#its fun writing from poppys pov
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Omg yes!!!! I am a SUCKER for Hades and Persephone 100%😭😭😭here are some of my thoughts!! and boy are they a LOT!! You have no idea what kind of Pandora’s box just got opened in my mind lmaooo I am living for this idea!! I had fun writing this, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it💕
Now, I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to HOTD canon and what happens in the books, but I do know Aemond goes apeshit on the Riverlands literally breathing fire and death upon the people there. Which earns him the title of King of the Underworld, alongside the Kinslayer/One-eye title he already has.
Reader is the daughter of Lady Demeter, widowed, who is from a house with a very strong economical position (again I know basically jack shit about the hotd universe oop!!), because their lands provide a good portion of the produce, grains etc to the region/rest of Westeros. So from a political pov it's important to have access to them, especially during a war. Now bc this lady is widowed, her house' position becomes more and more fragile and in danger as the war goes on. She has so far done her best to remain as neutral for as long as she could, not swearing allegiance to anyone and trying to steer away from the Targaryen family fued.
Lady Demeter's only heir is the reader, whom she is very protective of. Demeter turns away all suitors because no one is good enough for her sweet daughter and she wants to keep her safe for as long as she can from the horrible world she knows that waits outside of their castle walls (so much so that she does her best to forbid her from straying away too far from their borders. Not in a mother gothel kinda way, but more like in a I’ve seen enough for the both of us and I know what women must endure, so I want to protect you from it kinda way.)
She does allow her daughter to educate herself, and encourages her to read and develop many skills so one day she can be knowledgeable as a lady herself.
Reader is very interested in herbalism, basically anything that grows on their lands, she wants to understand the agriculture of her lands and how to protect it/etc. She feels in her element when she is surrounded by nature, often spending a lot of time outdoors studying all sorts of flora and when she's not outside she does her research on the plants and herbs in her library
One day she strays away too far, unknowingly into the warzone, when she is interested in finding a particular plant she read about the other day
That's the day her path crosses with Aemond
It’s a “spoils of war” type of deal. The innocent princess taken by the Kinslayer on his mighty dragon.
At least that's what all the bards will sing about after she is abducted, but the bards don't know the truth.
Yes, he does take her. But that’s only after he comes upon her being almost SA’ed by a group of his own men in the middle of a meadow.
She will never forget that sight of him.
The dragon he rides upon eclipsing the sun entirely, its shadow cloaking the bright meadow as he himself descents from the beast like Death himself, dressed in black armor, the glint of the Valyrian steel of his sword catching the light as he hacks and slashes through his men with ease. There's so much blood, it rivals the poppies that are crushed under his feet as he walks towards her.
He flies her away to Harrenhal after she tells him who she is (and Harenhal by its descriptions and depiction on GOT would make a nice underworld tbh, esp since Aegon, the king/Zeus, basically tasks/”banishes” his brother to execute his will. Again idk much about canon but that’s how I envision it).
She is taken as a political prisoner to bend her mother’s will. Aemond of course trusts no one amongst his men after what almost happened to her in the meadow. His men are out for blood, on a rampage. Killing and pillaging anything they set their sights on (like soldiers do in war), and a beautiful girl such as her is an easy and desired target.
So he keeps her in his own chambers at all times. No one else is allowed around her, only a selected few like handmaidens and maesters.
This eventually sparks the rumors that he has forced himself upon her and has taken her to his bed, which spreads like wildfire throughout the kingdom for both friend and foe to hear, adding even more insult and injury to his reputation.
He and the reader are the only ones who know this to not be true. In fact, at first he doesn’t even come near her. He can tell she is afraid of him, because she cowers away any time he enters his chambers. It also doesn’t help that he has her practically chained to a wall at all times, but only for her own safety because she almost made it out of his chambers once.
He mistakes this for repulsion, because of his eye, because of his reputation.
And he doesn’t blame her.
Beautiful girls such as her aren’t used to such frightening sights such as him
Not knowing that she’s afraid of him because she has been told so many horror stories about the “one eyed demon who rides a hellbeast '' that she still finds it hard to trust him. Despite the fact he has saved her. And especially since she knows she is only valuable because of her title.
And also, because she was raised to be very sheltered, she is naturally wary/untrusting and guarded (despite the attraction/stockholm syndrome? she begins to feel for him).
At first Aemond dgaf about her or her feelings, or about any of the rumors that claim that he has forced himself upon the girl. Because it serves him; his reputation of a ruthless and cunning war lord is only strengthened (and isn’t that what he basically is now? His only redeemable quality being killing and seizing things? Ever the dutiful son who does the dirty work for the family’s sake).
That, and her mother is about to give in and align her house with his. Win/win for everyone.
And like I said I am a huge sucker for Hades and Persephone, which imo is incomplete unless pomegranates are somehow involved (I am also intrigued about this idea I read about that the seeds Persephone ate and which ultimately led to her being truly chained to Hades for six months aren’t like… Literal seeds of the pomegranate but uh, a different kind of seed.)
I kinda envision pomegranates being her country’s trademark thing (it is also on their sigil)
Aemond brings her one (after searching for hours upon hours on dragonback to find a tree which wasn’t totally scorched to death) when he notices she doesn’t eat much and begins to wither away, not even finding the strength within her to scowl at him like he is used of her.
He thinks that maybe seeing and tasting something from back home would lift her spirits.
He doesn’t understand when and how he started caring about the wellbeing of a political prisoner beyond making sure they’re sufficiently fed so that they stay alive long enough to serve his interests, but he does.
And he’s frustrated when he finds the pomegranate untouched, night after night, as he enters his chambers after a long day. The fruit is still sitting atop the same table where he had initially left it for her.
Until one night he comes into his chambers and he sees that she has stopped resisting.
He takes a look at the fruit sitting in the bowl, absentmindedly noting that he doesn’t remember ever having eaten it himself. He pops a few seeds in his mouth, *cough*six!*cough*, pleasantly surprised by the sweet taste.
He then takes a look at the girl, her chained wrists tucked under her chin as she is sleeping on her makeshift bed on the ground (he has given her his bed but she has always refused to sleep in it, despite the fact he has never once come near her, opting to sleep on a chaise longue in the other room.)
He feels a strange twist in his chest at her sight. It feels like pity. And something else altogether.
It’s an alien feeling, and he doesn’t like it.
He blames it on the strange fruit as he walks away, adamant on ignoring it until it goes away.
It doesn't.
anon i think i just fell in love with your beautiful brain, may i have permission to write a whole ass novel in your honor with this idea?
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For the fanfic ask game: F, J and V!
First off, I'm gonna say fjdslka;fjs thank you so much for the ask, @auspicious-poppy! You're the first and only one so far! :D
Okay on to the answers! I'm gonna put them below a Read More so I don't clog up people's dashes with my ramblings!
F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.
Oh mannnn, I definitely have one! I'm actually going to answer this question in reverse order, starting with why I'm proud.
I'm choosing the interrogation dialogue from Ch. 5 of Journey (The Underground). I'm so fucking proud of it because I think I fully utilized the reason why I fucking love a limited POV on a fic. I love when things remain a mystery, but there are enough hints that the reader can at least make an educated guess, especially if they are perceptive enough.
The snippet I will be sharing is the part where John totally slips up and changes the gender of his "love interest." John's freaking the fuck out while Dave remains painfully oblivious. I had so much fun writing this!
In order to truly showcase the brilliance of this scene, I will share the same snippet from both Journey and Side B. Enjoy reading them side-by-side! :D
Journey (Dave's POV):
God, you really hate seeing that look on his face. He should never look like that. He should only be happy. He fucking deserves to be happy, goddammit, and you will do everything in your power to make it so. Even if it involves not being in a relationship with you. You reach out your hand and flick him on the nose, causing his entire face to scrunch up like a rabbit. God fucking dammit, if that son of a bitch isn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. “No, I don’t know. Who wouldn’t want to take a ride on the wicked Egbert Sweet Lovin’ Express? Already, this chick is starting to sound lame.”
John hesitantly looks up at you, a hint of a smile appearing on his lips. He lets out another sigh before looking away again. “That’s the thing though, Dave,” he says. God, you hate how fucking dejected his voice sounds. “They’re totally not lame. Actually…he’s the coolest person I know.”
You raise an eyebrow when John suddenly stiffens again, a blush evident on his cheeks. His eyes are wide for just a second before he shuts them tight. It’s almost like he’s bracing himself for something terrible.
Wait…did you just miss something?
You let that thought go as you hang your arm over his shoulders, holding him a little closer. Hopefully the shimmering of your cloaks and your shared scarf energy will help him relax. You need him to relax first before you can get him to smile again-
Whoa holy fuck. John actually flinches under your touch. Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. He’s never recoiled from human contact before. This must be bothering him more than you thought.
Okay. Time to make him smile. That’s your number one mission, Commander. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. You lift a hand to ruffle his hair. “But that’s where you have it wrong, Egbert. Obviously this chick’s the lamest fucking dipshit on the motherfucking planet.” He instantly relaxes under your arm. Oh good, your pep talk must be working. “If she makes you feel that bad, that even thinking about being with her is a lost cause, then she’s not fucking worth your time. Goddamn, if she weren’t a girl, I’d smack her square in the goddamn fucking face.”
You almost jump when John suddenly erupts into a fit of laughter. Oh god, your heart is totally not picking up in double-time. What is he laughing about? Meh, you can’t find that you give a fuck at the moment. All you care about is that he’s actually laughing. Seriously, you could listen to this marvelous symphony all fucking day. When he finally calms down, he turns his head to look at you once again. He’s grinning, his eyes positively sparkling with that unfamiliar something that makes your heart start to change its fucking pace again. Fuck yes. Mission accomplished. Everyone can go the fuck home now.
Time seems to stand still as you hold each other’s gaze. God, you could look at him like this until the day you di-
Okay. Enough corny fucking thoughts. Time to go with Mission Number Two: find out who John’s crush is, even if it kills you inside. You let your lips curl into a smirk as your raise your eyebrow. “…You still need to tell me who it is, though.”
In a flash, John’s smile is gone. His whole body violently tenses up again before he pushes you away, letting out an infuriated yell. The force of pushing you away causes him to bump into the stone behind him.
Side B (John's POV):
Your heart skips a beat when Dave suddenly flicks you on the nose, causing your face to scrunch up at the feeling. Wait, did he just chuckle? Why would he do that? God, you feel like you don’t know anything anymore! “No, I don’t know,” he starts. “Who wouldn’t want to take a ride on the wicked Egbert Sweet Lovin’ Express? Already, this chick is starting to sound lame.”
Wow, he always seems to know what to say, doesn’t he? If only he really knew. You hesitantly look up at him. Huh. You don’t think you’ve ever seen this particular expression on his face before. How do you describe it? His mouth is still set in a straight line, but…it’s like there’s more to it. It’s probably a look of curiosity or something like that.
You let out another sigh before looking away again. “That’s the thing though, Dave. They’re totally not lame. Actually…he’s the coolest person I know.”
Fuck.
You did not just fucking say that.
Fuck your fucking life.
Goddammit, your face is starting to heat up. You shut your eyes tight, bracing yourself for the worst. Oh god. There’s no way Dave could have possibly missed that particular change in pronouns! He’s not that dense! Oh god, everything is ruined forever. You just know it. How could you have been so stupid!
Shit, now Dave’s hanging his arm over your shoulder, holding you a little closer. Fuck, now he’s really not going to let this go. He’s going to tease you for being a big gay. Shit. Shit, shit, shit shit shit shi-
“But that’s where you’ve got it wrong, Egbert,” he says, his voice oddly calm. “Obviously this chick’s the lamest fucking dipshit on the motherfucking planet.”
Holy. Fucking. Shit. You think you’re going to faint with relief. He seriously missed that?! It was so obvious! You even fucking said “he”! Whether it’s some higher power looking out for you, or just shit dumb luck, you don’t even fucking give a shit. You’re so thankful you can’t even. Yes, that’s right. You can’t even.
