the way supernatural treats food is soooooooo crazy because they establish that sam and dean grew up in poverty and they had such little access to food that dean would have to shoplift bread and go without meals for himself so he could feed sam. but then as the show goes on they make more and more jokes about how much dean relies on food for comfort and can never feel full enough, and how sam stringently follows diets and exercise regiments as a form of control. but it's funny you see because dean likes pie and sam likes rabbit food. it's funny

as homestuck gets older and becomes more and more of a period piece i think it’s really interesting to see how continuations and fanworks take different approaches to maintaining that or not.

and i don’t want to outright say one is superior to the other. i think if you can find ways to introduce aspects of more contemporary pop culture or politics or technology into homestuck as a framework and still make it an interesting intentional choice then that’s a big achievement and not something to be scoffed at just by virtue of it being divergent from homestuck proper.

i think in a lot of ways it can keep it fresh and add a layer of relatability to the fans that grew up on it. after all, i think hussie was intending to make (or perhaps just coincidentally happened to make) homestuck relatable to his particular demographic of young adults on the internet in the late 2000s / early 2010s. i think rereading homestuck in my 20s really solidified this to me that homestuck was not intended to be a story about kids for kids but rather a story for adults about childhood and growing up. it’s funny that it wasn’t more obvious to me back then, or maybe i did pick up on it but i just didn’t really think about it all that much? because it’s so obvious. there’s so much 80s and 90s kid nostalgia in it and the tropes that the characters portray were already outdated or at least didn’t even really exist like they used to by 2009. and in many ways the characters themselves outgrow their own tropes and then later acknowledge it in the work itself both as time progresses and the narrative develops into something more complex and the characters become increasingly multi-dimensional.

i guess it’s just an interesting question to me. is having content in a story that will indefinitely age the work a “good” or “bad” choice? and several years down the line, will we be able to tell what choices were intentionally made so that it would one day be reflective of the state of technology / political landscape / pop culture at the time?

artists who set out to make their work as timeless as possible do kind of miss out on the opportunity to be a time capsule later on. or just generally representative of the climate it was created in, which is something that i think a lot of us can both appreciate but also find pretty unsavory about homestuck proper (cough dancestors cough) but then can i really say i wish those unsavory parts of homestuck didn’t exist? idk. they aren’t fun to read but i like that they make me think critically about the flaws of that particular part of internet history.

politics aside i think the fact that there’s a homestuck panel that incorporates vine is so cool. because it sort of inadvertently swallowed up a piece of internet history that would come to disappear into its already massive time capsule of media and pop culture and hussie didn’t even know. it’s just cool to me idk.

at the same time i think younger artists and writers that really prioritize keeping homestuck grounded in its era of internet and even going so far as to honor the nostalgia of an older generation is something i really admire and appreciate. and this is something that is becoming more common as homestuck ages (and becomes more of a period piece etc etc). i often find myself at a crossroads between exploring contemporary elements in my work and trying to emulate homestuck’s original tone and time period for the sake of preserving that integrity. like man. i could go on about this for such a long time because i feel like it’s just a really interesting discussion to see what we weigh as a meaningful divergence and refreshing change from homestuck proper vs what compromises the (for lack of better phrasing lol) “feels like homestuck” factor.

i think the discussions about sexuality and gender identity towards the end of comic and then further in the epilogues is an obvious example of this. hussie didn’t necessarily shy away from nuances of gender and sexuality but he didn’t really address them outright with labels either for the majority of homestuck proper until the end when other writers got involved. in early act 6 dirk is explicitly stated as gay (insert disney diversity win meme blah blah blah) but the character himself, which i feel like is an interesting reflection of hussie and homestuck’s general feelings about the topic of identity and labels (if i may speculate lmao), considers the act of labeling his sexuality as sort of this out of date, irrelevant thing in the grand scheme of things. whether that be in reference to who he is or what’s going on in the comic or a more metanarrative choice of hussie’s. some people interpret this to be a kind of admission of shame or maybe dirk just being pretentious but i personally interpret this as hussie kind of just being like. i don’t really want to spend too much time Talking about characters being gay i just want them to exist in the story and Be Gay. similarly to how the trolls don’t have a concept of sexuality in the same way the human characters do. it gives hussie an opportunity to have characters do Objectively gay things, from the reader’s perspective, without having to spell out their relationships to their own sexualities by real societal standards in the work itself when he was clearly more interested and comfortable talking about the trolls’ relationships to their fictional societal ones. and i think as a writer i find that pretty fair. (and yeah yeah i know another aspect of dirk’s whole deal is that he’s from the future so of course he would say that / the trolls are from another planet and all of this is in comedic foil to john i am not a homosexual egbert as the protagonist but i digress. idk i’m really only speculating here and maybe projecting lol)

bc tbh i also kind of shudder at the thought of writing gay characters who are always expected to spell out their identities to the audience when i’d rather just have them Do Actual Gay Things. (using gay as an umbrella term for lgbt+ yada yada). personally i’d rather have a scene where a character binds their chest to reveal an aspect of their gender presentation rather than feel obligated to spell out their relationship to their identity in words and explicit labels and also describe exactly how they Feel About All That. not because i want to cop out on representation and have their identities be totally open to interpretation necessarily, but more-so because i think it becomes exhausting sometimes as a gay person myself to have to keep acknowledging a character’s State of Differentness as obviously as possible every time i put a gay person in a piece of art.

not that i don’t find narratives that exclusively or heavily talk about and center themselves around identity and being in a State of Differentness in very outright ways important. to me that’s something very different and meaningful in completely different ways that can’t be accurately compared here. there are plenty of homestuck fanworks that make discussions of gender and identity a large priority that i think are extremely meaningful and one of the biggest reasons why i came back to homestuck after all these years and still really love the community of artists and writers that engage with it in this way. i think it’s an extremely wonderful thing, especially because with the homestuck community so niche, it really feels like a group of people spreading art that is, by a large majority, by gay people and for gay people. but in narratives that are not specifically centered around that, or has not centered themselves about that previously (like homestuck several acts into the comic) i can totally see how it comes across as off-putting. i think sometimes there’s a slippery slope with bigger projects with a large audience where the existence of gay characters in the work start to read as teaching tools for non-[insert identity here] or virtue signaling. i.e. it stops feeling like media that the reader can identity with as a gay person and more like media that is trying to represent gayness “accurately and positively” for a straight reader (or perhaps a gay reader who is completely new to their identity and appreciate this kind of easy-to-swallow and comfortable introduction). i find that in cases like this, the “representation” more often than not falls into the pitfall of being extremely generalized and sterilized or even stereotypical. which is a whole conversation in itself. bc when an identity is always easy to digest and understand, it risks reducing this character to the identity itself. water is wet i guess lol. idk it’s just a tricky balance. but definitely something i think about a lot when i’m engaging with contemporary homestuck fanwork.

long aside but. all of this to say. i just find it interesting to see how homestuck, as a kind of specific multimedia form of art and storytelling online that seemed to set a new precedent for the webcomic format at large, has taken on a genre of its own like any piece of art does that is unique and off the beaten path in its execution. idk it just makes me think of art history in general. like it’s fascinating to me to see something like homestuck which was once very new and fresh to me become a piece of art that has aged enough to open discussion about approaching the framework of homestuck in either a traditional or contemporary way. as a continuation or a fanwork or an homage. i guess the only point i’m trying to make here is that i don’t think one is better than the other and there’s something i appreciate about both.

i feel like i’m kind of avoiding the elephant in the room here which is that there’s a lot of discussion going on right now about maintaining consistency with homestuck proper in the current continuation with homestuck2 and that’s sort of a whole other can of worms i don’t really want to get into. but i would like to acknowledge how interesting it is that these discussions really obviously highlight how fast memes get “stale” nowadays in the current state of social media and everything seems to exist in a perpetual state of blink-and-you-miss-it virality. i really sympathize with the homestuck2 team who i’m sure are feeling a huge amount of pressure to strike a balance between making something refreshing / relatable to the current homestuck audience and also maintaining the “feels like homestuck” factor. all the while attempting to fulfill as many reader wishes as possible within reason. (not to mention the standard of “reason” being extremely subjective) it’s not an easy thing to do and definitely a hugely different creative process than the one hussie went through during early homestuck days. each with their own complicated hoops to jump through in terms of Making Art People Will Engage With.

can i ask what is kinyarn 😭

I think it's about time I explained Kin-Yarn to the new generation instead of jokingly brushing it off and making people do their own research.

Please note I will be spelling Kin-Yarn with the hyphen, as god (me) intended. Kinyarn is still hella valid and the more commonly used name. I also wont be going into my interpretations too much since it's complicated and long i do not actually ship it i promise.

Kin-Yarn is the greatest Kirby ship of all time. It's the ship between Yin-Yarn from Kirby's Epic Yarn, and Kine the fish from hell. There isn't anything canon for it, these characters have never and will never interact in HAL's eyes. However we, the fans, know better.

After reading my thesis I'd strongly recommend checking out all of the content the long dead kin-yarn fandom has to offer. Most of it is like, really old, since those around for Kin-Yarn's inception have either left tumblr, moved onto new and cooler fandoms, or don't think it's that funny anymore. (It isn't because it's a fandom in-joke from two years ago.) Thankfully there are many great relics of the past, of the days when new Kin-Yarn content showed up every like five posts on your dash. AO3 has most of the Kin-Yarn fanfiction that's been written, but some of it is hidden away within blog archives and dusty links to google docs. Kin-Yarn videos also exist, including some (two) AMVs and the classic Kin-Yarn ASMR made by yours truly. The Kin-yarn/Kinyarn tag on tumblr.com also has a lot of posts so just go through that.

I. HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

Kin-Yarn was made at some point in October 2020. Out there on the internet there is a site called FanficMaker. It's a pretty basic website. I don't know exactly how the creators found the material to make this, but there is a okay-ish sized pool of sets.

These sets are fairly generic stories, with the program plugging in the names of characters you input into specific slots. There's a surprising amount of variation between these sets, but after you play with the site too long you start seeing the same ones over and over.

So Voiddemon a few years ago found this website, and decided to make some fanfiction and upload it to tumblr.com. On one occasion, the website generated the sentence "It was Yin-Yarns gay wedding party..." It didn't say who he was marrying, but I found it funny and uploaded it to tumblr.com. On a separate day, in a separate prompt, I put Kine in and it gave me a similar result. "Meanwhile, Susies mind was wondered back to the past. It was Kines gay wedding party..." I also found this funny because. Kine. And uploaded it to tumblr.com.

Here are the two screenshots together <3

I will now introduce Ninikins (Who has since changed their username and moved on from the Kirby fandom), who suggested that the two of them were getting married to each other. Everyone in my circle online at the time found the idea hilarious because.

From here everyone went crazy and just started. Kin-yarning all over the place.

II. Fan Interpretations

Memetaknight, creator of the greatest Kin-yarn fanfiction of all time Yiracle (It's my favorite :shrug:) created a Kin-Yarn Essay. Today it is a great time capsule that brings us into the culture around Kin-yarn in the past. It's just over two years old now so happy birthday Kin-Yarn essay. It delves into the two primary interpretations around the ship. I'll just quote the most important bits of it since I'm lazy you can go check my sources ok.

"A common Kin-Yarn characterization is to ship either both brothers with Kine (as a V shape relationship), or just one of the brothers with Kine... This interpretation has many specific tropes... but it has one extremely interesting idea that is unique to it. In the spirit of Kirby’s Epic Yarn’s final battle... it has been theorized that something similar could apply to Kin-Yarn, in which the brothers would catfish Kine .. Kine, either on purpose or on accident."

"The other interpretation sees the yarn body previously mentioned as a third entity... which is referred as Yin-Yarn separate from the needle brothers. This characterization idea arises from the fact Yin-Yarn is referred as a singular character"

There is a third interpretation that stems from the two of these, which is that both the Yarn Body or puppet is in love with Kine and so is at least one of the knitting needles.

Often in Kin-Yarn works, it is unclear which one of these the creator interprets the ship as, since artwork and fics include all three characters (The puppet and the two needles) with no clear distinction between them. A distinction being drawn is more commonly in artwork, due to the nature of the medium.

