#kwon soonyoung scenarios | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thepixelelf · 1 year

Text

Bluff and Nonsense - she/her ver.

genres: romance, angst, some fluff, university au, not a fake dating au pairing: female reader x hoshi words: 17.0k (01:08) warnings: cursing, alcohol notes (orig, 2020): "so the title is fluffy and this was a title fic, but then it ran away on me. I really like this one so... yeah. Enjoy!” update, 2023: this is the she/her version of Bluff and Nonsense. other than the pronouns, nothing else has been changed. you can find the original they/them version here, and the he/him version here

“Soonyoung? Yeah I know him, you should too. He’s on the uni’s dance crew, and ever since he joined them, their popularity’s skyrocketed. I’ve met him a few times, great guy — got a tendency to run his mouth but hey, no one’s perfect. He’s smart anyways, probably knows how to deal with the consequences, right?”

Soonyoung never thought one bluff could lead to so much nonsense.

Kwon Soonyoung is a man of many talents. He’s the guy who could fit a whole orange in his mouth in fourth grade, the guy who always knew how to make the social studies teacher talk about his divorce instead of the world wars, and the guy who brought a live pigeon to school with no one questioning him whatsoever. He’s also the head choreographer of the university’s dance crew — you barely knew there was a dance crew until he showed up with his hand-drawn posters — as well as a totally well-rounded fine arts major. C’mon, who takes a chemistry course in the fine arts? Kwon Soonyoung, apparently.

Of his many talents though, lying is not one of them.

Which is why, when asked if he likes anyone, Soonyoung says your name instead of simply saying “no” (a much better option in hindsight). He actually likes a girl on his dance crew. Cute, funny, has those eyes you can just get lost in — lord knows Soonyoung has. But, at this relatively quiet party, with half the guests crowded on Seungcheol’s couch and the other half on the disgusting carpeted floor of his apartment, Soonyoung can’t admit his real crush because she’s sitting just a few feet away.

It wouldn’t be such a bad lie if you weren’t also sitting a few feet away.

You’re on your phone when he says your name in his heartbeat-induced panic, but you look up at the sound of it, as does Seungkwan, who was reading something on your phone from the beanbag chair you’re both sitting in.

A chorus of low, teasing ‘ooh’s rises throughout the room, almost like it’s eighth grade again and Soonyoung just got called down to the office. Except now, he might actually be in trouble. He gets a few claps on the back from his friends close enough to reach, commending him on his bravado even though he doesn’t deserve it. Really, the whole situation only dawns on Soonyoung after 6.8 seconds, which is a bit too long considering he made the situation in the first place. Blood rushes to his cheeks, not because of the alcohol in his red cup he’s yet to drink, but because you’re looking right at him, and he has no idea what to do.

Soonyoung doesn’t know you very well. In fact, he’d almost say he doesn’t know you at all.

You’re Seungkwan’s friend from one of his classes — computing science, if Soonyoung remembers correctly, but he’s not totally confident. The only reason you came tonight is because of Seungkwan. You don’t know anyone else.

With a tilt of your head, your face scrunches with question, and you look to Seungkwan for help. You know Soonyoung said your name, but you missed hearing the context. It looks like Seungkwan missed it too, seeing as the conversation you two have only makes your brow furrow more as the room chatter picks back up. Everyone else is already over Soonyoung’s sudden confession when Jeonghan starts talking about something else.

Except Soonyoung’s friends, of course. That would be too easy.

Mingyu turns to him with a stupid smile, his cheeks red from both the free opportunity to tease his upperclassman and the light beer he’s been sipping and pretending to get buzzed on all night. He nudges Soonyoung with his shoulder where they sit on the floor, leaning in to speak under the conversations surrounding them. “You didn’t tell me you like her,” he says, the jesting tone in his voice clearer than water.

“Yeah...” Soonyoung doesn’t know why he doesn’t just retract his confession, it’s not like Mingyu is close to you or anything, he’d understand. But then again, he’s bad at lying, and the girl he likes is still sitting on the couch. He scratches the back of his neck. “It’s sort of a recent thing.”

Mingyu’s smile only widens at Soonyoung’s response, his eyes turning to slits with the rise of his cheeks. “Soonie’s in looove~!”

And Soonyoung doesn’t know what to say. Nothing like this has ever happened to him before, not exactly like this, anyways. So he just looks down, scratches the back of his neck again, looks at one of his dance crew friends when she calls his name.

He doesn’t dare glance your way for the rest of the night.

Turns out you do know someone else other than Seungkwan, because once most of the guests have cleared out, leaving only half the boys to clean up, Seokmin approaches Soonyoung as he scrubs the sink of whatever that weird green stuff is.

He asks how Soonyoung knows you and says off-handedly that he’s never even seen the two of you talk. (Which is right.) He says these things shouldn’t be joked about, that you’re a person with feelings, and Soonyoung should leave you alone if he’s just doing this for comedy’s sake.

Soonyoung thinks he’s never seen Seokmin so serious.

It’s probably fine. You haven’t said anything good or bad, and other than the occasional tease from his friends, no one has taken anything too far. Maybe you’ll forget about it tomorrow. Maybe he’ll forget about it tomorrow, and it will all be okay.

Besides, it’s not like he actually likes you. And his real secret is still safe and sound.

•

Of Soonyoung’s many talents, making people sad is also not one of them.

It’s not that he actively tries to cause misery only to fail, it’s that he can’t stand upsetting anyone. He’s a people-pleaser by nature, that’s just how it is.

So he doesn’t say no when you ask him out for coffee.

And he smiles at you when you try to make conversation, even though it’s awkward and hesitant despite having a mutual friend like Seungkwan. It’s not so bad, he thinks. You’re trying, at least, and when you ask him about his interests, you actually listen, which isn’t common when he tends to over-explain his love for dance and performance. He has a coffee in his hand too, so that’s a plus.

You ask him if what he said at the party was true, and something in your eyes makes him say yes.

•

There are a few more coffee dates after that. It’s nothing official, and Soonyoung is hesitant to call the meetups “dates” because he’s not interested in dating you. But it’s a little late for that.

You seem brighter, though, every time he sees you again; he can’t bring himself to take that away, to cut the cord, to clean this mess he made.

Something about the way you two talk is nice, at least. Soonyoung can’t quite put his finger on it, and he tells himself that’s what’s drawing him back every time, not the guilt he feels sunken in his ribcage whenever you smile his way. It’s not that deep, he repeats to himself whenever you wave to him on campus, making him feel obligated to walk you to class. It’s not that deep.

He’s in the library one day when he spots you at one of the tables, books open and spread out as you scribble down notes, a pair of earbuds dangling from your ears. You haven’t seen him, so he doesn’t try to approach, just ducks back behind the bookshelf he’s been exploring. His hand is on a book he might like when a voice stops him.

“You know you’re an idiot, right?”

Minghao leans against the opposite bookshelf, his arms crossed, locked and loaded for judgement. Soonyoung looks around, but of course he’s talking to him. They’re the only ones in the row.

“Um, how do you want me to answer that?” he asks, unsure of exactly what Minghao’s talking about. Yeah, he knows he’s a bit dense sometimes, but not all the time.

Minghao rolls his eyes. “I know you like Sehee. You haven't stopped laughing like an idiot at her bad jokes." He nods his chin outwards, gesturing over Soonyoung's shoulder and through the bookshelves towards where you're sitting. "What are you doing messing with Seungkwan's friend?"

It’s not too surprising that Minghao knows — he’s an intuitive guy, but Soonyoung is still caught off guard. He asks first, under his breath, “Does anyone else know?”

“If you mean dumb and dumber, then no.” Minghao jerks his head to swing his dark bangs out of his eyes. Everyone keeps telling him to just cut his hair shorter, but he refuses for the aesthetic, or something. “Chan is way too focused on dancing to notice your dumbassery, and Jun is about as observant as a fishcake when it comes to feelings.”

Soonyoung’s shoulders fall in relief, though he didn’t even realize they’d tensed up.

“But that’s not the problem here. Why are you playing around with her if you’re into Sehee?”

“I’m not—” Soonyoung pauses, thoughts deliberate, “—I’m not playing around, okay? I just... I don’t know. You were all looking at me, and I couldn’t just say Sehee's name, she was right there!”

Minghao cocks an eyebrow at that. “But you could say hers?”

“It was a moment of weakness.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m aware.”

Soonyoung groans quietly — he’s still in a library after all. He covers his face with both hands, not wanting to look at Minghao nor have Minghao look at him. For a second, it’s blissful, awkward silence, which Soonyoung would take over Minghao’s scolding any day. But of course, no haven lasts forever.

“You’re gonna have to tell her,” Minghao says, and he’s probably right. No, he is right, Soonyoung just doesn’t want him to be.

“I can’t do that! I said I like her— twice!”

“Twice?”

“Twice!”

Minghao only drops his head for a second, scoffing at the whole situation. Soonyoung wishes he could do that too, just laugh it off because it’s someone else’s problem.

“Well, you’re going to have to say something sooner or later.” Meeting his eyes, Soonyoung realizes Minghao might actually be worried. About you, or him, or something else, he’s not sure, but the subtle fold of Minghao’s eyelids tells Soonyoung this is about more than just calling out idiocy. “And I think sooner will hurt less.”

Soonyoung knows he’s right. But he doesn’t like it.

Before he can come up with a rebuttal, though, Minghao’s hands are on Soonyoung’s shoulders, and he’s pushing him out of the row of bookshelves and straight towards your table.

“You can do it, Soonyoung, just rip the band-aid while you still can,” he whispers in Soonyoung’s ear right before one last push at his back.

Soonyoung stumbles a bit, but once he regains his footing, Minghao’s already gone and you’ve already noticed the ruckus. You pull one earbud out with a bright smile. It’s so jovial that Soonyoung almost forgets why he’s here.

“Hi Soonyoung, I didn’t see you come in,” you say, and there’s no way you’re this energized just from studying in a library.

“Uh... hi.”

“You’ve actually got the perfect timing.” Waving to him, you gesture for him to sit next to you, and he does. You pull out some sort of planner, opening it to a few months from now. “I wanted to ask when exactly your showcase is? Seungkwan’s no help at all because he only cares about his concerts and stuff. Honestly, there aren’t that many...”

You’re going to have to say something sooner or later.

Soonyoung picks later.

•

“So when are you gonna ask her out?”

Jihoon stands in front of the stove, watching his hot water simmer, a bag of dry ramen in one hand and long cooking chopsticks in the other. It’s Soonyoung’s turn to make dinner tonight, but since he says he isn’t hungry, Jihoon’s scrounging it out himself.

Soonyoung, on the other hand, sits at their tiny dinner table, his forehead pressed to the cool surface, arms hanging limp at his sides. He mumbles something of a response, but it’s nothing more than a questioning grunt, if anything.

“Oh, you know.” Even when Jihoon says your name, Soonyoung stays still. “Only the girl you’ve been on several “dates” with ever since you confessed to her at Seungcheol’s party. When are you gonna ask her on a real date?”

Tired, Soonyoung groans. “When the time is right, I guess.”

•

You work on campus. It’s some part-time job you don’t care about enough to even complain over, despite the fact that you have to deal with annoying university kids every day. Soonyoung finds this out when he has coffee with Minghao in one of the buildings he doesn’t normally frequent, and only goes to today since Minghao has a class nearby in the next hour.

The coffee isn’t great, and it’s too expensive, but Soonyoung drinks it anyways. He much prefers the coffee from the cafe he goes to with you. Because the coffee is better. Obviously.

He hears your voice first, words indiscernible with distance and overshadowed by a much louder, angrier one, but still. Minghao sees you first, though, and he points past Soonyoung to the student printing center, where you’re standing behind the counter and arguing with some guy. You don’t seem too riled, but Soonyoung can tell you want to be anywhere but there, especially when the angry guy’s voice keeps getting louder and louder.

Soonyoung’s feet bring him over before his brain can register what to do. You haven’t seen him yet, he could just walk away, but he doesn’t. Your voice becomes clearer as he approaches.

“Listen, the printing center is for education, art, or business. I can’t print this for you.”

The guy goes off about personal freedoms or whatever, Soonyoung isn’t really listening.

“No, I get that this is a student printing center, but I really don’t think your big tiddie anime gf poster has anything to do with education, art, or business.”

And that’s when the guy grabs your arm. Which results in Soonyoung grabbing his arm. Which results in the accusatory question, “What are you, her boyfriend or something?”

Now, in a perfect story, this would be the first time Soonyoung meets you. Or maybe you’ve been close friends for a while. And this would be when Soonyoung says that, yes, he is your boyfriend, and he would save the day. Except you’d be all “why would you do that?” which would result in you both having to fake date to keep that guy off your back. In this perfect story, there would be no Sehee to like and no Minghao to judge, just you and Soonyoung fake dating. Eventually, you’d both catch real feelings instead of fake ones, and then boom, happily ever after.

But this isn’t a perfect story.

Soonyoung still says yes, and the guy still backs off. In reality though, because Soonyoung never thinks before he lies, you momentarily duck behind the counter and bring a hand up to your face to cover your ever-brightening smile. In reality, Sehee still exists at the forefront of his mind every dance practice, even though you’re the one he just promptly claimed to be the boyfriend of. In reality, Minghao watches from a little ways away, sipping his coffee and shaking his head in what can only be called disappointment.

Soonyoung’s never been good at lying. One would think he’d stop by now.

•

So, it’s official.

You’ve put a heart next to his contact name. He’s put one next to yours — red, because he doesn’t know your favourite colour. Seungkwan’s done the whole if you break my friend’s heart I break you spiel and Soonyoung finally realizes he’s in too deep.

It's almost too natural, how easily you bring him into your life and how easily he finds himself fitting. It's all so wrong.

Soonyoung feels like an imposter, like there's someone meant to be by your side, but it's not him.

You pluck up the courage one day to hold his hand, and he can't pull away because the lies tying him to you are too strong. The small bluffs he's spun have weaved themselves into a net he's tangled himself in.

His dance crew congratulates him when Jun spills the news. It's all mundane, really — dating in university isn't all that uncommon. Mostly, Soonyoung gets casual "you go, dude" comments or the like, but then Sehee says nothing. She smiles, and it has to be one of the most tragically beautiful things Soonyoung's ever seen. His heart fractures, just a little, and he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to fix it.

He smiles it off. Tries to, anyways.

Chan complains that Soonyoung's too harsh that day.

•

Jihoon likes you.

Not in a "Mister Steal Yo' Girl" way, but he laughed at one of your jokes the first time you came over to Soonyoung's apartment, and ever since then, he's been convinced.

"You must feel like the luckiest guy on earth with her around," Jihoon says once you leave for the night.

Soonyoung has no idea how to tell him he's felt nothing but unlucky these past few weeks, so he doesn't.

•

He polishes up on his acting. As awful as it is to think, Soonyoung has gotten really, really good.

His smile looks genuine. It has to — he shows it to Minghao, who says it's "adequate," which basically means perfect to the lowly humans beneath him.

He's gotten good at responding to you too, copying how the male leads do it in dramas and movies. It's sort of easy.

He hates how easy it is.

Soon enough, you try befriending the whole group. Being Seungkwan's friend, you've always wanted to, but apparently this is the push you needed. The boys are quick to warm up to you because, as Soonyoung's new girlfriend, you're now a new teasing target besides Chan. The youngest was always the brunt until you came along.

You say you don't mind — that his friends are amazing despite all the jokes and chaos. He believes you.

Minghao keeps his distance, saying he doesn't want to get himself involved. He's still the only one to know the truth, and his judging stare only grows worse as the days pass. Soonyoung wants so badly to make it go away, but he knows the only way to do that would be to tell you the truth, and he's just not ready.

Soonyoung's never broken a heart before. He's never planned on it.

Sometimes life makes its own plans.

"My shift got moved to tomorrow," you tell him when he picks you up from class, one hand in his and the other in your pocket. He knows it means something, but he doesn't know what. Your lips purse into a line as you stare at your shoes. “I was thinking... could I come watch your dance practice? If that’s okay?”

Now, Soonyoung loves dancing. He loves dance. He loves to dance. Performing sends an unparalleled thrill rushing through his veins like the solar system hurtling through the universe, and it’s something he’s never felt doing anything else. Dancing with others is a beautiful connection, an emission of silent truths communicated through the body. Practice, however, is the dirty version of dance. It has to be built up first — polished. Which is why Soonyoung says what he says. He doesn’t even think it over.

“No.”

It’s what he says every time someone asks. He doesn’t invite people to practices — never has. Even after his prompt refusal, he doesn’t register his mistake until the light in your eyes wavers. It doesn't disappear — just ripples. Comes back weaker than before.

"Oh," you say. The word should sound dejected but it doesn't. There's a smile at your lips, and Soonyoung can't help but think it looks kind of like his. "That's— that's okay! I was just — I don't know, I guess I just thought... I wanted to..."

Meeting his gaze, you look at him with shaking eyes, almost as if it takes great strength to keep them on his. He tries to backpedal, but you continue.

"I'll be going home then. I've got an assignment due soon anyways, so..." You pull your hand from his grip and, from where you two were walking toward the fine arts building, turn the opposite way. Your dorm is on the other side of campus. "See you tomorrow, Soonyoung. Have fun at practice."

Something about your smile haunts him.

It's hollow; feels empty when you flash it at him before going. He thinks fake smiles all look like that — insincere. His smiles at you must be the same way.

For an awful moment, he's hopeful. Maybe this will be the trigger. Maybe you'll end this tonight — whatever "this" is that Soonyoung has with you. Maybe he won't have to tell any harsh truths at all.

He turns and walks to practice.

The routine feels lighter tonight, though Soonyoung can’t pinpoint why. His body almost floats, and while that sounds good, it’s not. The rhythm is off. He’s not landing when he should be.

His crew notices, especially Chan, who complains that Soonyoung’s too much of a cocksure choreographer to be making repeated mistakes like this. They tell him maybe everyone should take a break. He agrees, but only because he’s frustrated — and he shouldn’t channel his anger into dance. Not this one, at least.

Everyone spreads throughout the studios to the edges, where they lean their body weight on the walls and slide down, water bottles in hand. The room reeks of sweat and feet, but Soonyoung’s used to it by now. He guzzles down half of his water in one go and pulls out his phone.

[❤] Sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to react all... cold? Seungkwan told me you never invite anyone to practice, so it makes total sense why you said no

[❤] If I’m ever crossing any boundaries, let me know, okay?

Of course you’d be understanding. Soonyoung wouldn’t be that lucky.

He tosses his phone haphazardly in his bag, groaning and throwing his head back so it hits the wall with a dampened thud. The pain is dull compared to the thoughts top-spinning in his mind.

Across the studio, Minghao clears his throat, raising an eyebrow at Soonyoung when he opens his eyes to look at him. It only takes two reluctant nods for Minghao to understand the source of Soonyoung’s groans, and he does nothing to react but look away. Soonyoung thinks that’s almost worse than the judging eyes. At least at that point Minghao thought he was something other than a lost cause.

He doesn’t text you back. By the time he thinks of something a boyfriend would say, the time to say it has passed.

•

How much longer is he going to let this go on?

Soonyoung wonders that to himself as he sits, returned to Seungcheol's apartment for another one of his "getties" as people are so apt to call them. He's never understood the difference between a getty and a party, and he's always been too stubborn to ask, knowing he'd be mercilessly made fun of for not knowing something apparently all university students knew.

This one isn't so different from the last. More or less the same crowd, the same atmosphere as the night goes on. Only this time, when everyone's settled down in what can hardly be called a circle, Soonyoung's on the couch, sunken into the too-old cushions with an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You're far from your last claimed spot with Seungkwan on that ratty old beanbag chair, sitting comfortably under Soonyoung's arm with a plastic cup of whatever Jeonghan concocted for you — which you've yet to drink much of.

Sehee sits across from you both while she laughs at something Wonwoo says. You laugh too, but Soonyoung barely notices, eyes glued to the girl they've been stuck on since she joined his dance crew over a year ago. He wants to tell her how beautiful she is when she smiles, even under the light of Seungcheol's dingy apartment, but he can't. He wants to tell her how he's felt for months, but you're next to him. He wants to have a fucking drink but all he has in his cup is fucking iced green tea because he knows if he drinks he'll fuck up again.

Just like last time.

"You okay?" you whisper in his ear at one point.

He turns to see your concerned expression, and it only makes Soonyoung hate this even more. He doesn't deserve your concern.

"I'm fine."

But he's not fine.

He doesn't participate in much conversation — only speaks when spoken to, and even then with few words. You seem to become tense next to him, but he does nothing to try and fix it. Just tonight, he's going to let himself be tired.

Three times, you offer to leave, and all three he refuses. You give up eventually, though he can tell you know something's off. God, if he were drunk, he wouldn't even have to think about you for a whole night.

Somehow the topic of discussion turns to couples, and suddenly, an entire room of eyes is on you and Soonyoung. He barely catches the question before you're already pondering your answer.

What do the two lovebirds love most about each other?

You look at him. At him, at him. He feels your stare in the dip of his throat because he can't seem to swallow anymore. It's like his soul is being scanned for viruses.

"Hmm..." You let your chin fall into your palm with a smile. It's real. Too real. "I like his resolve," you finally say. "If he wants to do something, he does it." With a loud exhale through your nose, you tilt your head, still meeting his eyes with your own. Soonyoung's mouth slightly parts, slack with something he can't name. "I could learn a thing or two from him."

The room bristles with your answer, various response piping up around. Soonyoung sort of registers Chan saying, "That's cute. I wanna vomit," but he's too busy thinking about you, about how you've come to like something about him as deep as that when all he's done is pretend to even like you at all.

And even when his mind swims with that, Sehee asks again.

"Then Soonyoung, what do you like about her?"

It sort of hurts. Soonyoung's not afraid to admit to himself that hearing Sehee ask what he likes about you sends pain straight through his ears to his heart. There's an awkward pause and everyone's looking at him expectantly and, god, he wishes he stole your drink when he had the chance.

"I..." His throat goes dry. His lips part, but there aren't any words to slip past them. "I, um..." He looks to you, and your eyes speak volumes. Everyone else in this room has a sort of... hungry look. They want to know Soonyoung's answer for one reason or another, maybe to tease with or to ridicule or even wish for themselves. But you, your eyes meet his and he knows you're not expecting anything. That hurts too. He doesn't know why. But even then, he can't think of the words. Any words. He steals a glance at Sehee, whose expression is curious, doe eyes slightly giddy from alcohol. She's pretty.

"I like her laugh," he says. It's not about you. "Whenever she laughs, I think to myself, 'What I wouldn't give to see her laugh again'."

Your eyes move to the plastic cup you've got gripped between two hands in your lap, and Seungkwan points out your flustered state to the entire room despite the fact everyone can see it as long as they've got working eyes. You purse your lips together to contain a smile, but it doesn't work. Even Soonyoung can see that.

He needs a drink.

Having to go to the bathroom is a lousy excuse, and Soonyoung knows it, but he whispers that in your ear anyways and retracts his arm from your shoulder before escaping. He does go to the bathroom, a small thing with a shower and no bath, but all he does in there is stare at himself in the mirror. And when that becomes too much, his feet.

Someone else eventually has to use the bathroom for its actual purpose, so he opens it to the banging fist outside and slides past the person back into the hallway. He pauses before walking all the way back. You're caught up in some other conversation now, laughing and dramatically waving your hands as you deny some crazy embarrassing story Seungkwan's trying to spill about you. Seems you've already integrated yourself with his friends more than he thought.

Since your attention is occupied, Soonyoung instead ducks into the half-kitchen — not necessarily out of sight, but no one's really paying attention anyways. He knows he shouldn't take any chances, but he really, really wants to let go. He's been wearing a facade ever since he said your name that night.

"I wouldn't, if I were you."

Minghao's voice has Soonyoung jerking up and banging his head on the door of the open fridge he was rummaging through. He winces in pain, kneading his fingers into his scalp as if that will do anything.

"Wouldn't what?" he snaps.

"I dunno." Minghao shrugs, and it's almost infuriating how nonchalant he is. "Do something you might regret, I guess."

He takes the yet unopened bottle from Soonyoung's hands, reaching beyond him to put it back in place. There's no point in fighting against him since he's undeniably right, but Soonyoung grumbles anyways. His eyes glance every few seconds to you on the couch. If you happen to hear anything...

Well, he doesn't know exactly. But he doesn't want to find out.

"You have to end it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just—" Soonyoung takes in a breath, too loud for his liking. He lowers his voice. "I can't, okay? I don't want to hurt her."

"So you're just going to date her based on false pretenses because you're too much of a coward to admit your mistakes?" Voice laced with sharpness, Minghao places his palms flat on the counter.

Soonyoung takes a deep breath through his nose, lips twisting in frustration. "Yeah, okay? Yeah," he whispers. "That's exactly what I'm gonna do."

A second passes. Minghao's brow furrows.

"And quite frankly," Soonyoung continues, "I'd rather you keep your nosy ass out of my business from now on."

He nearly storms off right then with the last word, but Minghao's fingers around his elbow stop him.

"You're going to get yourself hurt," Minghao warns through his teeth. He nods towards you. "And her in the process."

"We'll see about that."

Soonyoung has acted on impulse before. It happened with the pigeon, it happened with your name, and it's happening right now. Nothing is compelling him other than the absolute need to prove Minghao wrong, and even then, he doesn't know why.

He sits back down next to you, his spot saved by some miracle considering the surrounding company. The look on your face is happy, jovial. You must be having a right old time. His nerves strike with a feeling he's never quite experienced before.

When you study his face, no doubt not nearly as cheerful as yours, the expression you held falters to worry.

"You okay?" is once again the question on your lips, quiet, meant for his ears only.

Impulse is a scary thing. Soonyoung hates it almost as much as lying.

He leans in, crashing his lips on yours with his eyes half closed. His lips move and yours don't. Soonyoung can't even be sure you've closed your eyes, but at this very moment, he doesn't care. All he knows is he's angry and Minghao is watching.

This isn’t your first kiss — he knows because you’ve talked to him about this very topic. This is, however, to your understanding, the first “real” relationship you’ve ever been in. You told him yourself that you don’t really count that past kiss as your first, that you felt a bit... violated when it happened.

Soonyoung thinks this isn’t all too different.

He steals your second first kiss, and later, staring at the water-stained stucco ceiling of his bedroom, he kicks himself so hard it hurts.

•

You show up to movie night. Apparently Jihoon invited you — explained it like this:

“You won’t have to be so clingy with me if she’s here.”

At first, Soonyoung thinks Jihoon just wants to drop their roommate movie nights because he’s always complained about them, but Jihoon sticks around during Anastasia; sings along with you during Once Upon a December despite the fact that neither of you really know the words. He sits right in front of you two on the couch, cross-legged on the floor with a bowl of popcorn in his lap, that of which he only offers to you twice and Soonyoung once.

Whatever. You’re a better cuddler than Jihoon anyway.

Somehow it doesn’t feel forced when you lean your head on Soonyoung’s shoulder, or when he wraps his arm around your waist to get comfortable. He blames it on how tired he is, how he always gets on movie night after a week of classes and practices and too much work for one person to handle. Jihoon complains all the time that he’s too touchy when tired.

You absentmindedly play with his fingers for most of the movie. He doesn’t mind.

It’s been about a month now.

Soonyoung doesn’t kiss you again after the first time. Doesn’t stop you, either, but you’re more of an on-the-cheek kind of person. He thinks you think he wants to take this slow, even though he initiated the first big step (as convoluted as it was). He lets you think what you want.

Nasty business, it is.

Cleaning a bowl that once held popcorn. All the grease that sticks to the side because Jihoon likes to use too much butter. All the grains of salt that get underneath Soonyoung’s fingernails. He’s washing, Jihoon’s drying. It’s an arrangement of sorts.

You’ve already left for the night, gone back to your dorm since it’s only a five minute walk or so through campus. Jihoon insisted on Soonyoung escorting you, but you only smiled sweetly and refused. Maybe Soonyoung should’ve argued harder against you. He didn’t though. That’s why he’s scrubbing a bit too harshly now — he doesn’t like messing up.

Seems that’s all he’s good for lately.

“You’re unhappy.”

Soonyoung stops scrubbing. The only noise in the whole apartment is the slow gurgle of the sink because even with a plug, such an old thing just lets the hot water seep away as the seconds go by. Jihoon’s gaze is on the pan he’s drying, but Soonyoung knows his heart is in the question. It always is.

“I’m not,” he tries to deny, but it’s difficult to fool a person like Jihoon. (Especially since Soonyoung can’t even convince himself.)

The non-stick pan from yesterday’s dinner clangs against an older one when Jihoon puts it away. He looks at Soonyoung, but by then he’s turned back to washing the popcorn bowl, so their eyes don’t end up meeting.

“I’ve known you since tenth grade. You think I can’t tell when you’re upset?”

Soonyoung finds it hard to read Jihoon’s feelings most of the time. He didn’t realize he was such an open book the other way around.

Sighing, he continues to scrub the bowl, which has probably been clean for a minute already. “I’m just... stressed.”

“About?”

Minghao already knows; already thinks lowly of Soonyoung for it. If Jihoon knew... Soonyoung doesn’t know if he can take that.

So he lies. Again.

“Just the dance showcase.”

It isn’t a whole lie, not really, but he can’t call it the truth either.

Jihoon takes the bowl from Soonyoung’s grasp and rinses it under the tap. Since that’s the last dish, Soonyoung is stuck with nothing for his hands to do. They rest on the edge of the sink, but his fingers ache for a task.

Jihoon, the friend that he is, says, “That’s not for three months, though. I’m sure you’ll be perfect by then.”

“I don’t know...”

“Well I do.” Eyes meet eyes, a pair determined, a pair apprehensive. “Everything will work out.”

“...Okay.”

•

Soonyoung measures time in terms of you now.

When he last texted you. When he last saw you. When he last spoke to you.

It’s all a very elaborate calculation — how much time he’s spent on you versus how much time he should spend on you. No relationship is quite like this one, he thinks, and it’s quite the romantic notion out of context. The fact remains, every interaction he has with you only pulls him further and deeper into his lie.

Soonyoung’s time moves a bit slower now.

Faster, sometimes, but only when he doesn’t want it to.

•

You tell him you might be in love with him.

He says he might be in love with you.

He’s never hated lying more.

•

Jihoon is cleaning out the fridge when the buzzer goes off, so since he’s close by, he picks up the old corded phone attached to the wall. From his spot on the couch, Soonyoung looks up from his phone to see Jihoon cover the receiver and mouth your name. Jihoon makes some sort of gesture with his hands, and somehow Soonyoung understands that as, were you expecting her?

His eyes widen as it settles in that no, he’s not expecting you. The apartment is a mess.

Jihoon buzzes you in, hangs up, and immediately moves from the fridge to the coffee table, throwing the laundry he was planning on folding back in the plastic hamper and shoving the pile in Soonyoung’s lap.

“Take care of this,” he says. “I’ll clear up the kitchen.”

Right. Can’t have you thinking your boyfriend and his roommate are slobs.

Soonyoung reacts quickly, standing from his spot on the couch with the laundry basket in hand. He dashes to his room, where he plans to stuff the laundry in his closet and save that problem for later, but once he gets there, he realizes his room is even worse. There are dirty clothes dispersed all over his bed and old coffee cups littering his desk. Scrambling to shove the new laundry in his closet, the dirty clothes in the now empty hamper, and gather all the paper cups in his arms, Soonyoung’s breath starts to catch.

When he emerges from his room with two armfuls of garbage, he finds you at the door with Jihoon, your face hidden in his shoulder and your arms wrapped tight around his waist. Jihoon’s arms are up, almost like he’s being held at gunpoint, and his eyes widen even further when he catches sight of Soonyoung.

“Uhh... it’s for you.”

Soonyoung can hear your quiet hiccups even though they’re muffled in Jihoon’s shirt. He can’t bear it when people cry.

Yeah, maybe he’s been pretending to like you for a long time now, but he’s not a monster.

Right?

He likes you as a person. As a friend. And there’s no way he’s letting his friend go through pain like this.

Soonyoung swiftly discards his trash into the garbage bin and approaches you and Jihoon. At the commotion, you lift your head from Jihoon’s shoulder, eyes all red and puffy. Your lips press together, emotions nearly bursting at the seams, but they finally break out when Soonyoung opens his arms wide.

“C’mere.”

You practically flail into his embrace, arms wrapping around his torso in a vice grip as you hide your face again. He doesn’t ask if you’re okay — he knows you’re not.

Jihoon stands in the doorway for a few seconds, just looking at you and Soonyoung clutching at each other in the middle of the apartment before he shuts the front door and clears his throat.

“I’ll just, uh, I’ll be — um. Mhm. Yup.”

He escapes to his room.

Soonyoung squishes his cheek to your temple as you both stay there. You’re shaking, and his arms squeeze tighter. If only he could make it stop. He doesn’t know what to say or do to make you feel better.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, though quiet and hesitant.

You shake your head, mumbling something he can’t quite make out. He pulls back a bit, just enough to see your face and gently cup your cheeks in his palms. His thumbs rub at your cheeks, smoothing any stray tears across your skin.

“What’s that?”

“Just...” Your eyes glisten. His heart beats. “Could you please just hold me?”

And he does.

Decidedly, his bed is much more comfortable than standing in the living room, so he sways, rocking side to side with small steps that force you to walk backwards. His smile, though, is reassuring, and you follow his guidance without much complaint. He sits you down on his bed, thankful that he cleaned up beforehand, and slowly leans you down so you’re both on your sides, facing each other. Pulling you closer, he lets you rest your head on his chest. Your hand lies flat on top of him, but eventually your fingers curl, clutching a bit of Soonyoung’s shirt between them. Silent tears fall from your eyes to his chest, but he doesn’t care.

His arm underneath you wraps around, hand landing on your back so his thumb can rub soothing circles.

It’s quiet.

Funny. Soonyoung used to dislike silence with you — always felt the need to fill it with conversation or jokes or laughter. He wonders when it was last since he felt that way.

Soonyoung doesn’t know how much time passes. His eyes stick to his bedroom ceiling as he holds you close, thoughts on everything and nothing all at once. Are you asleep? Your tears stopped some time ago.

His question is answered when your voice, small and unsure, breaks the long-standing silence.

“Soonyoung?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you about it?”

He cranes his neck to look at you, but it doesn’t really work. “Of course,” he says. “Why wouldn’t you be able to?”

You sigh. “I don’t know. I just... I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not.”

“I know, but—”

“You’re not.”

You look up at him finally, and seeing your smile sends warmth through his blood. Your face is still looks wrecked from tears gone by, but your smile pushes all that out of the way.

“Thank you,” comes past your lips in a whisper. Then, after a moment of waiting, you say, “It’s just that... I... this — ugh.” You hide your face in his shirt again. “This is so embarrassing. I don’t even know why I got so worked up.”

Soonyoung doesn’t respond to that, just pats your back a few times and encourages you to keep going. You toy with the fabric of his shirt.

“This guy I used to know — I thought I’d never see him again, but he showed up today. Ran into him when I was walking back from the convenience store.” You bite the inside of your lip. “I haven’t thought about him in a long time, but, I don’t know, I guess seeing him just brought all these memories back all at once.”

“Bad ones?”

A breathy laugh escapes you. “Sure, you could say that.”

The silence comes back, and your brows furrow, almost like you’re trying to solve the problem all on your own. But you don’t have to. Soonyoung is here.

“Do you remember when I told you about my first kiss? Like, my real first kiss?”

Soonyoung hums. Of course he remembers.

“Back in high school, I used to have this friend. Sammy. She was — god, she was beautiful. And kind, and smart, and just... amazing. I miss her a lot. She’s abroad now, travelling the world with her sister. I think she’s in Peru now.” You chuckle at the mention of your old friend, but soon your smile twists into a frown. “This guy... I don’t like saying his name, but he liked Sammy. Everyone did, I don’t blame him for that, honestly. He was pretty popular back then — one of those sports boys, you know? Thinking about it now, he could’ve easily gotten with Sammy if he hadn’t been so conniving.”

“Conniving?”

“Yeah, he was... I don’t know how he got the idea in his head, but he came to me first. He kept hanging out with me, taking me on these... dates? But they weren’t really dates, all we did was talk about Sammy — what she liked, what she didn’t like. I knew he was using me, but I just... let him, I guess. Maybe back then I was just so caught up in being needed that I didn’t really mind being used.”

Soonyoung hugs you tighter.

“I guess he felt sorry, maybe? Right before he went to go ask Sammy out, he just... laid one on me. It was stupid. Like a pity kiss for my service or whatever. I wasn’t in love with the guy or anything, but it felt so... degrading. Like all I deserved was some action from a conventionally good-looking guy."

Your tears come back, brimming at the edge of your eyelids.

“I don’t know, it just — it just made me feel so...”

You take a breath. Exhale.

“...worthless.”

Soonyoung doesn’t fail to see the irony here, at least, but he feels slightly lifted. Whoever this guy is, Soonyoung’s a million times better.

“You’re not worthless,” he says — because he knows it’s true.

“I know.” You readjust yourself curled around him, wiping away the tears which haven’t fallen. “I mean, I know now.” Sighing, you wrap your arm around his waist, somehow pulling him closer than he already was. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being here. For being you. For letting me be me.”

“It is my absolute pleasure to serve you, your majesty.”

You wack him with the sleeve of your sweater. “You’re such a dork!”

Your laugh is nice. Soonyoung hopes to hear it again soon.

“You know,” you say, eyes closed as you lie there with him on his bed. “Normally I would’ve gone to Seungkwan with my problems, but tonight...”

“Tonight?”

“You make me feel safe, Soonyoung. Thank you.”

His eyes close. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “That, and if I told Seungkwan, he would’ve found the guy and beat him to a pulp.”

“Why can I see that?”

“Because it’s true.”

You stay the night.

•

With a group of friends as big as Soonyoung’s, it’s about once every blue moon that the boys find a time that works for everyone, especially coming up on finals season. They all have their own worries around this time: the dance showcase, the big play, last-minute assessments, and — of course — finals.

So when they’re all free for barbecue one night, everyone’s ecstatic. Reservations are made, gratuities are calculated, and the group chat blows up every few hours with various changes to plans. (Mostly from Mingyu, who’s eager to show off his grilling skills.)

But of course, university is university, and it’s inevitable that someone has to bail out. That someone being Soonyoung.

The dance showcase creeps up a bit faster than anyone likes, and now Soonyoung’s professor is forcing him to choreograph an entire song for some freshmen only a month before the whole thing goes onstage.

First of all, who signs up for a showcase only four weeks before the performance? Who lets them sign up?

And second of all, doesn’t his professor realize Soonyoung has a life? He’s got other dances to work on, other classes to study for, friends to have barbecue with. How is he supposed to cram an entire choreography — not the mention the time it’ll take to teach the freshmen — into his already hectic lifestyle?

But Soonyoung is a people-pleaser. He doesn’t say no.

Instead, he regretfully messages the group chat, saying he can’t hang out tonight in favour of attempting to choreograph at least a quarter of the song in one sitting. He gets the usual whining, but they all know they can’t change his mind, so it fades out fast.

What he doesn’t expect is for them to invite you instead.

“It’s a thirteen person reservation,” Seungcheol reasons. “Besides, she’s basically one of us by now.”

Soonyoung can’t exactly argue with that.

So, you go to the restaurant with them while Soonyoung heads to the studio. Minghao picks you up along with Vernon and Chan, which sends an anxious bit of worry down Soonyoung’s spine, but he does nothing about it. If Minghao wanted to tell you, he would’ve by now.

You send him a good luck text.

[🍥] Don’t let those kids work you into the ground!

He stares at your words for a bit, distracted from finding the song he’s supposed to use. Your contact name is different now — one of those naruto fishcakes because of that time you took him out for ramen. That night had been full of laughter and loud, borderline obnoxious slurping, ending with the beautiful finale of Soonyoung throwing a fishcake straight into your open mouth.

You were the one that sweet-talked you both out of getting banned.

Soonyoung finally opens his music app and finds the song the freshmen requested (a rather boring one, if you ask him) which he sets to max volume. He doesn’t bother plugging his phone into the speaker system, not when he’s the only one in the studio.

Maybe he can do this.

•

“The trick is to add eggs and use less water,” you say as you scoop more batter onto the waffle iron.

Jihoon snorts from where he sits at the table, still shoveling more whipped cream and strawberry-smothered waffle in his mouth. “Are you sure the trick isn’t to just not be Soonyoung?”

“Hey!” Soonyoung pauses his own eating just to pout. “My waffles are good!”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”

Both you and Jihoon laugh at Soonyoung’s expense, only further accentuating the pout on his face. You and Jihoon are too alike in that aspect. Well, actually, Soonyoung knows you’d never laugh at him, but he still can’t be sure about Jihoon. One time, back in high school, Soonyoung tripped over (what he thought was) a dead bird, and Jihoon laughed for hours — though Soonyoung always exaggerates the story into him laughing for days.

You sit down next to him with your own plate of waffles. There’s flour dusted on your arms, but you don’t seem to mind.

“You’ve got a little...” You point a finger at the corner of your mouth.

He knows. Soonyoung can feel the cool whipped cream right where you say it is.

He smiles wide. “I’m saving it for later.”

“Hmm...”

You say nothing, just smile as you lean in, kissing the corner of his lips. It’s quick, chaste, and barely a real kiss, but Soonyoung’s heart bounces in his chest. He’s never been kissed like that before.

He wonders if this is what it’s like to be loved.

That thought, though, he pushes back for another time.

“Gross. You guys made me lose my appetite,” Jihoon says. He keeps eating.

•

With eyes drooping shut every few seconds, Soonyoung decides it’s time to call it quits on the chemistry homework. It’s nearly one in the morning, anyways. He flips his textbooks shut and gathers up all his notes, putting them all in a haphazard pile that he’ll worry about in the morning. Swivelling in his chair, his eyes land on you.

Oh. He forgot you’re here.

You’re snuggled up on top of his covers, one arm wrapped around the pillow your head should be on, eyes closed as even, slow breaths come past your slightly parted lips. One of his hoodies is draped over your legs like a blanket. He wonders why you didn’t just get under the covers.

Well, he has been walking you home ever since he hadn’t some time ago. Maybe you were waiting.

He feels a bit guilty as he brushes his teeth and washes his face, but not too bad since you only have afternoon classes tomorrow. Maybe he can treat you to something in the morning to make up for it.

After he tucks you under a fluffy throw blanket, he crawls into bed and lies on his side, facing you.

Your other hand is lax, palm up and fingers curled, almost like you’re holding something invisible.

His hand would fit perfectly.

The tips of his fingers graze over the lines on your palm. Slow. Trepidatious.

You shift, fingers unconsciously curling around Soonyoung’s hand.

He closes his eyes.

•

The moves aren’t working.

The moves aren’t working and the music isn’t working and the dance isn’t working and nothing is working.

Soonyoung groans in frustration, almost screaming with his fingers threaded through his damp hair as he messes up yet another landing. He’s drenched in sweat, and it’s only been so many hours since the rest of the crew left for the night, not that he’s kept track.

It’s less than a week until the showcase. Six days, as Chan is apt to remind everyone with his stupid holiday countdown app.

That freshmen choreography is already over and done with — Soonyoung’s made it, he’s taught it to those over-eager nuisances, and if they need anything more, that’s on them. They’re no longer his responsibility.

That’s not what has him in such a state right now.

His solo — the one he’s been planning for the entire semester — it just doesn’t... feel right. He’s been slaving over it for days now, reworking the steps, figuring out what to take out and what to replace. But the more he fixes it, the more it feels wrong.

He can’t get the steps right. He can’t get anything right.

What is wrong with him?

He starts the music again at exactly one minute, thirty-eight seconds. The moves are clear in his mind. One step. Two steps. Sweep. Spin. Jump—

He falls.

The music goes on.

Soonyoung slams his fist onto the softwood floor, cursing at his ineptitude. He stays like that for a moment, eyes screwed shut and fists clenched so tight his nails dig into his palms. The song ends, only to restart again, but Soonyoung barely notices.

Screw the music. He stands; positions himself; tries again.

Again.

He falls.

He yells out at the floor, at his feet, at whatever is holding him back.

His reflection in the mirror stares back at him.

Mind blank, he sits there, legs stretched out in front of him as he hunches over, eyes closed to the world around. His breaths come out shaky and uneven, but even though every moment sitting still feels like eternity, his lungs fail to calm.

Someone knocks on the door, and for a second, Soonyoung thinks it’s Jun coming to tell him to go home for the night. He doesn’t want to, so he doesn’t look up.

The door opens, he can hear the quiet shuffling of hesitant feet that have removed their shoes just because the sign on the door told them to.

“Soonyoung?”

Your voice is clear — like a single drop of water coalescing into a whole — and it cuts through the sound of blood rushing past Soonyoung’s ears.

He looks up to see you standing a good length away, almost like you’re scared to approach. You’re wearing pyjamas, a thick sweater pulled over your shoulders and fuzzy socks donning your feet. Something bulges from the pocket of your sweater.

“What are you...”

“Minghao called me.”

In the back of his mind, a small part of Soonyoung wonders exactly when you and Minghao have gotten close enough to call each other, but the thought doesn’t stay for long. It can’t, really, not when you’re in front of him.

When Soonyoung says nothing more, you take another step forward. “What’s wrong?”

To anyone else, he might say nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong.

His voice breaks when he tries to laugh.

“Everything.”

Your eyes soften, a small smile tugging at your lips. It’s not one of those pitiful smiles, he can tell, but it’s not fake, either. You bring your hands together in front of you, fiddling with the tips of your fingers as your eyes move from them to his gaze again. “I’m coming over. Is that okay?”

He nods.

First, you find his phone and turn down the music until it’s gone. You sit right behind him, legs spread on either side of his body, and you wrap your arms around his waist, pressing flush to his back and resting your cheek between his shoulder blades. He squirms a bit.

“I’m all sweaty,” he tries to argue, but you only squeeze him tighter.

“Yeah, you are.”

He stops resisting. It’s much too hot, what with his hours of constant exercise and your thick layers, but he can’t complain.

“Do you want to talk about it?” This time it’s your turn to ask.

“...Just hold me?”

And you do.

You press a kiss to the back of his neck. Slow, soft, and when your lips leave his searing skin, your forehead replaces them.

That’s when the dam breaks.

Hot, fat tears roll from Soonyoung’s eyes down his cheeks as sobs rack through his chest. The vibrations shake him and you all at once, but your hold never falters. He can’t see anything, only a blur of what should be his legs and your arms wrapped around his stomach. His hands go to clutch at your arms, desperate to hold onto something; to not let him sink.

It’s ugly, the way he cries, but you let it happen. You hold him.

This is what it’s like.

Eventually, his desperate hands find yours, his arms crossed so his right is over your right, his left over your left. His fingers roam over the smooth backs of your hands until they reach your fingers and interlock. The palms of your hands are warm compared to his fingertips.

You’ve locked onto his body language by now — you’re fluent, so you know to continue pressing reassuring, slow kisses into his skin. You know to whisper little words that should mean nothing, but coming from your lips, mean everything.

He’s going to be okay.

For some reason, coming from you, he believes it.

You hold him until the hiccuping stops, until the tears are just dry streaks on his face, until his breath comes out in long streams instead of bursts.

His eyes stay shut as he feels you shift. One of your hands slips out of his grasp, your arm reaching back, and Soonyoung almost whines until he feels its return.

“Look,” you whisper.

It itches to open his eyes, but when he does, he sees what’s in your hand, right in front of him. A small stuffed tiger sits in your palm, positioned anatomically incorrect like a teddy bear, a velvet heart between its paws. Stitched white letters read:

Go get ‘em, tiger!

You chuckle lightly, repositioning yourself so your chin hooks over his shoulder. “Cheesy, I know. I was going to give this to you the day of the showcase, but I think you could use it right about now.”

Gingerly, Soonyoung lifts his hands together, and you place the plush in his awaiting palms.

His voice is slow to restart, but he manages to say, “Thank you.”

Hands now free, you wrap yourself around his waist again. “Anything for you.”

Such a simple sentence, that, and yet the confession sends blood to Soonyoung’s ears in the form of an awfully embarrassing blush. He runs his thumbs over the fuzzy fabric of the tiger plush.

“Soonyoung?”