“If she makes you feel that bad, that even thinking about being with her is a lost cause, then she’s not fucking worth your time. Goddamn, if she weren’t a girl, I’d smack her square in the goddamn fucking face.”
Oh god, that’s it. You can’t hold it anymore. You erupt into a fit of chortles, not caring that Dave is right next to you to hear how stupid it sounds. Holy shit, this is getting way too ironic! Now your mind’s full of images of Dave punching himself in the face. Oh god, just the thought is breaking you into another giggle fit. Jesus, how does this stupid asshat always know how to say the most perfect fucking thing? How does he always cheer you up just like that, as quick as a snap of the fingers? It’s stupid and ridiculous and god you really fucking love this asshole.
When your laughter finally calms down, you turn your head to look at Dave once again and fuck. He’s smiling. Again! Whoa, he’s been smiling a lot lately! Does he even realize it? Is he smiling because he knows that he somehow managed to cheer you up yet again? Holy shit.
You swear time seems to stand still as you hold each other’s gaze. Wow, you really could look at him like this, even with his stupid-ass shades on, forev-
His smile disappears, a menacing smirk taking its place as he raises an eyebrow. Oh no. This can’t be a good sign. “…You still need to tell me who it is, though.”
Goddammit. Your stomach sinks so low, you really think it could just plummet out of your body and fall to the ground. You shove him away from you, an infuriated yell making its way past your lips as- You collide into something hard, like stone.
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].
Since Journey is the only fic of mine that's out (that's both recent and completed), I'll be answering with that in mind.
This one's interesting, actually, as there was a slight difference in the ending. In Dave's POV, you wouldn't notice that much, but John's POV is where the real difference lies!
So, in every draft of Journey before the final one, John was immediately able to move his body with no issues. In fact, he's the one who initiates their first IRL kiss! Yeah, back when I wrote this 10 years ago, I was but a sweet summer child who seriously thought that waking up from a coma was like in the movies, where the patient just moves about like they woke up from a really long nap! Imagine my surprise when I discovered that wasn't the case!
It was when I had suffered my back falling apart, had surgeries, and developed foot drop (where I can't flex my foot) that I was inspired to write Recovery. I got 2 chapters in, and the more I wrote, the more and more I was triggered by the Epilogue in Journey. At first, I didn't do anything because I was a lazy bitch who also assumed that I would never post this. It was actually my editing the final draft of the Epilogue that inspired/motivated me to make the final edits for Journey/Side B as a whole!
V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
Aaaahhh noooo you chose the hardest one! lmaooo Okay, here goes:
After looking through my bookmarks, I have settled on This is Your Burden by GoofyGodTier (johnfightmelaurens). I don't know if this is cheating since this fic is unfinished. However, that's also why I'm choosing it. I believe I told you before on AO3 that Bullied!John is one of my weird guilty pleasures, probably because it usually produces a lot of Hurt/Comfort (for which I'm a dirty slut lmfao). This is Your Burden really checks a lot of the right boxes for me, and it makes me sad that it's incomplete as well as desperate for more. Now, how I would end it, I have no idea!
Welp, that's all I've got for now. I hope you liked my answers and the colored text wasn't too hard to read! Once again, I cannot thank you enough for sending an ask! I love answering them and had been sad that I didn't receive any yesterday! lmao
#@auspicious poppy#aibou answers#aibou rambles#aiboufics#homestuck#johndave#pepsicola#journeystuck#fanfic ask game
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trigger warning: internalized homophobia, homophobia, some patriarchal/heteronormativity bs, abusive parents, nsfw-ish (?)
p.s: pls tell me if the keep reading thing isn’t working on mobile and pls tell me how to make it work, jkdhjkshjk. i literary had a fever last night and this chapter made it worse
anyway, tagging @somewillwin
“What are you still doing here?” You asked Bea when you saw her hovered near your phone. You’re not dumb; you know she’s watching you when you type in your passcode. Good thing you changed it at the last minute before she came to the club last night. Otherwise, it would get awkward if she saw you enter her birthday as your passcode.
You let her get some dirt on you, after all, you’ve got a full arsenal to bring her down to her knees. It’s fun, trying to top one another, in almost every sense. Your favorite was the one that happened just a few minutes ago in your bed, who knew Farmsville got a game.
“Just want to say good night.”
You rolled your eyes, but can’t help the smirk on your lips as you heard Bea’s soft laugh. You wished you had more time to tire her out, to scream out your name over and over again until her voice reduced to nothing but a hoarse whisper, begging for your mercy. Like how it always goes in one of your fantasies of her.
You sauntered to her, swaying your hips and you noticed how Bea’s eyes glued to your hips. You remembered her strong arms holding your hips tightly as you pleasure yourself against her defined abs.
“Go back to your place, Bea.”
“Oh, so now I’m Bea.” She had the nerve to smirk, asshole.
You sighed and pulled her chain to make her closer, you can see her shock before it morphed into something else.
Excitement.
“Go home, Bea.” You whispered softly, trying to savor her reaction every time you called her by her name instead of stupid nicknames you come up with.
“And why should I comply?”
“Because your queen ordered you.” You said before you kiss her hard.
It’s so addictive, kissing her.
You never knew what addiction looks like before, you never had a problem with one. Even when your distant cousin tried to explain it to you about her addiction to gambling, you just drew blank.
But now.
Now, you understood.
And it’s such dangerous, exhilarating, and thrilling feelings that’s ever grace your cold heart.
You nipped her bottom lips, drawing out her soft moans, her hands holding your hips, keeping you closer to her. You chuckled darkly when you backed away from her, dropping the chain that you gripped while kissing her, to keep yourself from touching her. “Get lost; I don’t want to see your ugly face again.”
She just laughed and kissed the tip of your nose, probably because you said it jokingly instead with hatred like you used to.
“Okay your majesty,” Bea smiled. “Sweet dream.”
You just hummed and watched her walk away. You let your imagination run a little wild for a while, thinking what other toys she would probably enjoy. She would look good spread on your bed, hands and legs tie up to your bedpost, all those muscles straining against your handiwork. A gag ball won’t hurt either, since she couldn’t shut up even just for a second. Always have something smart to say, always trying to get the last word. It would be fun to hear her muffle moans as you fuck her with your strap-on. Should you whip out your nipple clamp too? Or is it too early for second fucking session?
“Yo, Poppy.”
Her voice pulled you out from your fantasy. “What?” You said with perfect tone, as if you’re not just imagining her squirming beneath you.
Before she closes your door, she glances at you and smirks. “We would probs do it again.”
“In your dreams, Hughes.”
And oh, what a dream it was.
Until the ringing of your phone and the name “Father” flashed on your phone.
_____________________________________________________________
Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.
Your father’s words echoed within the bathroom, reminding you how wrong this was over and over again. You grit your teeth and clutched the marble sink until your knuckles turn white, hoping the coldness from it would cool you down, but it didn’t work.
You lift your eyes, meeting with your reflection in the mirror. You growled when you saw Farmsville leave a mark on your collarbone, God what an asshole. Such a rude and stupid and annoying asshole. You should’ve left your mark on hers as well, oh how you wish you bit her swan-like neck a little harder until it leaves a mark. Or digging your nails just a little deeper on her perfectly strong back. God, all those muscles, hiding beneath garbage bags all this time. You licked your swollen lips, wishing it was Bea’s.
Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl, Poppy.
Now it was your mother’s voice. Reminding you why falling in love with a girl is wrong.
“You are the heir of our family’s company!” Your father roared angrily at the day when your parents found out about you and Agnes. “Do not embarrass our family.”
Agnes, your sweet Agnes.
You’re both still so young, junior high school. But you knew right away that you didn’t like boys that way. At first you thought it’s because they’re always smell so awful, always fighting, always talking too loud, talking about something dumb, anything. You never ran out of reason to hate boys. It never occurred to you that, maybe, you just didn’t like them that way. No one taught you that you can feel that way towards boys, no one told you that you can feel that way towards girls.
“No daughter of mine is gay!” Your Father spat the word with venom, while you just cowered in fear. You looked over to your mother, but she’s already looking at you with disappointment and disgust.
“Good girl falls in love with a good boy and then becomes a good wife for her husband!”
You tried to hold back your tears; you don’t want your Father to hit you again.
It wasn’t even a kiss on the lips; Agnes just kissed your forehead after you told her that you’re sad.
You told someone about your feelings, and look what happened? Your parents threw her out like she’s a roach, unworthy of anything good in this world.
You should’ve just stayed silent; you should’ve just barked at her when she tried to hug you. You should’ve pushed her away when she’s introducing herself. You should’ve just kept your feelings to yourself, bottled everything up and hope you can survive.
Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.
That’s why you’re blooming feelings with Bea is a threat. You hate yourself when you realize this feelings you had every time you saw Bea everywhere. With her almost stood tall over everyone, even some of the boys, her annoying laugh and that smirk. And you have to do everything to stop this from spreading inside you, poisoning you and turning you into something that you’re not. Into something that your parents hate.
The last thing you want is to be on the receiving end of your parents’ wrath, not again.
You closed your eyes and counted to three before you picked your phone and sent those embarrassing video of Bea to everyone on Belvoire.
You checked your reflection in the mirror, you didn’t notice you’ve cried, tears are streaming down on your cheeks, but your heart feels so numb and cold. You squashed away all of this feeling, trying to numb your heart once again. It worked before with Agnes, it could work with Bea, right?
After all, you’re a good girl.
And good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.
And yet…
#poppy x mc#poppy min sinclair#queen b#my fics#anyway agnes is actually my mcs name for this book#i promise ill write another poppy x mc#its fun writing from poppys pov#makepoppyali2020
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Adult SFF edition
High/Epic Fantasy
The Lies of Locke Lamora: heist fantasy following a band of misfits! It has morally gray characters, fun banter but heartwrenching moments and a pretty complex plot. It’s a classic to say “if you liked Six of Crows and want to try adult SFF try this” and it’s probably true.
Kushiel’s Dart: a political fantasy tome loosely inspired by Europe in the Renaissance. Pretty heavy on romance and erotica (with BDSM elements) as it follows a courtesan navigating the political scene. It has an amazing female villain.
A Darker Shade of Magic: probably the easiest way to approach adult fantasy. It has multiple Londons and a pretty unique magic system and concept, plus a crossdressing thief, knives and great banter.
The Poppy War: grimdark fantasy (TW: abuse, self harm, rape, drug abuse), inspired by Chinese history. It’s adult, but follows younger MCs and the unique blend of different historical periods/inspirations makes it extremely interesting. The characters are extremely fucked up in the best possible way, plus the use of shamanism is awesome.
The Sword of Kaigen: if you liked The Poppy War you could like this one. The Sword of Kaigen is an Asian-inspired militaristic fantasy, with elemental magic, a badass housewife dealing with her past and hiding a sword in her kitchen’s floor. It has interesting and nuanced family dynamics and a great reflection on propaganda and the use of narratives.
The Priory of the Orange Tree: high fantasy, featuring dragons, a F/F romance and pretty complex world building. The author reuses typical fantasy tropes and roles in a fresh way. Very readable in spite of its length.
Empire of Sand: inspired by Mughal India, this one focuses on culture and religion and has great slow burn romance (TW: abuse, slavery). It’s pretty slow paced, but the payoff is great. Also a good "YA crossover”.
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms: first book in a companion novel trilogy, following a young woman who finds herself at the center of a vicious political struggle, as she’s suddenly become the heir to the throne.
Black Sun: first book in a new series by Rebecca Roanhorse, inspired by pre-Columbian societies and cultures. It mainly focuses on religious and political conflicts. TW for abuse, mild body horror and suicide (not very graphic). Nice inclusion of lgbt rep across the whole cast + one of the main characters is blind. Great world building!