III. Love and Marriage

For the most part, Kin-Yarn is portrayed as a perfect relationship. With Kine and Yin-Yarn being madly in love. The nature of one being a hero and another being a villain is not often explored, but when it is explored the most common interpretation is Kine accepts Yin-Yarn despite his past wrongdoings. Oftentimes Yin-Yarn will reform and become good for Kine.

they also have sex

III A. Who are Prince Fluff's Parents?

Prince Fluff (Also from Kirby's Epic Yarn) has no stated or seen parents within the series. Originally KEY was called "Keito no Fluff", and featured Prince Fluff himself as the protagonist. He was supposed to be searching for his mother, but this was removed from KEY so he has. No parents.

A semi-common headcanon within the Kirby fandom is that Prince Fluff was created by Yin-Yarn, which is what originally spawned this interpretation. A few perceptive Kin-Yarnians noticed that Kine and Prince Fluff have the same exact color scheme. Like it's kind of uncanny actually Kine is just a little desaturated.

This caused the creation of the Yamily Tree, an. absurdly large family tree but it's kinda bloated and not that funny anymore. Here's the condensed version

Usually Prince Fluff is not actually biologically related to Kine. Since that has horrifying implications. Instead it implies that after Kine and Yin-Yarn are married, they adopt Prince Fluff (Which he usually isn't happy with).

III B. KINE'S DIVORCES

Ok so Kine Kirby is married to Mine canonically. However we haven't seen her in a very long time, and in Kirby Clash Kine is sleeping on a bench. Leading to the idea that he and Mine got a divorce. This is accepted by everyone who ships Kin-Yarn because Kine cheating on his wife isn't a laughing matter, but Kine leaving his wife for Yin-Yarn is. (Usually the interpretation is Mine leaving Kine)

Even though Kin-Yarn is interpreted as perfect most times, other interpretations are that after they get married the relationship becomes volatile. At the core the two still love each other, but due to one reason or another they've grown apart. This is best shown in the Kin-Yarn Fanfiction named after the ships national anthem, "The One That Got Away" on AO3 by HeavyLobster77.

This is very popular both for the drama and because it's very funny.

IV. Historical Kin-Yarn Events & Holidays

-The Great Kin-Yarn Porn Scare of 1969 Someone uploaded an explicit Kin-Yarn fic on AO3 tagged as explicit with very SUS tags. It wasn't real though and the fic is just among us.

-Kin-Yarn Discord There's a Kin-Yarn discord out there that's dead as hellll and I'm. Not sharing a link good luck finding it

-Kin-Yarn WORLD TOUR I blazed a Kin-Yarn post when tumblr Blaze first came out. Spending real money to force people to look upon Kin-Yarn was a powerful move.

-Feared Anon creating the best AUs of all time Kinederella (Technically theres no real au just funny images)

-Kin-Yarn Blog Wars ok i cannot find many of the blogs but for a bit everyone made blogs dedicated to loving or hating kin-yarn. Also KinYarn-Archives was created at some point around this time I think.

-Kin-Yarn BANNED from the Shipping Wiki Tumblr user Kaissauce tried to create a page on the shipping Wikipedia, but it was deleted by the mods lmao. Here's what the page originally looked like.

-Urban Dictionary somehow it got on fucking urban dictionary. this was my doing but it should never have been allowed to happen.

-Kin-Yarn: The Movie Released on July 29th 2021

no comment needed we've all seen it

-Kin-Yarn Day Kin-Yarn day is a national holiday beloved and celebrated by all, on February 14th. No other holiday is celebrated that day <3

V. Conclusion

idk how to end this thing. love wins and it shouldn't. do your own research

I totally understand if you don't wanna continue the fleetway comic! If possible tho, would you be interested in explaining what it was about? If you don't wanna I completely understand! Hope you feeling better!

Uuuuuhhhh

Oh my god there is so much I'l just have the basic notes tho so

I changed how the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald worked. Not too much, but there where changes.

The Chaos Emeralds are entities of pure unfiltered chaos, and if left untouched for too long, will start making that chaos other people's problems.

The Master Emerald, is the thing that can order them around. It can't control them, but it can direct their power into something else.

And the Master Emerald's judgment is based on Takal's judgement. Soul shit powers and lights.

Takal didn't want the emeralds causing chaos and problems, so she made them stay with Sonic. And he ran out of rings pretty quickly so the emeralds started running off Sonic's life source instead.

The super form is just fleetway stuff, the pure chaos drives people a bit insane.

And so, the villains and heroes teamed up to stop and contain Sonic.

With Eggman and Tails putting their heads together, they made the capsule that you see Sonic in the two pages I drew. (I mean you see the chains but there's also like a funny force field thing.)

That's largely what was happening. Sonic goes into a semi-lucid state, still insane, but he can talk properly.

And the comic was just gonna be like exploring Tails's life and emotions towards the situation.

Tails would have been the main character this time. Sonic's just an introduction.

I also made a bunch of other stuff too, but this end up being reeeeeeaaaaally long if I explained all that stuff too. Like the world without sonic type deal.

the beautiful person's journal - #10: the second channel

here is a google doc for the lost 2nd channel videos i could salvage! i'll be discussing some of these in today's entry.

this google drive folder compiled by my fandom friend and fellow caddicarus veteran @linc-karo-27 includes the ASMR video and the only surviving (to my knowledge) archives of the two 2014 streams that were posted to the second channel. it also includes the may 2019 update video and the failed 2020 GITCY stream.

let's face it: the withdrawal between caddicarus uploads is REAL. we can only rewatch those banger videos so many times to the point where we can recite them in our sleep, and twitter rants and instagram posts can only do so much to satisfy our hunger.

but of course, we have our greatest option - the stream archive channel! hours upon hours upon hours of streams are saved here, ready for our enjoyment. and don't even get me started on the "best of" videos!

when you scroll down far enough, you'll come to find that this channel wasn't always a stream archive. you'll find old video archives, an attempted let's play series, discussion videos, shitposts, mishka spyro YTPMVs, and a 2013 tour of caddy's room in his parents' house. and it was gold.

for this entry, we're going to be discussing the history of this channel and how it got to where it is today!

before 2019, this second channel was known as...

🎵 CAAAA-DYYYY'S CON-UN-DRUMS! 🎵

first established on august 24th, 2013, with its first upload being on september 11th and its announcement video being uploaded to the main channel on september 13th, caddy's conundrums was the place for any random video to be uploaded, be it related to video games or not. this was where drum covers called home until 2017, and where drive thru reviews got its start before it was moved to the main channel in 2015.

one thing i always found interesting about this era of the channel was how the graphic design looked arguably better than the main channel's. the logo actually looked super cool and wasn't made in cooltext. there was also a thumbnail avatar specifically used for this channel as well!

the channel's content

the channel's first upload was the classic "a tour of the room", where caddy gives us a detailed tour of his room in his parents' house. it's a wonderful time capsule of retro caddicarus and it's still up to this day if you would like to give it a watch.

the next upload was the first episode of the series "regarding". regarding was a show where caddy would discuss anything related to pop culture or video games or youtube changes...

...wait a second, this sounds a bit familiar...this show just might as well have been a precursor to the now-unlisted rant series that was posted on the main channel through late 2019! of course, the presentation was not as clickbait-y or angry as the 2019 rant series, but it's interesting to look at both series and see how the approach to video-making had changed between those eras.

there was also the [NOSTALGIACAD] series - which was an archive of his pre-TCS vids from the main channel. before the banger 2020 caddicarus episode where he reacted to these vids, fans would simply just come across them by scrolling to the bottom of the second channel and seeing for themselves. when i was 12 and about a month in on the beautiful people train, i came across "the cleaning", and that's actually where i found out his last name is caddick. it was through a comment on the video but comments on it are now disabled for some weird reason. i think i also memorized the words to "he's the dog" as well. lmao.

caddy cussbottom was a one-off that was originally going to be a series. it was basically "you know what's bullshit?" but british. this is where i found out the name of the certified hood classic "combine harvester" song that's used in a lot of his vids.

there was some funny shitpost-type stuff, like this one where cerys' snake pixie escaped her terrarium or this one that's basically a spyro YTPMV with mishka the dog. i'm not gonna go into depth about every single one - because (almost) every single one is still up as i'm typing this!

in early 2015, caddy did a sponsored video for 1up box, which was like a knockoff lootcrate. this was such a cute video, and it was done in a very caddy fashion. although it deeply hurt my soul when caddy didn't recognize BMO and called him "the 1up box guy".

the channel also serves as an archive for the failed puppicarus series, which was canceled and uploaded to the second channel a month after its premiere. i'll go into more depth about that series in a future entry - let's just say there's a reason i didn't talk about it in the entry about 2012-16 side shows.

there's two more i'll talk about - first one being this ASMR video from june 2016. this was during the peak of the asagao academy fandom, and this normalboots/hidden block dating sim basically brought a bunch of old and new fans together on tumblr. and it just so happened that most of the normalboots/hidden block guys used tumblr at the time. these fans sent them all kinds of asks...and one meme involving the fans trying to get them to make ASMR videos started up at one point. caddy declared on this post that if he got 5,000 notes, he'd make an ASMR video. and we all impressively got him there. yes, i also did daily reblogs on my old (now-deactivated) account. to people outside of tumblr, this video was out of left field, even for him. but it was the funniest shit ever. and it was privated in 2019. sigh.

there was also a video of bloopers from the tweenies video - and the bloopers consisted entirely of brutalmoose stumbling over his lines for the cameo. it's iconic. this was also sadly privated in 2019.

the decline

the channel was most utilized from 2013 to around mid-2015 as an outlet for drum covers, random topic discussions, shitposts, quick game reviews, and a brief stream archive - only 2 streams from 2014 were archived, and they can be found in karo's folder i linked at the top of the post.

2015 got off to an active start for the channel - we had the 1up box video, a regarding episode about the two spider-man movie actors, the aforementioned spyro YTPMV, and a video where caddy comments on how microsoft screwed up solitaire on windows 8. these videos were all uploaded between february and april, and after that, the channel went radio silent until puppicarus was archived in january 2016. after that, the ASMR video was posted that june, and the brutalmoose outtakes were posted in january 2017...and that was it for caddy's conundrums. so what happened?

well, to put it shortly, it was time constraints, the migration of drive thru reviews to the main channel in 2015, and the establishment of the caddy show.

now that caddy was producing two videos a week for the main channel in 2015, extensive amounts of time just couldn't be poured into the second channel anymore. and this would ESPECIALLY become more apparent during the reign of the 3-day-a-week schedule come 2016-18. around this same time, he would stop streaming, and he wouldn't stream again until after the retool in 2020.

the caddy show came along to the main channel in 2017 and would become a new outlet for...drum covers, random topic discussions, shitposts, and quick game reviews. this was another huge factor in the second channel's decline - the main channel started doing everything the second channel did. and so, the second channel declined.

