We got to the Onsen episode! My fiance liked it a lot. I also have some rambling thoughts. Continuing my (sorta consistent but not really) ramblings after I rewatch episodes.

Okay one, I did like Serizawa on the first watch (but was more indifferent tbh) but this time around, with all the serirei that I have osmosised through just being here on tumblr, ya know. I get it now guys. I get it.

Look at that face.

He be cute.

Also I forgot how much I love Shigeo's outfit, it's so cute! His fuzzy earmuffs are the best. I need to draw this. And as of editing this draft I have!!

(and I love how dorky Ritsu is, the outfits in this episode were such great little additions to their characters. I really liked Reigen's too! This is where we first see the trench coat!)

Second, my terumob senses were tingling through this whole thing. Teru asking Mob whether he has a crush is still comes out of nowhere even though I was expecting it. Like even if this ship didn't give me happy feels, Teru is clearly trying to make Mob uncomfortable. Mehaps it is....a bit...

Flirty?

and his laugh my god Teru you're as subtle as a spotlight.

And the scene where they all are in the hot springs was...unusually...tense? Haha Like I don't remember that and now I'm like "Oh......OH"

I know the joke and tension was supposed to be “Does Teru have a wig anymore?" but I was just over here giggling about other things. Having a great time. Mobs face here. Just me kicking up my feet in happiness over these awkward dorks.

Also Reigen losing his mind *chef kiss* always a delight. Tried to find a gif from the episode and I am not finding one I like.

Anyway, byeeee we start season 3 next and I think my heart is going to explode.

teru mikami analysis bc i love him

hi i'm just here to rant about how much i love teru mikami's character because he's genuinely such a well written character. this is probably gonna be unorganized and just rambly. i might rewrite it later but for now i just need another reason to procrastinate and focus on my silly emos.

(oh yeah also spoilers if that isn't obvious)

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mikami is probably one of the best representations of religious trauma (at least imo and from what i've seen). i haven't read the manga yet and a lot of this might just be me projecting, but either way he's still the top in my books. there's SO many scenes and details about him that remind me so much of myself when i was still heavily involved with christianity (and to be clear, this is my own interpretation, not me tryna shit on any religions. that's a big wompwomp no-no. respect ppl hoes). so here's some random bits about mikami that make me go "OH SHIT ME-CORE ALERT!!!!":

the entire thing with his mom. i know that when he reflects back on his mom's death, he talks about how he's happy the whole thing happened because "she's evil and god killed the evil for me thanks god" but i completely believe the whole thing is just him brainwashing himself. like think about it for a second. his mom just died in the same car crash that involved his main tormentors, and this was also right after he was holding a slight grudge against his mom for defending said tormentors (she obviously didn't do that. she was just trying to help mikami view the world from a more realistic point of view to keep him out of trouble, but when you're that young and that passionate about justice, to him it'll seem like she's defending the same evil he's trying to fight). when you combine these things together, this is just gonna lead to a WHOLE lot of conflicted and lost feelings, and we see that in mikami. he had just been through a rough conversation with his mom, and she died before he could even get a chance to really think about said convo. all he is left with is a mixed feeling of loss, resentment, and fear. however, on the other hand, her death meant that the tormentors she was defending had also died. so to him, it has to mean something, doesn't it? the group of bastards that had been ruining his and others' lives and had finally been rid of. and if this had happened right after his mother had been defending them, it has to be a sign, right? there has to be a reason for all this hurt, right? when mikami is viewing the world through these lenses, it makes sense that'd he'd suddenly want a reason to justify his mom's death, even though it feels unbelievably cruel. so he finds a reason, and he finds that reasoning through god. this is honestly something that i used to do a lot when i was still heavily invested in my church, and i'm sure there are others who have been in the same situation. when the world is unjustifiably cruel, people will make up justification for it. it's a fear tactic that many people fall prey to in religious environments, and if not treated, it can fester into much more toxic environments for the people around them.

^^^ tldr: mikami copes with his mom's death by telling himself "it's okay that my mom died!! she was working for satan and god had to kill her!! thanks god!!" and if that's not the most religious-trauma-core shit out there then idk what is.

ALSO LITERALLY JUST EVERYTHING WITH LIGHT'S DEATH???? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT SHIT HURT MAN. the realization that your god is not the god you thought you had been following used to be some of the scariest shit out there to me and mikami had it thrown right at his face when light died. not only was his god gone, but his god was never a god to begin with. he was just some guy. some pathetic guy who was now bleeding out and screaming on the ground. he had dedicated his life to this thing, and it was never real to begin with. and so he dies with it. because when the god revolving your life is gone, what other life do you really have? mikami was the perfect fucking example of that and i need it to be talked about more fucking please guys he's literally just like me fr i swear.

that's all i can think of right now tbh. if there's any typos in here no there isn't you're wrong nuhuh. anyways i fucking love mikami's character. he might be an antisocial autistic boyloser edgelord but he's MY antisocial autistic boyloser edgelord and i will defend him with my life. that hoe did EVERY wrong thing but your honor he is just a silly guy.

listen idk how to tell you this, and please do not take the tone of this ask to be aggressive, but you have got to start questioning yourself a little more. why are all your least favorite characters the most visibly mentally ill? why are you comfortable saying a character will need several years of therapy before they are able to have friendships? i know youre going to reply to this saying like, oh, i hc other characters as mentally ill, or oh, i'm mentally ill myself - i can't possibly be ableist! and then all your followers will be like yeah ur fine we love you, but im begging you. its okay to dislike characters, but its such an obvious pattern that the ones who have visible, uncomfortable mental health problems that make them unpleasant are, mysteriously, the ones you have the least sympathy for. i do not care whether you consider yourself ableist, whether you headcanon more pleasant characters as mentally ill, whether youre mentally ill yourself - you are posting ableist things. someone doesnt need to be cured or fixed before they should be allowed to have meaningful relationships

Okay, I've read this message over a few times and have it under consideration (? I think that's the phrase).

I do think you got some information wrong, I could be mistaken but after looking through my own posts I think you might've misread something. What I *have* said (before I watched the OVA) is that I dont think Hajime and Nagito should specifically date *each other* until they get therapy / work through their problems (although I do think that, thematically, they make sense as eventual love interests). Again, hadn't watched the OVA, so I was basing it on their interactions in game only, the OVA sort of changes directions from how the game left off.