Historical Fantasy
The Night Circus: perfect transition from YA to Adult for a reader, The Night Circus is a gorgeous historical fantasy romance. The author’s writing is amazing, the descriptions and the subtlety of the main characters’ relationship are to die for.
The City of Brass: political/historical fantasy tome featuring Middle Eastern mythology. It follows younger MCs (honestly another series that could be a good way to approach adult SFF) and has great character growth throughout the series. The first book has some more trope-y elements, but the payoff is worth it.
The Golem and The Djinni: historical fantasy (if you loved The Night Circus you could like this one), following two mythical creatures as they navigate New York in 1899. Slow burn romance, rich descriptions, fascinating combination of Jewish and Syrian folklore.
Gods of Jade and Shadow: a fantasy bildungsroman set in Mexico during the Jazz age. Another great way to approach adult SFF as it follows a young girl on a life changing adventure. It features Mayan mythology and a god slowly becoming human.
The Ghost Bride: set in Malaya in 1893, it follows the daughter of a ruined man as she receives the proposal to become a ghost bride. Lovely setting, rich in culture and extremely atmospheric.
The Bear and The Nightingale: a coming of age story inspired by Russian folklore. Another great way to start reading adult SFF: it’s very atmospheric and fairy tale-like. Also frost demons are better than men.
Queen of the Conquered: first book in a fantasy duology(?) set in an alternate version of the Caribbean at the time of Scandinavian colonisation. It follows Sigourney, a biracial woman (her mother was a slave, freed by her father) and the only islander who is allowed to own and use kraft and therefore has a position of privilege, which she constantly abuses, while telling herself she’s doing it for the islanders’ benefit. The book is hard to read, because the MC is no hero and her POV can be quite challenging to get through, but if you’re up for it I’d totally recommend this. (TW: slavery, abuse, death).
The Lions of Al-Rassan: this one has minimal fantasy elements, much like other Kay books, as it reads more like an alternate history. Using Moorish Spain as a template, it deals with the conflict between Jews, Muslims and Christians. Much like Under Heaven and most of his historical fantasy it shows common people being swept up in dramatic events.
Urban Fantasy
The Divine Cities trilogy: starting with City of Stairs, it follows a female diplomat and spymaster(!!). The whole trilogy features an interesting discussion about godhood, religion, fanatism, politics, without ever being boring or preachy. It has complex and rich world building and a pretty compelling mystery.
Foundryside: heist fantasy following a thief as she’s hired to steal a powerful artifact that may change magical technology as she knows it. Also, slow burn F/F romance.
Jade City: a wuxia inspired, gangster urban fantasy. Great family dynamics, very interesting political and economical subplots.
One for My Enemy: sort of a modern Romeo and Juliet, but set in New York, starring two magical gangster families. The female characters are to die for.
Trail of Lightning: inspired by Native mythology and the idea of subsequent worlds. It has a kickass MC and a good mix of original elements and typical UF tropes. You could like this if you liked the Kate Daniels series.
American Gods: a classic of the genre, pretty much brilliant in how it reuses old mythology in a modern setting.
Retellings
Spinning Silver: a very loose retelling of Rumpelstiltskin, with a gorgeous atmosphere. It mainly follows female characters from different social and economical backgrounds and reuses the original tale to challenge the antisemitic ideas around the role of the moneylander.
The Queens of Innis Lear: fantasy retelling of King Lear, very atmospheric and gorgeously written. Slow paced, but very satisfying build up, lots of backstabbing and miscommunication. (heads up though, one of the MCs is coded as aroace and I found the rep pretty bad on that. The book does feature casual bisexual rep though, which was great)
Lady Hotspur: genderbent retelling of Henry IV, set in the same world as The Queens of Innis Lear. Lesbian and bisexual rep. Heavy on political subplots, features ambitious women growing into their roles.
Deathless: sort of a retelling of Koschei the Deathless set in the first half of the 20th century. Brilliant reuse of Russian folklore to weave together politics and history. It does have pretty brutal descriptions of war, morally gray characters, unhealthy relationships and overall a lot of mindfuckery.
Space Opera
A Memory Called Empire: space opera inspired by the Mexica and middle period Byzantium. It focuses on topics like colonialism and the power of narratives and language. It has one of the best descriptions of what it’s like to live in between spaces I’ve ever read. Also very interesting political intrigue and has a slow burn F/F romance (and a poly relationship recalled through flashbacks).
Ninefox Gambit: a Korean-inspired space opera with a magic system based on math. It’s honestly quite convoluted and difficult to follow, but it also features some of the best political intrigue I’ve ever read. Plenty of lying, backstabbing and mind games. It also features lesbian and bisexual rep and an aroace side character (TW: mass shooting, sexual assault).
The Light Brigade: militaristic space opera set in a not-so-defined future in which corporations rule Earth and space in general. The book follows a newly enlisted soldier as they go through gruelling training and experience the side effects of being broken down into atoms to travel at the speed of light. It’s a heavy book, featuring raw descriptions of war, and quite difficult to follow (non-linear timelines...) but it’s also an amazing critique of capitalism and political propaganda (TW: death, mass shooting).
Gideon the Ninth: pretty much lesbian necromancers in space. Very loose world building, but a fun mystery full of banter. Can be quite confusing in the beginning, but a relatively easy and fun way to approach science fiction.
The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet: character driven space opera featuring a found family journeying through space. A fun read, that also deals with topics such as sexuality and race. Quite easy to go through, as the world building and plot aren’t particularly complex themselves. Also features a F/F romance.
Science Fiction-Fantasy that I can’t fit anywhere else
Vicious: college roommates put themselves through near-death experiences to obtain super powers, only everything goes wrong. Follows a great band of misfits (and pretty much everyone is morally gray).
Middlegame: a brilliant and complex tapestry of alternate timelines, following telepathically connected twins trying to escape the alchemist that wants to use them to obtain godhood (TW: attempted suicide).
Piranesi: the long awaited return of Susanna Clarke, Piranesi is an odd, mysterious book set in a house with infinite rooms and endless corridors, apparently inhabited by only two people.
Bonus Novella recs: novellas are amazing and don’t sleep on them!
The Empress of Salt and Fortune: an Asian-inspired fantasy novella, it gives a voice to people usually silenced by history. It follows a cleric (non binary rep) as they chronicle the story of the late empress, retold through objects that she used in her life. It focuses on bonds between women and the power that lies in being unnoticed.
The Black God’s Drums: an urban fantasy novella, based on Orisha mythology and set in an alternate, sort of steampunk, New Orleans.
The Haunting of Tram Car 015: alternate steampunk Cairo populated by supernatural entities. It has a compelling mystery, starring a great lead.
This Is How You Lose the Time War: epistolary set during a time-travel war, F/F romance and gorgeous prose.
The Citadel of Weeping Pearls: a novella set in the Xuya universe (a series of novellas/short stories set in a timeline where Asia became dominant, and where the space age has empires of Vietnamese and Chinese inspiration), but can be read as a standalone. It’s a space opera featuring a disappeared citadel and the complex relationship between the empress and her daughter as war threatens her empire.
To Be Taught, If Fortunate: an incredibly heartwarming and yet meaningful novella about research and the meaning of it. It’s the tale of 4 astronauts on a crowdfunded mission to explore space, to observe and report without conquering. It’s written in lovely prose and is very casual in its lgbt rep.
The Deep: very good novella set in an underwater society built by the descendants of African slave women that were tossed overboard. It’s not an easy read at all, as it deals with trauma, both personal and generational ones.
Bonus short story collections recs
A Cathedral of Myth and Bone: 16 short stories featuring myth, legend and faith, that mainly focus on women reclaiming their agency.
The Paper Menageries and Other Stories: features plenty of different fantasy and science fiction subgenres. The Paper Menagerie in particular is an extremely moving tale.
Conservation of Shadows: science fiction-fantasy short stories that focus on topics like colonisation and the role of art and language.
Graphic Novel
Monstress: series set in an alt 1900s matriarchal Asia, following a teenage girl who survived a war and shares a connection with a monster that’s slowly transforming her. (TW: slavery, death).
#book rec#book recommendations#adult sff#book list#book recs#science fiction#fantasy#may add more later on rip#also i hope there's no typos lol#also this one will flop skjnkf
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Human Sacrifice
Summary: The sudden events of the Zeta House Bacchanalia leaves Zoey a victim of humiliation, and Bea has her own input on the event.
Tags: I’m going to tag the Zoey stans I know: @samanthadalton @jaxsmutsuo @this-person-is-busy @penda-bear @steal-your-moment @tyrils-star @satrinadia (If you want to be removed or added on this list in future writings let me know)
Word Count: 3.6k (Yeah it’s a lot oops)
Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST, Mild Language, Depressing thoughts, also some blood.
Pairing: Badgirl! Mc x Zoey
Author’s Note: I wanted to write a more realistic version of Badgirl! Mc for the events of the Bacchanalia. I hope you hate her by the end of this.
~
Zoey’s POV
“I will never let you forget that this is who you are.”
Poppy’s words struck me like I had just been the victim of a tragic car crash. Completely surrounded by the noise and utter chaos, but isolated in the clutter.
My legs began to weaken from the embarrassment, there was nothing to hold on to steady myself. There was no one to catch me before I could collapse and sob my worries into the cold, hard concrete floor of the place I would ironically call hell.
Bea? Where is Bea? A faint remembrance of her crossed my mind before I could only focus on my rapidly soaring heartbeat. Any second now it would pop right out of my chest and onto the ground, allowing another part of me to be exposed to the selfish monsters, who took no shame in degrading every part of my being. I wanted to shut my eyes. I wanted to go to sleep and wake up, realizing it was all some nightmare. But all I could do was stand there and hold back the dam of tears that threatened to surge out through my eyes. I’ll be damned if I let Poppy see through my act, see through the poorly concealed cracks in my perfect persona and take advantage of it. She has already ripped me apart publicly, and if there is something that I will cling on to as I walk out of this den of vultures: it will be my pride.
The anger rushed through my veins just as quickly as the shame left. I couldn’t feel it, but I knew my nails had dug so deep into the skin of my hand as I tightened my fists. That would definitely leave a few scars, but not as deep as the mental scars that have rose from the dark depths of my mind. There is nothing more that I want in the world than to forget everything. If all of my flaws had to be exposed in this moment, I can only hope the tears that spill any second will submerge me as well.
~
Bea’s POV
“Zoey doesn’t need me looking after her. Plus, I already told her this is the only reason I came. She’s gonna love this credit card thing.”
I snapped a pic of Poppy’s credit card and uploaded it to the T, courtesy of a sweet message to follow along. It was only after a few seconds of allowing myself to wallow in self satisfaction that I felt the need to go save Zoey. With a final smirk of appreciation I dashed out of the room, knowing in the back of my head that the queen of all bitches was going to fall, hard.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, a blinding spotlight revealed the silhouette of Zoey surrounded by the cretins of Belvoire University. A sensation of guilt invaded the pit of my stomach as I looked over at the mugshot of my best friend, displayed for all to see. The confusion overtook me for a split second before I sprinted towards the wires, tearing its hold from the sockets.
“Hey, stop!”
Whose voice was that? Who could stand there and enjoy what was happening to Zoey?
I felt my cheeks furiously heating up, like I could explode any moment, and all that would be left is a pool of lava. I couldn’t refrain from scowling as I twisted my head in his direction
“Eat my ass, Liam!”
Yes that’s right Bea, a big verbal FUCK YOU to him will solve all of your problems, you idiot.
I growled as the last of the cords are unplugged from the walls and the room goes silent. My eyes immediately fall on Zoey who shares a heartbreaking look with me, like she’s reaching out for me. She needs me. But even as I acknowledged that, I stood in place and watched as tomatoes were slung in the direction of my best friend. There wasn’t a spot on her body that hadn’t become a canvas to the rotting food, in fact the picture painted before me was quite the opposite of her usual appealing image.
