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#it’s like. it’s like. the absolute surety of your environment when you can’t see it.
leatherforhell · 9 months
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I’ve been trying to figure out what the opposite equivalent is of thinking you’re on the last stair and then there’s one more. because THAT’S what it’s like to be clara
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curioussubjects · 3 years
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Supernatural is fun because you always stumble onto stuff you already knew and connections you already made, but then it’s 1am and you’re in some stupor and you see thing again and suddenly you are hit with a brick to the face and--
I mean for real?
13.04 Empty:  I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. 
14.08 Empty:  Oh, but not now. No, no, no, no, no. No, you see, I-I meant what I said. I-I want you to suffer. I want you to go back to-- to your normal life and-- and then forget about this and forget about me.
13.04 Empty:  I know who you love… what you fear.
14.08 Empty:  And-- And then, when you finally give yourself permission to be happy and let the sun shine on your face, that's when I'll come.
13.04 Empty:  There is nothing for you back there.
14.08 Empty:  That's when I'll come to drag you to nothing.
First of all Meredith Glynn pay for my therapy. Second, as I said, absolutely none of this is new. We know it’s Dean Cas loves and we know it’s Dean’s love that would shine on Cas’s face, but I think when you put those lines next to each other it’s much easier to see the connection: in order for Cas to let the sun shine on his face, he must overcome what he fears. The Empty knew this because it read Cas’s mind. It knew the depth of Cas’s fear and of his love in a way that Cas himself didn’t. Cas couldn’t see clearly through his fear, his surety that he was unlovable because of his failures. 
And the most tragic of all, even at them moment Cas does take that step, when he finally does overcome the fear that would cloud his vision of his own worth, of his own goodness reflected back to him through Dean’s love....Cas couldn’t see it. He was taken before Dean could actually say or do anything. The tragedy of the deal with the Empty is that is comes at the moment when all happiness unfolds, but before one gets to fully experience it. Cas is happy, sure, but those are the buds of happiness. Truly, Cas doesn’t understand it still, but he could, finally he would haven been able to:
Cas:  When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever. I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.
He only got it halfway. Cas out here still missing the point! He’s still settling for what he thinks is his true happiness. But the deal was never about true happiness, was it? It was about permission. It was about Cas accepting that he was good, and wanted, and that Dean loved him. To be and say your ultimate truth means to have a clear view of the self and of the other, and of your environment, unburdened by self-loathing. 
The cruelty, the suffering here is that Cas was so close to his true happiness, and yet so far. 
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Congratulations, JULIE! You have been accepted as JAE-SEUNG KWON.
Note from Admin Jade: Your app absolutely screamed Jae-Seung. This Machiavellian serpent absolutely came to life in your app from the very first word to the very last. You did such a wonderful job of capturing the core of his essence — yes, he has the capability to know better, or even to truly care at times, but he’s never had the desire; that’s something losers resort to, after they’ve accepted defeat. But Jae doesn’t accept defeat, and you nailed his dangerous cocktail of snake-like charms and hedonism, sprinkled with the immaturity of a boy who’s never had to play by any rules but his own. I’m so excited to watch the way you bring Jae-Seung onto the dash, and I can’t wait to see what kind of trouble he’ll stir up for everyone!
OUT OF CHARACTER
Name: Hi, my name is Julie.
Age: I’m 23 years old.
Preferred Pronouns:  she/her.
Timezone: GMT+1 (love from France).
Activity Level: For activity I’d give myself an 8/10 ? I’m usually trying to be on each day for an hour at least. I do have my yoga classes on Monday and Thursday but that’s only like an hour, and I have the odd exception with homework (when it’s school time) or if I decide to have a social life etc. I’ll be super active if I have not a really big thing to prepare like exam (fortunately it doesn’t happen too often). Sometimes I can be slow with replies, taking a few hours on a lengthy para reply, but I like to edit and proofread my writing before I submit it.
Triggers: REMOVED
Anything Else?  Thank you for your incredible work, thank you for your kindness, thank you for your patience. Thank you for GAV and Jae-Seung. I say it again, I’m amazed by everything you did and couldn’t be happier to have been part of it. Whatever happens, I won’t regret having been part of this adventure.
IN CHARACTER
Desired Character: Jae-Seung Kwon.