Never said anything about anyone not having meaningful relationships until they get therapy, and have actually said that a good social net (meaningful relationships, friendly or romantic) are integral to healing from traumatic events. Not saying I haven't given off a bad impression maybe or implied something, if so do tell me because it was probably not intentional and might've slipped by me, but I'm speaking from a factual search of my blog. Not something I have ever said, as far as I can see, and not something I believe anyhow.

I actually mention pretty frequently that I think Nagito (I assume this is mostly about him) is an interesting character that I like, but find complex. My least favourite characters are Hiyoko, Mahiru and Teru (sorry fans of those! I dont mean anything by it it's literally just the vibes) that's why I don't really draw them. The OVA endeared Nagito to me, which is why I've been drawing him on a friendship journey lately, so if you're assuming I don't like him that's more incorrect now than ever.

By all means if you wanna talk about this more openly in chat, I'm down (though my timezone tends to clash). I feel you've put some words in my mouth.

Okay no but I'm actually devolving into Shimateru like one of those water soluble pills that turns into a small foam dinosaur. Like I wasn't sure at first but now I get it, I am insane about it—

Because aside from the astronomical sexual tension between them for each of their fights, Shimazaki is the ONLY other person that Hanazawa has lost to aside from Mob. And given that Hanazawa has seemingly been running from Claw for so long, I don't think it's wrong to say that he's likely up there with Shou in power level—so either on par with or juuust below the Ultimate Five. Hanazawa probably wouldn't have lost to anyone else; the others in the Ultimate Five included, because Shimazaki seems to be the most ruthless and sadistic out of all of them.

But again!! Hanazawa is ALSO likely one of the only people that could beat Shimazaki!!! (We don't count Reigen because he has Sponge abilities so Shimazaki literally can't even see him, but other than that it's likely just Toichiro and Mob). And not even just because of power—it's like Hanazawa says; "Even I could defeat you." Meaning that he KNOWS his power level is below Shimazaki's—it's about the strategy. Both Hanazawa and Shimazaki wouldn't be nearly such intimidating fighters if they weren't incredibly smart to go along with it. Knowing where and when to move is half the fight (unless you're Mob apparently but that's okay bc we love him for being a literal supernova), and figuring out what strategies work on which opponent in real time is super impressive!

Which is why the idea of Shimateru has me so so so obsessed rn: it's about the ANTAGONISM 🤌 It's the idea of Shimazaki taking an interest in Teru earlier and being the one that hunts him down for Claw, but then backing off and letting him run because he's having too much fun fighting him. It's about the Cat and Mouse dynamics. It's about the Reformed™ Villain with lingering anger issues and violent impulses suddenly getting accosted and tempted by a Villain who has NOT reformed—likely the only one left who hasn't. It's about falling back into old habits because Shimazaki is the one person Hanazawa is "safe" doing so with. It's about the fact that Hanazawa could call Mob at any time to make Shimazaki go away, could end things whenever he wanted, but he doesn't. It's about the VIOLENCE and INTRIGUE 🤌🤌🤌✨

GOD I'm going feral, I'm going insane, I think they should've gotten more screentime together because they have such a fun dynamic. I think Shimazaki should've been chasing Hanazawa down for Claw, they should've been enemies for longer, that tension should've brewed like royal tea in a china pot for far longer it would've been SO GOOD 🙏🙏😩

The Times They Are a Changin' by Bandtrees and Hatsunoid is absolutely amazing

...And if you can handle the contents of it. No seriously. The fic is definitely dark and if you're sensitive to MEDICAL ABUSE, GORE, AND ABLEISM—Don't read it. It's especially centered around those and unless you close your eyes for all of it, you're not going to be able to handle it.

BUT!! It's so good, I would love to erase my memory just to experience reading it for the first time all over again. The disturbing parts aren't OOC (in my opinion at least) and it's very well-written, some optional out-of-site parts too.

A Laconic Summary: Mob loses control over his powers and causes permanent brain damage to Reigen and Ritsu. This fic explores the possible effects of that

Things of Note (as tags): Ambiguous Ending, Parasites (Specifically maggots and they're not TOO important, but they're there during a somewhat important moment)

Extremely long rambling (with spoilers) below the cut

This fic is so good, I created a sideblog for my AO3 to post about it. This fic is so good, that I had to stop what I was doing even though it is probably going to be detrimental to my grades. This fic is so good, that I was nearly about to rip my hair out from its roots

It's about 100k chapters long, separated into two parts. I'm easily bored and there's been plenty of times I've read a fic with maybe half the length, gotten bored, and thought of some parts as a slogfest even when it really wasn't—I just suck at getting through longfics. But reading through this, there was never a point where I thought that. Tensions were always high, rising even when I thought it wouldn't be able to, and I would end up near-screaming

And the way it shows how different characters feel? Gorgeous. Amazing. Love it.

Obviously, we have the normal book style descriptions from one character's POV, but then we have Teru's diary and Shou's little monologues(?), and it's all really cool??!?! Maybe that's what helped keep my attention. That and the little off-site links.

Speaking of those, I think I found all of them, but I'm not that observant so I could have easily missed some. And wow. Jesus christ. The last couple ones, the ones of Shou's gallery as his phone was getting wrecked, I was. just. In shock. I'm a very sentimental person who cares about photos and things, and I don't know how Shou didn't begin loudly crying right then and there because I would have

And god, so many times did I think 'Is this fic going to have untagged MCD?'. I was constantly at the edge of my seat expecting that someone would die. Reigen, Ritsu, Mob, Shou, Teru, Dimple (especially when he confronted Mob right as he was about to lobotomize Ritsu)... Basically all the main characters in the fic had moments where I was preparing to mourn

Mob really left for the deep end in this fic. I won't say that I fully get why he was so convinced that what he was doing was right, but it makes sense for him. He's not the type to let go easily, he's someone who draws strength from his bonds, and his aspect could be blood. And almost all his life, the message to never give up was basically struck into his head over and over. The one time I can recall where it wasn't? Claw, Seventh Division, where Reigen told him it's okay to run away. But I doubt that tilted the scale into being balanced in the slightest. There's so much more I could say about him in this fic. But I'll save it for now

Teru was... Teru. I understand him more than I did Mob, I think if I were in his situation, I would have maybe stopped at a certain point but we would be very similar in most of the actions we take. In the first chapter, I went 'haha silly!' at his entries. Seeing them as a little treat between the downers surrounding it. But then after he helped 'operate' (It doesn't feel right calling it that), I guess it really hit me. Then I started questioning if I would have done what he did. Then I realised I would have. Then I spiralled until I told myself this kind of situation will likely never happen to me and if it does, I'll get to it when I get to it

Serizawa is easily one of the ones you can feel for the most. Unlike Mob and Teru, he hadn't done anything to Reigen and Ritsu personally. And unlike Shou and Dimple, he didn't say harsh words. Perhaps you could blame him for not taking action sooner, but they all can be blamed for that.