I wanted to get a closer look, I wanted to scan every part of her. I wanted to see the pain in her eyes...maybe I wanted to be the one who took it away. But all of those bottled up feelings meant nothing when Zoey raced through the front doors, her legs dragging the rest of her body, using every last bit of her strength to not break down right then and there. I wanted to run after her. I wanted to comfort her and hold her, and tell her that I’d fix this. But what could I possibly fix? What does she expect me to do? Maybe this will all blow over, I mean this is Poppy, who doesn’t she embarrass? I surely have been a victim, and it’s not like I wanted this to happen. I mentally patted myself on the back for uploading the credit card pictures to the T, this is going to be the sweetest revenge. That bitch will never see it coming.
And she didn’t.
I smirked confidently as I watched Poppy’s hastily retreating form, madly whispering into her phone to the great Piers Sinclair. Her father is gonna have a fucking field day with her, I thought. Rolling my eyes, I let out a chuckle. Who knew playing Poppy’s game could be so….fun? Exhilarating? This was only just the beginning of a feud that will end with my reign. A standing that I could not obtain without Zoey.
I knew that I’d have to go after her, and it’s not like I didn’t want to. But what would I say to her?
C’mon Bea, you’re going to talk to her. You’re going to ask her what that was all about. You aren’t going to push any boundaries. You’re going to show her that you care...deeply.
I knew that Zoey had stolen my heart from the minute she grabbed my hands and pulled me into her world. I knew there was no escape, not with her. She was my world and I wanted so badly for her to trust me, to trust that whatever we’re trying to accomplish here at Belvoire, would bring us closer together. I had to go get my girl.
After all, who else would comfort her if not me? I was the only one who cared enough.
~
Zoey’s POV
I felt the remains of rotten tomatoes in every crevice of my body. The residue was not enough to distract me from the chills that invaded my spine, and it wasn’t because I was trudging with chunky tomato bits in my underwear on a freezing evening. My whole body felt numb, where was I going? Who do I go to now? I kept walking though, as if I’d encounter a solution to my complete annihilation. Maybe if I didn’t stop, I’d burn out eventually. Maybe I wouldn’t realize it when I hit the ground. Maybe I’ll wake up and be back home, safe and sound.
Sudden footsteps caused the thoughts in my head to jumble. As I turned to face the figure behind me, a rush of heat filled my lungs as I gasped, reaching for her.
Bea. My Bea.
I wanted to cry out, to tell her how I felt. But in that moment, her arms offered me safety, the kind of warmth that resembles a thick blanket shielding a fragile body on an icy winter morning. I never wanted to let go.
“That was…so horrible Bea. No one...was-”, I shook violently against her chest, and she held on tighter. “No one was supposed to know about the...shoplifting thing!”
Bea held me close as I struggled to breathe. I pulled my head back, careful not to ruin her outfit any more than I had, and looked into her eyes. They were concentrated on every inch of my face, her eyebrows creased with worry as she studied the remains of tomatoes that were dripping slowly from my head. I had the urge to pull away with shame, I….I didn’t want her to see me like this.
I was Zoey Wade. But I don’t know who I am now. I don’t know what Bea thinks of me now. Everything I worked so hard for meant nothing in the end because of my past. I can’t help but feel like my past defines me, no matter how hard I struggled to lock it all away.
“Poppy is so vile for putting you on blast like that. What was that all about anyway?”
Bea’s gaze was intense as she turned toward the house with a glare. I could feel her arms start to loosen its hold on me, and much to my dismay, I let her do it. She glanced quickly at me before facing the ground, taking a subtle breath and looking back up.
“I know it’s no consolation, but at least my plan worked. I got her credit cards! Her credit cards are going to be totally shot after this..”
Bea’s eyes were creased with delight but I could see the pity radiating off of her dark features. I wanted to ask her what she was talking about. What credit cards? What does that have to do with me standing in fucking tomato waste?
Bea reached out to caress my shoulders again.
“That whole ‘Human Sacrifice’ thing is disgusting. I had no idea this is what she would do to you-”
...Suddenly the red liquid dripping down my chin didn’t resemble tomato remains to me anymore. It looked a lot more like blood, I felt as if her words psychically hooked onto my skin and tugged at it harshly. My vision began to blur, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing this time, and I pushed her back roughly.
My legs started to shake violently as I tried to suppress the anger boiling within me. But that was impossible.
“Wait, to me? Bea, did you know she was going to do this to me?”
This betrayal hurt more than anything that Poppy had said to me. I felt my throat start to close, was I even breathing anymore? Is this real? I stood there trembling in my own sorrow as I waited for Bea to respond. I prayed that this was all a misunderstanding, that she would use that charming voice of hers to melt my pain away. To reassure me that she cared for me and wouldn’t have allowed Poppy to have done what she did. But…I was terribly wrong.
~
Bea’s POV
“Zoey I swear I literally just found out while in Poppy’s room. I came to warn you but I….I didn’t have enough time.”
I’m not sure why Zoey pushed me out of her arms so suddenly, but all I knew was that this was not my fault. I wanted to lash out at her for even thinking of blaming me for whatever happened tonight. Does she not know how much I care about her? I’m standing here aren’t I?
I let the feeling bubble down slowly before speaking again, this time looking straight into her big brown orbs, red and swollen with tears.
“Zoey...I had gone up there to go through with our plan….I saw the cards and figured I’d have time to do both. But...that’s just not exactly how things turned out.”
I expected her to understand. How could I have possibly known that they’d throw tomatoes at her? I came here to find dirt on Poppy, we both knew that. I completed our objective, we were one step closer to taking down Poppy.
Why couldn’t she acknowledge that?
I tried to speak again but I was cut off by the menacing step Zoey took in my direction.
“Not exactly how things turned out? What the hell Bea?”
I didn’t think I’d find myself outside in freezing temperatures, being pulled by the jewel of my choker by my best friend. At least not in the way I had hoped for.
I felt Zoey’s hot breath dissolve across my face as she pulled me towards her, eyes seething with fury that you’d probably only see in hell. My lips quivered with surprise for a second before I was sent sprawling back onto my ass, the concrete scraping vigorously against the back of my bare legs. Leave it to me to get in a fight with my fucking underwear on.
I quickly sprang back up, brushing specs of dirt off my already bruised up legs, before scowling at her.
“What the hell is wrong with you? I don’t know why you’re so pissed at me. It’s not like I’m the one who put you on blast back there!”
“But you knew about it, and instead of telling me, you went ahead and did what you thought was more important, didn’t you Bea?”
“...Zoey we had a plan. Which I managed to do by the way! I thought you’d be happy but it looks like you’re fucking ungrateful!”
Zoey’s eyes practically jumped out of her sockets as her jaw dropped open.
I didn’t mean to say it...I didn’t. But a part of me felt that I was absolutely correct, it’s clear that she didn’t feel the same way though.
“I’M UNGRATEFUL? Bea are you out of your goddamn mind?! Why the fuck would I ever be happy about this situation. It seems like you can’t understand why I feel the way I feel with that thick head of yours.”
My body jolted forward as I proceeded to grab onto her once more, I wanted to hold her and make her listen to me. She could not leave until I explained. But all Zoey did was back up even farther, holding her arms out to stop me. Tears burst out from her crinkled eyes and she just stands there and lets it flow. There was no more holding back, as mascara started to mix with her tears. My heart broke at what was unfolding before me.
I couldn’t even embrace her. I felt a hot spark of blood run through the veins in my arms, and my fingers started to tingle. It wasn’t long until they were practically numb. I felt numb. Was it from the cold? Or something else? I couldn’t tell you.....
“Zoey...you know that I’d never do this on purpose, you know this isn’t me. This… this is all a big misunderstanding. Please listen to me-”
When I tried to catch her gaze, every last bit of hurt that covered her face had completely disappeared. She looked empty and cold, something I never wanted to see again. Had I caused this?
“That’s the thing Bea...I don’t know who you are anymore. You’re not the same Bea who I watched walk onto campus and win the hearts of so many people...including mine.”
I whipped my head up to stare at her like a deer caught in headlights.
...I won her heart?
A few beats of silence passed before I spoke again, my voice hoarse from all of the emotions I refused to display. I am stubborn, yes. I wanted to hear it from Zoey, I wanted her to tell me that she adored me. I wanted to know it was real, that it was never one sided. But it seems like the universe was always meant to be against me.
“Zoey...I-”
“No Bea. Just stop...I can’t do this right now.” Her shoulders freeze up as she exhales, a puff of breath glistening in the air as she wraps her arms around herself to shield the cold. “You aren’t my Bea...I don’t even think you realize how much you’ve hurt me, and that lets me know where you stand with...us.”
She was wrong. Dead wrong. I did everything in my power to help her. To help us. It wasn’t fair that we would have this conversation in the middle of a fight, but I wasn’t going to let her end this. She will not walk away from me like this. I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore, any longer and I’d bite it clean off.
“Zoey are you serious? That is not true! How are you going to admit your feelings and then walk off like it means nothing to me? Do I not deserve to have a say?”
Zoey stood up straighter, the words that came out of her mouth were bitter. If I stood any closer to her, my skin would burn from the venom she spit.
“The only thing you deserve to feel is the fact that you ruined every last bit of hope that we would be together. You don’t deserve me Bea...I can’t believe I didn’t realize that from the beginning..” She scoffs and shakes her head at me sadly, wiping the tears off of her face with her painted arms.
“What the hell does that mean? Zoey you-”
“NO BEA! Can’t you see it? It always has to be about YOU. You’re the center of attention right? Ever since you started hanging out with Poppy’s lackeys...you’ve changed. I think you forget about the reason you have such expensive clothes on your back. How people only hang around you because of your status. But I’m not them Bea...I think you need to realize that I was the only person in all of Belvoire who wanted to know the real you.”
“What are you saying Zoey?”
“...You’d be nothing without me. Not here at least. This school never took your kind well, hell not even my kind.”
A sharp laugh left my throat as I processed her words. I’d be nothing without her? This must be some kind of joke! How dare she even admit that?
She’s not wrong Bea. I stepped closer, ignoring the voice in my head and scoffed bitterly as my body trembled with adrenaline.
“Is that right?”
I raised my voice higher, whipping my arms out towards the sky. “You hear that everyone? Me, Bea Hughes, would be nothing without Zoey Wade..” I lowered my hands and jabbed my finger in her direction. “You got a lot of nerve sayin’ that, am I correct? You know...Poppy was right about you being a social climber. That’s why you hung around me right? To use me?”
“I don’t have to prove my feelings to you-”
“But isn’t that what you said? I mean you’re right, I am popular. Is that what the problem is here? Is it jealousy that you feel? Keep in mind, before I waltzed on this campus you were a nobody. So the truth is Zoey Wade...you’d be nothing
I jabbed my finger accusingly at her chest once more
“without“
Twice more
“me..“
A streak of blazing fire sent me stumbling backwards as her hand connected with my cheek. I clutched the tender area and reeled back to see blood staining my palms from the small cut her ring gave me. I totally deserve that don’t I?
I turned to see Zoey inching towards me and I braced myself for another hit, but it never came.
“...Don’t ever speak to me like that again.“ Zoey shakes her quietly as she stares at her feet. Her voice vibrated loudly yet broke as she spoke, “I thought you were different...but Poppy has changed you. This game has changed you.”
“Oh please-”
Zoey snaps her head up to look at me. “Look in the mirror Bea, do you even recognize yourself anymore? I doubt it...you’re so blinded by this hunger for power that you ruin everything in your path. You’re becoming just like...” Her next words felt like a thousand needles were embedded in my palms.
“No...you are Poppy”.
My breath caught in my throat as I stood there in shock.
If you had told me that my ex best friend would be telling me those exact words, I’d laugh in your face and throw a party celebrating my Poppy-free persona. But was she right? Had I tarnished everything I once cherished because of this obsession I have with my enemy? A thousand thoughts were running through my mind and I didn’t shake out of that trance until I realized that Zoey had already started walking away, shedding tomato off of her on the way.