“Hm?”

You press your lips to the crook of his shoulder, voice muffled in the fabric of his shirt. “I won’t force you to stop practicing. I know this is important to you.” Soonyoung feels your breath fan over his skin. “But I also want you to rest — you shouldn’t overwork yourself.”

One of your hands rises to his chin, guiding it up so he looks forward at the studio mirror and meets your gaze in the reflection.

“Whaddya say we do, hm?” You tilt your head, and Soonyoung thinks his pupils may be heart-shaped. “Do you want to practice more? Or can I take you home?”

“Just...” He swallows what’s left in his dry mouth. “Just once more.”

You smile. “Okay.”

As you get up, you run your hands up to Soonyoung’s shoulder and down to his hand, where you playfully pretend to pull him up with you. He laughs, hiding his face behind the tiger plush for a second before he stands, tugging your hands as he does so you fall into him when he rights himself. Both your hands are squeezed between him and you, while his unoccupied arm finds its way to your side.

Another smile tugs at your lips at the proximity. You shift your hands up so they wrap over his shoulders, linking behind his head. Leaning closer, your eyes gleam under the fluorescent lights. To the sound of silence, you sway together, waltzing in the dead of night.

“I’ll be outside, okay?”

Soonyoung’s expression tightens, eyebrows shifting in confusion. “Why?”

“Well,” you say. “I know how you feel about audiences during practice.”

Something about your smile right now makes Soonyoung feel so undeniably safe. You understand him. Never once have you questioned him over why he doesn’t invite you to practices, never once did you pressure him to change that.

“Do you know how I feel about you?”

“Hmm, do I?”

Do you?

“Stay.”

And you do.

•

Here’s the thing about dance showcases:

They’re big, they’re flashy, they take the entire year to plan, and they’re over in one night.

Soonyoung stands in the wings, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, hopefully not loud enough for anyone to hear. He watches as the group performing before his solo finishes up their dance, though he knows there is at least a minute before he’ll have to go on.

A tap on his shoulder makes him turn his head, and he sees Sehee’s smiling face.

“Nervous?” she asks, her voice hidden beneath the music.

She’s all dolled up, dressed in her costume with a sleek leather jacket to bring everything together. Her eyes glimmer just as much as her eyelids.

“You have no idea,” Soonyoung jokes, but his heart isn’t really in it.

Sehee tilts her head; blinks a few times. “You’ll do amazing. You always do.”

For what it’s worth, Soonyoung hasn’t forgotten his attraction. Sehee’s words soothe him to some extent, pump him up, even. It’s slightly terrifying — how much she still affects him even now.

You’re in the audience tonight, third row from the front, somewhere in the middle. Your seat is between Seungkwan’s and Jihoon’s, whereas all the other boys came (almost) too late and had to find seats elsewhere.

The music ends, applause erupts, and Soonyoung knows it’s his turn. He waits for the group to exit on the opposite side, and when the resounding claps quiet down, he takes the first step onstage.

Something Soonyoung has almost always known: stage lights are blinding. If they’re set up right, anyone onstage will have a damn hard time seeing anyone in the audience. He can’t see you — couldn’t during his previous performance with the crew, either. The only reason he knows you’re there is the million assuring texts you sent him before you had to turn off your phone for the show.

But he knows you’re there. He knows you’re watching.

Soonyoung stands with his left foot on the spike mark, right where he’s practiced time and time again ever since they transitioned into the space. Music floods his veins, and the world is gone.

He wouldn’t call it an escape. Soonyoung doesn’t use dance to get away, it’s not like that. This world he creates with dance — this other space where nothing exists except him and the music and the floor and the feeling — he chooses to go there. Euphoria, he thinks it might be called. Euphoric.

The space takes him. He lets it.

And then it’s over.

Soonyoung’s breath leaves him in bursts, his shoulders heaving despite how hard he fights to keep them still in his final pose. His back faces the audience, his right arm stretched out and up, fingers curling around nothing. Stars dance before his eyes — which he fails to catch with his outstretched hand.

He thinks he can faintly hear applause, but it’s nothing compared to the heart beating in his chest. Your voice plays in his ears, yet he knows it’s simply his imagination — his recollection.

I like your dance, you’d said that night. I’m no expert, no judge, but I like it. I love it, honestly. Your dancing... I don’t know. I wish I had the words. It’s like... a little box.

A little box?

You’ve got a little box in your hand. Brown, maybe the size of your palm. You open it and there’s no bottom, no sides, no shape, just an expanse of universe in blues and pinks and purples and whatever colours we don’t know exist. You look inside and reach your hand in, somehow fitting in the tiny yet infinite space. Your fingers brush through starlight like strands of silk, like the rays are minnows you’ve met during a summer dip. Like that. A little box.

I thought you said you didn’t have the words?

I don’t. Not enough.

Soonyoung vaguely registers the lights going black, the way his feet drift him offstage, the music of the seniors’ finale.

At some point, the lights are back on. Not the stage lights, but the harsh fluorescents once the audience has fully filtered out into the lobby. Most of them will leave, but the family and friends of performers are sure to stay, waiting there to congratulate and fawn over the dancers as soon as they’re let go for the night. Somewhere in his mind, Soonyoung knows his friends are outside waiting for him — him, Jun, Minghao, and Chan.

Roses are passed around. He’s never seen a blue rose before, but some dancers walk around with them as they change out of costume and gather their things. He points out a yellow rose from the bunch presented to him, but it turns out to be a bouquet for him specifically, and he takes the whole thing with his jaw slightly hanging. Everything’s a bit... slow. Soonyoung feels like he’s wading through water.

He hasn’t changed yet, simply standing in his costume as he watches people go back and forth. Other performers move from dressing room to dressing room, cleaning up what they have to while simultaneously patting each other’s backs. Techs go around making sure everything’s in order, nothing lost or forgotten. They put away the MC’s microphones and bother the dancers for not taking proper care of props even though it’s only been one night.

Another tap on his shoulder; it’s Sehee again.

“Can I talk to you?” she asks.

He follows her to a corner of the stage, where the curtains hang and hide the two — for the most part.

She turns almost too abruptly, causing Soonyoung to stumble over his own two feet to avoid bumping into her.

“This is really hard for me to say,” she starts. “But I have to get it out.”

Soonyoung nods, maybe saying something close to a confirmation, but he can’t really tell. He’s a little lightheaded. Sehee has changed out of her leather, instead now in a pair of grey sweatpants and a simple t-shirt. That’s the thing about Sehee, though, she has that unnamed sort of... effortless beauty. Even with her stage makeup wiped off, she glows.

“This might be one of the last times I ever work with you, you know? Next year, my parents are making me quit dancing so I can focus on my major. It sucks, yeah, but they’re right. I need to focus if I want to succeed. You know that too, don’t you? The need to succeed?” She takes a breath; laughs bitterly. “Sorry, I’m getting off track... I just — I wanted to tell you this because if I don’t tonight, I might never get the chance again.”

Maybe Soonyoung has dreamed of this moment. He can’t be sure, not yet, so he lets her continue.

“I like you, Soonyoung. I have for a while. But things happened, and you got together with...” her voice trails off. “And you seemed happy, after a while. I thought maybe I could just keep it hidden but, I don’t know, I think I need to tell you, to get closure because I'm not sure if I can go on without at least—”

Choices. Soonyoung — and everyone else in the world — has only made it through life with decisions. He’s made good ones. Bad ones. He’s had regrets and he’s had none. This, though, this choice is intensely apparent.

Apparent in the way he knows it will affect much more than he wishes.

He kisses her.

God, this is what he wanted, right? What he’s wanted for so long. He used to toss and turn at night over the thought of Sehee’s eyes; her smile; her lips.

And on his, they were heaven. Plump and soft just like the romance novels say, moving at the exact pace of his heartbeat.

The hand holding his bouquet drops to his side as the other goes to cup Sehee’s cheek. Faintly, the sound of paper fluttering to the ground reaches his ears, but nothing can distract him from this moment.

Until, of course, it ends.

Sehee pulls away. “We can’t— I don’t—”

Someone clears their throat.

Soonyoung turns, finding Minghao standing just off from the curtains, arms crossed and face contorted in thinly-veiled anger.

And you.

You’re standing next to Minghao, obviously shocked — over being seen or what you’ve seen, Soonyoung doesn’t know. Hands fisted and held close to your chest, your eyes widen as they meet Soonyoung’s.

It’s not so dramatic as the movies.

Soonyoung stares at you, tongue unmoving with nothing to say. You stare back, almost frozen, until Minghao gently takes you by your shoulders, forcing you to turn and leave the way you must’ve come. Nothing happens in the time it takes. Soonyoung simply watches.

He’s never been good at reading lips, but he thinks he knows exactly what Minghao whispers in your ear.

There’s something you should know.

Sehee mutters, “Sorry,” and leaves. She looks guilt-ridden as she does, but even in his half-frozen state, Soonyoung knows all of this is on him.

He stands alone in that corner of the stage, the only noise being the hum of fluorescent lights and the distant sound of the last stragglers in the dressing rooms. His hands clench, and the brown paper of the bouquet crumples. He looks at it then, at the yellow roses and baby’s breath, at the beige note that’s fallen to the floor.

Slowly, he crouches, picking up the note with his thumb and forefinger.

Congratulations Soonyoung!! I know how hard you’ve worked for this night, which is why I ordered these to be delivered. Joshua told me yellow roses represent happiness, or something. Pretty, right? You deserve every happiness, so I decided to start with flowers. Tonight may be over, but who knows, maybe we’ll find happiness in tomorrow, too.

It’s stupid. It’s not a love letter. It’s laced with love, though, and he hates that he recognizes your handwriting.

Time moves heavily as Soonyoung turns to the backstage door. He’s the only one left now, his station in the second boy’s dressing room is messy, unlike everyone else’s. His reflection stares back at him while he sits in front of the mirror, motions halved in speed as he wipes off his eye makeup.

It’s over.

When was the last time he thought about how it would end?

He changes out of costume, arms growing stiff, and stuffs everything in his bag without much care for how. His regular clothes itch; he longs to scratch at his skin, but he doesn’t.

He leaves your bouquet on the counter.

His friends stand in a circle in the lobby, brows furrowed and voices hushed as they discuss... something. Soonyoung has a bad feeling he knows exactly the topic. Minghao isn’t there. Nor are you.

Jihoon isn’t around, either, but Soonyoung remembers he had to leave immediately after the performance. Something about an essay. It doesn’t really matter now, not compared to this.

When he approaches his friends, they quiet down further. Half of them look his way with a frown, while the other half choose to avert their eyes. What do they know?

Seungkwan stands out the most. His arms are crossed, his lips are pressed together in a thin line, and anger radiates from his very being. Of course he’s mad. You’re his friend.

The silence consumes Soonyoung as he nearly shrivels under his friends’ gazes. He must have taken his time, the lobby is empty except for them.

“Where’s Minghao?” he asks.

Seungkwan lurches forward, but both Seungcheol and Wonwoo bring up their arms to hold him back.

“Where’s Minghao? Where’s Minghao?” he seethes. He jabs an accusatory finger in Soonyoung’s face. “You just kissed some girl and broke my best friend’s heart and you’re asking about Minghao?!”

So they don’t know. Not really.

Soonyoung endures the scolding. The looks. The questions. The noise.

No answers are really given.

The great thing about having best friends is that they know not to pamper you when you’ve done wrong. That’s also the worst thing about having best friends.

Seungkwan would go on and on, surely, but soon enough the boys notice how little Soonyoung is reacting — how his face and expression is slack and dull.

Joshua holds up a finger to quiet down the ones still complaining, then gestures towards the front entrance.

“Minghao left with her a while ago.” The look on his face is one of pity. Soonyoung hates it.

He nods; stuffs his hands in his pockets as he turns to the door.

“Wait! I’m not done—!” Seungkwan struggles against Wonwoo and Seungcheol, but he’s no match.

Soonyoung doesn’t stick around long enough to hear what happens next.

He has no sense of what to do when he walks out that door. Go home, maybe.

The night breeze hits him with more force than it should, making his eyes go dry and his lips tremble. Outside, everything is almost too loud. There’s traffic on all sides, surrounding the lot of the theatre; the sound of humming engines and honking horns assaults his senses.

He walks — though it feels like wandering — to the parking lot, where he plans to look around for a bus stop.

You’re there.

A mirage, he thinks at first, but you’re really there, sitting on one of those concrete barriers, legs outstretched and ankles crossed. You have your head lowered as you sit, hands braced on the cold concrete.

His held breath escapes him, and you look up.

“You’re here,” you say. The smile on your lips, ever so slight and ever so bitter, causes a ringing in his ears. “I almost thought you forgot about me.”

“I...”

“It’s a lie, right?” Your eyes glisten, but no tears fall. “You wouldn’t— I’m not— I’m not that naive, am I?”

Soonyoung’s lips part, but nothing moves past them. His hands itch to leave his pockets, but with nothing to reach for, they stay still.

“...I see.”

You drop your head again, bringing your hands together to fiddle with your fingernails. He hears your breath, shaky as it is, and his lungs constrict.

“God, it felt so real. I thought— I guess I don’t know what I thought, huh?” A shiver runs through you. “Was any of it real?” you ask the ground.

Soonyoung longs to answer. That’s the thing, though.

He doesn’t know.

Can any of it be real?

You laugh. Before, your laugh was spring strawberries; summer warblers; winter snowdrops. Now, your dry laughter echoes in Soonyoung’s mind like a pebble in a failed attempt of skipping stones.

“Guess not.”

You hop off the concrete barrier, wiping off your pants of dust and dirt. Still, you don’t meet his eyes.

Soonyoung’s heart beats in a way he knows isn’t natural. Guilt seeps through every orifice. “You’re not... you’re not yelling at me. You’re not crying — you’re not angry,” he stumbles through. “Why?”

It’s then that when you meet his eyes, he notices the dried tracks lining your cheeks. You have been crying, just in the time it took for him to come across you.

“I’m just disappointed in myself, Soonyoung,” you say. “I’m the one who fell for it so easily. I’m the one that was tricked. I’m the one who—” a breath “—who loved someone that didn’t love me back.” You step closer, arms limp at your side. “Once I get home, sure, I’ll cry my eyes out. Is that what you want to hear? I’ll curse myself for being so... so stupid.”

“It’s not your fault—”

“No, it’s not. This is not my fault. All I did was believe the words you said to me. All I did was hand myself to you on a silver platter.” Unshed tears brim at your eyelids, but it seems you refuse to let them fall. “But you know the worst part, Soonyoung?”

Everything?

“The worst part is I can’t yell at you. I’m not angry because I fell in love with someone who doesn’t love me back and it hurts and I can’t bring myself to hate you despite being told you’ve never thought about me the way I think about you.”

A breathy gasp escapes you, and you turn on a dime, the sight of your back an icy reminder to Soonyoung of what he’s yet to learn. You take a deep breath to gather yourself, shoulders rising and falling.

“I’ll be going now. I’ve got a lot to think about.”

Soonyoung doesn’t move from his spot when you walk away, or when you get into Minghao’s car, which pulls away after a moment of sitting there in its parking spot. His feet are stuck in stiff mud, unable to shift, even.

Perhaps he stands there for too long. It’s not until he’s staring down the front of his apartment that he realizes one of his friends must have dropped him off.

•

He hasn’t heard from you in a few days. He hasn’t heard from anyone in just as long.

Jihoon already knew (not everything, but enough) by the time Soonyoung rolled out of bed the day after. He hasn’t said anything about it, but Soonyoung can tell this silence isn’t the same as usual. They rarely eat meals together anymore. Last movie night, Jihoon didn’t even pretend to be busy, instead saying he simply wasn’t in the mood.

Seungkwan hasn’t left your side ever since... that happened. If Soonyoung happens to see you on campus, which is almost never, he backs out of approaching you because of the sheer force that is Seungkwan’s glare. Besides, he wouldn’t know what to say even if he did find the courage to face you.

Classes go by in blurs. Not quickly, like scenery past a car window, but so slow that once Soonyoung leaves, he remembers nothing but hours upon hours of staring at his empty notebook, even if the lecture was only fifty minutes long. Days are kind of like that too.

•

Sehee apologizes. She shouldn’t, but she does.

Soonyoung didn’t really hate what he did at first. He liked her, after all.

But when Sehee chokes on her own words, pleading to whoever will listen that she’s not that kind of girl, Soonyoung regrets kissing her more than he ever wanted to kiss her in the first place.

•

please let me explain

I’m sorry

it’s been a while, but still

I’m sorry

[🍥] Explain what?

[🍥] ...

[🍥] Soonyoung?

sorry I just

I wasn’t expecting you to answer

[🍥] Maybe I shouldn’t have

wait

I’m sorry

[🍥] So I’ve heard

I just want you to know why what happened, happened

[🍥] But I already know why

it’s not that simple

[🍥] You lied because you suck at lying. Because you knew Sehee was there that night and panicked. I was just collateral damage

[🍥] ...

[🍥] No answer, huh?

[🍥] So it really is that simple

please wait

I’m just trying to figure myself out

[🍥] Let me help you

[🍥] You want my forgiveness because you feel guilty. Maybe you don’t know it yet, but you want me to say I forgive you just so you won’t have to carry this around for the rest of your life

[🍥] I know this isn’t some romcom. I know you’re not here to get me back

[🍥] So just let it go

[🍥] Let’s just forget about this. About what happened

what if I can’t

[🍥] I don’t know

[🍥] Figure it out, I guess

[🍥] But do it on your own

•

Soonyoung doesn’t measure his time anymore.

He wakes up. He eats. He goes to class. He skips lunch. He goes home. He eats. He falls asleep.

When was the last time he went out with someone? When was the last time he had a real conversation?

He doesn’t know.

•

[Minghao] You should tell everyone else

why

[Minghao] Would you rather they think you’re a cheater or just an idiot?

I don’t know

[Minghao] I think they deserve an explanation

[Minghao] Want me to do it for you?

does it even matter anymore

[Minghao] It’s your choice

[Minghao] You just have to make it

then tell them

I don’t care

[Minghao] Are you sure?

tell them

•

These days, Soonyoung stays late at the studio. No one really practices there anymore, not since the showcase finished and finals have rolled around. Actually, Soonyoung should be studying too, but he can’t find the motivation. He thinks it might be the guilt.

You were right. He doesn’t want to carry this around.

The thing is, despite spending entire evenings in the studio, he can’t remember anything as he walks home. It must be hours spent in there, and yet, when he walks out, he can’t recall a thing. Like he was never there at all.

Where does the time go?

With his luck, the elevator is broken when he returns to the apartment building, so he has to take the stairs. Normally that wouldn’t be a big deal, but after hours of mindless, sloppy dancing, he’s much too tired. He fumbles with his keys when he tries to open the door, and he rests his forehead on the cool wood for a moment, sighing before he tries again.

The door creaks open. Though it’s late, the lights are still on, which Soonyoung frowns at when he realizes. Lately, Jihoon is never up when Soonyoung comes home. But there he is, sitting at the table right next to the kitchen with his eyes on his hands and his feet tucked under the chair.

Soonyoung freezes after shutting the door behind him, not wholly sure what to make of the scene before him.

After a moment of silence, Jihoon looks up from his fingers and meets Soonyoung’s gaze.

“Minghao called me today,” he says.

Soonyoung gulps, but doesn’t respond — doesn’t know how to.

“I didn’t want to believe it at first, you know.” His voice is slow, croaky; tired. “But it sort of makes sense, doesn’t it. I don’t know how I didn’t see it from the start.”

Slowly, Soonyoung slips off his shoes and steps further into the apartment. “So now you know. I’m really not in the mood for a lecture right now.”

“I just have a question.”

Soonyoung pauses, halfway through the apartment and only a few meters from his bedroom door. He turns to face Jihoon, sighing through his nose and digging his palm into his eye sockets. “Fine,” he concedes. “What?”

“If you never loved — never liked her, why are you acting like this now?”

“Acting like what?”

“Like a dead man walking.”

Soonyoung scoffs, a dry, empty sound as he looks away for a moment before meeting Jihoon’s gaze again. “You’re kidding, right?” he asks. “I lied to someone for months. I pretended to love someone I didn’t. I used her because of my own stupidity and pride, and then I used Sehee, too—” Pausing, he closes his eyes; takes a breath. “Isn’t it obvious? It’s guilt. I feel guilty for... for everything.”

“That’s the only reason?”

“Excuse me?”

Jihoon rhythmically taps the pads of his fingers on the table. It’s not loud enough to be heard, but Soonyoung’s eyes train to the sight. “It’s only the guilt?”

“What else would it be?”

This time, it’s Jihoon who sighs. He looks at his hands again for a second. “Do me a favour,” he says without looking up.

“Look, I already—”

“Just do what I say.”

Soonyoung groans, but he knows he can’t argue with Jihoon and win — not now at least. He rubs his eyes, shoulders rising and falling as he takes in a deep breath. Mumbling under his breath, he says, “Fine.”

Jihoon stands from his chair, and in such stagnant silence, the sound of the legs squeaking on the floor is profound. He points to the middle of the apartment, the large bit of floor-space that’s too big to be considered part of the kitchen but too small to house any furniture.

“Stand right there.”

“...What?”

Without answering, Jihoon simply points at the floor again, and Soonyoung can only groan in defiance as he moves to stand in that spot. Grabbing a throw pillow from the couch, Jihoon steps a few feet away, facing Soonyoung with the pillow held in one hand at his side. He seems to consider something for a moment.

Soonyoung has never been unable to read Jihoon this much, so he asks, “What is this all about—”

Jihoon screams. Not a high-pitched screech, but a guttural battle cry, and Soonyoung’s eyes widen. Faster than he can comprehend, Jihoon runs towards him and tackles him to the ground. Soonyoung’s legs crumble as he falls, and he feels the throw pillow pressing onto his face.

This is it, he thinks. This is how he dies.

“Jihoon!” he cries, but his protest is muffled by the pillow. “What the fuck are you—!”

“You fucking idiot! You don’t know shit!”

“I know that!” Soonyoung thrashes to get the pillow off, but Jihoon is way stronger than he looks.

“You miss her you fucking buffoon! You’re all in your doom and gloom because you had a good thing going and had to go fuck it up!”

“I don’t!”

“Don’t try to argue with me, fucker, I know you better than anyone. Now scream!”

The pillows squishes further down, and while Soonyoung can still breathe, it’s far from comfortable. He continues to struggle even though he knows it’s useless.

“What?!”

“Scream into the pillow! You’re mad at yourself and you should be! Let it all out!”

“I—”

“Scream!”

And he does. He lets out a loud bellow that’s nothing but sound roaring from his lungs. He does it mostly to appease Jihoon — so that maybe he’ll finally get off.

But it feels good.

No, not good, really. It feels awful. Everything feels awful. Yet, something about screaming makes him want to do it again. He yells once more into the pillow, the sound muffled in the fabric and yet intensely remarkable. He screams and he screams and he screams until he can’t scream anymore and his voice is raw and there’s no more sound aside from the fractured gasps of his sobs. Tears soak into rough fabric, and he doesn’t even notice that Jihoon isn’t holding the pillow anymore — he’s pressing it to his face himself. His body shakes under Jihoon. Soonyoung feels pathetic, but he can’t stop.

He tries again to scream into the pillow, but his voice cracks and all he knows is to cry.

This is what it’s like.

Quietly, Jihoon maneuvers himself so he sits by Soonyoung’s head. He slowly lifts a corner of the pillow and peeks at Soonyoung’s red face. “So,” he whispers, voice soft and full of care. “What are you going to do now?”

Soonyoung wraps his arms around the pillow, hiding his face again.

“I don’t know,” he says. He’s never felt less sure of anything. “I don’t know.”

•

That night, Soonyoung cleans his room. He doesn’t reorganize or anything, just picks discarded clothes up off the ground and throws them in a hamper, spreads his blankets so his bed actually looks bed-like, and takes his overflowing garbage bin out to the door, where he’ll take it out tomorrow morning. As he stretches his arm between his bed and the wall, his fingers close around the sweater he’s trying to reach and... something else. When he brings his hand back up, a small tiger plush stares back at him.

Go get ‘em, tiger!

He stares at the words for a moment, sitting up on his bed and leaning his back against the wall. The plush feels frail in his hands, almost like the velvet heart held in the tiger’s paws could crumble at any moment. Maybe it will.

Soonyoung settles down above the covers that night, and the tiger sits on his other pillow.

The one that still smells like you.

•

He cries. (For the second time since you left.)

•

After everything that’s happened, one would think it would take a miracle to fix what’s been broken. Soonyoung thinks it will take more than that, but still; he’s no miracle worker. He thinks it will take magic to just see you again.

Turns out, it takes a coffee.

Jihoon forces Soonyoung to join him in visiting one of the campus cafes. He doesn’t think about it too much, just believes Jihoon’s trying to keep him alive with a little kick of caffeine. That thought is pushed away when Jihoon blocks him from sitting at the little table, pointing instead across the space to the student printing center.

You’re talking to a customer at the front counter, forearms rested on the white faux marble. A smile is on your lips as you say whatever it is you’re saying to the girl, and Soonyoung finds it almost impossible to tear his eyes away. But he does. He scans the rest of the building for a second. Seungkwan is nowhere to be seen, and neither is Minghao.

He turns to Jihoon, a question on the tip of his tongue.

“She told the bodyguards to back off,” Jihoon explains without needing to be asked. “It’s been a few days.” He nods his chin towards you. “Go on. Talk to her.”

Soonyoung shakes his head, gulping down the words he can’t yet think of. “I don’t... I’m not... ready.”

“If you back out now, you’re going to keep backing out until it’s too late.”

Jihoon’s eyes blaze with an unfitting determination for such a setting. He looks stupid, like some self-made, all-knowing relationship guru who likes the coke he’s gripping too much. Still, he’s right.

Soonyoung licks his dry lips and looks at you again. You’ve sat down, relaxed after having helped that customer and now conversing with one of the other students working there. He misses the way you looked when you were happy — when you were happy with him.

What will it take to see that again?

What will it take to hold you again?

His feet move before his doubts can stop him, and the scene feels awfully familiar. This time though, Soonyoung can’t help but feel like the bad guy.

You don’t notice him until he’s right in front of you, and he doesn’t know what hurts more: the immediate frown, or the fake smile you use to cover it up.

“Hi, what can I do for you today?”

If Soonyoung had to define heartache, he might use this moment. Feigning to forget rather than acknowledging the past... it’s effective, but it hurts.

“Can...” He hesitates and curses himself for it. “Can we talk?”

“About printing, yes. About anything else? I really would rather we didn’t,” you say under your breath. It’s hushed, and you don’t shy away when Soonyoung leans closer to hear. That has to mean something, doesn’t it?

“But there’s something I need to say.”

“I don’t think I want to hear anymore apologies, Soonyoung.”

“It’s not that,” he argues.

Your eyebrows scrunch together. “It’s not an apology?”

“No— I mean, well, yes I want to apologize. I don’t think I’ll ever stop apologizing, but— but that’s not what I—”

“Soonyoung.”

He stops at your word, knowing that speaking will only get him further into trouble. Around you, his words keep failing. Instead, he meets your eyes, which under more inspection, seem hardened.

Have eyes ever looked so hardened when brimmed with tears?

“I don’t know if you know this, but seeing you makes me hate myself.” By now, your coworker has walked to the back, probably to respect your privacy. Your voice almost cracks. “I’ve felt worthless before, but Soonyoung, do you even realize what that — what you did to me?”

He barely breathes before saying, “What if I... what if I said I fell in love with you? Somewhere along the way?” A pause. Your eyes waver, but steady themselves. “What if I said I love you?”

“Soonyoung,” you say after a second.

“Yes?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

•

[🍥] Give me a reason to give you a chance

this is real right?

[🍥] It’s not a dream if that’s what you’re asking

all of a sudden??

[🍥] Minghao and Jihoon said I should

[🍥] And I think I should too

[🍥] But it’s hard

[🍥] What you said yesterday... I don’t know if I can believe it just yet

will you meet me?

I want to see you

[🍥] Can you give me some time?

yes

all the time you need

but will you?

will you meet me?

[🍥] I don’t want to

[🍥] But then again, I do

[🍥] Just give me some time

•

A strange thing, time. It passes by much too quickly when you want it to last, and it drags on when all you want is to be there. There; right then; right now.

Soonyoung stays up late turning on and off his phone, waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.

It’s only been two days.

Jihoon thinks he’s crazy, though he hasn’t said it out loud — Soonyoung can tell.

He also thinks he might be a little crazy, but that’s okay. If it means he’ll get the chance to make it up to you... maybe he’s fine with being crazy.

At some point, Jihoon barges into his room and takes away Soonyoung’s phone, snatching it straight out of his hands like the little thief he is. He keeps it out of reach despite being shorter, preaching bullshit like, “You need to calm down and act like a normal person!”

Fine, whatever.

Soonyoung goes out for some air. And instant ramen.

There’s a twenty-four hour convenience store right on the edge of campus, manned by a single tired university student that everyone is aware of, yet no one really seems to know his name. It’s one of those spots where time doesn’t exist; maybe names don’t, either.

Compared to the blackness of night, the blanch white convenience store sticks out like a sore thumb, especially with all the bright posters and fluorescent tube-lights. Soonyoung feels just as out of place with no people around just outside the store, but really, it’s to be expected at a time like two in the morning.

He’s right at the door when it chimes and slides open. And so are you.

Both of you freeze where you are, you in the doorway and he just in front. His jaw slacks slightly as he takes you in.

You’re in casual clothes again, a thick sweater and presumably pyjama pants. This version of you comes with good memories — for some reason he likes it more than he cares to admit. Maybe he liked that you could share a more vulnerable side to him, and he to you in return. Although, you’ve shown this side to even the unnamed convenience store guy.

It’s your voice that breaks him from his reverie.

“Soonyoung,” you say, and it’s softer than before. Maybe your voice is lighter from the fact that it’s two in the morning, maybe just because you’re tired, but a small part of Soonyoung wishes that it’s something else — that you sound softer because you’ve missed him too.

He hopes it isn’t just hope.

He says your name, the sound beautiful and battered on his tongue. A small smile passes your lips, so fast that he almost misses it, but he doesn’t. That’s one thing he knows about you: how much you care. Even if someone hurts you, you always take the time to hear them out. You give them chances. Soonyoung should thank his lucky stars that you’ve done the same for him.

“Hi.”

You smile again, and it reaches your eyes, however sad.

“Is it time?” he asks.

“It can be.” The plastic bag in your hand crinkles as you sway it back and forth. “Do you want it to be?”

“Yeah.” His voice comes out like a breath. “Please.”

“Then that’s what we’ll make it.”

You gesture to the ground, where the curb meets the asphalt, but Soonyoung is still a little shocked that he’s even met you here in the first place, so he watches, dazed, as you sit down on the curb before joining in. He stays silent as you pull out an ice cream cup and hand it to him. He stays silent as you procure a second one and peel open the plastic lid, digging into it with the wooden stick spoon-wannabe that comes with the package. He stays silent as you look at him, the wooden stick hanging from your mouth.

“So,” you say, scraping the side of the paper cup. Meeting his eyes, you sport a sly smile. “I hear you’re in love with me.”

The ice cream stays unopened in his hands. He finds it so easy to smile back.

“Yeah. I think I am.”

“You think you are?”

“I’ve never loved someone like this before,” he tries to explain, though the words are slow to his tongue. “I can only think.”

“I guess so.”

“But—” he looks at his fingers, fiddling with the plastic lid of the cup, and a small laugh escapes “—I’m thinking really, really hard.”

You laugh too; his heart blooms.

“Is that so?” you tease, smiling around the wooden spoon. “It’s gonna take more than that.”

“I think I can do it.”

“You think?”

“I think really hard.”

Soonyoung might be in love with every part of you, even if he never realized. Your laugh, your smile, your tells, your habits. He wishes he knew sooner, that this laugh could’ve been his forever long before now.

You scrape the last drops of ice cream out of the paper cup and leave the stick in your mouth, a bit chewed up. Your shoes tap against the asphalt, the rhythm something that draws both his and your eyes.

“You know...” you say, turning your head to meet his gaze once more. “You know you hurt me, right? You know this won’t be easy?”

“None of what we had was easy.”

A scoff runs past your lips. You bump your shoulder against his. “Speak for yourself. I fell hard and fast for you, asshole.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. I know.” You take the still unopened ice cream from his hands and stuff it right back in the bag it came from. “Say it again, though.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hmmm... maybe it’ll take a few more times.”

“I’m—”

“But not tonight,” you say. “Tonight...”

Your hand beside him closes the distance, grazing over his and pulling it over to your lap.

“...just hold me?”

And he does.

Bonus (gn) epilogue: Fluff and Context Bonus (gn) blurbs: [a fate of my choosing][pick a struggle]

720 notes · View notes

ksyongi · 2 years

Text

little distractions- kwon soonyoung pt.2

an: an amazing collab with @dinosbestie it was amazing and sooo fun working with you, looking forward to many more works together!<3

genre:romance, humour, fluffy-smut ish

warnings:smut, minors dni!! pet names(darling, baby etc) , kissing, cursing, oral!male receiving, oral!fem receiving, mirror sex, face sitting, full lowercase post

pairing: kwon soonyoung x fem!reader

word count: 1.84k

part.1

tags: @multi-kpop-fanfics (gasp an idol) @thetigerlatte (gasp another idol) <3

soonyoung knew that he was in for it the second he saw that text, but it surely made a tent form in his pants.

time skip~

"well, look who decided to turn up," soonyoung was seated on the couch with the most shit-eating smirk on his face. you stood at the door, bag clutched in one hand and the other hand pushing your hair away from your face. you had a flushed expression, but an aura of dominance was radiating from you. "don't act all confident now soonie, you will be begging for my pussy later," "let's see about that princess."

soonyoung stands up, hands slithering around your waist. pecking your lips, he takes the jacket off your shoulder as he lightly sucks on your skin. it was getting rougher by every mark left. you let your arms drop to your sides, bag dropping in the process. whimpering from his touch he now unbuttons your shirt, with every button taken out, he kisses the new exposed skin.

"don't hold back, okay baby? i want to hear you," soonyoung says buried in your neck

"soonyoung, look at me" he raises his head as you crash your lips into his. he lets out moans at the feeling, "mm, feel so good baby."

he knew your body so well. your hands peeled clothes off each other slowly. to be honest, you wanted to make out with him all day, but he decided to send that video. therefore, your plans had to be pushed to another day.

you were exhausted, thus the kiss was sloppy, but it had to do. kissing was mere foreplay. you'd do it for hours before actually getting to the sex. but that's not the main concern at the moment.

"you taste so good princess," he whined into your mouth. well you had to assert that dominance before you decide to surrender to him. "how about we fulfill a fantasy that i always wanted you to do to me." soonyoung put his hands on your bare waist, making you shiver and goosebumps rise.

"how about you let me ride that pretty cock of yours infront of the mirror? the same one you decided to send me that video of you jerking off and those pornographic moans of yours, how daring for you to do such a thing right?" he let a whimper fall from your dominance.

pulling him closer to you with the waistband of his pants and going to catch his lips in another kiss, he tuts, "woah hold it, i rather bring this to the bedroom. we're going to make use of that mirror of ours today."

grabbing your wrists and moving his hand to intertwine your hands together, he pulls you towards the bedroom, it was not as 'steamy and hot' the second he tripped over his giant stuffed tiger on the way. "crap...i thought i removed this just now..." he was standing there, face flushed, naked with only a pair of boxers on with a stuffed tiger at his feet. "i swear soonyoung, i thought you learned from last time.." slapping your fore-head. "hm darling, let's get back to what we started hm?" he pulled you towards him, your hand reaching for his abs right away. running your fingers between the lines he giggles, placing multiple pecks on your lips.

the second you were in the bedroom, he slammed you against the door. his hand reaching to lock it whilst you were moaning from the pleasurable pain that the door gave you. soonyoung took a second to admire you, the only source of light was from a small lamp at the corner, its slightly dim lighting aligning each of your silhouettes.

“how about..,” your eyes slowly trailed his frame up and down, “i show you how much i fucking love that mirror, soonyoung.” your arms uncrossing, extending one of your arms to point at the reflective surface. soonyoung gulped loudly, a new side of you radiating through the room. before he knew it you were walking towards him, causing him to slowly back up. after just a few steps the back of his legs hit the bed, causing him to stumble and fall onto the silk sheets.

you let a dark, low, chuckle escaping from your lips.

“let me show you what you’re in for.” sinking down on your knees, placing your hands on his thighs. slowly dragging them down to his knees, and back up, almost up to where he was so painfully restrained. “please.” a silent sigh coming from his mouth. “mhmm? please what darling? i can do a lot of things but mind reading isn’t one of them.” smirking at him, traveling kisses up his neck to the sweet spot by his ear and starting to suck it. he let out a loud moan, not bothering to silence himself.

“fuck…please show me how much you love that mirror.” his voice struggling to stay steady.

"good boy. now you will continue being a good boy for me won't you?" soonyoung nodded enthusiastically, a grin curving at his lips.

before he knew it you were guiding him to the foot of the bed, making sure he had a clear view of himself, before your hand was palming against his hard-on. his boxers swiftly pushed down, letting his dick plop against his abs. you looked up at him, making sure he was looking right into your eyes when you sank down. slowly taking in his length, your eyes never left his gaze letting out a moan that sent vibrations to his cock which made him shiver. making sure to drive him insane. and you were surely succeeding.

“ahw, look at you baby, already so fucked out. c’mon, look up at yourself and see what I’m seeing.” eyes staring up at him, stroking his cock before sinking your mouth back down, taking him deeper than before. soonyoung used all his last of his strength to look up, which he regretted. because now he had to work even harder to not shoot his load all down your throat.

you felt his cock twitch in your mouth, you heard him whimper "y/n…please let me cum..oh fuck-" the second you nodded your head, he let his load into your mouth. "swallow darling." he commanded. you opened your mouth showing him that you did not waste a single drop. soonyoung took you in for another kiss. feeling his own cum mixed with your saliva in his mouth.

"mmm taste so good baby..since you've been a good girl to me, how about i reward you hm?"

he lifts you and turns you so you are now on the bed. catching your lips in another kiss, hands going to unclasp your bra and remove your underwear. he starts to trail kisses down, from peppering kisses on your face to taking your tip into his mouth to placing uncountable hickies on your thighs. soonyoung practically was kissing you everywhere. then it clicked. he was marking what's his.

"you look beautiful. always are and forever will be y/n," soonyoung proceeds to say. "i want you to look at yourself while i eat you out. how gorgeous you look."

yes it had been one of your fantasies but you could not help but let your insecurities kick in. seeing your reaction, soonyoung lifts your chin, pecking your lips and looking at you dead in the eye. "trust me on this, i will make you feel amazing." nodding your head as he starts to lay down on his back on the bed.

soonyoung grabs your waist and lifts you up onto his torso. he proceeds to align himself so his mouth is directly under your pussy. "i'm ready sweetheart," you slowly lower your body onto his face. soonyoung unexpectedly hooks his arms around your thighs, pulling you down and pressing his tongue flat on your clit earning a loud moan from you. you could not help but grind on his face, your wetness all over his face at that point. soonyoung wasn't quite silent either. his shameless moans were let out sending even more shocks of pleasure right to your clit. "i. said. look. at. yourself." well, that was probably what soonyoung said. his voice muffled from under you. you opened your eyes, it was hanging half open.

soonyoung managed to add a few fingers in the process, you lost count, you didn't care. he was giving you the best oral of your life. you were lost, vision hazy as curses flew out of your mouth freely. "fuck- soonyoung" your mouth was hanging open at that moment. his tongue was lapping at your bud as his fingers went in a scissoring motion. not to mention how he was sucking on your clit.

your orgasm was about to crash "soonie, i'm coming, mm" you were about to fall backwards from the feeling but soonyoung was holding you tight with his arms. his free hand digging into your clean skin. it'd probably leave marks but you'd not care more at this point.

your climax came, letting a final moan out of your mouth. soonyoung sat up, your cum all over his face, some already in his mouth. he was a hot mess, panting and licking the edges of his lips to get every last drop of your cum. "well, that was…" "amazing." soonyoung finished off your sentence for you. you let out a small laugh before putting your arms on his shoulders.

"how about we fulfill that desire of your's?" soonyoung grabs hold of your waist again before lifting you over his waist and placing you over his cock.

you slowly lower yourself onto his cock, "fuck darling, so tight" you felt so full, soonyoung let you take a while to adjust to his cock. when you were ready, you lifted yourself, soonyoung's hands guiding you and dropped yourself back onto his dick again, earning moans from both of you. you quickly repeated the motion multiple times. your climax's coming fast. you were getting tired but you kept pushing yourself. soonyoung could see that. he quickly flips you onto your back, hooking his arms around your legs and putting them onto his shoulders.

he clearly knew how to fuck you well and deep. sweat dripping down his forehead, and panting getting more frequent. "soonyoung harder, fuck-oh my god" he pulls you up to attack you in a kiss. your mouths working sloppily, tasting each other in each other's mouths. he takes his hand and rubs it on your clit, circling around it. the second he hits your g-spot you let out, "oh my god right there soonyoung, so deep-"

"you going to come for me soon baby?" you nod your head frantically, "mm come for me baby, you've been a good girl" he purrs. "ah- oh fuck im coming-" you quickly let your orgasm slam, clenching around his dick. soonyoung quickly pulled out and came on your stomach. he then let out a chuckle whilst placing his head against yours. "i love you y/n." "i love you too soonyoung."

362 notes · View notes

oraclekleo · 1 year

Text

Kwon Soon Young (Seventeen) Kinky* Tarot Reading

Disclaimer:

All readings have purely entertainment nature

I don’t know any of the celebrities personally

Don’t base life decisions purely on tarot readings

I can never guarantee any of what’s said in the reading

Before requesting, read the pinned post and appropriate linked post

Tarot readings are my hobby - I’m not obligated to accept any of the requests nor to complete them, it’s my choice, not duty

Waiting time is long, even several months

If you can’t wait, please, seek other tarot reader

Reading Info:

Rating: 18+

Reading Type: Single - Couple

Requested: Yes - No

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky* Reading

Questions:

Position

Libido

Turn On

Kink

Dirtiest Secret*

Celebrity Info:

Full Name: Kwon Soon Young

Stage Name: Hoshi

Group: Seventeen

DOB: 15.06.1996

Sun Sign: Gemini

Chinese Sign: Fire Rat

Life Path Number: 1

Masterpost: Seventeen

Ko-fi - Voluntary Tip for Readings

Kwon Soon Young

Hoshi (Seventeen)

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky*

Position - 10 of Cups

Hoshi isn’t really the kind to power play in a relationship. He’s the happiest man alive when he’s in love, he doesn’t need to show dominance or to submit to someone. Hoshi has a pretty healthy and wholesome attitude towards his partner. He doesn’t have that macho ego in him, he’s attentive, observant, loving and caring. He’s the type to send good morning and goodnight texts and to take care of his bae when they are sick. He’s loyal, honest and genuine, hides nothing of his feelings or thoughts in front of his lover.

Libido - Queen of Wands

While being the wholesome boyfriend, the one you would happily introduce to your parents, Hoshi turns into a playful and daring lover when parents are not around. He’s a passionate man. He likes to talk dirty and joke while nipping at his lover’s earlobes. Hoshi loves to become vocal and he will love to pull some screams and loud moans and whines from his lover, too. He’s a biting beast and will make marks on his lover’s skin. He’s the type to giggle or just straight laugh after climax out of pure happiness and will jokingly tease and praise his lover for their endurance and excellent work.

Turn On - XXI The World

We mentioned it before, Hoshi is a perfect wholesome boyfriend - soft and caring during the day, playful and passionate at night. And because he’s not pursuing dominance, he will seek a partner who can match him, someone as perfect as he is. It doesn't mean Hoshi feels attracted only to someone with perfect looks and perfect manners. Not at all. His lover is likely to have flaws for Hoshi to love (and sometimes goodheartedly joke about) but they will have that confident attitude, the lightheartedness and humour to accept and embrace their flaws and turn them into their charming points. Hoshi is the kind of man who truly seeks the beauty within.

Kink - 0 The Fool

Hoshi likes to have fun and fool around when it comes to sexy times. He’s likely to enjoy dirty versions of games (strip poker for example). The Fool card also suggests he might enjoy getting naughty with his lover in the morning, before his and their schedules pull them apart. Hoshi is likely one of the most giggly lovers there and he will try to find ticklish spots on his lover’s body as well. He will make them laugh wholeheartedly often because Hoshi considers love to be a happy feeling.

Dirtiest Secret* - VII The Chariot

While Hoshi is seeking for his wholesome significant lover, he likes to be challenged. He values his achievements more when he works for them. His lover shouldn’t come as an easy prey. They should make him wait and try and impress them. Hoshi will be the happiest if he can truly show his charms and endurance off, making sure his love interest admires him as much as he admires them. He’s not the dom but he wants to be respected.

Thank you for reading!

Hit the Like 💖

Comment! 💬

Reblog! 🔁

Follow for more! 💌

Any Feedback is Welcomed ✅

106 notes · View notes

shuaflix · 5 months

Text

driving lessons for dummies

❝ i can't parallel park, but i know all the lyrics to 'driver's license' by olivia rodrigo now. ❞

PAIRING ▸ kwon soonyoung x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ fluff, humor, smut, strangers to lovers au, college au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, weed consumption, mc has the worst luck imaginable, soonyoung is down horrendous, there is a minor car crash, very minor description of blood, hurt/comfort, almost car sex, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), grinding, oral (fem. receiving), praise, lots of teasing, overstimulation, pet names (both sexy and unsexy), friend group shenanigans

SUMMARY ▸ you've finally passed your written test and gotten your permit after six failed attempts. eager to get your license while attempting to avoid overpriced driving lessons, you enlist the help of kwon soonyoung, who only requires a STIIZY pod as payment.

PLAYLIST ▸ new romantics by taylor swift • see you again by tyler, the creator, kali uchis

WORD COUNT ▸ 16,834 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this is representation for all the girlies out there who can't drive. not me but

ONE OF THE MOST COMMON STEREOTYPES PERPETUATED AGAINST WOMEN WAS THAT THEY WERE DEEMED TERRIBLE DRIVERS.

That, or they just flat-out couldn’t drive to save their lives.

This sexist notion dated back to when the automobile was created, when driving was physically demanding work and men insisted they handled operating the vehicles themselves. Now, though, plenty of women drove just fine, but misogyny was the only thing keeping the stereotype relevant.

After all, the only reason why women were considered “bad drivers” was because a man decided they were.

Screw all the women who revolutionized the automobile industry, right? Despite them being highly discouraged to take on the labor required of men, it was Bertha Benz who drove the furthest in a motorized carriage than anyone else. It was Anne French who was the first woman to receive a driver’s license. It was Marget Wilcox who invented the car heater, Mary Anderson who created windshield wipers, and Hedy Lamar who designed the wireless transmission technology that made the innovation of the GPS possible.

No matter how high that glass ceiling was, even if a woman demolished and obliterated it to pieces, there would always be a man out there who would push her right back down.

Unfortunately, you were nowhere near smashing that glass ceiling because you had failed your permit test six times.

Yes, it was embarrassing, but you were determined to get your license. At your age, it was getting ridiculous that you had consistently failed your permit test this many times. Plus, you were getting tired of asking all of your friends for rides. You envisioned picking them up in your new car with your shiny new license, grinning smugly at the shocked looks on their faces.

“I don’t think God wants you on the road,” Wen Junhui, your best friend since middle school, said as he dropped you off at the DMV. “If you fail a seventh time, I would personally just use public transportation for the rest of my life.”

“If a sixteen-year-old can pass it without studying, then I can pass it,” you insisted. “Plus, I read the entire manual last night.”

“Yeah, except the sixteen-year-old passed it on their first or second try, and this is your seventh.”

“Well, seventh time’s the charm, right?”

“Right,” he replied, doubtful. He stopped the car in front of the DMV to let you out. “Well, good luck. I’m gonna go get gas and I’ll come back for you.”

“Thanks, Jun!” you chirped. “I swear I’ll pass it this time.”

“Sure.”

“Have some faith in me, please.”

