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sanjisock · 5 years

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this, at least

ao3

The most annoying thing about this whole falling in love thing, Zoro decides, is the fact that he doesn’t even have a say in it.

One day he catches Sanji’s eyes across the table during dinner and it’s a multitude of things at once: like the clearing of fog at dawn, a flood, a thunderclap. Something ended. Something started. Zoro’s breath catches in his throat, a hitch, thick and unyielding; and then Sanji looks away, and Zoro still can’t fucking breathe.

He tries to backtrack, mentally — tries to put the knowledge away, tuck it at the back of his mind, but he can’t stop staring at the Cook’s dumb face and the dumb cigarette in between his teeth and the dumb three-piece suit he keeps wearing, and Zoro knows there’s no turning back from this one. Like a cut from a sword, swift and final.

He’s in love. And it’s as terrible as everyone makes it to be.

It’s stupid.

He finds himself watching Sanji, following his movements around the ship — the way he likes to smoke in the morning with his back against the railings, the rising sun in his hair, washing it golden; the way he darts around the ship to help everyone with their own tasks, helping Usopp with the laundry and Franky with the reparations and Chopper and Nami and everyone, constantly, without fail, never resting; the way he goes through packs of cigarettes every day and yet still smells like the salt of some distant sea.

They arrive on a nameless port and part ways but Zoro watches him still; the way Sanji’s eyes light up at the sight of spices Zoro can’t even differentiate; the way he would pretend to drop some of his groceries around starving homeless men, head turned away as if he couldn’t see the men picking the food up in gratitude; the way he’d watch mothers hand-in-hand with their children with a certain kind of longing, and he’d smile then, a little curled up around the edges smile that makes Zoro’s heart trip inside his chest.

It’s becoming a problem, Zoro realizes, when he starts doing it in the battlefield.

He knows Sanji can take care of himself, knows first hand what it’s like to face those deathly kicks. And yet Zoro’s throat closes up when he sees one of the marines pointing his gun at Sanji; he freezes, in the middle of all the limbs and gunshots and swung blades, and he has half the mind to turn and catch up to the Cook —

The marine pulls the trigger and Sanji avoids the shot easily. Of course he does. Zoro may have been ahead on the brute force department but Sanji has always been quicker, and bullets have ceased to be a problem for them even long before they learned to use haki. It’s not like Zoro can afford getting too distracted against the opponents he’s up against, either.

So it’s stupid, really.

Sanji smiles, toothy grin stretched across his face and Zoro feels something unfurl within his ribcage. Like sunrise, warming all over.

It’s stupid.

And Zoro is stupidly in love.

He finds Usopp at his workshop, tinkering on a long rod that looks a lot like Nami’s weapon. He drags one of the benches and sits across the work table, placing his swords at the corner of the table.

“I think,” he begins, because there’s no other way to segue into this. “I want to be with the Cook.”

Usopp’s hand slips and twists his wrench a little too hard at that, and the rod makes a loud bang noise as Usopp snaps his head at Zoro. “What?”

Zoro doesn’t say anything.

“I think I might’ve misheard,” Usopp babbles, dropping the wrench and the rod on the table unceremoniously. “You know, with all the noise and the tools and the, uh, the waves — you were saying something about, who was it again, Sanji?”

“I want to be with the Cook,” Zoro repeats.

“Oh,” Usopp says, twirling his fingers in a nervous gesture. “You’re saying you, uh —” he pauses and wrings his hands, clearly trying to pick his words, before settling with, “you like Sanji.”

Like. Right. As if it were that simple. “No, I’m in love with the Cook,” Zoro says.

“Holy shit,” Usopp blurts, before immediately covering his mouth with his hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like that,” he says through the hands, “I mean, that’s wonderful, Zoro.”

“No, actually, it sucks.”

“Oh. Okay.”

The room goes quiet again. Zoro is beginning to think that he’s making a mistake.

Zoro contemplates leaving the room and pretends none of this ever happened, but then Usopp huffs, a soft chuckle slipping through his lips. “No, yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry,” he says in between chuckles, “falling in love sucks, doesn’t it?”

It brought a smile to Zoro's face — the kind that hurts all the way down to his chest. He shrugs.

“So what are you gonna do?” Usopp asks, propping his head on his hands as he leans forward, curious. “Are you planning to tell him?”

“Have you ever told her?” Zoro fires back. “That girl back in your hometown — Kaya, wasn’t it? Did she ever know?”

“God, no,” Usopp immediately says with a shake of his head. “But I was never a brave man, Zoro, I’m kind of — working on that.”

Working on that. Zoro likes the way that sounds. As if there’s a direction he’s actually heading towards, a goal he has to meet. As if he doesn’t perpetually feel like wading through quicksand, heady and breathless and sinking .

“Right. Me too,” he agrees.

Usopp smiles at him, almost wistfully. “You need some help on that?”

He wonders about that too. He has never been the sharing type, especially when it comes to the matter of the heart, but then again, this isn’t exactly something he’s ever had much experience with. “No,” he decides. “I just, I don’t know. I think I just needed someone to know.”

“Okay,” Usopp says, and picks up his wrench again. They stay like that, silent except for the sound of clashing metals from Usopp’s tools, until Sanji calls them up for dinner.

Zoro likes to think of himself as a brave man. Not in the way most low-time pirates would brag to strangers in a corner of a shady bar, but in that quiet acceptance of his, a part of himself he has understood for a long time, the way he faces dangers and towering monsters and knows: he is not afraid.

But sometimes he thinks of Sanji’s face twisting, sneering, of Sanji turning away, avoiding him, hating him — not the petty fights or throwaway arguments but truly hating him — and he thinks, no, he is not a brave man.

Sanji is sitting across the table at the bar, humming to himself as he downs his second glass of alcohol. He’d soon start babbling about pretty women and complicated dishes, the lightweight that he is, but right now, buzzed by the alcohol but not quite drunk, bathed by the dim lighting of the room, the Cook looks almost ethereal.

If Zoro were braver, he would touch those wet lips. If he were braver, he would run the tips of his fingers down the side of Sanji’s face, rest his palms on Sanji’s cheeks, and maybe — just maybe, if he were braver — press their lips together.

I love you, he would say, if he were braver.

“You’re such a dumbass,” he blurts instead.

“What the hell, Marimo — I hate you too,” Sanji says, almost on instinct. It’s a throwaway comment, doesn’t mean anything, but it still hits where it hurts, right in the very center of his chest. The sky is pitch black and the wooden floor is creaking under his feet; the cold night wind feels like it blows right through him, like there’s a massive hole in his abdomen, and Zoro drinks.

His throat burns, all the way down to his stomach. Like fire. Like coal.

(Like heartbreak.)

They fight.

They always fight, like clockwork. Sometimes it’s good-natured, almost performative, blades and limbs swung like a dance only the two of them share; but other times — this time, Zoro can’t help thinking — it’s vicious and real, because they get under each other’s skin at the drop of a hat, and there’s a murderous glint on Sanji’s eyes that’s rarely there. Not entirely hateful, never crossing a certain line — they’re nakama, after all — but not entirely unreal either.

“I’m going to kill you,” Sanji growls, and Zoro thinks, you will . Zoro didn’t set himself up for love, but it’s the kind of things you only realize until you’ve stumbled into when it has happened: Zoro has somehow extracted his heart, worn it on his sleeves, laid it out there for everyone to see, and it is now beating, painfully, like it knows that it is fully in Sanji’s mercy; that Sanji can wrap his hands around it, fingers curving around the veins, and presses just so —

“As if you can,” he snaps, but he knows Sanji can; ten times over, hundred times over.

Nami finds him where he always goes, when they’re docked at an island — a corner of a dingy bar, strangers sitting two tables away as they steal wary glances at the man with one eye and three swords.

“This is pathetic, even for you,” Nami says as she takes the stool beside him.

“Shut up,” he says around a mouthful of tankard, downing the alcohol inside. He definitely needs it, now that Nami is here. “Shut up.”

“Eloquent, as always,” she says sarcastically, and orders her own tankard. She finishes it in one go, faster than he did, before adding, “you know you can’t keep doing this, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, feigning nonchalance, even when Nami is clearly not buying a single thing he’s selling.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re pulling this shit with me — you know what I’m talking about. This whole — ” she makes a gesture with her hand, “thing you have with Sanji-kun.”