Before I could stop myself, I shouted forcefully
“Hey! Who do you think you’re walking away from? Zoey we’re not done!”
Maybe that was the ignorance she was trying to tell me about..
Zoey turned around one final time, her eyes full of grief for only a second until hardening, “Bea...do yourself a favor and humble yourself. Don’t forget where you came from...because trust me, they will never let you forget.”
~
I let out a shaky breath as I watched Zoey walk away.
I find it ironic how this tragedy has allowed me to realize how corrupted I’ve become. The picture of her walking away will forever be embedded in my mind, but one thing I can attest to is that Zoey never deserved to be dragged into the mess I made.
So I watched her walk out of my life, because maybe that’s exactly what I deserved. Maybe it’s what she deserved too. Only a fool would allow her to leave that night, and I was the biggest fool that ever set foot at Belvoire.
#zoey wade#queen b#playchoices#choices stories you play#zoey x mc#...ya'll can yell at me if you want to..#but for my first fic? not badddd#Also can't believe I'm saying this#but if anyone wants to request something for me to write#i'd totally be down#Zoey art coming soon!
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The books I read in 2020 / part 3.
I read over 50 books this year... so I had to section it off into three parts.
The Subtle knife - Philip Pullman: ☆☆☆☆
I wanted to revisit the story before watching the second series of the TV show. This book was always my favorite in the series, or at least when I first read the trilogy. I just loved the blossoming friendship between Will and Lyra so much. There are lots of answers we get here, but we get far more newer questions than I remembered.
Lyra’s Oxford - Philip Pullman: ☆☆☆
I am so fond of this world that Pullman has created and I always find it so wonderful to visit it again. I really enjoyed this story, I but I also found it just a bit too short.
Perfume: The Story of Murderers - Patrick Süskind: ☆☆☆☆
I really enjoyed this one. It's not a large book, but it's really interesting and very unusual. I had the movie in my head the whole time I was reading the book, which took a bit of the fun out of reading it though. But the writing was beautiful.
Archenemies, Supernova – Marissa Meyer: ☆☆☆, ☆☆☆.
All the books that I have read by Meyer have really interesting premise, nice and likeable characters with some great dynamic between them and comradery, which is just so fun to read and this series certainly delivers on that. The romance is cute, and the plot is very fast paced and exciting. It's a very fun and easy read. Now, while I do think this series explores some interesting themes such as abuse of power, challenging your leaders to recognizing that the views that other around you and those you admire aren’t always correct, I also felt part of the last book, and the ending fumbled over some of them or didn't really uphold them well enough or go as hard as I wanted them to go. It almost felt too easy. Just like some of these superhero movies it's very entertaining, but might not always leave a lot behind in the end.
The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance, Oatbringer, - Brandon Sanderson: ☆☆☆, ☆☆☆☆, ☆☆☆.
When I first started this story I felt like it was really slow, a bit boring and just sort of dragging it's feet through clunky worldbuilding and backstories. The first part of the Way of Kings was not a fun read to me. Although Sanderson is great at creating a interesting and dynamic worlds and setting for his fantasy story (it's one of the things he's known for) I wish he could do so with a little less info-dumps. It really bored me, there wasn't enough story to hook me and that was the main reason why I switched to the audiobooks for this series. The audiobook finally managed to draw me into the story.
All the books in Stormlight Archive suffer from a similar problems as the first one, in various degrees, although the stakes do increase as you go further into the story and towards the plot has escalated so much that you do not seem to be able to put the book down, it's the start and the meandering middle that kinda suck a lot of excitement out if this story for me. The story is sometimes a little too slow for me, although I find some of it enjoyable. I just personally like a bit more plot. You're constantly learning more about the world and how it works, but I wish there was more rise to the story all throughout the books, and I think Sanderson is extremely weak when it comes to such political intrigue. I want a bit more escalating tension. I experienced very similar thing with Mistborn. There is also the fact that some parts of the books are more interesting than other depending on the POV, but that can happen with a story as big as this one. I just wish there was a little less info-dumps, a bit more suspense throughout the plot and that the worldbuilding could be mixed better in with the actual plot.
The Burning God – R. F. Kuang: ☆☆☆☆
The Poppy War series is one of the most stand out series I have read in a while! I flew through the first two via audiobooks earlier this year and then I picked up the last book in the trilogy as soon as it came out. It is very dark and does not shy away from the gruesome details of war and what it can do to people and how it can just break them and the aftermath that it leaves behind. Even with all the magical powers that some of characters have things never get easy. They only seem to get worse.
I admired Kuang's use of real history as inspiration for this series and how she did it, as I read a little bit more about the Chinese civil war and the opium wars in the process, and how truly morally gray the characters were (the term morally gray gets throw around a lot) and how everyone could turn on each other at any given moment, the characters are someone you can empathize with but they are also so flawed and unlikeable at the same time. You are supposed to be conflicted on these characters and I think Kuang manages to do that so well and I enjoyed reading a whole lot.
The story surprised me at almost every turn, and it was so satisfying when every piece fell into place and we got to the ending that this story deserves. The writing itself is quite straight forward and to the point and not very flowery, which I think suits the story and the subject matter quite well. It does have some pacing issues, especially in the second book for me, which can sometimes be a bit of a drag. But the overall story is super strong. It is not for people who want to have a light, fun fantasy read or cannot stomach a lot of violence. This is an adult grimdark after all. Lots of trigger warning for this one like substance abuse, self-harm, rape, death, violence etc. I can personally handle a lot, but even I found it hard to read at times. But the way these things were handled or written about in the story and how it was handled did usually not bother me. It was not done for sheer shock value.
The Bear and the Nightingale - Katherine Arden: ☆☆☆☆
I actually sort of knew before I read this book that this would be something I would really enjoy. And I was right. I loved the atmosphere, the feeling of it, and this world that was brought to life by this book. It felt like reading a folk tale by the fire, it had that feeling, as it is some sort of retelling of Slavic folktales, I think. The story is rather slow and I felt it dragged its feet in some places. Especially towards the middle. But I always found it really fascinating and captivating read.
The Polar Bear Explorers ’Club - Alex Bell: ☆☆
This story never really captured my attention. I often found it rather confusing, a bit vapid and even a bit all over the place. There was not enough danger, not enough conflict and the main character got on my nerves a bit as I thought she was this typical 'I'm not like other girls' female character that you meet from time to time. Although I associate it mostly with YA books.
Daemon Voices - Philip Pullman: ☆☆☆☆
I did not read this book page by page, but when it comes to such a collection of essays and so on, I personally don't think you need to. I often have a hard time reading non-fiction and I usually find it more fun to listen to them. It's not a straightforward story that really pulls me forward as there is no plot. I am a plot driven person. So reading it did take some time, but I still found a lot of interesting thoughts and ponderings about what it means to tell stories, write them and publish them. It really made me ponder at least. And I also found a lot of great quotes as well.
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S.Lewis: ☆☆☆☆
I just wanted to reread one good and short classic that gives a little Christmas feeling. However, I was not always in the mood to re-read books and I didn't always find myself in the mood for it this Christmas. But that is not the fault of the book. I've read it before and loved it. I just do not re-read books often and I just often am not in the mood to read books during the Christmas holidays for some reason.
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Like everyone else in the fandom, I was gutted Lovestruck closed down. Even though the app is gone, my favourite stories and characters will always hold a special place in my heart 💕
I still intend to finish writing any Lovestruck WIP that are languishing in my GoogleDocs - I hate to leave things half-finished and hope that someone else may still enjoy it.
Newest content is marked with *** (uploaded in the past month-ish)
All characters/ routes/ series belong to Lovestruck not me, everything below is only for fun / entertainment.
Lovestruck Writing - Fics, HC’s, ABC’s, Poems etc
Queen of Thieves (MC - Daisy Silver)
Real Love - Leon x MC Fluff: Valentine’s Day is approaching, can Daisy come up with a special gift for her special guy?
Reward - Leon x MC Fluff: Can Daisy find a way to help speed up Leon’s recovery, or at least make it a little more fun...?
Leon finds out he’s going to be a Daddy Leon x MC Fluffy HC’s
***Forgotten Winter - Leon x MC MultiChapter LongFic: When your memories are shattered, how do you piece your life back together? AU focussed on what would have happened after the shooting at the end of Season 3, if Leon woke up with no memory of that night, or his romance with MC. I previously posted a couple of chapters on tumblr that have since been reworked and the whole thing posted AO3 - this has Angst, Fluff, NSFW, Poppy Banter and everything in between.
Santa Baby (Link takes you to my AO3) - Remy x MC Fluff: MC POV as she tries to help Remy find his missing festive spirit
Christmas Eve in Paris - Remy x MC Fluff: There is nothing more beautiful than Paris covered in snow, and no one better to see it with than the person you love.
Fluffy ABC Request - Remy x MC HC’s
The Language of Love - Remy x MC Fluff: Learning a new language is never not interesting!
Anaïs - Remy x MC Fluff: A tiny baby to love and teach!
Tick, Tick, Tick... - Jett x MC Angst: When their sexy games are rudely interrupted by kidnappers, where will Daisy end up? And how will she escape?
Happy Birthday! - Baby Remy, Vivienne & Nikolai: How will The Baby Poppy celebrate Remy’s birthday?
QOT Birthday HC’s - The Poppy Fluff: The gang make MC’s birthday special when they realise she’s missing her family...
Sick - Nikolai x MC Fluff: Nikolai is feeling poorly...
Then The Nightmares Come - Nikolai x MC Angst with a bit of Fluff?? : The tables are turned and Nikolai looks after Daisy when she has a nightmare.
Comfort - Nikolai x MC Angst from Remy POV: Remy worries about his best friend when a glass of red wine is spilled.
Asthma - Leon x MC: HC’s on what happens when MC develops the condition
Eurovision 2021 HC’s - The Whole Poppy: Eurovision antics with the gang!
Trouble in the Suez - The Whole Poppy: A fic celebrating the Ever Given that you didn’t know you wanted...
Real - Remy x MC 1/2 fluff 1/2 angst: MC POV as she struggles with keeping her real feelings in check during her first con.
A Lovestruck Limerick: Remy - I’m an idiot who loves a limerick, what can I say? May 2021 Fanhearts Winning Submission LOL
Kissing Prompts Requests: Four ficlets and one longfic based on a prompt list about kissing
Leon x MC - One person stopping a kiss to ask ‘do you want to do this?’ Only to have the other person answer its a deeper, more passionate kiss
Remy x MC - A kiss that is leading to more that is interrupted by a third party
Remy x MC - A gentle kiss that quickly descends into passion, with little regard for what’s going on around them
Remy x MC - A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished (this one’s the longfic)
Remy/Nikolai - kisses exchanged while one person sits on the other’s lap
Water Damage - Jett / Leon: who doesn’t love a prank?
Across the Tables (Link takes you to My AO3) - Remy’s Route: a monologue reimagined from The Dark Knight Rises (yes, Batman)
Missing You (Link takes you to My AO3) - Remy x MC - a tiny ficlet from MC POV while Remy’s working a long con
We Wish You a Poppy Christmas (Link takes you to My AO3) - The Whole Poppy - festive fun fic with everyone’s face found-family of thieves
My Favourite Things About France *NSFW* (Link takes you to My AO3) - Remy x MC: The Chevalier’s enjoy a coffee date, and other afternoon delights…
Jealousy (Link takes you to my AO3) - Nikolai POV: The Thief Lord works through some complex feelings about his best friend as Remy and MC’s relationship blossoms
Between the Sheets *NSFW* (Link takes you to my AO3) - Leon x MC: MC POV - it isn’t easy sleeping in the bed of the guy you can’t stop thinking about without letting your imagination run wild…
Deceiving Mr Jones *NSFW* (Link takes you to my AO3) Nikolai x MC: Nikolai POV - 3 chapters set during a new heist - Poppy banter and sexy games lie ahead…
Good Vibrations *slightly NSFW* (Link takes you to my AO3) Leon x MC - when they move some belongings to the Lavendar House, Leon makes a surprise discovery!