Shou... Oh my god. Shou. At first, I was ready to fight Shou tooth and nail because really? That one comment on FriendBook wasn't necessary. I don't know how or why Mob didn't block him. But then as Mob spiralled further and further, I was hoping for him to make his way back into the narrative to save Reigen and Ritsu. Then he did. And he failed and he was injured and I thought he was going to die. Then he didn't. And it's implied he could have helped them. But could he have also made it worse? Who knows, that's why I put Ambiguous Ending as a thing of note.

DON'T FORGET THE OUT-OF-LINK STUFF!!! Mixed media fics that have off-site links are truly beautiful. My friend and I love that shit. Should she ever get into MP100, I'll recommend this fic to him with a shit-eating grin on my face. I hope the word count doesn't intimidate him erogdfkg... Every single bit of the off-site links I saw was just so cool. The art of Reigen made me feel strong unease, the real videos too, and that one animated video with Ritsu and Mob and Teru. Okay basically everything gave me a strong unease. But that's the point!!! And it was done well!!!!

This fic is pure talent, skill, and effort put into something that shouldn't just be preserved via a PDF file, but should be carved into stone for future archaeologists to discover. I wish I could hold even a fraction of power needed to create something this masterful

On a more less-serious note to finish this off: Mobway. Red Mobster. I was about to lose my shit. Every single time one of the companies showed up I was about to tear my hair out (in a funny way) because it felt like falling for a prank. I ESPECIALLY LOST MY SHIT AT PSYCHOLOGIST PEPPER BECAUSE IT TOOK ME SCROLLING DOWN BEFORE REALISING. Truly, the minds behind this were geniuses

Also, this might sound weird, but I got reminded of KomaedaLoveMail while reading this. The off-site links to websites for sure helped, but I guess I just associate talk of gore in written form in this way with KLM? Or maybe I haven't quite recovered from consuming that piece of media (Can you even call KLM that?) yet. This isn't bad by the way, I loved deepdiving into KLM even though my feeble brain couldn't comprehend shit.

And and one last note- Opening the song link in the end notes was like emotional whiplash. I had to sit there for a bit to process. Good music

This is a whole mess. Even for a ramble, it's a whole mess. I don't have words or sentences or even phrases for how I feel right now. I'm a mess

May I request a yandere Teru minamoto, and Tsukasa (separate of course) with a insomniac darling, who has no idea how they got involved with one of them, but assumes they don't remember it because they were so tired, maybe they even assume Tsukasa is a sleep deprivation hallucination.

Yandere! Minamoto Teru & Yugi Tsukasa

Darling with Insomnia

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere behavior, Manipulation, Deception, Exploitation of your weakness, Slight sadism, Possessive behavior.

Minamoto Teru

- Teru would be concerned about your behavior but would also be one to use it against you.

- Normally towards you, Teru comes off as extremely nice.

- He makes it clear to you that he adores you and claims to be your boyfriend.

- You don't remember this fact but you're too tired to fact check yourself.

- When you explain to him that what he said can't be true, Teru gives you a sweet smile and puts a hand to your cheek lovingly.

- "Oh you poor thing... too tired to remember we started dating? Don't worry, It'll all be okay! Let me help you get some rest."

- Teru's so charismatic that you find yourself somewhat believing him.

- You really haven't been getting sleep lately... maybe you did end up getting together with him?

- Who knows... all you can focus on is Teru escorting you to somewhere for rest.

- Those kind blue eyes and perfect smile can't lie to you, right?

- He's supposedly your boyfriend... he must only wish to love you?

- You're too out of it to notice his sinister, manipulative grin.

- His touch tightens with the excuse that you could fall down.

- You're so vulnerable...

- With just a little exploitation, you're finally his!

- Now it's time to keep up this lie for as long as he can.

- "When you're tired like that it's so cute.... You won't have to worry about anything as long as I'm here."

Yugi Tsukasa

- While Tsukasa may be childish, he is sadistic, manipulative, and controlling.

- He thinks it's hilarious when you mistake him as a hallucination in your sleep deprived state.

- Tsukasa is one to pester you when you're trying to sleep or do anything.

- In fact, he may cause sleep issues for you just to have an excuse to see your cute, tired face.

- He's also one to like attention and refuses to leave you alone.

- "Aww... wake up, sleepy head~ I still want to play!"

- Tsukasa would probably force your poor weak mind into thinking you two are friends or even something more.

- It scares you because he explains he isn't a hallucination, instead he's a spirit.

- You're trying to figure out how you managed to get a ghost so infatuated with you, meanwhile Tsukasa is relishing in the fact he's managed to trick you.

- Little by little, Tsukasa plans to trick you into falling for him

- You'll learn to rely on him, won't you?

- Even if there must be a little force~?

- "You're so cute! I think you'll learn to love me if I told you to, hm~?"

Hi! I was scrolling down your blog and saw someone asking for TeruKane in that phantom thieves au which is amazing btw! So hoping that this is ok that I am asking if you have thoughts or ideas on TeruKane living in that monster nursery from aidairo?

Of course it’s okay! I love to come up with ideas loosely based on Aidairo’s AUs :D

Teru’s design is what immediately caught my attention, for the first time, he is the monster, he doesn’t have to carry an honorable family name or a respectable position, he can be wilder. Just look at his face, he has his fangs out, and the look of someone that will do whatever he damn pleases.