“I don’t have a thing with the Cook,” he retorts, instinctively balking at the word. Thing. As if it was ever that simple. As if this bone-crushing weight around his heart could be summed up into a word as short and scant as that: thing. “He hates my guts and annoys the hell out of me. Simple as that.”

“You love him,” Nami says, bluntly. “And it’s hurting you.”

“It’s my problem,” he retorts, doesn’t even bother to deny it. Not to Nami. “I’ll take care of it myself.”

“Because you’re clearly doing such a good job by yourself,” she huffs. “Sulking at some nasty bar, drinking away your savings —”

“Like you’re one to say,” he fires back, “did you ever say anything to Vivi, in the end? You had all the time in the world, when we sailed together; and yet you didn’t say a single word.” He slams his tankard against the table, watches the alcohol spill over the rim. “Takes a coward to know another.”

He sees her face crumple at the mention of Vivi, and immediately feels bad. She looks away, her jaw constricting, throat bobbing, and for a second Zoro thought she would cry.

“Did it ever cross your mind,” she says after a moment, “that maybe I just don’t want you to make the same mistake that I did?”

He thinks of all the times he caught her alone, staring at the distant sea, her mind elsewhere, among the eternal sand. She looked a lot like porcelain, fragile and breakable; she looked unlike anything he had ever seen her be.

“That mistake — you can still fix it,” he blurts out, desperate to atone. “You still write to her sometimes, don’t you? It’s not too late. You can tell her, through those letters —”

“And what good would that do to us, Zoro?” She rests her chin on her hand, eyes cast downwards. “She’s miles away with a nation to lead, and we’re just...we may not even come back from this, you know? I couldn’t put that on her. Not when she has so much to live for. But you,” she suddenly looks up, gaze boring into his eye, “you and Sanji-kun are still here. It’s not too late for you two.”

It’s not the same, Zoro wants to argue, not when Vivi is clearly enamored with Nami as much as she does with her, while Sanji is a man who loves everyone but Zoro. Sanji has so much love to give, spilling over the edges of that bleeding heart of his, but not for Zoro; Sanji tolerates him, on a good day, and Zoro scowls at the thought of bad days.

But he thinks of Sanji, after a good fight, broken bones and open wounds and Sanji would lean slightly against Zoro in that way of his, the kind he does whenever he doesn’t want to admit that he needs help. Their shoulders would press against each other, hands brushing, and what comes out is, “All right, I’ll try.”

Nami blinks, looking as surprised as he feels.

“I’m not doing this for you,” he quickly says before she gets the wrong idea. “Just make sure you throw out a rope after he kicks me overboard.”

She smiles, in a broken kind of way, and Zoro wonders if this whole love thing is ever worth it.

They always fight.

But sometimes, they don’t.

Shared amused glances when Usopp and Luffy pull off some lively antics; backs pressed against each other’s as the enemies close in on them. Quiet moments in the crow’s nest when the rest of the crew has gone to sleep, cold nights and warm alcohol, insecurities laid bare in ways they couldn’t do with other people in the crew, who have different roles and different burdens to carry.

Zoro would help Sanji with the dishes after dinner — standing shoulder-to-shoulder, dirty plates and soap-soaked hands, elbows navigating around each other with ease born from familiarity. They would talk about their day, then, their usual animosity forgotten, soft words and softer laughter.

They get involved in a skirmish with the local bandits who stole a bunch of pears from the market and Sanji kicks a guy hard in the stomach, launching him towards the bandit Zoro has been fighting. Both bandits scream and barrel towards each other before falling unceremoniously on the ground.

“You could say,” Sanji quips as he moves on to fight another guy, “they make quite a pear.”

It’s not a good joke. It’s fucking dumb, in fact, but Zoro laughs, laughs like he’s never laughed before, like it’s the funniest thing on Earth. He thinks he must’ve sounded stupid, but Sanji huffs at him, eyes crinkling, lips tilted up in amusement, and Zoro suddenly thinks he’s not so stupid after all.

Sanji is clearly in a good mood. He makes a gesture with his hand, hand curved around an invisible glass, and tips it towards his mouth. “You wanna grab something afterwards?”

Two men writhe under the sole of his shoes, bloodied and battered. Sanji takes a drag out of his cigarette, unperturbed, his suits still neatly buttoned up to his neck. He looks feral and unkempt and put together at the same time, and he is everything Zoro has ever wanted.

“Sure,” Zoro says, and he thinks, I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Do you ever wonder?” Zoro asks as he drags the Cook out of the tavern, and Sanji snores, completely drunk, half of his body slung over Zoro’s shoulders. His face is beet red and smushed against the back of Zoro’s shoulder blade, and there’s something about the contact that sparks up something underneath Zoro’s skin that fizzes and trembles. “You know I hate this kind of shit — thinking about what ifs and all — but fuck, Cook. Sometimes — sometimes we’re good and you’re awful but you’re also the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He inhales, his chest shuddering against the cold air. “I can’t help — it’s pointless and impossible and stupid but sometimes I wonder if we could ever — if we could ever be —”

Sanji snores on, dead to the world.

Zoro exhales.

Sometimes, they don’t fight.

That’s the hardest part.

It’s a cloudy afternoon, and Zoro can feel the salty breeze picking up when he catches sight of Robin and Chopper in front of a bookstore.

Bookstores have never been his thing, all things considered — he visits taverns and swordsmiths and the island’s marketplace when Sanji is in the mood to drag him around, but Robin and Chopper are the ones who go to bookstores and libraries whenever they’re docked. So it is unsurprising, then, when he simply nods at them in acknowledgement before walking past.

It is surprising when Robin reaches out and touches him, lightly, on the elbow.

“Chopper will take some time with the books,” she says. “Do you mind accompanying me for a drink in that café?”

It is how Zoro finds himself in his current situation, sipping terrible alcohol from his colorful drink that’s more sugar than alcohol because it’s the only thing the café offered. Robin is smiling enigmatically from across the table, and Zoro is hit once again with the absurdity of his situation. Sure, he cares about each of his crewmates, would lay down his life for any of them in a heartbeat, but getting overpriced alcohol at a café with Robin ? Not exactly an everyday occurrence.

Robin takes her time, enjoying her drinks as she watches the crowd. Zoro has seen these tactics, knows that she’s trying to make him lower his guard, but Robin is not an enemy. So he does, eventually; he lets the tension in his shoulders bleed out, leaning back into the chair.

Robin waits until the grip on his glass visibly relaxes, and he’s in the middle of taking a sip when she says, “why do you hide your feelings?”

Zoro chokes on his drink.

Robin only smiles in amusement as he’s hitting his chest from all the coughing — Zoro’s pretty sure she did this on purpose. Witches, all of them. “It’s none of your business.”

“Your heart is heavy,” Robin replies. “Any weight on a ship is the business of her crew.”

Zoro pauses. It irks him, the mere implication that he’s dragging the crew back, but he thinks of the night outside of the tavern, his breath visible in the cold air as he asks the unconscious cook, what if? What if? What if? — and in that moment he knows Robin is right.

Doesn’t mean it’s an easy question to answer. “I dunno,” he shrugs, struggling to find the right words. “Sometimes I think about him, and the thing here,” he presses a hand to his chest, “it’s — bursting, like something is about to spill. But then I see him and his stupid face and it’s all —” his hand moves up, hovering over his neck, “ stuck, here. It just — freezes.”

Robin listens patiently, her chin resting on the back of her clasped hands. A moment passes before she asks, “do you think Sanji isn’t worth the trouble?”

Zoro balks. “Of course he is! He deserves —“ A lot of things. More than I have. Everything. Not me. He settles with, “it’s not about the Cook. It’s about this — love thing.”

Robin hums noncommittally. “You and I, I think, are very similar,” she observes. “We have a lot of things we keep close to ourselves, secrets we’ll carry to the grave. But when I am with Franky, every part of me tells me that this one —” she reaches across the table and covers his palm with hers, pressing them both against his chest. Against his heart. “This one, at least — it is one worth sharing.”