Describe this character in your own words:
Where do I even start in regards to my fascination with him? Jae-Seung, he’s a prince of darkness. And ultimately what draws me to him is his ruthlessness, his ambition, his calculating nature. He is a man who shows no weakness, for who morals are secondary, and who is loyal only to himself. He is not held by moral codes except for a loose structure he has created for himself. Jae-Seung’s code might be his, but this is not to say it is moral or abides by typical nobility. While he has the capability of selflessness, he is mostly selfish, does as he pleases, and cares about himself first before others. That does not exempt him from the ability to care or put himself on the line for his objectives, but this is all by his own standards and rules. He understands morals to a degree but that does not mean he exercises them and he is often unapologetically immoral.
He doesn’t think much of anyone else. It’s just a fact of life. It’s not that he doesn’t care - more that if you play with the big boys, you sink or you swim. And it’s always harder to swim if you need to think about how someone else is going to stay afloat. He burns through life with the reckless surety of a rich heir - never concerned about the effects of his actions - unless it’s about him. But after years of living in this environment, of having everything be about him, who could fault him for it? It is always about him, and if it’s not, it’s wrong. Perhaps Narcissus could be a cautionary tale, but he is two times smarter and ten times prettier than he would ever be. When you’re born the perfect storm, it’s difficult not to get swept away by yourself.
He is able to use the skills that he possesses to alter the situation in his favor. He can always come up with at least three ways to get what or where he wants, and is good at shifting plans on the spot when something isn’t working. He is able to improvise, to lie, to bullshit his way out of hell with only minimal casualty. His intuition is his power; his words his weapon. People are nothing but pawn, and should he move them the right way, he will win the game. He loves to watch people squirm, to play with their minds until they’re not even sure what is lies and what is truth. He loves to watch the fly get tangled in the web, only working deeper and deeper into the threads. Like most weapons, his intelligence is best left concealed, emerging only at the most convenient of times. Jae-Seung has come across people who suggest that he may occasionally bite off more than he can chew. But in his eyes, the obstacles that he faces are merely challenges - challenges that are able to be overcome, and will be overcome. When others are willing to give up, he stands in the dust of everyone else’s defeat, simply switching the facet of his point of view and getting to work at finding another solution. He looks at every problem as a new puzzle. Like a game of chess, he can only win. In the end, he knows he will get through it – no matter how much time it takes. To him, the world is a place full of challenges that were meant for him to tackle. There is no such thing as an obstacle impossible to defeat.  When he puts his mind on an objective, he works to the ends of the Earth to accomplish his personal mission. Like a barreling train, there is nothing that can hinder him when he gets into one of those modes. Passion and ambition are what define him as a person.
Being an only child, Jae-Seung was raised at the center of the universe. While he might not admit it, he often thinks he is the smartest person in the room. There’s no denying the wealth of intelligence and overflowing pools of cleverness that resides in one Jae-Seung Kwon. He is hunger and an insatiable need to win. To survive in a world where everyone is guilty playing innocent, you need to have quick wits and even quicker thinking. An easy social chameleon with a keen eye for observation, he doesn’t ever find himself in a situation he can’t talk himself out of. Fluid and smooth in all aspects of his life, there is no situation where he could be caught unawares. Nothing can top talent and pure versatility when things go south. It’s how he shot to the top and how he’s stayed at the top, without the need to cause something as low-class as a scene.  
That smooth, shimmering charm of his goes down like fine brandy, and he knows exactly what to say to win you over. Careful and calculated, he’s no fool. He knows exactly what kind of veneer to hide his Machiavellian worldview behind, but as you swallow each and every one of his buttery words, rest assured that he feels no remorse for the arsenic he’s been silently slipping you all along. His end truly justifies his means, and there’s no reigning sense of right and wrong to tell him otherwise. Of course, he can understand how others might scoff at his methods, which is why he’s ensured he keeps them wrapped up in a pretty package of pleasant conversation and well meaning smiles, but don’t be fooled into thinking he believes he’s done anything but what’s necessary to achieve the heights he’s destined for. Lulling his victims into a false sense of security, he’s smart enough only to let on to his true colors after he’s used you and thrown you away — if he ever lets on to the viper within at all.
What are this character’s motives?