Teru seem to be part dragon so he is powerful, he can breathe fire, which is an element most creatures fear, and he can fly, which makes him very agile. It’s a very good combo for emergencies, so I am assuming defense is his job: If a strong monster goes rogue Teru will humble them enough for the countermeasure department to get a hold of them, and in the worst-case scenario, Teru will kill the threat.

We have a picture of a small Teru with his caretakers, so I am sure he was born and raised in this nursery, it is his lair.

If there is anything a dragon is protective of, is it's home: He loves the nursery and he could tell his old caretakers, who have long died, also loved this nursery, so he became its biggest line of defense, going an extra mile to keep a close eye in it's security and it's inner workings.

Dragons are prideful and independent creatures, it is very hard to earn their trust. Since most workers are humans, who live less than Teru, it feels like the faces are always changing, so Teru rarely gets genuinely attached to anyone. He is smart enough to understand you need new workers to keep the place going but to most he feels like an ancient force out of their control, the only monster that won't take order from anyone. If you want Teru to listen, you need to convince him you're worth his time.

Akane is a relatively young man, he climbed the ranks quickly thanks to his hard work and skills, jumping into many areas from caretaker to researcher and eventually becoming the supervisor of the countermeasure department at 23, which is unheard off. Since Akane doesn't do anything halfway, he obviously wants to get to know his colleagues in the department to properly decide what work each person should be assigned to, which includes Teru.

Teru is the de facto leader of the department, already having his own rules, so it's hard to work with him at first. The dragon tend to intimidates people that want to change his rules with his cold eyes and very good and logical points, full of human intelligence and inhuman experience. But the more he argues with Akane, the more he likes the new addition.

He loves how Akane shows hints of fear when he flashes his fangs but still stands his ground and calls Teru out on his bullshit, usually losing when they argue but always coming back with more and more research to back up his claims, genuinely trying to understand Teru and able to admit when Teru's ideas are better. He have Teru’s respect, and even managed to change some of the rules in the department to better accommodate humans.

The signs Teru has grown to love Akane were small at first, maybe he'll leave Akane's favorite drink on his table when the man looked particularly tired, or smile a bit more softly than mischievously after tripping Akane with his tail, but no one thought much of it. Teru is hard to handle but he is a good monster after all: He gives Kou sweets and has tea parties with Sakura, who is way older than she looks, being patient with the nursery recruits, and only pranking those that are nervous in his presence sometimes.

Teru tried to pretend he isn't in love with Akane at first, humans die quickly, after all, it's foolish to get attached to them, and Teru is a monster of the highest caliber, he is not foolish. He never felt particularly protective of Akane either, considering him a capable human that can handle himself just fine, so it was easy to pretend he cares about Akane but he isn't in love.

That changed when a monster accident went wrong and Akane got hurt trying to stop it, his stomach was clawed. Teru lost it at the sight, for the first time since he was a hatchling he fully embraced his dragon instincts, dropping his proud posture to get on all fours, using his wings and body to protect Akane from all angles, his glare so murderous the rebel monster immediately shut down, wisely choosing to behave. (If it hasn't Teru would have killed it)

Teru tried to keep his composure when he saw Akane in the nursery again after two days being kept in the hospital, but everyone could tell he was delighted, positively smitten.

If Teru catches Akane's voice his ears will twitch, following the sound and betraying his priorities even if he is in the middle of an important conversation with the manager. His pupils dilate like a cat when Akane enters a room, and if Akane has his favorite food with him too, his wings will flap from all the excitment. If Akane shows a slight hint of being cold Teru will wrap him up in his arms and wings like a cocoon. 

What genuinely surprised Akane though, was when Teru fell asleep in his lap, having studied enough about monsters to know dragons are full of love and very protective but too prideful to ever be this vulnerable near someone. It was the first time Akane had paused his work before finishing it, refusing to move a muscle in fear of waking up Teru, it took five minutes for Akane to fully relax, continuing his paperwork while absently brushing Teru's hair.

Teru brushes his hair back when Akane has a headache, his sharp nails oddly relaxing when he is so careful. Usually, that's enough, but if Akane is feeling overwhelmed, Teru will guide him to his personal room (more of a nest) and cuddle up, keeping Akane's head near his chest and using his powerful and steady heartbeat to coach Akane's own to calm down.

If asked, Akane will say they aren't dating, cause they are professionals, but Teru will smile smugly and refuses to answer, everyone is 90% sure they have kissed at least once and just decided to never talk about it.

(Part 2)

Hello Scribe I would love more info on Protagonist Of Your Own Life and The Ill-Fated GF NaNo Fic Of 2016!

Protagonist Of Your Own Life

Okay SO! This is definitely the weirdest and most meta of my fic premises. Here is the necessary background information:

"You're the protagonist of your own life," is something that Reigen tells Mob early on in MP100. It's really important for him as he begins to consider his own wants and desires and become his own person instead of blending into the crowd. It's a lot. I have many emotions about it.

This fic is not about that.

This fic is about my disaster son Hanazawa Teruki. Teru is another psychic middle school kid who gets introduced as a counterpoint to Mob. He's awful and arrogant at first, but then he gets his entire worldview upended and spends the rest of the series following Mob around like a besotted puppy who loves violating the Geneva Convention. Also he's been fighting off superpowered kidnappers for years and he lives by himself because his parents abandoned him (probably due to the aforementioned superpowered kidnappers, but to my knowledge it's never really explained).

And. He's the only character who acts like he knows he's In A Story. When he's introduced he has a dramatic speech about how he's The Protagonist Of The World, and later he tells Mob that he thinks of him as his rival. So of course as someone who goes feral every time a character interacts with The Narrative, I am obsessed with him.

The concept of the fic is that it's a Teru character study tracking what he feels like his place in the story is, and how that relates to his character development and sense of worth! So the beginning is him deciding that all the messed up things in his life have meaning because he's the Main Character, and how he then twists that into the deeply lonely and deeply egotistical Protagonist Of The World persona we see him with when he's first introduced. And then he meets Mob, and realizes that he isn't the main character! Mob is! And so he switches to feeling like his life has meaning because of how he's connected to Mob, first as a side character and then as a "rival". Which like . . . allows him to undergo some pretty significant character development, but is still not a healthy way to look at the world. He has to come back around to the idea of being the protagonist of his own life, but between his fear of his past actions and his fear of losing his relationship with Mob, he doesn't think he can do it.