Zoro yanks his hand from her grasp and looks away, almost — ashamed. For being so — vulnerable, in a way. So easy to read. His body bruises and heals, stronger by the day — but his heart breaks so easily still.

“You don’t understand,” he shakes his head, “you and Franky, it’s different. Your heart has always been something he wanted to carry.”

Robin tilts her head. “Do you think Sanji would disrespect your feelings?”

The Cook would do a lot of things, he wants to say, but that isn’t quite right. Sanji is rough and sharp, bristles under Zoro’s touch, but the word disrespect have never crossed his mind even once, when it comes to the Cook. Sanji, who refuses to fight with blades and yet still treats Zoro’s katanas with reverence; Sanji, who quickly understood what a scar on Zoro’s back meant, and guarded it with his entire being. Sanji, who — cares, always tries to, always does.

“No,” he answers, surely, steadily. “He won’t.”

Robin smiles at that. “Then let me ask you this question again. Why do you hide your feelings?”

And just like that, all his excuses — gone. Like pebbles in a river, worn away to sand. His heart is still heavy, but it’s the kind of weight that’s accompanied with resolve. “I had a promise with Nami,” he says, almost in a daze. “It’s about time that I go through with that, huh.”

Robin doesn’t ask questions. “You do that,” she says, and that’s that.

Zoro doesn’t do things in halves. Not with his dream, not with his nakama, and never, especially, with Sanji, who wouldn’t expect any less from him.

Zoro doesn’t do things in halves, so he takes a blade to the chest and tells Sanji he loves him.

(Zoro might have skipped a few details.)

On second thoughts, maybe details are unnecessary. He told Sanji that he loved him. That’s the point of this whole thing. The other stuff is just... embellishments, at best; irrelevant, at worst.

The embellishments are these: the air, gunpowder and smoke, bullets flying by overhead. The marines, three galleons big this time, cornering the Sunny against a cliffside before it could leave the island. The Straw Hats, their hands full with a few dozen marine officers each, completely separated from one another.

The embellishments are these: a Vice Admiral whose name Zoro can’t even remember anymore, his blade thin but long, a particular kind Zoro recognized as a naginata. A battle, messier than their usual matchups, him and Sanji against at least six of the Vice Admiral’s underlings. Sanji, distracted — they’d heard Usopp’s pained scream only a few moments ago, and Sanji turned his head then, eyes searching the battlefield for the voice, back facing the Vice Admiral.

The embellishments are simply those — embellishments.

Those aren’t the point.

The point is this: he took a hit meant for Sanji. Something cut deep against his chest, and then inside his chest, and before he knew it Sanji was kneeling over him, screaming his name hoarse. He liked the way his name sounded, coming out of Sanji’s lips. The Cook should say it more often. Maybe he should say Sanji’s name more often, first. Like a challenge, because that’s what it always comes down to, when it comes to them.

The point is this: they were both sweaty and disheveled in the middle of an enemy’s ship and Sanji looked absolutely fucking awful, but Zoro loved him anyway. There was dirt under his nails and someone else’s blood smeared across the bridge of his nose, and Zoro loved him still — in spite of, because of — so much that he can feel the sharp ache of desire against his heart.

The point is this:

“I’m in love with you,” Zoro told him. Blood-soaked, dirt-crusted — but the truth, nonetheless.

(This, at least —)

And then he passed out.

It is, admittedly, sort of disappointing to see Luffy instead of Sanji when he comes to.

Luffy takes one look at Zoro and immediately cuts to the chase. He tells him, “you need to talk to Sanji.”

No good morning, no are you okay, but then again, Luffy always knows when to trust his nakama with their own battles. Zoro can handle a naginata to the chest just fine on his own. The thing with Sanji — not so much.

He shrugs. “I did.”

“No, dummy,” Luffy replies with a pout, like Zoro’s the biggest dumbass he’s ever met. “You told him words and then you passed out. That’s not talking.”

“I talked to him before that,” he answers, aware he’s being petty but unable to stop himself.

“I mean talk to Sanji,” Luffy insists. He scrunches his nose, wearing the expression he does whenever he’s thinking too hard. “You talk to everyone on the ship but not Sanji and that’s stupid.”

How did you know about that, Zoro wants to say, but of course Luffy does. Luffy is more observant than he appears to be, especially when it matters, and this matters, to Zoro.

“Listen,” he begins, and holy fuck, he thought talking to Robin was weird, but this? This takes the cake by a long mile. “I’m not exactly familiar with this whole — love — thing, okay? This isn’t some enemy I can just cut down. I asked the others, who — they know this stuff, okay, because Usopp has Kaya and Nami has Vivi, and you know about Robin and Franky and I just had to —” he buries his face in his hand. He thinks of Sanji, rough words and soft touches, Zoro’s heart in the palms of his hands, and he blurts out, “I can’t fuck this up, okay? I had to know how to do this right.”

There’s silence, and for a moment Zoro thought Luffy would understand his perspective, but when he looks up from his hand, Luffy is still pouting. “Well, that’s just stupid.”

He grits his teeth, raising from the infirmary bed. “Stop saying that —”

“I won’t, because Zoro won’t listen!” Luffy stands up, looming above Zoro. “It’s stupid, because you tried to talk to everyone about everyone else but Kaya and Vivi and Franky are not Sanji.”

Zoro stills.

“I mean, you said all these things about Franky and Robin, and — okay, Franky knows Robin best because sometimes Robin would make this mystery face and Franky would just know what she’s thinking, but no one on this ship knows Sanji like you know him,” Luffy goes on, jabbing his finger at Zoro’s chest. “Sanji’s the one who’s going to carry this.”

He thinks of Nami, of Usopp. Their shoulders, weighed by unspoken words. “I’ve seen how it could drag me down,” he confesses, in hushed tones. He thinks of the cafe across the bookstore, Robin’s hand against his chest. “Robin told me this one’s especially heavy.”

Luffy grins. “That’s for Sanji to decide. Sanji’s pretty strong you know?” He throws his hands excitedly over his head. “Sanji’s as strong as a thousand men!”

“I’m as strong as two thousand men,” he replies, out of instinct, and Luffy watches him with a small smile.

“Talk to Sanji, Zoro,” he says, after a moment. “I think Sanji wants to talk to you too.”

Zoro settles back into the bed. He thinks of Sanji — fire and ice, thunderstorm and still water; the bloodthirsty hellhound who has stood beside Zoro, shoulder to shoulder, bruised and rough and strong , and the gentle caregiver who makes sure everyone on the ship is fed. Zoro loves Sanji in all his contradictions, and if there’s anyone he could trust with his heart, it’s —

“Okay,” he tells Luffy. He means it this time.

When Zoro comes to again, there’s a plate of soup at his bedside. It smells so fucking good and it hits him, suddenly, that he’s hungry; he sits up straight and reaches for it before he could even take in his surroundings, digging into it in record speed. He can feel his joints ache from the movements, but the pain is distant now. Muted.

“You’re welcome,” Sanji says from the other side of the bed.

Zoro almost jumps from the bed — he doesn’t get surprised easily, but Sanji has always been his exceptions.

When he turns to face the Cook, Sanji is smiling nervously at him, almost hesitant. Sanji looks younger like this, stripped off of all his pretense and bravado, and Zoro wants to kiss him so badly. “Cook,” he says instead.

Sanji’s breath hitches at that, his gaze falling onto his lap. “Marimo,” he replies, but the insult doesn’t have the same edge it usually does.

Zoro’s eye instinctively follows Sanji’s line of sight, and he is surprised to find his swords on Sanji’s lap. Sanji must have kept them safe when Zoro was unconscious, and he feels something warm in his throat at the thought.

Sanji seems to notice Zoro’s gaze, because he shies further into the chair, face flushed. His hands curl around Wado’s hilt, and Zoro lets him — can’t even bring himself to mind it. There are many things, he realizes, he would let Sanji do. It scares him.

He’s not a brave person, but —

“I love you,” Zoro blurts out, words spilling over, unbidden.

Sanji looks up, startled. “What?”

“I love you,” he repeats. It’s weird, how it seemed like an insurmountable task to say the words out loud when they feel like the only words he could say to Sanji now. “I just — I need you to just, know that.”