When Junhui drove away, you steeled your nerves to mentally prepare yourself—not for the test but for interacting with the DMV employees. You weren’t a fan of being verbally abused by them, especially after having them roll their eyes at you the last six times you had to tell them you failed.

But today would be different.

Thankfully, the DMV wasn’t too busy today. You only had to wait twenty minutes until they called your number. After handing them the proper paperwork, you were directed to the computers to take the permit test.

Since you were an adult, you only needed to get 30 questions correct out of 36. You had learned your lesson by now, so you actually studied the handbook this time. It took a while to admit to yourself that you weren’t blessed with common sense.

First question. Wrong.

Second question. Wrong.

Third question. Wrong.

What was happening?

By the time you had gotten five questions wrong in a row, your hands were shaking. The pressure started to set back in, and you were terrified about failing this exam a seventh time. Junhui would be so disappointed if you told him you failed again.

You felt the back of your shirt cling to your skin once the sixth question was incorrect. This was ridiculous; you had studied, but these questions were strangely specific. It was like someone at the DMV had it out for you.

Maybe Junhui was right. Maybe God didn’t want you on the road.

You felt like your brain had entered auto-pilot to protect yourself from the discouraging loss of your permit yet again. You clicked through the rest of the questions mindlessly, hardly thinking about anything until—

You passed!

The white screen flashed in your face for about a minute before you could register it properly. All you could do was blink and stare until you pinched your wrist to make sure you weren’t seeing things.

Had you really gotten the rest of the 30 questions right after your consecutive failed attempts? You were so worked up over the six you missed that the rest felt like a blur. Maybe the problem was that you had been overthinking the test this entire time.

“I did it,” you breathed out to the woman at the counter, still in disbelief. “I passed.”

“Congratulations,” she replied with little enthusiasm. She turned to grab papers from her printer, stapled them together, and handed you your brand new permit. “Have a nice day now.”

“Thank you so much,” you replied, slightly distracted as you inspected your learner’s permit with wide eyes.

You had been waiting for this day for so long, and here you were, holding the permit you had spent years trying to obtain. You could only imagine how thrilled your parents and friends would be once they found out.

Speaking of friends, when you checked your phone, you saw that Junhui had texted you five minutes ago that he was parked outside. He probably expected you to walk out with a gloomy expression and slumped shoulders, but you had a skip in your step this time. You finally had good news for your best friend.

“Jun!” you yelled before you even opened the door to the passenger’s seat. “Jun, Jun, Jun, Jun!”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he said sympathetically, but something about his automatic response definitely felt practiced, “you’ll get it next time.”

“No, Jun, I passed!”

His eyes went wide. “You did?!”

“I did!” You squealed and practically jumped into the seat. Sinking back, a wide grin stretched across your face. “I finally did it.”

“Yo, congrats.” Junhui grinned. “I guess the seventh time really is the charm, huh?” He started his car to pull out of the parking lot. “Well, now you just have to pass the driving test.”

Your face fell.

You had been thinking about the permit test for so long that you forgot there was an actual driving component, too.

First of all, you had never driven a vehicle in your life, not even illegally with friends. Second of all, you had terrible depth perception, which was probably not a great flaw to have if you wanted to drive. Thirdly, everything you prepared for the permit test had completely ejected from your brain. Your road sense was back to utterly clueless.

“I’m gonna fail,” you said, defeated. “Jesus Christ, Jun, I didn’t even think about the actual driving test!”

“Relax, driving’s easy once you get the hang of it,” he replied. “What you should really be worrying about is how expensive those lessons are.”

“How much are they?”

“Uh, like, close to a few hundred.”

“Total?”

“No, per lesson.”

“Per lesson?!” you cried. “Just for someone to tell me where to turn and brake? I can’t afford that!”

“I’m guessing most of it is because they’re willingly sitting in a car with someone who doesn’t know shit about driving,” he explained, “but, yeah, it’s a crazy price. You do need to get that license before your permit expires, though, and you should probably get it done while you’re still here for college so you don’t run over the elementary schoolers back home.”

You buried your face in your hands and let out a loud groan. “How am I gonna dish out hundreds of dollars? I don’t have that kind of money to spend when I have rent to pay off.”

The corner of Junhui’s mouth lifted, more so exasperated than amused when he said, “I think I might know a guy.”

Kwon Soonyoung.

Junhui sent you his number after he dropped you off at your apartment. Apparently, Soonyoung was one of his good friends who also happened to have a side gig where he gave out driving lessons at a discounted price. Of course, the downside was that Soonyoung wasn’t exactly certified to teach people how to drive, but he was allegedly a good driver.

His lessons were normally for high schoolers, and he charged their parents around a hundred. For adults over the age of 21, though, he had a special offer that you couldn’t resist.

You texted him to ask if he had any open spots for you. He took a few days to reply, but you eventually got a two-hour slot for the next week. You weren’t sure how effective his lessons would be, but you figured you would give it a shot since he was your age and giving out classes for cheap.

When the day of your lessons rolled around, you were slightly anxious while you were waiting for him to arrive. You needed Junhui to reassure you for hours last night, promising that no, Soonyoung was not going to kidnap and murder you. He was a student at your university, actually, and he was a public health major who never had a murderous thought in his life.

soonyoung (driving instructor): i’m outside your house

Okay, if he wasn’t a murderer, then the least he could do was not text you like one.

After replying with an omw that autocorrected to On my way! and left you feeling very distressed that your communication sounded overly-enthusiastic, you worked up the courage to walk outside to his Honda Accord.

“Hi,” you greeted shyly when you opened the door. “You’re Soonyoung, right?”

Honestly, you didn’t care if he was Soonyoung or not. The man sitting in the driver’s seat was probably one of the most attractive people you had ever laid eyes on. Even if he wasn’t Kwon Soonyoung, you would happily let him kidnap you. Maybe you’d even blush a little because he picked you of all people to kidnap.

He turned to look at you, seeming a little surprised that you opened the door but smiling nevertheless. “Yeah, that’s me. You’re Y/N?”

When you nodded, he got out of the driver’s seat and motioned for you to take it. You skirted around the car to sit inside while Soonyoung took the passenger’s seat.

You also got a glance of his off-brand, beige Fear of God Essentials sweater that read M.I.L.F. Hunter instead. Classy.

“So, you came to me because you didn’t wanna give up your semester’s worth of college tuition for driving lessons,” Soonyoung said with an overwhelming air of confidence.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You huffed. “Here, I heard this was your payment.”

You handed him a paper bag, not bothering to take out the receipt from the dispensary. Inside was the King Louis XIII STIIZY pod. One gram.

“Ah, good. You know your stuff.”

Soonyoung hummed as he examined the box, and you were just wondering when he would get to business and start showing you the controls in his car. You were slightly overwhelmed by his impressively relaxed demeanor. Maybe it would have been better if you settled for an uptight woman in her sixties. Pretty boys were always trouble.

“You made the right choice coming to me. I’m a much better driver than those hags from the driving schools around here,” he continued. It was like he could read your mind; it was almost terrifying. “Plus, way less likely that I’ll get a heart attack in the passenger’s seat.”

He was a total weirdo, but he was hot, so you supposed it canceled out in some obscure, mathematical sense.

“That’s… good to hear, I think,” you replied. “So, are you, like, good at this?”

“Are you kidding? I’m basically the Lebron of driving.”

“I see.” You nodded along, unsure. “I don’t watch football, so…”

“He plays basketball, but close enough.”

After spending about thirty minutes explaining all of the controls—from hand signals, to the dashboard, to the indicator—Soonyoung decided it was time for you to start driving on your own. You didn’t expect to move this quickly; actually, you didn’t think you’d even start driving until your second lesson. Thankfully, you gathered most of what Soonyoung had taught you, so you mustered up the courage to press your foot on the brakes and move the gear shift into drive.

You looked over at Soonyoung expectantly, waiting for him to give you the green light to start driving. The boy only raised a brow at you, wondering why you hadn’t started driving yet.

“Today would be nice,” he remarked.

“Uh, should I start now?”

“Sorry, I don’t have a starting pistol for you or anything.” He made a finger gun with his hand and pretended to fire. “On your mark, get set—”

“Okay, going,” you replied quickly, flushing with embarrassment. You pressed down on the accelerator and gasped as the car lurched forward. “Sorry!”

“Slowly!” Soonyoung cried out, holding onto the ‘oh shit’ handle, which you found highly unnecessary and felt somewhat offended about. “Press down slowly—gentle.”

The next hour of your lessons was a learning curve, to say the least. In your defense, it was your very first time driving, so you didn’t know you were actually supposed to look behind you before you switched lanes. Although Soonyoung kept reminding you, his instructions kept slipping your mind because you were focusing on several things at once.

You sucked.

You were probably honked at around eight times and flipped off twice. It was a humbling experience, really. There was only so much a DMV victim could take, so you eventually had to pull over and try not to cry while Soonyoung consoled you.

“C’mon, you probably didn’t even do anything wrong. It’s just their road rage,” he said, trying to duck his head to get a better look at you while you had your hands covering your face. “Plus, all those assholes were driving way over the speed limit. You were the responsible one back there.”

You sniffled, sucking in a shuddering breath before you gathered your composure. It wasn’t like you to be so vulnerable in front of a stranger like this, but it was probably the nerves of your first time driving coupled with the nerves of driving (and potentially damaging) someone else’s car.

“You’re right.” You wiped at your damp cheek. “Fuck them. They couldn’t pass a driving test if they tried.”

“Well, technically, they already have.”

“Not helping.”

He smirked. “Are you good to keep driving? Or do you wanna wrap this session up for today?”

“Let’s keep going.” You set the car in drive again, but you looked over at Soonyoung before you did anything else. “Thanks, by the way. I’m guessing most of your students don’t usually pull over to cry during their lesson.”

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t say it’s happened before, but it’s not a bad thing.”

It was a good thing that you were able to hide your blush from Soonyoung. With the clearly embarrassing impression you were making on him, it would have been mortifying if he found out that he was also making you flustered.

For the next thirty minutes, you slowly started to get more comfortable behind the wheel. Soonyoung was thankfully not overbearing as most instructors normally were, so you didn’t end up flinching every time he spoke.

He made light conversation to make you feel at ease, which you appreciated greatly. At first, you just nodded or hummed in response, as you were too afraid to do anything but stare at the road ahead, but you eventually steeled your nerves and replied with actual words. Soonyoung was a natural conversationalist, so you didn’t have to worry about your awkward pauses or stumbling over your words. He led the conversation, sharing random tidbits of his life that you wouldn’t expect to hear from someone the first time you met them.

Everything seemed to be going perfectly normal until Soonyoung started queuing songs to play.

The problem wasn’t the music. The problem was that Soonyoung had stopped teaching you to drive, allowing you to fend for your life while he sat back and relaxed. You weren’t sure if normal people were able to loosen up so easily while being driven by a complete amateur.

Soonyoung must’ve been from a different planet, you decided. Some planet out there that deemed him the Lebron of driving.

“Uh,” you started, “aren’t you gonna tell me where to go?”

Soonyoung opened his mouth, as if he was going to ask what you meant, but then his demeanor completely shifted.

“Pull over to the curb,” he instructed, “now.”

“What?” Your pulse raced, and you were scared that you had fucked up somehow. You checked your mirrors to make sure you hadn’t cut anyone off or anything, but there was no one behind you. Swallowing thickly, you pulled over to the curb as best as you could and parked the car, shooting your driving instructor a nervous glance. “Did I do something wr—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Soonyoung whispered, silencing you with a wave of his hand. “This is the best part.”

Your jaw clenched as Olivia Rodrigo’s vocals were drowned out by Soonyoung’s off-key singing. This was why he wanted you to pull over?

“I knew we weren’t perfect but I’ve never felt this way for no one!” he belted out. “C’mon, sing with me—oh, and I just can’t imagine how you could be so okay now that I’m gone!”

You folded your arms across your chest. With a reluctant sigh, you gave in and started singing along with Soonyoung.

You weren’t exactly ready for your driving test, but after two more lessons with Soonyoung, you felt more confident about being on the road. Sure, you almost ran over a pedestrian once and drove on the wrong side of the road the other day, but at least you were capable of handling a vehicle mostly by yourself.

There were times where you wondered if your driving lessons would be more productive with a proper instructor, not Soonyoung. He surely knew how to drive (save for when he went over the speed limit and only slowed down when he saw a cop car), but he was more focused on messing around instead of actually teaching you. You were pretty sure that he saved his proper instruction for high school students with parents, and you were just someone he liked to mess around with.

That didn’t stop you from scheduling another lesson with him, though. It was going to be another trip to the dispensary for you.

“How’re the driving lessons going?” Junhui asked, still nose-deep in his anatomy textbook.

The two of you were preparing for your upcoming midterms in a study room, but all you could think about was the little notification on your phone screen telling you that Soonyoung requested to follow you on Instagram. How long were you supposed to wait until you accepted his request? Would it be weird if you followed him back right away?

“I can’t parallel park, but I know all the lyrics to ‘Driver’s License’ by Olivia Rodrigo now,” you answered. “I’ve also been honked at thirteen times.”

You counted. Mostly because each honk kept you up at night, staring up at your popcorn ceiling, wondering why everyone (a driver who probably didn’t even remember your face) hated you.

“Ah,” Junhui mused, smiling a little to himself, “so it’s going well.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” you mumbled. “But he’s nice. He doesn’t make me feel like crying. I think my dad would make me cry.”

Your phone buzzed while Junhui started going off on a tangent about how your dad was, indeed, a scary man. (There was an incident during parent’s weekend in freshman year where your father walked into your dorm room to see Junhui sitting on your bed. Completely misunderstanding the situation, your poor friend got lectured for almost an hour.) Soonyoung’s contact name flashed across your screen, and you were itching to read his text.

Once you and Junhui settled back into studying, you turned on your phone to check your messages.

soonyoung (driving instructor): i see you in the first floor study room soonyoung (driving instructor): come to the second floor study room for a good time

Terrifying. But you were intrigued.

After excusing yourself for a moment, making some lame excuse about needing to use the bathroom, you slipped out of your study room to head upstairs. You realized you had never actually seen Soonyoung on campus before, so a strange feeling of excitement consumed you, making your body feel light and your chest feel giddy.

Outside one of the study rooms, you heard echoes of laughter and conversation, which made you feel instantly nervous. You were invited, though, so you steeled your nerves and opened the door cautiously.

“Hi,” you greeted quietly, glancing over at the three strangers before your eyes landed on Soonyoung, who grinned once he saw you.

The four of them weren’t exactly studying. Two of them were fiddling with the flatscreen fixed to the wall, trying to connect a Nintendo Switch to it; one of them was sliding joy-cons into controllers; and Soonyoung, who had his legs kicked up on the table previously, was standing up to walk over to you.

“You came!” His tone made it seem like he was doubtful that you’d actually show up, so you were glad to prove him wrong. “Oh, yeah, this is Seungcheol and Mingyu”—he gestured toward the two who were setting up the TV, and then he pointed at the guy with the joy-cons—“and this is Seungkwan.”

“Hey,” the three of them chorused in broken unison.

“Wanna play Smash Bros with us?” Soonyoung asked. “Perchance.”

“You can’t just say ‘perchance,’ dude,” one of the guys setting up the TV said.

“I think it’s applicable, Mingyu,” the other guy said, whom you now deduced was Seungcheol. “Conceivably.”

“There’s no reason for either of you to use the words ‘perchance’ or ‘conceivably’ at all,” Seungkwan chimed in.

“Ignore them,” Soonyoung said, holding the door open wider for you before you even gave him an answer. “They’re just idiots.”

“You’re the biggest idiot here!” Seungcheol protested. He turned to you and explained, “He’s, like, the final boss idiot.”

Mingyu snickered. “Final idiot.”

You found yourself giggling a little, distracted by their banter as you walked inside the room and sat down in one of the empty chairs. Soonyoung slid into the one next to you, even though he was sitting next to Seungkwan earlier. You were glad that none of his friends made you feel like your presence was strange or unwelcome, but you still couldn’t help but feel awkward.

While Soonyoung was asking Seungcheol if he had finished connecting his Switch to the TV, you pulled out your phone to text Junhui.

y/n: i’m playing smash bros??? with soonyoung on the second floor y/n: wanna join?

jun: my anatomy midterm is in 3 days, 2 hours, and 26 minutes and all i know rn is that tissues are to wipe my tears after i fail this exam, negative feedback is all im getting back from my professor, and brain cells r what im deficient in

y/n: ok damn i’ll take that as a no

jun: i’ll be in here for the next 3 days whenever u decide to come back

y/n: it’ll take an hour tops y/n: pls don’t camp here for 3 whole days

“Jun’s not coming,” you announced.

You heard a chorus of groans.

Great. They were all Wen Junhui fanboys.

After Mingyu and Seungcheol finished setting up the Nintendo Switch, you watched Soonyoung and Seungkwan play the first match. Seungkwan chose Villager (which was sort of fitting for him, actually) and Soonyoung chose Donkey Kong. You honestly had no idea how Smash Bros worked, so you were completely lost while you watched their characters fly around and knock each other off the platform.

Soonyoung was screaming at one point, threatening Seungkwan with several promises to knock him out, which never happened. Seungkwan, taking a calmer approach, focused on using several commands while Soonyoung was already jumping out of his chair and on the floor. Mingyu and Seungcheol were on the sidelines, yelling out strategies for them at random and laughing occasionally.

The match ended with Seungkwan being victorious. Soonyoung had gotten so riled up during the game, but he took his defeat like a champ, congratulating his friend and laughing off his loss.

You were just amused at how quickly he switched up.

“You want a turn?” Soonyoung asked you, handing you his controller.

You hesitated. “Uh, I’m not really good at these kinds of games.”

“I’ll help you.”

You were up against Mingyu. He was a formidable opponent at first glance, but you hoped he wasn’t as competitive as the others. Maybe he would show you mercy because it was your first time playing.

You held the controller with stiffly-bent arms, holding it up like you were reading a map. Soonyoung didn’t laugh at you, to your relief, but he gently pushed your hands down and showed you what all of the controls were.

You chose the pink blob named Kirby. You weren’t a gamer by any means, so you had no idea what purpose the pink blob served other than being cute. No one judged you for your selection, though, which you assumed was a good sign.

“Don’t go easy on me,” you mumbled to Mingyu, who grinned in response.

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

Your heart raced when the countdown started. It felt like the longest three seconds of your life, and you were starting to regret choosing Kirby, who looked harmless in comparison to Mingyu’s character: Samus. You kept telling yourself that it was okay if you lost; you knew how to handle failure since you were pretty bad at virtually everything.

Soonyoung was cheering for your victory as soon as the match started. He was an absolute angel for doing so, but you were afraid you were going to disappoint him.

In Mingyu’s defense, you did tell him not to go easy on you. Unfortunately, the guy really wasn’t holding back at all. In the blink of an eye, you were already astral projecting off the screen.

“Oh,” was all you could say.

Maybe you should have swallowed down your pride and asked Mingyu to go easy on you.

Seungcheol playfully punched his friend’s shoulder. “C’mon, dude, it’s her first time.”

“Yeah, why’re you being a dick?” Seungkwan joined in, seeming more excited over having an excuse to target Mingyu than to actually defend you.

“She told me not to go easy on her!” he exclaimed, but no one allowed the poor boy to stand up for himself. With a pout, he turned to you and said, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.” You laughed. “I’m just bad at this.”

“Here, I’ll help you for the next round.” Soonyoung scooted closer to you until his knee brushed against yours. You couldn’t help but feel a little hot all of a sudden, but you made no effort to move away.

The next round started with you dropping from the revival platform. You felt like your brain went into autopilot. You just heard Soonyoung talking in your ear while his fingers kept brushing against yours, telling you which controls were best for fighting Samus. Everything was going in one ear and out the other; you were so flustered that you could hardly think straight.

You snapped back into reality when you heard three of them screaming, and you looked over with wide eyes to see Mingyu looking shell-shocked himself.

You won.

Soonyoung smiled. “See? You’re a natural.”

“No, it was all you,” you replied, shaking your head. It really was all thanks to Soonyoung because you had no idea what the hell you did. “It was probably just beginner’s luck.”

But, even so, a smile tugged at your lips, and you felt elated from your triumph. You thought back to Soonyoung’s hands brushing against yours, nearly swamping yours in comparison, and your chest felt a little warm.

A little too warm.

You put a pause on driving for a week and a half, informing Soonyoung that you had to focus on midterms before you could think about your driving lessons. Both caused you extreme distress, so you needed to cut one out temporarily.

Junhui really did camp out in the library for three entire days. You brought him food every day and forced him to go back to his apartment to take a shower. When you watched over his study room for him, Soonyoung would swing by and ask how you were doing.

Brief interactions, but they were nice.

You managed to get through your midterms without a single cry session in a bathroom stall. It was honestly a bigger success than your first Smash Bros win.

Soonyoung and you grew a little closer. Two weeks ago, if someone told you that you would be FaceTiming your driving instructor every night before bed, you wouldn’t believe them for a second. Mostly because you assumed you would get a driving instructor who was pushing retirement age, and video calling someone that old at night sounded a little concerning and borderline adulterous.

You learned a lot about him. His go-to breakfast or midnight snack was Frosted Flakes, and he felt a little empty inside if there wasn’t a box of the cereal in his cabinet. He was loud most of the time, but he often got shy or quiet in loud settings; it was highly dependent on the crowd he was with. His love language was sending you pictures of cute animals and saying it was you two. (You also didn’t like calling this a “love language” because that implied there was something deeper than platonic feelings, which you were too afraid to come to terms with.)

“You have to start driving again now that your midterms are over,” Soonyoung said over the phone one night. He was sulking while you were doing your skincare routine, keeping your phone propped up on your desk. “You’re gonna start forgetting what you learned, and then we’re gonna be back to square one.”

He was (slightly) high tonight and you were the first person he called.

You were pretty sure that had to mean something. Unfortunately, you were too guarded to connect the pieces that were laid out perfectly for you.

“You just miss me, huh?” you joked.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

Nothing could have prepared you for that response.

You felt your cheeks burn, and you had to physically turn around to hide whatever expression was betraying you. You pretended to examine something behind you, but there was clearly nothing there, so you just looked like an idiot.

You didn’t know what you were feeling. There was a clear difference in your emotions when you spoke to Soonyoung versus when you spoke to his friends.

You didn’t want to compare Soonyoung to Junhui, who you knew since middle school, but you knew that you didn’t feel anything funny in your chest when you interacted with Seungcheol, Seungkwan, or Mingyu. They were great to be around, of course, but it was only Soonyoung who made you walk with a little skip in your step.

You hadn’t had a proper crush in years. Now, you felt like you were overthinking everything and analyzing every little interaction that could possibly be meaningless.

It had only been a few weeks, but you supposed there was no exact timeline for these sorts of things—whatever this thing was.

Whatever it was, though, you were in danger.

“Tomorrow, then,” you said once you regained a sliver of your composure. “Pick me up after your classes.”

“Sure.” He rested his chin in his palm, staring at you with an amused expression. “I’ll bring flowers.”

Possible Ways To Respond: 1. “You’re too sweet! Thank you.” 2. “Flowers? What’s the occasion?” 3. “Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special, huh?”

You went with a secret fourth option.

“Please don’t. I’m allergic.”

True to his word, Soonyoung picked you up after his classes the next day.

You were pretty sure your lessons had gone over the regular quota, so you stopped by at the dispensary earlier to pick up another pod for Soonyoung. He didn’t look as though he was expecting anything when you got in the driver’s seat, though. In fact, he was perplexed when you handed him the paper bag.

“What’s this?” he asked, growing sheepish.

“Your payment,” you replied. “Also, I sort of lied about being allergic to flowers. I’m not allergic to flowers. I don’t know why I said that. I’m allergic to penicillin, though, but I don’t think that sounds remotely close to ‘flowers.’ Maybe I got confused? I don’t know.”

If this was an otome game, you had surely picked the bad relationship ending. Soonyoung’s face fell a little—just enough for you to notice—and you immediately felt guilt swallowing you whole. You meant for your words to sound lighthearted, but maybe they didn’t come across that way.

But, at the same time, you didn’t know where you stood. Wouldn’t it have been unfair to not repay Soonyoung for the lessons? Was it unreasonable that you weren’t actually expecting him to bring you flowers for no reason?

Soonyoung recovered quickly, though, his smiling eyes crinkling at the corners. “So I can bring you flowers.”

“Hypothetically, you could.”

“But you don’t have to pay me anymore.” He looked into the paper bag, examining the STIIZY pod before scoffing. “If I keep stocking up on these, people are gonna think I’m a stoner.”

“Well, I have to pay you for the lessons somehow,” you said. “So, if you don’t want the pods anymore, then I’ll have to start sending you money. I mean, what about gas?”

“You don’t have to worry about my gas tank.” He chuckled at your words and sat back to get comfortable. “What you should worry about is not hitting the curb.”

You flushed hotly. “Right.”

The first hour went smoothly. Soonyoung was impressed that you were gradually getting more and more comfortable behind the wheel, and he even congratulated you for changing lanes without muttering prayers under your breath. You were beginning to feel less overwhelmed with everything you were supposed to focus on, and you were certain that you were so close to everything clicking at once.

That was, until a car crashed right into you on a local road.

Thankfully, you and the other driver weren’t going too fast, but the force was sure to leave a dent in Soonyoung’s car. The collision wasn’t hard, by any means, but the impact jerked your body forward so that your mouth hit the steering wheel. The sting of pain radiated throughout your gums seconds later, and you winced and cradled your jaw.

You immediately bubbled with rage as you pulled over to the curb, knowing that you had the right of way and he was supposed to stop and wait for you to pass, but you were still stiff with shock. Soonyoung’s eyes were fierce, looking back at the driver as if he was about to cuss him out, but then he turned his attention to you.

Before you could feel immense, crushing guilt over crashing Soonyoung’s car, you whipped your head around to make sure he wasn’t hurt. You wouldn’t be surprised if he completely ghosted you after this. You were probably the worst student he had ever come across, which was saying a lot considering most of his students were high school teenagers.

“Y/N, are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked, sounding as frantic as his hands were. You felt his palm against your cheek and his other hand atop your head, making sure you weren’t hurt anywhere.

“Are you okay?” you blurted out. Your breathing was erratic, and you hardly registered the metallic taste of blood in your mouth. “Oh god. Your car. Oh god, I—”

“It’s okay, Y/N, it’s not your fault,” he said. “You had the right of—”

When he turned to look at you again, he just stared, eyes wide and jaw hanging open—almost comically. It almost looked like he was more bewildered by you than the fact that his car was rammed into by another car.

He was wordless for far too long that you had to ask, “Everything okay?”

Maybe that was a stupid question. Clearly, everything wasn’t okay, and it had everything to do with the fact that you two had gotten into a car crash.

“I think you loth a tooth,” he lisped—a seemingly joking remark, but his expression was dead serious.

For a split second, a laugh bubbled up in your mouth. You thought Soonyoung must have been messing with you, but it was ridiculous that he could joke around in such a situation. It was when you touched your lip and pulled your hand back to see blood, though, that cold reality washed over you.

Your eyes went wide as saucers as you turned to examine your teeth in the rear-view mirror.

The worst possible thing that could happen to a woman was happening to you right now.

Your front left tooth was gone.

“I-it’s not that bad,” Soonyoung tried, although he sounded unconvinced himself. “It’s cute! It’s like, uh, that dragon—from, uh… How to Train Your Dragon.”

Your eyes were burning and your throat was closing up, but tonguing the bloodied gap between your teeth sent you over the edge. You had tears streaming down your cheeks and you were gripping the wheel so hard that your knuckles turned pale.

“Toothleth?” you cried, which led to a few choked sobs when you realized that you had a lisp now. Then, you were full-on crying into your hands because sure, you could get over being the reason why Soonyoung’s car had a dent in it, but you were pretty sure there was no replacing a missing tooth. The more you cried, though, the worse you felt as you tasted the blood and heard the faint whistles coming from the gap in your teeth. “I’m tho thupid!”

Soonyoung was clearly short-circuiting, but you could tell he was desperate to calm you down by the way he was rubbing your back in soothing circles. “Y/N, you’re not stupid. It's okay, we just—”

“Thoonyoung!”

Soonyoung slapped his hand over his mouth to suppress his laughter. He was trying to take you seriously, but the little bursts of laughter that bubbled up in his throat were betraying him.

You swallowed down your sob and continued, “Ith not okay! I loth my tooth!”

“Okay, no more talking,” he ordered. “I know you’re very hurt right now, but you’re gonna feel even worse if I start laughing at your lisp, so don’t make this harder for me.”

You scowled at him, but you kept your mouth shut because Soonyoung was right; you were not in the proper headspace to be laughed at right now.

“Okay, I’m gonna go outside and talk to the driver who ran into us,” he explained slowly. “I want you to calm your breathing and find your missing tooth. We can drive to the dentist right after, okay?”

You sniffled and nodded, craning your neck to watch Soonyoung get out of the car to talk to the driver. Then, you sucked in a sharp breath and examined the floor to find your loose tooth. Lo and behold, it was laying next to the gas pedal. You cringed as you picked it up, frowning at how bloody it was in your palm. There were a few napkins in Soonyoung’s glove compartment, so you wrapped your tooth in one and kept it in your pocket.

You heard some yelling from the other driver—something about having kids in the back and how you were going way too fast—and it all just made you feel worse. You felt horrible that Soonyoung had to deal with the repercussions, and after they exchanged insurances and the guy drove off, you got out of the car to see the damage.

Surely enough, there was a decent-sized dent in the side of his car. It was right where the back door opened, and you burst into tears at the sight of it. Soonyoung wouldn’t have to deal with all of this if he wasn’t teaching you to drive.

Still, he wrapped his arms around your shaking body and pulled you in close. He rested his chin on top of your head and sighed.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “The insurance will cover the damage. You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“What about my tooth?”

“Okay, maybe there’s one thing to worry about.”

You leaned into his touch when you felt his hand carding through your hair. His motions were slow and gentle, as if he was trying hard to make sure you didn’t notice the gesture. You did, though, and you appreciated it.

You started, “I’m—”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” he interrupted. You thought he was going to say something cheesy about how you had nothing to apologize for, but he continued, “You’re gonna say thorry, and I’m not gonna be able to take you seriously.”

With your face buried in his chest, you reached your hand out to punch his shoulder.

Still, despite his snarky comment and the emotional distress you were experiencing over your missing tooth, a big smile crossed your face and his embrace left a warm, fluttery feeling in your stomach.

Your heart was beating so fast that you almost thought it would stop.

“Ew,” was Wen Junhui’s first reaction upon seeing your swollen lip. You could only see the top half of his face over FaceTime, but you were sure he had a look of disgust on. “You look terrible.”

“Thanks,” you replied dryly, holding an ice pack to your cheek.

Before Soonyoung drove you to a dentist, he scolded you for leaving your tooth wrapped up in a tissue. Apparently, your tooth was going to be fucked if it dried up, so his solution was to leave it in his half-empty water bottle that was left sitting in his car. You weren’t quite sure about this, but the dentist informed you that Soonyoung saved your front tooth.

If he was with you in the room, you probably could’ve kissed him then and there—bloody mouth and all.

Thankfully, since you didn’t fracture or break any part of the tooth, the dentists were able to replant it into your gums without any complications. They told you it was a good thing you went straight to the dentist instead of waiting. Your front tooth would’ve been a lost cause if you waited another hour.

It was really all thanks to Soonyoung.

The procedure was quick and you were told that your avulsed tooth would be back to normal in about a week. The news filled you with relief because you were so sure you were going to be toothless for the rest of your life.

Not that it was a bad thing. While Soonyoung was driving you to the dentist prior to the replantation, you had come to terms with the fact that you would be missing a front tooth for the rest of your life. You would grow old and tell your children the harrowing tale of how you got your driver’s license and sacrificed your front tooth for it.

It couldn’t be all that horrible. Maybe you would grow an affinity for whistling.

Thankfully, that was all just your overthinking and your tooth was probably fine now. In seven days, everything was supposed to go back to normal, so you had your fingers crossed for a full recovery.

“Of course that would happen to you.” Junhui laughed at your misery. “Shit like this only happens to you.”

“Yeah, I get it. I’m the pinnacle of terrible luck.”

“So, what happened after? Did you make out with Soonyoung or something?”

“No!” you exclaimed. Your cheeks started to burn just at the thought. “How do you expect me to make out with someone when I look like this? Soonyoung drove me home like a gentleman. He’s not into me like that.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t think I’ll be seeing him for a while, anyway. I don’t wanna start driving again until my tooth is fine.”

“Then maybe you can go on a different kind of ride with him instead.”

“You need to stop.”

You didn’t see Soonyoung much over the next week. He told you that he had a few papers to finish before his schedule would clear up, so you were only able to text him occasionally and see him in passing, exchanging a greeting before one of you had to go.

You saw his friends a lot, though. They were always in the study room next to the one you and Junhui liked to use, so you would stop by their room often to see what they were up to. They were usually either messing around or using the whiteboard for everything but its intended purpose, so you enjoyed taking study breaks with them. Junhui was the type to not take breaks because he was locked in on his work once he got in the zone, so Soonyoung’s friends were a breath of fresh air.

Your Current Opinions on Soonyoung’s Friends:

Mingyu: Kind. Approached you whenever he saw you. Pleasant conversations. Swiped up on your Snapchat stories sometimes. Was unfortunately the only person you forgot to block from your story once when you posted a semi-thirst trap just for Soonyoung’s eyes.

Seungcheol: Friendly whenever he talked to you. A little awkward because you once saw him taking selfies at the gym instead of working out.

Seungkwan: Not super buddy-buddy but sweet enough. Liked making fun of Soonyoung with you. He brought you McDonald’s once and you imagined a future with him momentarily.

Word also got around that your front tooth had been knocked out clean. Seungcheol let it slip when he accidentally referred to you as ‘Toothless’ the other day. You made a mental note to kill Soonyoung later.

The next time you ran into your driving instructor on campus was outside one of your lecture halls. You walked out in the middle of class to fill up your hydroflask. It was especially hot today, and you were seconds away from heat exhaustion. Soonyoung’s brows lifted in pleasant surprise once he saw you, and he missed his elevator to walk up to you.

“Whoa.” You paused for a moment, unblinking. “I keep forgetting you go here.”

“I’m the hall monitor.”

“This is college. We don’t have hall monitors.”

“Self-elected,” was his response. “Speaking of, I don’t see your bathroom pass.”

“I’m not going to the bathroom. I’m filling up my water. Anyway, why would I—”

“Just this once, I’ll let you off with a warning,” he interjected, pulling out a card from the pocket of his jeans. He handed it to you, and you accepted it after a moment of hesitation. “There’s your bathroom pass. Don’t let me catch you loitering around here again.”

With that, Soonyoung walked off, leaving you utterly confused.

You flipped the business card around to see his name and number printed neatly in the middle, and you frowned in response. There was some other fine text on the back, but you didn’t take the time to read it properly as you were still baffled.

“I already have your number!” you called after him, but you just heard your driving instructor laugh to himself in response as he disappeared behind the elevator doors.

Later, after your classes ended, you went back to your study room with Junhui. He had been in the library since morning, deciding to skip his classes to prepare for his second round of midterms that he still had a few weeks for.

You told him about your encounter with Soonyoung, noting how strange it was that he casually had business cards on hand. Junhui asked to see the card, so you handed it over to him.

Upon closer inspection, Junhui raised his eyebrows, impressed. “Hall monitor rizz.”

“How was that rizz? He told me it was a bathroom pass and left.”

“Well, I’d consider it rizz since he’s asking you out on a date.”

Heat rose to your cheeks. “You think he’s asking me out on a date?”

“No, I know he’s asking you out on a date.” Junhui flipped Soonyoung’s business card around to show you the fine print: Schedule our first date with the number provided on the other side of this card. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Says it right here. He’s just shy, Y/N.”

“Shy? Him? He doesn’t look like the shy type.”

“He’s shy,” he affirmed, “around you, at least. I mean, you’d get shy around the person you liked, wouldn’t you?”

“I guess, but…” you trailed off, shaking your head. “No, this is normal, right? Dates are normal. We’re just two normal adults going on a normal date. Nothing weird about that, right? I shouldn’t feel so weird about this. Do I sound weird? Am I weird?”

You didn’t realize you had gotten up and started pacing until you turned to see Junhui looking at you with concern hanging in his brows. You sucked in a sharp breath and sank back into your seat, burying your face in your hands.

“I’m in way over my head,” you mumbled.

“You’re nervous ‘cause you have a crush on him,” he replied. “Nothing weird about that.”

“I have a crush on him,” you echoed, more so to yourself than to Junhui.

Although you were partly in denial, still tossing and turning the prospect of crushing on Soonyoung around in your head, Junhui took your words as confirmation. He hummed knowingly and turned back to his textbook, leaving you to ruminate for the next thirty minutes in silence before you excused yourself.

You were currently speed walking to your usual bus stop, hoping you would be able to stop thinking about Soonyoung and the business card tucked into your pocket. However, you couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of you developing a tiny crush on him.

You hadn’t had a proper crush in ages. The last time you had strong feelings for someone was in high school, which promptly ended following your first date—after an eight month talking stage. You proposed going to the fair, which seemed fine until you threw up on the ferris wheel and received an ‘I don’t think this is going to work out’ text later that night.

And why were you so flustered over this, anyway? After all, you had been anticipating the day Soonyoung would make the first move. Plus, you were an adult; overthinking your feelings like this was so high school.

Whatever. You had nothing to lose.

You pulled out your phone to text Soonyoung, a small smile crossing your face once you caught sight of his profile picture again. It was a picture of him with all his hair flying every which way in the wind and his mouth open to yell some profanity.

y/n: date. y/n: this week any day

soonyoung (driving instructor): WHOA!!!!!!

y/n: what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day

soonyoung (driving instructor): tomorrow night

y/n: okay

soonyoung (driving instructor): okay

y/n: okay.

soonyoung (driving instructor): okay. soonyoung (driving instructor): can’t wait

y/n: me neither

soonyoung (driving instructor): pick you up at 8

y/n: i’ll be ready

soonyoung (driving instructor): i’ll be even more ready

Your heart didn’t stop pounding for the rest of the day.

To be a woman was to perform.

You were currently performing an illegal U-turn.

Soonyoung held onto the ‘oh shit’ handle fixed to the ceiling, his face contorted in absolute fear as he repeated, “Wrong lane, wrong lane, wrong lane, wrong lane, wrong lane—”

“Sorry!” you exclaimed, swerving back into your correct lane after checking your mirrors. You swallowed thickly before saying, “I’ve got it under control now, I think.”

Of course, you had been nervous the entire day and a half leading up to your date with Soonyoung, but how you felt right now had completely reigned over every emotion you were feeling before.

Throughout the day, you had butterflies in your stomach and a little skip to your step, but now you were terrified of things you had never even worried about before. The reason you took a U-turn in the first place was because Soonyoung told you that you missed the parking lot entrance, causing you to panic in the middle of the road (which, on your part, was not very smart.)

In short, Soonyoung should not have let you take the wheel, and you should not have gotten this worked up over him planning to take you to the local fair.

What were the odds that you were back in the place where you had an awful last date? You could almost feel the bile rising up your throat.

Soonyoung’s voice was unnaturally high-pitched when he asked, “A-are you sure you’re ready to schedule that driving test?”

“Yes! I’m ready,” you said, “but, to make things clear, my driving today is not representative of my driving any other day.”

Somehow, you and Soonyoung wound up making it to the fairgrounds’ parking lot in one piece. You deflated upon hearing the sigh of relief escape Soonyoung’s lips once the car was in park, but it was well deserved. You were surprised he even let you drive in the first place.

The fairgrounds were packed with people—mostly students—so there were several couples going around with their fingers interlocked. You were now hyper-aware of your fingertips, wondering if you’d get the chance to brush them against Soonyoung’s and slowly slide your hand into his.

He ended up paying for your ticket, and you didn’t have much room to argue about it because the employee was already taking his card before you even noticed. You told Soonyoung you would pay for something else—food, rides, raffle tickets—but he ended up covering everything for you. Of course, you were sure Junhui would have scolded you because turning down a guy paying for you was apparently equivalent to turning down the guy himself. So, you swallowed your pride and let Soonyoung take the lead.

You went on a few rides with Soonyoung, shared a churro, and you took a picture in front of the ferris wheel. You were having a great time, actually, and almost all of your nerves had all but melted away. All that was left to deem this a perfect date was to actually ride the ferris wheel, which was exactly what you were absolutely terrified of.

“Not good with heights?” Soonyoung asked as you two were getting into the seat, pulling down the lap bar for you two.

You wondered if you looked as ghastly as you felt. “Not so much.”

You weren’t good with a lot of things, to be fair.

Smooth talker Soonyoung took that as his opportunity to slip his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together with a shy smile on his face. “You can close your eyes if it gets scary, or just keep looking at me.”

Honestly, that sounded scarier than the possibility of plummeting to your death from the top of the ferris wheel. You weren’t sure your heart could handle staring at Soonyoung, especially with how flustered his gaze made you feel.

“Hey, could I ask you something?” you asked, nearly shying away when Soonyoung fixed his gaze on you. “When did you start liking me? I mean, I had no idea.”

“Uh…” The ride started moving backward as Soonyoung hummed in thought. “Probably that first time you were in my car?”

Your eyes went wide. “You mean our very first lesson?”

“Yeah, I thought you were cute—a little weird, but cute.” He grinned. “I think it was when you fell asleep over FaceTime that one night when I started catching feelings.”

Your cheeks burned. You weren’t sure if you could pinpoint a specific moment like he did; you just remembered your heart started beating faster when you saw him one day, and the rest was history. It was almost incredible how blindsided you were by his feelings, even though he had integrated himself into your daily life so naturally.

“And then you posted that one picture on your story once,” he continued, voice growing shy once he realized what he admitted out loud, “and that was when I knew I was really in too deep.”

You blanched with embarrassment. He must have been talking about the thirst trap because that was the only time you ever posted yourself so confidently. How were you going to explain that you blocked everyone else from your Snapchat story just for him to see that?

A nervous laugh bubbled from your lips. “About that—”

Before you could get any other words out, though, you became painfully aware of your surroundings. Your seat started swinging with the strong winds, and you realized that you were at the very top. If you leaned over enough, you were pretty sure your seat would tip over and drop you and Soonyoung right out. The very thought paralyzed you to the core.

Just as Soonyoung was in the middle of asking if you were okay, the ferris wheel started moving faster, and you yelped and clung onto him as you two went down. You were fine with the slow pace with breaks in between, but now that you were moving at full speed in one go, it was downright terrifying.

Soonyoung seemed to find it hilarious, though. He laughed and wrapped an arm around you while you were the very picture of fear. You buried your face into his chest and dug your nails in so hard that you were afraid he would feel them through his sweater.

Finally, it came to a stop. The ride operator started letting people out one seat at a time, but you and Soonyoung had ended up at the very top again. You raised your head to sit upright again, letting out an exasperated breath, but Soonyoung drew you closer. He was still laughing, and it made you blush uncontrollably.

“Just so you know, I’m good with any other ride!” you tried to defend yourself. “Well, actually, save for roller coasters and drop towers… oh, and—”

“Y/N,” Soonyoung cut you off with a smile, his voice hardly a murmur. Before, you could barely hear him over the excited cries and shouts in the fair, but now your attention had zeroed in on him. You felt disoriented as he placed his warm hand on your cheek, tilting his head and leaning in. “C’mere.”

You were too shy to admit it, but you had fantasized about making out with Soonyoung before. Of course, you never knew what type of kisser he was, so you just settled for whatever fantasy played out in your head.

Now, though, with his lips pressed against yours, you felt something hot and needy stir up inside you as he tugged you impossibly close to his body. Your stomach fluttered when you let slip a whimper, which Soonyoung didn’t let go unnoticed. He pulled back for a moment, his gaze darkening, promising to return to that later, and he returned to kissing you.

When you were almost near the ground, you and Soonyoung pulled away. There were definitely far too many children and parents around for you two to be kissing like that, but now you were anticipating how things would be once you two were alone.

“You two have fun?” the ride operator, who appeared to be an older teenager, asked with a teasing lilt to his voice.

All you could do was nod and duck your head in embarrassment while Soonyoung beamed brighter than the flashing lights.

You spent some more time with Soonyoung on a few more (tamer) rides before you two decided to call it a day. Your feet were getting sore, so he courteously offered to drive the both of you home. However, you had an itching feeling that he just didn’t want you behind the wheel again.

“Wanna get something to eat?” he asked once you both were inside the car, and he turned his head around as he reversed. “There’s a good froyo place down the street.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” you agreed quickly. Deep down, you were hoping this date wouldn’t end just yet.

Soonyoung played Olivia Rodrigo’s new album as he drove, rolling the window down so that the wind tousled his hair. You thought he looked cute that way, and you had to keep your hand under your thigh to keep it from reaching over and running it through his locks.

When he parked in front of the froyo place, it appeared completely dark inside. It was also evidently clear that the only cars parked in the lot were the overflow crowd of people from the fair who couldn’t get a parking spot at the fairgrounds.

“Did we miss it?” He frowned, pausing to look up the store hours on his iPhone. “Man. I didn’t want our date to end like this.”

“I don’t want it to end, either.”

Soonyoung looked over at you, studying your expression carefully before asking, “Do you wanna chill in the back for a while, then?”

You knew what that meant. And you had specifically worn your matching lingerie set just for this moment.

You unlatched your seatbelt, and Soonyoung followed suit right after. “Yeah, I’m down.”

“Wait, there’s something I need to do first,” Soonyoung said in a soft voice, looking down at you with gentle eyes.

For a moment, your heart jumped to your throat. The way he was looking at you sent butterflies to your stomach, and you couldn’t even imagine what he was going to do next. Something about his tone was so sincere that you were sure he was going to kiss you, especially when he started leaning down.

You let your eyes flutter shut, waiting for his soft lips to meet yours. Your heartbeat felt like a drum in your ears.

But nothing happened. No kiss. Nothing.

You opened your eyes to see what Soonyoung was doing. When you saw him hunched over, fiddling with something near his ankles, your face deadpanned—not a flicker of amusement.

Soonyoung had put his Crocs in sports mode.

First of all, wearing Crocs on the first date was absurd.

Second of all, putting your Crocs in sports mode on the first date was absolutely preposterous.

Yet, it was the perfect thing Soonyoung had done to put your nerves completely at ease. You ended up bursting into laughter at the very sight, making his head shoot up while his eyebrows were drawn together, perplexed. However, he happened to hit his head on the steering wheel as he did so, which only made you laugh even harder.

Your sudden surge of confidence spurred you to crawl over the gear stick and straddle his lap. Shocked, Soonyoung gripped your thighs and straightened up. Before his lip could curl up in amusement, you wrapped your arms around his neck and slotted your lips with his.

He broke for air for a moment, breathing out, “Well, hi.”

“Hi.” Your nose gently bumped against his. “Having second thoughts?”

“No!” he exclaimed, rubbing his hands up and down your sides. “I just didn’t wanna start anything because I wasn’t sure if you were ready.” He threw a glance over his shoulder before looking out the window. “Plus, this place isn’t exactly private.”

You looked out the window while Soonyoung’s warm hands returned to your thighs. It was true that there were empty cars around, but there weren’t any people in sight. It was still early in the night, so you were sure people would stay at the fairgrounds until midnight.

“Hey,” Soonyoung started again, “what was that you were gonna say on the ferris wheel? Before we, uh, made out.”

“Oh.” Shame bubbled in your chest when you realized what he was talking about. “Nothing important.”

“Tell me.”

Moonlight shone in from the window, illuminating the side of Soonyoung’s face and his neck, showing off his prominent collarbones. His low voice reached your core in a way you had never experienced before. You flushed with embarrassment because you were certain Soonyoung could feel how you clenched.

You looked out the window, as if you could mentally escape through it. Find a way to get out of the situation you were in.

“Fine.” He huffed lightly before placing a hand behind your neck and drawing you closer. “I’ll just get it out of you, then.”

Notably flustered, you gasped when Soonyoung’s lips latched onto the side of your neck, biting and sucking the tender skin. You croaked out some lame lie about forgetting what you were trying to say, but Soonyoung persisted. He ravaged the column of your neck like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

You scooted up on his lap, sitting right on top of his growing bulge, which roused a throaty groan from him. You could feel Soonyoung twitch under you, and it was all that was needed for you to start grinding your hips slowly on his lap. And then he started guiding your hips down onto him. Your breath hitched when you felt his fingers dig into the grooves of your hips to take control of your motions.

