don’t absolve them of their crime because of what they used for the crime. No matter what, it was always their fault and the responsibility of that is on their shoulders. Even if that content didn’t exist, they would’ve found some other way to groom you because that is simply who they chose to be and that is the unfortunate and sad truth.
It is completely okay to be uncomfortable with something! Grossed out even! Or something can be literally triggering for you. That is okay! And if someone doesn’t tag their content properly and it gets to you, you have every right to be mad about that! But that does not mean the person who made the content needs to delete what they made. You just have to block them so that you’ll never see their content again. You don’t even have to engage with them. That’s the beauty of the internet! We’re all strangers and once someone is blocked, it’s as if they never even existed! You’ll never meet them irl or be forced to interact with them. They are dead to you.
Also side note, but helpful information! When you block someone on Tumblr, their posts can still end up on your dash if someone else reblogs from them. Idk if Tumblr has changed this in the few years I’ve been gone, but a way around that is to add their blog name to your filtered content! That way, even if someone else reblogs from them, it’ll still be hidden from you :D
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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ice cream ✨always✨ makes everything better!!!!
#like today… i had a seriously horrible very bad day :(#so i went out to buy like $20 worth of ice cream and now both my wallet and heart feel lighter than before!!!!!#ok fr though i needa rant about my day here in the tags just to get it all off my chest in case i snap at the interns tomorrow lol#this morning one of the mfing titration machines kept giving wonky results >:(#so i just filled its stupid job queue thing with tons of repeats so that it could just run on its own while i did other things instead#then this intern came in and said ‘i’ll take care of these few machines!!!’ and yanked the probe out of the test solution…#all while the thing was still running ಠ‿ಠ and welp time wasted? time wasted.#and this other titration units kept giving invalid blank values for the entire day which sucked bc it was our best unit >:(#then this higher up lady checked the machine and found precipitates in the burette. yeah too bad she only found it like an hour before 5 ಠ‿ಠ#that machine worked properly after it was cleaned out though. as expected of our best unit~#but while those 2 units were deceased there were 2 other units that were up and running#except this random maintenance guy halted one of the unit’s runs to do some pointless check and wasted good ol’ testing time for nothing >:(#all’s fine! we still had one unit!! :)))) right??? :))))#…yeah no. while i was out submitting some results during the last hour of the workday the computer mfing restarted itself#i came back from the dude’s office to see the computer on the lock screen. ‘haha very funny who locked this?’ i thought as i keyed in the pw#oh *no* it restarted itself. while the units were mid-run. in other words the samples had to be re-keyed in、#the then-currently running samples had to be reweighed,and i still don’t know who restarted the computer >:(#to top it all off,that intern from earlier kept wandering over to pat my back and ask ‘are you okay?’#pls i literally hate human contact pls don’t touch me you’re making this worse ಥ‿ಥ#call me ungrateful but i was pretty close to snapping on her. sorry intern. you’re the capable intern too…#unlike that intern who dropped part of the equipment into the waste container while she was supposed to be washing it >:(#i hate titration soooooooo much :( i can’t wait to try out extra dangerous titration tomorrow :(#i get to play with acids this time i think? sounds like a recipe for disaster if you ask me—#anyway sorry if you read all that lmao. stay hydrated and eat tons of ice cream for a good time ok?#mona monday
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dreamcast-official · 6 months
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ugh.
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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I keep thinking about posting some of the lyrics I've written on here but I'm kinda scared they could get stolen. Idk maybe that's a little egotistical of me to think, like my lyrics are probably not good enough to be enviable anyway. It's just even though people might think they're shitty, they're *my shitty thing* you know?
Idk what do you guys think?
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disco-tea · 1 year
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.
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haunted-catboy · 1 year
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Good morning, all!! I have been overcome by incapacitatingly strong dread these past few weeks, & the power is still out!!
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vilelittlecritter · 1 year
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When I start drawing again properly,
I am so gunna draw sunny going back into the bathroom and consoling Basil about him leaving.
Does it make sense in the games narrative?
Fuck no.
Do I wish Basil was real and I could give him the biggest hug anyone has ever received?
Absolutely.
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tortademaracuya · 1 year
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Dont you love when someone says you are like family to them but also ignore you for months if you arent the one constantly seeking them out and the second they make plans with you they just stand you up
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weirdlizard26 · 1 year
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im so genuinely devastated by the fact that i go back to class tomorrow its embarrassing dfkgjdd ive been completely out of it for. weeks????? i couldnt enjoy the second half of my break bc i never stopped thinking about having to go back to uni im just aughhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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People call kazumaji one sided and theyre kind of right but i find it so funny to think if majima gets incapacitated one day and kiryu is walking the streets with an unloaded pistol in his belt (bait for frisking) like where is officer majima :(( he said hed be near the batting center ... because hes been so spoiled by the constant attention that when his stalker disappears hes like im so bored and alone ...
#Listen to my problems#i want to think of kiryu as spoiled because hes really been raised on so little .... just an excess of affection though. since hes always#‘the favourite’ i really think he tends to take for granted that hes majimas favourite which makes me fucking scream whenever i think of#saejima (seajima) receiving ALLLL of majimas undivided attention and getting orbited by him and he really returns that love with just as#much force as majima does ... kiryu looks at this and hes thinking Damn ! (bruno mars when i was your man starts playing). i really like to#think of this all the time because kiryu is absolutel and embarrasingly jealous but hes convinced that he didnt deserve all that attention#in the first place and it was kind of forced onto him but he never expected that majima likes someone else as much as he likes kiryu ?? even#more than that actually ??!! logically he knows that you cant just compare love like that but at the same time hes like hmph !!!! and then#spirals into the ‘ill see myself out then since im clearly unwanted’ pipeline#because once again kiryu cannot grasp that hes important to people and double somehow sees himself as easily replaced#its easy for him to help people hes never met of course ... you establish a rapport with a strabger and paint yourself as someone useful#eith zero emotional attachment involved ... but when it comes to your friends and family how do you speak to them :.: thinking avout when#nishikiyam was going to euthanise kiryu and broke down crying becsuse he cant snd hes like i still need you im nothing without you !!! and#kiryu was like. yeah. i feel the same way ... despite already pulling off some amazing stuff by himself while nishikiyama seems to be#stagnating .... use their own words on them because you cant come up with something true and beautiful on your own can you. cant say i dont#feel the same way either ... sorry this was supposed to be bout kiryu finding it difficult to imagine that someone whos established a great#deal of time and edfort in him suddenly takes interest in someone else worse that someone else was his og squeeze and YOURE the ‘other’#woman !! i really think kiryu sees majima hanging off saejima (seajima) and hes like i gotta go. say your last goodbyes yo will literally#never see me again adios. he cant even place the freling of jealousy because he thinks its nonsensical when hes laid no claim to majima in#the first place so he just attempts to amputate himself from the rest of the body and majima is like ?? we havent even had sex yet ??#all roads lead to kazumaji btw#wow i fell asleep before posting this last night but im still feeling it. i was right
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antimony-ore · 2 years
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Wish me luck on all my Cannibis Shop GM applications from today!
(Rant in tags lol)
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mainfaggot · 1 year
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Omg am i jealous
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