He expects Sanji to do a lot of things, then. Like a kick on the head, if he’s lucky, or an awkward joke about Zoro getting hit on the head. If fate is being particularly cruel, Sanji would look at him in disgust before storming out of the infirmary. He knows Sanji would never do that — would never treat any of his nakama that way — but Zoro’s chest tightens painfully at the thought anyway, almost irrationally.

He doesn’t expect Sanji to lean forward and press a kiss against his lips.

“Eugh, gross,” Sanji says as he pulls away, much quicker than Zoro would’ve liked, “that was so wet , gross. Why didn’t you swallow your soup, what the fuck.”

Soup. Yeah, He can feel some of it spilling out of his lips, and he absentmindedly wipes it with his hand, fumbling with the bowl of soup in his lap as he sputters, “shit, sorry, I wasn’t —”

When he looks up, Sanji is grinning at him, blinding and all-encompassing. He puts Zoro’s swords aside and reaches out, drawing Zoro close, his eyes soft and fond and happy, happier than Zoro has ever seen him be.

“You dumbass,” Sanji says, the undercurrent of a laugh in his tone. “I love you too.”

Oh , Zoro thinks for a second, and then Sanji is kissing him again, and Zoro forgets how to form a thought at all.

For a long moment, all Zoro knows is this — Sanji’s tongue in his mouth, Sanij’s fingers around his wrist, Sanji’s smile against his. His heart is pounding beneath his ribcage, threatening to burst, and when Sanji finally pulls away he can’t help leaning forward, chasing his lips.

Sanji chuckles at the gesture, amused, and rests his forehead against Zoro’s. Sanji is still grinning, cheeks flushed, and Zoro loves him, viscerally, painfully, so hard he can’t breathe around the shape of it.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He finds himself asking as soon as he finds his breathing.

Sanji’s face turns a shade darker at the question. “I don’t know,” he mutters after a moment. “We don’t exactly talk about our feelings.”

Zoro feels like punching himself in the face. It seems like talking about his feelings is all he does these days, practically half the crew being the receiving end of his sentimental drivels, but Luffy was right — the talking doesn’t count if he doesn’t talk about it with Sanji.

Well. That is all in the past, he supposes. Zoro never finds the point in regretting his past decisions; the only thing he can do is to be better, so he takes Sanji’s hand in his and tells him what he’s always wanted to tell the Cook, “you’re stupid.”

He gets a raise of an eyebrow at that. “Excuse me?”

“You’re stupid,” Zoro repeats, and kisses Sanji again, at the corner of his mouth. He thinks he can get used to this whole kissing thing. “You and your stupid face and your stupid cigarette and your stupid suit,” he’s laughing now, warm and thrilled. “You’re stupid, and I love you.”

“Thank fuck for that, then,” Sanji laughs, and smiles — against his lips, against his heart — and it’s stupid, but Zoro is smiling back too.

Sanji turns out to be a cuddler, Zoro quickly learns as he wakes up with the Cook somehow having nestled himself into Zoro’s arms, head tucked comfortably against Zoro’s shoulder.

His first instinct is to withdraw himself — and he almost does, pushing himself up on the bed with his free hand — but Sanji presses his face into Zoro’s shoulder at the movement, his grip on Zoro’s hip strong and firm, and Zoro finds himself lowering back down into the bed. He can only see the top of Sanji’s head in this angle, but there’s just something — adorable in the way Sanji is curled up against him with bed-mussed hair, and Zoro is just a man, okay,

There’s a moment of peaceful silence before he hears Sanji sleepily mumble, “where are you going?”

Zoro wants to shrug, but his right arm is dead and he doesn’t exactly want to jostle a sleepy Sanji more than he already has, so he settles with a chaste kiss against the Cook’s temple. “Dunno,” he answers truthfully. “I just thought — I was practically lying on top of you for the whole night. My hand and half of my body and all — must’ve been uncomfortable.”

Sanji watches him for a moment with sleepy, half-lidded eyes, before curling up into Zoro.

“You know,” Sanji huffs, eyes crinkling, and smiles. “It’s not as heavy as you think.”

Zoro’s breath catches in his throat. It’s a multitude of things at once: the clearing of fog at dawn, a flood, a thunderclap. Sanji has dozed back off to sleep, but Zoro still can’t fucking breathe, not when Sanji’s entire being is pressed against him like they’ve never been apart — chest to chest, feet tangling with one another's. Something ended. Something started.

(This, at least — )

Zoro’s in love. And it’s not as terrible as everyone makes it to be.

#opfanfic #zosan #roronoa zoro #sanji #one piece #namivivi #frobin

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madartiste · 5 years

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Deadly Fortune, Book 1, Chapters 1-5

So I started reading the only English translation I could find of the DMC4 “Deadly Fortune” novels to mine them for good character info. I have no idea if anyone else will be interested, but I’ll post the notes I’m taking here. Mostly this is just a retelling of the game, but there are scenes that aren’t shown and some interesting context/internal monologue things to be found. I skipped the first chapter because it was just Dante and Trish being cryptic, and I didn’t notice anything interesting. I’ll post more as I work my way through the novels.

The chapters are referred to as “stages.” Stuff in bold are things I found particularly interesting. Everything is under the cut because I’m a wordy fool and I didn’t want to drown anyone’s dashboard.

EDIT: Forgot the friggin link to where I found the translation: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html

Stage 02 (Pregame)

Kyrie visits Nero (he doesn't live with her). She sometimes brings little gifts to the knights in the barracks.

Nero doesn't know if his arm is poisoned or possessed

Kyrie is one year older, treats Nero like a kid when something bad happens

Kyrie hasn't sung in front of a big crowd before (though she has sung in church)

Attendance at the Festival of the Blade isn't mandatory, so Nero finds an excuse not to go every year -- except this one since Kyrie asks him if he's going and she's performing

Nero's arm was injured one month prior to the game. The demons were in the 'forests of the suburbs.' (Later he says it's Mitis forest, though when he describes getting to the scene he doesn't actually go that far?) Only three knights were sent because the ones that show up near the city are usually weak, but this time there were a lot of them. Nero isn't considered a 'team player,' and he thinks that he is about as far from being a hero as you can get, so he isn't given tasks like that.

Nero is given tasks that require him to work alone and thinks that even the order has secrets he wants to keep. His job is to deal with humans who've been possessed by demons that the Order thinks can't be saved. He is expected to kill them without a trace (OMG!). Basically, the Order doesn't want the people to lose faith in them if a devout follower is possessed by a demon. The people are told that Sparda will protect them, and if they knew the truth it would look bad for the Order. Nero says he isn't happy about killing people, but if no one else will do it, he will, since it's very difficult to save someone who's possessed. So Nero is basically a hit man jeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Another reason Nero is shunned is that he likes using guns. Being the 'Order of the Sword,' they place a huge emphasis on swords. Nero doesn't care about that -- if it kills demons, why not use it? -- and since there are no gunsmiths, he built Blue Rose himself. (He talks a lot about the gun a lot and why he chose a revolver too. Kid knows his guns, though he says he's not a 'serious gun expert.')

The 'dean of the Orphanage' where Nero was raised is an old lady named Sister Xista. (Nero comments that he knows she loves the orphans she works with.)

Kyrie was out in the forest with the orphans on an outing. Ah! She had come back from Mitis forest and was in the city when they got attacked by (30!) scarecrows. Nero runs along the rooftops to get there (and is really casual about it like a normal person could just vault up there and run).

The three knights are Josh (who dies -- poor Josh), Sagan, and Tonio (who seems to be in charge? He's also old fashioned, uncomfortable around Nero, and also 'obsessed with honor.').

Apparently Red Queen is so suped up that if Nero uses it too close to people he could accidentally burn them.

Nero likes that Kyrie is the type of person who would protect other people at the risk of herself but also kinda hates it since she could get hurt.

There's a very interesting passage where Nero thinks about how many of the knights want to become famous and are very into the legend of Sparda, but Nero feels they should be focusing more on the 'good heart of his struggle to protect humanity' part of the story. He also feels they should be less mad at him for jumping into the fight and stealing their thunder and instead comfort Kyrie and the children who were nearly killed.