The only problem with this idea is that the stories that Teru is modeling himself around are shonen animes, which I have not actually seen any of, so there's a part of me that's afraid that if I actually want to write this fic I'll have to watch Naruto or something.

The Ill-Fated GF NaNo Fic of 2016

You know the backstory on this one! I had a story I was excited about, I had momentum, I was making great progress . . . and then the election happened. But it's a three-years-in-the-future big ensemble Gravity Falls project that I still think has a lot of cool ideas and that I'd really love to get back to! A snippet under the cut:

Wendy adjusted the hat so that the embroidered axe was right over her forehead, then slung an arm around Dipper’s shoulder. Even though he’d grown a full two and three-sixteenths of an inch in the past year, she was still over a head taller than him.

“So how’s it hanging?” she asked.

“You tell me. Hey, do you think it’s weird for me to be hanging around with a college girl?”

Wendy rolled her eyes and jokingly pushed him away. “Ugh, don’t say that yet! I’ve still got almost three months!”

“Wait . . . almost?”

Wendy’s face fell. “Yeah, man. School starts, like, mid-August.”

“You mean you won’t be here for our sixteenth birthday party?”

“Well.” Wendy shrugged. “I didn’t say that. Given all the sci-fi junk you and your uncle and Mr. McGucket get up to, I bet you could find a way to teleport me back. Or project me or something.”

Dipper’s heart sunk. They’d only just gotten there; a week or two out of the whole summer wasn’t that bad, but . . . the party was important. Having everyone there at the send-off was important. Would he have to be the one waving from the bus stop after they swapped hats?

Summer in Gravity Falls was a tradition, but it wasn’t like it was set in stone. Things were going to change, and Dipper wasn’t sure if he was ready.

Thanks for answering the ask! I would love to see more of you talking about Beta TeruKane!

hi again Anon :)

you're welcome! and thank YOU for the ask uwu

it was very fun and I had an amazing time doing it but it is also very hard to write them out, they just have this different vibe between them then canon yk...?

anyways I think Beta!Teru kicks Akane's legs randomly under the table

and would definitely be more obnoxious when asking for favors!! imagine him being more optimistic and just kicking Akane's shin sooo hard and then leaning over with such a wide grin saying his name in his face like, he has no chill

and Beta!Akane is slowly withering tbh

he can't take much more of this before he shuts Teru out of his head forever. usually he ignores him like canon except he just stares at his paperwork intently instead of his usual "no" beta!Akane just flat out moves on! Which makes beta!Teru want to pull his chair under him.... it never ends well for Akane

I think Beta!Teru would give Akane more of the "I respect you" look and then after Akane is like "what?(kinda gay)" Teru just gives him a malicious smile and pokes him with his sword (affectionately) and beta!Teru probably likes telling Akane he's gonna die. not like seriously! but like "that's gonna get you killed" I just know he would idk. but as much as I'm making him out too be the worst, he's a lot more calm I swear! well, maybe not calm but like like like

MORE NORMAL??? okay he is a little more modest then our canon jerk Teru

Beta!Akane is a bit more hesitant and stubborn to help Teru, he doesn't exactly see it as worth it most of the time. but the sheer respect both of them have for each other breaks through so TeruKane team up

but I think they'd like to try and step on each other's shoes whilst multitasking the fighting. but when it's intense they don't do that ehe

anyways beta!Akane doesn't talk about Aoi in the student council room after work is done like canon!Akane does. but Beta!Teru still likes too talk about his siblings whenever. although Akane won't go out of his way once she's even slightly mentioned he'll be like "are you asking about Ao-Chan?" and then go on and on and on about Aoi and the way her hair falls. he gets a lot more crazy then Canon, instead of in love or gawking, he's just so crazy over her! but he also rants about how he needs too keep this part of him on the low for her because she would most likely be worried. she's too perfect too be worried about him <3

and Beta!Teru just continues too give the stare or grin of "this is getting old" or "I'll steal your girl" but we all know he's full of shit and just wants too hear Akane talk about whatever.

but Beta!Teru genuinely doesn't want him too get as passionate talking about his loved ones, unlike canon!Teru who just wants Akane too talk because he gets so over the top about caring. but yk Beta!Teru just kinda doesn't have time too waste because he HAS A LIFE

a less exercist life and more study but still better then canon</3

ahhh I'm not sure where I'm going with this but I'm done rambling ugugisbsjdb ty for the ask Anon! <3

mob psycho ep 9 + 10 + 11 live reaction here we go

i'm going to be annoying!!! because i'm excited and this is my treat to myself after a very hellish 3 weeks!!!

i just wanna say i love when the op is like "DISTORTION" and you hear here the guitar distortion aahgfdl;skj

this part reminds me of when all the dead characters from Gurren Lagann came back to cheer on the protag and the guy in the focus of the frame was the protag's older bro figure. cries. ugh shit like this is why i love Shonen T__T

ugh i wanna draw this so bad

OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM STANDING WITH HIS LIL BOUQUET OHHHH THE BOY THE MOST BOY EVER AHHH

[yes i know what's about to happen im so. I'm so not okay]

UGH HE'S GROWN SO MUCH. THESE EYES ARE FILLED WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND

CRYING. SHAKING. THROWING UP. TOSSING MY DEVICE OUT THE WINDOW. AHHSDHGFEHHREJWEWRHIGE: THE SCORE IN THIS SCENE IS SO SOMBER AND TRAGIC LIKE IT RLLY EMPHASIZES THE EMOTION MORE THAN THE ACTION OH MY GOD BECAUSE HE'S SAD!!!! MOB IS IN PAIN TERU IS IN PAINNN OHHHH

THIS WAS SUCH AN INTERESTING ART DIRECTION LIKE IT'S NOT CONFIRMED BY HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT TERU IS THAT STRAY dask FALLING FROM THE CLOUD OF IMPACT??????????? OH my god.

i really really really REALLY LOVE THE SOUNDTRACK FROM THIS EPISODE I DEF NEED TO FIND IT LATER! It does such a good job taking us through Teru's whole emotional journey ugh

YOU'RE DOING GREAT BBY IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!

also lol did anyone make "yeet" memes about when Teru got tossed like a ragdoll or are we too cool for yeet memes now

i knew bones would pull through but ahhhhh Mob gradually losing his human form has been really cool to see animated <3

the animation for this episode is so insane like if gurren lagann actually had a budget. sorry for constantly comparing to gurren lagann but like. pls if you are reading this PLEASE WATCH GURREN LAGANN I PROMISE IF U LIKE MOB PSYCHO 100 OR MY HERO ACADEMIA OR CHAINSAW OR ANY OTHER THING I SCREAM ABOUT ON THIS BLOG. YOU WILL LIKE GURREN LAGANN. anyways.

