#anyway agnes is actually my mcs name for this book | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightwhite13 · 4 years

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trigger warning: internalized homophobia, homophobia, some patriarchal/heteronormativity bs, abusive parents, nsfw-ish (?)

p.s: pls tell me if the keep reading thing isn’t working on mobile and pls tell me how to make it work, jkdhjkshjk. i literary had a fever last night and this chapter made it worse

anyway, tagging @somewillwin

“What are you still doing here?” You asked Bea when you saw her hovered near your phone. You’re not dumb; you know she’s watching you when you type in your passcode. Good thing you changed it at the last minute before she came to the club last night. Otherwise, it would get awkward if she saw you enter her birthday as your passcode.

You let her get some dirt on you, after all, you’ve got a full arsenal to bring her down to her knees. It’s fun, trying to top one another, in almost every sense. Your favorite was the one that happened just a few minutes ago in your bed, who knew Farmsville got a game.

“Just want to say good night.”

You rolled your eyes, but can’t help the smirk on your lips as you heard Bea’s soft laugh. You wished you had more time to tire her out, to scream out your name over and over again until her voice reduced to nothing but a hoarse whisper, begging for your mercy. Like how it always goes in one of your fantasies of her.

You sauntered to her, swaying your hips and you noticed how Bea’s eyes glued to your hips. You remembered her strong arms holding your hips tightly as you pleasure yourself against her defined abs.

“Go back to your place, Bea.”

“Oh, so now I’m Bea.” She had the nerve to smirk, asshole.

You sighed and pulled her chain to make her closer, you can see her shock before it morphed into something else.

Excitement.

“Go home, Bea.” You whispered softly, trying to savor her reaction every time you called her by her name instead of stupid nicknames you come up with.

“And why should I comply?”

“Because your queen ordered you.” You said before you kiss her hard.

It’s so addictive, kissing her.

You never knew what addiction looks like before, you never had a problem with one. Even when your distant cousin tried to explain it to you about her addiction to gambling, you just drew blank.

But now.

Now, you understood.

And it’s such dangerous, exhilarating, and thrilling feelings that’s ever grace your cold heart.

You nipped her bottom lips, drawing out her soft moans, her hands holding your hips, keeping you closer to her. You chuckled darkly when you backed away from her, dropping the chain that you gripped while kissing her, to keep yourself from touching her. “Get lost; I don’t want to see your ugly face again.”

She just laughed and kissed the tip of your nose, probably because you said it jokingly instead with hatred like you used to.

“Okay your majesty,” Bea smiled. “Sweet dream.”

You just hummed and watched her walk away. You let your imagination run a little wild for a while, thinking what other toys she would probably enjoy. She would look good spread on your bed, hands and legs tie up to your bedpost, all those muscles straining against your handiwork. A gag ball won’t hurt either, since she couldn’t shut up even just for a second. Always have something smart to say, always trying to get the last word. It would be fun to hear her muffle moans as you fuck her with your strap-on. Should you whip out your nipple clamp too? Or is it too early for second fucking session?

“Yo, Poppy.”

Her voice pulled you out from your fantasy. “What?” You said with perfect tone, as if you’re not just imagining her squirming beneath you.

Before she closes your door, she glances at you and smirks. “We would probs do it again.”

“In your dreams, Hughes.”

And oh, what a dream it was.

Until the ringing of your phone and the name “Father” flashed on your phone.

_____________________________________________________________

Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.

Your father’s words echoed within the bathroom, reminding you how wrong this was over and over again. You grit your teeth and clutched the marble sink until your knuckles turn white, hoping the coldness from it would cool you down, but it didn’t work.

You lift your eyes, meeting with your reflection in the mirror. You growled when you saw Farmsville leave a mark on your collarbone, God what an asshole. Such a rude and stupid and annoying asshole. You should’ve left your mark on hers as well, oh how you wish you bit her swan-like neck a little harder until it leaves a mark. Or digging your nails just a little deeper on her perfectly strong back. God, all those muscles, hiding beneath garbage bags all this time. You licked your swollen lips, wishing it was Bea’s.

Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl, Poppy.

Now it was your mother’s voice. Reminding you why falling in love with a girl is wrong.

“You are the heir of our family’s company!” Your father roared angrily at the day when your parents found out about you and Agnes. “Do not embarrass our family.”

Agnes, your sweet Agnes.

You’re both still so young, junior high school. But you knew right away that you didn’t like boys that way. At first you thought it’s because they’re always smell so awful, always fighting, always talking too loud, talking about something dumb, anything. You never ran out of reason to hate boys. It never occurred to you that, maybe, you just didn’t like them that way. No one taught you that you can feel that way towards boys, no one told you that you can feel that way towards girls.

“No daughter of mine is gay!” Your Father spat the word with venom, while you just cowered in fear. You looked over to your mother, but she’s already looking at you with disappointment and disgust.

“Good girl falls in love with a good boy and then becomes a good wife for her husband!”

You tried to hold back your tears; you don’t want your Father to hit you again.

It wasn’t even a kiss on the lips; Agnes just kissed your forehead after you told her that you’re sad.

You told someone about your feelings, and look what happened? Your parents threw her out like she’s a roach, unworthy of anything good in this world.

You should’ve just stayed silent; you should’ve just barked at her when she tried to hug you. You should’ve pushed her away when she’s introducing herself. You should’ve just kept your feelings to yourself, bottled everything up and hope you can survive.

Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.

That’s why you’re blooming feelings with Bea is a threat. You hate yourself when you realize this feelings you had every time you saw Bea everywhere. With her almost stood tall over everyone, even some of the boys, her annoying laugh and that smirk. And you have to do everything to stop this from spreading inside you, poisoning you and turning you into something that you’re not. Into something that your parents hate.

The last thing you want is to be on the receiving end of your parents’ wrath, not again.

You closed your eyes and counted to three before you picked your phone and sent those embarrassing video of Bea to everyone on Belvoire.

You checked your reflection in the mirror, you didn’t notice you’ve cried, tears are streaming down on your cheeks, but your heart feels so numb and cold. You squashed away all of this feeling, trying to numb your heart once again. It worked before with Agnes, it could work with Bea, right?

After all, you’re a good girl.

And good girls don’t fall in love with another girl.

And yet…

#poppy x mc #poppy min sinclair #queen b #my fics #anyway agnes is actually my mcs name for this book #i promise ill write another poppy x mc #its fun writing from poppys pov #makepoppyali2020

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