An Assault pops in through a 'magic array' right behind Kyrie as she's trying to tend to Josh's wound. This is where the "Kyrie, run!" memory from when Nero blacks out in Agnus' lab comes in. Josh tries to defend her, but gets slashed up. His blood actually spatters on Kyrie's face, who is too stunned to react. Nero revvs Red Queen all the way up and jumps at the demon, can't block an attack which is how his arm gets hurt. He burns out the Exceed system so he can't really protect himself. Sagan and Tonio jump in to help while Josh gets Kyrie and the kids away. The demon chases them and injures a kid named Kelly and kills Josh. Nero finally takes it out with his gun.

One of the kids is named Gili.

The Order tries to hide the incident, but since a bunch of kids were involved, it's a bit hard. Josh was an orphan (like Nero), and all of the other adults were forbidden from talking about it. The whole thing seems to piss Nero of since Josh died and Kyrie was injured. He decides to try to get stronger, and apparently Sagan and Tonio have the same idea since they start training a lot.

Nero refers to a building called the 'Sword House' which used to be the Order's HQ until the 'new Faculty HQ' was built. Credo's office is still in the Sword House, and Nero tries to avoid making too much noise on the creaky stairs. Hahaha! Credo asks Nero "How are you so slow?" Credo's got a new mission for Nero -- Nero refers to it as 'dirty work.'.

There's an 'Investigation Bureau' for the Order.

Credo wants the mission dealt with quietly since today is a festival day. He DOES very seriously ask if Nero is okay to fight. Which Nero sarcastically replies "Will someone else do it if I say no?"

Red Queen is out at the 'technical bureau' for repairs because it has a lot of special parts. Credo gives Nero one of the Caliburn swords (the Durandal is the officers' sword type). He also tells Nero not to use his gun because it'll make noise and draw attention. Nero notices that Credo is out of sorts. He's apparently pretty upset about Nero being injured, Josh being killed, and all of it being covered up.

There's some guy named Kars (or Karls? The translation keeps changing his name) who Nero asked to buy that cute necklace for Kyrie. Nero is nice and apologetic for keeping the guy waiting, which throws Kars off a bit.

The Devil Bringer hurts as well as glows when there's a demon around.

Nero beats up a bunch of Scarecrows and heads back to go listen to Kyrie sing. That's literally the only reason he's going since he doesn't actually have to be there at the ceremony.

Okay, so Fortuna Castle is where Sparda supposedly lived when he was lord. It's used as an Art Gallery these days, and citizens are free to come and go as they like. The 'technical bureau' room (the underground lab) isn't known to most people, though, and their purpose is to build weapons to fight demons.

Agnus loves research, teaching, and Sanctus apparently. He also talks to Yamato. It doesn't talk back, but he's mainly complaining to it about not being able to fix the damn thing. He found Yamato a year ago on the outskirts of Fortuna. Even though the sword is only mentioned a few times in ancient books, Angus recognized it right away. In the translation Devil Arms are referred to as Magic Swords -- which might be how the Order thinks of them? In any case, they lost track of Sparda's swords after he left 2000 years ago.

Apparently you can repair Devil Arms. Some repair themselves overtime, other kinds can be fixed if you have the right type of material. Yamato is neither of those. Agnus thinks if Yamato was made from a Devil, then this makes sense -- BUT if that was the case it should've lost all its power when it was broken. Instead, Yamato still has lots of power. He calls the sword 'unpleasant' after yelling at it. Heh.

Gloria shows up with a guy named Greg. Agnus hates Gloria and is apparently a misogynist. As if we need another reason to dislike him. He doesn't trust her and also thinks it's distasteful for women to flaunt their stuff as a 'weapon.' Also Gloria clearly likes harassing him because he's such an uptight jerk.

The Order has never accepted 'foreigners' into its ranks before (hence some of Agnus' distrust). There's a line about the church paying attention to 'the birthplace and family' of its members -- which is interesting. I wonder if that's part of the reason some of the knights are weird about Nero? Because no one knows who his family is…

Gloria told them she was a treasure hunter and that's how she found the Devil Sword Sparda. Agnus thinks the sword is basically a holy relic since it was Sparda's actual sword. She caused quite a stir when she showed up and asked to speak to Sanctus (the knight who met her thought she was his mistress!).

Gloria also brought along the Devil Arms that were used to power the smaller Hell Gates (lol, Trish just swiped all of Dante's stuff!). The real Hell Gate can only be opened with a complete Yamato.

Stage 03 (Start of the game)

Nero bought his headphones from Kars.

Nero thinks the preaching is bullshit. It was Kyrie and Credo and their parents that showed him love and warmth, not some 'sinless' god. He thinks it's weird that their parents were so kind to him, and that it was probably because he has 'silver' hair like Sparda is said to have. There's an interesting line: "I don't have parents, so in their hearts I might be someone who has a relationship with Sparda."

He feels they were good people, if blind and naive, and seems angry they were killed by demons. It happened before he was a knight, and he doesn't know the circumstances. There's a reference to them investigating the ruins in Mitis Forest when they were killed? But that's why he doesn't believe in Sparda -- because why would god let good people like that die at the hands of demons? He also says that he could understand if it was someone like him (!) but not people who were devout, kind believers.

Very Vergil line from Nero: "So, I don't believe in God, I only believe in power."

He also decided to stick around to protect Kyrie, presumably because no god was going to do it.

The necklace Nero bought for Kyrie isn't very expensive. He wanted to thank her for taking care of him and congratulate her on getting to be the soloist at the ceremony.

"The Buddhism of the Pope on the stage continues." That line cracked me up. I assume it just means that Sanctus kept going with his sermon.

Dante shoots Sanctus, everyone panics. Nero doesn't worry about Kyrie dropping her gift since he can just buy her another one if she wants.

Nero's surprised by how fast Dante wrecks the knights since they're trained to fight demons. He mentions that 'many demons have human forms.' He didn't even stop to think before drop kicking Dante. He just wanted to save Kyrie.

When they end up on top of the statue of Sparda, Nero realizes that Dante is way stronger than he is even though Nero is far stronger than a normal person.

There's some surprise from Nero when Dante doesn't care that Credo and Kyrie escape, and he wonders if the 'murderer' has some kind of conscience after all. But he also doesn't care. Dante is clearly amused by this whole thing.

Nero's got an 'auto-loader' for Blue Rose because he has to load two types of ammo.

Nero doesn't use his right arm at first because he doesn't know when reinforcements will show up and doesn't want to have to explain it to them.

Dante doesn't seem to know what to make of Nero's arm at first? He asks if there is 'titanium inside.' Which is weird. Not sure if that's a translation thing or not.

Nero's right hand might actually be stronger than Dante. When Dante goes to staff him and Nero catches Rebellion, Dante can't quite pull away (though there's no indication of how hard he was trying).

Dante says "You too?" when Nero goes to throw the statue's sword at him, and Nero is confused. Dante also says "No, you don't have the smell of garbage," which I assume means he can tell that Nero isn't one of the artificial demons like the other knights.

Ooof. Nero thinks that he's killed humans possessed by demons but he's never killed a living person before. He can't really tell what Dante is, but he's gonna kill him. There's a weird line about how 'some fierce part of my heart awakened' and that he 'must kill this man, just like he is my old enemy.'

Nero isn't thinking clearly when he nails Dante to the statue and is a bit freaked out by his own reaction.

Nero's reaction to Dante surviving being impaled: 'This is a very outrageous guy.' Hah!

There's more made out of Dante saying that he and Nero are the same in the book. Dante out says "I am not human, are you not the same?" and Nero replies "I am… human," but he hides his arm and is shaken up by the question.

Dante still yeets out through the ceiling, but he calls Nero "little devil" when he leaves. It's kinda cute.

Nero's never met a demon that can understand human language. Evidently it's mainly the powerful ones who can. He worries that he might be a demon after all. The reinforcements show up before he can go check out the dead Order knights to confirm that they're not human. He wonders if he just imagined it, but knows that asking questions won't get him anything.

Switch to Dante POV. Sparda told his boys stories when they were little, though it seems like he left when they were still too young to really grasp everything or to think it was weird that their father was a demon. A lot of the stories of Sparda are considered just fairy tales and legends, so it's hard to piece together what he was really up to for those 2000 years before he met Eva.