“Nikolai Day” (Link takes you to my AO3) The Whole Poppy: our fave gang plan some fun for the Thief Lord!
Sofia (Link takes you to my AO3) Nikolai x MC : AU one-shot where Nikolai has a teenage daughter.
Let’s Have a Baby! (Link takes you to my AO3) Remy x MC: when two members are expecting a baby, it leads to some Poppy mischief and hijinks!
The Blue Duck (Link takes you to my AO3) Leon x MC: a comedic mix up on their anniversary!
Compromise (Link takes you to my AO3) Remy POV: Remy seeks Nikolai’s counsel after a conversation with his younger brother troubles him.
Drabble Challenge: my endeavour to write ‘100 word drabbles’ that failed because I’m too wordy…. (Links all take you to my AO3)
Sway Leon POV: Ficlet of a late-night moment shared by Leon x MC
Just Right Remy POV: Ficlet focusing on Remy’s romantic musings during an early morning stroll…
Consent Jett POV: Ficlet of a poolside chat between Jett x MC after she got drunk the night before
The Curious Case of the Missing Bookmark Nikolai POV: A ficlet where a lost item has Nikolai a little concerned…
***Benoit & Casimir Ficlet Collection: I always hoped LoveStruck would give us a mini side-story of Casimir and Benoit’s relationship - a prequel to what we see in Nikolai’s route. As LoveStruck is gone and we never got this I wrote a little collection of short fics - first meeting, falling in love, breaking up, making up, etc. (Link takes you to my AO3)
Salsa (Links takes you to my AO3) MC POV: A little salsa dancing with Remy…
Hold Still (Link takes you to my AO3) Nikolai x MC: he doesn’t appreciate what she’s doing…
***Gilded Poppy Coffee Shop AU Collection: Standalone fics with different scenarios within a Coffee Shop setting, because I love a Coffee Shop AU (Links take you to my AO3)
Barista MC x Leon
Sin With Me (MC - Suzi Patrick)
Darius and Joyce (MC’s Mom) HC’s - fluffy HC’s on how MC’s Mom take a shine to ‘Lust’ and wants to look after him
Mmmm, Cake - Malakai x MC Fluff: What happens when you can’t make your mind up on where to get lunch?
Ow - Darius x MC Fluff: There’s not much worse than sore feet...
Astoria (MC - Grace McQueen)
Return to Coney Island - Cerberus x MC Fluff: They don’t often get a day off together, so wouldn’t it be fun to go to Coney Island without having to look for Thanatos?
Sweet Enchantments (MC - Ruby Greene)
Ruby’s Journal - a little poem about Roman from MC’s POV
Immortal Heart Society (MC - Lola DuValle)
Composure - short but angsty af HC on where I think this new series might go... Potential to be oh so wrong!
I’m Bringing Sexy Back (To Regency England) - featuring the one and only ‘Lord Timberlake’. This is utter crack, descriptions of the madness wouldn’t do it justice.
A Lovestruck Limerick: Cash - August 2021 Fanhearts Winner - someone over at LS is as silly as me LMAO
Lovestruck Arting - Sketches, Doodles, Moodboards,etc
Queen of Thieves
Unconditional Love - B&W arty sketch - Nikolai x Elizabeth
Cherry Blossoms in Paris - romantic fanhearts sketch - Leon x MC
Tango - B&W fanhearts sketch - Leon x MC
Wedding Day - fanhearts coloured sketch - Remy x MC
Chocolat Chaud - inky fanhearts doodle - Remy x MC
Moodboard - Remy
Kitty - cartoon doodle for fanhearts - Elizabeth 🐱
Cowgirl Viv - a fanhearts doodle
Heist-a-Horse a quick and silly fanhearts cartoon - Remy, Nikolai x MC
Moodboard - Nikolai
Un Petit Mari - chibi doodle - Remy
Tiny Nikolai - chibi doodle - Nikolai
“I’m a little teapot” - digital doodle - Nikolai
Astoria
Cerberus and his Aura - a little kawaii doodle
Bookworm (per request to @wlw-lovestruck-fiction) - Medusa
Pride - fanhearts digital drawing - Alex Cyprin
Sin With Me
By the Sea (per request to @wlw-lovestruck-fiction) - Onyx
Cal - sketch (part of sixfanarts)
Ripley - sketch (part of sixfanarts)
Moodboard - Malakai
Ripley - my HC of Ripley before she was a bear 🐻
Trick or Treat - fanhearts sketch - Avi
First Day of School - fanhearts Chibi - Avi
Wrath - fanhearts digital doodle
Sweet Enchantments
Turnip Love - cutesy fanhearts doodle
Turnip Vacation- fanhearts digital drawing
Tales of the Wild
Moodboard - Bram bear
Mystical Night - fanhearts digital drawing - Bram x MC
Enchanted Nights
Moodboard - Milo
#lovestruck#lovestruck fanfic#lovestruck fanart#queen of thieves#sin with me#sweet enchantments#afk#immortal heart society#tales of the wild
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August, October and minutes! ☺️💕
august: are any of your fics associated with certain genres/artists/songs/etc?
Ooh this is super fun!! So it's my greatest shame that like the first four are not musically titled (though still i think acceptably named), but at least even the best laid plans and bringing down the neighbourhood have lyrically titled chapters!!
Even the best laid plans is rio pov and the idea is that he's a nerdy vinyl hipster with eclectic taste (and thinks Beth's music taste is random, bc hypocrite). And the last chapter is set to dark side of the moon, so maybe that's what i associate with it the most? (although the chapter title is from an outkast song.)
Neighbourhood is Beth pov, and the chapter titles are mostly from songs refing locations within homes, but also i think representing what Beth's music taste could be? (sidenote: why won't the show give us a sense of this????). would probably make an excellent playlist tbh, when else do you get george formby, modest mouse and Luther vandross all together??
Then the rest all have lyrical titles, that i at least wrote somewhat towards and i do associate the source with the fic. Eg people can be so cold is pretty romcomish and it's about beth and rio's friendship, and it's named for a line from you've got a friend by carole King and i think it definitely suits whatever genre of music that song is...pop ballad?? Idk I'm bad at believing in or identifying genres.
Or what a sight to see is named from a reggae song (vampire by black uhuru) and i like that kind of... Upbeat sound combined with a more insidious topic for it?
Dirty dirty game is named from i'll call before i'll come by outkast, and incorporates at least one line from the song (i won't just pop over, out the blue). And i mean... It's sort of the moral of the song 😅
Waiting for someone who needs me is ofc named from genie in a bottle, one of the greatest pop songs of all time, and i like a poppy vibe for it?
The to everything there is a season series takes its name from turn turn turn (to everything there is a season), cos i just think it's an amazing name!! During drafting part 3 i was thinking a lot of agony in her body by sage Francis too though!!!!
Anyhoo this is probably a topic to not get me started on as I can go forever 🙊🙊🙊
september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?
Um well ALL of them ❤ but if I'm picking a specific one, @nottonyharrison on dirty dirty game bc, well actually I'm not going to get into it again bc i will end up flinging my phone away from me yet again and i can't afford to break any more electronics atm 😂 but it was extremely nice and it made me fling my phone away
minutes: how long does it normally take you to complete a fic?
Time, you see, it is fake. I don't know!! I think this is different for different stories? I think the process has broadly gotten more time intensive over, uh, time. And my one shots seem to be getting longer (oh no!).
I think about ideas for a while before i ever start them? And then i write in head a while before setting anything down, and then the editing is usually fairly lengthy.
And i think the answer is vastly different depending on story length - 1600 words is v different to 16000! This feels like a stealth maths question, so all i can say is: some amount of time.
#Music#It bugs me that we don't know Beth's music taste in the show#Beyond piano and kidzbopz#I wouldn't mind the hitman plot if i could know what she's doing her murder dance too#Annie and Ruby get to have musical tastes and sing!#Rio gets to be a loser with a vinyl collection and an indie record label#Ok we know she likes beyoncé#What a unique trait!#Agony in her body is such a good song#Day one i played with her blood#Is an OPENING#I can legit go on abt titles and soundtracks 5eva#Time is fake#Writing#On writing#Fanfiction#Fanfic#No more counting
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Books I’ve read this month
Because I always mean to write reviews and make recs lists and the like, and I never do, so here’s me actually holding myself to that.
(Though none of these are reviews, really)
(I mean, if you know the sorts of things I like in a book, you could probably figure some things out, but otherwise...well, I tried)
(sort of)
FINISHED:
The Ruin of Kings (Book 1 of A Chorus of Dragons, by Jenn Lyons):
This book kept showing up everywhere so I figured I’d give it a try. Overall I have somewhat mixed feelings about it; there were some things I loved and some things I was less sure about, and I think I’ll need to see more of the series before I decide. The way POV is handled is interesting, because it takes what might otherwise be a gimmick and turns it into an examination of identity, voice, agency, and perception that stands out as one of the strongest parts of the book. I’m also always here for explorations of divinity and mortality and the spaces in between. Typically of me, I latched straight on to a character whose presence can quite literally be described as marginal, but I have hope. I do recommend reading with some graph paper to hand, to keep track of the genealogies.
Also, “A Chorus of Dragons”???? Some people get all the best titles.
The Immortals Quartet (Wild Magic, Wolfspeaker, The Emperor Mage, The Realm of the Gods, by Tamora Pierce):
I didn’t really expect to like these books, and...I didn’t really like these books. Tamora Pierce definitely features on my Childhood Reading List, but I never got around to these; I’m really not an animal person, and books about talking animals or people with magical bonds to animals just don’t do it for me (unless they’re dragons. Then it’s different). But I wanted to read Tempests and Slaughter, because I thought Numair might be as close as Tamora Pierce comes to writing My Type, so I figured these were a prerequisite. Which brings us to...
Tempests and Slaughter (Book 1 of ??? by Tamora Pierce):
It’s called Tempests and Slaughter and it’s the origin story of an absurdly powerful sorcerer, so surely it’ll be my kind of thing, right? Except...it wasn’t. It was enjoyable, and it was very Tamora Pierce, but I guess that’s why I was disappointed; I like Tamora Pierce, and I enjoyed many of her books as a child, but I was expecting this to be something a bit different from her usual, and it wasn’t. Break him, Tamora. Break him and I’ll be interested.
The Poppy War (Book 1 of The Poppy War, by R.F. Kuang):
This book is about, amongst other things, the weaponisation of gods. Which...I mean, I could just leave it there, because if ever a book had a one-sentence selling point designed specifically for me, that would be it.
It begins in a way that feels familiar and almost cozy with nostalgia to someone who grew up reading Tamora Pierce and Ender’s Game and Harry Potter: fantasy school stories, where the first half is an extended training montage. And then it becomes more like the other things I grew up reading: darker, far more painful, and--which delighted me most--far less of a heroic origin story than I expected. Oh, it’s an origin story, all right, but...well. Rin is a great protagonist; she’s got frightening determination and competence, but also some harsh edges, prejudices, flaws in her judgment. And this book does not shy from that; I was genuinely surprised at just how far it committed, by the end, to things I always wish I could see play out on-screen but so rarely do.
Other highlights: the lack of a romance sub-plot, the complete nonchalance with which both Rin and the narrative itself treat choices she makes regarding her body that many stories tend to dwell excessively on, and a parallel to a specific historical event that, for all that the larger context of said event is the basis for thousands upon thousands of stories, is itself rarely referenced so...directly. (How’s that for cryptic?)
This Is How You Lose the Time War (by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone):
What a book. I’d been waiting for this one for a while, because despite how cagey the authors were when talking about it, it definitely seemed like it was going to be an enemies-to-lovers story, but with time travel. They were also cagey about the characters’ genders, which made me hope that this might even be a queer enemies-to-lovers story, but with time travel. I was not disappointed.