Jae-Seung is the epitome of hedonism. He is greed in his want to obtain what he desires no matter the cost. He is lust in his full enjoyment of unbridled passionate sex, even better if he can taste a forbidden fruit. He is gluttony in that he consumes everything in his path until there’s nothing left. He exhausts women and men, he exhausts possibilities, and he exhausts power. He is sloth in the way that he feels no remorse. He does things without failing to realize that they might not be what he should be doing, but does them the same way. Jae-Seung is a fee spirit, a wild card; only doing what pleases him. He is driven by nothing other than his desires. He sees everything has a game he can’t wait to win.
He has goals for himself, and while they may seem frivolous to some, they are what he wants to achieve. However, these ambitions are not empty - he is also resourceful, knowing the best way to go about achieving them. He wanted to be free of his parent’s expectations and he succeeded. He made himself and he couldn’t be prouder of his accomplishments. He lives for the thrill. He lives for the success of each new con. He is satisfied with everything he has today; of course, he is. But, there’s always more, and Jae-Seung can help but to want it all. He wants to keep lying to his parents, wants the satisfaction to know they don’t suspect a thing. He wants to show Amara where her place is, once and for all. He wants to seduce Bella, because what a beautiful prize she would be. And as always, he wants to be seen as the best as what he does.
What potential plots do you foresee for this character?
REMOVED
Would you be open to this character’s death?
REMOVED
PARA SAMPLE
ONE.
The building opened into a long, narrow corridor, lit only by candles in sconces on the wall. When they reached the end, another guard opened a second door, and there was a sudden rush of noise–live music, hundreds of voices rising over one another, laughter and gaiety. It was opulence beyond what everyone could envision, and a usual night for him.
Everything was so grand, so ostentatious. The place was resplendent with candle-lit crystal chandeliers, casting the expansive ballroom in a glittering shower of flickering light. The walls, covered in dainty gold filigree, cast the luminosity back, which caught off the jewels and shiny buttons of the people inside, chatting on the sidelines or twirling in the middle of the marbled floor to fast-paced, tinkling music from the stringed ensemble on the dais. Immediately inside the door were small circular tables dressed in fine china and glittering crystal. Grandiose floral centerpieces spilled across the black tablecloths. Roses, orchids, hydrangea, and calla lilies in shades of yellows, reds, oranges, and blues were cut through with iridescent feathers and strings of sapphires and emeralds and the odd topaz. Among the flickering light of the scattered votive candles, they winked and sparkled. Long tables were stretched out between the floor-to-ceiling glass doors open to the brisk night air outside, covered in lace cloths and piles high with ornate sweetmeats and dainty, appetizing food. There was a veritable feast laid out over several long banquet tables–delectable canapés, mouth-watering hors d’oeuvres, oysters and escargot, dainty sandwiches, and on and on.
Masked wait staff stood at the ready to serve fine cuts of steak, chicken pinwheels, and slices from the entire roasted boar, stuffed and dressed, meat falling from the bone. Then there were the dessert tables. Fresh fruit and fountains of chocolates, petit-fours, cakes and truffles, and every decadent treat one could wish for. Champagne spilled freely, waiters cut through the crowd with flutes of it, glasses of white and red wine. Music played, a lovely golden sound in the background. Several people danced on a glossy wooden floor, wearing elaborate gowns or suits.
It was a fairytale coming to life and Jae-Seung was ready to play his part. He’d spent the night smiling so much his jaw ached with it. He’d littered grins around like sweets. Smiles across at silly little girls, compliments —with unrivaled ease— their parents. His every word tinged with the perfectly calculated amount of appreciation and politeness.
Noticing Amara’s presence, he locked eyes with her as he turned in her direction. He gave her a smile, and if there were a few too many teeth in it, well, no one else was there to witness it. He snagged a glass of wine from a passing tray, watching the scene with a sense of cold detachment as his eyes roamed until he spotted the ones he was truly seeking. His eyes flickered to her eyes before meeting her searching gaze. Chin held high, coy eyes, he definitively looked the part; the so handsome and unreachable Prince, perfect in every way. He walked toward Bella, half of a naughty little smirk quirked up one corner of his mouth. ‘My lady,’ he gently kissed her hand. ‘May I have the honor of dancing with you tonight? ’ The thrill of pursuit, of a worthwhile chase, seeped into his mind. The coy smile that graces her lips is something he doesn’t expect, but thoroughly enjoys all the same, light fingers gentle in tracing her shoulder, a feathered touch with his eyes never leaving hers even after he pulls away from her skin. His voice is low, words just for the two of them; fingers ghosting her wrist. ‘It would be my absolute pleasure.’ He smiles when her eyes light up, thinking only one thing.