The wording is strange, but Dante seems to realize that Vergil likely came to Fortuna to investigate legends of Sparda. After thinking it over, he laughs off the thought that Nero could be Vergil's kid.

Trish is 'very concerned about punctuality' and Dante has to go to the castle to meet her.

Back to Nero: He wants to go back to the dormitory and rest (what a mood), but Credo wants him to chase down Dante. Nero actually thinks he's not sure he can do it.

There's someone named Claude who's Durandl Nero was using? It just references "Claude's Durandl' being a very good sword.

Fortuna is surrounded by a solid wall, and there is only one exit by land. It's in the opposite direction of the Opera House and… the Fortuna duna? (Maybe the docks?) The Order keeps an eye on the ships in the port, though, so Dante can't escape that way.

Awww, he thinks the necklace suits Kyrie.

Demons attack the courtyard outside of the Opera house. Demons in Fortuna aren't rare, but having so many is. Also Nero has never seen them in the center of the city before in his 'few years as a knight.' Nero wonders if Dante is responsible. The plan is to take the citizens to HQ to keep them safe. (I get the feeling that the layout of the island is not so spread out as it is in the game. Either that or headquarters is actually a mistranslation.)

Nero mentally gushes about how great Kyrie is, that she'd even protect someone who treated her poorly. The boy is totally smitten. More very Vergil type thoughts: 'compassion without power can't change anything.' He decides he will be strong so that Kyrie's compassion isn't wasted. (Awww).

Nero deliberately breaks the archway to keep the demons from getting to the people. He ends up having to take the long way to get to HQ because the road is blocked

Stage 04 (Sanctus' resurrection and Berial)

'The room on the uppermost corner of the Magic Swords Corps' is Sanctus' bedroom. I'm assuming this is in the HQ building since this scene analogous to the one in the game where Sanctus is resurrected in the 'Ascension Chamber.'

Hahaha! Sanctus refers to Dante as an "awful guy." Okay, he apparently knew that Dante might come after him, but didn't expect him to drop into the middle of a big ceremony. He's also annoyed that he was killed in front of all the believers.

Agnus and Credo clearly don't like each other. Credo deliberately says some things to piss him off and Agnus absolutely takes the bait.

There's some strange wording, but my interpretation is: Credo partly sent Nero after Dante to make the kid look good. He knows that Nero isn't respected by the Order, but Credo thinks Nero is very strong. There's a comment about the Ascension Ceremony -- which Credo is convinced Nero could survive despite the low success rate (it says only 10 people survived, but that doesn't seem right). Evidently Credo wants to help Nero get in everyone's good graces to prepare him for the ceremony (Credo! Wut r u doin'?!)

Also Credo doesn't think there's any point in reasoning with Agnus. He really doesn't like him. Sanctus has to be the adult. He has some good skills in that, having to get all the different personalities in the Order to work with each other.

Agnus is a giant Sanctus fanboy. He's also easily excitable, which both Sanctus and Credo comment on.

Back to Nero: Lots o' demons in the city. He's very confused. Certain places are easier to open a Hell Gate than others. The translation is confusing here, saying it's easy to open a 'cave' in the area around 'Fodu.' I'm assuming that it means you can open portals to the Underworld easily on Fortuna?

Nero is pretty sure Rebellion is a powerful Devil Arm since he felt something in his Devil Bringer when he touched it.

Fortuna Castle was built up in the mountain because the people of Fortuna didn't want to destroy the environment. They do a lot to try to preserve the state of the island as close to how it was when Sparda was there. Nero thinks Sparda wouldn't care if they made their lives more convenient by modernizing things. (Pretty sure he's right.)

They refer to the big Hell Gate in the city as 'the monument.' Nero is surprised to find one in the Ferrum Hills.

Nero can tell how strong a demon is by how much his Devil Bringer hurts.

Hahaha! He thinks that Berial's sword is 'a little pitiful.' There's actually a nice illustration of Nero facing down Berial.

Nero seems convinced that Dante is a demon when he hears Berial also speak in a human language. There's a weird phrase: 'a lovely type of chat in the demonic race.' I'm not sure what that means.

Nero doesn't like heat. He's also annoyed (?) that Berial just ignored him because he's a human. He also calls Berial old. Also, oh snap, he quickly realizes that Berial is no threat to him, though at first he's a little worried. Nero thinks Berial is weaksauce compared to fighting with Dante. Berial also calls Nero "little devil."

Berial is surprised by Blue Rose. He's never seen a gun before. Nero's ticked that Berial has stronger fire than Red Queen.

Nero has been avoiding thinking about his arm too much, but fighting Berial makes him realize that his power is definitely like a demon's. Berial demands to know if Nero is human or not, and Nero's response is basically "I'm a special case." After Nero beats him up, Berial says he's sure that Nero is a devil, though Nero now denies it.

Berial gives him a weird look and says "Neither a demon nor a human being… that's it. You are like him." And then yeets into the Hell Gate because he knows he can't beat Nero without a refresh.

Nero apparently tries to destroy the Hell Gate but can't. He decides to move on, and wonders if the 'him' Berial was talking about is the man in red -- Dante.

Stage 05 (Fortuna Castle and Bael)

Dante POV: He's running around the castle to find Trish. She didn't tell him where to meet, only when. He wonders if Sparda really lived in such a place because there are only normal human things lying around and not Devil Arms.

He pops by the library and grabs a book off the shelf (Nero in the game comments on Dante having been there), but can't read the language. He feels like someone is watching him and calls them out. It's Trish who didn't want to startle him because she looks different. Dante feels the library suits Trish because 'she has a strong desire for knowledge.' (Interesting.) She doesn't actually show her Gloria disguise to him here.

Trish tells him where Yamato is. Dante wants it back because it's a memento of both his father and brother. There's a nice illustration of Dante and Trish.

They decide to deal with the Order before grabbing the sword since it's broken and they can't use it. Dante decides to poke around the castle a bit more, though Trish correctly guesses he's looking for anything that might have belonged to his dad.

Back to Nero: It seems like Nero hasn't been up to Lamina Peak (It's also called the Holy Mountain) before. He thinks the snow might be normal, but isn't sure. Tourists are rare, but the Castle is a big draw.

So the complicated route to get to the castle might have been to make it hard for enemies to get there in the Middle Ages. But he says the bridge is 2000 years old in the next sentence, so… Not really the Middle Ages.

Nero is actually pleased the bridge gets broken because it gives him a shortcut he wouldn't have thought of otherwise. Fights the Frosts, thinks they can't be the cause of the snow because they're not that kind of demon.

Nero is sure Gloria isn't from Fortuna, and he definitely notices the saucy clothing. Fortuna ladies don't dress like that. He mainly wants to know who she is. He has no idea why his Devil Bringer is still hurting after the demons are defeated, and wonders if that means the woman is a demon.

He hides his Devil Bringer from her -- which is why he doesn't shake her hand. She knows who he is, which means she's a knight, so he assumes that his arm is reacting to other demons nearby.

Gloria lists his nicknames: "'The bad bird to get along with', the arrogant atheist''

He's not surprised.

Ah, he turns away when she puts the knife away because he's being a bit polite and kinda doesn't want to get flashed.

Oh, he HAS been to the Castle, but he can't remember when. It was at least 3 years ago, before he was a knight. He doesn't like the place because of the 'damp air.'

He thinks maybe Dante came here to steal art (hah!).

Nero can't completely read the book Dante was looking at either. He knows enough to pick out that it's about demons, though, and he thinks that it might help him understand what Dante is after.

He's never seen the Bianco Angelos before, and figures it has to be a new weapon of the Order. Nero seems to think the guy in the armor is just a jerk messing with him.

Nero isn't even slightly tempted by Bael's sexy ladies -- the translation uses the word 'goblins' for them. Like Dante says in the game, Bael smells pretty bad. Also Nero can barely understand what Bael is saying, his human is so garbled. Bael also calls Nero "little devil" when he dies.

Link to the next part of the notes: https://madartiste.tumblr.com/post/186824600040/deadly-fortune-book-1-chapters-6-11

#devil may cry #dmc4 #deadly fortune #My notes

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eastofthemoon · 7 years

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Where No One Goes- Chapter 5

Title: Where No One Goes: Chapter 5 - Part 2 of What If The Storm Ends?