...but it obviously wouldn't be that way forever.

the rejuvenation

around spring 2019, the name of the second channel was mysteriously re-named "caddy plays". there were initially no announcements or branding changes, just a random name change. we also saw the privating of the 9 drive thru reviews episodes that released on the channel - unfortunately, i could only salvage three of them. the drum covers were also privated for some insane reason.

this would later be officially acknowledged in a main channel update video in may. one of the announcements in that video was the announcement of let's plays, a first in caddicarus history. in the past, he'd expressed his disinterest in doing let's plays. but in 2019, he changed his mind, and in june, an n sane trilogy let's play began, with the videos being edited by cerys. cerys' contributions helped caddy continue to focus on the main channel while also maintaining the second channel.

this let's play series didn't last very long, only lasting from june 26th to september 11th in 2019. during that time, the only game completed was n sane trilogy. we had a one-off cuphead let's play with tomska, 2 parts of a ride to hell: retribution let's play, and one part of a blair witch let's play.

the titles were all-caps yelling - typical of let's play channels. the thumbnails weren't too clickbaity...with the obvious exception of the ride to hell videos where the sexy scenes were deliberately used. keep in mind that this was 2019 at-his-last-resort caddicarus, so he was doing all he could to try and stay relevant and bring in enough money to feed his family. i'll go into more depth about this crazy year in a future entry about what i dub the second intermediate period.

i personally didn't watch these let's plays - pretty much because i was absent for them. i'd stopped watching caddicarus a couple months prior to these developments, and while i knew what was going on thanks to karo, i wasn't actually watching the videos themselves.

but i can give you an interesting fact - the first part of the n sane trilogy let's play marked the very first use of lumpies and germs, the new fandom name for caddicarus fans after the retirement of beautiful people 10 months prior.

and y'know what? i outta start watching through these let's plays. it's more caddicarus content to tide me over until the spyro video. lol.

so after the last let's play video, the channel was dormant once again until finally, in april 2020, caddy officially returned to streaming. it was a joyous day in the community...ESPECIALLY for veteran folk like me. except i wasn't there for it...because i'd been gone for a year and onward ripped me a new one a month prior to this return. LMAO.

after this return, the second channel became a stream archive, and it was now seeing regular uploads all the time. by next year we were getting "best of (year)" videos edited by sir toasty. i remember sir toasty being a fan for years and it was so heartwarming seeing him get that chance to work for caddy.

so just like the main channel - the second channel had the best possible outcome after all the adversity. it finally hit the 100k mark in march of this year and is still steadily growing.

while it was never as well known as the main channel, the content of the second channel has still touched the hearts of thousands of caddicarus fans, from generation to generation.

so that's a wrap for this entry. i've now covered every show that's been done across both channels (except for puppicarus, of course). in the next entry, we'll be exploring caddy's history with sponsors, and how sponsor segments evolved over the years!

9, 10, 17, 18, 19 :D

Have a plate:

9 - A book that was better than you expected it to be

I go into all books with high hopes, occasionally dashed....maybe "Future Popes of Ireland" by Darragh Martin? I picked it up because the title sounded fun and then it turned out to be a great family story and a really funny satirical sad time capsule of a changing Ireland personally and politically for the three siblings. I really loved that book in the end and there were so many parts that resonated with me, especially honestly the worst sibling who is the spoiled youngest brother and future pope who has gifted kid centre of the world syndrome to the maximum.

10 - A book that didn't live up to your expectations

"This One Sky day", Leone Ross. I am here for magical realism, I am not here for magical realism meaning that magic solves every single plot point Because Magic. Beautiful writing and lots of fascinating ideas but both the deus ex machina and the central love story did not sit right with me

17 - top five books of the year - I answered this but I read enough good books I'm going to reanswer with a new set :

Mavis Gallant, the Cost of Living. Perfect, ironic, satirical short stories in washed up postwar Paris. Funny and wince worthy sad and with the most oblique and accurate possible takes on the politics of the time

The Yield, Tara June Winch. Parallel narratives of a 19th century missionary witnessing the cruelty of Australian policies towards the Aboriginal people and a young woman returning to her family and the mystery of her sisters disappearance. Just so well written and subtle and an amazing example of a book that is a dictionary and a cultural ark and the story of why the cultural ark exists in one.

Get in trouble, Kelly Link. Hella surrealistic and brillaint and spooky short stories. Just pure catnip to me. Read "the specialists hat" online and you will see

This mournable body, Tsitsi Dangarembga. 'Nervous conditions', which this is the sequel to, really changed me, and this book is in some ways such a painful next chapter in the main character's life but so so well realised. You track her every step of the way, even into some terrible places, and you slowly walk out of them with her too.

The haunting of alma fielding, Kate Summerscale. Just a fascinating book albeit with every possible content warning for psychiatric and medical trauma in the interests of parapsychology, oh my GOD.

18 - least favourite book of the year.

I feel bad saying this about any one book! They all tried their hardest. Or tried somewhat. I don't think I read anything truly actively terrible just some books that didn't really get where they were trying to go

19 - best non fiction

I was going to say I'd have to pick a textbook, but I forgot haunting of alma fielding was non fiction! So that one :)

SheepyReads May Round-Up! (15 Books)

Sci-fi/Fantasy

Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, Vol. 1-4: This series is an isekai about an average guy who finds himself in his favorite male power fantasy novel with two twists: 1. Our main character has reincarnated as the villain who will be tortured to death by the hero and 2. (Unknown to the protagonist) The story is now being published on a women's fiction website known for gay romance. This series was translated from Chinese, and for better or worse a lot of the Chinese syntax has been left intact in the official translation.

This story is fast-paced and very fun. Shen Yuan is constantly grappling with a video-game like system that restricts his ability to alter the story but also rewards his attempts to make it less flat and full of plot holes. His relationship with Luo Binghe, the hero who may eventually kill him, is both sweet and fraught, a dynamic the author happily plays for laughs.

My big complaint is that there is a lot of homophobia for an m/m romance. This kind of reminds me of 2012 fanfiction, where the main character insists he isn't gay, but just kind of accepts it when the story takes him there. There are a lot of better gay romances out today (see below) but I also had a good time reading this series, so I'll say: Recommended, With Caveats

A Master of Djinn by P. Djeli Clark: Fatma el-Sha’arawi, officer for the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments and Supernatural Entities, tears through an alternative version of 1920's Cairo to track down a person claiming to be the man who changed the world by releasing djinn into the world forty years ago. The setting of this book was phenomenal, richly drawn without overshadowing or bogging down the characters. The mystery was well put together, with a twist that made me feel stupid for not figuring it out sooner. I also enjoyed Fatma's developing relationship with her on-again off-again girlfriend. Recommended

Ten Thousand Stitches by Olivia Atwater: Effie makes a deal with a faerie lord: He will help her become a lady for long enough to marry a baron if she adds a stitch to his jacket for every minute she spends as a lady for the next hundred days. If she fails to marry the baron, she will have to be his maid forever. This is perfect if you love Diana Wynne Jones. A very charming romance that surprised me by saying, "Actually, Effie's problems would be solved a lot faster if she unionized rather than marrying a baron." Recommended.

Royal Assassin by Robin Hobb: Oof, ooo, ouch, my bones. Fitz has enough time to recover from the first book before we're plunged right back into court intrigue mixed with the worsening threat of the red ships. Hobb does a really good job of bridging the first and third book with a book that increases the stakes, but has it's own interesting narrative arc. I have never been so distraught about horse sales in my life. I have put myself on a strictly fluff diet until I have enough strength to read the final book in the trilogy. Recommended

Graphic Novels

Dykes To Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel: A collection of slice of life comic strips written by Bechdel from 1988 to 2008. A time capsule of a specific period of queer life and the politics that affected and were born from it. Also, it's funny. Recommended

Twelfth Grade Night by Molly Booth: A fantasy-touched YA retelling of twelfth night that is very openly queer. I think there could have been EVEN MORE identity based shenanigans here, but I really loved the decision to just have fairies in the background for funsies, so I forgive it. Very sweet, very pretty, though not something I'm putting on my keeper shelf. Recommended.

Komi Can't Communicate by Tomohito Oda, Vol. 23: I am neither recommending nor not recommending this one. Either you just read the last 22 volumes of Komi and Tadano's awkward flirting and now you want to revel in how cute they are officially dating, or you don't.

Yakuza Fiancé by Asuka Konishi, Vol. 3: Miyama continues to be insane about Yoshino and I continue to support him completely. We meet Yoshino's cousin and an old flame of Miyama's in this volume and it is so funny to see the contrast between them. The old flame thinks she's a ruthless badass who will do anything to stay ahead in the modeling business, but just seems to be taking any opportunity her wealthy family can scrounge up for her. Meanwhile, Yoshino's cousin talks about the time she paid four million yen for 15 milliliters of blood and pushed Yoshino to the brink of death in a Just Girly Things &lt;3 voice. I love this series. Recommended

The Muscle Girl Next Door by Amesuke Ano: A slice-of-life comic about a guy who wants to build muscle, and his crush on his very buff next door neighbor. I really liked that the woman he likes is unapologetically muscular and masculine, but otherwise there really isn't much to this book. Not Recommended

Chick-Lit

The Debutante Divorcee by Plum Sykes: Recommended If You Think Chick-Lit Peaked In 2005

Finlay Donovan Is Killing It by Elle Cosimano: Finlay is a struggling romantic suspense author who is not making ends meet as she navigates her sudden divorce. When a woman mistakes her for a hitman she winds up bumbling through an attempt to kill her target and uncovering a larger mystery involving the Russian mafia. I liked how the mystery unfolded in this book, with a slow reveal of a larger criminal picture, and there was something hilarious about how all the ways Finlay's life have gone to shit make it easier for her to get away with her crimes (Ex. She had to buy a prepaid cellphone after she stopped being able to pay her phone bill consistently). However, I didn't like this enough to want a series of it, and did not expect the huge cliffhanger at the end. Not Recommended

Romance

A Thief In The Night by K.J. Charles: Romance novellas are very difficult to write because there is so little time for good character development. K.J. Charles makes it look easy. K.J. Charles makes it look fun. I can't recommend this enough. I'm not giving you a description beyond historical m/m romance you can read in one sitting. You want to know more go buy it. Shoo!

January 2: Halloween Resurrection

As part of my mission to watch every Halloween, I've watched Resurrection. And...you know, I knew it would be bad and I put my expectations down on the floor and with such low expectations, I didn't hate it. But I completely agree with the assessment of it as "unnecessary." This movie really didn't do anything or bring anything to the table. It made overtures sometimes, but after it was over, I just felt...meh. Nothing really. Like there wasn't much of a point to the last 90 minutes.

Its biggest sin is being the only other film in the H20 timeline. If there were more, I might feel like, okay, they had to resurrect Michael to keep this whole story line going, they had to kill Laurie so Jamie Lee Curtis wouldn't be forced to do any more films (again, in this timeline). But since this movie is basically the end of this universe, since it was this movie and only this movie for which they retconned the ending of H20 to have Michael live, and it had so little to say or to add to the franchise, it did so little to even entertain, it seems like a terrible waste. It didn't have anything to do wit H20 after the first 15 minutes. It didn't do anything with the other survivors of that movie, for example John or Molly--and a part of me likes that because it makes it easier for me to ignore it and just tell myself H20 is the end of this timeline, the satisfying end of Laurie's and Michael's story. Even more so since Laurie's end was so dissatisfying. I don't want to see the final girl die! Even if she does get a bad ass moment before her death and even if her scenes are the best part of the film.

But if it wasn't going to do anything with what H2O set up, then why does it even exist?

If the answer is, to tell another cool Michael-related story...well that would require a cool Michael-related story.

I appreciated a few things, at least a little bit. I appreciate the movie as a time capsule--they were obviously trying so hard to make it relevant and hip or whatever, which of course makes it very dated 20 years on, but in a sort of interesting way. Let's make it about college students, and hidden cameras, and the Internet. Oooooh the Internet. Watching all of the Halloweens has really shown me just how much the franchise reflects the changing trends of horror, but also fashion, movie-making, characterization, etc. Resurrection certainly is a good example of its time.

Also, having "Deckard" help Sarah survive to become the final girl, by using a weird little 2001-era phone, was a nice 'technological' touch. It was fun to see the meta-element of the high school kids watching the same movie as the audience and reacting in real time.

I also...get what they were trying to do with examining the mythos of Michal Myers. That can be fun when done well: letting different characters explain their theories, considering different backgrounds and explanations, seeing Myers from the outsider's POV rather than from within his family, as the movies so often do. The fake out of the "origin story" being placed there by the producers, not a real explanation but just a ruse, a building of the myth for profit while they underestimate the real threat, was an interesting touch. Something there about the franchise itself, I think... But the intro sequence of Halloween VI did this better. Resurrection was too touch and go, too sloppy.