“Tell me,” he beseeched, and you shivered when you could feel his smile against your jawline.

You let out a whine. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, distracted as he looked up at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. His hands never left your hips as he watched you grind down on his lap. Soonyoung’s eyes were unfocused for a moment before clarity bled back into him. “It was about the Snapchat story, right? That one picture you posted.”

“I don’t remember what that was,” you attempted to lie smoothly, but you were pretty sure your expression betrayed you once Soonyoung slid a hand under your shirt to cup your chest.

“Yeah, you do. The one where you were wearing those thigh-high stockings.” You saw a flash of darkness in his eyes. “Can’t believe everyone got to see you like that.”

“I wouldn’t say everyone,” you muttered.

“Hm?”

His thumb, after his hand managed to creep under your bra, found purchase on your nipple, rolling and circling around the supple flesh as he pleased. You only managed to let out a cry before Soonyoung was pressing you further, ordering you to answer him before he made you fall apart.

You were so caught up in your own pleasure, practically chest-to-chest with Soonyoung, that you hardly noticed the knock on the window until Soonyoung jolted upright and straightened his back.

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, voice still thick with lust that was ebbing away. Thankfully, you both were still mostly clothed, but Soonyoung had his pants nearly down and you had your shirt riding up past your waist.

The officer stopped knocking to give Soonyoung the opportunity to roll the window down after he was decent. It was evidently an uncomfortable situation for both parties. You turned your head to the side, screwing your eyes shut and hoping you would blink out of existence if you tried hard enough. You never thought you would have a cop at your window before even getting your license.

“Hi,” he greeted sheepishly once the window was down. “Sorry, we’ll get going now.”

“Yeah, uh…” The officer trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck with a long-winded sigh. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but keep it in the bedroom, please.”

“Thanks…” Soonyoung trailed off, looking for some sort of identification tag.

“Officer Hong,” he answered flatly.

“Thanks, Officer Hong.”

“Don’t let me catch you two again.”

“Oh, probably not me, but once she gets her license then it’s over for—ow!” Soonyoung yelped when you pinched him in the side, effectively shutting him up. He immediately apologized, “Sorry, Officer Hong, it won’t happen again.”

The encounter with the police officer was awkward, yes, but somehow, Soonyoung was unfazed once you two had gotten off with the warning. He coolly looked up at you and asked if he could come over to your place tonight. You agreed, of course.

The drive home was perfectly fine. Soonyoung made sure you weren’t too startled by the officer and asked how you liked the fair. You thought it was all pleasant conversation that would continue once you were in your living room, but Soonyoung pinned you up against your front door as soon as you were inside.

His strong arms caged you in his hold, and you could only helplessly look up at him and warble out some pathetic question, asking if he wanted water or snacks. He turned the offer down, obviously.

Since you two had already gotten this far, you figured you might as well let Soonyoung in on your little secret. Although it was slightly humiliating to admit, you realized tonight that far more embarrassing things had happened to you.

“You really wanna know, don’t you?” When he nodded in response, you sighed and explained, “What I posted on my story… I blocked everyone else so that only you’d see it.”

Well, him and Mingyu, but the latter was purely accidental.

Hearing your words flipped a switch in Soonyoung and he completely froze up, as if he had stopped functioning altogether.

“Well, technically, you and Mingyu,” you rambled on, “but that’s only because I forgot to block him from my story. You know, I have, like, two hundred people on Snapchat, so I figured I’d accidentally skip over someone, anyway. But I don’t think he even paid any attention to it. I feel like he’d—”

He cut you off by sealing his lips over yours, and all the noise in your head simmered down. All the fluff filling up your brain billowed and sank back down. You remembered when you were a middle schooler, giggling and replaying the scenes in movies that were exactly like this. Now that you were actually living in it, though, you couldn’t get enough of Soonyoung.

He broke away for a breather, lips hanging barely an inch from yours and your foreheads touching. His heavily-lidded eyes found yours, gazing at you longingly through his lashes.

“No offense,” he started with a smirk, “but I don’t really care about Mingyu right now.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but you shut it as soon as you realized that you had nothing intelligent to contribute. You recognized that most of your mindless ramblings probably killed the mood—for you, at least.

He pressed a kiss to your cheek, then your jaw, then the side of your neck. As he moved down to your chest, Soonyoung’s kisses grew sloppier and open-mouthed. He tugged at your shirt, and you helped him remove it with ease, snapping your bra off in the process and letting it fall to the floor. His hungry gaze upon seeing you bare before him made you ache for more. Soonyoung let out a groan and let his tongue drag over your nipple, circling and flicking around the sensitive skin until you were moaning shamelessly.

With his head ducked so that his lips could ravage your chest, Soonyoung bent down just a little bit more to wrap his arms around your thighs. He scooped you up in his arms swiftly, making you yelp, and he walked you to your bedroom after you whispered where your room was. He was so strong that you hardly had to hold onto him, but his strength was a double-edged sword because he had you pinned down on your bed in seconds.

A grin crossed Soonyoung’s face as his lips returned to your chest. This time, his lips made their way down your body, to your stomach. You curled your hand in his hair, tugged hard because you wanted more, but Soonyoung was relentless with his teasing. He pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses that made you squirm under him and ache for more. They were slow and torturous, and you only grew more needy as he made his way down.

“Can I take these off?” he asked, fingers slipping into the waistband of your pants.

“Only if you take your clothes off, too.”

You heard him chuckle before you felt cold air starting to hit your bare skin. Soonyoung unzipped your pants and tugged them down your legs until they were bunched up at your ankles, which you struggled to kick off until he bent down to move the fabric off your heel. You shuddered when he snapped the band of your underwear, hooking his fingers at the sides and twisting the fabric. He sure was enjoying toying with you, and you weren’t sure you could handle any more teasing. After what felt like forever, Soonyoung pulled the last of your undergarments down and marveled at your bare body.

“You’re unbelievable,” he all but growled, running his hands down your sides, to your hips, and past your thighs. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this.”

You sat up, looking up at him with a pout, which only seemed to drive Soonyoung to the brink of madness.

“You’re still clothed,” you observed.

“Yes.”

“Take it off.” You folded your arms across your chest. “I can’t be the only one naked.”

“Whatever you say, princess,” he replied with a laugh. You supposed he could see your expression falter, nearly letting some pathetic sound fall from your lips, so Soonyoung cooed at you and ran his thumb over your lower lip. “Oh, you like that? Like it when I call you princess?”

You did like it. You liked it too much for your own good, and it was almost humiliating.

Soonyoung towered over you as he peeled off his shirt, grabbing it from the nape of his neck and slipping it off in seconds. Your eyes ran over his beautiful expanse of skin, from every defined muscle in his abdomen to the little goosebumps that pricked his arms. You reached out to run your fingers down his abs, letting them trace each groove and dip in muscle. Soonyoung shivered at your very touch, but he allowed you to make your way down to undo his belt and pants.

Your fingers were fumbling, but you managed to remove the latch after several failed attempts. He guided you with his steadier hands, but you were determined to do it yourself. Finally, you pulled his belt free and pushed his pants down his legs.

He seemed to be slightly embarrassed, but Soonyoung was already rock hard. His cock sprang up so that the tip pushed past the waistband of his boxers.

“Don’t worry about that,” he grumbled, sinking to his knees and placing his hands on your thighs. “I’ll take care of you first.”

He grabbed your knees and pushed them apart, staring at your soaked cunt like it was everything he ever wanted. Soft kisses peppered the inside of your thighs, working up to the apex of your legs. You felt the cold air hit your core and shivered, but then it was hot all over again once Soonyoung licked one long, slow stripe that made you writhe and cry out in bliss. He had to press your hips down to keep you from moving too much.

But his movements were so slow and torturous. You were going insane by how much Soonyoung was teasing you with his kitten licks and lazy drags of tongue. Tears welled up in your eyes by the time you had been edged away from another impending orgasm, with him letting his dissolve as soon as the heat bloomed under your skin.

Kissing your cunt. Plunging his tongue into your core. Licking at your walls until they trembled and shook with the warning of release. You were agonized by how good Soonyoung was making you feel.

“Please,” you begged, your voice breathless as your body felt lightweight, “let me cum, please.”

“Hm.” He seemed to consider it for a moment before saying, “Tell me three things you like about me, and I’ll let you cum.”

You laughed, but it died on your tongue as soon as you realized there was no amusement on his face.

“You’re kidding, right?” You swallowed hard, knowing you had your answer already. “Oh, you’re not kidding.”

He was making you work for your orgasm. This was mortifying; you never expected Soonyoung to be so cruel, and you never expected it to be so hot.

“Three things, baby,” he said. “Start with number one.”

“One,” you started, your voice shaky as Soonyoung returned to snaking his tongue past your folds, “I like how you treat me so well and look after me, like—oh, right there—yeah, like that.”

“Two,” you continued, more so in a whimper because Soonyoung was skillfully using his tongue to reach places you never thought to stimulate before. “I, ah—I like the way you look at me and when you tell me I’m beautiful.” You sucked in your teeth when you felt him press his tongue flat against your clit. “Soonyoung, please.”

“One more,” he murmured.

“T-three,” you breathed out, and by this point, your legs were already shaking. Your brain was turning to mush and you couldn’t help but clench at Soonyoung lapping at your soaked cunt. The tremor in your voice was unmistakable when you admitted, “I love how you’re so much better at this than I ever could’ve imagined.”

He breathed out a laugh against your cunt. “Am I really?” He tightened his grip on your hips to suck on your clit, making your back arch and your chest feel light. “You think about me that often, princess?”

“Mmhm,” you confirmed with your eyes screwed shut. “Thought about you whenever I was—”

“Don’t finish that,” he warned, though it almost sounded like he was pleading with you, “or I’ll go crazy.”

Your nerves felt like they had tangled themselves into several knots that kept tightening in your stomach. You shuddered and moaned with each motion of Soonyoung’s tongue that brought you closer to your release. He was merciless with the way he dipped his tongue in your core, rubbing your clit with his thumb in slow circles.

Your walls tightened one last time before you were finally blinded by your white-hot orgasm, and you hardly even realized that hot tears were streaming down your cheeks. Soonyoung was eating you out unabated, not even giving you a break between each wave of pleasure that hit you. After your climax subsided and coherency gradually bled back into you, Soonyoung finally pulled back and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You grabbed his arm before he could say anything. Soonyoung looked you in the eyes for a moment, alarmed, but the worry knitting his brows together melted away once you pulled him down for a proper kiss.

With your arms wrapped around his neck and his knee between your legs, Soonyoung eventually found himself lowering his body until your chests were pressed together. He kept himself up by his elbows and pulled away to look at you. He brushed your hair out of your face and leaned in for another kiss.

As you two became a tangled mess of limbs, wrapped up in each other and far too occupied to care about anything but making out, you moved your hand down Soonyoung’s abs to wrap your hand around his cock. He groaned against your lips and rocked his hips against your touch.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he murmured, his voice low and thick with lust. After reaching back to tug his boxers down, freeing his cock from the restricting fabric, Soonyoung looked down at you with desire glazing over his eyes. “May I?”

“Please do,” you answered.

You cried out when he started rubbing the head of his cock against your cunt, teasing your folds like he did before. You were aching already despite your previous orgasm, and you thought you were going to die on the spot from how needy you were.

“Turn onto your stomach,” he ordered. You were confused for a moment, but you ended up being manhandled by Soonyoung, anyway. He flipped you over and positioned himself at your entrance, keeping one hand on the back of your neck. “Good girl.”

The side of your face was pressed into the sheets, and your hands were desperately reaching for anything that gave you proper leverage. You ended up grabbing onto the pillows just as Soonyoung started pushing his cock inside you. You swallowed down the gasp that dared threaten to escape, and Soonyoung pressed kisses to your face and made sure you weren’t crying from how big he was.

With more filth and praises whispered into your ear, you were clenching and unclenching around him, making Soonyoung groan whenever he felt you tighten. It took a while for him to ease his way into you, but once Soonyoung had finally nestled inside of you, it was as if a switch flipped in him.

He was thrusting as soon as you gave him the green light. You were blindsided by how intense he was, hardly having any control over your own body as you held onto the sheets for dear life. Soonyoung held your hips with a bruising grip as he fucked into you.

Hot.

Everything felt hot and sticky. Your sweat-matted hair clung to the back of your neck, and you felt like your sheets were uncomfortably damp. Despite it all, though, you couldn’t get enough. You needed more, wanted more. Soonyoung was relentless, even when your box springs creaked and the frame rattled against the wall.

You felt his cock twitch inside of you. “Fuck. You’re taking me so well.”

Still overly-sensitive from your previous orgasm, it didn’t take long for you to reach your limit a second time. Soonyoung pounded into you with fervor, and even he was quickly falling apart.

“That’s it,” he got out, teeth gritted. “That’s my girl.”

You pulled him down for a deep kiss, muffling both of your moans once you were clenching uncontrollably around him. You were falling from your peak and Soonyoung fucked you through your orgasm, even though he was on the verge of one himself.

He pulled out right before he was about to cum, and you could only hear his groans before you realized he had gotten off, too. For a moment, you thought Soonyoung abandoned you on the bed. His voice sounded distant all of a sudden, and you were too tuckered out to move.

Then, he returned with a towel and several tissues for you. You turned onto your back again to make out his silhouette entering the room and taking a seat next to you. Your eyes were shut as Soonyoung cleaned you up, and you only opened them once he pushed your hair back and kissed your cheek.

“Wanna go again?” he asked with a grin. You were impressed by how quickly he was able to recover. You, on the other hand, needed a few minutes to recuperate. “The night’s still young.”

“Yeah, sure, if you use a condom this time,” you breathed out, turning over onto your side. “Just give me five.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting your chest rise and fall until its rhythm steadied. Your breathing was even again, but when you opened your eyes, you saw neon green glowing in the middle of the room.

“Soonyoung.” You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. You were not getting dicked down by manga censorship. “Why is your dick glowing?”

“I prefer glow-in-the-dark condoms.”

Typically, when two individuals had feelings for each other, it would often bloom into a relationship.

It was quite clear that you had feelings for Soonyoung and he had feelings for you, so, naturally, one would expect the two of you to start dating. However, it felt like you both were testing the waters around each other instead—dipping your toes into the dating pool. You two were exclusive, but not exactly together.

You were perfectly content with taking things slow, but that didn’t necessarily mean Soonyoung didn’t end up over you almost every other night. The sex was great, of course. Mind-blowing, even.

Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Seungkwan seemed to catch on quickly. There was no mistaking what was going on after you went over to their apartment to play Catan, and then you and Soonyoung disappeared into his room afterward. The next morning, when you walked downstairs in Soonyoung’s shirt to eat breakfast with everyone, you could pick up on their unspoken realization that you were hooking up with their roommate.

Seungkwan even made an offhand comment about you and Soonyoung being a thing—whatever that was supposed to mean.

You debriefed Junhui on the entire situation, of course. He seemed less surprised about you sleeping with Soonyoung, though, and more interested in the outcome of your driving test (which, you had to admit, you were terribly worried about).

The night before your dreaded behind-the-wheel exam, you received a call from Soonyoung.

You weren’t sure what to expect when you picked up the call. You knew that he’d been planning on getting high with his housemates today, so you weren’t exactly sure if this phone call was going to be private or not. You were half-expecting Seungcheol to answer for him instead.

“Hey,” Soonyoung greeted, voice slightly muffled. With the way the audio sounded, you suspected that he wasn’t holding onto his phone at the moment.

“Are you busy?” you asked.

“No, just trying to get the pod you gave me out of its packaging.” You heard a few strained grunts from him before he exclaimed, “I got it!”

“I’m proud of you.”

“That’s what I’ll be telling you after you ace that driving test,” he said. He paused for a moment (which you guessed was him taking a hit). “You ready for it, by the way?”

“Not really.” You sucked in a sharp breath. “The good news is that taking years to pass the permit test has helped me memorize all the rules of the road; the bad news is that I have severe anxiety and probably won’t be able to utilize anything I’ve learned.”

“You’ll be fine, Y/N. You drove just fine with me, didn’t you?”

“But that’s you! How am I gonna drive properly with some scary old guy who probably hasn't ever smiled in his life?”

“Just relax. Remember to slow down on your turns and check your blind spots when you’re changing lanes.”

Your voice grew shy when you admitted, “This is gonna sound weird, but I kind of miss our driving lessons.”

“Even when you lost your tooth?”

You grimaced. “Even then.”

Soonyoung laughed along with you for a moment before he simmered. The silence on the other side of the line didn’t feel uncomfortable, but you felt like each nerve end of yours was on fire.

“I didn’t want it to end either, Y/N,” Soonyoung said after a while, his voice dropping an octave.

“Really?”

“I don’t wanna be in a world where we aren’t in a car together, whether I’m telling you to stop driving under the speed limit or we’re crashing into that Honda Civic that knocked your front tooth out,” he started, and you scratched the back of your head. Yeah, he was definitely high. “And, maybe… maybe the missing front tooth was really the catalyst for all the memories we made along the way. Maybe, in another universe, that tooth never fell out—or existed. Maybe the concept of that occurrence manifested into this universe as a—”

“Okay, it was cute at first,” you interrupted, “but you’re definitely in that other universe right now.”

You had never been this much of a nervous wreck.

Actually, scratch that. You were probably this much of a nervous wreck at least thrice a week. You functioned on being anxious several times a day, so this was honestly not a new feeling. The only problem was that you had never driven with anyone other than Soonyoung, so you were slightly on edge as you turned into the DMV.

“Please return my car in one piece,” Soonyoung said, holding onto the ‘oh shit’ handle as you went over a speed bump, which you found highly unnecessary. He pointed to the starting point for the driving test. “I’ll wait for you outside the building over there.”

“Sounds good.”

“And remember: if you’re gonna fail the test, make sure you fail it big time. Don’t fail it by going ten over the speed limit, or something boring like that.”

“That’s terrible advice, Soonyoung.”

“I’m playing. You’re gonna be just fine.”

“Thanks, I’m just so—oh my god!”

You stepped on the breaks immediately, gripping the wheel tight as the car lurched forward. The man who was crossing in front of you doubled over onto the hood of the car before standing upright again. You rolled your window down to yell an apology, but the man paid you no attention and kept walking with a scowl on his face.

“I almost killed him!” you cried, slapping a hand over your mouth.

“Well…” Soonyoung didn’t seem to know how to reassure you as he was still immobilized with fear himself. He managed a shaky grin. “On the bright side, he’s alive and you’re not facing a lawsuit.”

You swallowed hard. There was no way this exam was going to go well.

After handing in the necessary paperwork inside the DMV, they approved you to go outside for your driving test. Since Soonyoung was letting you use his car while he waited outside, he sat with you until your examiner came by. He did everything he could to calm you down, but, ultimately, it was up to you to pass.

While Soonyoung was giving his seat up for your examiner, you closed your eyes and tried to take deep breaths to mentally prepare.

“Ma’am, can you turn on your left turn signal?” the examiner asked from your window.

When you turned to look at him, you felt something inside you shrivel up and die.

The man you almost ran over was your examiner.

In your daze, you managed to follow his instructions as he asked you to point out various things, such as the windshield wipers, defroster, and foot brake. All the while you were already preparing yourself for failure because there was absolutely no way this man was going to let you pass after almost becoming your victim.

Once the pre-drive safety check was over, he circled around the car to sit in the passenger’s seat, looking down at his clipboard for a moment. You held your tongue, hands clasped together in your lap. Were you supposed to apologize? Would he even care about your apology? It wouldn’t hurt to say sorry, right?

You started in a meek voice, “Oh, about what happened earlier, I’m so—”

“I’m Jeonghan, and I’m gonna be scoring your behind-the-wheel test today,” he cut you off with an air of indifference, looking back down at his clipboard. “Whenever you start the car is when the test begins.”

“Right—yes, okay.” You swallowed thickly and gripped the wheel, looking behind you to make sure no one was coming. Since there were a few cars driving by, you decided to wait for a moment. “A-are you having a good day?”

“I was.”

You wanted to crawl in a hole and drop dead.

After the road was clear, you turned out of the DMV and started driving down the road, checking your speed and mirrors every so often. You had always been comfortably driving with Soonyoung, who would just help you reroute if you missed a turn. Now, though, if you missed anything Jeonghan said, you were going to fail (and probably die).

“Take the right coming up here,” he instructed.

You remembered your turn signal and to look back over your shoulder. Soonyoung had taught you well, but you were afraid that his gentle instructions would only take you so far. Jeonghan was the most intimidating person you had come across (mostly because you almost killed him), and you should not have been trusted to drive someone you were terribly scared of.

After you made the turn, you sighed in relief at the long stretch of road ahead. You attempted to cover it up by clearing your throat and making small talk with Jeonghan.

“It’s pretty cold today, isn’t it?” you asked. Stupid question. You had no idea how cold it was. Soonyoung’s car felt like a sauna because you cranked up the heater, or maybe the heat was from how nervous you were.

Jeonghan promptly ignored you. “Change lanes and take the next left.”

Albeit your state of disarray, you followed what he said. You decided to give up on small talk altogether, coming to the conclusion that Jeonghan just hated you and didn’t want to converse with the person who almost murdered him in cold blood.

You were pretty confident that the rest of your driving test went horribly. You almost went ten under the speed limit to make sure you didn’t run over anyone else in the school zone, you shrieked when the railroad lights turned on and you had to wait for the train to pass by, and you looked both ways about five times when you were at a stop sign.

Jeonghan told you to park the car once you reached the DMV, so you pulled into an empty parking space. You were praying that he wasn’t still grading you because you were most definitely occupying two parking spaces right now.

“Okay, so,” he started, looking at his clipboard before turning to you with a deadpan stare, “you drive too slow.”

Oh. That was intentional because you didn’t want to deal with another hit and run, but you stayed quiet and nodded.

“And,” he continued, “you overthink too much when you’re behind the wheel. Don’t hesitate before you stop or make turns, or you’re just gonna run into trouble that way. You can’t be paranoid about driving, otherwise it’s gonna be hard for you to be on the road.”

You pressed your lips together in a tight line. This was it. He was going to fail you. There was no way you were going to pass when you were being criticized for your entire performance. You didn’t blame Jeonghan, though; you probably wouldn’t pass the person who almost ran you over, either.

“Well, you were cutting it really close,” he said, circling some parts of your examination sheet, “but you passed.”

Your eyes grew wide.

You passed.

You turned to Jeonghan and cried out, “I passed?!”

“You know your car, you know the rules of the road, and you did all your maneuvers just fine,” he continued. “You slowed down in the school zone to make sure you didn’t hit any kids, and you were careful about your turns and stops. Just remember not to be too careful, though, or you might run into someone.”

For the first time, you heard a small snicker of amusement come from him.

“I—I’m so sorry about that,” you blurted out. “I thought you were gonna fail me for hitting you with the car.”

“Like I said, the test begins when you start the car.” He handed you your papers and got out of your car. Before closing the door, he turned to you with his clipboard tucked under his arm. “You should go tell the DMV you passed and get your temporary license before I mark you down for this parking job.”

You gulped, unbuckling your seatbelt in a rush. “Will do.”

Jeonghan stalked off to grade another new driver, you supposed. When you got out of the car, your eyes immediately scanned the perimeter to search for Soonyoung, and there he was, waving you over from the sidewalk with a bright grin on his face.

Before you could even make your way over and break the news to him, he yelled out with his hands cupped around his mouth, “That’s my girl!”

You blushed, stopping in your tracks and staring at him for so long that it took a car honking at you to propel you back into motion. You scrambled over to Soonyoung, eyes wide as saucers and still frazzled from the emotional turmoil you went through with Jeonghan.

He wrapped an arm around you. “You know, no matter the result, I’m proud of you for trying. There’s always next time, you know?”

“Soonyoung—”

“Did everything else go well, though? Other than you almost killing him, obviously.”

“Soonyoung, I—”

“It was probably just bad luck, honestly. I mean, it was a recoverable bump, not even a full-on crash! You were going so slow that anyone could walk that off.”

“Soonyoung!” you yelled, thrusting your score sheet into his hands. “I passed!”

His eyes widened. “You passed?!”

“I passed!” you squealed. “I have to tell Junhui! I mean, he totally thought I was gonna fail my first two or six tries!”

Soonyoung crushed you into a hug, which would’ve been more endearing if your ribs weren’t being squeezed so hard. “Holy shit, Y/N, I’m so proud of you.”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck and drawing him closer. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Be my girlfriend,” he spoke against your neck, his hot breath tickling your skin, and you immediately froze.

Kwon Soonyoung wanted to be your boyfriend. Even with everything that had happened—from the STIIZY pods, to the car crash, to the glow-in-the-dark condom—you still felt relief flooding your veins at the thought of Soonyoung liking you as much as you liked him. It almost felt like you were in a dream.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally remembered how to breathe.

You pulled back to look at him, and even though it was the middle of the day, it felt like all the stars were out to make Soonyoung shine brighter than usual.

“Be my girlfriend,” he repeated, softer this time, and his eyes were gentle as his hands reached for yours. Your lips immediately tugged down and your eyes were welling up with tears. “No, no, no, Y/N, don’t start crying at the DMV.”

You wiped at the corner of your eye. “I can’t help it. I always cry at the DMV.” He smiled down at you fondly, waiting for you to gather your composure. You mustered up the strength to lift your head and nod eagerly. “I accept.”

He was your boyfriend now. The word felt strange on your tongue, but it also filled you with inexplicable happiness. And when you saw how Soonyoung’s eyes crinkled at the corners, you thought you could definitely get used to this.

“You’re so cute.” He laughed, pulling you into his embrace once again. “How about we go get something to eat after you tell them your score?”

You grinned. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

While Soonyoung was waiting in the car for you (and probably readjusting your terrible parking job before he got yelled at), you walked into the DMV and stood in the same line you were in months ago for your permit test. You remembered the anxious feeling of possibly failing your written test a seventh time, but now you felt a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders.

“I did it,” you gushed to the woman at the counter, handing her your score sheet. “I passed.”

“Congratulations!” she chirped, examining the papers before turning to type something on her computer. She turned to grab your temporary license from the printer and handed it to you. “Here you go. Your real one should come in the mail in a few weeks.”

“Thank you so much,” you replied, inspecting your new license with bright eyes.

You failed your permit test six times, only passing on your seventh attempt. While other children were getting their licenses at the age of sixteen, you were still trying to pass the written test in your twenties. And, yes, you had severe driving anxiety, but you crossed that hurdle yourself and finally passed your driving test on your first try.

So, that glass ceiling? Consider it smashed.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ thank you so so much for reading if you've made it this far !! :') i've been wanting to write for hoshi for so long and this was just so fun <3 also BIG shoutout to everyone who asked to be on the tag list because although i couldn't respond to everyone (mostly because i figured i would end up tagging everyone twice 🧎‍♀️ ), i mega appreciate your interest ♡ hope everyone's having a wonderful day/night !!

TAG LIST ▸ @wonudazed @delicatewinterenthusiast @aaniag @primoppang @matchahyuck @xiaoting999 @alsktudy @fixonbreakoff @simqly-yunjin @kwonshiho @cottoncheol @nishloves @sarcasticsweetlara @ult-bee @vanishingboots @l2vedive @phenomenalgirl9 @notevenheretbh1 @hopetiger10 @junyangis @fyladymars @lilsafsafbooyah @kwanhaos @alltheshineofthestars-blog

#svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #hoshi smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #soonyoung smut #seventeen #hoshi x reader #kwon soonyoung #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #hoshi imagines #hoshi scenarios #soonyoung imagines #soonyoung scenarios #svt hard hours #seventeen hard hours #seventeen x reader

3K notes · View notes

sluttywoozi · 25 days

Text

Interlude No. 8 | ksy x reader

Interlude No. 8: You're ovulating, and Soonyoung's hand is on your thigh, and if you weren't in this uber, you'd already be stuffed full of his cock.

Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~2.5k | Pairing: ksy x reader | Genre: smut

Warnings: alcohol mention, they’re both a lil tipsy, mention of cum inflation, impreg kink, unprotected piv sex, lowkey irresponsible family planning, babymaking sex, breeding kink, creampie(s), consensual somnophilia

Reader Notes: has breasts and a vagina, wears a dress and heels, can get pregnant

You’re ovulating, and Soonyoung’s hand is on your thigh.

You can feel it creeping higher and higher, his warm fingers brushing the sensitive skin, shifting closer to your panties with every stop sign and red light. Normally, you’d stop him, but you’re ovulating, and slightly tipsy, and you want him more than anything right now, so his touch is more than welcome.

It’s also grounding, in a way, though it makes your blood run hot in your veins, makes your heart race, makes you want to climb into his lap and kiss him senseless. Makes you want to sink down on his cock and bounce until he fills you with his cum, until he pumps you with enough to distend your stomach, until he gives you what you’ve been too nervous to ask for.

You won’t do that to the uber driver though, so until the car rolls up to your apartment complex, you’ll just have to endure Soonyoung’s teasing fingers. It’s not much longer, thankfully, and soon enough, you’re stumbling through the open door and holding your husband’s hand as he attempts to do the same thing.

You both thank the driver and wave as they pull away before turning and beginning the trek to the elevator, the stretch of sidewalk between you and the building doubling before your very eyes. You can already feel blisters forming on the backs of your ankles from your strappy heels, and you sigh out, “Stop for a second, babe.”

He halts instantly, turning to you in concern before taking the purse you hand him and offering his other arm for you to hold as you lean down and unbuckle your heels. You lose a couple inches as you step out of the shoes, but you don’t mind that, not when it means you can walk without pain.

Soonyoung holds out your purse and takes your heels in exchange, reaching for your hand with his free one and tugging you along again. You make it to the lobby in no time with how quickly he’s pulling you, and you stifle a giggle as he frantically presses the button for the elevator, muttering, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon.”

The doors open and he ushers you inside, jabbing the button for your floor and waiting just until the doors close to push you into the corner and cover your lips with his. His fingers sink into your hair, angling your head to deepen the kiss before dropping your heels and sliding his hand beneath your dress to grip your ass, pulling your hips into his. You gasp at the feeling of his bulge against you and he takes that as an opportunity to suck your tongue into his mouth, a shaky moan leaving you at the barrage of sensations.

When the elevator stops on your floor and opens up with a ding, he doesn’t seem ready to stop kissing you, his lips fever hot against yours and his hands possessive. You have to push him away, melting at the pout that graces his handsome face before reminding him, “You can’t fuck me unless we’re in the apartment.”

That’s enough to get him moving, his body reluctantly parting from yours as he takes hold of your hand and leans down to swipe your heels off the tile. You have to jog to keep up with him, but you don’t mind now that you’re dizzy with desire and the remnants of your tipsiness.

You dig through your purse for your key as you arrive at the door and he feeds it into the lock, gaining access to your apartment with more ease than you expected considering you’re both still buzzed. You hurry inside, hearing the door slam and lock behind you before you’re being guided over to the couch with two hands on your hips, your purse and heels lost somewhere along the way.

Instinctively, you bend over the arm of the couch, but Soonyoung’s arms wrap around your waist and pull you back up, his grabby hands yanking at your dress until you can tear it over your head, leaving you in the lingerie set you forgot you wore to surprise him.

He moans woundedly, stepping around you to sink into the sofa and stare up at you like you’re made of stardust. His hands hover close to your body, as if he doesn’t know whether he can touch or not, and you take them in yours, drag them up to your lace encased breasts. He can’t seem to stop touching you after that, his palms searing as they smooth over your belly, down the fronts of your thighs, up the backs, his fingers slipping beneath your matching underwear to grope at the fat of your ass.

You’re the one to stop him, leaning down and pushing his legs apart as you press your kiss-swollen lips to his, swallowing his groan and sliding your hand up his thigh to cover his thickening cock. It’s hot under your hand, big, and when you squeeze, it twitches in his slacks, dotting the dark gray fabric with precum. You know how it feels when he’s inside of you, know what it’s like to be filled by him, stretched by him, made complete by him, and you want it desperately.

But more than that, you want to tell him the secret you’ve been harboring for the past few weeks, the wish that started out small and grew large enough to occupy your mind at any given time.

“Soonyoung, I have to tell you something,” you break the kiss to whisper, allowing him to tug you into his lap, your legs parted over his waist and your arms draped around his neck.

“What, baby? Is something wrong?” He asks, panting, his eyes valiantly attempting to stay on yours instead of the rise of your tits when you take in a deep, centering breath.

“Nothing’s wrong, per se. I just… I really want,” you bite your lips, nervous to tell him this even though you haven’t felt nervous around him since the very beginning of your relationship.

“What do you want? I’ll give you anything, you know that,” he reassures you, cupping your face and brushing over your cheekbone with a soft thumb.

“I want to have a baby with you,” you breathe out in a rush, your eyes squeezing closed so you don’t have to see his expression change. “And I’m ovulating, so if we skip the condom, you could literally get me pregnant tonight.”

He doesn’t make a sound, and then all of a sudden, he’s wrapping both arms around your waist and holding you close to his shuddering chest, little sobs sounding in your ear as he buries his face in your neck.

“Soonyoung?” You ask, sounding as alarmed as you feel. You try to push him away but he’s too strong, whimpering and holding you tighter as his tears leak out onto your throat.

You fear you’ve broken your husband. There’s nothing to do but rest your chin on his head as he sniffles and weeps, worry invading your mind as you wait for him to patch himself together enough to talk to you.

Finally, he releases you and pulls away, his face red and wet with tears as he gazes up at you with adoration and wonder.

“I wanna have a baby with you,” he beams, cupping your face with both hands and pulling you into a kiss, all of his love and tenderness and hope pouring from his lips into yours.

You know you should talk it out more, discuss logistics and the future and everything that comes with adding to your family, but fuck if you don’t want his dick inside you right this second.

So you don’t question his words, just shuffle closer to him until you can grind over his cock, feeling the seat of your panties dampen with arousal as they’re pressed against your pussy by his thrusting hips.

It’s a mockery of what you really want, and you don’t last long before you’re shifting back and fumbling with the button and zipper on his slacks, tugging them and his boxer briefs to rest below his heavy balls as his cock pops up between you. You eye it with hunger, rising up on your knees and tugging your panties to the side before lining it up with your entrance.

“Baby, wait, let me open you up a little first,” Soonyoung pants, his fingers sliding between your thighs and grazing your clit, making you shiver.

“No, I need you,” you whine, your face crumpling when his other hand flies to your hip and clutches tight, holding you in place.

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs soothingly, knocking his cock out of the way so he can dip his fingers inside of you.

“Can’t you feel how wet I am? It won’t hurt,” you insist, before you decide begging is something you’re willing to do. “Please, I want to feel your cock so bad, I want to feel you cum inside me and I want it to stick, I want you to get me pregnant, Soonyoung.”

You’ve never not used a condom before, and you’re hoping the temptation of fucking you raw is enough to push him over the edge. His face reddens again, his eyes fluttering shut and his cock twitching against your ass. You fight a smile when he swears and takes hold of his dick, pressing it to your entrance and pulling you down just a little, just enough for the head to lock in.

You feel his fingers part your pussy further, feel them holding you open as he thrusts his hips up, fucking into you slowly to stretch you out. You push down faster than he pulls you, but he doesn’t seem to want you to stop, precious little ah ah ah’s escaping his parted lips as he fills you.

It’s glorious, the sensation of him bare. The sheer warmth of him, the veins that drag against your walls, the precum you already feel dripping into you. When he bottoms out, you almost wish you didn’t have to move, to lose the feeling of being whole.

Then he lifts you up and bucks those dancer’s hips into you, and you’re reminded of your original wish. You’ve made him cum before just by cockwarming and clenching around him, but he cums faster when he’s fucking you, and that’s what you really want. You want him to give you every drop, fill you to the brim, fuck it back into you when it starts to leak out.

You almost don’t even care if you cum too, but Soonyoung obviously does because his fingers travel back to your clit, rubbing harsh circles that have you throbbing within a split second. His hips jackhammer into you, and your nails dig into his fabric covered shoulders as you hold on for dear life.

You can hear yourself whimpering pitifully but you can’t stop, not when he suddenly starts running his mouth.

“Gonna give you, fuck, so much fuckin’ cum, baby. All night, I won’t stop. You’ll be fucking pregnant by morning, I swear,” his words tremble with exertion but his tone rings true, and all you can do is shudder out a moan and clench down around him.

You muddle through the onslaught of pleasure to tell him, “Even if I fall asleep, keep fucking me.”

“Yeah, baby?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. “Still want me to breed you even if you pass out on my dick?”

The image and his swirling fingers are enough to push you over the edge, your cunt clamping down on him as light fills your vision and every sound but the noise of him fucking into you fades away.

You can feel him throbbing inside of you, and before you’re even fully on the other side of your orgasm, you’re whining, “Want it, Soonyoung, cum inside me, please, please, please.”

He forces out a swear and slams you down one last time, his dick jerking as his cum pumps into you, a strange warmth growing in your lower belly with every rope of white hot cum that paints your walls.

You sigh in relief, tipping forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, pouting when it meets fabric instead of skin.

“Take your clothes off,” you mumble, your body like lead on top of him.

He tips you to the side and hisses as he pulls out, taking hold of your fingers and bringing them to your pussy, covering your entrance when he tells you, “Don’t let any leak out.”

You won’t, both because you don’t want to get the couch cleaned and because you don’t want to waste a drop. You peek an eye open to watch him strip, his toned body slowly being revealed to you with every article of clothing he removes.

When he’s finally naked, he leans down and reaches behind you, undoing your bra and carefully pushing you to rest on your back as he pulls the straps down your arms. The panties are a bit trickier as you want to keep your fingers in place, but you let go for a single moment and he tugs them down, your hand immediately returning to your pussy to hold his cum inside.

But he pulls your hand away, and you blink up at him in confusion before feeling his wet, hard dick pressing into you again. He fucks you softly this time, your legs hooked over his arms and his knee bent up on the couch, the other leg straight and bracing him on the floor.

Your orgasm washes over you like a wave when he leans closer so he can kiss you, his pelvis grinding into your clit and his dick feeling twice as big with you folded like this. It’s not long before he’s filling you, the burst of heat in your stomach a bit more familiar now. He lays against you for a while, staying inside even as his cock softens, his hips pressed tight enough to yours to prevent any cum from escaping.

You wake to him tugging you up from the couch and off to bed, one arm around your waist and one curved over your stomach, his hand between your legs to stem the flow of cum as you walk. When you get to the bed, he helps you climb up, pushing you to lay on your stomach and lifting your hips enough to nudge a spare pillow beneath them.

You’re barely lucid as you feel his hands spread your cheeks and his dick slide inside, and before you drop back into sleep, you hear him murmuring, “Gotta, fuck, gotta keep you full. Promised I would.”

Two weeks later, you find yourself buying pregnancy tests instead of pads.

(Every single one is positive)

AN: "but emily you just wrote a breeding kink fic" ah but that was with joshua and they didn't actually want kids so technically this is different 😌

810 notes · View notes

toruro · 10 months

Text

— ✧ crazy stupid love

pairing. kwon soonyoung x reader

description. your best friend, turned fuck buddy, seems a little too upset about your latest instagram post ...

tags. smut (18+), fwb to lovers, some angst, fluff, confessions, mean dom → switch hoshi, jealousy, arguments (dw there is resolution), angry sex, biting, dacryphilia, degrading (+ discussion of degradation), use of safeword, slightly inspired by crazy stupid love

w/c. 3.6k

a/n. happy birthday hoshi! ngl this has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 months but i figured i should wrap it up and post it today :3

"who's this?" soonyoung asks, holding his phone up to your face. on the screen is a picture that you posted on your story last night, your friend with an arm around your shoulder.

"huh, that's dongwoo," you say, looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows. the back of your head is leaning against his shoulder as your legs are propped up on the other end of the sofa. soonyoung came over to watch the harry potter marathon with you a few hours ago, but with the showing break going on right now, you're both taking some time to catch up on your phones.

"who's that?" soonyoung says flatly, not looking at your face as he pulls his phone back, squinting at the photo. his gaze feels oddly scrutinizing, but you don't say anything about it just yet.

sitting up from your position, soonyoung frowns as you lift yourself off of him to sit across from him on the couch. "you don't remember dongwoo? he went to high school with us?" soonyoung gives you a blank stare. "jeong dongwoo? doesn't the name ring a bell?"

the name does ring a bell, but soonyoung only shrugs and replies, "uh, no i can't say it does."

"no way! we had chem with him! he was really nice and good at labs too," you go on, reminiscing about your memories from your teen years.

"that's weird, i don't remember him." that's a lie—soonyoung definitely remembers dongwoo, but he doesn't remember him ever being as smitten with you as he looks on your post.

"well whatever," you brush off, leaning back onto soonyoung's arm. "he was in town and dmed me asking if i wanted to catch up over dinner."

"a date?" soonyoung asks shamelessly.

you scoff. "no. not a date. just two friends meeting up for dinner."

"a guy and a girl don't meet up for dinner and not call it a date," your friend argues, and then you lift yourself off of him again. soonyoung is slightly annoyed you aren't curled up by his side anymore, but he's even more annoyed by dongwoo's stupid smile on his stupid face with his stupid arm around you.

"what are you talking about? we go out for dinner all the time! those aren't dates," you tell him as a matter of factly, frowning slightly as you do.

"yeah," soonyoung murmurs with a humorless laugh. "and we usually fuck afterwards, so our case is obviously different."

heat courses through your body as the words leave his lips. it's not like he's wrong, but the shamelessness of it all is a little more than you're used to. you're used to the deafening silence and the unspoken words that fill the gaps every time soonyoung leaves you breathless, every time he leaves your brain empty, every time he fucks you.

after he says that, there's that thick, ugly silence wedging itself between you and soonyoung again. you don't like it, not one bit.

"whatever," you finally huff out, not sure if you should lay back down on him or continue sitting up, sensing that soonyoung might want to make a bigger deal out of this than is good for him. "it wasn't a date, i don't know what else to tell you."

neither of you know why you're trying to convince him of this. it shouldn't matter if it was a date or if it wasn't, if dongwoo had an arm around your shoulder, if his touch lingered more, fingers ghosting down your body, up your thigh—

that's what soonyoung tries to tell himself—that it doesn't matter, that none of it matters, that you don't matter to him—at least not like that. too bad he can't control himself. soonyoung can never control himself when it comes to you, and he's starting to wonder if that's a blessing or a curse.

he scoffs, "you're being a real brat right now."

your eyes narrow at him and while this would usually put you in one of those moods—the mood where you want to yank your pants off, have soonyoung's hand in your panties—you're slightly annoyed right now. "what's that supposed to mean?" you ask accusingly, crossing your arms tightly over your chest.

it's a thoughtless gesture but your tits bunch up together and the curve peeks over the collar of your loose shirt. soonyoung stares for a moment and then thinks about if dongwoo looked at you like this. like he wanted to grab your tits, tweak your pretty nipples between his fingers, drink in your moans while he licks into your mouth.

the thought has red flashing through his vision and before you can even think, there's a pair of hot, wet lips on yours and soonyoung is kissing you like he'll die if he doesn't. teeth gnashing against each other as one of his hands wraps around your torso, the other goes up to grab one of your tits, massaging the flesh with his palm.

yeah, you said you were annoyed, but yeah soonyoung is a great kisser and your mind is throttling, going back and forth as you try to decide if you should give in or attempt to hold your own. "soonyoung," you pant as you break away to take a breath, but his lips are on yours again too quickly for you to form a reply.

you find your resolve running thin as you thread your finger into his hair, bringing his face closer as he shifts on the couch above you, knees on either side of you, caging you in. his mouth his pressing kisses to the side of your lips now, peppering your cheeks, and then he's on your neck.

your lips aren't occupied but any words of protest have effectively died in your throat as you squirm under soonyoung when he sinks his teeth into your skin, whining out his name. your hips buck into his for some much needed tension and you can feel soonyoung chuckled against your skin as he licks over the reddening mark.

you feel dizzy when he pulls away and admires the way he's quite literally marked his territory on you. scoffing out loud, soonyoung gives you mean look. "wonder what dongwoo will think about this ..." your mind races at the words—what soonyoung means by that is still a bit of a mystery to you, but the fact that he's so hell bent on keeping you to himself is ... it's turning you on like crazy.

and soonyoung doesn't stop there as he pulls off his shirt and you try to shimmy out of your pants. "what'll he think, huh? his cute little crush ..." he murmurs, looking down at you after your pants are off and thrown to the side, leaving you in just your soiled panties. "his dream high school sweetheart with her legs open, pussy dripping, for a guy who isn't even her fuckin' boyfriend ... like a fuckin' slut."

you gasp when he brings up a thumb to toy with your clit through the fabric, hips jerking up at the contact. "w-what are you—" you're cut off by your own moan when soonyoung pushes the cloth to the side, slipping one finger into your aching cunt without warning. you really want to ask soonyoung what he means by all this, but it just feels so good—too good, and you can't help it at all—your body seems to always give into him.

his finger is already hitting that one spot that he knows has you seeing stars, and your jaw goes slack at how quickly the pleasure is all hitting you. usually, soonyoung likes to work you up to it; starts by playing with your clit for a few hot minutes 'til you're begging for just some fingers inside and then he toys with you for another good while before he finally gives you his cock and fucks you dumb. something tells you today is a bit different.

today is very different, but you have a strong feeling that you won't mind. because all it takes is a few more quick flicks of his wrist and you're crying out his name, saying, "'m gonna cum—soon-soonyoung, 'm cumming!"

you thrash around on the cushions as your orgasm hits you, and soonyoung buries his head into your neck and biting down even harder than before. the slight sting has your senses heightening and your cunt throbs around his fat fingers as he fucks you through the high, not relenting until your neck is littered with hot red marks and you're quivering beneath him.

a content sigh escapes your lips when he slips out of you, allowing yourself a moment to breathe as you start to sit up when soonyoung narrows his eyes at you, unbuckling his jeans in the process.

"don't move," he warns and although you furrow your brows, you comply nonetheless, letting your head fall back against the couch as you watch him shove down his pants and boxers in one go. soonyoung's fat length springs out, hitting against his abdomen as he shuffles his way in between your legs.

pressing his lips together, he asks, "color?" and when the word green is slipping softly from his mouth, he finds it hard to hold back. "fuck, how are you this needy already," he groans when he catches the look on your face—your bottom lip jutted out as you look up at him with shining eyes.

soonyoung grabs your cheek with one hand roughly, shoving a thumb into your mouth as he positions his cock between your folds. you're quick to wrap your lips around his thumb, sucking hard and swirling your tongue in hopes that it'll egg him on to just stick it in already, but instead he just slides his length up and down your folds.

you pout around his thumb but don't stop sucking, letting the drool run down your chin as tears well up in your waterline, and soonyoung chuckles at the look. "go on baby, go on. know you want it," he coos mockingly, continuing to cover his length in your slick but not actually giving you what you want.

"soonyoungie," you whimper when you can't take it anymore, trying to lift your hips yourself so he'll get the message but then he's pressing down on your stomach and holding you in your place.

"be patient slut," he demands, and your eyes press closed when he does, walls clenching around nothing as the word slips from his mouth. "you just came—are you really that insatiable?"

you nod dumbly as he slips his thumb out of your mouth, using the same, wet hand to tightly squish your cheeks together. soonyoung thinks you look so cute like this—puffy lips and lashes thick with tears—and he doesn't give you even a moment's warning when he snaps his cock inside of you in one go.

his balls are pressed against your ass, and soonyoung holds himself there for just a moment before he's pulling back and thrusting back into you. "god fuck—perfect pussy," he groans, thrust after thrust as you throttle against the couch with the increasing force.

you can feel your ass and thighs burn from the way his skin slaps against yours every single time, the sensation only adding fuel to the fire as you cry out his name.