Hook, line, and sinker.
TWO.
Jae-Seung’s eyes narrowed as none other than Stavros strode towards him with all the fire that characterized him. He sized him up considering, recognizing someone on a warpath. By the look of it, he was going to give him a piece of his mind.
‘It was you, wasn’t it?’ His eyes are trained on the menu when he speaks, and in doing so, he’s made it abundantly clear how unimportant he finds that conversation to be – if it can even be called a conversation. He sips tea from a mug, the steam masking a contemptuous look, if only briefly. The slight wisp of a smile that finds his lips doesn’t falter when heads turn in their direction. It’s hardly an unusual accusation. Hardly one he hasn’t heard before. He is Jae-Seung Kwon, the snake lying in wait. He can’t help but stir up trouble.
In his world, rules were made to be broken, people to be toyed with, and life to be enjoyed at its fullest. Only those who didn’t win thought life wasn’t a game. How boring! What was the point then? If he didn’t find a way to be entertained, he didn’t see the point in doing something. He didn’t have time for useless or boring things. Oh, did he love a little chaos. And this is what Jae-Seung knew best, the careful destruction of things under his hand —or with his help at least; all so he could rebuild something better for himself. He was never one to let an opportunity slide, always one to know how to get what he wanted. He would play his part, and would have fun doing so. He was just waiting for the first tip of a domino to fall, for the first mask to shatter — it would all come crumbling down like an avalanche soon and he would be ready to rise above it.
‘This is not a game!’ He didn’t bristle at his outburst; instead he observed him and waited for it to pass. He recovered quickly, his expression challenging. His jaw was locked, but there was an antagonistic glint to the smirk he gave him. ‘Don’t I know it.’ He cocked his head playfully at him, his childish action out of place in such a situation. He has to bite back a laugh; that’d be pushing it just too far but god, is he tempted to.
‘Everything is a game.’ He couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘Your life had to be particularly dull with such a philosophy.’ Then, sighing, stretching his legs out to adopt a pose of indolent contentment, he inquired with an air of idleness. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, what are the charges?’ He obviously knew what he reproached him, but it didn’t mean he would make it easy. He wouldn’t show his hand so easily. Stavros would need to play his game right if he wanted answers. A sly smile spread across his face and as he continued to speak, ‘It’s hardly fair to accuse me when I ignore what offence, if any, has been committed.’ The words hang in the air between them. Jae-Seung’s face is blank, an unreadable mask, waiting for his next step.
EXTRAS
My mockblog can be found <a href=“http://jskwoninspo.tumblr.com”>here.</a>
Name.
Jae (栽) “cultivate”.
Seung (勝) meaning “victory, excel”.
Kwon (權), meaning ‘authority’ or ‘power’.
Personality.
Alignment: chaotic neutral.
Mbti: entj.
Four temperament: the executive (choleric-sanguine).
Enneagram: type eight.
Nine type of intelligence: Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”).
more <a href=“http://jskwoninspo.tumblr.com/post/156361128087/headcanons-part-i”>here.</a>
Tropes.
consummate liar, unreliable narrator, the hedonist, the beautiful elite, gentleman snarker, magnificent bastard, man of wealth and taste, pretty boy, bi the way, tranquil fury.
Sexuality.
Greyromantic. someone who only occasionally, or rarely, experiences romantic attraction. They may experience romantic attraction but not often or could experience them with no desire for a romantic relationship or desire relationships which are neither platonic nor romantic.
Pansexual. the attraction to multiple genders, rejects the idea of gender binaries and accepts that there are more than the two genders ( male & female ) rather than the spectrum.
To jae-seung, sex is a matter of aesthetics: the hard, sharp planes of men and the lithe, delicate bodies of women. There’s no attachment to his flirtation, simply a desire for contact, for heat. It’s a definite bonus if he enjoys the person’s company, but there are never feelings, never any romance - it takes a lot more than physical attraction to find a place in his heart, and he isn’t sure that it’s even possible. He is woefully casual with all his affections. Romantically, he’s attracted to intelligence and wit in a person, though he’s a firm believer in trying to avoid relationships as much as possible – it’s a tricky business, and while he does love pulling a grand act, it’s exhausting when it comes to a relationship with a stranger based on a front. He has the capability, on some level, to love another. It’s just a matter of finding a proper match, an equal, a counterpart that’s actually worthy to stand by his side. Sadly, such candidates are few and far between. Jae-seung is a notorious flirt, you never know whether he really means it. Sometimes he does, but most times he doesn’t. Even when he does he tends to lose interest quickly.