There were also a couple of scenes that were pretty good. I liked Laurie's Michael trap in the opening, even though I didn't like the concept of Laurie in a mental institution as a whole. The sequence where the camera man is killed and his death is intercut with Tyra Banks dancing and making herself coffee was pretty funny. It didn't feel Halloween-y--more like a cut-rate Scream or other horror-comedy--but I enjoyed it nevertheless. Similarly, Michael Myers stalking Michael Myers through the dark, leading to Busta Rhymes yelling at Myers and telling him to skedaddle, was creepy and then funny in turn. And the discovery of Michael's (real) lair was maybe a bit too disgusting for me, but effective.

That's basically it, though. Overall, it was just...hard to care. There were a lot of characters, and except for Sarah and Jen, and a little bit the character played by Sean Patrick Thomas only because he was played by Sean Patrick Thomas, I really didn't know anything about any of them, and so I just wasn't attached. Also, while the quality of the mini-cameras was obviously...what the quality of mini-cameras was in 2001, having big chunks of the action, and intercut parts of pretty much every kill, presented on grainy mini-camera footage, made it pretty much impossible to even figure out what was happening. After the genius of H20, it was disappointing to see the franchise revert to standard slasher fair, and without any of the Halloween staples (other than Myers himself) that make the old Halloween routine so pleasant to return to again and again. No Sam Loomis or Loomis type figure to warn the police about Myers. No particular reason or goal for Myers' killing (other than 'get out of my house' I guess). No aesthetically pleasing suburban American Halloween scenes. No creepy daytime buildup to the killing spree.

Overall, if you want to watch found footage horror, you should watch Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity. If you want to watch comedy/meta-horror, you should watch Scream. If you want to watch something from the early 2000s, I'm sure there were a lot of much better movies made during that time to turn to. And if you want to watch Michael Myers go on a killing spree, you should watch the original Halloween--or Halloween II or IV if you want a higher body count. This one doesn't have anything to offer other than the wild realization that it was made at all.

I’ve been rereading Ranma for the first time since probably high school and, it’s really really funny?

Like I always enjoyed it but when I was younger I got really invested in the martial arts and the romance plot, so I always wanted more story development than we got.

But this time I know what to expect and just, the comedic timing is so good. I laughed out loud multiple times during the rhythmic gymnastics battle, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised to see how many of the jokes managed to age well.

Given the premise and the time it was written I was expecting to cringe a lot more but in all honesty it’s been a really interesting time capsule about gender roles in the 1980s Japan and while not everything lands today (the fact that nobody tells Akane that the pet pig she sleeps with and presumably changes in front of is actually Ryoga is pretty damn uncomfortable) there are little touches I really appreciated, such as Ranma’s friends respecting his pronouns regardless of his current form, or the way Ranma reacted to that figure skater deliberately and non-consensually kissing him.

Sure it’s still given a comedic bent, but I was impressed by how much focus was given to how much the act upset Ranma. Even that early in manga he would often use his female body to make use of the male gaze, but that was on HIS terms. When that guy started touching him and more without his permission, Ranma felt VIOLATED and even though it’s never delved too deep into, it was still far more than I’d ever expected from 30+ year old comedy manga.

I’m about 6 volumes in and overall the manga is still funny, touching, and expressive. It really is a classic.

Of course, I’m worried I’m going to have to eat my words about how funny this manga is and how well it’s aged as soon as Happosai shows up…

Your thoughts on the epi?

This episode was everything! I don't remember when I've enjoyed crying so much. The funny thing is, though, that I've found myself crying more while rewatching those scenes, than I cried during the first time I watched the episode. This episode will definitely rank among my favorites. Let's talk about the B and C characters and then get to Edser and, of course, Kiraz at the end. I spent the first 30 minutes resisting the urge to punch my screen anytime Ayfer was on it. Damn, I wanted to slap her silly. Could she have been any more annoying? Eda's a grown woman, if she is finally doing the right thing and telling the father of her child he's a dad, then be supportive instead of a screeching pain in the ass. When she actually said "I told you so" to an upset Eda... seriously? That is awful. What a bitter, joyless, petty individual. I was cheering for Melo every time she told Ayfer she was negative. Good! At least we know the other characters recognize how awful she is.

(I get long winded, so this continues under the cut)

Also what was with her going overboard to protect Burak's feelings over his delusional aspirations? Why shouldn't he understand that Serkan and Eda shared a great love and Melo is rooting for them to rekindle it? What does hiding that from him do? It's still true. Ayfer treats this dude as a member of the family, so he might as well know. I get his feelings might get hurt, but dude needs a reality check and to move on, and no matter how hard Ayfer hopes, Serkan in their lives or no, Eda is never going to want Burak. She's made that clear. If Ayfer likes him so much maybe she should marry him, that way at least Melo would be saved from his milquetoast presence.

Speaking of that, they were clearly trying to establish some sort of connection or vibe between him and Melo. So far, I'm not into it. If he's still so into Eda that Ayfer doesn't want him to have to hear about Eda/Serkan possibly reuniting, then he doesn't deserve Melo. Melo deserves someone who wants her, not someone who pines after someone out of his league and then settles for her bff once he realizes he never had a shot with the great beauty. We'll see how it develops, but he has the personality of damp carpet so I don't have high hopes.

Aydan was a little screechy this episode, but I cut her some slack since she just found out these traitors stole 5 years of her granddaughter's life from her. My friend @echoapothecary made a good point to me that Aydan deserves no sympathy for this since she didn't tell Eda Serkan was alive back in amnesia times, and I don't disagree with that. That move by Aydan pretty much tainted her character forever, and it's near impossible to come back from, but viewing this story in a capsule I do feel sorry for her. She wasn't a good mother to Serkan, but she does love him, and I think she craves family. The main point being, Serkan wasn't the only one who lost something significant by not knowing about Kiraz until now, Aydan did too. Perhaps we can say that losing the first five years of her granddaughter's life is her punishment for keeping the secret about Serkan, it's about as steep a penalty as one could pay. Talk about karmic retribution.

Also, since Serkan is apparently not going to impose any emotional tolls on any of the traitors for the secret that was kept from him, I'm glad Aydan did at least make her displeasure known and made some of the liars uncomfortable. Piril, at least, felt it, even if she won't suffer any real consequences. I kind of wanted Serkan to kick her out of the company. I really don't like that character and I think every time she's on screen she just sucks the life out of the show. Engin when he's in scenes with Serkan or Eda or Melo or Aydan or Erdem = Interesting. Engin when he's with Piril = Zzzzzzz.

Pina and Kerem were cute, but to be honest I really don't care. It's inoffensive and I get that we need B, C and D storylines to fill out two hours each week, so I'm good with it, but let's be real I'm only watching for the main event.

Speaking of... now to EDSER! I actually like that Serkan walked out and drove away after hearing the truth. I can only imagine what kind of shock and betrayal he must have felt at that moment, escaping must have seemed like his best option. What I liked even more is that Eda followed him. What a relief after the last episode where she was looking for any and every excuse not to tell him and then made the nonsensical decision to flee in order to avoid it. Too many times in the past between these two pride has gotten in the way. There was a time that Eda might have thrown up her hands at him leaving and pretended like it didn't hurt, that it didn't matter. I'm so glad those days seem to be over. One of the hallmarks of season 2 has been the improved communication (sans secret) between these two and this episode took that concept to a new level.

How heartbreaking to watch Eda plead with Serkan through the door, and how double-y heartbreaking to watch Serkan sitting on the floor, head bent, clearly in emotional agony. You could feel it coming off of him. Kudos to both Hande and Kerem who KILLED IT this episode. Seriously, their best work to date. Their chemistry is always on point, but the way they flawlessly work off of one another in every scene they share, whether it's deeply dramatic or something light and romantic is truly something special to behold. That's one reason why I don't get the folks who are so hung up in hating the season 2 plotline, that they can't appreciate any of this. Because this is the point. Giving these two artists deep and challenging scenes together and opportunities to make more magic. Watching them this season is honestly a privilege and I plan on enjoying every minute of it.

Despite Serkan's emotional turmoil, it was so like him to put the blanket over her and then sit across from her sleeping form as he indulged in some more brooding. However, I really appreciate that by the morning he was ready to talk to her. That conversation was hard, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who was jarred by him saying that he would have told her to get an abortion. In light of his later confessions, I think there's a few ways to take that. I think it was in part a nod to what an emotional mess he was at the time, and in part he said it to alleviate some of her guilt. Because even a betrayed and hurt Serkan cares so much about her, and he knows what he put who through at the time. Especially because at that moment he still had no plans to tell her the truth about why he broke up with her, he was still playing the part of the man who just didn't want children. So stubborn! Thank goodness that over the course of the next 12 hours he'll change his mind about that...

On another note, how happy did it make you to see Sirius? It made me pretty happy. He lives!!!!

From the moment Eda went to his hotel room the night before to confess all the way until they met again at the hotel, Eda really did everything right in how she approached him. However, once back in Sile, she makes her first critical error. It reminded me of the Eda in episode 29 who started pushing so hard at amnesia!Serkan and coming at him with such extreme emotion that he shut down. And that's what happened during that conversation on the beach. Eda needed to give him a little bit of time to come to terms with things, instead of forcing a conversation the first moment they saw one another. Good grief, what was she doing demanding answers from him hours after he found out? She knows this man! She knows that he plans every aspect of his life. So to spring on him that you hid a child from him for 5 years and he's a dad, is a LOT. I like that in a later scene he knows he reacted badly, and actually also says to her "What did you expect?" While his reaction wasn't great, it was also pretty predictable and she should have known to give him some time.

Speaking of the conversation on the beach, what a powerhouse scene for Hande. One note on it, that was the scene they had just shot when Hande and Kerem did their last IGlive on premiere day. The one where Kerem kept talking about how he was in a mood because of an intense scene they had just done. After watching I couldn't help but note that he, as Serkan, mostly just stood there stoically as Hande did all the emoting as Eda let loose on all the pent up emotion she'd been carrying both for years and with Serkan's fresh rejection. It speaks to both their personal and professional dynamic that he was so affected by her being in that state since he didn't do the heavy lifting in that specific scene. The way they are attuned to each other is probably a big reason they are so flawlessly in sync on screen.

I liked how they weaved the Kiraz/Baba scene in at the right time. That was one instance where Aydan, Seyfi and Engin's meddling was for the good, engineering a situation where Serkan was alone with his daughter. Also excellent comedy from Can, ratting out his dad about throwing ice cream on him. Good stuff. I like Engin-as-a-father scenes, I like Engin-as-a-friend scenes, I could just do without Engin-as-a-husband scenes. Anyway, Serkan needed time to adjust, but he also needed to be exposed to Kiraz so that he could view their prior unlikely bond through the new prism of fatherhood. It's telling how easily he slid into Dad territory with teaching her how to tie her shoes. He had been doing that all along, but at that moment he knew about the relationship and still did what was natural. He is ready to be her father, he just needs to realize he's worthy of it.

You can't blame Eda for not realizing it, but it was lovely to see how quickly Serkan turned the corner. He was already adjusting his thinking not even 24 hours after he found out about Kiraz and that was really what inserting himself

into her dealings with the Italians was about. Staying in contact until he could beat back all his neurosis. As for the business stuff, she apparently needed him as an investor, but I also love the way he was there to first build up her confidence and then praise her after a successful presentation. I've said it before but Serkan as her professional mentor is one of my favorite dynamics between them. It did make me wonder, is she still 45% owner of the Holding? It seems like it, she sure didn't hesitate to present herself as his partner. If she is, though, it seems impossible that they could have had zero contact for all those years, unless she just placed her stake in a trust and gave him full voting control of it. Details I'm sure they won't explore in-depth, but I did wonder.

Don't you just love an unwitting guest character (Italian guy) who comes in and forces our two protagonists to spend extra time together? I do. Thank you Italian guy and Italian guy's wife! I love how quick Serkan was to accept, you see, he had already turned a corner and was looking for excuses to get close to her. It was his first step in his journey to opening up to her. Also, who noticed that Eda wore a slinky blue dress the night after Kiraz mentioned that it's Serkan's favorite color? Just checking. She is not as immune to his charms as she'd like us to believe...