"bet dongwoo thought about this," soonyoung moans as he starts jamming his cock into you less methodically and more sloppy, more hard, more fierce. "thought 'bout having you moaning his name like the pretty whore you are."

you try to mewl something along the lines of, "we're just friends," but it comes out as nothing but a high pitched moan as your second orgasm creeps up on you.

and it's fucking mind-numbing, and you don't think you've ever cum so hard and so fast but soonyoung is grinning down at you as you arch your back and squeeze around his cock so tight it almost pushes him off the edge but no—he's determined to keep going until you can't take it anymore.

"keep goin' baby, i know you can take it." he hardly gives you a second to rest, thrusts slowing only for a few moments as he watches you cream his cock before letting his hands roam all over you.

in your overstimulated haze, you hardly realize when soonyoung flips you over, cock still buried deep inside your hot cunt as you try to stabilize yourself on your knees. his hand is on the back of your neck, pressing your face into the cushions so hard it muffles your moans as his cock batters your buzzing pussy.

he's ramming into you so hard now and all you can feel is white hot pleasure ripping through your body, soonyoung whispering about how you're his filthy little slut, taking everything he's giving you. gripping onto the side of the couch, you try to hold yourself together, you really, really do, but it's too much all at the same time and the word slips from your lips before you even have to think about using it.

"r-red." it's so quiet and hoarse the first time that you aren't even sure if he can hear you so you cry out again, "red, s-soonyoung, red."

it's all a haze when soonyoung slips out of you slowly, giving you both a few moment to adjust as you finally catch your breath over the hiccups of your soft whimpers.

now soonyoung likes seeing you cry, but not when it's like this. he likes seeing you whine and tear up when you're under him and writhing from pleasure, but what he doesn't like is the way your eyebrows are furrowed like this. 'cause when he looks at you now, he sobers up and the anger that fogged his mind just moments ago is clearing up.

"s-shit, i'm sorry," he says quickly as you curl up against the cushions, limbs still quivering from all the pleasure and stimulation. soonyoung wants to reach out, wants to touch you—hold you—and ask you what wen wrong, promise you that he didn't meant to go too far, promise you that he didn't even realize it, but he's not sure if he should.

because right now you won't meet his gaze and he's wondering if he's somehow royally fucked up what's likely the best thing he's got going on his life.

soonyoung's lost for a few moments before senses are snapping into him and he thinks he should get you some water, a towel—do anything except sit here dumbly like he is right now. but when he shuffles away from you and is about to step of the couch he feels a familiar touch around his wrist and he gapes down at you.

"wait," you mumble, finally looked up at him once the tears have stopped flowing. soonyoung stills for a moment, and he's not sure if he should take that as in invitation to move closer or just stay put, but then you're tugging him softly and he can't help but cave. "can y-you lay on top of me?" you ask timidly, and soonyoung gives you a weird look as if to ask, are you sure? "i, uh, i think it'd help me. please?"

that's all takes for him to drape his whole body over you, arms pressed against your side and hands stroke your shoulders. your bare chests are pressed against you and soonyoung swears your rapid heartbeats sync up on the spot as you breaths start to relax.

when all finally feels calm, soonyoung takes a moment to finally ask you the question that's been bothering him this whole time. lifting his head, he finds you looking right back at him. "are you okay? what went wrong?"

"i—yes, i'm okay."

"a-are you sure? you can tell me anything you know—i won't judge, i won't care—i mean obviously i'll care but you know what i mean and—" he starts to ramble, and your lips almost twitch up into a smile, "—and i'm sorry this isn't about me but i'm worried i did something and might have majorly fucked things up and—"

"soonyoung," you say, voice all breathy and light. "slow down, i'm okay."

"are you?" he asks, and his voice is so shaky you frown.

"yes, i promise. i'm, well, i think i just got overwhelmed. it was a lot and happened really quickly and it was a bit more intense than i'm used to," you admit. "not that i didn't like it ... i just wasn't expecting it."

soonyoung watches you carefully as you speak, sitting up and pulling you up in the process too. "i'm sorry—i didn't realize," he confesses. "i was—" he inhales sharply wondering if he should admit his jealousy, "— a bit lost in my own head. i shouldn't have taken it out on you like that. do you want me to get you water?"

you nod and he stands up, heading to the kitchen to grab you a glass. when he sits back down, next to you, soonyoung is relieved when you curl up by his side, gulping down the drink before questioning him. "um, can i ask what you mean by, uh, lost in your head? wait actually—before you answer that—" you pause, "—do you really think i'm a slut?"

soonyoung's eyes widen. "no—fuck, god no. i just—you know, we usually—you know—degrade. if you don't like it i'll stop and—"

"no no, soonyoung, like, i meant outside of sex. do you think i was—i dunno—messing around with dongwoo?"

dongwoo? "no—i don't think you're a slut for that. shit, i'm sorry—i don't even know what the fuck got into me. i just—i don't even know. okay fuck. fuck. okay. i was jealous."

"of dongwoo? we didn't even fu—"

"i know. i know—it shouldn't even matter because we're not exclusively fucking or whatever but i got jealous okay? i don't know—i fucking love you so i saw him with his stupid hand around you and i wanted to punch him in the fuckin' face."

your eyes snap wide at that. "what? you—fuck—what?"

soonyoung hardly even realizes he's confessed until you're looking up at him with those wide eyes and he wonders how he's managed to dig himself deeper into this hole. shit, there's really no getting out of this now. he might as well crawl down further and sit there for the rest of his life and—

"i, uh—i didn't know you felt the same way."

"what? what do you mean the same way—"

"are you stupid, soonyoung?"

"um, kind of."

you laugh and kiss him hard for a second. suddenly you're pressing his shoulders and swinging a leg over his thighs so you can straddle his laps.

"wait hold on," he murmurs, but continues to wrap his arms around your waist as you lift your hips to align yourself over his still hard cock. "a-are you sure? are you okay?"

"yeah," you mutter, kissing him again as you wrap your arms around his neck. "can we take it a little easier from here though?"

soonyoung doesn't hesitate to say, "yes, of course—" but the last word gets cut off by a hitch of his breath when you sink down on him, the two of you moaning in unison at the feeling. his hands are gripping your waist and holding you down as he relaxes, leaning back into the seat as he casually says, "i am never calling you a slut again. or anything degrading for that matter." it's half a joke, half not, and you can tell he's still on edge.

"i like it," you admit as you adjust yourself on his lap, not really moving yet though. "just—i was a bit worried today. i thought you— i dunno. didn't know you liked me too and i didn't know what to think."

soonyoung furrows his brows but can't find the right words to say, so he kisses you instead, pulling you up so his cock drags out of halfway before gently letting you fall back down, tip hitting your walls slowly but deep.

"fuck," you moan into his mouth, holding his head closer to yours. absentmindedly, you lift your hips up again and then grind down methodically, causing both of you to break away from the kiss and look down at the sloppy wet mess where you connect.

and as you both get lost in the moment, fingers grappling at each other's burning skin, letting your bodies melt together, it dawns on you that you and soonyoung have fucked a countless amount of times but this is the first (of many) that you two have made love.

it's an entirely new experience, dreamy eyes and wet, passionate kisses with whispers of love confessions under your breaths and the smooth and damn good thrusts that slowly but surely bring you to the edge.

"feels so good," soonyoung moans, thrusting up into you gently to meet your bounces as you steady him with your arms around his shoulders.

"g'na cum, soonyoungie?" you try to coo, but it comes out as a whimper of your own as you feel that knot in your belly threaten to snap. and when he's nodding into your neck and sucking on the skin, you both fall apart in each other's arms.

cries and grunts mix together in a beautiful song and when you and soonyoung look at each other, sweating, flushed, teary eyed, and so fucking in love, you know that whatever happens with the two of you after this, it will work.

a/n. hope u enjoyed it!

tags. @synthetickitsune @leejihoonownsmyheart @dahliatopia @gyuswhore @hoeforcheol @5xiang @hajimelvr @miriamxsworld @lixiel0ver @josefines-things @mimisxs @kawennote09 @bbyjjunie @rubyreduji (strikethrough could not be tagged)

3K notes · View notes

mangocustard16 · 3 months

Text

BOYFRIEND HOSHI WHO...

pairing: idol!hoshi x reader genre: fluff, headcanon, established relationship warnings: mentions of ramen(might make you hungry) wc: 190 a/n: made another one! tell me if this gets annoying :0

bf! hoshi who ran to buy you some new slippers, when he saw that your heels were giving you blisters

bf! hoshi who always matches his pfps with you

bf! hoshi who never lets you pay as long as you're with him

bf! hoshi who has to cover every single ongoing dance challenge with you

bf! hoshi who always makes an extra serving of ramen for you

bf! hoshi who loves to give you little gifts to show his love and appreciation for you

bf! hoshi who is always excited to go out on dates

bf! hoshi who is already looking for wedding venues the moment he saw you holding a baby

bf! hoshi who loves smelling your hair, absolutely loves the scent of your shampoo

bf! hoshi who catches your eye from across the room and winks at you

bf! hoshi who has to win you a stuffed animal whenever you pass by a claw machine

bf! hoshi who sneakily logs into your shopping account to buy you gifts from your wishlist

bf! hoshi who forwards you every single funny video he sees on tiktok

@kflixnet @k-films@k-labels taglist⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅: @bangchansbae @haecien @aaniag if you want to be added just send me an ask ♡⸝⸝

645 notes · View notes

boorines · 6 months

Text

the first time | kwon soonyoung (M)

warnings/tags: fem reader, established relationship, bf!soonyoung, so much love, he is soo sweet, fingering, belly bulging, he talks u through it, praise, use of pet names ‘baby’ ‘angel’ ‘love’, multiple times, profanity. smut. MDNI

in response to this ask by @horanghaezone

—

you’re sitting on the end of the couch, your legs draped over soonyoung’s knees as he traces lazy circles on your calves. the tv drones in the background but the two of you don’t hear it, cocooned in a comfortable silence.

you’ve been dating soonyoung for just over a year now and you couldn’t be happier. from the gentle touches and soft glances he throws at you, followed by the warmest smiles, you know he feels the same. for the most part, you’ve been taking it slow. no matter how heated it had gotten, the two of you haven’t explored beyond passionate kisses and teasing hands.

tonight, though, the air is blanketed in a heavy something.

you try your best to ignore the desperate, achy feeling in the pit of your stomach as you adjust your place on the couch. pulling your legs off soonyoung’s lap, you opt to rest your head on his chest instead.

“all good, baby?”, he speaks softly as his hand comes up to rub your back. you nod, letting out a content sigh.

you shiver subconsciously when soonyoung’s hand drops to your waist, kneading your skin slowly. you look up at him in question and he shoots you a small smile. but there’s something in his eyes you just can’t place.

you brush it off and focus your eyes on the tv screen, trying your best to ignore the dull ache between your thighs. you don’t know it, but soonyoung can feel every shaky breath and shudder against his chest.

“hey, gorgeous?”, he prods. you tilt your face up to look at him, urging him to continue. “you doing okay? need anything, water, a blanket? different movie?”

“i’m okay, soonie”, you assure him with a soft smile. he nods and drops a feather-light kiss to your temple before turning his attention to the screen.

you curl into his arms with a leg flung over his knee, getting more worked up with every stroke of soonyoung’s fingers against your arm and every squeeze of your waist. you don’t even realise when you start rutting against his thigh, the movements first small and barely noticeable. he’s alerted, however, when he hears a soft whimper fall from your lips.

soonyoung’s eyes widen in surprise when he looks down and catches sight of the wet patch steadily growing on his sweatpants.

“baby”, he breathes out, voice strained. you look up at him, grinding against his thigh harder. your blown out pupils and shuddering breaths make him twitch in his sweats. “what are you doing?”

“soonie, i…”, you trail off, at a loss for words. you feel his hand snake around you and press against your pussy. the soft moan you let out makes his eyes roll back.

“keep going, pretty, it’s okay”, he whispers. you nod softly, getting needier by the second. “use my hand”.

“s-soonyoung, i need you”, you mumble desperately.

“i know, baby, i know”, he shushes.

“no, soonie, i need you. please”, your voice is trembling. and today just feels right.

soonyoung’s eyes widen and his breath hitches. he needs to make sure he heard you correctly.

“you want me, my love? completely?” he asks, careful, and you nod your head frantically.

“are you sure? i need to hear it, baby”. this is new territory for you and he’ll gladly wait another two years for you to be ready. but if you’re ready now, he has to be sure of it.

“yes, yes, soonyoung. please, take me”, you whine.

soonyoung swallows, heart beating out of his chest, and nods. he gently shifts you onto your back and locks his lips with yours, the kiss soft and slow.

“where do you want me?”, he whispers against your mouth. he’s going to make it as comfortable for you as possible, knowing this will be harder for you than it is for him.

“here, soonie”, you respond, pawing at the couch. he nods, in complete awe. he can’t believe you’re here, laying in front of him, and giving yourself to him.

“give me a second, baby”, he mumbles and you give him a small nod. he gets off the couch and jogs over to the bedroom, returning with a small foil-wrapped packet in his hand. he smiles softly, “i’ve had some on hand, you know, just in case we…”, he trails off. the shy smile you give him in return makes his heart swell.

soonyoung places his hands firmly on your hips, silently asking for permission to undress you. when you needily paw at his arm in response he chuckles and tugs your t-shirt up, lifting your back slightly to get it over your head. he hisses when he realises you aren’t wearing a bra, eyes drinking in every inch of your body. he’s seen you before, but the context of the situation takes his breath away and he runs his hands over your waist in awe.

he moves down to your shorts, gently sliding them down your legs. he discards them on the floor next to couch and turns back to look at you.

his breath catches in his throat. one of your hands is clutching the couch cushion behind you, the other resting on your stomach. you’re breathless, thighs parted ever-so-slightly, giving soonyoung a perfect view of your clothed pussy and the wet patch staining your panties. he leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your lips, and then one more, before moving down to your jaw. he suckles at the skin, trailing wet kisses down to your neck. he nips and licks at the skin as his hands slide up your stomach to fondle your breasts.

you moan softly as his large hands knead your tits, massing the skin carefully before flicking each nipple. you hiss and arch into his touch. the smile you feel against your neck makes you melt into a puddle on the couch. soonyoung trails kisses past your breasts, stopping to suck on your nipples quickly, and down your stomach. he stops right at the waistband of your panties, looking up at you to scan your face for any hesitance.

seeing none, he makes quick work of his own clothes, shucking his jeans off his legs and losing his shirt in a matter of seconds. he holds his breath as he pulls his boxer shorts down and off his legs. the breath he hears you suck in does nothing to help him maintain control. he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of your panties and tugs. you kick them off your legs when he brings them below your knees.

he sits up on his knees and his eyes rove over your body, committing every inch to memory. “you’re beautiful”, he mutters. “fuck, you’re the most beautiful thing in the world”. you push your thighs closed, cheeks colouring pink at his words.

“no, no”, he says, gently pushing your legs apart. “you’re perfect, baby, just try to relax, okay?”

you nod. soonyoung throws you a deep, loving smile and turns to your wet cunt. he rubs a finger along your folds slowly, drawing out a small whimper from your throat. “just gonna stretch you out, angel. won’t be too long”, he whispers, dropping a soft kiss to your hip before carefully massaging your clit. he slides his digit lower, collecting your wetness on his finger and smearing it over the nub. he rubs slow circles onto your clit, coaxing soft whines from your throat, before gently easing a finger into your warm entrance.

you mewl loudly, earning a light chuckle from soonyoung. after pumping one finger into you, pulling shuddering breaths from your lungs, he slowly pushes in a second finger. “that’s it, so pretty, just a little more, baby”. he leans his head against your thigh as he works his fingers into you, scissoring them open gradually. he suckles bright marks into the skin of your thigh, revelling in your soft whimpers as he eases you open.

he feels you start to shake around him and quickens his pace. “good girl, so good, almost there”, he mumbles against your hip, pumping into you with fervour. “cum, baby, cum for me, yeah?”, he encourages and you do. the coil in your stomach snaps and you shudder, a loud mewl leaving your mouth. he continues to fuck his fingers into you as he listens to your breathy whines.

soonyoung looks up at you and smiles, propping himself up to give you a long, sweet kiss on your mouth. he takes his time, savouring the taste of your lips and the feel of your tongue against his. he deepens the kiss, the air around the two of you getting heavier. “you ready, my love?”, he whispers against your lips. the firm nod you give him makes him groan into your mouth.

he leans on his heels above you, eyes trained on yours. he reaches for the packet next to him, hastily ripping it open with his teeth. he maintains searing eye contact with you as he rolls the rubber onto his leaking dick. the pink colouring your cheeks and the shy look in your eyes is such a contrast from the way your thighs are spread in front of him and he throws his head back with a groan, pumping his cock once, twice before lining it up at your entrance.

the sinful moan that leaves your mouth when he pushes himself into you gently is enough to make him cum, he thinks. “that’s it, pretty, fuck”, he breathes out as he inches himself deeper into you at a snail’s pace. he spots your hand clawing at the couch in an effort to take all of him and his heart swells. he reaches for your hand and holds it tight, rubbing small circles onto your knuckles. “taking me so well, baby. just a little more, yeah? you can do it”.

you whine loudly as he gradually bottoms out inside you, stilling to let you adjust to his size. “all good, baby?”, he asks carefully, squeezing your hand when he sees your watery eyes.

“good, soonie”, you manage to push out, “just a s-stretch”. your face is flushed and your pupils are blown wide, the sight makes soonyoung twitch inside you. he nods and pulls your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on your fingers and mumbling soothing words of encouragement and praise against your skin.

“shit, you’re so tight. look so good around me, baby”, he says breathlessly. he remains still, letting you get used to the intrusion completely. he looks down at your connected bodies and catches sight of his cock bulging in your stomach. he feels his mind short circuit and before you know it he’s tugging your hand down to rest on your lower tummy.

“i’m going to move now”, he speaks softly, waiting for your nod before starting to move inside you. you mewl, letting out little gasps and whines as he buries himself into you and pulls out gently. you feel his cock move against your hand and your eyes roll back. “feel that, baby? feel my cock inside your tummy? fuck, taking me so good, my love”.

with every careful thrust soonyoung has you seeing stars. “soonie, more, please”, you whine and you hear him chuckle above you, pushing his length back into your soaking cunt. “fuck, soonyoung, feels so g-good”.

every now and then soonyoung checks in on you with a gentle, ‘this okay, my love?’ as he fucks into you. the needy moans and the desperate bucking of your hips is all the answer he needs, but he’s extra careful anyway.

he continues sliding his cock in and out of you, his pace now quick and consistent. he mumbles sweet nothings to you, occasionally letting filth fall out of his mouth just so he can feel your sopping hole clench around him. when you start clawing at his forearm, legs shaking and high-pitched whines tumbling past your lips, he knows you’re close.

“such a good girl, so pretty for me”, he grunts, pushing into you relentlessly. “gonna cum, baby? yeah?”. the frantic nod you give him has him spearing into you deeper, hitting the gummy spot in your hot cunt just right.

“g-gonna cum, soonie”, you whine, and soonyoung’s hand instantly finds your clit, rubbing tight circles around the nub as your back arches off the couch.

“yes, that’s it, baby, cum for soonie”, he mutters, flicking your clit as you clench around his cock.

your eyes roll back and your vision flashes white, lewd moans tumbling out of your mouth as you release all over soonyoung’s cock. your legs are shaking and your pussy is fluttering around your boyfriend as he fucks you through your high.

“oh, my love, that’s it. such a good fucking girl for me”, he breathes, close to his own release. “soonie’s almost there, baby”.

the whiny noises you make from the overstimulation of his cock sliding against your walls pushes soonyoung to his high. his thrusts get sloppy, hips snapping into you as he groans sweet praises into your ear. he throws his head back as he empties himself into the condom, his hands gripping your hips tightly. he gradually stills inside you, dropping wet kisses to your mouth, your jaw, your neck and wherever else he can reach.

he pulls out of you so so slowly, hissing as he pulls the rubber off his dick and ties it closed. he effortlessly tosses it into the trash can behind the couch. he turns his attention to your blissed out face, eyes scanning your features for any sign of discomfort.

“how are you feeling, baby?”, he asks softly, hand moving up to stroke your cheek lovingly.

“amazing, soonie”, you whisper in response. “felt so good”.

“yeah?”, he smiles at you, eyes crinkling with fondness. “you feel okay? does it hurt? do you need anything?”

you shake your head with a soft smile, wincing slightly. “all good, just sore”, you pout. his eyebrows knit together as he kisses your mouth gently, pouring all his love and care onto your lips. his hands reach down to massage your thighs, hoping to soothe any soreness and you sigh in relief.

the couch is ruined with the remains of your treasured moment with soonyoung, your juices and the remnants of your first time staining the fabric. “shit”, you mutter in panic.

soonyoung laughs. “it’s okay, baby. it was worth it, hm?”, he finishes with a wink. you slap at his arm in exasperation.

“it’s ruined, soonyoung. we can’t sit on this”, you groan. “we can’t even get this cleaned…”, you trail off.

he stands up from the couch and reaches for the wet wipes on the coffee table. you can’t even remember how long they’ve been there. he gently begins to clean you up, wiping at any juices staining your thighs.

“we’ll get a new one, angel. we’ve had this one for so long i’m surprised you didn’t feel the springs poking into you. you were pressed right into it”, he quips with a raise of his eyebrow.

your cheeks bloom red and you swat at his arm again, “soonyoung”, you hiss.

he tosses the used wipe into the trash can and looks at you with a grin. “you can’t be shy after that”, he says. “and it’s true. you were, and it surely won’t be the last time”, he adds.

you blush a bright pink at his words as he leans down to kiss you. he gently props you up and continues peppering kisses to your lips and heated cheeks with a chuckle. “i’ll run a bath for us, hm?”, he says, massaging your thighs and lower stomach to dull the ache. he hopes you won’t feel it as much after a warm bath. you hum in acknowledgment.

as soonyoung pushes himself off the couch with another kiss to your forehead, you think you couldn’t be happier. you feel so safe, so secure with the fact that you placed your trust in his hands. your first time in his hands.

and you know he feels the same. soonyoung would place his life in yours.

—

omg this one is long…. but ahh!! this was so much fun to write!! sweet hoshi talking u through it is my weakness..

thank u @horanghaezone for requesting this ask and i hope u enjoy it!!

as always, asks and requests are open and reblogs and comments are so so appreciated!!

676 notes · View notes

hoshifighting · 4 months

Text

The Biggest Fanboy

Synopsis: Sooyoung, a loyal fanboy, expressed his admiration for you, his favorite choreographer through social media and DMs. The dynamic unfolds as you, the choreographer, surprises Sooyoung with a visit to his dance studio.

Word count: 6.4k

Reader! Famous choreographer, Hoshi! Her biggest fanboy, also a dance studio owner

Warnings: smut, oral (f. and m. receiving), lap dance, dancing sex? Soonyoung is WHIPPED and also a good boy!, unprotected sex, hair pulling, praising, they run away from his studio, intense sex.

As Y/N, a renowned choreographer with a string of successes in the world of dance, you've always been dedicated to your craft. In the bustling metropolis, your fame has reached unexpected heights, attracting fans from all walks of life. Among them is Kwon Sooyoung, a talented dancer who, to your surprise, happens to be a fanboy of your work.

Sooyoung, the proud owner of a prominent dance studio in the heart of the city, has made his admiration for your choreography evident through social media and interviews. His posts and comments on your platforms are a testament to his genuine appreciation for your artistry. Despite the virtual nature of your interactions, there's a unique connection that has developed between you and Sooyoung over the years.

The dance community buzzes with excitement whenever Sooyoung shares his thoughts about your latest creations. His loyalty is unwavering, and his dreams of meeting you one day are a constant thread in his online presence. The friendly exchanges in your direct messages have become a regular occurrence, and he never misses an opportunity to extend an invitation for you to visit his studio.

One day, with a break in your busy schedule, you decide to surprise Sooyoung and make good on his invitation. The metropolis stretches out before you as you arrive at his studio, a sleek and modern space with glass walls that offer glimpses of dancers in various stages of practice. The energy is palpable as you walk through the hallway, admiring the dedication of those who share the same passion for movement.

The receptionist welcomes you warmly, explaining that Sooyoung is currently teaching a class. She gestures down the hallway, directing you to the last room on the right where you can observe the class in session. As you make your way, the sound of music and the rhythmic beat of dancing feet grow louder.

As you sat on the bench, Sooyoung wrapped up the dance class, you couldn't help but be enchanted by the scene before you. The little girls, with beaming smiles, gathered around him like a flock of eager butterflies drawn to the warmth of his presence. Sooyoung, wearing that bright pink ballet skirt over his black sweatpants with an air of confidence, embodied a perfect blend of professionalism and playfulness.

The music faded, and Sooyoung, with his infectious energy, announced, "It's time to say goodbye, girls!" The children, bubbling with enthusiasm, rushed toward him, calling out, "Uncle Soonyoung!" Your heart warmed as you witnessed the genuine affection they held for him.

One by one, Sooyoung embraced each child, lifting them off the ground and spinning them in his arms. Laughter filled the room as he playfully interacted with each girl, making sure to pat their heads and exchange a few words before letting them go. His genuine care and affection for his young students were palpable.

Observing this heartwarming spectacle, You couldn't help but be captivated by Sooyoung's ability to create a nurturing and joyous environment in his dance studio. The way he effortlessly connected with the children showcased not only his skills as a dancer but also his genuine love for teaching and mentoring.

As the last of the children leave the room, Sooyoung takes a moment to catch his breath and rehydrate. He reaches for a water bottle, taking a sip as he absentmindedly scrolls through his phone, unaware of the surprise awaiting him.

Meanwhile, you stand outside the glass wall, arms crossed, and a wide grin on your face. The anticipation builds as you patiently wait for Sooyoung to look up and notice your presence.

Finally, as if prompted by some invisible cue, Sooyoung's gaze shifts from his phone to the room beyond. His peripheral vision catches a glimpse of your figure, and he does a double-take. The water bottle pauses mid-air as he raises his eyes, and a gasp escapes him. His eyes widen in disbelief, and he chokes on his water at the unexpected sight of you.

Coughing and sputtering, Sooyoung quickly puts down the water bottle, his expression evolving from surprise to sheer excitement. His eyes lock with yours through the glass, and a mix of emotions plays on his face—joy, disbelief, and genuine happiness. His phone slips from his hand, momentarily forgotten as he rushes to the door, his eyes fixed on you. "Y/n?" Oh my goodness, what are you doing here?" Sooyoung stammered. The little girls' earlier cries of 'Uncle Soonyoung' are now replaced by the pulsating beat of your name on his lips. "I never thought you'd actually come."

"Well, here I am," you answer, you can't help but smile at his reaction, appreciating the sincerity in his voice. "Well, I figured it was about time I took you up on that invitation," you reply with a playful glint in your eyes "your enthusiasm on social media finally convinced me."

Sooyoung laughs, a joyful sound that fills the room. "I can't believe you saw all those fangirl comments and actually decided to visit. This is amazing!"

You can't help but chuckle at Sooyoung's sudden self-awareness as he glances around, perhaps noticing your gaze lingering on his choice of attire. "I'm sorry, I must look like a mess after the class." He apologizes with a sheepish grin, acknowledging the contrast between the bright pink ballet skirt and the practical black sweatpants.

"Oh, don't apologize at all," you assure him, your smile widening. "I think it's a bold fashion statement. Shows you're not afraid to have a little fun, even while teaching."

Sooyoung relaxes a bit, the corners of his mouth turning up in relief. "Yeah, it's a little tradition I have with the kids. They love it when I wear something unexpected. Keeps the energy high, you know?"

You nod in understanding, appreciating the effort he puts into creating a lively and enjoyable atmosphere for his students. The vibrant pink skirt becomes a symbol of his dedication and connection with the kids he teaches.

Sooyoung beams with pride, leading you further into the dance studio. "I've been following your work for years, and having you here is like a dream come true for me and the kids."

"Thank you for making the time to come here. My students are going to lose their minds when they find out you're here," he says, excitement evident in his voice.

You wave off his gratitude with a smile, appreciating the genuine excitement in Sooyoung's voice. "It's my pleasure. I've heard so much about your studio, and I couldn't resist seeing it for myself."

As you walk through the vibrant space, the walls echoing with the sounds of laughter and the rhythmic steps of dance, you can feel the energy and passion that permeate the studio.

"Guess who's here, everyone?" Sooyoung exclaims, and the anticipation in the room builds.

The students exchange curious glances until their eyes fall upon you, the famous choreographer they've likely seen on screens and admired from a distance. The realization dawns on them, and the room buzzes with excitement.

As the students express their awe and gratitude, you find yourself surrounded by a group of enthusiastic young dancers eager to share their experiences and ask questions. Sooyoung watches with pride as the studio transforms into a hub of excitement and inspiration.

"See what I mean?" Sooyoung says to you with a grin.

[...]

As the clock strikes 10 pm, you check your phone and realize it's time to bid farewell to the lively dance studio. Sooyoung, with a hint of disappointment on his face, accepts the announcement that you need to leave. His shoulders sag a bit, reminiscent of a child whose playtime is coming to an end.

"Thank you so much for coming. This means a lot to all of us," Sooyoung expresses his gratitude once again.

You chuckle at his childlike reaction, finding it endearing. "It was my pleasure, Sooyoung. Your studio is truly something special."

As you gather your things to leave, Sooyoung, with a shy yet hopeful expression, hesitates before making a request. "Um, can I... Can I give you a hug?"

His cheeks flush with embarrassment, and you can't help but find his humility charming. You agree with a warm smile, and he practically beams with joy as he wraps his arms around you. Sooyoung seems to forget the world around him for a moment, reveling in the embrace, and he murmurs a heartfelt thank you.

Stepping back, he seizes the opportunity to extend another invitation, this time to the upcoming spring confraternization of the studio on Saturday. Sooyoung's eyes reflect a mix of hope and excitement as he asks, "Would you like to come? It would mean the world to everyone."

You consider the invitation, appreciating the sincerity in his request. "I'll see if I can make it. If my schedule allows, count me in."

Sooyoung's face lights up with joy once again, and he thanks you eagerly. With a final wave, you exit the dance studio, leaving behind a room filled with memories of unexpected surprises, shared laughter, and the promise of a potential reunion at the upcoming spring event.

As you arrive home, your phone buzzes with excitement, and Sooyoung's name lights up on the screen. With a smile, you open the messages to find a delightful spam of photos, capturing the memorable moments you shared at the dance studio. You respond in kind, sharing some of the photos you took, creating a virtual album of the unexpected day.

Sooyoung comments that a fellow dancer from the studio managed to capture some beautiful shots. Anticipation builds as you wait for the photos to download. When the images finally reveal themselves, there's a heartwarming photo of the two of you hugging and another where you're captured mid-laughter.

"We look good," you reply, adding a playful emoji to convey your delight at the captured moments.

Inspired by the joyous memories, you decide to share a sequence of photos from the day on your social media. The last image in the series is the candid shot of you and Sooyoung wrapped in a warm embrace. In the caption, you express your gratitude, acknowledging Sooyoung's kindness and the incredible day you spent at his studio.

"Such a sweetheart! 🌟 Today was absolutely incredible. Thank you for welcoming me so warmly, Sooyoung" you write, accompanied by a heart emoji.

The post quickly garners attention, with friends, fans, and followers expressing their admiration for the dynamic duo and the evident connection between the famous choreographer and the dedicated dance studio owner.

Sooyoung's excitement reaches new heights as he sees your post on social media, featuring the photos of the two of you hugging. In a burst of enthusiasm, he can't contain himself and immediately shows the post to Seungkwan and Dokyeom, eager to share the unexpected turn of events.

"Guys, look at this!" Sooyoung exclaims, waving his phone at his friends. "Guess who just posted pictures of us hugging?"

Seungkwan and Dokyeom lean in to get a better look, their curiosity piqued. As the images appear on the screen, they exchange amused glances, clearly entertained by the uproar unfolding in the comments section.

"Soonyoung, you sly dog," Dokyeom teases, nudging him playfully. "Looks like her fanbase is having a field day with this."

Seungkwan adds with a grin, "I knew you had a soft spot for each other. The fans are shipping you two hard."

Sooyoung's cheeks flush with a mix of embarrassment and excitement. "I didn't expect this at all. They really think we look like a couple?"

Dokyeom chuckles, "Well, judging by these comments, they're all in for it. Y'all are becoming a thing, apparently."

Seungkwan joins in the laughter, "Who would've thought? Your crush is now the talk of the country, Sooyoung." The three of them share a moment of camaraderie and amusement as they scroll through the comments, witnessing the unexpected frenzy caused by the seemingly innocent hug.

[...]

Sooyoung had been tapping his feet nervously, anticipation building as he awaited your arrival at the studio's spring event. Throughout the week, your conversations had been filled with uncertainties due to your hectic schedule. He hadn't received a confirmation, leaving him on edge, hoping against hope that you'd show up.

He couldn't help but feel a rush of relief and excitement when he caught sight of you walking towards the studio. With a quick glance in the window's reflection, he hastily adjusted his hair and straightened his shirt, hoping to make a good impression.

As you entered, the energy in the room shifted. The circle of people around you buzzed with excitement, eager to engage with the renowned choreographer in their midst. You graciously greeted them, sharing smiles and warm words, soaking in the atmosphere.

But when your gaze finally met Sooyoung's, his heart skipped a beat. Your bright smile was like a ray of sunshine, and as the crowd parted, you made your way toward him. The circle of people hushed, giving the two of you a moment.

You embraced Sooyoung in a warm hug, and his nerves melted away in that instant. "I'm so glad I could make it," you said softly.

Sooyoung, feeling a rush of emotions, stammered slightly, "I-I can't believe you're here. I mean, I hoped, but... wow."

You chuckled at his flustered reaction, deciding to playfully tease him. "Were you worried I wouldn't show up?"

He blushed, a mix of embarrassment and joy coloring his cheeks. "I, uh, well... maybe a little. It's just... it means a lot that you came."

"Well, you did invite me, didn't you? Couldn't let you down, especially with all these fans waiting to see us together."

Sooyoung, reveling in the playful banter, smirks mischievously in response to your comment. "Oh, I see how it is," he teases, feigning mock offense. "I thought you came just for my dazzling dance moves, not to please the fans." He winks, his tone light and full of humor, "Guess I'll have to step up my game then, huh?"

You raise an eyebrow playfully, your eyes shifting to the big TV across the room where a video from Sooyoung's YouTube channel plays, showcasing his impeccable dance skills to a sensual song. With a sly grin, you suggest, "Maybe you can show me all those dazzling dance moves... when we're alone."

Sooyoung, catching on to the playful tone, licks his lips with a suggestive smirk. "Oh, trust me," he replies, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, "I've got a whole private playlist of moves that haven't made it to YouTube yet. Maybe you'll get an exclusive performance sometime."

In a whispered tease, you say, "Maybe you can give me a private lesson in those unreleased moves later. I'm curious to see if they're as impressive as you claim."

Your sultry suggestion catches Sooyoung off guard, and he sharply inhales, his eyes widening slightly at the unexpected turn in the conversation. "Well, if you're up for it, maybe I'll have to give you a sneak peek right here, right now," he whispers back, his breath warm against your ear.

As you spot Sooyoung's car in the garage, you turn to him with a playful grin. "Are you seriously going to ditch the event like this?" you inquire, raising an eyebrow.

Sooyoung, clicking the car key with a confident smirk, glances at you with a hint of mischief. "Who cares about the event when I can have you all to myself?" he responds, his tone carrying a touch of naughtiness.

His carefree attitude about leaving the event behind to have an intimate moment with you adds to the excitement. The sound of the car unlocking becomes a signal for your private escape.

As you settle into Sooyoung's car, the city lights casting a soft glow on the interior, you turn to him with a teasing smile. "So, why exactly do you want to have me all to yourself?" you ask, raising an eyebrow in playful curiosity.

Sooyoung glances at you, his eyes holding a mischievous spark. "Well," he begins, his tone playfully contemplative, "I thought it'd be a shame to waste such a perfect night on anyone else when I could have your undivided attention."

"Someone's being a bit greedy, wanting me all to themselves. Don't you know how to share?"

Sooyoung, without missing a beat, smirks and replies, "Well, when it comes to you, I don't mind being a little selfish. Can you blame me?"

With a sly grin, you lean in a little closer, your voice taking on a more suggestive tone. "Well, if you're going to be greedy, you better be prepared to handle all of me," you tease, letting the implication hang in the air.

Sooyoung, caught off guard by the unexpected boldness, feels a rush of heat. He glances at you with widened eyes, a mix of surprise and desire evident on his face. The atmosphere in the car becomes charged with a different kind of energy, and you can sense the playful banter taking a more flirtatious turn. Your naughty answer has the desired effect, making Sooyoung's mind race with anticipation as the city lights continue to flicker outside the car window.

As the car comes to a stop at a red signal, you feel Sooyoung's gaze lingering on the exposed skin of your thighs. Sensing his desire, you catch his eye and decide to playfully escalate the teasing. With the tip of your fingers, you subtly pull up the hem of your dress, revealing more of your legs.

Sooyoung, his eyes now fixed on the provocative sight, glances up to meet yours. His gaze darkens with desire, and he inhales sharply. "If you keep teasing me like this," he murmurs, his voice low and filled with a mixture of lust and anticipation, "I can't guarantee I'll be able to wait until we get somewhere."

With a sly smile, you respond to Sooyoung's suggestive remark, "I think I'd prefer a bit more space than a car. Besides, there are some moves I want to show you that might not be suitable for the back seat."

Sooyoung's eyes light up with a mix of excitement and curiosity as he hears your response. "Well, now you've got my attention. What kind of moves are we talking about here?" he asks, a playful grin playing on his lips.

You maintain the sly smile, enjoying the playful banter between you two. "Oh, you'll just have to wait and see. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise," you reply, your tone teasing and suggestive.

"Well, then," he says, the anticipation evident in his voice, "where do you suggest we go? I'm up for a little adventure."

Sooyoung's grin widens as you suggest, "How about we continue this adventure at my place?"

His eyes light up with excitement, and he nods in agreement. "Sounds like a plan" he replies, his voice carrying a playful yet eager tone.

You slide your hands to his thigh, a subtle yet unmistakable signal guiding him towards your house. Sooyoung, his mind still buzzing from the teasing and the charged atmosphere, follows your lead.

He turns the car, the familiar quarter of your apartment passing by once again. The combination of the tantalizing proximity and your hand inching higher on his thigh has Sooyoung's concentration wavering. The city lights outside blur as he navigates the familiar route, the rhythm of the car reflecting the heightened pulse of the night.

In the confined space of the elevator, Sooyoung locks eyes with you from across the corner. A charged atmosphere fills the air as the anticipation reaches its peak. With a swift move, Sooyoung steps closer, his eyes conveying an undeniable desire.

Without a word, he surprises you with a passionate tongue kiss, the sudden intensity catching you off guard. His lips meet yours in a heated embrace, and you can feel the hunger in the way he kisses, a mix of desire and urgency. Sooyoung's hands grip you tightly, pulling you closer as the elevator continues its ascent.

As the elevator door opens, you pull Sooyoung with you, still lost in the fervor of the kiss. The two of you stumble towards your apartment door, the intensity of the moment propelling you forward. The keys tremble in your hands as you fumble to unlock the door, the urgency building with each passing second.

Finally, the door swings open, and you practically run inside, eager to feel Sooyoung's lips on yours again. You turn around, your back against the door, your bodies pressed together. Sooyoung wastes no time, and his lips find their way to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses that sends shivers down your spine.

With a subtle yet assertive move, you pull Sooyoung by the hem of his shirt, guiding him towards your room. The anticipation between you two continues to grow, and you have a plan in mind. Once in your room, you reach for your phone, intending to set the mood with a carefully chosen song.

After selecting the perfect track, you toss your phone onto the desk and turn your attention back to Sooyoung. With a teasing smile, you guide him to sit on the bed.

Sooyoung, unable to resist the alluring rhythm of your hips moving in sync with the music, bites his lip in a gesture of both desire and restraint. A moan escapes him, his eyes narrowing with intensity as he gazes at you. His furrowed eyebrows and fluttering eyes betray a mixture of longing and arousal, the unspoken connection between you becoming increasingly palpable.

As the music continues to play, creating a sultry backdrop to the scene, Sooyoung lays on his elbows, his eyes locked onto you with a mix of desire and anticipation. Sensing the connection between you two, you decide to take control, and you hover over him, creating an intimate space between your bodies.

You lift your hips up and down, the rhythm of the motion syncing with the music. He can feel your pussy bumping into his dick on purpose when you swing your ass above his bulge.

Sooyoung, captivated by the intimate dance and the connection between you two, lets out a low, throaty whisper, his voice dripping with desire. "You're driving me crazy," he confesses, his words revealing the intensity of the sensations that course through him.

His gaze remains locked onto you, a mixture of admiration and longing in his eyes. As the music weaves its way around the room, his hands find a gentle yet firm place on your hips, following the rhythm you've set. The unspoken language of desire fills the air, and in this intimate moment, Sooyoung's words echo the emotions that swirl between you, creating a soundtrack to the shared experience unfolding in the dimly lit room.

The room is filled with a charged silence as you take the hem of your dress and pull it up, revealing yourself naked to Sooyoung. His eyes widen in surprise, and a sharp inhale escapes him as his mouth slightly opens, captivated by the sight before him. The dim lighting accentuates the contours of your figure, casting a sensual glow on the intimate moment.

Sooyoung's eyes widen even further in chock as he realizes you're wearing nothing underneath the dress adds another layer of intensity to the moment.

A soft moan escapes your lips, a natural response to the electrifying contact between his pants and your exposed cunt. The fabric creates a tantalizing friction on your clit, adding a layer of intensity to the sensual dance.

Sooyoung, attuned to your reactions, registers the moan with a mixture of satisfaction and heightened desire. His hands, still firmly placed on your hips, tighten slightly in response to the shared sensations, pulling you closer and pressing you firmly against his bulge.

As Sooyoung takes off his shirt, revealing a sculpted and toned physique, he starts to dance his hips, swaying with a rhythm that mirrors the sultry music playing in the background. The tactile sensation of Sooyoung's rough jeans against your pussy adds a heightened dimension to the dance of desire. The fabric, brushing against you with every movement, creates a tantalizing friction that further amplifies your pleasure.

In the intimate setting, you look into Sooyoung's eyes and, with a sultry tone, express your longing, "Sooyoung-ah, I want more. I want you so bad."

His thumb runs through your folds, then he starts circling your clit, your knees shaking with the sudden contact of his warm skin. Sooyoung, still teasing with his skilled fingers, leans in and asks in a sultry whisper, "Do you really want me?" His question hangs in the air, the room filled with a charged anticipation. Without waiting for a verbal response, he plants a series of sensual kisses along the valley of your breasts.

Feeling the intensity of the moment, you grip Sooyoung's hair firmly, making him hiss. His eyes meet yours, a mix of surprise and desire evident in his gaze. With a sense of urgency, Sooyoung speeds up his actions in response to your moans, each movement adding to the crescendo of desire in the room.

Sooyoung, driven by the escalating desire, pulls you to the edge of the bed. He kneels on the floor, his gaze locking with yours from below. The change in perspective adds an extra layer of intensity to the moment. Your breath catches as Sooyoung's mouth works its magic, each touch and caress sending waves of pleasure through your body. Clit being sucked and flicked with his warm tongue, making you scream his name.

Sooyoung, immersed in the task at hand, closes his eyes, dedicating himself to giving you pleasure. His focused demeanor showcases his commitment, as if it's a ride-or-die mission. You run your fingers gently along his cheek, appreciating the dedication he puts into the moment. A soft laugh escapes you as you observe how intensely he's focused.

With a teasing tone, you praise him, "Soonyoun-gie, you're doing so well for me, such a good boy, the best boy." The words find their way into his consciousness, and his cheeks flush with a delightful shade of red. The combination of your praises and the pleasure he's providing creates a potent mix of sensations on him making him moan, vibrations sent straight to your clit.

As the rhythm of your lungs speeds up, breathing becoming fast and erratic, Sooyoung keenly notices the heightened intensity. In response, he speeds up, gripping your thighs tighter with a determined glare. The acceleration of his movements pushes you to the edge, and the climax arrives with an intensity that takes you by surprise.

As you catch your breath, Sooyoung's gaze meets yours with a satisfaction, and he rises from his kneeling position, a satisfied and content expression on his face. The dimly lit room is filled with a post-climactic tranquility as you catch your breath.

Sooyoung, still close, brushes a gentle kiss against your forehead, a tender gesture that adds to the intimacy of the moment. The air is thick with a shared connection, and a comfortable silence envelops the room.

With a playful glint in your eyes, you suggest, "You deserve a reward," as you notice Sooyoung's pants growing tighter. He chuckles nervously, attempting to decline the offer, "No, no, no need to. I'm satisfied."

Ignoring his protests, you proceed to unbutton his jeans, your hands working with a deliberate intent on his hard dick. "I swear, Y/N-nie, I-I'm already too-" As your touch intensifies, Sooyoung's words begin to slow down until they get lost in the growing tension. His breath becomes heavier against your neck, the room filled with the palpable anticipation of the next shared experience.

In the quiet, intimate space between you and Sooyoung, his protests become muffled breaths against your neck as your hands continue their skillful exploration. As you work your magic, Sooyoung's resistance dissolves, replaced by a growing need. He breathes heavily against your neck, words escaping him in fragmented whispers. "I... I didn't expect this... you're too much," he stammers.

Amused by Sooyoung's sincerity, you praise him once again, "You deserve it, you know. You made me feel so good." As you swing your feet, a playful expression on your face, you continue, "And it's not just about me. You should enjoy it too."

Sooyoung, still catching his breath, shakes his head, a content smile playing on his lips. "I'm already satisfied, honestly. Just seeing you like that, hearing you... it's more than enough. I dreamt about that," he admits, his eyes reflecting a mixture of satisfaction and a touch of vulnerability.

You can't help but find it endearing, his selflessness in the pursuit of your pleasure. "You're too good, Sooyoung-ah," you say, a teasing glint in your eyes.

In response to your teasing, Sooyoung chuckles nervously, "I-I'm fine, really. No need for anything else." However, you can sense a subtle curiosity in his eyes, a desire to explore further.

With a playful grin, you lean in closer, your breath warm against his ear. "Are you sure?" you whisper, your voice carrying a hint of mischief. "I can make your dreams come true too, Sooyoung-ah."

His cheeks flush slightly, a mix of embarrassment and anticipation. "Well, maybe just a little," he admits, his gaze meeting yours with a shy smile.

As Sooyoung gets free from the rest of his clothes, he watches you approach his cock with a mixture of anticipation and nervous excitement. His breath becomes shakier, and he confesses, "I think I'm going to lose my mind."

A mischievous smile plays on your lips as you respond, "That's exactly what I want, Sooyoung-ah." Your words add a layer of playful tension to the room, and you continue to pump his dick with a deliberate touch.

Sooyoung sulks slightly, a mix of embarrassment and pleasure washing over him. He mutters, "This is too much," but his body betrays him, responding to your every touch.

As the exploration continues, Sooyoung's sulking demeanor begins to transform into a mixture of pleasure and surrender. Your skilled touch elicits soft moans from him.

Despite his initial protests, Sooyoung's body responds eagerly to your every move.

You pause amidst the intimate exchange, a soft smile gracing your lips as you ask, "Are you always this shy?" starting to pump him again.

Sooyoung, his cheeks still flushed, chuckles softly and replies, "No, it's not usually like this. I guess it's just... you."

You raise an eyebrow, feigning surprise. "Me? What did I do to make you so shy, Sooyoung-ah?"

He shrugs playfully, a shy smile lingering on his lips. "I don't know. You just have this effect on me, I guess." he replies as he watches you getting down.

As your mouth wraps around Sooyoung's cock, he gasps loudly, arching his back in response to the unexpected pleasure. His mumbles become a symphony of fragmented words and hushed expressions of pleasure.

"Oh, woah," he gasps, fingers tangling in your hair. "T-that feels... amazing," he stammers, his voice catching between breaths. Incoherent whispers escape him as the sensations ripple through his body.

You feel his rapid heartbeat beneath your touch, his mumbles a testament to the overwhelming pleasure he's experiencing.

Sooyoung can't help but vocalize his pleasure when his tip hits the back of your throat, making a dripping mess around his cock, and then coming back, licking the head with flickering licks.