Language & accent.
korean  (  mother tongue with strong busan satoori  )  —  mandarin (  fluent  )   — english  (  fluent  ) —  Italian (fluent) —   —  french  (  decent   ) — spanish (  learning  ).
As he grows he first acquires languages by necessity, but it soon becomes hobby, because they’re interesting, a challenge. The nuances that vary from language to language bringing a spark of excitement to bright eyes. He views each language he’s acquainted with as another badge — an accomplishment he can flaunt without needing to reduce himself to the crassness of bragging. Korean. The mother tongue, the language his ears hear first when his mother cradles him in her arms, wailing with his firsts cries to the world. Mandarin. As a toddler he follows his mother around the manors, trailing after her down long hallways on soft feet, listening in on rich and fluid sounds of a language his mothers speaks like she breathes. He drinks in English taught by his nanny before he even learnt to walk. French, his great-aunt insists he learn it, you can be an accomplish scholar otherwise, she said. Italian. The beauty of the language appeals to him, and as he loves to say you can never learn too many languages. Spanish. The most recent of his endeavors that he is by no means fluent – yet – but he wagers he’ll have it under lock and key in a few months.
Occupation.
Lawyer
He could be the new face of the Kwon name, could be the legacy his parents dreamed him to be. But why would he when it’s so much simple to pretend. The golden boy, the perfect heir: the liar extraordinaire. How could he resist when he saw a chance to shape his own future; in something even better they could have dreamt of.
Con man
The silver spoon in his mouth didn’t sate his hunger, he was still always starving. Starving for things to do, places to see, and people to meet. He reached his hands out in front of him and grasped all that he could see. He learned trades and slipped into the shadows, he took things that did not belong to him sheerly for the thrill and satisfaction. He learned how to use his boyish looks to get people to trust him and hand over the things he wants. He learned his way around words, and he learned how to become a friend of the dark. Becoming a conman was easy, it was in his blood, he carried it with him everywhere he went. Jae-Seung had wanted more, so he took it.
Deception comes so effortlessly to him that, he could only assume that he was born for guile and theft. He is the antithesis of James Bond, clad in stolen couture and silver-tongued lies. His quick tongue and innate ease makes fooling the targets an easy feat. He can play up the innocent act as easy as anything else, fluttering lashes and lilted tones making it easy for his deceptive cover eat up any sucker that dare believe it. He gains trust and demands respect, something that those around him are too scared to debate, making his efforts on the inside simple and effective. He’s good at it, or so he’s been told (but he knew as much already). There’s something of a talent in him for bending people to his will, making them believed those honeyed words he turns, gold threading through a spinning wheel.
Socialite
He is built for this world, this life. He commands attention and keeps it with no issues. Fashion icon. Socialite.  Jae-Seung Kwon is who you want to be, but also the one person you fear the most. A deadly combination that makes his time in the limelight unfleeting, a throne held with an iron fist. It was because of his innate hedonistic nature, a characteristic he had become an expert at hiding, wearing a mask of sophistication and superiority like a glove. The young man had an easy sort of charm about him, a flash of the eye or a well-timed joke had always been his forte, despite having barely any parental guidance. And those on the Elite would often describe him as a pleasure to have around.
Song.
Eyes on fire - blue foundation
( I’m taking it slow / Feeding my flame / Shuffling the cards of your game / And just in time / In the right place / Suddenly I will play my ace) ― his manipulation.
Emperor’s New Clothes, PANIC! AT THE DISCO
( Sycophants on velvet sofas / Lavish mansions, vintage wine / I am so much more than royal / Oh, yeah The crown / So close I can taste it / I see what’s mine and take it ) ― his ambition.
Quotes.
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul. ― William ernest Henley.
How characteristic of your perverse heart that longs only for what happens to be out of reach. ― Pierre-Ambroise Choderlos de Laclos.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times, hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. — Marilyn Monroe.
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