OF COURSE Serkan was at Eda's graduation. I think pretty much the whole fandom had guessed that from their conversation in episode 40, but it still hit me emotionally to have it confirmed. What I really liked about it was that Serkan didn't tip his hand by accident. He quoted her graduation speech specifically because he wanted her to know he was there. And not only that he willingly admits that he thought of her every single day since they parted. This is a huge step for him. It has been driving him crazy that Eda thinks he forgot her and is totally unaffected by her. However, even just a few hours earlier he was still in a place where he had no intention to tell her anything, it's actually impressive how quickly he came around. Now I don't blame Eda at all for declaring it's not enough, he put her through emotional hell when they broke up. I mean on one hand you'd think she'd be able to see that he was already opening his heart and there was more to the story, however, her reaction was good because it spurred him on to go and tell her the whole story.

And what a heartbreaking story it was. As I said several times over the last few weeks, I was hoping that part of Serkan's motivation was that the doctor had told him he would be unable to have kids, what I wasn't expecting though was the double whammy of not being able to have kids AND there being a 70% chance of the cancer coming back. No wonder Serkan was eFFed up! Who wouldn't be, but then you add in his additional insecurities about not being worthy of love and his hypochondria and that is a bad mental cocktail. You know what's ironic, Ayfer hates him but in reality he did exactly what Ayfer would have wanted him to do. Push Eda away for her own good so she could have everything she wants in life without him dragging her down. What makes Ayfer the worst (and a hypocrite) is that this is exactly what she would have wanted him to do, but she also blames him for Eda's heartbreak in the aftermath.

The scene was so cathartic to watch as a viewer. We've been waiting for weeks for Serkan's point of view as he's hidden behind his usual confident and calm veneer, and when we finally got it, we really got it. He did not hold back. Serkan is such a complex character, which is a bit surprising for a silly show that you wouldn't really expect build a character with so many layers. On the surface he has everything and seems to be full of ego, but his arrogance is only surrounding his abilities, intellect, and skills as a businessman and architect. Personally, he has little self-worth and thinks he's not worthy of anyone's love, especially not Eda's. However, while that has been a truth of the character for a long time, this speech was the first time he admitted how deeply rooted his fears are. It was stunning, though, to have a character who is so rooted in being in control and who is worried about his outward image, open up in such a raw way and expose all his fears and insecurities to a woman he's been apart from for five years. It was breathtaking and Kerem was fantastic in the scene.

Initially, with the subtitles, I misinterpreted (though I knew it couldn't be quite right) his parting words. The subtitles I saw made it seem like Serkan was saying "Don't say you forgot me" as in Serkan didn't want Eda to say she forgot him. But it made so much more sense when I saw it translated as "But don't say I forgot you." which was a throw back to their dinner conversation in episode 40 when Eda says, "You forgot me." Once I realized Serkan was saying that he couldn't handle her thinking, or say, that he'd forgotten her, the scene hit doubly hard!

I saw some criticism of that scene that said Eda was just standing there with no emotion, but I didn't get that at all. She had tears running down her face and I thought she was fighting for his soul pretty dang hard. First by using both emotion-- telling him that everything had changed because now he had a daughter and that he'd locked his heart and soul in a cage. Then by using logic-- when she told him the cancer is gone and that's it's over and when she challenged him over why everything has to be perfect. Think from her perspective how disorienting it would be to find out that everything you thought was true, was not, and that if the love of your life wasn't such a stubborn, selfless, self-sabotaging martyr that you could have built a family together instead of been separated for 5 years. It's a lot.

On the first watch this doorway scene is where I started to get emotional, but I didn't really lose it and fully cry until Serkan's scene the next day with Engin. For whatever reason that scene hit me hard. Hats off to Anil for his work there, the way his voice broke at times during that conversation really got to me. This type of true friendship scene was something that was sorely missing during the era of the other writers, and it was wonderful to see it back, just when Serkan needed it most. Serkan needed someone to shake him a bit about his fears of dying. I think the writers did a good job here, because while Serkan's neurosis and self-sabotage is maddening, with his history it's believable that he was stuck in a headspace where he really thought he couldn't be a father to Kiraz, or a partner to Eda, because he might up and die on them. I loved how Engin pointed out that Eda and Kiraz would not be the only ones affected if he died and how ridiculous it was for him to lock himself away.

I'm glad we got the scene with the doctor to really get a full glimpse of Serkan's view of his illness and it's also a relief to not only Serkan, but to us viewers that since five years have passed cancer-free he now has the risk of a typical healthy person. Serkan isn't the only one who has hang ups about his health, I think after amnesia and cancer viewers do too!

Finding out that Eda had made videos specifically for Serkan over the years, talking to him directly, hit hard. I wasn't really expecting that. I thought maybe she just had general photos and videos, like any doting parent would have, but the fact that she was always wanting him, documenting Kiraz's life and preparing for a day when he would hopefully take his place as Kiraz's father... wow. On the cynical side it makes it that much harder to believe that she never made more of an effort to tell him once Kiraz was born, but I won't focus on that. Not when the scene was as perfect as it was. Kerem again was stellar, he made me cry buckets. I think since amnesia many of us wanted an emotional response from him, thank goodness this story finally delivered it. The emotions running through him at that moment were overwhelming and Kerem did a fantastic job of portraying all of them, the heartbreak over everything he missed, the joy at seeing moments

from his daughter's life, the regret of not being there and being the partner Eda needed, the pride in the job Eda did in raising their daughter alone, and finally the bittersweet relief that Eda never forgot him.

It was a lot, but it was a good segue to the next scene when Eda calls him frantic because Kiraz went missing. What was clear from those videos was that while Eda, when we first meet her in Sile, appeared on the surface to have everything handled as a single mom, she always really wanted to have Serkan there as her partner. While Kiraz was pining for her dad, Eda was pining for Serkan as well. And we see this displayed in full force when Serkan arrives. Several people try to comfort Eda, including Burak, but she's not having it. However, as soon as Serkan gets there you can almost see the relief hit her in a wave. She's not in this alone anymore. Kiraz's father is there to help. Even if nothing is settled at that moment, she knows she can rely on Serkan and that he will know what to do. Which is supported by the fact that he clearly took charge the moment he found out, calling the authorities, having them begin searches etc.

But while highlighting his competence, conversely can we talk about how incompetently everyone else was at searching for Kiraz? They all acted worried, but did any of them make any real effort to find her? LMAO, they all seemed much more concerned with their own personal dramas. Especially egregious were Engin and Piril. Hello! Your son is clearly trying to tell you where the missing person is! Stop ignoring him. Thank goodness Serkan is very good at finding people.

Of course he found her and our hearts collectively shattered as we watched her trying to send a message to her Baba in space when in reality he was kneeling right there beside her, helping her tie the note to the balloon. If anything else was left to convince Serkan that he is wanted and needed, by both Eda and Kiraz, this situation was it. Even though some careless crew member spoiled the astronaut suit in an unnecessary IG story from the set, (that would have been a really good surprise) it was still satisfying to see this fairy tale play out. Never over "Baba?" and "Happy Birthday, my daughter" and now I can't wait to see Kiraz's reaction that her new friend Serkan Bolat is actually her dad and it should be pretty great to watch the three of them form a family together.

Overall this was the most emotional episodes of the series, and also one of the best.

JUST DO IT! | booseoksoon

word count: 1280

platonic!seokmin , platonic!soonyoung , platonic!seungkwan

It all started with a FaceTime. Seeing Seokmin's name, you answered immediately — he was your best friend, after all. The smile he had slipped from his face at your frown.

"Sweetheart is pouting." Is all he said before he was joined by two more boys. Soonyoung was copying his wondering frown, and Seungkwan was simply staring at you. Seokmin narrowed his eyes, "are you sad?"

"No," you sighed, "I'm not sad."

"I think you're lying," Soonyoung added his input.

"I'm not!"

Seungkwan stayed quiet, just observing you. It made you nervous — he was always able to read you better than the other two. "You are," he finally said. "Tell us how to make it better."

"There's nothing to make better," you tried to reassure them. In reality, though, your bad days had piled on top of each other and now you were just drowning. You avoided their eyes, staring down at your hands as you spoke again. "I'm okay, guys."

It grew quiet once more. Seungkwan knew you better than that — all three of them did. So, he signaled to the other two to get their shoes on before he turned his attention to you. "Get dressed, we'll be there soon."

—

You thought you'd be getting ice cream — that's what usually happened when one of you were in a bad mood. So, seeing neon lights and hearing a giggling crowd was a little strange to you.

You blinked, facing Seungkwan curiously. "Was this your idea?"

He grinned, bouncing on his feet. "You need to have fun!" He grabbed your wrist, so you grabbed Soonyoung's who grabbed Seokmin's, leading the four of you to trail into the building like a train.

A skating rink — you were taken to a skating rink and had a pair of roller blades sat next to you. You pursed your lips in thought, watching the way people skated before looking to your friends. Seokmin had just put his skates on, wobbling as he tip-toed his way to you. Soonyoung soon followed him and they kneeled in front of you.

You smiled, "I can put those on by myself, you know."

"Yeah," Seungkwan said with a grin, "they know."

"You deserve to be treated like royalty!"

"Your royal highness Y/N, please grant us this one wish and allow us to help you with your skates!"

You were snorting now, eyes squeezed shut as laughter left your lips. Soonyoung looked to the other boys with a smile as he laced your left skate, happy to see you were smiling instead of frowning.

"There we go!" Seokmin said as he tightened your right skate. Seungkwan held his hand out to help you stand — you replied by holding your free hand out and started the four person train once again. The four of you ended up on the smooth linoleum, Seokmin letting out a little gasp. "Okay, now I'm panicking."

The overhead lights bounced off of the disco ball, setting up a colorful and joyful scene. There were nervous giggles that echoed from the four of you, feet slipping and sliding as the skates rolled on the ground. Seungkwan almost slipped in front of you, letting his arms out for balance as you cackled.

From behind you, Soonyoung squeezed your hand tightly. "I take it back! This was not a good idea!"

"Lighten up," you glanced back at him with a grin. Seokmin copied your smile, Soonyoung returning it warily. He stumbled lightly, a panicked and embarrassed flush spreading on his cheeks at your giggle. "What could be more fun than the four of us having matching bruises?"

Seokmin let out a sigh, "literally anything." He kept his tense grin, though, when you turned to glare at him.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this!" Seungkwan cheered in front of you. However, he celebrated too quickly. His right foot knocked into his left, causing a domino effect as you all fell one-by-one. Seungkwan blinked owlishly, "I lied."

"Okay," you struggled to get up, "let's take a break." You attempted to skate off, being stopped by three pairs of hands wrapping around your legs. You let out a snort, "you guys suck, let me go!"

Soonyoung latched onto your knee, hands shaky as he stumbled and tumbled, trying his best to stand. "Wait, wait, wait," he spoke through panicked giggles.

Finally, after what felt like an endless time capsule of hysteric laughter and wobbling legs, the four of you were sat in a booth. As soon as he could, Seungkwan shoved his skates off of his feet, socks scraping against your calf reassuringly.

Seungkwan let out a sigh, leaning back in exhaustion. "I deserve a milkshake."

"And cheese fries!" Seokmin added.

You nodded, humming in agreement before sharing a glimpse with Soonyoung. In unison, you both spoke — "and candy."

There was a pause as the four of you looked at each other. Pursing your lips, you glared at them for a moment. Any second, you thought, one, two— "Not it!"

Seokmin froze, eyes wide as he was the last one to speak. He cursed, looking at the three of you who were grinning. He narrowed his eyes with a pout, "I need one of you jerks to help me, you know. Can't carry everything by myself!"

It went quiet again as you lowered yourself further into your seat. Not me, you thought. Not it, not it, not it. "Fine," Soonyoung sighed out with an eye-roll, "I'll do it. Brats."

You hummed along to the song that was playing in the rink, eyes wandering around and sticking to the ever-changing lights. You could feel Seungkwan's eyes on you, but you didn't bring it up. If he wants to talk, he will.

Finally, his thoughts seemed to explode in his mind as he spoke up. "Feeling better?"

"I was feeling fine to begin with."

"Y/N," his tone was stern.

"Seungkwan."