Sooyoung, caught in the throes of pleasure, finds himself reaching the peak of ecstasy. The grip on your hair tightens, a mixture of desire and urgency. His moans become more pronounced, blending with your own shared sounds of passion.

"Ah, sorry," he manages to mumble between moans, his voice husky with desire. He loosens his grip, his fingers now gently caressing your scalp as an apology. However, you find the roughness oddly pleasurable, and it only adds to the heightened atmosphere.

His words continue to be a mix of apologies and incoherent expressions of pleasure. "Didn't mean to," he whispers, but his actions betray his sincerity.

As Sooyoung reaches his peak of pleasure, his grip tightens momentarily before his body tenses with the release. He makes a mess, his breath hitching with the intensity of the moment. His chin lifts, and he throws his head back, a guttural moan escaping his lips.

The room is filled with the aftermath of shared ecstasy, the air heavy with a mix of passion and satisfaction. Sooyoung's body relaxes, and he breathes heavily, the waves of pleasure slowly subsiding.

After the intensity of the moment, you lean in to kiss Sooyoung, sharing the intimate taste of the aftermath. Your lips linger on his, and then you trail kisses across his cheeks, coaxing him back to the present.

As he slowly returns from the depths of ecstasy, you look into his eyes and softly ask, "Are you good, Sooyoung?"

Unable to formulate words, Sooyoung responds with a deep, satisfied moan. His body, still humming with the echoes of pleasure, communicates a sense of contentment that transcends spoken language.

As Sooyoung starts to regain consciousness, he begins to kiss your neck with a newfound awareness. The intimate act sends shivers down your spine, and you can feel his growing desire pressing against you.

His lips linger on your neck, and in the sultry atmosphere, you playfully remark, "Feeling more awake now, Sooyoung-ah?"

Sooyoung, his voice laced with desire, responds, "Very awake, especially here," as he gently emphasizes his growing arousal.

A mischievous glint in your eyes, you tease, "Should we change positions, or are you comfortable like this?"

Sooyoung, unable to resist the playful banter, grins, "I think a change of scenery would be nice. What do you have in mind?"

As the dynamics shift, Sooyoung now on top of you, his gaze filled with attentiveness, you look up at him with a playful yet commanding glint in your eyes. With a sly smile, you order, "Sooyoung-ah, show me your best moves. Dance for me."

His eyes widen with surprise, a mix of curiosity and excitement playing on his features.

Sooyoung, embracing the challenge with enthusiasm, focuses on the intimate performance. The music playing in the background becomes a subtle soundtrack to the dance unfolding between you two. He pushes only his tip, making you look at him with hooded eyes, biting your lip.

As Sooyoung hovers over you, his gaze filled with a mix of desire and concern for your comfort, he softly asks, "How do you want it, slowly or all in at once?"

You pause for a moment, meeting his gaze with a playful yet anticipatory expression. "Surprise me," you respond, your voice filled with a hint of excitement.

As Sooyoung fulfills your request and enters all at once, a gasp escapes your lips, quickly turning into a passionate scream of his name. The room resonates with the intensity of the moment, the sound of your voice echoing through the intimate space.

Sooyoung, captivated by the raw and unrestrained pleasure he evoked, finds himself amazed. The realization that his biggest inspiration is screaming his name in the most explicit way adds a layer of ecstasy to the experience.

As Sooyoung begins to roll his hips, his hands exploring every inch of your body, the dance takes on a new rhythm. The synchronization of his movements with the subtle beats of the song transforms the room into a private stage.

His hips meet yours in a rhythmic dance, circling and rolling in a slow and deliberate motion. Each movement sends waves of pleasure through your body, making your toes curl with the intoxicating sensation.

Sooyoung starts to pick up the pace, his movements becoming faster and more fervent. The connection deepens as he feels you tightening around him, a telltale sign of shared ecstasy.

Sooyoung, balancing on the edge of the bed, moans with a mixture of pleasure and a hint of surrender. "Right there," you cry out, his name escaping your lips. Sensing the impending climax, you encourage him with breathless urgency, "Don't stop, Sooyoung, don't you dare stop." Sooyoung, his voice strained with desire, responds, "I won't stop, not until you're fully satisfied."

As Sooyoung continues his passionate rhythm, each thrust hitting that exquisite spot with precision, the intensity builds. The pleasure becomes almost overwhelming, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes as your body tenses in response.

Then, in a wave of ecstasy, you reach the climax. Your body arches, and a torrent of pleasure courses through you, wetting both him and the bed. The room echoes with the sounds of your moans, and your body stretches in a blissful release, forming a perfect "O."

As Sooyoung witnesses the physical and emotional intensity etched across your face — the tightness around him, your shaky knees, and the continuous symphony of moans — a profound realization hits him. The sheer pleasure, the uncontrollable reactions, it's all because of him.

Overwhelmed by the sight before him, he succumbs to the intensity of the moment. His moans become a mantra of your name, a vocal expression of the pleasure coursing through him.

Your bodies are locked in a passionate embrace, and Sooyoung, on the precipice of climax, finally reaches the peak. He fills you up, the room resonating with the echoes of shared ecstasy, the culmination of a dance that transcended physicality.

In the aftermath of shared pleasure, Sooyoung, overwhelmed by a surge of emotions, tightens his embrace as if cherishing the moment. His arms envelop you as if it were the last time you'd be together in such an intimate space.

You, equally caught in the emotional currents, caress his hair tenderly, planting gentle kisses on his cheek. The room becomes a haven for shared vulnerability, a sanctuary where physical and emotional intimacy converge.

"I've admired you for so long, and now, being with you like this, it feels surreal."

You gently tease Sooyoung, noting his sentiment, "You're acting like this is our last moment together."

He raises his shoulder in a playful shrug, a hint of uncertainty in his expression. "I... I don't know what happens next."

Your tone softens with a playful reassurance, "Relax, it's not the end. In fact, I want to do this again. Maybe 200 times in every corner of my house."

Sooyoung's eyes widen in pleasant surprise at your suggestion. "200 times? That's... quite a lot," he stammers, caught off guard by the playful proposal.

You chuckle at his reaction, enjoying the playful banter. "I'm just kidding. But I definitely wouldn't mind doing this again."

The room fills with a light-hearted atmosphere, the tension easing into a comfortable and playful exchange. Sooyoung, recovering from the initial surprise, raises an eyebrow in playful curiosity. "Does that number also include the rounds?"

You chuckle, shaking your head, "No, no. The rounds are not included in that count. But speaking of rounds, how about a round two in the bathroom?"

Sooyoung, now grinning, responds with a hint of mischief, "Bathroom, huh? That sounds intriguing. Lead the way."

718 notes · View notes

gyuswhore · 11 months

Text

The thing about love;

Hoshi (k.s.y) x reader; university!au (ft. Jeonghan x OC)

genre: fluff, angst, humour, one sided pining

warnings: slow burn, swearing, corny jokes, slapping (apologies are given), yelling, alcohol, shitty friends, kind of a mean girl thing (not reader), broken friendships, heavy emotions (at certain points), reader in denial (lmk if there's anything else)

25.3k words (I will better myself)

masterlist

excerpt: The slap you sent across Kwon Soonyoung’s face sent a reverberating sound across the dance studio.

He looks up, eyes bloodshot and swimming with fury. There’s a hint of a smile on his face for some reason, which you realize may be out of disbelief.

You don’t register anything else other than the rage that accelerates down your own veins. There’s a part of you that wants to do it again when he utters his next words.

“That was a bad fucking idea”

(A/N): FINALLY it's here. Tysm for clicking on this I love y'all tons for the support on all my other work, I hope this one makes the mark too! This reflects more of my personal situations more than you’d think, broken friendships that you'd never imagine to lose hurt like a bitch and I’m so sorry if you’ve gone through this too. Hopefully, Hoshi can give you some solace <3

***

“No” had become your response to a lot of people ever since they started finding out you were best friends with Jennie.

You loved her, a lot, but not that much when people in your classes that you’ve never spoken to before would come up to ask for her number under the pretense of asking for notes.

Jennie was gorgeous. She was gorgeous in elementary school, never had an awkward middle school phase, and was classified as stunning all throughout high school. It was a bit unbelievable, but having seen it all, it was common knowledge for you. While she was naturally very pretty, Jennie always knew how to carry herself. She realized what she had to do to look presentable when most pre-teens like her, absolutely did not. This was confidence that she’d built for years.

At an age where everyone is trying to find themselves, Jennie had herself all figured out.

You were denying another poor lover in the library, knowing he was cussing you out in his head for wasting his time. This one lasted longer though, you had almost 3 separate study sessions before he popped the question.

Honestly, you really can’t complain too much. It was nice having a study partner that sacrificed their wants for your own conditions and preferences - you hated when people spoke to you before the timer went off, Jennie doesn’t get that. You see it coming, after 3 years, of course you do, but you let it happen because there was really no way to deflect them when there was no obvious giveaway to the general individual, and you got use out of it, so you let it be.

Besides, it got significantly easier by your second year, when you finally had a reason for your “no” that actually made them shut up.

“She has a boyfriend”

His face kind of falls, but you knew you weren’t telling him any information he didn’t know. But he tried anyway, and you can respect that.

Jennie started dating Kwon Soonyoung of the dance team at the beginning of her second year at university. He was fine, you meet him a lot during frat parties and other meet-ups; you’d classify him as a friend but that was it really. His friends called him Hoshi (Jennie hated that name for some reason), he liked tigers (?) and he liked to dance. So much so that he was the pride of not just the dance team, but the university as a whole too. A micro-celebrity? You aren’t entirely sure, but you do know that he’s popular as fuck.

You decide to call it a day after watching the grumbly soul struggle through another 50 minutes of discreet math after his indirect rejection during your scheduled breaks. He’s quick to leave with a half smile; he won’t be texting you for too long after this.

You pack up to leave too, but not before grabbing Americano’s for both you and Jennie like she texted you a couple hours ago. You’re about to walk across the street to get to your dorm building when you hear a yell for your name along the pavement.

It’s Jennie running towards you at full speed. You turn to her in a panic trying to signal her to slow down, knowing what she was planning on doing.

“Jennie- JENNIE! I’m holding DRINKS, PLEASE”,

She doesn’t care as she continues to barrel towards you faster, forcing you to jump out of the way when she gets close enough so you don’t spill coffee all over your white zip up.

She tries to stop before she hits the banner advertising your uni’s IT club, which she does. But not before she drops her bag and herself with it onto the grass from the momentum. She jolts up, annoyed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had drinks in your hand?” she huffs

You look at her in mild shock, “The same drinks you asked me to get you? And what do you mean, I literally yelled at you, you could see them in my hands too”

She pauses before muttering “Whatever, help me up”

You lift your hands and arms full of coffee, a paper bag, and a tote in mock helplessness, “Hands full, sorry chief”

Once she does get up and dusts herself off, she helps you with your load as you cross the street back to your dorm.

Once there, you set everything down before heading in to change into your pajamas for comfort.

“Hey, can I call a raincheck on movie night? Soonie wants to show me the new choreo for comp but he doesn’t get the studio till 9 for like an hour”

You swerve in your socks as you hear her say that; this was the 4th time.

“Jennie, you said that last week! And the week before, and the one before that-"

“I know, I know! But please, you know he can’t run stuff through the team without showing me first” She has her pleading eyes out, she tries to walk towards you to squeeze you, but you dodge her for the second time that hour.

“Fine! Go to your man” you say, hands raised and visibly annoyed. You’re actually walking into your room before you come back out when you hear her start to say something “And don’t promise anything for next week, especially when you know you can’t keep it”

You slam the door a little too hard as you hear a muffled “I’ll make it up to you!” from the other side.

You scoff a little, also knowing that she’s repeated that for the past year and has barely kept to it.

You had hoped her blowing you off every other day for something was a symptom of the honeymoon phase, that she’d grow out of after the first couple months of dating Soonyoung. That couple months grew to more than a year and those two are still seemingly attached to the hip, which would be cute if it didn’t automatically put you on the lower side of the priority list.

It was disrespectful, and you’d never ever put up with it if it was anyone else, but you loved Jennie too much to give her more than a few stern responses. She’d stuck with you through your worst and your best, became a sister in every way but blood. No matter what, there comes a point where you realize you can’t abandon someone who’s become family.

Besides, you’re sure you’ve done (and actively do) multiple things that make her want to bury you 6 feet deep, and she hasn’t done it yet. Give and take?

That doesn’t stop you from pushing your legs into the holes of your pajama shorts any less aggressively though, actively pissed at another blow off. You wash the makeup off your face, scrubbing more aggressively than you should as you dry off to a red and irritated face. You hope the moisturizer helps.

When you come out Jennie’s already gone. It was still only 6 PM, but that wasn’t gonna stop her from jetting off at the first chance. You glance at the table to notice one missing coffee of two and a half a cold croissant.

At least she put it on a plate.

***

Joshua was sprawled out on the loveseat, blanket over his body as you ranted from the adjacent single-seater. You were watching Moana, but Maui’s character was pissing Joshua off for some reason so he turned your attention to a makeshift therapy session instead.

“How many times do you give someone the same, very upset reaction for them to stop continuing to do the same thing the next time? Because it’s really not fun being in a pissy mood for the rest of the day. I’m just tired of having to mentally prepare myself for a ‘hey, sorry’ text for any plan that we make, sometimes while I’m already at the place!”

You started slightly yelling at some point, and Joshua looks quite invested, despite hearing Jennie as a topic for the nth time, so you keep going.

“And I want to blame her boyfriend, but I can’t because, is it not her job to schedule things appropriately? She's a grown ass adult!"

You’re fully yelling now, breathing heavily as a weight is being lifted off your shoulders. You don't talk about Jennie problems with anyone except Joshua and Alyssa. You two were seen as too close-knit for you to be talking like this about her to people who were your close friends, but not enough to trust them to not get the wrong idea and think you're actively bashing her.

Because you're not, at least that's what both Josh and Alyssa tell you at the end of every frustrated ramble. It's guilt you feel, like you're betraying your friend for a petty problem you have with her attitude.

"You know, you'd think another party would be less important than a commitment she's been falling out on for 4 weeks," Joshua states, leaning across the gap between him and the coffee table to grab a handful of trail mix. "As much as I love watching an overgrown man baby sing about his life's achievements, it should be her sitting here not me. And that's something that's past the point of excuses"

"She's not at a party" you grumble, trying to take in Joshua's last bit about excuses.

"Yeah, she is" He retorts.

"How do you know that, fucking campus reporter or something?" you shoot back, annoyed at his certainty.

"You don't follow Hoshi? Or Dino? Or literally anyone from the dance team?"

"Why can't any of these people have normal names? And, yes, I do. I think I follow Jun or Hao or someone, Soonyoung too. Why does it matter?" you’re grumbling now.

"Where did Jennie tell you she went?" Joshua asks, his chewing slowed.

You're looking at him a little wavered now, when you answer.

"At the studio? She said it was at 9, and she should be there right now. Something about Soonyoung wanting to show her a new choreo for comp"

"Comp season ended last week, do even live in this establishment? Hoshi's passionate but even he needs rest, no way he has something cooked up so soon"

You're building a retort before he shoves his phone in your face.

"Besides they're literally at the end-of-season party, right now. The entire team's posting about it and Jennie's in the pictures"

You grab his phone as you see a shaky video of Jennie and her friend Minji dancing to indecipherable music, seemingly having the time of their lives. You're leaning forward, elbows on thighs, as you notice she's wearing the same outfit you last saw her in just a few hours ago.

You regret not touching your phone the entire day.

"Did you really not know? I thought that was why you were so mad"

You're tapping through the endless stories Chan had posted, almost all of them containing either Jennie or Soonyoung. Sometimes both. You only answer when you're done, and it moves to another person's posts.

"No. I didn't know" Your expression is blank, as you process what this meant.

"I think - she was invited too so she wasn't a plus one. She hosts the in-house competitions and everything." Joshua starts cautiously, monitoring your expression.

You know he's only telling you this because you hate not knowing. Anything. You hate being left in the dark.

Jennie knows that better than anyone.

"So, who was her plus one?" you ask, taking a breath and sitting up straight.

He pauses before saying, "I don't know, Minji’s there. I don't think she even knows anyone from the team"

You end up leaning back on the sofa, trying to process this new advancement. The cogs in your brain are pushing to rotate as hard as they can but whatever thought they're trying to pull is sedimented to stay as is.

"She's gonna come home drunk. And maybe bring Soonyoung with her. I really don't wanna be here for that" you say quietly, voicing the realization as it comes to you.

"Fuck that. Come home with me, and shut this stupid movie off" He grabs the remote and turns off the TV. It's completely silent in the room now.

"I can't, I have a meeting in the morning," you say, your voice devoid of any particular emotion.

"It's Saturday tomorrow. What do you mean?"

"Some T.A. thing, I don't know man" you reply.

"Pack an outfit then, grab a toothbrush bring a fucking suitcase, I don't care. You don't need to be seeing her anytime soon. "

You know he's right, you aren't sure what you'll do when you see her. You know she's gonna come home, with Soonyoung or not, she hates his roommates. She fucking hates everyone.

"Go. Pack your stuff, I'm taking you with me. Now. I'll clean up from here"

You push yourself off your seat and launch yourself forward into Joshua's arms. You hugged him for a little bit, trying to gain your bearings, he didn't say a word and just hugged you back.

As you're shoving your stuff into an overnight bag and pulling sweatpants over your shorts, you wonder what you would've done if you found out by yourself and were forced to come face to face with her.

Again, you're not sure what you'd do. But you're afraid the worst thing you probably would've done, was nothing.

***

Seokmin, Joshua's roommate wasn't home when you both got to his place. Which was upsetting because you were starting to count on his presence to make you feel better, as infectious as his optimism is. But you crash on Joshua's bed, nevertheless, trying to decide if you wanted to cry or make dinner.

You chose the latter except Joshua ate nothing but cereal and instant ramen, so you ordered takeout. But by the time the food got here, you had skimmed through your entire timeline for pictures of the end-of-season party, which it seemed like everyone was at.

You didn't care that you weren't invited, you didn't mind a good house party once in a while but it wasn't a regular occurrence for you and you liked it that way. It wasn't some gathering that you were missing right now.

What hurt was that Jennie lied straight to your face. And for seemingly no good reason other than she needed an excuse to get out of hanging out with you. It wasn’t that stuff like this was a rare occurrence, having gone to parties thrown by the dance team themselves multiple times; Jennie even more than that. You knew you weren't disliked by people, nor someone who brought the mood down by just sitting there. People on the team and beyond that were friends with you, if not that then they certainly knew of your existence.

You also knew that there was no excuse she could've given (outside of emergencies) that would not have made you upset, including a supposed private showing of her boyfriend’s prancing dance moves.

Throughout all of this, you found no possible reason why she would feel the need to lie to you, realizing more and more that the chances being within your faults were getting slimmer and slimmer with each passing thought.

You realize she may have been lying the past 4 weeks too if not more than that.

You’re voicing all of this as a train of thought as you eat your food on Joshua's bedroom floor. He's listening to you talk, allowing you to make connections and figure things out for yourself.

"Maybe I've been too insufferable. I don't know why else she'd do something like this"

Joshua scoffs as he picks at his veggies "My ass, it's her that's insufferable, they only ever invite her to stuff out of courtesy for Soonyoung. I guess her MC-ing thing is an added reason but I know for a fact that she's only there at other parties because of him"

He shovels a spoonful of rice in his mouth, "She used up her pretty privileges long ago before people realized how obnoxious she was. I get why you put up with her but honestly, can she stop yelling all the fucking time it's migraine-inducing just thinking about it"

Your interest was piqued when you urged Josh to continue. This was news to you.

"What do you mean? Is she not liked?"

"Let's start with how her mood swings are a nightmare, and she expects everyone to keep up with it and tend to her every last need. She hates it when Mingyu or anyone roasts her for something knowing full well she's said more than enough below-the-belt bullshit straight to his and other people's faces while laughing."

This was so much information. Too much.

"How come-"

"Because you’re her best friend. Why would anyone show you that they have a problem with her? Besides, it's not you that's the problem, it's her. They invite you all the time - they aren't bound to do that - because they want you to be there. Jennie's under the sour impression that it's her influence that brings you there, which is far from the truth"

You've put your utensils down at this point, processing yet another plethora of information.

"How come you didn't tell me about any of this," you ask him quietly.

You knew that Joshua wasn't too fond of Jennie because he believed she was using you too much. But how other people also felt was something you realize you should've figured out by yourself.

"Because you worry too much. That she'd get hurt or somebody might say something to her to put her off. You care too much to the point where you're more worried about her than she is about herself, let alone about you - no I don't wanna hear it, you know I'm right, Y/n"

Assertion was not common to hear with Joshua, so if he was being this stern, there had to be some validity to it that you can't see just yet.

So, you silence yourself and try to think about what this means for you.

"Why do you think she's being so careless right now? She's lying to you and then proceeding to not care that people are posting her. There's no way she doesn't know, she has about ten cameras shoved in her face in almost all of them. The truth of the matter is that she knows you're on her side no matter what, she doesn't have to worry about convincing you"

It's a slap in the face, but one that you know you needed if you were to take any steps going forward.

"Should I talk to her about it tomorrow?" You ask, genuinely not knowing what to do.

"I think it's high time you confront her about this. About everything, really. She's getting too comfortable doing whatever the fuck she wants and that's not how a friendship works, doesn't matter how long you know a person"

You know he's right. But you also know it's gonna be a nightmare trying to bring this up to her. You don't mind confrontation, it's not something you run away from and neither does Jennie. The problem arises in the fact that Jennie is the most defensive person you know, all while under the assumption that she's 'quite understanding' (her words, not yours).

"That's what I think you should do. The rest is up to you"

He's putting responsibility back in your hands, after helping you realize what you owed yourself. You appreciate him for that more than he could imagine, but you wonder if you're ready to deal with the headache that's bound to come when you bring this up with her.

You fluff your pillow about 7 and a half times that night as you try to go to sleep, Joshua long gone before you as he breathes softly on the other side of the pillow barrier you'd erected.

You decide you won't open your eyes anymore as you lie on your right side, facing the door. That doesn't last long as images of Jennie and Soonyoung doing shots play across your mind, frame by frame all thanks to the insta stories you'd rewatched about 50 times despite not wanting to see them at all. You couldn't stop yourself.

"I'll make it up to you!"

You aren't sure how she's gonna rebound from this glorious fuck up, but you hope she does. You still hope there's a missing piece to this story.

***

You managed to pull yourself up for your 9 AM meeting, getting ready while Joshua slept. He wakes up before you leave though, force-feeding you cereal for breakfast when he found out you were about to leave for your day with an empty stomach. He hugs you goodbye at the door, knowing well enough he'll be passing out again once the door closes. You love him for sacrificing his precious z's for your sake.

The meeting goes well and you have lunch with the other T.A. before deciding it's time you go back home. You were dreading it, but it was late afternoon and you really wanted to take a nap. So you walk to the campus cafe and grab yourself a coffee. You realize you ordered two out of habit but figured Jennie would need it for whatever demons she'd be fighting post-hangover.

With that thought you questioned whether you should be confronting her at all in this state. So, for your own sake and hers, you decide you'd put it off until tomorrow. But that was as far as you were pushing it. Just because your head was clearer than it was last night doesn't mean the problems had diffused with it, this was only a deadline you were setting for yourself.

Not sure what you were expecting when you walked in through that door, incessant banging was not what you would’ve guessed to be happening at 3PM. For a wild half a minute you’re frozen in the doorway, slightly mortified that you may have walked into Jennie and Soonyoung during their activities. But as you try to tiptoe past the hallway to put your stuff in the kitchen you look over to see a disheveled Jennie slamming her fist onto your bedroom door repeatedly.

This looks like the same Jennie, a mirror of you after your endless nights at wretched house parties. The ones where you both would drink yourselves to death, only to wake up wanting to scoop your brains out. If you weren’t sure of what she’d done before this, now you definitely did.

It wasn’t an awkward walk-in, but it may have been worse as you notice your handle broken off the door, sitting on the floor.

It takes you a second to register what you’re seeing.

“Jennie? JENNIE?”

She finally looks over to the sound of your voice, visibly agitated, looking like she just rolled out of bed. You rush to put your things down on the table before entering the hall she was standing in.

“You were out? You were out this whole time?” Her face is still slightly puffy, her glasses in, and her hair looking like a rat’s nest. Her tone has a hint of accusation in it, and you feel a twinge of annoyance spring in the back of your mind as you hear it.

“Yes? Why are you banging on my door, did you break the handle?” You ask incredulously.

“Because your door was fucking locked?”, she retorts like it was the most obvious answer for destroying your door.

“So you decide to, what, bust it down?”

“I needed painkillers, you didn’t tell me you were out, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Jennie, the painkillers are in the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, where they’ve always been.” You bend down swiftly to pick up your door handle. “And besides, I don’t need to tell you I was going out, I don’t know why you’d think I would.”

“How long have you been gone?”

Her tone is making your own head hurt.

“Since last night? Why does this matter” You’re getting properly angry now, and it’s not helping that she’s acting like she was wronged for whatever reason.

“Where were you?” She asks sharply.

“Why the fuck-”

“Do not tell me you were over at Joshua’s?” She asks you, stepping back like she was in disbelief. Like she had been betrayed or something.

There was a fire raging inside you by then, your vision flexing for a second before you regained composure, quite literally holding back a punch.

“Seriously, I told you to stop hanging out with that guy, he looks at me so weird he knows I have a boyfriend” She’s speaking very loudly, and the sound is reverberating inside your head like a gong. You want to shut her up so bad.

Instead of giving in to your urge to fully swing, you opt to take a couple breaths to control your racing heart and mind. You cannot let her get into your head.

“Where were you last night, Jennie?”

Your question sounds innocent, but there’s venom laced in your tone. There was a threat looming, and you know she could feel it all of a sudden too. Her expression changes slightly, and there’s a hint of the face she had shown you when she told you the same thing last night;

“The dance studio, I told you! Choreography, comp season? My boyfriend? He’s on the dance team if you weren’t aware” She’s mocking you, trying to cover up a lie.

“Why the headache, then? And rolling out of bed at this hour?” You’re asking her simple questions, partly because those are all you can muster (other than a string of the worst profanities your 11th-grade art teacher graciously taught you). But mostly because you’re trying to give her an opening. You want her to tell you the truth before spitting it on her face by yourself.

“We drank at some bar down a couple blocks, the both of us. Yes, I have a hangover, stop asking me questions”

You’re silent for a little bit. She thinks she won.

“Jennie, do you really think I’m stupid?” It’s a quiet voice that comes out directly from your chest, it’s shaky. Is it hurt or anger? You can’t decide, maybe both.

“What, you think I’m lying?” She says, barking out a blistering, heated laugh.

For a second, you think you might have been mistaken. Her certainty was unwavering, almost testing your audacity. Even when you’re so sure of yourself, there’s still a part of you that wants to believe her, so fucking bad.

“Comp season ended last week” It’s a declarative statement, one that you can’t take away.

Her face changes again. For the first time since this fight started, Jennie looks unsure of herself.

“Comp season ended last week, Jennie” You repeat, “And last night was the end-of-season party”

You blatantly look at her up and down before adding “, if you needed your memory jogged”

Rendered speechless, you can see the gears turning in her head as she figures out what to say.

“I don’t know why you lied, to go to the same fucking party, with the same fucking people, that we both go to all the fucking time”

“Y/n-”

“No, Jennie, I’ve had enough. You’ve been blowing me off for literally fucking everything for the past fucking year or something, did you get a boyfriend and decide to let it inflate your head?”

You’re yelling, loudly.

“How do I know what else you’ve been lying to my face about? When you can spit borderline folklore out of your mouth like its fucking nothing, that’s not a flex that’s psychopathic!”

Your breathing is heavy, so heavy.

“How do you do it? Because I wanna know. How do you lie so easily? To think you’d spare me at the very least. I cared for and trusted you enough to put my heart into your hands, I let you lie to me about the stupidest things and it’s me I should be blaming because what the fuck was wrong with me? To let you, literally manipulate me like this. Every fucking day it feels like.”

There’re tears running down your face, as you scream at her.

“And don’t you dare say I’m the one overreacting, because you know about the shit you’ve been pulling. To the disrespect, to the manipulation, to every single time you’ve treated me like I was your fucking sidekick or something. I’m so beyond sick of it. I wanted you to tell me the truth right now, but you chose to continue to lie and make me feel guilty about something that’s not even my fucking fault. Because you’re weak. You need to make everyone feel inferior so you can put yourself up on that pedestal you’ve made out of other people’s dignity. And honestly, it’s a really ugly look on you”

You turn around and run your hands through your hair, rubbing the tears off your face harshly in an attempt to calm yourself.

“I put you before everything. Before my own feelings, my own comfort. Because the last thing I wanted was for you to be hurt about anything. I kneeled after every horrible thing you’d say or do because no matter how much it hurt me, I couldn’t stay mad at you. Because sisters always forgive each other. I treated you like family.”

You stop, choosing to not go further before you have a proper meltdown in the hallway, all for her to just keep looking at you, blank and silent.

Hearing the click of a door opening on the other side of the house, in the other disconnected hallway, you look behind to see a half-asleep Soonyoung walk out dazed and confused.

Of course he was here.

You look back to see Jennie with the same neutral expression, incessantly avoiding your gaze.

You don’t walk inside your room until she’s finally made eye contact, to which you realize you had thrown the purest look of disgust and disappointment.

You’d flopped onto your bed, adrenaline slow to recede as you take time to register what just happened. And when you do, to your utter shock, you felt good. It was like a weight you’d been holding on to for a lifetime was thrown across the universe, never to be felt again. You felt good, giving Jennie everything you know she was long overdue for. You don’t know what the next step is going to possibly be for both of you, if she finds it within herself to apologize - or not, you don’t really care right now.

For now, you send the group chat a very, very long voice message.

After which you took a fat nap because lashing out at lifelong friends was exhausting.

***

You barely see Jennie in the next few weeks. Occasional passes in the kitchen to which she turns around and walks right back out when she sees you there. Not a word is spoken between you, and you know she’s uncomfortable.

You, however, are completely fine. Really, you didn’t care at all, which was surprising to both you and your friends. You lived as you did; worked, read, hung out with your friends, everything as usual. The only difference was that there was less Jennie around, and despite the very gaping hole in your routine, you didn’t feel incomplete or empty.

Both Alyssa and Joshua demanded a play-by-play recap of the entire thing, the same night you had woken up from your nap to a bombarding of messages in the group chat. You’d met them that night and given them what they asked for, and they were surprised to find you fairly nonchalant.

Neither you nor your friends were too sure what these few weeks of silence meant, at least in terms of what was going on in her head. If you didn’t know better, you’d be back to normal already, because you would’ve approached her with an apology or a neutral consensus. To which you would’ve received a half-assed sorry in return, right before she went back to her usual antics. She’s waiting for you to break the silence because she still thinks this is something she can brush over. Jennie, as smart as she is, will soon realize she’s gravely mistaken and that you weren’t folding anytime soon.

“I think you should move out,” Alyssa says, poking at a piece of chicken in her overpriced rice bowl. “I would’ve had you gone the day it happened, honestly”

It wasn’t a thought you hadn’t considered, but you were giving it time to marinate.

“If there’s anyone moving out, it’s her. It’s my name on the lease, I’m not giving up that place” You grumble.

She sighs in response, glitter in her eyes as she puts her chin in both hands on the table.

“They grow up so fast. If someone told me, you’d even fathom kicking Jennie out of the apartment I would’ve sent them on their way with prayers and a hospital business card”

You snort in response, “I’ll bring it up to her the next time I see her. God knows where she is more than half the time”

“I saw her sitting with Soonyoung’s friends outside the tennis court yesterday. And she was, studying in the library the week before. Thought she hated the entire lot of his friends, it’s funny how she’s changed her mind”

You took Alyssa’s advice and had gone home to knock on Jennie’s bedroom door.

“Can we talk in the living room” You had asked plainly.

She was quiet other than a “yeah, sure” as she followed you to the couch.

“I’m gonna have to ask you to move out. I don’t think it’s best for us to be in each other’s spaces right now, and it’s my name on the lease so it’s easier on both of us if you find another apartment.” The words were coming out blunt, wanting nothing but to be over this.

She looks a little taken aback. “What?”

“You can take your time, obviously. But don’t bother paying for this month if you end up moving sooner.”

“Is that it?”

“Yeah”

“Cool”

She gets up and leaves, exhaling louder than usual in what you think may be a frustrated sigh. You move over it though; you did what you had to do.

***

When the receptionist tells you there’s someone waiting for you, you think its Joshua picking you up from your T.A. job to go pick up lunch. You wonder why he didn’t just text you, but you grab your purse and leave nonetheless, excited for a break. What you don’t expect is, no waiting Joshua but a Kwon Soonyoung who’s waving you down as he sees you come out.

“Hey”

“Hi” you reply awkwardly, waiting for an explanation for the visit.

“I know this is really random but, can we talk? It’s about Jennie”

So here you are, at a cafe close to your department, sitting across from Soonyoung who’s beginning to give you context.

“I heard a lot of what happened that day you guys fought, it sounded pretty serious and I didn’t mean to walk in on you guys like that but I was so hungover I wasn’t thinking straight” He looks like he’s cringing at the memory, playing with the rings on his finger. You count a plethora of earrings adorning his ears too, never noticing how many piercings he had before this.

“She reassured me it was a common occurrence you both would be fine in the morning - a couple days max.” He glances up at you before stirring his drink with his straw, “That didn’t happen, obviously. She won’t tell me the entirety of the problem but I know that whatever it is, it’s pretty big.”

He’s silent for a moment while he tries to formulate his next words, he’s being careful about what he says.

“She told me that you asked her to move out, which I get, totally. But she was pretty upset because she thought you were going to apologize”

You pause mid-sip before looking up at him, “She thought what?”

“That- you were going to apologize. Listen, I don’t know what happened, I don’t know who’s in the wrong it could be the both of you or it could be neither, but that isn’t the point. All I’m here to ask you is to please try to talk to her. She’s refusing to listen to me and she won’t tell me what going on either. Her mood is all over the place, it’s affecting the people around her. She doesn’t know how to deal with the situation other than responding to everything with abrasion, and I think that’s only going to stop if whatever’s going on between you is solved”

He finishes with a sigh. You take a good look at him and conclude that he’s probably tired of his girlfriend’s antics and is desperate for a way to help himself. He probably feels a little guilty too, like he’s trying to change her

You weigh your options within 10 seconds; should you tell him or not? There’s a snitch inside of you that’s aching to ruin whatever relationship Jennie had with the man in front of you because, in a way, that very relationship was what lead to the downfall of your friendship. You’re quick to slap that thought away, this was all Jennie’s fault, not his. Unless he was feeding her with lies too, you found no reason to hold any grudges against this man. A cruel part of you quips that he may be a poor, tortured soul too, forced into her clutches. You don’t doubt that she may be lying to him about multiple things too, but you can’t assume.

Regardless, seeing Soonyoung this tame? Calm? Not surrounded by people? Was a little strange for you. He was quite the campus socialite, what you would describe as fuckboy behaviour, except he was in a committed relationship and generally quite respectful from what you’ve seen. It might be because you’ve mainly only ever seen him under alcoholic influence that’s made this image of a loud, party animal in your head. He was friendly enough, there was no reason for people to not wanna be his friend.

Deciding to not be a menace, you don’t tell him the details about what happened. Never trusting Jennie’s storytelling skills, you can’t be sure what she’s told him or will tell him in the future, and you want to know what timeline she lays out for all of this. It wouldn’t be long, while you were picky with what people you told your problems about, Jennie was an open book.

“Soonyoung, listen. I’ve known Jennie almost my entire life, and every conversation I’ve had with her takes us nowhere but back to square one. You can do the math on that, but I think, after so long, it’s fair for me to feel tired of being the person taking the initiative all the time. I understand how you feel because I know Jennie, but I’m sorry, I won’t be the one bringing up this conversation with her”

His shoulders slump a little, his expression slightly defeated.

“It’s that bad?” He asks quietly, voice strained.

You nod slightly, grimacing.

“Not that I think you’re gonna tell me, but, what did happen between you two? I just heard the screaming bits, but they didn’t really give anything away.” Before you can reply he’s quick to add, “I don’t want you to think I’m asking because I want tea or whatever, I just, want context so I can maybe help her”

You feel bad for him, because he genuinely sounds so helpless, and you consider maybe telling him. Before you can backtrack, he’s looking up at you with swimming eyes. You’re heart stops for a second, watching him as you realize he’s unraveling, just like you were not too long ago. And for seemingly the same reasons too. There’s a tug in your heart as you realize you pity him, and he’s probably sick of being left in the dark and yet having to deal with the unsolicited side effects.

And that’s when you do another thing in the past month that is so unlike yourself, you told Soonyoung everything.

The conversation had gone fine, he listened to you as you spoke, telling him about context and conversations that ultimately lead to your fallout.

He had reassured you he had no idea about how his presence was indirectly affecting your friendship, and you were solid to voice that he had nothing to worry about if he hadn’t done anything to purposefully pull her away.

Everything he said, you took with a grain of salt. He was still Jennie’s boyfriend and could be convincing himself that you’re lying for all you know. There was no blame coming onto him for being on his girlfriend’s side. An instinctual, observant part of you was telling you that he didn’t think you were entirely wrong.

You weren’t worried though, Jennie could tell him whatever she wanted, but you already told your truth. No matter who he chose to believe, he’d figure out what the problems were eventually. Just like you did.

Soonyoung had insisted to pay for your coffee in return for taking up your time and allowing you both to leave not too long after wrapping up your brief feelings about the situation.

You don’t think too much of his limited response, it’s a lot to dump on him about his girlfriend, from her supposed best friend. But once again, you’re beyond the point of caring anymore.

***

“Nice, nice!” You hear Seungkwan yell as you send the ball back over to his side. Never really interested in the sport, you had allowed him to rope you in for a first experience on the volleyball court.

“To blow off some steam,” he said.

He was informed about the fight you and Jennie had, not that he knew the details, nor did he pry too much. Noting that you were becoming slightly more agitated as the days passed, he decided to force you, Alyssa, and Joshua, to the court to help you sweat some of the frustration off.

Joshua and Seungkwan were fine, better than fine seeing as they were both actually on the university’s team. You and Alyssa got by, learning the ropes as you go and trying not to break a finger or a nail. Or a nose, for that matter, considering the velocity of some of the serves Seungkwan was sending to your side of the court.

“Pretend your Miya Atsumu or something, just slam as hard as you can”

You were trying, but you don’t think he fully understood that you could be pooped only 40 minutes in.

“Look at you, Y/n, skin glowing, hair flowing. I told you this would be good for you”

That glow was sweat, and that flow was more so a euphemism for the bird’s nest that had become of your hair, looking overall disheveled and doubled over, trying to catch your breath.

You snap your head up to give Seungkwan a look of disbelief across the court, prompting all three of them to laugh at the irony.

But you had to admit, the past month and a half’s worth of slight irritants were slowly getting to you, and you needed some good physical activity and quality time to get back on track. Jennie still hadn’t moved out, telling you she needed more time to look for apartments. There was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that told you she hadn’t looked for anything at all.

You didn’t see Soonyoung after that day at the cafe a few days ago, not expecting to hear so soon from him either.

What you also weren’t expecting was Jennie to barge into the volleyball court, stomping her way over to you.

It takes a moment for you to react, seeing her come at you with such belligerence, heck just the fact this was her most intense interaction within a month and a half was a little more than just offputting.

“You”

She’s talking to me?

Jennie confirms that yes, you, meant you in specific as she bring an angry finger pointed at you in accusation, as she slams her feet across the court to where you are.

You realize too late that her other raised arm was in an effort to land on you too, physically this time.

You’re lucky you have friends with less dusty processing chips when you see Alyssa grab her arm to stop her from doing something rash. You still haven’t moved a muscle.

Jennie shoves Alyssa off, gaze never leaving yours.

“You’ve got balls coming for me when you’ve been prancing around arm in arm with my boyfriend?”

“What are you-”

“My turn to say, ‘did you think I wasn’t gonna find out?’”, she says, smiling in mock pleasantness. “Little birdie told me you’ve been meeting up with him for weeks behind my back. Fucking him? Touching him? What belongs to me? And he fessed up to all of it so don’t even try acting all innocent you swine-”

“Jennie, that’s enough” Joshua’s voice comes from behind.

Your start talking before she can retort him with another ghastly insult.

“Nice to know you’re believing whatever comes out of anyone’s mouth just to victimize yourself, again”

She might as well have slapped you with the look she gives you.

“Believe whatever you want Jennie, I spoke to Soonyoung once during this entire thing and it was the bleakest conversation I’ve ever had”

“Care to explain the pictures I have of you both going on fucking coffee dates?” She’s borderline screeching in your ear at this point.

You can’t tell if she’s bluffing.

“Back to that one conversation I had with him. Lasted maybe 20 minutes over a coffee neither of us finished. So if your done deluding yourself into thinking the world has it in for you because your just that precious, wake the fuck up. You’re not special, nobody’s trying to steal your man, fucking keep him”

Your voice is quiet and calm, but there’s an edge you willingly bring into your words. You want her gone for real now.

She huffs again before stalking back out, and into the arms of another girl, Minji, you recognize from the pictures. This girl you’ve never spoken to before turns around to throw you the nastiest glare before ushering both of them out.

The aftermath of that included another serve session where you actually did slam the balls as hard as you could, Seungkwan was right, you did still have some unguided juice left.

Speaking of Seungkwan, you spared the poor boy’s confusion by finally giving him the details he’d been holding back from asking. His reactions lightened your mood though, the comments and the expressions. You guessed this was you trusting him now.

That was 5 people who knew about the fiasco, Minji too by the looks of it, so make that 6. More, if Jennie had decided to tell more people.

But what was on your mind, as you yourself was about to make a stalking entrance into another venue, was whatever the fuck Soonyoung told Jennie for it to have a repercussion like this.

You were angry at yourself for telling him everything, thinking that it was what had caused another problem to arise.

When you walk past the empty floor of the dance studios to open any one that wasn’t locked, you were lucky to find Soonyoung alone in one of them, dancing to some low tone rap blaring from the speakers. He notices you immediately, moving to stop the music and acknowledge your presence.

“What did you tell Jennie?” You ask him clearly.

“Could ask you the same thing” His face is stoic, he’s not very happy at all you notice.

“What?”

“Meeting at your place when she’s not there? Seriously, Y/n? Why are you roping me into your bullshit, when did I ever hang out with you alone before last week?!”

“Are you saying I told Jennie that?”

“Apparently! Because she broke up with me thinking I’ve been cheating on her this entire time. With you!” He announces loudly.

You realize what’s happening immediately, Jennie was trying to fix the mess she’d put herself in. By lying.

“Really? Because she’s told me that you admitted to meeting me all the time too.” You deadpan, hoping he’d realize you’d both been lied to.

“I never said that” he says, face contorted to incredulousness.

“That’s what I was told, though”

“You two best friends are the same, this entire fucking time I’ve been around you it’s been misery and problems and bullshit I’ve never asked for” He bellows, turning around, massaging his temples like he has a headache.

“You think I actually said that? Are you not seeing the problem here? We’ve both been lied to, Soonyoung” You move closer to him, like the proximity would help him absorb the point that’s flying way over his head in the midst of his anger.

“Oh please, cut the shit, I’ve had it! You both have a manipulating problem you need to fix. You’re not special, wake up.” He’s screaming in your face now, a raging monologue ripping.

Those three words, the same ones you said to Jennie not even an hour ago, were spat back at your own face. And with what it entailed for you, you acted before you could think.

The slap you sent across Kwon Soonyoung’s face sent a reverberating sound across the dance studio.

He looks up, eyes bloodshot and swimming with fury. There’s a hint of a smile on his face for some reason, which you realize may be out of disbelief.

You don’t register anything else other than the rage that accelerates down your own veins. There’s a part of you that wants to do it again when he utters his next words.

“That was a bad fucking idea”

“Was it? I could tell you the same thing. You’re stupid enough to be manipulated again by the same manipulator you just left behind, that’s pathetic Soonyoung”

It’s beyond you why you’re having to explain all if this to him like a child.

“Was anything I told you that day make its way into your head? At all? The reason this entire situation with her and I even happened was because of Jennie and her lies. The way she twists the truth and pits people against each other for the sake of looking like the innocent one. Get that through your thick skull before you start throwing accusations around. If we both can understand that she lied about what you said, what makes you think anything else that she said was true?”

There’s a heavy feeling in the glares you’re sending each other. Neither of you are okay, both of you betrayed. He’s breathing heavily but his face is less contorted. He’s evaluating. He’s finding reason in your words.

You back down from this emotional staring contest first, tired of being angry about something regarding Jennie - again.

“I’m sorry about hitting you like that, you just- you said something else that kinda triggered me, but I shouldn’t have reacted that way”

“It’s whatever I guess” He grumbled in response.

“I hope you’ll think about what I’ve said. We’re both pretty upset right now, I think we need to give it some time” You were taking a leaf out Joshua’s book and giving yourselves time to diffuse.

“Yeah, okay that’s fine”

And with that you turn around to leave him standing in the middle of the empty studio, with another plethora of thoughts at his front door.

***

The next time you see Soonyoung is when you invite him over to your place for the first time, knowing the connotations that could bring with recent progressions. But it needed to be done. As much as you would’ve rather spoken from a distance that’s brought with public seating, it was another risk of another angry barge in. You both had had enough of those.

Besides, Jennie was quick to move out after the last altercation, realizing finally that you weren’t about to back down to any moves she tries to make. No word from her since. It felt like eternal peace at last.

As much as you wished you could leave everything that happened between you and Soonyoung behind, there was too much sensitive content that was aired for it to rendered resolved from that last angry face off in the studio. So you decided the safety of your home was the best bet you had for privacy to do what needed to be done.

You also decided dinner wouldn’t hurt, you made a mean pesto salad, everybody likes pesto. And pasta for that matter. The kimchi fried rice along with it would be a weird combo but you decided to throw it on the table anyway, everybody likes rice too.

You were briefly wondering if this was okay for a dancer to eat, you’d heard about carbs being problematic for high tension sport or whatever - was dance a sport? It has to be with the amount these people have to move-

You're cut off by the sharp sound of your front door ringing. No going back now, you opened the door to let Soonyoung in.

“Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No, no, I’m okay, thanks” he says as he seats himself on the couch.

The silence is awkward as it fills the rooms, neither of you knowing how to approach the topic without sounding too head on.

You brought him here, so you decide to break the ice first.

“What’re you’re thoughts about, that, now?” You start meekly, trying to make it sound as less abrasive as you can.

“I mean, I had time to think about it, obviously. And I had to really sit back and rethink our entire relationship and I’m a little put off by how I didn’t figure out what was happening myself. There were, so many signs, so many red flags.”

He’s rubbing his face with his hands,you notice a little silver ring on his pinky finger. “None of my friends liked her, I don’t know if you knew. They wouldn’t mention anything about it in front of you ever, for obvious reasons”

You recall Joshua telling you the same thing, the night before the big fight.

“I couldn’t understand why they were so hostile towards her but- but I see it now. I know love can be blinding sometimes but, this really was another level” He lets out a sad laugh.

“But yeah, another one of my friends told me Jennie’s been going around telling people variations of the same cheating story to everyone. None of them are matching the other, I doubt she even remembers what she’s said or who she’s said it to”

He looks up at you when he says that, in acknowledgment of what you’ve been trying to tell him this entire time.

“But after everything that’s happened, I think I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for lashing out at you when the truth was right there. That slap was deserved.” He smiles a little at the end.

“It’s alright, but I totally got why you’d believe Jennie though. She’s - was - your girlfriend, her words are bound to be more credible than mine. I just didn’t think it’d go this far. And please don’t say what I did was deserved, we’re not animals I don’t know why I let my frustrations out that way.” You were speaking the truth, under the hope that he too was also not lying to you.

“I don’t think this’ll be the end of it though. I doubt she’s going to stop lying to everyone about what happened anytime soon. If this keeps up…” He trails off a little.

His reputation was a lot more prominent than yours, and everything that was supporting it may be going into flames right in front of him.

“I’m scared her crap is gonna reach management or something and that’s when it gets even more problematic. Stuff like this always snowballs and…” He’s trailing off again.