I’m not always a fan of time travel stories, but this worked for me, mostly because while time travel does play a fundamental role, it also manages to be a background element in a story that is at its core about two enemy agents discovering each other. At times it reads almost like a fairytale, or perhaps a dream (when it doesn’t read like a love letter across a battlefield). Also, the prose. Some out-of-context quotes, just so you see what I’m talking about: ‘Ask the pilgrims how the labyrinth came to be, and they offer answers varied as their sins’ or ‘Gods and children first, they fill the boats’ or ‘the kind of London other Londons dream: sepia tinted, skies strung with dirigibles, the viciousness of empire acknowledged only as a rosy backdrop glow redolent of spice and petalled sugar’.
***
UNFINISHED:
The Gathering Storm (Book 12 of The Wheel of Time, by Robert Jordan):
don’t @ me.
The Game of Kings (Book 1 of The Lymond Chronicles, by Dorothy Dunnett):
This has now been recommended to me twice, once when I specifically asked for books with betrayals and once by someone who sold it to me as my exact sort of thing, so I figured I should give it a go. I’ve now read the first chapter and come to a few conclusions. First: I have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. Second: I’m not sure I’m supposed to know what the fuck is going on. Third: Yeah, despite the fact that I don’t read as much historical fiction, this feels like my kind of thing (lovely prose! Obscure references! A protagonist who sets his own family’s home on fire for fun!). Fourth: This is definitely not a book to read with half my attention while commuting. So... putting this one on hold for now; I want to come back to it but right now my non-commuting reading time is mostly reserved for liveblogging WoT.
The Copper Promise (Book 1 of The Copper Cat, by Jen Williams):
This is one I’ve seen a lot of good things about, but ultimately it just...felt like reading someone’s D&D campaign. And don’t get me wrong, it reads like a campaign that would be great fun to play in...but as a novel it doesn’t quite come together for me. There are elements of an interesting story, and there are some fun characters, but it lacks a certain depth of world and investment in what’s happening; I put it down and forgot to pick it back up again.
#book recs#or something#book reviews#if I'm being pretentious#I also reread a few things#but what I did not do#was update the damn liveblog#so this whole list is just a self-drag really#recommendations
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The Twenty-First Night of September
Chapter 1
Words: 4654
Warnings: None
Summary: The Giver is just the sweetest, nicest, most thoughtful, most considerate troll in the entire village, because Poppy says so, and Poppy is never wrong. She just kind of didn't think maybe the Giver might be Branch. // The AU no one asked for. Pre-film. Multi-chapter. Eventual Branch/Poppy. Dual POV. Extremely slow burn.
Notes: This idea has come an incredibly long way to tell you guys the truth. I initially thought up the plot right after S1 dropped LAST January ((dfghgfrhgfgb can you BELIEVE this series has survived an entire year)) but I didn't actually do anything with it - I typed up a couple rough drafts here and there, but none of them felt right, and at one point, it even got turned into an RP ((with my buddy @etheriumart, they have an account on here and Fanfiction, check them out u cowards)) and I was pretty much on the verge of abandoning it completely, but I decided to give it one more go.
Fun fact, this is actually only my third time writing from Poppy's perspective ever (Just Friends and One Night being the first two) so I'm very much still learning. How have I been in this fandom for a solid two years now and only written twice from Poppy's POV? blasphemy. she deserves my respect. Anyway, though, the next chapter should be from Branch's point of view, so I'll get back to my regularly scheduled programming then lmao. Honest feedback's very very appreciated! I know I got lots of room to improve, and outsiders' opinions usually help with that.
Set several years before the movie, by the way, so Branch and Poppy are both in their teens for now!
Read on Fanfiction or AO3
"Are you sure about all this, Poppy?" Smidge asked, for what had to be the thousandth time, big, deceptively soft-looking baby-blue eyes wide as they could go, apprehension and uncertainty plain on her little face. "Just think about what you're missing!" She swept a small hand through the air, fingers spread, and gestured loosely to the crowd of colorful trolls below, packed shoulder-to-shoulder, bodies swaying energetically to DJ's latest mix—which was amazing, by the way, as always, Poppy was going to absolutely shower the girl in hugs and compliments the minute the party wound down—
Oh. Right. Reassure Smidge. Gotta reassure Smidge. Focus, Poppy. This is too important for distractions.
She pulled her lips up in the brightest smile she could manage, and nodded enthusiastically. "I know, I know, it's all so super-amazing-tastic, I love it, but—but I—" if she let herself close her eyes she knew she'd see the lonely little figure in her mind, as dark and mysterious and unreachable as they always were, lingering nervously on the edge of the village with hungry, unseen eyes fixed on the dancing trolls below, watching and watching and watching and never joining—Poppy felt the grin on her face begin to falter. "—I can't," there was no way anyone but Smidge could hear her over the deafening pound of DJ's music, but she dropped her voice to a whisper anyway—no need to drag the whole party down with her, "I—I can't stand the thought that there's a troll out there somewhere who's not having fun like the rest of us. They deserve to be happy as much as we do, they deserve to be as happy as they've made us."
The words bolstered Poppy, even if they were her own—she even mustered the strength to hitch her smile back on her face. Somewhere out there, creeping unseen and unknown and, worst of all, unthanked, through the gloom of the village was a troll who cared, who cared so much they sacrificed their every Harvest Moon to bring the rest of the town a night full of wonder and laughter and love and happiness—somewhere out there was a troll who cared, who wanted with everything in them to make people happy, and Poppy would spend her whole life, if she had to, making sure they got some of that happiness back.
"But that's just it, Poppy," Smidge spread her hands out helplessly, "what if they're happy the way they are? And even if they aren't, it's not like we can do anything about it! We have no idea who they are!"
"I know," Poppy admitted—God, did she know. The music-playing, confetti-spraying thank-you cards obviously hadn't been special enough for the mystery gift-giver to reveal themselves—she'd even rigged up one to sing a song she'd written herself! Specifically for the Giver! Maybe the title had been too on the nose? "The Gratitude Song" didn't leave much room for imagination, she had to admit.
But the anonymous troll had even snubbed the parties! How many crazy-loud recognition parties had she promised to throw them if only they'd come forward?! Flashing lights! A minimum five pounds of glitter! Disco balls! A special thank-you mix from DJ Suki herself! What more could any troll in their right mind even want?!
Well—Poppy hastily fought off the giggle bubbling in the back of her throat—Branch probably would have snubbed the parties. Would have called them a "safety hazard", or something like that. He was really funny that way. Ooh, just wait 'til she got to tell Branch she'd found out who the Giver was! Of course, she still had to do the actual finding-out part, but when she did, ooh! She couldn't wait to rub his smirking face in it. He was so infuriatingly confident that no one would ever, ever know, and always asked annoyingly pointed questions that made her wonder—"If this 'Gifter' weirdo wants to remain anonymous, shouldn't you respect that?"—and shot her that snarky little half-smile at the end of it. Yeah, she was gonna have some serious fun with Branch, just as soon as she'd unmasked the Giver.
She threw her shoulders back and stood up a little straighter at the thought. If nothing else, she could at least have the satisfaction of giving Branch a big, fat I told you so.
"I'm gonna head out," she told Smidge, and bounced to the edge of the giant flat-topped orange mushroom. "See you later!" She threw herself straight down into the heart of the wildly-dancing crowd, laughing out loud into the breeze rushing past her face, and ripping all the breath from her lungs—countless pairs of gentle hands caught her, seized her by the arms or legs or dress, passing her smoothly from troll to troll—she surfed easily all the way to the back of the crowd, slid neatly from Moxie Dewdrop's arms, shot her a quick smile of thanks, and made her way out of the pod.
She didn't let her feet stop moving until she'd gotten a good way away from it all, pausing to adjust from the bright lights and blaring noise of the party to the sudden darkness and silence of the forest staring back at her—the air, when it hit her lungs, tasted uniquely of autumn, sweet and spicy and a touch smoky, too, like the amazing cider Biggie always made special for the Harvest Moon—ooh, she wanted another glass already—
No. No, this was too important to let herself get distracted. Eyes on the prize.
Right. The "prize" being the absolutely ginormous, record-breaking thank-you she'd finally finally finally get to give when she found out the mystery troll's true identity—ooh, she'd planned it all down to the last detail—the Giver would smile, of course they'd smile, who didn't smile when someone thanked them? Ooh, and she'd bet her flower crown that their smile would be the really nice kind that made their whole entire face light up like the sun and—!
There!
Poppy's heart nearly ripped itself out of her chest at the sight of the dark, hooded figure, smaller than even Smidge at this distance, darting nimbly from one pod to the next, enormous sack slung over one shoulder, cutting an awkward and lurching and hunchbacked figure in the ivory moonlight.
Oh, my God! It's happening!
Okay, okay, okay, stay calm, stay calm, she just needed to stay calm and catch up to them and convince them to tell her who they really were and then she could thank them and together, they could go back to the party and tell the village and everyone would swarm the Giver in hugs and thank-yous and the Giver would never ever have to be sad or alone on the Harvest Moon again, and everything would be all cupcakes and rainbows for everyone! Easy!
Focus. Poppy dragged in a breath, and shook out her hair to its fullest length—she wrapped the bubblegum-pink tips around the nearest tree limb, and swung herself up into the sky, swathed momentarily in a blanket of rich sapphire studded with a hundred thousand sparkling stars, landing lightly in the tree with the rough bark scratching painfully at the bottoms of her bare feet. She winced, and lifted her legs to rub at her stinging toes—no, no, no time for that! Poppy gave herself a shake. She had a Giver to thank!
For what felt like hours she flew, weightless, through the all-encompassing dark, with her heart in her mouth and the blood pounding in her ears—the wood sped by beneath her, moon-dusted, leafless trees gleaming faintly silver under the faint light—one branch, then another, then the next—nearly there now—nearly there—
There, that was it! That was the pod the Giver had disappeared into! Only just up ahead! Poppy shimmied across the last limb on her stomach and leapt, like a cat, through the open window—the impact jolted her a bit, reverberating up her legs—she wobbled lightly where she stood, and smothered a swear—Smidge could have pulled it off better—
Oh. Oh, God. Oh, God, the Giver was right there!
Ooh, she could scream—no, no, she couldn't scream, she couldn't! She didn't want to scare them! The Giver hadn't seen her yet—standing with their back to her, and hood pulled up to hide their hair—ugh, unfair, how was she supposed to try and guess who it was if she couldn't see their hair?
Nope, it'd just be more fun this way! She wanted to look the Giver in the eye when she finally unmasked them!
They'd ditched their sack right by the window—already half-empty? This troll worked fast. Respect!—and without the weight, their motions had become quicker, more fluid, actually kind of graceful—
—bet they're a good dancer, then—
The Giver knelt by the bed to put down the poorly-wrapped present in their hand, reached to reposition the bright yellow bow so it sprang up, arching cheerfully toward the pod's low ceiling, and took a little step back, as if to admire the effect—
A sudden, fierce swell of affection flooded up in Poppy's chest—if the gifts themselves weren't telling enough, the tender way this troll touched them certainly was—the half-second they took to spruce them up, make sure they looked their absolute best for their recipient—ooh, she just wanted to hug them! Right now!
No, no, not right now—plenty of time for hugging later—first she had to find out who they were—
Poppy couldn't keep from bouncing a little, up and down, on her toes, fluffy purple carpet muffling the sound. Finally finally finally! The moment was here! The moment had come! After years and years and years of getting the nicest, sweetest, most considerate and thoughtful gifts ever, and getting to see the rest of the village so happy, she finally got to say—
"Thank you!"
The Giver actually screamed out loud—Poppy really felt a bit bad about it, to be honest. They jumped a mile in the air—they'd even put on boots, she noted in the back of her mind when their feet left the floor—they must be seriously into this whole anonymity thing. She could only assume the dancer's elegance of only a minute ago had completely deserted them, because after a long minute of stumbling and tottering and flailing and just generally tripping all over themselves, they landed in a messy heap of dark cloth on the carpet.