"Bad days are okay to have, you know." Seungkwan nudged your shoulder lightly. He tilted his head, fighting to get your eyes to meet. When you refused to look at him, he let out a sigh. "Hey, look at me."

You let out a sigh, your eyes linking to his. Seungkwan smiled reassuringly, wrapping his arm  around your shoulders to tug you closer. "It's okay to ask for help — to need a shoulder to lean on."

"If that was a joke, it wasn't a funny one," you pouted. Truthfully, though, you were beyond grateful for your three friends. You couldn't imagine how gray your world would be without them — how dreary and foggy your mind would be without a hand reaching out to you.

You didn't have to say any of this, of course. Seungkwan — along with Soonyong and Seokmin — already knew by your soft eyes and gentle smile how thankful you were for them.

A loud huff brought you from your thoughts. The table in front of you was covered at once, snacks and drinks galore being piled on top of each other. Seokmin let out another huff, plopping back into the seat across from you.

Soonyoung soon followed, a sour candy straw already in his mouth. At yours and Seungkwan's wide eyes, he shrugged. "They were having a sale."

A glance, that was all it took. The two of you dissolved into laughter, leaning into each other as gasps left your mouth. Seungkwan had tears dripping down his face, his body shaking with absent laughs. What Soonyoung said wasn't that funny — but it was funny enough.

Yeah, you thought as you looked around the booth. A smile had settled onto your face permanently as you watched your three friends. I would be drowning in my mind without them. With the smiles they returned, you knew they felt the same way.

— i havent been skating in so long wow- i hope this was alright! slowly getting used to writing again, and its a slower journey than id like. ive started up a blog for girl goup imagines — strawberryhmilk — if youd be interested in that!! thank you for reading, ♡ 

Five.

1. I secured my year end bonus so I decided to take myself to breakfast and do some early shopping because I'm old AF.

2. Met with my cardiologist who told me he doesn't need to see me. All clear. Another victory.

3. I finished watching the Beatles documentary on Disney+ last night and it was fascinating. An interesting time capsule in the lives of musicians that had lost the passion of creating art together.

4. I have been changing routines. Clearing out the clutter in my brain. Looking around a little more. Paying attention to detail. Paying attention to myself.

5. It's funny how the universe works. There is no clear path. There are so many individual stories and you're really fortunate if you can absorb just a few of them.

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic  during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Dreamshaper

Dreamshaper has 54 stories at Gossamer. Her stories often feature Mulder and Scully exploring their feelings in ways you really, really wish you could’ve seen on the show. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Found in Memory, Just By Existing, Purpose, and Promise. Big thanks to Dreamshaper for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I'm not at all surprised people are still reading X-Files fanfic! There's a deep catalogue of good and interesting fiction there, and the X-Files still has cultural significance. And of course there were the recent seasons to bring it back to mind. I think if you had asked me in 2000, I might not have supposed that it had this kind of staying power. So now I'm thinking of this interview as a time capsule--what will my answer be in 2040?

My own fic was not designed to have staying power. If anyone is reading it now, bless them, they are kind and patient. I would only recommend probably reading the first and last things I posted just to see what kind of growth is possible. The first time I ever posted fic, someone told me to never write again. I was a teenager. I was crushed but I went on writing anyway, and I worked hard to improve.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I think of two things. As for the show itself, I still think of Mulder/Scully as the ultimate in romance. I can still picture certain moments from the episodes, from the movie. I look for pairings with tension that reminds me of theirs--an almost-regency level of UST, but with a modern element of danger.

As for the fandom itself, I grew up in it. My entire online life and the core of how I participate in fandom was formed here. I was 17 or so when I started writing and posting MSR. I was 18 or 19 when I started meeting fans in real life. I was fortunate enough to fall in with people who were equal parts gracious and nerdy, and while my own nerdiness is innate, I remember and emulate the kindness which was shown to me.

I have an entire side post to this question about how strongly I disagree with the current age stratification in fandom--this idea of not interacting across artificial age divides is tragic to me.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

ATXC, and mailing lists. I don't actually remember the names of all the mailing lists! I can picture myself sitting in my kitchen on my computer, and what the emails looked like--the font, the signature lines--but not the names. I can even remember specific conversations we had! One of them must have been Scullyfic, because I remember the first meetup being planned. Is that right? Was it the Scullyfic meetup? [Lilydale note: Probably was Scullyfic. There was a big email flurry when the first Scullyfic mailing list meetup was being planned.] My mind was absolutely blown by the idea of a fan con. Now I've led panels at a dozen of them.

I remember some of the arguments, too. It's funny that some of them are the same arguments I still see here and there, like whether or not criticism of a fanwork is valid. Real Person Fic being this unbelievably shameful thing you had to ask to be shown, and the doyennes of the fandom would have given you the cut direct at Almack's if they'd found out, you know?

This was also the era of AIM and ICQ. mIRC too, right? I spent a lot of time in channels. I absolutely loved when people started to be more open about themselves in chats. I was always so interested in how fandom fit into people's lives. Some people I talked to were moms, college students, people who had interesting careers, and they all just found ways to make fandom work for them. They had a need and were meeting it, despite the pressures of their offline life.

I don't know how to explain the impression that made on me, but--it normalized fandom. That seems obvious, maybe, but I hadn't known this was something you could integrate into your everyday life.

It also normalized the idea of women taking their own needs as primary, in a way that went beyond what I was exposed to in my home life, or through the feminism of the 1990s. There was this wild intersection of the--the domestic and intellectual life of women, and the playful life of women, just making itself known to me in a way I'd never seen before. That was enormous. Absolutely a foundational experience for me.

My experience was that ATXC and email lists were like, these surface-level interactions where people figured out, roughly, if your mind ran on a similar track to theirs, and then you were invited to make deeper relationships in more private corners of the internet. Social media filled both functions at once, I think, for a while. But the privacy was missing. I'm not surprised that Slack and Discord are starting to fill that private corner gap--everything old becomes new, etc.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

UST and monsters. This is still an unbeatable combination for me!

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I loved romance novels--I read so many of them. Somehow, before we even had a computer at home, I started to tell myself romance novel stories with Mulder and Scully as the lead characters. This was how I talked myself to sleep--I wasn't a good sleeper. Then when I got online and did whatever search led me to ATXC, I was just shocked. Shocked! Can't do the surprise justice, in this era where fanfic is relatively mainstream. Other people had also independently invented this thing I loved! But they wrote their ideas down! I jumped on the bandwagon immediately.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

It's like my relationship to my childhood, frankly. Foundational, but I don't think about it all that much on a daily basis, right? I smile and reblog gif sets. I get nostalgic. I get embarrassed by social mistakes I made. I feel the way many of us do about memories from our teenage years. I wouldn't be who I was without it, but I'm not still in it.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I was. I've spent 20 years in fandom! I did some beta work for someone who'd started writing slash--The Sentinel. The actual Sentinel, not just an endless loop of Sentinel AUs based on Sentinel AUs based on etc. I had some idea at the time that I was queer, but this was my first real exposure to romances that weren't straight. So I tore my way through the early 2000s slash fandoms as they developed: The Sentinel, Due South, Stargate Atlantis. Popslash, where a mix of good writing and absurdity ruled. Bandom, where I met my wife. Since then, many smaller fandoms.

It's hard to compare any of these things to each other, let alone to the X-Files. In each one, I was lucky enough to find a circle of women who were strong beta readers and good friends. I never wrote as much or for as long as I did in the X-Files.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I watched the new episodes. I've shown friends important episodes--I remember that a few years ago, another friend and I tried to hook a third friend on the show by binging some favorites--mostly shippy MOTW, so it was like, Arcadia, Triangle, Bad Blood. Fun stuff!

We finish watching and I'm like, well? And? And she says, that was fine, but I'm more of a man-pain, secret babies kind of person? I'll never forget it. She had no idea but she'd hit the nail on the head! We were wheezing with laughter. We went back and watched mytharc episodes, which was much less fun for me, but much more interesting to her.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don't read X-Files fic often. I look at new things sometimes, and I've reread a few old classics, but my reading taste has changed so much. I still love straight romance, but it needs to be fast and sharp in a way that is hard to find.

I read fic in other fandoms when I have time. In the past few years, I've finished a degree, had a daughter, renovated a small Victorian and then sold it and bought another one during this pandemic--so time has been short. Currently I read some Untamed fic, some Good Omens fic, Magicians, Schitt's Creek...a sampler. Whatever friends are writing, whatever they recommend.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I never have a favorite of my own fics. I'm never satisfied. The second I post something, I'm always full of regrets. I've written fics that did very well and still hated them a month later. People have asked me over the years to move more of my stuff off Livejournal and onto ao3, but I do it really reluctantly and only by specific request. Everything's ephemeral! Let the old works diminish, and go into the West!

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I have no oldies to dust off. I do periodically think of X-Files stories I would tell, but I don't have enough time for current interests--and so it goes.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do. I was most recently writing in The Magicians fandom. I posted a couple new stories in an old fandom last year--I'd written Good Omens fic fifteen years ago, and then again for the Amazon adaptation. I have a pile of original novels in various stages of completion, but I'm never happy with them. One day I'll figure myself out, perhaps, or I'll just keep writing myself this and that and leaving it all in a drawer.

What's the story behind your pen name?

So AOL had a character limit for user names--I think it was 10. I was a teenager at the time I was coming up with the one I'd use for fandom, so I went with Dreamshaper. It was kind of literal, in the sense that I was going to share the stories I'd been telling myself to help me sleep. But the character limit meant I went with Dreamshpr, which I later liked because of the alternate reading of Dream*shipper*. A reminder to the younger fans that we were the original shippers!

I would also come up with new pen names when I wanted to experiment with a fic that didn't fit my usual style. I don't remember any of them. I probably did that a dozen times, so, sorry to those poor completely abandoned stories.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Giddygeek on tumblr and ao3. I'm most active on twitter, but largely about my domestic life with dips into fandoms or original writing; message me on tumblr if you're an old friend who'd like to reconnect elsewhere.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just gratitude--I'm so glad that I found people to share an obsession with, and that they were good people, at a time in my life where that made a significant difference to me. I don't know where I'd be now without my time and my growth in this fandom!

(Posted by Lilydale on December 22, 2020)

Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: “Morpholomew” (American Dragon Long): Stop Trying to Make Am Drag a Thing (Commisson Done For WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a brand new retrospective/story arc/thing from yours truly, comissoned directly by WeirdKev27. If you’d like to comission your own review or set of reviews like this one, it’s 5 bucks. Just contact me via my ask box or direct messages on this very blog or my discord technicolormuk#6550.

With Shadow Into Light in the books, Kev decided he wanted to comission something not duck related and a bit smaller as a buffer before the next big arc, ALL of three arcs from season 2 of Ducktales, and decided to go with something he suggested to be a while back as a possible future retrospective: The Lilo and Stitch Crossover episodes! 

That’s right for the next three weeks, with TWO reviews this week since I had a spot open up and Kev paid for this one in full and way in advance, we’ll be taking a trip to Hawaii to visit everyone’s faviorte little girl, her best friend/pet/killing machine as they try to find homes for his 625 cousins. 

I loved Lilo and Stitch when I was a kid: Disney admitely got their hooks in me on that one with their cool prequel comics in disney adventures. These comics set up the movie, showing Jumba creating Stitch and the events leading up to both getting captured. The movie did not disapoint with cool character designs, a drop dead gorgeous recreation of Hawaii, and a really heartfelt, heartbreaking and heartpumping story of loss, family, and ving rahmes voicing one of the few heroic child services workers i’ve seen in a medium, a refreshing change of pace. The film is a masterpiece and I really do need to watch it again sometime. 

Given the series was a huge hit and that thsi was before the big lull in the late 2000′s and early 2010′s where Disney refused to make any tv shows based on their movies, a series followed, given a lead in by the direct to video movie Stitch.

The movie set up the basic premise; 624 capsules containing Jumba’s previous experiments, cousins as Stitch calls them, ended up raining over Kauai, awakening when dropped into water or any other liquid. Lilo and Stitch, with help from Jumba, his live in boyfriend Pleakley, her tought but fair sister Nani, and her boyfriend David, who dosen’t show up as much as i’d like but is my boy so he gets a mention here. But anyways our heroes try to reform the various engines of distructoin who all have unique powers and find them their one place they truly belong. 