“It’s okay, nothing’s coming out from this space” you attempt to reassure him.

He chews on his lip for a minute, elbows on knees, “I know from experiences lesser than this that have roped me into trouble, whether I was at fault or not, that it’s going to affect me somehow. This is a lot bigger, and knowing that this is going to escalate as more people talk, I’m scared I’m gonna get a call”

“Like, they’re not gonna kick you out of the dance team for some rumor, right?”

His hat is off as he runs a hand through his dark locks, “They could, we compete at a professional level. And rep counts. I’m pretty involved with the team with kind of everything, that can’t look good if I’m an apparent asshole”

There’s a very defeated look on his face, a prospect of his entire future possibly falling apart. You realize how deep this goes for him, and how this might affect for years to come. All for a rumor somebody he trusted made about him to save their own ass.

Considering your positions, you may be the only person who can understand his predicament.

“And if they try to push me about something, they might bother you too. You have a T.A job, right?”

You hadn’t even thought about your own job, you were quite dependent on it and with an entire apartment’s worth of rent now heavy on your pockets, you couldn’t afford to lose this job.

Your head was racing with that realization, but you could only manage a small “Oh”.

“What do you think we should do?” you ask dumbly, not having any ideas of your own. This was going beyond what you wanted to happen, this was supposed to end at two people.

“I have no idea” He’s agitated, you can tell because he’s been moving and shifting so much. He’s throwing his head right now, eyes closed, heel tapping on the floor. He reigns himself back in and opens his eyes, reluctantly it feels like.

“Our best bet right now is to trust that people won’t listen to her, majority of our friends dislike her, but I can’t be sure other people feel the same. I have hope that our friends will exercise common sense, and irrational dislike I guess, and not take her word for things”

“No, you’re right. Other people are gonna believe her in a heartbeat I’ve seen how people are when it comes to her” You’re picking at the skin of your palms as you speak, mind trailing to the plethora of people who would try to get to Jennie through you.

“Maybe get to them first. Maybe not management but, people on the team who could vouch for you if need be. But I don’t think you need to do that for them to believe you, people only have nice things to say about you, and with the general off-ness around Jennie I do think they’ll believe you” You voice your thoughts, dry mouthed but trying to sound supportive.

“I mean, I hope it doesn’t get to that point. It really shouldn’t, anyway.” You quip once more.

He’s listening to you, nodding his head but his expression tells you that he’s far away. The last thing you want is for him to start spiraling so you suggest the first possible solution that pops in your head.

“Do you want a drink?”

Some would say that was a bad idea, considering his very popular tendency for not being able to hold his liquor. But you had your reasons and it paid off after a couple wines.

It was a weird spread on the table, leftover fried rice and a pesto salad you’d made earlier, add to the cheap supermarket wine you were drinking in water glasses, you look like you were in some relatable Netflix show.

Whatever the predicament was, you weren’t complaining because you’d both had your nerves calmed and stomachs fed. The conversation following was light and friendlier than any conversation you remember ever having with him. He spoke in more detail about his dance stuff, how comp season came back with a win for them, how his teammates are his best friends.

He tended to start talking like a child when he was tipsy, to be fair that could just be the passion coming out in that way, but it was endearing regardless.

He asked about your T.A. job and realized he might have you for next semester, “if I remember my semester plan right”.

“That’s great! You can help me; I suck at stuff like that” he grumbled as you reassured him he’d be in safe hands with the professor alone. You were just extra help.

“Oh, I did that module in my first year!” you exclaim, as he spoke about another horrible midterm that was coming up for him. “I could help you with it if you want. Pretty sure I have my notes stashed somewhere”

“Did you have Professor Choi, too?”

“Yes! I did. You need to read the textbook more than the lecture slides when it comes to her, her tests are impossible without it”

“No wonder, that earlier test was talking about shit I’d never seen before”

You had gone to bed that night feeling so much lighter regarding the whole matter. It felt good to have Soonyoung who was willing to be on your side for this. Of course, your friends would always be with you and they still were, but having someone who’s going through the same thing as you sets it apart. You go to sleep that night feeling grateful for whatever help the universe was giving you.

***

Something in the air had shifted that night and you found yourself in Soonyoung’s company more than you had initially planned. You were sitting at a barbecue place with your friends, Soonyoung was there too.

He’s had a little too much to drink, again, as he leans on Mingyu’s chest after crying his heart out to some song that ignited a sentimental fire in him. It’s all good not even five minutes later as he’s back to standing on his chair to make a toast to every last person on the table.

“Seungkwan!” he’s tearing up a little now, “I fucking love you, man”

Sengkwan’s trying to humor him, a little grimace on his face at his obvious wasted state. He’s joking though. Mostly.

“I wanna be your ball boy for life, throw all the fucking balls you want at me I’ll pick all of them up for you. I want you to judge all my choreos for the rest of my life. I don’t got a girl to do that for me anymore” Everybody on the table erupts into laughter, Soonyoung included. They were all well informed on Jennie’s antics at this point and had enough choice words dedicated in her memory.

“Joshi!”

“Hoshi!” Joshua exclaims back.

“I’d date you if I was a girl, but I’m not, and that sucks, but it’s fine, I’m more than happy to be your friend”

Mingyu’s tugging him to sit down at this point, his voice getting noticeably louder by the second. He throws his head back as he swallows the shot in hand in honor of Joshua, and you take sip of your own drink.

“Y/n!” He screams when he’s done. You can’t imagine what he could possibly have to say about you.

“Life fucking sucks” He deadpans, and you can’t help but quip.

“Hear, hear!”

Another eruption of chortles from the group.

“But you handle it beautifully, which is something you've taught me better than anyone. I’d let you slap me again if I was being a dumb bitch, if only you’d let me be a sassy asshole in return”

He’s making no sense, no doubt muddled in his thoughts. Everybody drinks to that regardless, and you watch as he throws his own head back only to sputter violently as he comes round.

Mingyu had replaced his shot with water.

***

Alyssa had crashed at your place that night and said multiple things you would like to owe to her drunken stupor.

One particular instance was when she was trying to glue back the lamp she’d bumped into and shattered. It was futile, but she was wasted enough to convince herself it was as easy to fix as impromptu Tetris.

You let her be, opting to stare at the ceiling lying next to her on the floor.

“Do you think you could date Soonyoung” she mumbles, fiddling with a piece of plastic.

You were only slightly tipsy, but your reaction was still quite lukewarm considering the outburst you’d have had if she said it on any other day.

“It’s kinda complicated isn’t it. Imagine we do and everyone goes, ‘oh, we knew it they were in it for each other all along’” you’re waving your hands in the air as you say it, giggling at your own impersonation. “It’s not happening though. Man obviously has a type and I’m no Jennie”

“You did not just insinuate Jennie was prettier than you” Alyssa has her violent, confused and outraged expression on as she drops the pieces in her hand for dramatic effect.

“I mean she definitely carries herself better, charm is important” you say.

“Honey, please, anyone with a personality like that is immediately classified ugly as fuck” She retorts, her face contorting into more outrageous expressions she’d never be able to pull sober.

“Whatever, that’s not the point. I don’t like the guy anyway, can you imagine trying to handle all that after every drunk night?”

She ponders for a minute before adding slightly, “But he’s… he’s cute though. Hamster type”

You shift to face her directly and ask her the inevitable question, “Alyssa, do you like Soonyoung?”

“NO! Geez no, you may be ballsy enough to get on Jennie’s nasty side but I’m not, I’m not coming near her pieces. Besides, that cutie from my cultural psych class is onto me, I can feel it. His name’s Jeonghan, I might slip him my insta if he doesn’t do it within the next week” She’s smiling and tilting her head as she speaks about the boy from her class.

“Find me a couple cute ones too. Can’t be spending the rest of my life alone, can I?” You blow out, a little annoyed at your lack of action.

“Oh, you’ll be fine. Although, you should think about Soonyoung a little bit, keep the option open.” She notes the way your face changes, “I mean keep him last resort too, I guess, I don’t know, you’d be cute together”

“I’m not gonna go and date my best-” you stop yourself before you can refer to Jennie as your best friend,”- just no, it’s going to be weird I don’t wanna be known as someone who steals other people’s bitches”

“But you’re not stealing him? You never did. You barely spoke to him while he was dating that woman and you’re both more than detached from her now. Do whatever the fuck you want, you’re adults. Besides, people know about what happened, they’re on both your sides more than ever”

You think about what she says, she’s right, but that doesn’t matter in the end. Because you didn’t like Soonyoung like that. No point justifying a relationship that’s never going to happen.

You’re distracted from your pondering as the (incorrectly) glued masterpiece Alyssa was trying to build back falls apart once more, like it did not even an hour ago.

***

Squeaky shoes against the floors are still audible despite the roaring coming from the speaker. The last time you were in here, you’d left only after leaving a reasonably red handprint on the cheek of the person dancing in front of you.

You were dragged here by Seungkwan, claiming he didn’t want to sit though hours of choreography rectification with Soonyoung alone. Nothing better to do, you chose to grace yourself out of your rat hole and accompany him.

You had learned the dance by now.

Turn, hand out, drop down and twist the torso…

He’s monitoring himself in the mirror with an intensity that’s intimidating you even while seated away from his line of sight. Right in front of the mirrors with Seungkwan but his attention only moves when he’s done with the set.

“How about now?” He pants out between gulps of air as he pauses the music.

“The music’s really pang pang you know, but like, you’re general movement is too much like” Seungkwan’s trying to explain his vision but is losing his words.

“It’s a little too flowy for the music” you say, chin in hand trying to absorb what he’s trying to say.

He claps his hands and points, “Flowy, that’s what”

“There’s a lot of dramatic moves, maybe that’s why it feels that way? Tone down the drops and turns, maybe?” You add, trying to be more helpful than just throwing out a criticism.

He’s making familiar movements in the mirror listening to your words.

“Yeah, that makes sense” He responds, “How’s this instead of this drop in the beginning?”

He asks and Seungkwan gets up to help with some movements of his own.

You watch them from your position on the floor, giggling at failed attempts and ‘woah’’s emitted from mildly impressive suggestions. Seungkwan pretends to be annoyed at these sessions but his effort to help is proving him otherwise.

Hoshi’s wearing something outside of his trendy jeans and shoes as he opts for the sweats and zip up look. He needs to be comfortable you guess, but there’s a part of you that wants to ask him where he got his pants from. They look good on him.

After a couple hours, another group of people from the team walk in for their allocated time with the studio so all three of you are forced out of your creative stride.

“They should get more studios I hate overenthusiastic juniors who do nothing but fool around for 3 hours” Soonyoung is mumbling in protest as you walk to the nearest convenience store for an odd time snack.

“Shouldn't somebody moderate them, then? Coach, captain, whoever” You ask as you rummage around the old freezer to find the ice cream you’re looking for.

“That’s not fair on the other juniors then, is it? They all work hard, there’s just a couple who think they’re on a constant field trip” He huffs, swatting your hand away and burrows for whatever it is that you can’t find. He comes up with a crushed pack, left desolate at the bottom of the freezer.

“No, it has nuts in it” you complain, “That was at the bottom too, shit’s prolly been in there since the ice age”

He huffs before trudging to find someone who could help with your ice cream predicament.

Seungkwan pops up behind you, arms full of instant ramen and sausages, as he starts rummaging through the freezer as well. He drops one of his sausage packets into the mango lollies and lets out a cry.

“They’re not here, Soonyoung went to ask” you say as he picks up a basket from behind him and dumps his load into it.

“These people have crutches and walking sticks at the ready but can’t ever stock up on their ice cream. It’s a university campus for the love of God, what student’s looking for crutches at midnight!?” He complains loudly.

Soonyoung is back from his heist at this point and brings the tragic news that they’re out of what you’re looking for. Both of you let out a solemn sound of disappointment and you opt for the creamsicle sitting on top of the pile instead. It’ll have to do.

You’re done with your ice cream before you dig into the bowl of ramen Seungkwan had very nicely made for you. You were getting princess treatment from everyone today, having the both of them run around as your personal errand boys. That doesn’t last for too long when Seungkwan barks at you to go get him a soda. You can’t complain when he mumbles about all the stuff he’s done for you.

The weather was nice outside, slightly cool but enough for you to enjoy your cheap thrills on the plastic set up outside the store. By the time you come back out, Seungkwan’s informing you that Alyssa and Joshua were coming here too, to which you set his coke down only to run back inside and get them stuff they’d like.

Alyssa is sniffling and wet faced as she sets herself next to you. You don’t notice until you see Joshua’s cautious eyes widening, trying to get you to acknowledge her sorrows.

You’re setting your feet down from their folded position once you do actually see the tear stains.

“What the fuck happened? Are you okay?”

“I slipped Jeonghan my IG today…” She starts before taking a shaky breath.

Your stomach plummets in dread for what she might say next.

“He gave it back to me”

There it is.

“What do you mean he gave it back? Are you sure he didn’t think you dropped it?” You try to salvage the situation,

“NO!” She yells finally, tears now actively streaming down her face, “He read it. He read the fucking chit and gave it back to me like it was a piece of trash”

“That can’t be right, he likes you!” Soonyoung surprisingly adds. How did he know that?

“How do you know?” She says, “You sit like 4 rows ahead, how would you know?”

They were in the same class?

“Because I overheard him talking to his friends. I swear I did; he was talking about wanting to ask you out” He insists, he’s even dropped his chopsticks.

“Why would he give the note back then?” She asks, her voice suddenly small.

“How exactly did you give him the note?” Seungkwan asks.

“I crumpled it and kind of dropped it in his general area…?” She states cautiously.

You groan internally.

“Crumpled it? Seriously? Of course he was going to think it was trash who crumples it and then throws it on the floor?” You exasperate, not understanding how she thought it was a good idea.

“BUT-but, it’s embarrassing if I just hand him a note.” She grumbles at your outburst.

“Babe, you want him or nah?” Seungkwan deadpans, looking done with the whole situation.

“Yes? If it wasn’t obvious already-”

“You don’t want him bad enough” He declares and proceeds to shove the ice cream filled plastic spoon into his mouth, like it was nothing.

Alyssa stands up in an emotional rage, “What the fuck does that mean? I’m literally having an emotional meltdown over this guy and you’re telling me I don’t want him bad enough?”

The situation is honestly a little comical, with Alyssa’s tear stained, incredulous face as opposed to Seungkwan’s apparent nonchalance. You’re biting back a snort, but keep it in for your best friend’s sake. You’re understanding Seungkwan’s strategy, and you know it’s bound to work.

“Prove it then. Go up to him and tell him next week, after class. If you can, obviously, unless you’re too embarrassed”

“Fine!” She exclaims, “I’ll ask him out next Monday, and you owe me dinner if I do”

Seungkwan, sits up straight to put his hand on his heart in a solemn oath, “I, Boo Seungkwan, swear to you that I will buy you dinner if you can ask Jeonghan from your class out on a date”

“Your heart’s on the other side, dumbass” It’s Hoshi that quips that sentence to which Seungkwan proceeds to project his empty ice cream cup at him, only for it to land in his unfinished ramen.

***

“Do I mention skewness?” Hoshi asks you, looking up from his laptop and notes.

“Um, did you take out a z score?”

“Yeah, I did but does it apply here?”

“Can I see the sheet again?”

You’re sitting in the library helping Soonyoung with his coursework like you promised, piles of sheets and strewn pens decorate the table in the library as you help him do his work while you finished up some stuff of your own.

He had a final report due in 4 hours, not realizing it existed until this morning when one of his classmates texted him asking for help.

The frenzy he had called you in was enough to have you snapped back to attention from your deep sleep. The clock read 8 AM and you could’ve punched him through the phone as you registered his impeccable timing. But alas, you brushed your teeth and threw on your rattiest hoodie before trudging down to campus to help your damsel in distress.

It was only an introductory class, which may have been his saving grace. It was easy enough after an hour of explaining. You stayed after the fact, the anxiety he’s imbedded this morning had stuck with you, and you doubt you’d be calm until he actually makes his submission.

You’re catching up on notes as he types away, occasionally asking you a stray question to which you oblige.

This was a new feeling for you, not getting annoyed when somebody interrupts your focus. Every question he asked was met with you setting your devices aside and pulling in his own. You were helping him with more diligence than you’d do your own work.

You put it down to finally having someone who actually wanted to do work and not because they were spending time with you as an ulterior motive. Your timings would never match with Alyssa or Joshua or any of your friends too often, clashes were a story known all too well. Maybe it was the idea that Soonyoung was trusting you so much to help him for an ill choiced elective. You’d ponder over your lapse in usual behavior another time, you needed to figure out what to do with Soonyoung’s outliers first.

Soonyoung had walked out of that library and promptly fell to his knees at the end of the steps, arms in the air as he cried out in triumph.

“Oh, OXYGEN!”

You’re slower to clamber down the winding steps, snorting at his proclamation.

“I’m never doing that again” he huffs out, still looking relieved at the stars in the sky.

You pull him up from the sidewalk before he continues to embarrass the both of you; “Come on, you scholar, let’s get some food in your system.

He’s quick to jog up to you at the mention of food, having been running on coffee and adrenaline all day.

“And we’ll just have water with that” You confirm to the waitress, you both have enough caffeine in your system, and you don’t want to find out what happens when you add alcohol to the mix.

Soonyoung’s gone stagnant after the initial rush of freedom as he spaces out while you order. His face is enough indication of his exhaustion, shoulders slouched as he looks two seconds away from being slumped over on the greasy table. You want to run your hands through his hair, maybe let him get 20 minutes of shut eye as you wait for your food.

You’re not sure where you were in your train of thought as you realize there’s been a grave interference in your usual behavior; the second one you’ve realized today. You’re not sure why you could feel his head on your shoulder so vividly or feel his hair between your fingers like they were already planted there, threading through them, relaxing his scalp.

The sound of your drinks and plates being placed in front of snaps both you and Soonyoung out of your daze, a little embarrassed as you mumble out a “Thank you”

“If you’re going to talk to me, please make it utter garbage, I don’t wanna hear a single logical thing for at least a week” He announces before rubbing his face in his hands.

“Sleepy, huh?”

“After all that coffee? Fuck, no” He states, “I’m just mentally exhausted. I don’t like using my head too much”

You snort into your water as he says it; his face wasn’t helping, still looking utterly done with life.

“Where’s the goddamn food I’m hungry” He sticks a single chopstick into the pickled radish before solemnly sticking it into his mouth.

“You survived 6 hours; you can do with another couple minutes”

“What did I say about logic”

“Sorry” You laugh out as you watch the eyes roll to the back of his head.

Your eye catches the bottles of condiments on the end of the table next to the napkins and brochures.

“Were you shocked when you found out ketchup’s made with vinegar?”

“Ketchup’s made with vinegar?”

“Yeah, apparently”

“That’s icky” He concludes, brows still furrowed in disdain.

“Did you know there’s no blood in blood oranges?” He deadpans and you almost bust a blood vessel trying not to laugh. It was a horrible joke, if you could even classify it as one, but his delivery did it for you. Blank face, serious tone, disheveled aura.

You conclude that you’re both beyond exhausted and subsequently thank the universe for the food that finally rolls out on your table. It doesn’t take you long to wipe all your plates clean, minimal words being spoken as you work towards your goal of chewing and swallowing.

You leave the slowly crowding restaurant right before peak hours, suggesting a walk next to the river to clear your minds even further.

You know you should go home by now, but you don’t want the night to end. Besides, Soonyoung was quick to agree, wanting to walk off the overeating.

“I’m not sure how distasteful it is for me to bring this up, especially right after dinner” Soonyoung starts. He’s looking straight ahead as he walks next to you, expression casual. “But the more I hang out with you, the more I realize how you’re nothing like Jennie”

You knew that, but you want him to elaborate, “What makes you say that?”

“Like, personality wise. It’s hard to believe you were such good friends for so long despite being so different”

You’re nodding your head as you listen to him talk. A strange feeling of melancholy settles in your chest, and it weighs heavy on your heart.

“I guess, it’s different when you’ve known someone for so long” You respond to his observation. “Think of your own sister. I bet you wanna bury her 6 feet deep sometimes, she’s probably fucked up more times than you could possibly recount”

You’ve led him to sit on a bench overlooking the river, the streetlights’ reflection casting a glow on the water making it look less insidious.

“But…no matter how bad she fucks up. Your sister is you sister.”

“You really loved her, didn’t you?” He asks you the obvious question, but one that makes you wonder why it pierced you the way it did. He looks over to you, slumped down on the bench so he matches your height while sitting.

“I did. A lot. So did she. It’s just that I just cherished her more than she did me” You sigh, a grimace forming on your face as you voice the thoughts you’ve been keeping to yourself for what seems like your entire life. “I thought it was me being a good friend, but…”

“Recipe for disaster?” He suggests.

“Yeah” You breathe.

“As with any sort of relationship” He adds, he’s still looking at you.

“You know, one of the reasons I felt so betrayed was because I felt used. But when I think about how I clung to her despite everything, it makes me think whether I was using her too. That she was just as much of an instrument to me as I was to her”

“That’s not fair” Soonyoungs voice cuts quick, covered in ice. His face is a mask of apprehension. “That’s not fair to you at all”

“No, it makes me a bit of a hypocrite” The prospect pulls out a laugh from you, a miserable one from a dark part of your soul.

He’s silent for a moment and you watch his face morph into at least five versions of deep thought. His brows are furrowed, nose slightly scrunched, downturned mouth into a suggestion of a pout.

Despite the heaviness in your heart, there’s another warm feeling blooming in your chest as you note how hard he’s working his head to make you feel better about yourself. He could’ve left it with a regular word of comfort, especially after exhausting his cognitive abilities on statistics for the day.

Despite the conflict your own words have brought you, you can’t help but smile at the sight of him. For the second time that day you want to run your fingers through his hair, ease the crease in his brows. Make a joke about how he needs to rest after a day of academic weightlifting.

He speaks before you can pull his hood up to protect his pink ears from the cold.

“Finding solace in friendship isn’t using them, that’s kinda the point, is it not? To expect them to be there for you and have a place in their heart for you. The turnaround is to expect the same back. The problem was how Jennie was giving us the bare minimum, and our mistake was letting her do that. I don’t see any possible reason you could have major fault in this.”

He sits up straight and brings a leg up to rest on the bench, now fully turned to face you.

“Besides, you clinging to her for so long despite everything isn’t something you should beat yourself up about too much. Jennie was probably one of the only constant things in your life, if it was this hard to let go after only knowing her for, like, a year and a half, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must’ve been for you. To let go of that one constant line that’s been with you through everything”

Soonyoung’s words are a breakthrough into the cage of remaining regrets you’d locked away. You were pretending to be okay for so long, and it was in this moment that you realized how not okay you truly were.

“Don’t push yourself to be okay,” It’s like he read your mind, “That’s what Mingyu told me anyway, and I think I’d rather feel the burn than lock it away. It was gonna blow up in my face at some point”

He’s smiling at the mention of his friend, and smiling at you, hoping you’d do the same. You do.

“What burns you on this pleasant night, Kwon Soonyoung?” You ask as you mimic his position, leg on the bench. You place your head on the back support, gazing up at him from there.

He ponders on your question for a minute.

“Jennie knows she’s pretty. She’s confident about it, but it’s also become her fatal flaw.”

You knew that.

“I’m…” He falters, “I don't like using the word, it sounds so conceited, but I guess I’m pretty well known around campus. I knew a lot of people and I guess that, in turn meant that they knew me too. One thing led to another and I was suddenly being called a party animal and whatnot, which is ironic because I cannot hold my liquor at all”

“I’ve noticed”

He giggles at that.

“The point I’m trying to make is that Jennie didn’t like me as much as she liked the idea of me. I think she wanted someone who could match her at a social level. I say this because I heard her this one time talking to you, something about a guy not matching her caliber or whatever”

You remember the conversation immediately, it was at another party where you were telling her about a mutual friend in one of your classes, asking if Jennie was single. She wasn’t, which should’ve been the end of the conversation.

“Kept droning on about how it was hilarious to think she’d let him be seen with her or some shit. I don’t know, I owed it to the alcohol but that should’ve been such a huge warning sign. That’s just one thing, there’s so much more to back this up, but I just hoped it was her way of joking around.

“I never really felt loved during the relationship, more like an accessory for her reputation or whatever it was that she was trying to prove. I guess it was all just too Hollywood-esque for me to believe it was actually happening. All of my friends hated how she kept handing me drinks when I was way past my limit, something about me not being fun while sober.”

“Your plenty fun while sober” You gruff.

He chortles at that.

“She didn’t think so. Whatever that relationship was it was built to benefit her more than anything else”

“Do you still think about her?” You ask carefully.

“I think…I think I’m passing the angry stage right now. Wondering why I let her do that to me”

“That stage never truly goes away. I still cringe at some of my older relationships, but I think you come to terms with it. Eventually”

He smiles at that, a dazed upturn. He’s looking at you but he’s somewhere else, not fully registering you as a unit. You wonder if you should try to bring him back to earth, but he snaps out of it himself as you shift to sit up.

He immediately jumps to his feet, letting out a yelp as he stretches his limbs.

“OKAY! Enough sulking, up, come on”

His hands clasp yours in a tight grip as he yanks you up from your seat before you can even register what he’s doing. An arm is slung around your shoulders as he pulls you away to continue walking on the path. The change in mood is sudden, but infectious as he begins to talk about the carnival that opened up somewhere nearby.

“There’s this shaved ice place I wanna try” he says as he tugs you, arm still tightly holding you by the neck.

“We just ate” There’s a strain in your voice as you smack his arm in a futile attempt to get him to loosen his grip.

“Always room for dessert. All that emotional talk burnt everything off anyway, I got room”

That’s how you end up taking pictures of Soonyoung in front of a setting sun, after he’s full of shaved ice and endless rounds of the claw game. He rage quit at his fifth try.

He drops you off home, not before thanking you for both helping him and lending a listening ear.

He wouldn't leave until you walked inside and sent him a text.

Once you're settled in your bed, ready to pass out, your phone dings at a notification.

[@ho5hi_kwon tagged you in a post]

It’s the pictures you took today, you realise as you swipe through the entire collection.

There’re pictures of your shaved ice bowls, a couple subsequent ones of you skipping down the boardwalk, a couple of the river and the illuminated Ferris wheel.

You keep flipping through them all with a stupid smile, vaguely aware that this looked sickeningly like a date.

You’re back to looking at the first photo of the collection, the one you took of him backlit by the sunset.

It’s a shot of his back as he looks over his shoulder, soft smile out to work. He isn’t looking directly at the camera, gaze directed to the person behind the shot. His loss of focus owed to your (unnecessary) hype commentary, something you did for all your friends while taking their pictures.

There's a knead in your stomach as you’re unable to tear away from his eyes. He looked beautiful.

Stay until the sunsets

The very apparent suggestions of the entire post, and now the caption, make you wonder if you’re alone in what you feel.

Setting your phone down on your chest, you opt to stare at the ceiling, needing a blank stimulus for your thoughts. You knew what all that turmoil in your stomach was about, and it had been brewing for a while.

Setting foot on the thought of a possible crush on your ex-best friend’s ex-boyfriend was enough to make you question if you had truly lost your mind.

***

It was the end of the semester, and you were itching to go out and do something after finals. The invitation text was enough for Alyssa to plop herself in front of your dresser to do her makeup while you sift through your wardrobe for an acceptable ensemble.

“How’s this?” You pull out a brown satin dress, holding it up to your frame for her to see.

Peering over her compact, she gives you a look. “Y/n, this is a party not a brunch date with Soonyoung”

That has you sputtering at the thought, “Brunch?”

“Yes. With Soonyoung” The haughty look on her face is taunting. And it’s working. “Don’t look at me like that, like you haven’t been having carnival dates with him”

You attempt to regain your posture, “I was helping him with work at the library”

“Didn’t know the library offers shaved ice and views from a dock”

“We went to the carnival later, he wanted shaved ice and we came right back home, it’s normal” You reason, shoving the dress back onto then clothing rod and sifting around for something else.

“Oh yes, and the candid pictures and suggestive captions are all very platonic. Silly me”

You only sigh in response, not wanting to start this conversation.

“What about this one?” It’s another earned scoff from Alyssa. She sets down her lash curler and walks over to your wardrobe, shunning you away.

“Go get started on your makeup, I’ll find something that’s not ‘mom’s summer day out’”

Ever since the topic was touched, it’s the only thing that’s on your mind. You were suddenly hyper aware of your relationship with Soonyoung, if Alyssa was getting the wrong idea, how many others were? What about Soonyoung, was he being pestered with the same questions? Would he start avoiding you if it gets too much? It’s the only natural course of action if he doesn’t feel the same way. Of course, he doesn’t feel the same way, you doubt he’d be quick to jump into anything after the dumpster fire that was his last relationship, let alone jump into anything with you.

There’s a yank at your chair as you’re dragged around, snapping out of your thoughts.

“What-”

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or not?” It’s Alyssa, stern and determined, who’s pulled you to face her at the edge of the bed.

The automatic response is to be defensive, but that quickly fades as you realize how tired you were about mulling over this alone. You drop your hands in defeat.

“I may like Soonyoung” You mumble, picking at your nails.

“Now was that so hard to admit?”

“Yes? Do I need to remind you-” You start.

“I know, I know” She stops you, “I get it”

Sigh in response, you want nothing more than to cut off whatever part of your brain landed you in this predicament.

“Do you really like him?” She asks carefully.

“No? Yes? I don’t know. I don’t even know if I should go to this stupid party, he’s gonna be there and it’s gonna make it worse. I need to get rid of whatever the fuck this feeling is and being around him isn’t gonna help”

“Nonsense, you’re going to this party. You owe it to yourself, don’t let what you think is wrong hold you back from having fun”

She moves to hold up a dress and a matching jacket.

“This with those boots you bought” She giggles, “Isn’t it cute?”

“Girl, have you been outside this past week, I'll melt in that”

“Oh please, you run cold anyway. You can lose the jacket when it gets warm and show off those smexy shoulders” She throws the ensemble on the bed runs out the room to find your shoes.

“Oh, you’re gonna have him hands and knees!" She yells from the hallway.

"I'm not wearing it if that's the goal"

"The goal" she drags, emerging into the room with tall boots in hand, "is to make you feel hot as fuck. The rest will unfold on its own"

You sit back down on your dresser and stare at the disarray that is your entire makeup collection.

"Do you need me to cake your face too?"

You're quick to deny as you try to find the primer bottle.

"Kay, I'm gonna do my hair. It's about to get loud"

Good, you thought. Maybe it'll drown out your thoughts. Maybe you need to stop thinking about him entirely, if he’s not in your thoughts he should move out of your heart too.

Failure is instantaneous as your phone dings and you find a text from the devil himself.

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: are you gonna be at Cheol's tonight?

[You]: yup I'll be there

[You]: I'm getting ready rn

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: What’re you wearing

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: I wanna match :(

Your phone is slammed onto the table as soon as you read the text.

He’s insane.

You vaguely register the blare of the hair dryer going silent, too focused on whatever that last text was.

“What? What is it? Did he text you? Why’d you hit the table?” A string of questions pour from Alyssa’s mouth as she walks over to you and picks up your phone to see what caused your explosive reaction.

“Are you seriously upset?! This is amazing! Tell him, oh my god”

You snatch the phone back from her vice grip, pointedly ignoring the elation on her face.

“Your hair looks like you got zapped, go fix it” You snap, trying to waive her off.

“Shut up, tell him! Actually wait no, tell him the colour and that’s it, can’t be too cooperative. He has to want you more before you start shimmying back”

The initial stagger of his sheer forwardness was now replaced by the urge to throttle your friend. She notices the exhausted expression.

“No, you’re not allowed to look at me like that when his name on your phone is - that” She retorts

“That was him!” You defend.

“Whatever! Just tell him the goddamn colour before I do it myself”

***

Your still warming up to the crowd as you talk to Seungkwan in the living room over a glass of whatever he handed you when you walked in. Alyssa waited no time to rally both him and Joshua to update them on your heartfelt matters, to which they were just as insufferable as the only other person you’d told.

Joshua and Alyssa had long disappeared finding other people in the crowd, promising they’d be back with updates.

What of, you guess you’ll find out.

“You're anxious, aren’t you?” Seungkwan asks, a little smirk playing on his lips.

“Can you blame me?” You sigh, leaning into the sofa, “Why couldn’t it have been literally anyone else?”

“You can’t control that, and Soonyoung’s a good guy, better than most of the assholes out for blood” He takes a sip from his cup, “You’re skeptical because of a previous situation and that's it. There’s nothing wrong with how you feel”

You don’t have chance to reply as you hear an all too familiar laugh tinkle in the midst of the chaos.

Seungkwan must’ve felt you stiffen, his hand immediately coming up to grab your arm in a attempt to ground you.

You can only close your eyes and breathe in another deep, deep sigh.

“You don’t care” Seungkwan affirms in your ear.

He’s right.

You don’t care.

Opening your eyes, you sit up a little straighter, choosing to ignore owner of the voice.

You’re not sure how, but you didn’t anticipate the fact that Jennie would be here too. Of course she would, everyone is here.

“I’m fine”

He could tell that you were. You felt proud of that.

“For the record, you look hotter than her”

You snort at the statment and his aggravated expression, assuming he saw her over your shoulder.

“Thanks, I guess”

“I’m serious, anyone’s ugly with a personality like that”

“Alyssa said the same thing”

“Alyssa’s smart”

“Should I call him and ask where he is?” you finally voice the urge that’s been circulating for the 30 minutes you’ve been here.

He begins to laugh at that before another thing catches his eye behind you.

“Don’t have to. He’s right there”

You turn around on instinct wish Seungkwan hadn’t seen him.

Soonyoung was mid confrontation with Jennie over the open kitchen island.

It looks like a serious conversation, neither of them looking like they’re having too much fun in each other’s company.

You aren’t sure if you’re deluding yourself into thinking they hate each other. For your own sake.

Soonyoung’s gaze wanders and locks directly with yours across the room. He stills for a second before removing his stare. He’s nodding to something Jennie is saying.

You can’t help but feel small at the sight. For some reason, it projected you back to before all of this happened. To when you and Jennie were still friends and she was still dating Soonyoung. It’s knives straight to your gut as you realise how similar this is becoming to a time you don’t want to return to.

The sight of them together is familiar.

And you hate it.

It makes you want to vomit all over the floor, halt whatever was happening and give you an excuse to go home and stay there forever.

You hate how good he looks, keeping to his promise to match with you. The black bomber jacket fits him well, sunglsses perched on his head despite it being past 8 PM. He’s taken the time and slicked his hair back today, and it suits him too well for you to look at him for too long.

You turn back to Seungkwan, and you’re expression must’ve alarmed him because he’s quick to pull you up to lead you to the outside patio.

You land on yet another couch, except this time it’s beside the pool where you can already see Mingyu trying to drown Joshua in the deep end.

“Y/n! Seungkwan! Hi!” Mingyu waves from the end, looking excited to see you.

You can’t help but smile at his bright greeting as you wave back.

Seungkwans snapping pictures of his bright smile as he simultaneously shoves Josh’s head into the water. It’s a funny sight, one that makes you feel better immediately.

“He’s not gonna go back to her” Seungkwan low tones in your ear.

You open your mouth and close it again.

“I know. It’s just-”

“A lot? I know, but he’s gone through hell because of that woman, I also know every second spent with her is one he’d rather be literally anywhere else. I also also know that you already knew that but I needed to make sure you understood that she is not a problem anymore”

You nod your head as you smile and lean into Seungkwan’s shoulder.

The sickening feeling hasn't gone away entirely, but you choose to turn your attention to how happy you feel with your friends.

Joshua’s somehow overtaken and is trying drown Mingyu instead, Seokmin’s in the corner shooting waterguns to help.

You notice Alyssa sitting on the double swing right across, talking to a blond haired individual. The lovesick smile that’s plastered on her face is enough to inform you that this must be Jeonghan.

Soonyoung steps out into the patio after a little bit, eyes searching.

You shoot up from Seungkwan’s shoulder at the sight of him, suddenly conscious about how your hair looks from the humidity.

As he plops down next to you, one arm over the headrest behind you and one between his parted legs, he lets out a loud sigh. You briefly wonder why he always looks like a different shade of exhausted every time you see him.

“She just apologized” He announces, head thrown back.

Both you and Seungkwan are suddenly sitting up at attention, giving each other a look before settling your eyes back on Soonyoung urging him to continue.

“What do you mean she apologized?” You breath in disbelief.

“I don’t know, something about how she realised her mistakes and whatnot” He rubs his face with his hands like he’s trying to rub away the image of her “She might come for you next, a warning I guess”

“Oh” is all you can say, still a little conflicted over what this could mean.

“I came here to have a good time and first thing I see when I walk in is her” He spits, “Whatever, I don’t care, I’m not thinking about it”

Seungkwan pushes over his drink to him, “I didn’t poison it, it’ll help”

He accepts the cup and downs the rest of the contents, to which you realise you’d barely touched your own cup since you got here. Not in the mood to drink, you hand your cup over to Soonyoung as well, to which the contents suffer the same demise.

Just as he’s putting his cup down, a stray Mingyu creeps up on Seungkwan and pulls him into a run straight into the pool. He only half succeeds as it results in yet another cat fight on the edge of the pool.

That left you two alone.

Tearing your eyes away from the live WWE match, you look over to see Soonyoung laughing at his friends’ antics, exhaustion faded as he finds joy in watching the scene. It’s a pretty sound, his laugh, a genuine sound. The way his eyes form crescent moons, and his lips break out into the prettiest shape; everything about him is endearing. You note the tiger patch on the sleeve of his jacket, assuming he attached it himself considering the slightly peeling corners. You could fix it for him.

Sub-consciusly, you find yourself reaching out and touching the patch, pushing it into his sleeve as though it could reattach itself with nothing.

Soonyoung notices your contact, and asks you inquisitively.

“Is the patch coming off?”

“Almost”

He lets out a sound of annoyance, “I only put it on last week”

“You can give it to me later, I can fix it and give it back”

“Really? I have a few more I wanna put on there too. The instructions are so vague I can never do them right”

The party was a tame one, with no other hiccups after that. Jennie did not come over to speak to you, nor did you see her for the rest of the night, you might’ve even forgotten she was there in the first place. Despite the low beat gathering, you felt refreshed after spending time with your friends, head clearer than it had been for weeks.

This also meant you were almost entirely sure that your crush was turning into a full blown pulverization.

It irritated you that these feelings were springing out of seemingly nothing. Kwon Soonyoung was remarkable, but nothing was done in a way that swept you off your feet in a single instance. A crawl, you’d describe it, a slow prowl in the back of your mind, building momentum slowly but surely.

You left that party with Kwon Soonyoung’s jacket, and questions for yourself as to why you offered to even do this when your goal was to avoid him.

***

You’re standing in front of your ironing board, with another plethora of patches that he had given you to attach. He’d given you free reign on how you wanted to do it but you wondered how much freedom you really had considering almost all of them were tiger themed in one way or another.

His friends entertained him regarding his tiger agenda, but you wonder how fitting it is considering the way he’d been circling your feelings like they were this damned animal’s prey.

Without realisng it, you’d been staring at the blaring orange patches and jacket on the board for a solid 20 minutes, lost in thoughts of Soonyoung and his ferocious ways to pull you under.

The pieces were doing nothing to your freshly awoken mind but have you think about him even more, so you chose sanity and decided you’d get back to it when you can control your train of thought.

Soonyoung, however, refuses to let you forget him as you hear a ring come from inside your room. It stops ringing before you can pick it up and you realise he both called and texted just minutes ago.

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: haiii

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: are you awake yet?

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]:did you put the patches on

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: does it look good

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: can i see

[You]: You called

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: yeah cuz you wouldn’t answer 🤬

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: answer my texts

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: where did you again

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: do you not lurve me anymore 😞

[You]: oh my god

[You]: dude its been barely 5 minutes since your first text

[You]: i have a life yk

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]:ok ya thats great

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: patches????jacket????????

[You]: i haven’t gotten to it yet i just woke up

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: GASP

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]:CAN I COME OVER AND WATCH YOU DO IT

Any remnants of fatigue from the night before evaporates as soon as you read the text.

[You]: Aren’t you like

[You]: hungover asf rn

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: not really

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: i dint have too much other than whatever you gave me

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]:was that even alcohol lol

[You]: idk Kwan just handed it to me

[You]: but yeah you can come over if you want

[You]: i was about to start working on it anyway

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: YAY

[Soonyoungie 🐯🐯🐯🐯]: be there in 20 :3

Setting your phone down on the bed, you give yourself a couple minutes to close your eyes and think about what you just agreed to.

You want him here, of course you do. Your feelings were starting to bud into the attachment phase, where the heavy feeling would settle in your stomach when he wasn’t there. You hated how you needed his presence to feel like you could function.

You hate how much he effects you.

And despite how much you hate it, you find yourself getting up and wanting to make yourself look pretty. If pretty meant looking anything other than your just-woke-up hair and borderline no bottoms, you opted for one of your nicer lounge sets and brushing out your hair. This was you forcing yourself to draw a line of normalcy, you needed to put effort to not put effort in at all.

It occurs to you that this might be the first time you’re restraining yourself, not because you don’t want to scare someone away, but more to keep you from overstepping within your own bounds. Every love interest in your life brought about a vigor in you, wanting to do everything to appeal to them and to appeal to yourself.

This time was different. This time had you feel abhorrent towards your own feelings, for a reason that the universe molded to spring from a person most sensitive to you. And ironically, you realise these feelings may be stronger than any you’ve felt before.

By the time Soonyoung is here and sitting on the rugged floor in front of all the fabric, you’ve pushed the thoughts aside and focused on being happy in front of him.

You plug in the iron while you both try to find the right places for the patches, trying to decide what looks best.

“How’s here?” You put up a T shaped patch with a tiger surrounding it a little below the breast pocket.

“Oh, I like that. This can go there then, that’ll fit”

Trying not to think too much about how many times your fingers brushed with his while you shuffled the patches around the same jacket.

“And then you flip it over and run the iron for a little bit more” You instruct, glancing up at him to see if he understood.

You wish you hadn’t because because you realise then and there that Kwon Soonyoung has the most adorable concentration face you have ever seen. Wanting nothing more than to squish his cheeks together, you control yourself by forcefully retracting, probably a little too abruptly to be considered normal.

Thankfully, he doesn’t notice, too busy trying to do exactly as you instructed.

“Do I stop now?” He looks up and catches you staring at him intensely.

You realise you’ve been caught in the act and try to cover it up by moving forward and fumble with the fabric.

“Uh, we can check” you’re frantically lifting the fabric, touching it slightly trying not to burn yourself. “I think it’s good, yeah. Where’s the other one we can do that one now”

It might be you lying to yourself that he hadn’t noticed your heart eyes in a sub-conscious attempt to keep your cool around him, but you can’t be sure he’s not feeling just as awkward as you right now.

“Where do you even find this many tiger related patches from,” you start, in an attempt to diffuse the silence “I mean, unless it’s a hobby”

“I had a couple given to me by friends and stuff but most of them I bought at this sunday flea market” he looks up at you to continue, “It’s a really good flea market they’ve got loads of good junk, I’ll take you one of these days”

The prospect of going to the flea market with Soonyoung, especially when he says he’s going to take you is already sending off the flurry of butterflies (could be raccoons too, considering the frat party happening in your stomach).

“The patches thing isn’t really a hobby though, I think my shit job at the first one says so. It’s just the tigers really” He finishes, a slight mumble in his voice.

“They’re cute” you comment offhandedly, not missing the way his face lights up as you say that.

“Really? I mean tigers are cool, they’ve always been cool. They’re cute too, I guess”

You smile at his childish enthusiasm. You hadn’t lied, they were cute.

“Yeah, they complement the jacket too. You’ve just made a one of a kind, Kwon Soonyoung” you hold up the finished jacket, urging him to get up so he can try it on himself.

You watch him as he stares at himself and the jacket in the full length mirror, admiring his and your’s handiwork.

He waddles around to turn to you with the excitement of a child showing off their new outfit.

“Does it look good?” you almost cry at how adorable he sounds as he asks you the sincere question. As much as you’d like to fawn, you must exercise self control.

“Mhm, it really does look good. This was a good idea”

By the time you’re done cleaning up and Soonyoung has hung his jacket on an actual hanger, you suggest a bite to eat, considering how you hadn’t fed yourself since you woke up.

“Oh! Can you make that pesto salad too, that one you made that day it was really good”

You are but a puddle against his pleading eyes (that may not have been pleading that much you just think his eyes are pretty).

He’s determined to help you though, boiling the pasta, measuring the rice, asking for the nth time if “this much okay?”.

By the time you both had eaten and washed up, it was late afternoon and you were rummaging through your snack bins while Soonyoung flicked to find a movie to watch.

When you re-emerge into the living room, arms brick-and-mortared with snacks and drinks, you realise Soonyoung had picked a horror movie.

That’s not good. For you at least.

Don’t get it twisted, you weren’t one to lack valor, but you’d argue that horror movies were where you draw the line.

Dumping your arms load on the coffee table, you wonder if you should say something.

“Jeonghan said this was a good one, apparently he’s watched every horror movie in existence” He opens a can of whatever he finds on the table and cracks it open, you aren’t paying too close attention to what it is though, too busy trying to figure a way out of what’s going to become a literal night of horrors for you.

"Oh, didn't know that"

"course you didn't, wasn't this your first time meeting him?"

You want to thank him for making you look stupid.

"Right" you correct yourself, "Alyssa's always talking about him, it feels like I've known him forever"

He seems to accept that, which means you may have played it off.

But he also looks like he's about to press play on the trailer of the movie, like a sick taster for whatever was to come.

"Um, what's the movie about, again" you start, pretending to rummage through snacks even though you had no room after eating just before this.

"These things never really have a plot do they? It's just supposed to make you shit your pants anyway"

You laugh weakly at that, feeling a little sticky in your armpits, wondering if it was really getting as hot as you felt.

Trying to look at the bottom corner of the screen the entire time Soonyoung is assessing the trailer was a conscious effort, not wanting him to notice your lack of attention if you stare at anything other than the screen.

Pulling the blanket up to your chin as you settle into the couch beside him, you wonder how weirded out he'll get if you keep your head in the blanket the entire time.

"Are you okay?" he finally asks, noticing your incessant shuffling beside him.

"Yeah, yeah. Why'd you ask?" you're avoiding looking directly at him, like he could detect your blatant lies if you made eye contact.

"Do you wanna watch something else?”

“I don’t know, does the trailer look good?”

“You tell me, you just watched it too”

Right.

“I liked it”

You must’ve been believable, because it’s only a second later that he’s pressing play on the actual movie.

“I’ll get the lights”

You don’t have the energy to tell him you’d do it yourself as he gets up to switch off the lights, knowing for a fact your mother would have your head for allowing a guest do something while you were seated.

You had other worries, like how you were going to get through this movies without making yourself look like a wuss. You were fine for the first 10 minutes as the family moves into their new home, happy times as the kids settled into their rooms.

Soonyoung hadn’t spoken a word to you, too engrossed in his pack of chips and the movie playing.

So far so good.

You even briefly wonder what it’d be like to lean into his side as the movie progressed, but the thought is cut short as the first (somewhat) jumpscare has you flinching slightly.

That grabs his attention, realising you were flinching at the screen itself.

“Do you not like horror movies? Wait, fuck, I should’ve realised. We should watch something else-” He’s already reaching for the remote before you’re grabbing his stretched arm with both of your own hands.

“No, no, no. I like them, I’m just kinda jumpy with stuff like this. But it’s fun for me, like I like it, please”

“Bullshit”

“Soonyoung! I want to watch this movie”, you borderline yell.

He gives up for reaching for the remote and lets your hands bring him back in.

“You’re lying to me”, he says, a low register to his voice.

“Will you pretend I’m not?” you're still clutching his hands in a death grip, like he might lunge for the remote again.

It's silent for a minute, air thick. It was quite silly in hindsight, getting so worked up about picking a movie.

The gears are turning in his head, that much you can tell. You can only assume he's trying to refute somehow, but you've hit him with an emotional line. He's gonna have a hard time winning this one.

"Can I hold you then? To make you feel better"

He might as well have plowed his fists through your chest with the way the air is knocked out of them.