Oops.
"I—I'm sorry!" Poppy barreled from her spot by the window and over to the crumpled form of the fallen Giver, hand rising on instinct to help them back to their feet. "Are you okay?"
"Amazing," The Giver grunted out, in a way that didn't sound like they meant it at all—which didn't make sense, why would anyone say something they didn't mean?
The Giver rolled over on the floor, rudely ignored her outstretched hand, and pushed themselves to their feet—no, his feet, she corrected herself, his feet—the thick hood of the black jacket and the dark glasses completely obscured their face, but what little she could see—broad nose, sharp jaw, hollow cheeks—what little she could see belonged to a man, that voice belonged to a man—no—no, not a man—a boy—definitely a boy, she decided, after a second glance, and a boy not much older than her—it took her a second to wrap her mind around the thought—she'd sort of imagined the Giver as an old man, to tell the truth, with grey-streaked hair and wrinkles, like her dad, but even in the shadows, she could see the dull skin was smooth—dull skin—the revelation jolted her—oh, no, oh, no, no, no! Oh, the poor troll, oh, no, his colors must be dimmed, oh, the poor thing—and his voice, it wasn't a voice she'd ever imagined for the Giver at all, even when she got past the way it had cracked right in the middle.
The Giver's voice was gentle, she'd decided, a long time ago, very gentle and soft and benevolent, like ocean waves lapping at the shore, the kind of voice that sounded nice all the time, the kind of voice that was just made for singing and telling stories and reciting poetry and lulling little children to sleep—the kind of voice that just made you want to keep listening—angelic, almost, she'd told herself, but this—this didn't sound like that sort of voice at all—no offense to the Giver, no, no, she didn't mean that in a bad way, just—well, it was all—rough and uneven and—
—and familiar—
The Giver tugged lightly at the edges of his hood and stepped past her, head down, face carefully averted—no, no, he was—he was leaving, no, he couldn't be leaving—
"Wait!" Poppy pushed her whirling thoughts to the back of her mind, and scrambled after him. "Wait, wait, wait!" She didn't really pause to think about the rest of it—she just sort of. Well. She threw herself at him, wrapped her arms as tight as she could around his black-clad legs, and hauled him back down to the floor. "I don't even know who you are!"
"Poppy—!"
Oh. Oh, God. Her name left his lips, and she froze. There was only one troll in the whole entire village who talked to her like that, with all that—that annoyance, and that exasperation, and that frustration, and—
The glasses slipped off the bridge of his wide nose, and he actually chose to press his face to the carpet before he'd let himself look at her, but—God, but it didn't matter anymore, did it, she didn't need to see his face, she knew, she knew and there was no going back—the dull skin, the dimmed colors, it should have been a giveaway, how had it not been a giveaway?!
The Giver was—the Giver—he—he was—
"Branch?!"
He stiffened and went still beneath her, gloved hands clenching up in fists against the vibrant violet floor. "I—" For half a second, it sounded like he was about to start yelling at her. "—I'm sorry, Princess," he said instead, in a very, very Not-Branch voice, "I think you must be hearing things, because I can assure you, I am not—"
"Branch," Poppy cut him off, and pushed herself up on her palms, swinging her legs over his sides to sit on him more comfortably, "give it up." In spite of the disbelief still roiling through her like a storm at sea, she felt a giggle bubbling up in the back of her throat at her choice of words. "Should be easy for you, huh?" She couldn't suppress the laugh anymore, and it erupted uncontrollably out of her, mirth merging with her shock to make the sound more than a little bit hysterical. "Guess you're pretty good at giving."
And Branch—Branch hissed at her! Actually hissed at her! Between his teeth! Like a snake! Ooh, she wished she could see his face! He always made the funniest faces when he was flustered. "Shut up."
"'Shut up'?" Poppy clamped her hand over her mouth, but the snort made its way out anyway. "A-and here I thought you had a—gift—for language!"
"Poppy, I swear to God—!"
Another loud shout of half-incredulity and half-amusement ripped its way out of her mouth, and she threw back her head—there was no way she could swallow it back anymore—her sides were already beginning to ache in protest, and she clutched weakly for her heaving ribs. Oh, God. Oh, God, Branch was the Giver. Did not see that coming. At all.
It was just—well, it was just—well, Branch didn't care. About anyone, or anything, except his bunker, but that—that didn't count, Poppy didn't count that, because the bunker wasn't real, it didn't have feelings, so it couldn't care about Branch back and—look. Look. The point. The point was this. Branch didn't care about things.
And that didn't mean he didn't have his good qualities, because he did! Sure, if it came down to it, he'd probably leave the village for dead, but he was funny, and he had lots of interesting things to say about the forest if she only waited him out or wore him down, and he was so fun to argue with, he always had a comeback for everything, and just because he didn't care about things didn't mean those weren't all good qualities, so there!
But—but if Branch was the Giver, then that would mean—
—that would mean—
"Branch," Poppy said, and the sound of her own voice in her ears startled her, far more than it should have, and she had to swallow and start again, "Branch, why are you doing all this?"
"God, Poppy," Branch's hands fisted against the floor again, and he shifted a little underneath her, "I don't have time for this. In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of in a hurry."
"No, why?" Poppy finally had the Giver in her grasp, and she didn't care anymore that it was Branch, she didn't care that he was grumpy and snarky and hated her parties and didn't like glitter and wouldn't let her hug him at Hug-Time and didn't care, she finally had the Giver in her grasp, and she wasn't letting him go, not until he'd told her everything there was to tell. "I mean, if you want to give us presents, why don't you just—give us presents? Without all—this?"
"I don't," Branch growled, "want to give any of you anything."
"Or—or better yet," Poppy decided to ignore that last part—obviously a blatant lie, right? Right? "Better yet, why don't you just—I don't know, not act like you can't stand us? I-I mean, if you care, why don't you act like it?"
"Okay, fine," Branch pushed himself up on his palms, and twisted over onto his back to look at her—she slipped a little with the sudden movement, but grabbed at his shoulder and held on, "I guess I have to break it down for you, huh? Okay. Here we go. I hate every single goddamn one of you."
"But," Poppy knew well the signs of a full-on Branch bitch-rant, and she needed to head it off like, ten minutes ago. The guy could really just go for hours if you were dumb enough to let him get started. "But you don't. Because you're the Giver."
"Oh, my God, Poppy!" He lifted an arm, and shoved her to the floor in one swift motion. "Okay, fine! I admit it! I'm the Giver! Now let me go! I still have about seven dozen of these left to deliver, the party could end any minute, I really don't have time for—!"
"The party!" Oh! Oh, God! Ooh, this was going to be even more fun than chasing the Giver! "Oh, my gosh, Branch, the party! Come on, come on, come on!" She jumped to her feet, and yanked on his arm. "Come on! Up! We gotta get back before it ends!"
"Um." Branch flicked at her knuckles until she let go. "Right. Yeah. Have fun with that." He got to his feet, and dusted off the front of his dark jacket.
"What? No, no, no," Poppy giggled—right, right, her bad! She kind of hadn't really explained that too well, had she? Oh. Well. Fixing! "We gotta tell the village, my man!"
"What?!" Branch tried to spin around to face her, but he really just did that thing again where he tripped all over himself and flailed. "No! No no no no no no no! No!" He clumsily regained his balance, and shook his head wildly back and forth, so hard he looked like he was gonna give himself whiplash.
"Yes!" Poppy countered, and nodded vigorously to prove her point. "Just wait until they hear about you, Branch! Oh, buddy, they're gonna love you!"
"If I did everything so the village would love me, I'd never have done a useful thing in my entire life."
"I didn't hear that!" Poppy clapped her hands over her ears. "Come on!" She motioned, with her elbow, to the open window. "What are you waiting for? Let's go!"
"No," Branch repeated, so firmly she could read the word as it formed on his lips. "The village is never going to know."
"But—" Poppy deflated a little. Her hands slipped off her ears. But didn't he—didn't he want—? "But Branch, how are they supposed to thank you if they don't know it's you?"
"I—I don't—" the pale purple flush crawling up Branch's cheeks glowed like a beacon in the dim light of the empty pod, "—I don't want—" He dragged in a breath, and it sounded painful, like it snagged somewhere in the back of his throat and for half a second, Poppy thought he was going to say—something, she didn't—she didn't know what, but something important, something that mattered, something that meant something and she knew if he did, all the barriers behind his eyes would finally fall and she'd see—
His hands clenched back up in fists. "I don't need," he lifted his head, and stuck out his chin, "I don't need your stupid gratitude."
Branch turned sharply on his heel, and stomped over to the dark, half-empty sack still waiting for him by the window. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I—"
"Wait!" Poppy edged forward as far as she dared, as far as she thought he'd let her get before he stepped back. "Wait! Let me help!"
Branch dropped the sack again. "What?"
"You said it yourself! The party could end any minute!" Poppy jerked her thumb in the direction of the glowing pod, even though she knew it couldn't be seen from here. "If we split the gifts between us, we can get done with the delivery way before anyone comes home!"
Branch snorted. "Right. Yeah. Like I'm gonna do that." He swung the sack back on his shoulder.
Stubborn ass. Poppy was seriously about to stamp her foot. "Why not?! No, don't answer that," she added, when he opened his mouth, because that snarky half-smile was already curling up his lip, and she really just could not deal with one of his smart remarks right about now, "don't. This is, like, super important to the village! It makes 'em all really happy, Branch! I wanna help with that! Let me help with that!"
And—oh, God, here was officially the craziest part of the entire night—Branch looked at her. Just—just looked at her. It wasn't a glare, it wasn't a scowl, it wasn't even one of those tired, dead-eyed glances. It wasn't even a smirk, like when he'd just got in a really good jab at her, and had to show off how insufferably cocky he could be. He didn't do any of that. He just looked at her. Like—oh, God, like he was seriously considering—
"No."
What?!
Okay. Fine. That was fine! Time to bring out the big guns, Poppy supposed. All was fair in love and war, and all of that. Hmm. No. Gifts and war? Giftery and war? Giftery. Was giftery a word? It should be.
Oops. Sidetracked. She shook her head, and lifted her chin.
"If you don't let me help," she jammed her hands on her hips, and tried to look as intimidating as possible, "I guess I'll just—" she lifted one shoulder, and dropped it an instant later in a half-shrug, "—have to tell the village."
Every last ounce of color drained from Branch's face.
"Mm. Well." She headed for the window straight past him, and smothered a smile when he reflexively stumbled out of her way. Ha! She never made him step aside! She should try this intimidation thing more often. It was fun. "Nice talkin' to you! See ya, Branch!" She stepped to the edge of the window, and shook out her hair for good measure. "Ooh," she added, on impulse, "I'll have to help the kids with their thank-you cards tomorrow, that'll be super-fun!" Okay, now she got why Branch smirked all the time when he said something snarky! Ooh, this was so fun! Why had no one ever told her it was this fun to mess with him?
"W-wait!" Right on cue. Branch bolted toward her, stumbling over the clunky, awkward boots, and threw out a frantic hand. His fingers, warm even through the thick gloves, latched onto her wrist.
Poppy arched her eyebrows. Ooh, she was not gonna make this easy on him! Not in the slightest. "Yes?"
"You—you—" He looked anywhere but at her, purple flush returning to his face with a vengeance, "—you can help, okay? Th-there. I said it. Happy?"
"Yes!" Poppy bounced backward into the pod. "Oh, my gosh, this is gonna be so so so so much fun—!"
"Ground rules," Branch said coolly, and jabbed a finger at her, "no singing. No dancing. No running off and telling the village anyway."
"Branch, do you really think I'd break my word?"
"Yes. Without hesitation." He opened up the sack, pulled out a few brightly-colored boxes, and thrust them at her. "Now let's get this over with."
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