The performance in ep 10....absolutely stunning from every possible angle...down to everything..this episode..the pacing...the voicE ACTING UGH.....wow... WOW!!! AMAZING!!!! I'm probably really bias because i emotionally love this part in the story but haha yeah....yeahh i love ep 10.

Ritsu once again the only one with brain cells and puts together what's going on SO quick cause even though he doesn't "understand" his brother he knows his brother like no one else. i'm never not emo about Ritsu. i love Ristu and Mob's relationship. ugh ugh ugh

the opening to s3 is so wild i notice something new every time i watch it. love that. reminds me of s1 <3

OH IM SO GLAD THEY KEPT HIS EXPRESSION FROM THE MANGA HERE

aw i like the detail that Ritsu left his coat for Teru......

lol they censored the fact Kageyama's friend almost got totally stabbed through a vital point by replacing the rod with a flat surface

i cant fucking DO THIS ANYMORE

wow i don't even have the energy to liveblog this episode it's so amazing and gorgeous and creative and emotional it's everything everything everything

good night! time to see if i manage to brainstorm a decent fanart idea

also i just want to say i really love reading the animation breakdown analysis over here for each episode, it's been really funny and i highly recommend!

Confession

Alessia

Three months passed pretty quick. Iya, sampai kadang gue mikir perasaan baru kemarin gue dapat kabar buat ke US dan tahu-tahu sekarang udah mau pulang lagi. Gue nggak bisa mendeskripsikan perasaan gue saat ini. Rasanya campur aduk, antara senang bisa ketemu dengan orang-orang hebat di sini, dan juga sedih ketika gue sadar bahwa kemungkinan untuk ketemu mereka lagi sangatlah kecil.

Gue hampir menangis ketika Lily berjalan mendekat kearah gue dengan tangan yang merentang lebar. "Here you go, baby." Dia memeluk gue dengan begitu erat begitupun dengan gue. I'm gonna miss her so much.

"Thank you so much. I don't know why I'm saying this, but I'm so glad we met." ujar gue dengan sungguh-sungguh. Dia paling benci ketika gue terus menerus mengatakan terima kasih untuk hal-hal kecil. Tapi gue bersyukur dia nggak mengomeli gue kali ini dan justru kembali mengeratkan pelukannya.

"You're welcome."

Gue kembali bersalaman dengan jajaran pimpinan Langone Health dan juga dokter-dokter di sini begitu acara resmi di tutup dengan sesederhana mungkin.

Mata gue mengedar ke seluruh penjuru rumah sakit untuk menangkap memori hari ini sebanyak mungkin yang nantinya akan gue ceritakan kepada orang lain dengan bangganya.

Hingga tibalah saatnya ketika Dr. Cedric mendekat kearah gue. Nggak ada yang berbeda dengan sikap gue begitu beberapa orang mengatakan bahwa Dr. Cedric memiliki perasaan khusus pada gue. Gue tetap memperlakukannya seperti biasa karena gue pikir perasaan pribadi tidaklah ada sangkut pautnya dengan pekerjaan.

"Can we talk for a bit?" ujarnya yang membuat gue menoleh sesaat kearah Lily untuk meminta izin yang dibalas berupa anggukan olehnya.

Dr. Cedric berjalan lebih dahulu keluar dari tempat ini diikuti oleh gue yang berjalan mengikuti langkah lebar miliknya. Mungkin orang-orang akan menganggap gue seperti kurcaci ketika berdiri di sebelahnya. Kenapa gue bilang begitu? Karena perbandingan tinggi badan dia dan tinggi badan gue terlihat jomplang. Dia ini kalau di Indonesia mungkin harus nunduk karena tinggi pintunya kelihatan nggak jauh beda dari tinggi badan dia.

"Alessia,"

"Yes?" Gue lumayan kaget karena nggak biasanya dia memanggil gue dengan sebutan demikian. Kebanyakan orang di sini memanggil gue dengan nama depan, which is Petra dan bukan Alessia, termasuk Dr. Cedric.

"I know you must be thinking that I'm a pretty weird person. It's okay, I'm used to it. I brought you here because there is one important thing I want to tell you. And I must say that immediately because you'll leave this city very soon."

Entah kenapa perasaan tidak enak itupun tiba-tiba muncul dalam benak gue. Aneh? Gue bahkan nggak pernah berpikir kalau dia aneh. Darimana dia bisa punya asumsi kalau gue tipe orang yang berpikiran kayak gitu?

"I like you." Dr. Cedric tiba-tiba menarik tangan gue yang membuat gue cukup kaget tapi gue juga nggak menepisnya.

"I know it's sounds terrible, but I really like you. I don't know when it starts. I just wanted to say this for a long time but I wasn't brave enough to do it."

Mungkin gue udah tahu fakta ini lebih dulu dan bodohnya gue nggak pernah berpikir kalau gue merasa sebersalah ini. Gue hanya menyayangkan kenapa dia harus suka dengan orang seperti gue dan bukan orang lain? Padahal Lily pernah bilang ada beberapa dokter di sini yang punya perasaan khusus ke dia.

Gue berdehem singkat karena tiba-tiba tenggorokan gue terasa begitu kering,

"First of all, I never thought that you were such a weird person. I think you're really cool. Second, thank you very much for being honest with me. I really appreciate it. But I'm truly sorry that I can't accept your feelings because I already have a special person in my life."