“Okay”

You need to put your mouth on a leash.

“Can I play it now?” He asks carefully, looking at you carefully.

“Yeah”

“Hon, you need to let go of my hands so I can do that”

You let go of his hands immediately, your own hands coming back up to your chest as you register that other feat of embarrassment.

He smiles as he reaches for the remote to resume the movie, and coming back to settle next to you.

Pulling away the blanket from his side, he beckons you to come closer to share it.

Scooching over slightly, he throws the blanket on so it covers both of you, paying attention to tuck it in to your sides.

When he’s done he throws an arm around and pulls you into him closer.

Leaning into you he says, “Relax, I won’t bite you”

So you do. You attempt to loosen the tension in your body as you let yourself fully mold into his side, hoping you were natural enough.

His attention is back on the movie, and yours is anywhere but. He smells like fresh linen and fabric softener, mixed with what you think is his perfume. Laundry soaps have never smelled this good.

You’re hyperaware of how his body is contracting and relaxing, how his fingers rest on your shoulders.

You debate on whether you should put your head on his shoulder. It was right there, ready for a lonely head to take refuge in.

Fuck it, I’ve come this far. Might as well.

With your head rested on his shoulder, arm wrapped around you and body engulfed in a blanket; you feel warm, the nice kind.

You’re attention, however, is diverted as you register the slowly daunting sound effects and cautious characters on the screen. Groaning internally, knowing full well what was coming, you bring the blanket up closer to your face, eyes already darting away in precaution.

What you also notice is how Soonyoung’s other hand makes its way on to your head to pat it slightly. You appreciate it though, it gives you more blockage. Your eyes are closed as an added measure when the inevitable jumpscare happens but you still flinch at the roar of the speakers.

Curse this movie and its amazing sound technicians.

By the time the movie’s over you’ve muscled through a few more jolts, more, if you count the last 20 minutes you spent with your head entirely under the blanket. Bless Soonyoung and his encouraging pats.

When you’ve finally emerged out of your hiding place as the end credits rolled, you inhale sharply as your back hits the sofa once more.

“Well” Soonyoung starts, “That was fun”

“Yes”, you breathe out as you turn to him, an exasperated smile on your face.

By the time you’re done cleaning up the hoard of snack wrappers and sprayed the room so it wouldn’t smell like cheese puffs, Soonyoung announces that he’s going to take his leave.

“Stay” you blurt out as soon as he says so. “Stay until dinner, we can go out if you want. Or we could ask the rest of them if they’re not busy we can all get together. But stay, you don’t have anywhere to be, do you?”

“I mean, I’ve been here forever, don’t you have plans” He asks sheepishly.

“Bold of you to assume I’d have two days of plans, back to back” you reply, earning you a snort from him.

“Regardless, I was gonna go to the studio to warm up for a couple hours.” he says, “If you don’t have plans, do you wanna come with? I mean, the advice you gave last time you came with Kwan actually worked. Could use your input”

“So I’m only being asked because you want input?”

“No! I mean, it’ll be fun, I could teach you too. I didn’t mean it like-” his eyes have gone wide slightly, hand coming up in defense.

You laugh at his defense, “I’m kidding. Wait here, I’ll go change. It’ll only be a minute”

***

By the time he’s warmed up the both of you with his endless stretches, you’re already panting.

“Okay, there’s this thing I’ve been working on. If we finish it today, how about we film it?” Soonyoung asks, walking over to the music controls.

“Film it? Film it for what?” you whip your head around.

“Insta, or something. I post a lot of them there, it’s like an archive”

“A portfolio you mean?”

“If having pictures of me posing also counts as appropriate in a dance portfolio, sure let’s call it that”

By the time he’s shown you what he’s been working on so far, you’re left wondering what impression you’ve given him to think this was doable for you.

“Um” you want to tell him he’s overestimated your abilities, but your cut off.

“No I’m not hearing it, up! Right now!” And he’s grabbing you by the arms to pull you up. You’re vaguely reminded how he did this by the river too a few weeks ago.

“It just looks hard, it’s not really. You’ll be fine” He promptly lets go, running to turn off the music loop.

You feel a little stupid as you try to mimic his moves. It’s not that he’s a bad teacher, he’s actually explaining it quite well, but they just don’t seem to fit your natural movements. He evens tops what he’s doing at one point and walks over to yank your shoulders back and stiffen your head up.

“You’re not relaxed, you need to stop thinking so much about it, just do.”

“Didn’t know I was taking dance lessons from Plato” you grumble.

As annoyed as you were, his advice was working. Soon you were more than halfway done, moving through each move faster and faster.

“And that’s it” he announces, “we’ll refine it a bit and then we can film”

It took you a few takes but you came to one you were happy with. He may have managed to get you to film with him but you bargained for the dimmed lights to shadow your face; alas your embarrassment is only human.

In bed, you watch the final cut he posted on his social media. You can barely watch the whole thing through before you’re switching off your phone entirely to set it where you can’t reach.

***

“Y/n, it’s literally impossible for you to know that” Alyssa exclaims.

“No it’s not. Common sense if you ask me” you reply.

“How do you know that Hoshi is not as love with you you are with him”

“Alyssa, I’m not having this conversation with you in the middle of a supermarket” you snap, throwing a bag of spinach in the cart she’s pushing behind you.

“Then when? When he’s moved on and found someone else because you wouldn’t fess up? When they move in together? When they get married? Have children!?”

Halting in your tracks, theres a vivid image of Soonyoung in a tux with a faceless woman at the alter, smiles and joy. Shaking it off, you stalk to the next aisle faster than your friend can catch up.

“Miss ma’am, do not fucking run away from me” she barks as she parks next to you in the sauce aisle. “You’re deluding yourself into thinking you have a reason to not confront him because you’re scared of your own feelings”

“Didn’t have to get that deep in front of the bechamel” you pose a sad face next ot the jar before chucking it in the cart.

Alyssa groans a dramatic sigh, you simply move on to the ginger and garlic pastes.

“The bechamel wants you to confess” she says, voice muffled with her head down on the handles of the cart.

“The bechamel wants me to be sensible”

“You’re stubborn with absolutely nothing but this, what’s it going to take”

“I don’t know Alyssa. I don’t know”

“The bechamel would also like to know why you feel the need to loiter around other people’s exes?”

You watch Alyssa’s face go sour at the person behind you. Turning around to confront the familiar voice, meeting with a sickly sweet smile and mocking eyes.

“Oh sorry, am I overstepping”, Jennie feigns a concerned voice before switiching, “Oh wait, no, that was you”

“I’d suggest the candy aisle if you’re gonna be a child about this” Alyssa rolls her eyes as she puts on the bitchiest face you’ve ever seen. You liked it.

“I don’t answer to you, Jennie. If you have a problem with me doing anything then too bad. And I’d really appreciate you quit playing ‘mean girl’ it’s not cute” You say calmly, you were not about to punch someone in the middle of a supermarket.

“Can’t believe I was about to try to make up with you. My bad, you won’t hear from me again, don’t worry about it”

With that she turns around and leaves the aisle, leaving you a little speechless.

You almost think she was mirage with how quickly she dropped in and out, not without throwing a couple on brand commentary.

“Does this bitch think she’s in some Hollywood movie, what was with the faces” Alyssa rants as she helps you unpack groceries in your kitchen.

“God, you were so right about that mean girl thing, she probably thinks she’s so cool” She turns around and makes a very apparent gagging motion. “You’d think we’re in middle school or something -”

“I’m gonna tell him how I feel” you announce, dropping the bag of spaghetti and turning around to face her.

That shuts her up, very quickly too.

“Come again” she whispers.

Shifting your weight on your other leg you exhale loudly, not wanting to make eye contact.

“I’m gonna tell Soonyoung that I like him” you reiterate slowly, more for yourself than her.

“Are you serious? You’re not joking right?” She’s dropped everything and come up to grab your arms.

“It’s probably good that I saw her today, I think she meant to discourage me but it just…did the opposite”

“When’re you gonna do it?”

“Um” you fiddle with your fingers, “When the times right, I guess”

“Vague. But I can’t even be mad about it right now” she claps her hands together, “Oh I’m so excited for you”

“Are you crying?”

“No. They’re just glazed. Like a donut.”

“Like a donut?”

“Like a donut”

You let out a chortle before turning back to put away the rest of your groceries.

It was becoming increasingly obvious of your lack of self control around Soonyoung, going against your own words of distance. Today’s altercation was a crude reminder of exactly why you started avoiding Jennie in the first place, and after all these months, you’d fallen back into the habit of allowing her to control you. The only thing holding you back from Soonyoung was Jennie, despite the lack of physical existence.

Both you and Soonyoung had changed, Jennie was still in the same place.

***

The next time you see Soonyoung, he’s an awful lot touchier than normal. He’s tipsy, so of course he is. But with a confession looming in your mind, it’s natural for you to be hypersensitive.

You’re sitting in the big house your friends had rented to celebrate the end summer season, out in the yard on the grass getting drunk and talking nonsense. The weather was beautiful, minus the mess that had become of dinner plates and drinking glasses strewn across the grass.

Soonyoung had slowly progressed from head on your shoulder, to full on back hug, to eventually lie down completely on your lap.

That didn’t stop him form positively belting whatever song Sengkwan and Jeonghan were karaoke-ing though, not wanting to miss out on anything if he went to bed inside to retire.

It was shocking how easily Jeonghan welded into the group beyond his relationship with Alyssa, one not to go amiss by Soonyoung.

He turns around on his back so he’s looking up at you.

“Are Alyssa and Jeonghan dating or are they just getting there?” He asks bluntly, probably a little louder than socially acceptable.

Jeonghan was too busy belting with Alyssa filming him, so it didn’t catch their ears at the very least.

“They made it official a couple months ago, she asked him out first because of that bet with Kwan. But he popped the real question”

“Cuties” he mumbles, turning around to look at them. “I think I wanna go to bed now”

“Come on, I’ll tuck you in” you say as he rolls off your lap and faceplants on the grass.

“I’ll sleep here”

“You’re gonna wake up as a mosquito warzone, get up!” you chide, hands under his armpits in futile attempts to pull him up.

He only hums in response, and you’re afraid he’s already falling asleep.

Dropping back down on your knees, you whisper in his ear.

“Come on, you need to brush your teeth too. And change out of this sweaty thing, you can’t sleep like this”

It takes a bit more coaxing before he slowly begins to get up, sitting on his knees looking blank for a couple minutes. By the time you’ve bumped into several decor pieces inside the house and to his bedroom, you’re thanking god he didn’t decide to room upstairs. You plop on the bed in exhaustion, having to support him so he wouldn’t walk into a garbage chute.

He’s surprisingly quick to change into his pyjamas, although it took a little more force to get him to brush his teeth, not even thinking about attempting to get him to wash his face.

“Night, Hosh” you’re about to turn out the light when he jolts up from his position from under the blankets.

“Wait!” he says, “Stay here”

“Soonyoung you need to sleep to sober up” you reply.

“I don’t wanna sober up” he pouts.

You sigh as you walk over to his bed and plant yourself at the edge. “But you’re sleepy”

He chooses to ignore you and changes the subject, “Y/n, do you like me?”

What the fuck.

“Of course I like you. Wouldn’t hang around you so much if I didn’t” you reply, not sure how you managed that.

“Oh’.

If you weren’t lying to yourself, you could’ve sworn you saw his face fall a little.

It’s silent for a few seconds before you start again, “Will you go to sleep now?”

He nods his head slowly this time, still staring blankly at the sheets.

So you get up, turn out the lights and begin walking back to where you can hear the rest of your friends’ chatter.

Thumping coming from behind you has you turning around in an instant, your fight or flight trying to understand what burglar was trying to attack you.

What you don’t expect to see is a fully awake Soonyoung stomping over to meet you in the middle.

“I thought I put you in bed” you smile, trying to understand what the change in mood was now.

He ignores you again, and goes straight to the bite.

“Can I kiss you?”

There’s a blank stare on your face as you attempt to register the meaning behind his words.

Kwon Soonyoung had asked to kiss you.

Before you start drooling, you move your head slowly in a fashion that you hope came off as a nod.

It had to have, because the next second, Soonyoung’s lips were on yours.

One hand holding your face and the other pulling you closer into him, he kisses you softly and slowly.

Shaking hands come to touch his own face as you focus on the delicate feeling of his lips and reciprocating.

Pulling away, but just enough that your lips still touch and your breathing into each others mouths, you move back in and kiss him harder. His hands are moving everywhere now, groping you at your waist, your hips, your shoulders.

His tongue is doing beautiful things in your mouth and you hope you can get through it before your knees give out from under you.

You pull away this time, and he immediately moves to kiss down your jaw, moving towards your neck. He’s starting to lose himself there as you reign him in.

“Soonyoung, Soonyoung. Hoshi!” you exclaim, voice breathy and panting. “You’re drunk”

He stops his antics, but his mouth is still pressed into your neck as he brreathes you in.

“Lay with me” he croaks out eventually.

And you do. You follow him back to his room, allowing him to get comfortable as you settle in beside him, not caring that you were still in your day clothes and makeup.

You didn’t care, you let yourself hug him tight as your head rested between his neck and shoulder. There was calm; the buzzing in your head stopping as you let yourself melt into his arms.

Your friends would eventually come inside, only find you both tangled in each other’s limbs, sound asleep.

***

The bed is empty once you wake up, not thinking anything of it as you clamp your eyes back shut and try to go back to sleep again. You’ve almost lulled yourself back to dreamland when a jolting recollection comes back to you. Snapping your eyes open again, you push yourself up on your hands, looking around the room. You see the unmistakable tiger phone case on the nightstand and realise last night was not, in fact, an intoxicated fever dream.

The water is running in the attached bathroom, and with no roommate, you can only assume Soonyoung is in there.

Falling back down on the mattress, you attempt to stretch to clear yourself of fatigue, checking Soonyoung’s phone on the nightstand that read a blaring 2:33 PM.

Rubbing your eyes and consciously getting rid of the crusties, you’re suddenly very aware of how horrible your breath smells.

Soonyoung’s emerging from the bathroom before you can find a solution, hair wet from a shower and (thankfully) clothed in a Tee and shorts.

“Afternoon” he grins in greeting, moving over to place an unexpected kiss on your chapped lips.

“I have to pee” you say as you hastily get up and shuffle to the bathroom.

Soonyoung is sitting in the same spot when you emerge after a minute, “Can you get me my toothbrush from my room? It’s the purple one”

His eyes widen as he springs up immediately, “Yeah, give me a sec”

Disappearing back into the bathroom once he gets your toothbrush, you sit on the toilet cover and try to gain your bearings.

His good afternoon kiss told you he had recollection of the night before; one less thing to mull over.

Springing up from the seat, your quick to start brushing your teeth with more force than actually required. You were going to let whatever happens, happen. No more thinking.

Drying yourself off you emerge back into the room and sit next to Soonyoung on the bed.

“Do you…” he trails off, “Do you not wanna talk about it? Because I get it if you don’t cuz you haven’t said anything yet and I kinda realised maybe I overstepped and-”

You cut him off by leaning in and placing another soft peck on his lips.

“You asked before you did anything and I agreed. That’s not overstepping. I just can’t talk with morning breath, sorry” you breathe out a laugh.

“Oh” he starts laughing too.

“Do we have to do the walk of shame to the kitchen now? I’d delay it but I’m kinda dying for coffee and an advil”

He brings your face in his hands and plants another kiss on your mouth, “They’re all still passed out”

“Perfect” you mumble against his lips, not being able to hold back your giggles.

He leads you into the kitchen, hand in hand, stopping in front of the cabinets for a solid minute. You stand there with him, wondering why he was so silent. He snaps out of it remembering you were here for food and finally turns around to ask you what you wanted.

You could only laugh at his lost expression, still slightly sleepy despite the mid afternoon sun clock.

“I don’t have energy, let’s just do cereal” you say, moving to get the bowls out of the cabinets.

“Nuh huh” he says, “You sit down on the counter. I will make you the best bowl of cereal this nation has ever seen”

You give him a look, but sit down at the counter anyways. He makes a show of whipping out bowls and boxes of cereal.

“Yeah see the key here is to be slow with it. Light lil shakes it comes right out, no broken powdery pieces that make the milk feel like soggy sand” he demonstrates as you watch, chin in your hand.

He does as instructed, only for what seemed like half the bag’s contents spill out into the bowl. You’re both silent as you absorb the comical hill of coco puffs protruding from the bowl, before giggle a little.

“No that’s fine, I’ll eat that. I’m a big boy I need my” - he turns the box around to read the description - “fibre”, he concludes.

“Oh yes of course” you agree with him dutifully.

Managing to put an actual acceptable amount into another bowl, he turns around to the fridge.

“Oat milk, almond milk, soy milk…?” He asks, head stuck inside the fridge.

“We had options?” You ask

“Apparently. Jeonghan might’ve spat in one of these though, he doesn’t believe soy exists”

Fair.

“Is there normal milk?”

He emerges all cute and smiley with the box of cow’s milk, sachaying back over the counter to finish off your bowls.

Once he’s done cermemoniusly plopping a spoon into the bowls, he takes a seat across from you.

He’s looking at you expectantly as bring the first spoonful to your mouth. You can’t help but smile wide at his expression, eyes wide and mouth in a bread smile. Reaching over, you pinch his cheeks hard.

“Ow” he says, but he’s laughing. “Well? How is it?”

“It’s very good. I’ll be excpecting you to make all my cereal bowls henceforth”

“Understood”

Today was your last day here, everybody planning on packing up, loading the cars and leaving by tonight. You hadn’t even realised till midway through your breakfast, and as you see Alyssa walk in to the kitchen. She’s bleary eyed with rats nest hair, clearly just woken up.

She whines as she sits next to you, something about a horrible headache. It’s not long before Jeonghan walks into the kitchen in the same state, resting himself against her back, head on her shoulder.

You smile at the hungover couple, clearly needing more sleep and probably an entire bottle of meds.

Realising they may have fallen asleep like that in the middle of the kitchen stacked on the counter, you smile.

“I’ll do the dishes” you announce, getting off your stool and moving to grab his bowl across the counter.

“No” he rebutts claiming his bowl and your own. “I am”

“Soon-”

“Go make the bed or something, I’ll clean this out”

“Wow. Is the Kwon Soonyoung offering to wash the dishes?” you hear another voice introduce itself. Joshua had also woken up.

You move past him to the room but you don’t miss the muffled sound of “simp” coming from the kitchen. Fighting back another sappy smile, you breathe a sigh of relief.

***

You’re out in the backyard, sitting on the steps as you try to get a good picture of the trees and the flower beds out back. It was nice and sunny, but not enough for it to be considered too hot to handle. Soonyoung comes out back with two coffees, setting them down on the wood beside you. Wrapping his arms around you, he plants a kiss on your lips when you turn your face back to him.

“Whatchu looking at?” he asks.

“The flowers look really pretty in the sun” you answer trying to pull up the pictures you just took.

“They do. You’re the prettiest flower, though.You don’t attract bees. Or die in 3 days” He says.

“Bees are pivotal for the environment, sir”

“I love it when you use big words”

“Pivotal’s a big word, now?”

“I am but a wild tiger, I know nothing but the wilderness and my prey”

You snort at his revelation, a littlle concerned how he could say that with a straight face, you peck him regardless.

“Sit down, tiger, you’re gonna get dizzy if you squat too much”

“What part of strong ferocious tiger are you not understanding” he huffs.

It takes one questioning look for him to plant his butt behind you, legs coming up to encase your entire body in his limbs. His arms stay around you, chin on your shoulder.

“Just to clarify, because Jeonghan asked in the kitchen, I mean, once he woke up anyway,” he starts, “we’re dating right?”

Not being able to handle how innocent he sounds, you turn around and place a big smooch on his face.

“You’re fucking adorable”

He has a blank face, “That doesn’t answer my question. I think”

“Yes. Yes we’re dating”

Watching his face break out into a smile, your own smile widens. You kiss him again for good measure. You don’t see how you could get tired of doing it.

Settling your back into his chest you sigh as you pick up the coffee he brought you to take a sip.

You damn near spit it back out.

“Is it good?” he asks.

You don’t answer as you try to get over the shock in your tastebuds.

He picks up his own mugs and tastes for himself. He, unlike you, actually did spit it back into the mug.

He’d salted the coffee instead of sugar.

***

You’re in bed, except this time Soonyoung is with you, playing with your fingers.

He brings your hand up, curling each of your fingers so it made a tiger paw. You straighten it back only for him to whine and do it again. You straighten them out again, only this time it’s to annoy him.

Once he’s satisfied with the positioning and yous top being a menace, he puts his own hands up in the same pose and takes a picture. It’s when he starts tapping on his phone is when you ask;

“What’re you doing”

“Soft launching you” he responds, too engrossed in picking the right stickers for his Instagram story. “Well, I’ve already hard launched you like three times on my feed already but it’s official this time”

Placing your chin on shoulder, head next to his as you look at what he’s doing on his phone with him.

“That’s too orange” you comment.

“Babe, all tigers are orange”

“Yes but choose a less obnoxious orange, that one’s nasty” you wrinkle your nose.

“Should we get a dog and dye it orange and black?” He mumbles nonchalantly.

Blinking for a moment, you reply, “Pretty sure that’s animal abuse”

“We’ll use animal safe dye. You know I saw this lady in the States dye her dog pink on youtube, it’s totally fine”

“Soonyoung, she wanted a pink dog. You want a tiger. Those are not the same things”

He sighs dramatically as he admits defeat, setting his phone aside after hitting post before turning to you all pouty.

“Why don’t you call me cute names” he asks, switching the subject abruptly, once again.

This was going to take some getting used to.

“I mean I guess I call you Hoshi sometimes-”

“No, everyone calls me that. We’re supposed to have those cute lovey dovey disgsuting names just for each other” he whines.

‘Soonie’ was off the suggestions, and you doubted he’d want you to call him something his ex once did (wore it out, really).

“Youngie?” he suggests, but goes back to thinking once he reads your questionable look.

“Nicknames catch on, don’t they. Maybe I’ll start calling you something after you embrass yourself with it”

“Oh! I can call you pesto! You know cuz of your salad” He says, bouncing on the bed to aggressively face you.

“It can’t possibly appeal to you that much-” you start.

“If you were dying and that pesto was drowning with you, I’d dive for the pesto” he deadpans.

There’s little ways you can respond to your boyfriend choosing a pleasure of 5 minutes over your life, but sure, you’ve had a couple burgers you’d string him up for too.

“Good to know. Get out of my house” you choose to reply.

“Nooooooo!” he exclaims, dramatically throwing all of his limbs across your entire body to suffocate you. “I’m not leaving, EVER!”

“This is criminal tresppassing!” your voice is muffled under his chest as he shows no signs to let go.

“Criminal trespassing on your heart!!”

You’re afraid he’s quite proud of that one, and you question why you're here for a moment. You decide to spare him a choking considering he was right.

“Hey Pesto, how about some salad for this criminal?” he asks, his disgustingly adorable smug face presented to you aas he loosens his grip.

An animal type strength comes roaring inside you as you respond by pushing him off the bed completely.

“Ow” he shouts, “What was that for?”

“For whatever it was that prompted you to say that” you say.

“So no pesto, Pesto?” he’s pouting, and rubbing his behind a little.

Deciding to be nice, you hang over the bed and pull his face up to kiss him.

“Yes pesto. If you come back up here to cuddle for a few more minutes” you smile, still holding his now also smiling face.

He’s quick to scramble, pulling himself up before you’re stopping him with a sock clad foot to his chest; “No cringey commentary or I’ll throw you off the bed again”

He responds by landing directly on you, planting pecks all over your face as you decide, then and there, that you’d take any cringey joke to have him kiss you everyday.

2K notes · View notes

paintingwhiteceilings · 8 months

Text

❃Seventeen and s/o switches languages during an argument❃

a/n: Firstly, thank you for sending my very first request; I hope I did it justice! After discussing it together, we decided to make it a more general prompt. This was such a fun prompt to try my hand at, as a fellow EU carat, it was amusing to imagine how they would react to their partner switching languages. Some of these may have become a bit, more like very, long as a result so, well, grab your popcorn I suppose :')

Anyway, it is a bit longer and more serious than my other posts but I hope that you will like it regardless!

TG: some of these are slightly angsty and DK is naked

Scoups/Seungcheol

❀ In all fairness, the two of you tend to bicker every now and then, mostly because Coups is the pettiest and poutiest person alive. As a result, you tend to be quite used to having irrelevant arguments with him. Neither of you gets incredibly upset; the arguments are mostly harmless and, at times, can be quite amusing.

❀ This time, however, you had quite a stressful day at work and were in no mood to playfully bicker with him. Apparently, you had absent mindlessly borrowed one of his jackets, and he had been missing it all day, giving Hoshi an earful as he believed he had gone out of his way to borrow his stuff again. After he discovered that Hoshi hadn't been the culprit, he texted you, but in the chaos of work, you had forgotten to reply, leaving him on read. Truly, in his eyes, how incredibly offensive. How can his love, his light, his everything leave him on read just like his members do???

❀ Cue a ton of whining and pouting when you walked through the door, wrapped in his precious jacket. He didn't seem to get the hint that you were in no mood for his dramatic antics. It didn't take long for you to snap at him, effectively shutting him up. He didn’t shut up, however, because you actually got angry at him, but because you unconsciously switched to your native tongue in your exhaustion. He had forgotten that was a thing you could do.

❀ He has dealt with the foreign line switching languages during arguments enough to know that you weren't having his tantrum. It is enough for him to realize to knock it off, but he will be pouting the rest of the evening. Not because he is still upset about the jacket, but because he has no idea what you said and he is too prideful to ask until the next morning.

Jeonghan

❀ Jeonghan rarely gets mad at people, meaning that arguments between the two of you tend to be infrequent. The only times the two of you tend to bicker is when he finds yet another way to cheat during game nights. The cheating is all in good fun, and more often than not, you find yourself impressed with his quick-wittedness.

❀ That being said, losing five times in a row because your boyfriend found another loophole in the game rules really tested your patience. You had been playing Uno together when he decided that whenever he plays the reverse card, it means he gets to go again. Somehow, he stocked up on a ton of reverse cards, and he had been getting rid of most of his cards without you being able to do anything about it.

❀ Naturally, you started arguing with him, trying to convince him that it was against the rules. It was no use; he knows the rules better than you do. Thus, in the heat of the moment, you couldn’t help yourself, and you cursed at him in your native tongue. He was mighty confused for a second, but was aware from looking at your face that you were not complimenting his quick thinking.

❀ He ended up laughing at you, finding it hilarious that he somehow managed to trigger you that much. Be prepared for him to never let you live it down. Every game night, he will cheekily ask you whether it is okay for him to cheat or whether you will curse at him in your native tongue again. From now on, he will up his cheating antics as well, trying to get a rise out of you again.

Joshua

❀ You and Joshua usually don't let your grievances get to a shouting match. Before it can get to that point, one of you sits the other down to calmly talk things out. However, every once in a while, whenever one of you is stressed about something, things tend to escalate. So when Joshua comes home late after a gruelling recording session for the sixth time that week, leaving you to do all the house chores after a stressful work day yet again, you get into a heated argument.

❀ Neither of you wanted to admit to being in the wrong, leading to you bickering back and forth. Joshua had been angrily smiling at you for the past half an hour, trying to explain his side of the story, whilst you were trying to do the same. Arguing in Korean wasn't necessarily your strong suit, and despite English being a lot easier, you couldn't help but switch to your native language as you were trying to find the right words to explain your side of the story.

❀ To be honest, I can't really imagine Joshua being surprised when you switch languages during an argument. Having lived in an environment where he has to speak a second language constantly, he probably is all too aware that when people get emotional, they switch to their mother tongue. He has had too many quarrels and fights with the other members where he kept throwing in English, unable to remember the corresponding Korean word.

❀ Instead, your argument becomes a poly-lingual discussion where the two of you keep switching between all the languages you are familiar with. Joshua doesn't even blink when you switch to your native language anymore; he is used to deciphering what you are saying through context clues.

Jun

❀ Jun is an absolute homebody. He loves to lounge on the couch for hours with his phone in hand, playing mobile games and scrolling on social media. It is the perfect way for him to de-stress after his busy schedule, where he has to constantly be on the move. Usually, you enjoy the domesticity of it, but lately, you can't help but feel like all the two of you have been doing is staying at home. It isn’t like you constantly want to be out and about, but a part of you wants to go on a proper date where you get to dress up and be lovey-dovey with your boyfriend. You have been trying to find the right time to bring it up, aware that Jun doesn’t do well with subtle hints.

❀ However, when the day finally came where you asked him to go on more dates, it ended up in you two fighting. It had all started when you found yourself bored out of your mind with Jun being on his phone again, absorbed in his own world. For the first time in a while, he got to enjoy a bit of a break as promotions had finally ended, and he intended to spend most of it relaxing on the couch. It was a much-needed break from the constant dancing and travelling. Naturally, when you proposed to go out for the day, asking whether he wanted to check out a café that had just opened up in the city, he immediately responded that he didn’t want to.

❀ Perhaps both of your fuses had been short that day, and soon an argument ensued between you two. Jun stubbornly maintained that he wanted to rest and that being at home together was enough for him, whilst you tried to explain that you felt like he didn’t want to make time for your relationship. The two of you argued back and forth, both making valid arguments but unwilling to hear the other out.

❀ Jun was already mixing some Mandarin with his Korean as he got more and more frustrated. It didn’t help either that Jun had started to speak quicker the more agitated he got, making it even harder for you to decipher what he was trying to say. Thus, as the fight reached a boiling point, you started to yell at him in your native language. Jun had never heard you speak your mother tongue at length before, so you completely caught him off guard.

❀ Jun doesn't know what to say in response to your yelling, not knowing what you yelled at him in the heat of the moment. Similarly, you are surprised at your emotional outburst. You switching languages is enough for the both of you to realize that neither of you was listening to the other anymore. After a moment of silence, the two of you decide to leave the argument for the night and calmly talk about it after a good night's sleep.

Hoshi/Soonyoung

❀ Hoshi has been trying to convince you that his native language is growling, being a tiger, and all that. As much as you try to support your boyfriend’s tiger agenda, you have attempted to dissuade him from growling at you constantly as a way of communicating. You gently told him to stop as, first of all, you can't understand what he is trying to say when he is growling, and, secondly, it is very embarrassing when he does it in public.

❀ Still, he is waiting to find any excuse to growl at you, and you have noticed that whenever you slip into your mother tongue, he sees it as a green light to start. As a result, you try to be extra careful about using your native language around him in public or when other people are visiting. At home, you feel comfortable enough to, at the very least, scold him without anyone else having to bear witness to how shameless this man can be.

❀ It had all gone downhill when you and Hoshi organized a game night with the other members. It wasn't the actual game night that resulted in you yelling at him. Oh no, it had to do with the fact that Kwon Soonyoung has the habit of leaving the toilet seat up despite you having asked, on multiple occasions, whether he could lower it after he finished his business. For the past few days, he had been doing a good job remembering, but with all the excitement of the game night, it had slipped his mind. He was reminded, however, of his mistake upon hearing a splash and a blood-curdling scream leave the bathroom door.

❀ You were livid upon entering the living room and reminded your boyfriend yet again to lower the god-damn thing. In your anger, you slipped into your native tongue without being aware of doing so. You didn't even register it until you saw Hoshi's stunned and guilty expression morph into one of absolute delight.

❀ He growls. At you. In response.

❀ It is safe to say that the other members have to hold you back before you kill your boyfriend.

Wonwoo

❀ Usually, you loved having a gamer boyfriend as it meant that you got to focus on your own hobbies, happily existing in the same space without having to constantly have to do things together. Lately, however, you had been trying your hand at some of the games he had been playing. It was a fun pastime, and you especially liked games that didn’t require a fast reaction time, allowing you to explore a world or story at your own pace without it resulting in you constantly dying. Not to pat yourself on the back, but you had become quite skilled at the games you often played. Recently, you and Wonwoo had even started to play games together; you couldn’t help but smile whenever you saw your joined beds in Minecraft.

❀ So, when Wonwoo asked you to play Keep Talking & Nobody Explodes together, you had expected the two of you to do rather well. However, it couldn’t be further from what ended up transpiring. The game required seamless communication, with one person trying to disarm a bomb whilst the other consulted a manual on how to, unable to see the actual bomb. The first level had been easy enough, but you guys immediately got stuck on the second level. Each level was more complicated than the last one and was making your way through the game rather painfully slow. For some reason, your communication was completely off, resulting in numerous retries. It didn’t even matter who the operator or who the bomb disarmer was; you simply couldn’t get into sync.

❀ You could tell that Wonwoo was getting incredibly agitated when you were taking way too long to read the Korean instructions to him, unable to understand one particular word, causing the bomb to explode yet again. He had played the game with some of the members before, and it hadn’t been this hard. It didn’t help that he kept trying to give you tips and tricks on how to play the game. It felt a bit condescending. Moreover, you could tell he was partly blaming your Korean when he sighed yet again at another failed attempt due to you fumbling over your words. It wasn’t as if this was only your fault. As a result, you snapped at him that he should try to play in your native tongue and see how easy of a time he had with it. Except, you accidentally snapped at him in the wrong language.

❀ As you continue rambling under your breath, venting to yourself that your boyfriend and the game are both stupid, you don’t notice that you switched languages. Wonwoo, in the meantime, has fallen incredibly quiet, unsure how to react. He realizes that it might have been a bit unfair to play a game that requires you to communicate complicated instructions in Korean. When you are finally done ranting in your native language, he will quietly propose playing a different game, muttering a quiet apology when you two agree to switch to Stardew Valley. He makes sure to give you lots of gifts in-game, trying to show that he appreciates you playing with him even if it doesn’t always work out well.

Woozi/Jihoon

❀ You were aware that when you started dating Woozi that he was a bit of a workaholic and that there would be times when he would prioritize his work over your relationship. For the most part, you loved his dedication to producing music; you enjoyed hanging out in his studio, watching how he expertly produced a new track. You always felt in awe as you watched him tinker on the piano, trying to figure out what chords to use for the song. In turn, he loved having you there; your questions and curiosity reminded him of the wonder he felt when he first started producing.

❀ However, his passion for making music sometimes did make you feel like a third wheel in your relationship, especially when a Seventeen comeback was nearing. He would be cooped up in the studio for weeks, ignoring all the messages you send him. Where he normally loved having you around in the studio, he would become easily agitated with you watching over his shoulder as the deadlines neared. The expectations of the members and the company would weigh heavily on him, and having you be there as another watchful eye was simply too much for him to handle.

❀ So, when you went to the studio after a concerned Coups had called you, noticing that Woozi hadn’t bothered to eat that day, your presence put Woozi over the edge. It had been a couple of weeks since you had last seen your boyfriend, and you had hoped that seeing you would cheer him up. However, he barely acknowledged your presence when you stepped into the studio, his attention captured by the screen in front of him. Whenever he did respond, it was often curt and borderline insulting. You knew it was due to him being under a lot of pressure, but you couldn’t help feeling hurt.

❀ It got to you, and before you knew it, the two of you were fighting. Woozi, who already was feeling immense stress, couldn’t deal with the intense emotions and, hence, defensively threw out a painful insult without thinking. Feeling the tears sting in the corner of your eyes, you asked yourself why you were even still here when he obviously didn’t want you there in your native language before turning to leave. He didn’t understand what you had said, leaving him momentarily speechless.

❀ By switching languages unexpectedly, it gets through to Woozi what he had said and how hurt you were by his words. By being unable to understand what you were saying, he is able to solely focus on your tone and emotions. He feels incredibly guilty about his behaviour, and it doesn’t take long for him to chase after you to profusely apologize.

DK/Seokmin

❀ Although fights do not often happen with DK, he sometimes can be a bit prideful, only recognizing he is in the wrong when the other person gets noticeably angry. You encountered his pridefulness on a normal enough day. DK had texted you that he would be over at your place after practice, so when you came home and heard the shower running, you were delighted at the prospect of spending the evening together with your boyfriend. You briefly called out to him that you were home before waiting for him on the couch to finish showering. It didn't take long for him to be done. When you saw the door swing open with your handsome boyfriend only wearing a towel around his waist, you got up to properly greet him with a hug.

❀ However, before you could do so, you smelled a familiar scent drifting out of the bathroom. You see, one of your friends had gifted you a very expensive body wash that you had been gingerly using whenever you had had a particularly stressful day. Due to it being so expensive, you had asked DK to use the other ones in your shower, just so you could enjoy it a little longer, as you weren't really going to buy it for yourself once it ran out. He hadn't listened. Cue one of the pettiest arguments ever.

❀ In your defence, you weren't even upset about him using the body wash, but instead were hurt that he hadn't respected your wishes. DK, in turn, argued that it was only body wash and that he had simply wanted to smell like you. The argument escalated without either of you meaning to, and before you knew it, a towel hit you in the face. In surprise and anger, you yelled at him in your native tongue, which made DK effectively realize what he had done. He knew that you would never switch languages without being incredibly upset and he felt mortified, recognizing that he had not only let his emotions get out of control but also had parted with the only thing covering up his body.

❀ As you threw the towel back at him, venting in your native language some more, you finally noticed DK standing before you in all his glory, looking both guilt-ridden and like he wished for the ground to swallow him whole. Seeing him standing there butt naked was enough for you to crack up, breaking the tension from the argument. DK, on the other hand, wasn't sure whether to profusely apologize for throwing the towel at you or hide for the rest of eternity.

Mingyu

❀ Mingyu often feels like the perfect boyfriend; he loves to cook and clean and lives to pamper you whenever he is able to. He takes your teasing very well, enjoying when you cheekily poke fun at him blatantly showing off his trained physique in front of fans. Although staying in Korea can sometimes be overwhelming, he truly makes you feel right at home. He strives to introduce you to his friends and tries to make as many new memories with you so that you wouldn’t have to miss your home country too much.

❀ When you guys moved in together, you had been ready to have it be another cherished memory. That was until Mingyu dropped a very precious ceramic bowl. The bowl had been a present from your family when you moved out, and you had dragged the bowl with you all the way to Korea. It was a meaningful keepsake you had taken with you from your home country, allowing you to have a piece of home in a foreign place. You had mostly used it as decoration in your previous apartment, and you were incredibly careful when using it, knowing that once it fell, it would be incredibly difficult to replace.

❀ Consequentially, when you watched your boyfriend drop it onto the floor, shattering your treasured keepsake into a thousand pieces, you felt a part of yourself fracture simultaneously. Mingyu didn’t seem to recognize what he had broken, sheepishly apologizing to you before jokingly remarking that the bowl had been rather ugly anyway. You knew he wasn’t aware of what he had broken and that it would be unfair for you to get mad at him, as it had been an accident after all. Nonetheless, seeing something so important to you not only get broken beyond repair but also mocked, set you off.

❀ As a result, you started yelling at a stunned Mingyu, who wasn’t expecting your explosive reaction at all. In turn, he got aggrieved, feeling like your reaction was disproportionate to the situation. Voicing that, however, only made you more upset, and as you tried to pick up the broken pieces to throw them out, you started crying, sobbing to yourself that it truly was beyond repair in your native tongue.

❀ Mingyu, in retrospect, doesn’t know whether it had been your crying or you switching languages, but as he watches you tearfully throw out the pieces, his anger completely vanishes, only to be replaced by an intense feeling of guilt. He will hug you tightly, apologizing for breaking something that had obviously been very important to you. After you explain what the bowl stood for, he will try his hardest to get you another bowl as a surprise, contacting your family to have them send over a new one.

❀ In the end, all is well, and to be honest, you might love the new bowl a lot more as it reminds you of how much Mingyu genuinely treasures you.

The8/Minghao

❀ Minghao and you had decided to go on a wine painting date; you had stumbled upon it not too long ago, excitedly proposing it to your boyfriend, knowing it combined two of his favourite things. Minghao had been looking forward to the date for the past week, feeling giddy despite the exhausting dance practices. He would tell anyone that would listen about the date, gushing over how well his girlfriend knew him.

❀ It was an absolute surprise to both of you when the workshop ended with you arguing. The workshop had started innocently enough, with you guys following the instructions, laughing whenever a brushstroke failed to turn out how you had intended. The wine tasted great, and both of you were amazed that the workshop was pouring such luxurious wine.

❀ However, as the workshop progressed and the teacher made his way past all the other participants to check on their progress, things turned sour pretty quickly. The moment the teacher laid eyes on you, he was enamoured and absolutely oblivious that you were on a date with your boyfriend.

❀ At first, you assumed that the teacher was only being nice when he lingered longer at your station than others. You presumed that he was being friendly and that, with you and Minghao being the last people he needed to check up on, he stayed to kill time until he needed to introduce the next set of instructions. You failed to notice that Minghao had grown awfully quiet as you conversed. When the teacher reached over to guide the paintbrush in your hand, you started to get the hint that the teacher was trying to hit on you.

❀ Minghao, on the other hand, had been noticing the glances from the teacher since the beginning of the workshop. Although he prided himself in rarely being jealous or upset, the wine made it harder for him to let his gnawing feelings go. He knew his anger was unfair and misplaced, but it didn't make him feel any less upset. Even when you gently let the teacher down by telling him that you and your boyfriend could figure it out yourselves from here, the hurtful feeling persisted.

❀ Thus, when you turned to him afterwards to check on why he had been so quiet, only to be met with a curt Minghao, you began arguing. You knew he was jealous, but he had started to take it out on you. Thus, you did the only thing you knew that could possibly cheer your boyfriend up and shake him out of his jealousy. You took his face gently in your hands, rambling sweet nothings in your native tongue.

❀ Minghao loves hearing you speak in your native language to him, feeling like nothing is more intimate than only him being able to understand the sweet nothings you are saying. He will momentarily blank as he tries to process your sweet words. It is enough to melt away his jealous feelings, making him feel a bit stupid for letting it influence his actions and words (as well as any hope the teacher had to get your number afterwards).

Seungkwan

❀ We all know that Seungkwan likes to nag and tease, not a stranger to playful bickering. Nevertheless, Seungkwan strikes me as someone who is very open with his emotions, preferring to discuss what is bothering him rather than bottling things up. Thus, you two rarely get into actual fights, as he ensures that you two regularly talk about the problems you experience as a couple. At the same time, Seungkwan is a bit of a sensitive boy, and sometimes it is easy to get into arguments with him without either of you meaning to let things escalate. A joke might not land and instead hurts his feelings, leading to an angry and butthurt Boo.

❀ During some of your playful fights, he noticed that you struggled to keep up with his Korean, switching to your native language in frustration when the Korean escaped you. He couldn’t help but feel slightly bad about you having to constantly accommodate him, which is why he devised a plan. Without you knowing, he spend a significant amount of time online skewering the internet to search for basic sentences, mildly insulting phrases and not-too-harsh curse words that he could use if you guys got into another playful argument. Instead of only you having to struggle in Korean, he felt it was only fair for him to wrestle with your native tongue as well.

❀ He finally gets to use it when you guys have a heated discussion over which coffee is the best on one of your many coffee dates; he keeps maintaining that Iced Americano is the best coffee that exists, something that you wholeheartedly disagree with. At first, you are able to respond to him in Korean, easily countering his arguments. However, as the discussion progresses, you can’t help but feel like Seungkwan intentionally is using advanced and eloquent Korean, using words you have never heard before. It doesn’t take long before you start switching out Korean for your native language, trying to hold your ground in the discussion.

❀ It is kind of comical when Seungkwan whips out a list of standard phrases, curse words and insulting sentences in your language, way too eager to use them. Rather than you surprising him by switching languages unconsciously, he is catching you off guard by using your own language against you. He is reading the sentences one by one, and although his pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired, you can tell he put a lot of effort into learning it. You don’t even know whether to be impressed by the fact that he poured so much work into arguing with you in your native language or offended by the, albeit mostly harmless, insults that he is hurling at your head.

Vernon

❀ Vernon strikes me as an emotionally mature person. Therefore, the two of you rarely argue with each other, if at all. Vernon is such a chill guy; it takes a lot to truly get him riled up, and even when he gets emotional, he is capable of maturely handling his emotions. Because of it, you haven’t had any real fights, only mature discussions on how to best navigate whatever problem you two were experiencing in the relationship.

❀ However, there was one thing that you and Vernon could argue for hours about, films. Usually, your film discussions are very civil, with each respecting the other’s opinion even if the other wholeheartedly disagrees. Hence, you guys have made it a routine to put a film on every other night, spending the rest of the evening talking about what you liked or disliked. Both of you enjoyed watching films together in this manner, with the discussions often taking up as much time as watching the films did.

❀ Tonight, however, you made the mistake of putting on a film you adored for nostalgic reasons. The film had been produced in your country, and after searching for it for a while, you had finally found a version with English subtitles. You were incredibly excited to be able to show Vernon the type of films you had grown up with. At first, you thought he was enjoying it; Vernon seemed absorbed as he watched the screen, nodding to himself when he appeared to like a particular scene. Nevertheless, once the film had ended and you eagerly turned to ask him whether he had liked it, he briefly hesitated before calling it mid.

❀ You stared at him in confusion, wondering whether you had been watching the same film. How could he call one of your favourite films mid? Sure, the budget might not have been spectacular compared to a Hollywood blockbuster film, resulting in some questionable CGI and cinematography choices. Still, it was a great film, in your opinion. When you asked him to explain himself, he shrugged, explaining that he simply thought it hadn’t been that good and that both the plot and cinematography left a lot to be desired.

❀ You were greatly offended, and before you knew it, you were heatedly arguing with him. Vernon remained calm rather than matching your energy, explaining that it was okay for you to like a film that just wasn’t his taste. Somehow his indifference annoyed you more, and before you knew it, you were ranting at him that he simply didn’t get how innovative the film was despite the constraints the director had to overcome. Perhaps by being exposed to your native language for such a long time, you brain got reset, and without you being fully aware of it, you had started using your mother tongue. Where before Vernon had been attentively listening, he now seemed lost, alerting you to your accidental mistake.

❀ It was the first time where you had switched languages in his presence, and he realizes that perhaps he had been overly critical. He will gently propose that maybe he was unable to fully enjoy the film as much as you did due to things getting lost in translation. You know he is mostly humouring you, but regardless, it is enough for the one-sided argument to dissipate. How can you stay mad at someone who is the definition of calm and respectful?

Dino/Chan

❀ In retrospect, you should’ve listened to Jeonghan’s warning when you decided to order Soju during dinner. Neither of you had expected to drink, but after a busy workweek, the two of you had decided, “Why the hell not.” You were massively regretting it now, having to deal with a drunk and stubborn Lee Chan.

❀ He refused to do anything you asked of him, and you were practically dragging him through the streets of Seoul, whilst he kept repeating that he wasn’t drunk and could take care of himself. Yeah, sure, he definitely did not keep stumbling over his own feet and was only kept from falling by your grip on his arm. It didn’t help that he kept trying to dislocate himself from you either, claiming that, as your boyfriend, he should be helping you.

❀ It all came to a boiling point when you decided to hail a taxi, too tired and exhausted to continue carrying him. Jeonghan had told you all about stubborn drunk Dino, but you had hoped that you, as his significant other, held enough sway over your boyfriend to coax him into the taxi. Spoiler alert, you didn’t, and instead, the two of you got into an argument. No matter what you said, he kept repeating that he could hail his own taxi. He’s a big boy now.

❀ Maybe it was your sore muscles from carrying him, perhaps it was Dino stupidly refusing your help the entire time or possibly it was the taxi driver warning that he would drive off if the two of you didn’t get in, but suddenly in the midst of your sentence, you switched to your native tongue. In an attempt to get him moving, your tipsy, fuzzy brain resorted to the easiest language for you to yell in. Apparently, that was all it took for Dino to shake himself out of his stubbornness.

❀ The poor guy will be so confused that he’ll easily let you drag him by the arm into the taxi. He can’t determine whether he is truly so drunk that your words have become illegible or that you actually spoke a different language. At the very least, for the time being, you have managed to break through stubbornly drunk Dino, and he lets you guide him whilst he is trying to figure it out in his fuzzy brain.

❀ He will definitely be asking you about it the next morning whilst nursing a massive hangover, thinking it was all a dream.

masterlist

905 notes · View notes