Series: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Characters: Keith, Thace, Shiro, Pidge, Lance, Hunk, Coran, and Allura

Rating: G

Summary: After Keith’s encounter Thace, questions remain and he’s not certain he wants the answers to them. However, after Pidge’s request to locate the rebels, the two of them seek out the resistance with both of them not certain what they will find out.

Archive of our Own

It had taken a few hours, but Pidge and Vector managed to update their cloaking system so it would be harder for the Galra to detect. Granted, there was a chance the Galra had already figured out their location, but Pidge wanted at least offer some comfort that it would be harder for them to be found once they left for another base.

Pidge had been introduced to what Vector explained was their technical team who were all women. Three Galran women named Silca, Bespeer, Jilka and a bird like woman covered in bright coloured feathers named Tina and they welcomed Pidge with opened arms.

They seemed rather intrigued with how Pidge had managed to track them and quite impressed as she assisted them to update their systems.

Silca finished fixing the last few wires before she removed her goggles. “There, that’s as much as we can do right now without new spare parts.”

Pidge examined one of the rods that looked like it could be older than the Castle of Lions. “How old is this thing?”

Bespeer, an older Galran woman chuckled. “Depends on how you humans track time,” she replied. “But I know it was before my son was born.”

Tina hovered a bit like a hummingbird as she finished typing. “We do need new parts though,” she said grimly as the feathers on her cheeks fluttered. “But granted, we knew that even before you came.”

Pidge frowned. “Where do you guys normally get parts?”

“Junk yards, broken down ships, sometimes one of the intel teams manages to pick up something for us, but it’s not often,” Jilka explained.

“With us keeping a low profile, getting new parts isn’t easy to come by,” Vector replied.

Pidge grasped her chin as she went through a mental checklist of what she and Hunk kept at the castle. “We might have something for you guys at the castle, but that castle isn’t here.”

“Nothing we can do about it now,” Silca said as she reattached the part. “All is left to do is the boring part for fine tuning, so you don’t have to stay for that.”

Pidge felt the eagerness that she had been trying to ignore nag at her again.

“If that’s the case, there’s something I want to do,” she said as she looked to Vector. “I thought maybe you guys might know what happened to my family. They were captured by the Galra last year.”

The cheery atmosphere was sucked out and all five women held sympathic expressions. Vector’s eyes also softened. “You will have to ask Leah’s permission for that,” she said with a soft growl as she headed out of the chamber. “Come with me.”

Pidge steadied herself as she picked up her bag and followed. Leah hadn’t been far. They found her in the main chamber talking with Daien who was looking over a tablet with her.

“Ford wants to know if we need to salvage the old transport ship,” Pidge heard Daien say as they approached. “It’s not that big and can only hold one person.”

“It’s one person more that can be flown out of here,” Leah said. “So, if Ford is able to repair it do it, but if it’s truly a lost cause I rather he focus on the other ships.”

Her ears twitched as she spotted Vector and turned to them. “How did it go?”

“The Green Paladin is a smart one,” Vector said with a grin. “She managed to fix mistakes we didn’t even know we had.”

Pidge couldn’t resist giving a proud smirk at the compliment.

Leah smiled and looked to Pidge as Daien stared in awe. “That is excellent to hear, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Pidge replied and tried to not sound anxious as she spoke. “There’s something I want to ask of you.”

Leah frowned and Daien blinked curiously. “Oh? What is it?” she asked.

“My father and brother were captured by the empire a year ago,” Pidge explained. “Their names were Sam and Matt Holt, I was hoping you might have information on where I could find them.”

Leah’s face was unreadable, but Daien’s eyes widened slightly. “Holt?” he asked.

“That’s right,” Pidge said with a nod. “I know it’s a lot to ask with everything else you have to deal with but-”

“Follow me,” Leah said gently as she lead the way. “I’ll take you to the archives.”

Pidge’s heart leapt and didn’t waste a moment to catch up on her. She glanced back and saw Vector was already leaving, but Daien was still watching her with the surprise expression.

Probably nothing, Pidge thought as she followed. That guy looks like everything makes him nervous...Hunk would like him.

Leah weaved around the crowd of rebels effortlessly as Pidge struggled to try to avoid hitting anyone. They ventured into a narrow tunnel and they ended up in a small chamber.

There were cabinets and tablets scattered all around, but at the far back sat a large computer. It didn’t seem like it was made out of Galran technology. Judging by the shape, and wires sticking out, it almost seemed to be a fusion of various alien technology Pidge wasn’t familiar with.

Leah went over, touched the screen and typed on the keyboard. “I’m typing in my password for you,” she said as she turned to look back at her. “This computer contains all the files we managed to steal from the empire. However, I’m not certain it will be much use if you can’t read Galran.”

“That’s okay, I’m getting use to translating,” Pidge said as she sat in the chair and fetched out her laptop from her bag. “Thanks, I appreciate-”

Leach touched Pidge’s shoulder and gave an expression that reminded Pidge of her mother when she had bad news.

“I will warn you,” she said, “you’re not the first to ask us to locate family who the empire has taken.”

She took back her hand and tucked it behind her back. “Very few have been successful and those who have..” Leah held a grim frown. “They are hardly the same person before they were captured.”

Pidge swallowed as she thought about how much Shiro had to deal with while held by the Galra, and he was ‘the Champion’, a favorite slave among them.

“I understand,” Pidge said in a determined tone, “but I got to try.”

Leah nodded and turned to leave. “If you need anything, just ask. We’ll try to help.”

Pidge gave a nod as Leah left. She then cracked her knuckles before hooking her laptop up with the main computer. “Okay, Big Guy,” she told it, “let’s see what you can tell me.”

Her fingers began to fly on her keyboard and Pidge tried to toss aside the fear of what she was going to find.

0808080808080808080808080808080808080

Elsewhere, Keith peered inside the crate and mentally counted. “We got twenty more of those..laser guns with the twisted end,” he said aloud and looked behind him.

“They’re called proton blasters,” Thace said as he wrote on his tablet, “but noted.”

Keith put the lid back on the crate as he gazed around the armory. It wasn’t huge, but it was filled to the brim with spears, swords, some blasters and other alien weaponry he wasn’t familiar with.

“Where did you get all of this stuff,” Keith asked as he picked up a blue sword with a hooked blade.

“Here and there,” Thace said as finished placing some swords into a crate. “We use to buy from suppliers, but when Zarkon almost wiped us out, we tried to be more discrete on how we acquired them.”

He raised his head. “Also, careful with that Yeakon sword. That thing can cut a finger off clean and you wouldn’t feel it.”

Keith paused as he eyed the sword and gingerly set it back on the shop. “When Zarkon tried to destroy you guys, you said that was before I was born?”

And how do you know when I was born? Keith thought.

“Yes,” Thace said quietly and didn’t turn his head. “It was a devastating attack. We lost a lot of lives that day. Leah lost her father, the previous leader of the resistance, and I was lucky to escape with all my limbs attached.”

He went to open up another crate. “After that, it was decided to split up the resistance in smaller cells so if Zarkon destroyed one of them the others could still pick up the fight.”

Keith narrowed his eyes as he drew closer. “So, how long have you been with them?”

Thace turned and seemed lost in thought like he had forgotten. “Since I was about your age, if I’m not mistaken.”

Keith blinked. “That’s rather young to join a rebellion.”

“This coming from a paladin of Voltron who’s just a child himself,” Thace commented dryly.

“I’m not a child,” Keith growled.

“No, no, of course not,” Thace muttered with a wave of a hand as he finished counting the contents. “Truthfully, I hadn’t originally planned on joining. I was just a cadet and accidently stumbled upon them.” He had a thoughtful smirk. “Wasn’t long after that I decided to join them.”

Keith raised a skeptical eyebrow. “How do you stumble upon a rebellion?”

Thace gave a deep tired sigh. “That’s a long story,” he grumbled. “I will say it’s largely due to a ‘friend’ not realizing he was trying to flirt with the daughter of the rebel leader.”

Keith stare with a blank look. “You’re joking...No, you’re not are you.”

And wait, daughter? Keith thought. Does he mean his friend tried to flirt with Leah?

“I wish I was,” Thace said in a dark tone.