Gue menjeda ucapan gue sambil menatap mata Dr. Cedric yang kini kelihatan sedikit kecewa dengan jawaban gue. "He was a wonderful person, and loving him was the most honorable thing I have ever done."

"I'm truly sorry, Dr. Cedric. I hope you can find someone who can love you as much as you love her. Because I know you are a good person, and a good person deserves to be sincerely loved." ujar gue sambil tersenyum dengan tulus.

"He must be a lucky person to be loved by you." katanya sambil tersenyum tipis yang membuat gue merasa tersanjung.

Gue nggak pernah berpikir bahwa menolak perasaan seseorang yang tulus kepada gue akan membuat gue sedih. Sedih gue bukan karena gue nggak bisa menerima perasaannya, tapi karena seharusnya mereka nggak pantas mendapatkan sebuah penolakan.

"Can I hug you?" tanyanya yang kemudian gue jawab dengan anggukan, "Sure."

Also, like notice how For someone who wants to be around his brother 24/7, Tsukasa isn’t that clingy to him very much. He doesn’t seek Amane out or anything, unless Amane is directly in front of him.

Like 100% convinced Hanako scares the crap out of Tsukasa okay, it’s my 100% theory that probably won’t be canon but STILL. Also as a Yorishiro, you think Tsukasa like, was killed over and over like sumire? You think he had to relive his death??

Ooooo! That's an interesting question- I'm not sure because it seems Tsukasa can walk around unlike Sumire who was trapped in No.6's Boundary. That doesn't seem to be the case with Tsukasa tho- so maybe?

But I slightly noticed how Tsukasa hasn't deliberately gone out of his way to see Hanako. Witch is interesting because ya he seems like he wants to be around him 24/7 but we don't see much of him through the series? At least much of him around Hanako-

It would be very interesting if Tsukasa was scared of Hanako tho since it seems like he isn't scared of most anything. Tho ya sadly it probably won't be canon- but who knows maybe that will be the big twist lol

Tho I am curious on your thoughts about Hanako? You seem to have some interesting thoughts so I'm all ears lol (also I'm having a huge Hanako brain rot so please don't mind me- TwT)

Also can I say I HATE when people say Tsukasa abuses Mitsuba- have I already? No? Well I do- I hate it with the passion of OBLIVION-

I think the Tsukasa abuse theory was fun for it's time- it was the beginning of the series when that theory was more prominent but I think with the interactions we've gotten since then has left that theory up to debate and opinion but I feel like it's left a mark on Tsukasa's character as a hole. It feels like Tsukasa can't NOT be abusive now.

It makes me kinda sad because I love Tsukasa SO much as a character and to see him get so much hate for seemingly no reason is sad. Kinda like Teru- these two are like- top 2 favorite characters and they get so much hate because what? Teru's "heartless" and "unsympathetic"? Tsukasa is a "monster" and "abusive"? Smh

What about Hanako and Kou?- no one talks about theme??? What about how Hanako treats Nene??? What about Kou's backstabbing???

Anyway- *cough cough*

Basically lol I agree with all the shit you're bringing up ^^

But it does bring up another question regarding whether Tsukasa has had to relive his death like Sumire- if that theory is gonna work then we're gonna have to assume that the Bathroom isn't Hanako's Boundary.

So then would his Boundary be in the toilet?- ok ok hear me out- the actual legend of Hanako San in a lot of readings she drags you to hell THROUGH the toilet- some others have her turn into a giant lizard and eat you. I highly suggest looking into it yourself if you haven't already the parallels are EVERYWHERE. But what if Hanako's hell is that day? The day he killed his brother?(and maybe even hole family-)

I'm just shit balling- but I thought it could be interesting to add to the conversation

To All the Boys I've Loved

🥺 kalau baca benda-benda gini, memang akan teringat first love; Syazwan. I never forget even a single soul i once loved. I remember each & every one of them. I don't do hatred. The most is i resent the event, not the person. I won't wish any harm to their present self. Once in the past, beautifully in the past, nostalgically; thanking them for all the life plots for the only life i have. I know we all make silly mistakes; to learn from, to be better, to redirect us.

I wanted it too much too early. He wanted it too late & still not knowing how to do it. But that's okay. We both were just young & naive. Being the only lesson for his wake up call; that after me he then met the love of his life, i'm more than happy to play such a role in his life. That means there's no right person, wrong timing. If our timing is not aligned, then we're not aligned. Itu sahaja.

I remember him posting an announcement of his engagement with caption,

"Cinta yang menguatkan, bukan melemahkan."

I remember feeling, "Eh kau. Nak kata aku melemahkan ke? Aku tunggu tiga tahun. Ada aku cakap apa-apa kat kau? Takde." Bitter ngat sis 😂

But to think of it, yeah kalau dia rasa what we had was detrimental, and then later he learnt to recognize better what he needs, then be it. I learnt my lessons too. And carrying the first ever wound he inflicted upon me throughout my love life is my own fault & responsibility.

Entahlah. Member pun dah beranak bini. Kalau saya nak terus bitter & carry this wound & imply dekat those who are not him, is it still his fault?

No. I'm the one yang not wise enough to put things in proper places, to act accordingly. Dengan sesiapa pun, tanggungjawab pertama tu diri saya dulu.

Sekarang pun saya cuba sedaya upaya pegang mindset tu. Macam Kakzi kata,

"Tak kisahlah orang tu baik ke, korang sama-sama ada feeling ke. Kalau both tak ready & tak nak the same thing at the same time, then you're not aligned. Let go & let God."

Masa kita nak, orang tak nak. Masa orang nak, kita tak nak. Simply bukan jodoh. It is what it is. Memang bukan. Kalau betul yang Allah izinkan, semua aspect akan in harmony. Pegang tu je lah. Cuba pegang macam tu je.