So yes the show was a Mons-type show clearly captalizing off pokemon.. but the slice of life setting as opposed to the shonen style of most shows following in pokemon’s wake, gave it it’s own unique feel: while our heroes did fight, it was more about shenanigans, adventures and what not with these unique creatures and the purpose is very heartflet: Lilo simply wants to give these guys the same kind of love and support she’s given Stitch and a chance to do good. 

Opposing them is Gantu, the shark bounty hunter from the first film who, now out of a job, is working for Dr. Hamstervile, an imprisoned sceintest and a character I really don’t like that much as he’s not funny or a genuine threat or both and feels like a waste of time. Thankfully he’s not the focus and Gantu is instead partnered with 625, my faviorite Lilo and Stitch character. 625, as the name suggests, is stitch’s immediate prototype.. but unlike Stitch is too lazy and peaceful to be a real threat and isn’t even really a villian despite being on Gantu’s side. He’s busy making samwitches, his calling to the point when he gets a name in the finale movie it’s naturally Ruben, and snarking at gantu. He’s sadly not in this one but hopefully it’s JUST this one. 

As you can tell I liked this show a LOT at the time. I haven’t watched it since, mostly because disney scarely replayed it after it’s run, but it was vibrant, fun and intresting and a nicely laidback and creative take. The fact I came into the franchise with the comics and thus 625, who was introduced there in fact, and had a hunger to know more about the other experiments certainly helped. It was great fun. 

But while I grew up with the show and the four shows it teamed up with, i’ve never seen these episodes before these reviews. I wondered why for years as I caught the tail end of the kim possible one and saw images ocasionally, but never saw them. 

Turns out it’s because in general Season 2 got screwed over. While Season 1 was pushed out the door fast and aired at a rapid pace Season 2.. was portioned out over several years, and the Recess crossover one, the last one aired and the last one i’ll be covering never even got to Disney channel, only airing on ABC kids, DIsney’s saturday morning block at the time I rarely watched. I did watch it’s predecessor one saturday morning though. Good stuff. 

Since I couldn’t find any making of stuff for why these episodes happened, my best guess is DIsney wanted some cross promotion, and the shows used were chosen because they were the most popular at the time and honestly all 4 represent some of disney’s best, with Recess being in heavy reruns at the time, hence i’ts conclusion despite the show being finished before Lilo And Stitch the movie came out, let alone the series. 

So yeah i’m taking this ride for the first time.. but I was happy to. While Kev pays for a lot of my work, I still have to accept the idea.. and this was a great one. It allows me to cover 5 amazing series and gage how much people would want to see reviews of said series on this blog in one fell swoop.

So to kick us off we have American Dragon: Jake Long, a series I waited forever to come to Disney + as I loved it at the time, badly need to rewatch it (Been busy ), and find it genuinely great: It’s a great teen superhero story about the magical protector of new york, with a charming lead, a great setting and horrifcally great villians in the violently racist magic creature hunting huntsclan.. and their top agent who happens to be jake’s love intrest Rose. It’s really excellent and i’m glad it’s now widely avaliable for all to see. I will say ahead that all four shows in this crossover arc are excellent, and were fine choices for this. 

So what happens when an action comedy about a hip hop teenage dragon meets a slice of life show about aliens? Find out under the cut. 

So we open at a fancy hotel where Lilo’s bringing lunch to her sister Nani when she runs into.. Keoni Jameson. 

The second I remembered this kid all the hate just came flooding back, coursing through my veigns. Just pure liquid hatred for this little perosnalitiless little punk. Keoni is Lilo’s crush and local “stupid white audience stand in”. He has no real personality other than “generic cool kid” and “likes skating”, and just sucks the air out of the room anytime he’s in an episode. Keoni is part of a recurring problem in cartoons across the ages, one that’s slowly going away: the bland love intrest. Intorducing a character whose only traits are being cool for the lead to fawn over with usually no intent of either getting the two togehter or just ending it. IT’s annoying, it was in a good chunk of my childhood, I wish it’d stop. I cannot tell you how many shows used this trope. There were exceptions, American Dragon Jake Long actually used it well by not only making Rose a fleshed out character..  but making her jake’s nemisis in their other lives, and thus making things increidbly difficult on both once the truth comes out, with Jake grappling with if he can trust her or not and Rose grappling with the slow relization eveyrthing she was taught her whole life was wrong.

And again I have seen GOOD storylines using this as a tool: Dipper and Wendy ended with her having been aware teh whole time, but simply not knowing how to let him down given the age gap, and Regular Show rebounded the best from it: it turned the stop and start relatoinshpi of Mordecai and Margret’s relationship into a character flaw for him, openly explored it.. and ended up having him work past it and actually date her for a bit. Before she moved away, he got an even better love interest, then they destoryed the relationship in the worst way posisble and I wil lbe getting to that at some point. Some point. 

So yeah even at the time it was done better, hindsight haas only made it worse and it made watching the first few minutes tough because I had to keep pasuing because I hate him so damn much. He just adds NOTHING to the show and is a blank yanwing void from which no good came out of and I was terrified he’d be in the rest of the episode. Thankfully while he drives the plot he’s only in this scene.. but it’s still one more scene than both 625 and Pleakly got. yeah both are missing, as is nani. 

I did uncover one fun fact that made things a bit easier though: The crew ALSO hated Keoni. No really. Disney forced the character on them as they wanted an audience surrogate, and this abomination is what popped out. They DID NOT want him here and likely only used him as mcuh as they did because Disney forced it on them. And Disney would NOT learn from this as Star Vs got saddled with Alphonso and Ferguson soley because of network mandate. The two aren’t TERRIBLE characters but they aren’t great and feel as tacked on as they were. And part of this does fall on the crew: you CAN twist a stupid mandate like this to work well: Joe Murray was asked to add “A female character with a hook”, as in some sort of dumb gimmick to Rocko. He used those words, meant to create a superfical girl power cardboard cutout.. and created the wonderful Dr. Hutchenson, a bright cheery doctor, the series best sidecharacter.. and someone with a hook hand. But I won’t go too hard on them: they probably didn’t have as much room to manuver and the fact Keoni was sitll being shoved into episodes in season 2 tells me they likely had a set number of episodes he had to show up. I’m suprised they didn’t demand they have characters ask “Where’s Keonie?” any time he wasn’t in an episode. He was unecessary and it comes across with a massive chunk of unforutnate implications: that they didn’t think a series with a mostly hawaiann cast would work, that they wanted at least one other “nice” white character to offset myrtle instead of having the only major white character be a bully and antagonist, and that they thought tehir mostly white audience coudln’t enjoy a series without a white character, which as someone who was in the target demo at the time, I call bullshit on. As I said I hated him then, I hate him now and his involvement is the worst aspect of this episode. 

So after Lilo fawns over him for a bit we find out this chonk of wood’s purpose in the episode: to set up the plot. There’s a massive Skate Competition coming to town with the prize being a really cool skateboard.  This plot point itself.. I don’t mind. Jake is a skater, it’s part of his character and one of the things he loves doing in what minsicule spare time he has. And while it was a common trope at the time having a character skateboard really dosen’t harm most works. We’ve gotten great characters like Jake, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Branwen and Ronnie Anne Santiago out of it, and it feels like natural parts of the character, and frankly An Extremley Goofy Movie wouldn’t be NEARLY as awesome without having skateboarding bizzarley attached to the plot via the college x-games. Granted somtimes you get Rocket Power out of the deal but that’s the price you pay for the good stuff. I only regret it’s involved because Keoni has to be there and I had to pause multiple times to get through his scene. He’s just a sampler platter of terrible decisions made in 2000′s cartoons and he irritates me more than this guy. 

And anyone whose read my Loud House reviews can tell you that is a high bar to clear. 

So naturally Lilo wants to enter the Hawiann X-Games to get the board for Keoni. Though I will give the writers credit for having Stitch voice their thoughts and the audiences thoughts by having him take Keoni’s picture and throw it in the garbage. Where he belongs. 

Lilo’s not great at it as they practice.. and said practice naturally ends up waking up a new experiment, 316.. who i’m just going to go ahead and call Morpholomew. Stitch eventually catches him though like many of the experiments he’s not actively malevelolent and is easy enough to get home. 

Jumba gets to his schitck of breaking down what the experiment of the week does: In this case Morpholomew is  a shapeshifter though he has a VERY intresting twist on those powers: while he can naturally morph himself into anything he’s seen or has a picture of, he can do the same to anyone he touches. It dosen’t effect their voices, but otherwise it’s a perfect recreation. 

So Lilo instead of finding him a home right away.. decides to wait until after the compettition because we need him for the plot. 

So at the Skateboard Competittion Lilo tries to enter, but finds she’s too young.. but since she has a picture of Keoni, which is a nice way to use her photo hobby from the movie for plot reasons and thus dosen’t feel like an ass pull. Why Keoni’s not in town to skate is as his dad left because it’d be too crowded.. even though the event is at the resort he owns. 

So while Lilo commits identtity theft, our guest star appears. He’s cool, he’s hot like a frozen son, he’s young and fast he’s the chosen one, people i’m not braggin, i’ts the American Dragon. Jake is here for two reasons: the first is that Grandpa Long got reports of magical creatures out in the open, so naturally they need to look into that. It’s a clever way to get him, along with Grandpa, Fu, Trixie and Spud, over to Hawaii. The Dragon Council would defintely be suspcious hearing about this, and my guess to why they hadn’t sent another dragon over is they simply dont’ have one on the islands. As for why the Huntsclan didn’t get involved in any way, it’s simply too public for them.  With the magical community in new york, they don’t have to worry about exposure because neither side wants it, so neither side can out the other. Here with a bunch of creatures out in the open it runs the risk of the Hunstclan being dragged into the light.. and given the populace dosne’t care about the “magical creatures” alongside them, it would make them look like the monsters they are. 

Spud and Trixie tagging along also makes sense besides “they needed them for the plot”: While they’d obviously want to come to Hawaii, the skate competition is likely Jake’s cover for why he’s there, as well as one for why it’s just him and grandpa going with a couple of his friends so they don’t have to deal with manuvering around jake’s dad. That sad them never TELLING jake’s Dad is it’s own can of worms as it feels cruel, made things harder for jake and there was no real reason not to. At worst he’d want Jake to stop for his own saftey but given ther’es an active threat in  the huntsclan for the first season and a half, NOT helping people would be the right thing and I feel he’s a sensible enough man to understand eventually. 

And it’s stuff like this that already makes this crossover really work for me: they don’t really have to strain to get Jake over there or tell the audience heavily, the blanks fill in themslves. Or I am but that’s because it’s my job and I love doin it. 

So everyone goes off to their corners; Jake to do a few practice runs, Foo Dog to bet on his friend because of course, Trixie and Spud to go to the beach (even though Spud’s terrified of sharks so I question why Trixie needs him for this), and in a delightfully adorable subplot, finds a lady to woo: local fruit stand vendoer and crankly old lady Mrs. Hasagawa. 

I am here for this subplot: While Grandpa not focusing on the mission is weird for him that’s the entire point.. and their just really cute together. He’s smitten with her entirely because he sees her chewing out one of the people running the contest for making her sign too small. And he performs one hell of a romantic gesture by, while everyone’s back is turned, using his dragon fire to make an add for her on the skate ramp itself, and they have a lovely montage of their time together.. which also weirdly includes grandpa using his dragon fire on stage inf ront of everyone which makes no sense for his charcter but is so cute and does feature david I really don’t care. The writers of Lilo and Stitch probably weren’t deeply familiar with the show and likely just wanted a fun gag. Could be wrong there but it’s cute. He continues to act grossly out of character by trying to avoid going home at the end.. but again I find it simply because he’s in love, they have genuine chemstiry and I like to think they stayed in touch and he retired out there at some point once Jake was old enough to handle things himself. This may not be a ship I expected to support going in but I will die for it going out. 