Keith folded his arms. Huh, so he was about my age? And why does this friend of his bring Lance to mind? ...I wonder how much Thace and I do have in common.

“We’re almost done in here,” Thace said as he checked over his tablet.

Keith opened and shut his mouth as he followed. “Sure,” he said and cleared his throat. “Then maybe you can tell me more about your dagger there.”

Thace paused and didn’t look back. “There’s...nothing interesting about my dagger.”

Keith’s face hardened. “Really? Because I have-”

“Those weapons aren’t going to count themselves,” Thace said as he marched forward. “Let’s go.”

Keith gave a pout, but did as he was told. I’m going to get an answer from you one way or another, he thought.

080808080808080808080808080808080

Pidge could feel her eyesight starting to blur and took a moment to rub them before she returned to look at the screen. She had found multiple possible locations where slave labor camps were located (and made plans for Voltron to free the slaves from them later), but none of them gave any indication of where her father and brother were kept.

“There’s got to be a clue somewhere,” she muttered.

“Um..excuse me.”

Pidge paused, bringing her thoughts back to the real world and glanced behind her.

Daien stood there with a clay cup of something in his hands. “I..thought you might be thirsty so I brought you some water.”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Pidge said and pointed to the cabinet next to her. “Just leave it here and I’ll get it later.”

Daien gave a shaky nod and placed it where Pidge pointed. She assumed he would leave then, but Daien remained where he was.

“Sorry about the net and Maya attacking you, and Keith,” he stammered.

“It’s okay,” Pidge said without taking her eyes off the screen.

Please don’t tell me he wants to make small talk, Pidge thought. On a regular day, such a thing wouldn’t bother her, but she was in no mood for it when she was so close to finding a lead.

“Maya’s a lot nicer than she seems,” Daien continued. “She just doesn’t like to show it.”

“Good to know,” Pidge said, curtly.

“Um..she also has all of these tunnels memorized,” Daien continued. “So she could-”

Pidge slumped as she sighed deeply before cutting Daien off. She had no patience for this.

“Do you need something?” Pidge asked, in her ‘don’t mess with me’ tone. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m pretty busy right now.”

Daien fidgeted under her gaze, but then shocked Pidge as he took a seat next to her. “Earlier..you said your name was ‘Pidge’, right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Pidge said, slowly. Did the guy have an issue with her name?

“Well, you also said you were looking for your father, Sam Holt. So, I wondered...maybe,” he raised his head at her. “You’re..name...isn’t also Katie Holt is it?”

Pidge’s fingers ceased her rapid typing. She found her thoughts frozen as she gradually turned to the young Galran who was squirming quite a bit.

“How. Do. You. Know. That. Name?” she asked as her body tensed.

“Um...well, he told me,” Daien replied.

“WHO told you?” Pidge asked as she desperately tried to keep calm.

“Your father,” Daien stammered as he raised his head to look at her. “He told me.”

Pidge sprang from her chair and grappled onto Daien’s shoulders. “You saw my dad? How? Where is he? Is he okay?!”

“I-I don’t know!” Daien exclaimed.

“How do you not know?!” Pidge snapped as she shook him.

“I haven’t seen him since I was told to shoot him!”

Pidge paled. “What?!”

Daien’s eyes widened and he slapped his forehead. “Wait, no! That’s not what I meant. Arrg, I’m not explaining this right!”

Pidge panted and forced herself to take a deep breath. Be logical, be logical she told herself as she reluctantly let go of Daien. Causing him to panic wouldn’t help either of them.

“Sorry,” she said as she raised her head. “Start at the beginning.”

Daien relaxed slightly and scratched at his ears. “Where do I even start?” he muttered and shut his eyes. “It’s a long story.”

“I got time,” Pidge said and glared to indicate if he dare tried to move she was going to pin him.

Daien fidgeted as he sighed. “Alright, okay,” he began as he folded his hands into his lap. “See, I was appointed as a guard for a work camp. My job entailed keeping the slaves under control and ‘discipline’ them if they didn’t obey.”

He gave a wince. “I never had the stomach to hurt people, my family always considered me weak for it. Only got the job there because my father was the one running the place. He thought it would ‘toughen me up’ as he put it.”

Pidge had a thought where he was going with this, but she kept quiet and encouraged him to continue.

“I hated it,” Daien said as his fingers dug into his pants. “Chaining the slaves, being forced to starve them and whip them when it was clear they were in no shape to work. I couldn’t stand it. So, when I was on guard duty for the prison cells, I tried to sneak them some medical supplies and extra food.”

He frowned and his ears lowered slightly like a cat. “It wasn’t a lot, but I had to do something.”

Pidge folded her arms. “And how did the prisoners there take it?”

“They all believed it was some kind of trick, not that I blame them,” Daien admitted. “I was about to give up trying, but then one of them decided to take a chance and trust me. He was an older man, and an alien species I’ve never seen before.”

He raised his head and held a serious glint in his eyes. “His name was Sam Holt.”

“My dad,” Pidge said with a soft gasp.

“Yeah, after him the other slaves began to trust me too and take the stuff I was offering.” Daien gave a bittersweet smile. “I liked Sam. I found he was a lot easier to talk to than my own father. We got to discussing about a lot of different things, culture, space travel, stuff like that and he mentioned you quite a few times.”

Pidge swallowed. “He did.”

“He said you were a smart girl, and that he was so proud of you.” He paused. “He mostly said that he missed you and your mom a lot.”

Pidge’s throat tightened. I’ve missed him a lot too.

“I tried to locate your brother for him,” Daien continued and grimaced, “but I didn’t know his slave number and didn’t have any luck. It wasn’t long after that my father found out what I had been doing.”

Pidge froze and was almost scared to ask. “What did he do?”

“Gave me an order,” Daien said with a growl. “Said that he was tired of seeing me be weak and my loyalty to Zarkon had to be tested.” He raised his head and took in a gulp of air. “I had to shoot Sam and the other slaves that trusted me, or I would be branded as a traitor and executed.”

Pidge’s whole body was shaking now. “D..Did you kill them?”

“No,” Daien spat. “I refused, but made my father believe I was going to, which bought me enough time to try to break Sam and the others out of the camp.”

Pidge’s mouth opened slightly. “You helped him escape? Wait, why aren’t you with them?” Was it because her father was killed during the breakout?

“The other guards caught on quick,” Daien continued as his hands shook. “I never been so scared in my life, but I told Sam and the others to run while I tried to hold them off.”

Pidge’s nose wrinkled. “Dad left you?” That didn’t sound like her dad at all. He wouldn’t abandoned someone like that without a second thought.

“He didn’t want to,” Daien retorted. “He would have stayed with me if one of the other slaves hadn’t dragged him away towards the ship.”

He rubbed his neck. “Not surprisingly, I couldn’t hold the guards off for long and I would have been killed if Maya hadn’t jumped in and saved me.”

“Maya?” Pidge asked. What did she had to do with all of this?

“She was there gathering information and saw what I was doing,” Daien said with a shrug. “Thought I would be a good recruit for the rebellion and that’s how I ended up here.”

“What about my dad and the other slaves?” Pidge said nervously, not certain if she wanted the answer.

“They got to a transport ship and left the camp,” Daien replied, as he held up his hands. “That’s as far as I know, I swear. I haven’t been able to locate him since.”

Pidge was silent as her mind processed what she heard. Dad’s alive! Dad’s alive!

She felt tears form and tried to wipe them away, but more came. She tried to cover her mouth to keep from sobbing in relief.

Daien shifted uncomfortably and then rose. “I..can tell you need to be alone,” he said. “Sorry if I upsetted you, but I knew I had to tell you.” He turned to leave, but Pidge seized his hand to stop him.

Daien jerked slightly and stared in shock. Pidge raised her head and cleared her throat.

“Thank you, for freeing my dad,” she whispered. “That was a brave thing to do.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Daien said with a shake of the head and refused to look at her. “It was the right thing to do, but you’re welcome.”

Pidge would have argued differently, but gave a nod as she let him go. Pidge watched him leave and leaned back in her chair. Tears leaked from her eyes, but she didn’t care as she smiled. Her father was alive and she was going to find him.

#voltron: legendary defender #galra keith #thace #keith kogane #fanfic

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