Xuan sighs softly again and smiles down at his lover. "Don't worry baby, I'll take good care of you so that you won't end up traumatized ever again, okay?" His tone was gentle, understanding to a degree why Teru must've felt that way and why he was slightly reluctant. And that's why Xuan wanted to make sure that he'd never feel that way ever again, at least not with his beloved Master. "I'll still think about it. I'm not entirely sure if I want to be fucked or not, but I guess I'll just let things happen naturally and see where that gets us, shall we?" He grins again, the color of his beautiful green eyes darkening slightly from the passion and lust he was feeling for the other man. Without much further ado, Xuan then starts undressing himself. Either if he was going to fuck Teru as usual or be the one riding the incubus, Xuan still had to get undressed, and while he did that, he made sure to provide a nice show for his boyfriend, delighting him with the way in which his body moved and his hands revealed his skin inch by inch. Once all of his clothes were thrown somewhere on the floor, Xuan proceeded to start undressing Teru too, kissing his neck sensually while he began removing the other's clothing. "That night we met was incredible and I'll never forget it, but I feel like since then we've really came a long way. What started as mere curiosity about you and lust evolved into so much more to the point that I could swear that I can't live without you anymore." Xuan trails his fingers lightly over Teru's now uncovered skin, heading once again towards the incubus's cock to pleasure him. "You're intoxicating, you know that? The way you talk... The way you look at me, you touch me and the sounds you make when I'm pleasuring you... It's really hard for me to resist you at times. But above it all, I love you. I love you more than words could describe and that's why I want you to feel happy, comfortable and loved as well. So, please always tell me if there's anything you want or if there's something you don't like, okay?"

"So you won't laugh if I can't get it up? Not even lift an eyebrow?" He actually knows the answer already because he trusts Xuan, but somehow he feels like receiving another reassurement. "But I don't have any doubts about getting it up when I'm at least halfway sober…because you're too fucking gorgeous for me to stay flaccid!" He nods, feeling comfortable right now anyway. Xuan will take good enough care of him, he's aware of this. And this already starts when he undresses himself. The incubus lets out a marvelling groan being pleasured with the wonderful sight of the other's bare upper body before he can see his naked lower half, too. "So fucking beautiful, Master", he lets out and reaches out to touch the pale skin of the Chinese that's quite a contrast to his own bronze teint. "Damn, you're sure you're not made out of ivory?" With a sigh he closes his eyes now however with the most blissful of sighs, craning his neck to make place for Xuan's lips, all while his hands glide over the other's back, feeling his skin and his muscles underneath his fingertips. Nothing can be more perfect than this. Only standing on stage and being close to the man he loves. "Maaaster…" His words cause him goosebumps and he whines in the pleasure that becomes even sweeter now thanks to the emotional closeness they share. "Same. I didn't expect this to become so deep, but that it is that deep makes me happy." His dark eyes open halfway, revealing the glassy expression. "You make me fucking happy. Oh shit, I love you." He taked the other's hand and lays it onto his chest. "It's almost painful in here how much I actually do." He feels as if he lacks the right words right now; he simply can express himself better through music, but he's aware though that Xuan will think it's enough. That /he's/ enough with everything he is, and this is one of the best and safest feelings in the world. "I do that, babe. I'm not afraid to show you all my soft spots after all. The soft spots of my body and my soul." He swallows thickly.

@phoenix-of-jade

Untuk si kecil yang rewel, bawel dan caught my attention very well. Since I'm not very good at this kind of stuff, let me try it at least once, okay? Please, don't laugh at it, ya sayang? (Gemeter)

Warning: After reading this, you might cringe.

Remember when we met for the first time? The real situation is not flowery, as in the movies. I saw you eating your most beloved hahu hoheng with two of your err— weird friends. "Itu bocil SMP atau gimana?" was my first thinking because you looked so smoll with your hahu hoheng that makes your already round cheeks appear even more so, making you appear so little, almost like a mochi.

By snatching the hahu hoheng wrapper and simply rushing away, I actually played the annoying person in front of you on purpose (maaf ya) dan hari demi hari, aku sadar kalau, ngapain ya gua begitu ke Anas? Kata orang tahap pertama adalah denial, dan aku laluin itu semua. When you chatted to that blue cupang you called Icel (cmbr) I attempted to ignore that notion as well as to resist being envious and wanting your attention. Kalau kata newjeans sih,

"You got me lookin for attention."

Sampai sekarang masih cemburu, walaupun aku tau setidaknya kamu bakal terus di samping aku. TERUS... Apa ya, sebenarnya aku cuma mau ungkapin aja sih, kenang-kenangan pernah punya kamu di SMK aneh ini, punya cowok yang galak tapi lucu. Kelinci manisnya Athar, sayangnya Athar, lucunya Athar, cantiknya Athar, pokoknya apapun itu, Athar pasti suka. (Kecuali genit, Atharnya nanti ngambek)

Kalau disuruh deskripsiin kamu dengan satu lagu aja, aku bakal pilih Every Summertime by NIKI. Kenapa? Penasaran gak? :p Ya... Karena kamu memang seperti lagu itu. Ketika sama kamu, aku selalu jatuh cinta untuk yang kesekian kalinya, rasanya kayak lagi dipelet (Jangan-jangan kamu pelet aku ya?) Bercanda.

"Baby, I'd give up anything to travel inside your mind."

The lyrics perfectly capture how excited I am to find out what's on your mind, what you like to do besides your favorite hahu hoheng, what makes you happy, and whether you're thinking about me at all. I wanna know more about you, mau tau semuanya tentang kamu.

When I'm around you, my day seems more energetic—I can almost feel the heat rising from your ire at my little taunts. Furthermore, despite everything, I truly enjoy it when you behave well as a good boy and then launch an adorable attack on me (Pipow lucu, gemas, mau gigit) I love everything about you.

I love you the most, sayang, pipow, anak lucu.

...

Last, makasih ya udah mau sama Athar HAHAHA. Makasih udah selalu bikin cekikikan selama kurang lebih empat hari ini, maaf penulisnya Athar engga jago, tapi one thing for sure, Anas selalu cantik dan selalu berhasil bikin Athar maupun penulisnya senyum senyum karena gemes sama Anas (Lu bocil banget deh HAHAHA, pengen ngeledek terus) Menurut penulis, satu lagu aja engga bisa ngedeskripsiin gimana cantiknya Anas. Kalau bisa kirim 1000 lagu tentang cinta, bakal Athar kirim ke kamu. Yaudah, makasih ya udah baca, TOLONG jangan bawa bawa si cupang lagi karena Atharnya cemburuan banget. Jangan lupa dengerin lagu ini juga soalnya liriknya kamu_banget.