So back to the main plot, Lilo uses Keoni’s body to imitate him which... she’s only loosely called out on and realizes is bad by the end only because she gets stuck in another body. And that’s not even getting into the fact she BREAKS UP WITH KEONI’S GIRLFRIEND. Yes really.. she just does that to get her out of the way. She comes around and realizes she was wrong and tries to fix it which would be fine.. if hte episode didn’t try to cop it out by revealing “Oh she’s not his girlfriend, she’s just someone who keeps telling people that”. It just feels lazy and dumb and a way to keep Lilo’s crush on Keoni for reasons I DO. NOT. GET. But the identity theft is just brushed aside by everyone: Keoni never finds out, and Jake just brushes it off. The real issue is more her trying to bribe keoni into likng her which while something kids need to learn is not the only thing she did wrong here. It feels like they didn’t think all the implications out here and it hampers the episode

Speaking of which as Gantu captures Jake, he sees him transform into dragon mode and assumes he’s the experiment, Jake’s charactization is pretty shallow.  And why yes it DOES feel weird writing sentences about a character with the same name thank you for asking. I wasn’t expecting a deep character piece or anything: This is a guest spot, the writers here are not the same normal ones for American Dragon. That’s fine. The problem.. is that they clearly did not get Jake. Grandpa being partly out of character is half the joke, Trixie actually gets a really nice moment towards the end, and Spud.. is eh. But out of them Jake just feels like a basic character description: He likes hip hop, he likes skateboards, he calls himself Am Drag despite that sounding like a good name for a drag act but a terrible name to shorten your title, he fights.. that’s it. 

While jake is all of that in the main series, he’s also a kind young man who while sometimes irresponsible does the right thing when the chips are down.  He’s someone weighed down by a responsiblity he didn’t ask for, often makes his life more difficult and often finds himself in trouble because his mother and grandfather won’t bother to tell his dad he’s a dragon. Yes that part still bothers me, and I don’t see why we couldn’t just have a superhero show where both parents know. But regardless this just dosen’t feel like Jake , like they just watched the intro and that was it. Jake feels more like a plot device in his own crossover. 

That being said there is some good stuff: The minute Jake realizes some Sci Fi stuff is going on instead of hte normal magic stuff he tells him “The am drag’s show isn’t about sci fi” a nice meta bit and then breaks out. Meanwhile Lilo takes on his form.. and ends up stuck after badly botching her run again, as Gantu finds the real shapeshifter. 

We get the best stretch of the episode from here though: Lilo awkardly tries to play jake and like jake we get a nice meta nod to how diffrent their show is as she’s worried about his belief in magical creatures.. and is startled out of her charade when Foo Dog talks, a really nice bit especially since it’s tame compared to the weirdness he deals with. Spud and Trixie have questions... only for Jake to show up and his agressive behavior leads to the best bit of the episode: Jake Vs Stitch. The catlyst is understandable: jake has no idea why Lilo’s taken his identity and Sttich is just protecting his best friend from harm. The animation is fluid, the fight is fun and quick and uses both’s powers stellarl. Whle “two heroes get into a misunderstanding and then fight” is a well worn cliche at this point, it’s moments like this that show why: you get to see two heroes who in this case never have interacted before or sense, duke it out, why each is special and it’s fun to watch. 

Lilo breaks it up, and admits to the whole thing.. including the whole give Keani the board stuff. While Jake and Spud, being awkard with girls and a loveable moron don’t see the problem with that Trixie gets a moment to shine. As far as I can remember she really didn’t get much on the show proper so it was a nice suprise to see her mentor lilo her, telling her trying to give someone gifts to love you is not okay, she should just be herself all that good stuff. It’s a nice character stuff and tha’ts the kind of character interaction this episode needed more of. 

With the misunderstandings washed away our heroes team up and storm gantu’s ship leading to another great sequence as Stitch rides on Jake’s back while the two keep him busy and Lilo gets turned back, Trixie complimenting her dress “Thanks I have 10 just like it at home”. It’s such a sweet and genuine moment” They head back out and gantu semeingly grabs morpholmew from where they hide.. only to find out when he gets back it’s spud, our adorable little blob monster transforming Gantu into a bunny and our heroes leaving. How does Gantu get out of being a bunny?

But it’s a nice enough gag. So we end the episode. We get another nice gag as grandpa had himself and his lady transformed to try and avoid going home, and Jake is fine with having lost out on the board what matters is he made a friend. Sadly we did not get a followup in ADJL., but spud does name our experiment, Morpholomew. 

We end on Morph getting his home: a costume shop where he gets paid in fried chicken, he was shown to enjoy it throughtout the episode and changes people into things. It’s a nice little button to the episode and one of the funnest parts of the show was figuring out where the experiment would end up at the end. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is a really mixed bag. There is some good character interactions, two tremendous fight scens and Trixie gets a chance to shine for once if only for a scene or two, and the clashing genres end up making for some great jokes> The shows do go well together as while Lilo and Stitch is more laid back both have slice of life elements. And hasgawa X Grandpa is just oto cute for words. 

The episode is held back by Jake and Lilo’s lackluster characterizatons: Jake is simply the theme song as a character, which in theory is awesome because that theme song slaps but in practice is pretty lame, and Lilo is selfish and irresponsible even for her in a way that dosen’t feel at all convincing. It drags down what’s otherwise a fun crossover and Morpholomew is truly a unique and wonderful experiment. Still if you like either show it’s worth a watch even if you have to suffer through Keoni for it. It’s worth it.. I just wish it was better and hopefully the next 3 will keep the good parts but take out the bad. Granted this was produced last so I could be wrong, but here’s hoping.  Oh this episode also featured Miranda Cosgrove as the girl who claims to be Keoni’s girlfriend. This is also Keoni’s last episode meaning I do NOT have to worry about accidently running into him. Thank fucking christ. 

Next Time On American Dragon Jake Long: Jake’s dad drags him and his friends on a camping trip and Jake ends up encountering the Jersey Devil. Now all they need is a sexy lady devil cake to lure it out... what it worked for the Cake Boss. And yes that happened, Allison Pregler did an episode on that episode. Check it out. 

Next Time On Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: It’s the family, the family, proud familllyyy as the Prouds take a vacation at Peakly and Jumbas bed but not breakfast and we get some kind of squirrel demon for our experiment of the week. We also get Wizard Kelly appearing...

See you at the next rainbow. 

Am I the only one still wondering why both Toshiko and Yasutaka still do not bother verifying that male vocal in 5iVE STAR? The jnetz keep on saying it's Nakata but I don't wanna believe it quickly unless it came from capsule themselves

Tbh it's impossible to find and read every single FRUITS CLiPPER interview so there's no telling if he might've confirmed/denied it somewhere along the way but I'm inclined to believe it was him doing his best impersonation of Ukai Yasuhiro (formerly of COPTER4016882 and Utrecht). Ukai/COPTER were signed to contemode at that time, Nakata was hanging around him pretty often and was enthused about his music to the point that FRUITS sounded very inspired by COPTER's album 2d2d (which released in the same timeframe and was sort of supervised by Nakata; it was the only release on contemode that wasn't made by him). Though for a long time I thought it was an uncredited Ukai feature and I wouldn't be shocked if it is.

Also it's worth mentioning after listening to this song probably 4016882 times recently + analyzing the deliberate way those verses are sung I can at least rule out Toshiko (whereas for example in Judy Jedy I definitely think she's also the deeper robotic voice that enters later in the track). Nakata was kinda fucked up back then and kept coming up with these songs that were hard to sing because he was 26 years old and creatively about to hit his peak -- Perfume's Perfect Star Perfect Style is one of them and IIRC it was the first time they heard him sing because he had to put down the vocal guide himself due to the way the melody goes (I think they also said it was hard to get right and hearing that "koori tsuita jikan ga" I believe it, what the hell even is that line??). So I could very easily see a situation where Toshiko might've been meant to sing the entirety of 5iVE STAR but it was too wacky.

But yeah we don't ~really know. Re: the J-fan consensus, I believe it but I also would love to see justification that isn't "I was there at the FRUITS release party in '06 and Nakata sang those parts." Though there's not really any harm in some mystery and not knowing doesn't change how good of a song 5iVE STAR is or my sometimes concerning fixation with hearing him sing. (I don't mean raw vox either, like he can turn himself into a robot, pitch his voice up etc, I just find the concept of someone who has hidden behind almost entirely female vocalists finally singing to be very interesting.)

It's kind of funny having so many back-and-forths about this track/these vocals considering they're so obfuscated by all the effects on them though...

An actual blogpost: Remembering 2013-2014 Tumblr

For the past few years (2015-2021), i think many of you have noticed that i've started to use Tumblr less and less, i've since become more active on other platforms like Twitter, because Twitter was where people where, and a part of the joy of creativity for me is seeing people's reactions to my works, after all, seeing the happiness my work can give people is a large part of my motivation and money to survive and pay the rent in our difficult world. To me personally, Tumblr started to feel more and more like a "corporate graveyard", something it didn't use to be. The reason i was attracted to Tumblr was because people told me to use it, weirdly enough, i fell into pear pressure, but i think now as an adult, i am starting to understand what i liked about Tumblr's "vibe" Tumblr always felt really accepting in a way, even when i wasn't ready for it myself yet, Tumblr's "vibe" has always been very progressive, pro-LGBT+, and open about mental health issues, unlike many other websites. But there was a special kind of magic about the pre-2014-Dashcon era, i think Tumblr used to be more "cohesive", like there was some kind of unspoken unity and solidarity, or maybe that's just my nostalgia blindness. Now in 2021, it's been...7-8 years since i've experienced that era on Tumblr, and funnily enough, i kind of feel like i would have been able to enjoy it better at my current age, because back then, i wasn't really ready to accept myself yet, but now i feel like i would appreciate it. After 2015, and after Tumblr got handed out to different companies like crazy, and the NSFW ban, i always felt like the "culture" and "vibe" of Tumblr changed gradually, it became more "corporate friendly", less "emotional goth indie hipster coffee", more "prude soulless suit", and as someone who grew up in the height of emo/edge culture (the friendly emotional teen kind, not the mean edgy kind), that transition of "vibes" always kind of felt disappointing to me, not because i feared getting older, but because Tumblr was an interesting combination of a "time capsule" of that friendly type of edginess (unlike other websites), counter-culture, and openness about progressive/LGBT+/mental health topics, but also really funny jokes (we call them "shitposts" now, but they used to have more meat to them imo), Tumblr was that kind of chaotically funny friend who would also listen to you when you are an emotional wreck, that was Tumblr's "vibe", as seen by my, admittedly, millennial nostalgia goggles that is. Oh god, i'm a millennial But yeah, slowly, i felt like people just kind of...moved away from Tumblr, to other sites, like Twitter. But let me tell you, Twitter is a fucking shitshow, like, let's be real, Twitter isn't well moderated at all. I used to think Tumblr was a "drama hole", but honestly, Twitter takes the cake, there are way too many negative things on Twitter, especially political fights are a big thing, it becomes very draining on my mental health to see that every day, so i've muted a lot of words on it. I've been thinking back about the past a little, about my journey as a composer and as an artist, and one place i feel like i've overlooked in that internal retrospectieve is Tumblr, Tumblr is...nostalgic, it used to be a very different place than it is now, but i felt very inspired by it at times. Remember that one time before Undertale for example? Where i made an arrange of one of Toby Fox's song, and he just reblogged it? That's still one of my favourite memories on this website. But yeah, aside from personal moments, i also really enjoyed a lot of the site's humour, there were just so many enjoyable posts here (Tumblr University and voiceovers and cool random stories where people keep adding new stuff always caught my attention), you just don't have the same type of "vibe" on other websites, Tumblr was an unique place were i've made a lot of nice memories, and i'd like to remember it for the good things, not the bad things (because of course there's bad things on Tumblr lol). If you've actually read this; thank you, have a nice

day! (PS: Do you want me to make more of these blog-style posts? It can be about other topics too of course) (Btw feel free to comment/reblog comment on this with your thoughts!)