Kokichi isn't ready to lock in and be a parent yet

I only have 4 followers on this blog but I need to vent and get my thoughts out and maybe organized a bit more. I’m doing it here instead on my main because no one on my main follows me for Dangaronpa stuff and no one I know is into Danganronpa. So this is the only place I can explicitly vent about my Danganronpa fics. So here it is:

So basically, I’m working on a VR AU fic. The pairing for it is Kaito/Kokichi (my fav pairing for the fandom, though orginally it was gonna include Shuichi too but it’s kinda not happening, especially since I’m having trouble with the fic already without adding in a 3 way slowburn relationship). And it’s just so hard and I’m stupidly anxious about it for multiple reasons.

The first one is, there are already so many other fics along the same lines and a lot of them are good. And like I feel like they’re better than mine and that mine’s so inferior by comparison maybe it’s not even worth writing even though I know it’s not a competition. And I have my own spin to the idea, for one it’s not one shots (every VR AU fic I’ve read so far as been one shots, I’m sure there are plenty that are longer too that I just haven’t read) it’s a continuous story starting in the hangar and going until it reaches a stopping point (I’m a discovery writer, I make stuff up as I go along so I don’t actually know where it’s gonna end). Also, I have a few elements in it that I haven’t seen anyone else do (I’m sure someone has done similar stuff though, I’m admittedly still new to the fandom and don’t read as much fic as I would like so I just haven’t seen it). But even with that new stuff, I worry that that stuff isn’t good, like maybe it doesn’t even make sense.

And the format of it requires me to write exposition because the characters don’t know what’s going on so someone needs to explain to them (it makes sense for this to happen I feel like? I worry that it maybe doesn’t though?). But exposition is the bane of my existence. I despise writing it with a passion, especially if it’s heavy and this is. I have to balance keeping it delivered in a way that makes sense that is also in character for the character giving the exposition and it needs to feel natural, not forced or there solely for the reader’s benefit.

And like, I’m super worried that maybe I’m getting the characterization wrong and misinterpreting things about them and their motivations (the fact that they were written a bit inconsistently in places definitely contributes to this). Especially the main two, Kaito and Kokichi, so it’s not just a minor worry.

And my writing style making it so I don’t know where exactly it’s going makes it a bit nerve wracking too even though I know it has a good chance of working out by now.

And it’s a longer fic. I don’t know how long exactly but it for sure feels like it could go for a while, 20 chapters maybe more if I had to guess. For point of reference, I’m in the midst of writing chapter 6 right now and in fic time it’s only been just over about 24 hours total and I’m thinking it might on for several months at least, I don’t know for sure. It’s been a long while since I’ve written a long fic, years since I’ve written a slow burn fic. And the first ever long fic I wrote ended so horrendously I get nervous that something like that might happen again here (I have this fear with every long fic I’ve ever done because of that first awful fic, it haunts me).

At this point, I’m kinda thinking about maybe just giving up on it. But I’ve already put a lot of time, effort, and energy into it (even going back to rewrite parts several times to make them better) and I still really like the overall idea and the ideas I have for some of the scenes that might happen in it. So I don’t really want to give up either. Maybe I should just start uploading it, getting positive feedback on it would probably help me feel like anxious and better about it over all. But A) there’s no guarantee I’d get positive feedback on it (or any at all) and I don’t like the thought of relying on that especially since I’ve been so good about self motivating myself lately. And B) uploading a fic as I go opens up the possibility of disappointing people, either by a bad ending (or it just turning bad in general at some point) or by the fact that maybe I can’t finish it (I hate abandoning fics, makes me feel like I failed) which is one of the reasons why I like to finish things before I start uploading them.

Maybe the feeling will pass eventually? But it’s been going on for more than a week now so maybe not too. So, I don’t know what to do. :(

Sleep, Child

Character(s): Kokichi Ouma and K1-B0

Ratings: T for Teen and up audiences, M/M

Summary: Kiibo doesn’t sleep. He waits. This time shouldn’t have been any different, but Kokichi gives him an unexpected visit in the middle of the night.

Author’s Note: This fic takes place almost immediately after the 3rd trial and will touch on a few spoilers from up until that point. Special thanks go to @morgenglorie and @actualalvin for beta-reading this fic for me!

Read it here or on AO3.

Kiibo hated nighttime. To him, it was the loneliest and most nerve-wracking time of the day. During those hours he didn’t sleep; he waited. Every night he waited for morning to come, hoping that the others were sleeping safe and sound in their own beds.

It was lonely having nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company. Only once a week he had to recharge himself and even then he was conscious during that process. Recently he had noticed that Saihara, Momota and Harukawa would stay up for a little bit longer after the nighttime announcement to train outside together. He wished to join them, but not wanting to intrude, he usually silently observed them for a moment before heading inside.

What bothered Kiibo more than not having company, however, was that he had no way of knowing if everyone was still alive until after he had counted all their heads at breakfast. He had liked it better when the Student Council had put a rule in place that allowed only its members to be active during nighttime, but in the end that hadn’t saved anyone.

With the Student Council gone, things had gone back to the way they once were, which meant Kiibo was back to worrying through every night in solitude- or at least that’s what he had expected this first night without the Student Council to be like.

He had been reading one of the books on the human mind he had gotten from the library when the sudden sound of his doorbell ringing gave him quite the scare. No noise escaped him, but he did get to watch his book drop from his hands and close on the floor without any indication of where he had stopped reading.

Whoever was standing on the other side of the door left him no time to mourn the loss of not being able to use his bookmark because they started ringing his doorbell relentlessly. Fearing something bad might have happened, Kiibo quickly got to his feet and moved to open his door. When he did, he was greeted by the face of the Ultimate Supreme Leader carrying his signature wide smile.

“Why are you here, Ouma-kun?” Kiibo asked, worry in his voice. The harsh things Ouma had said to him were still recent in his memory. He could do without being called emotionless or a piece junk again.

“Why? I came to kill you, of course!”

“K-Kill–?!”

Those words were enough to make Kiibo stumble back. For every step he took backward, Ouma took one forward. It had been his mistake to not close the door when he still had the chance because now Ouma was in his room and there was no way he was going to be able to push him out with only the strength of a healthy senior citizen.

"Nee-heehee... I'm just kidding," Ouma sang, kicking the door closed behind him with his heel. “The rules say we have to kill a person and then not get caught, so there’s no benefit to getting rid of a useless scrap of metal.”

Usually, Kiibo would call Ouma out on his robophobia, but just this once he would hold his metaphorical tongue. He wasn’t about to give Ouma any reason to believe he would make for a good victim. Kiibo was already nervous having the Ultimate Supreme Leader in his room as it was.

“Again, why are you here, Ouma-kun?”

“Heeehh? Are you still asking that? Put that artificial brain of yours to work and figure it out yourself!”

That was all Kiibo would be getting out of Ouma as an answer. Ouma suddenly sprinted past him and jumped towards his bed, arms outstretched. The bed made a loud “not good” sound as Ouma landed on it face forward. Laughing mischievously, Ouma rolled over on his side and then onto his back. Kiibo could only narrow his eyes at the sight.

“This bed is wasted on you, Kiiboy. You should be thanking me for using it!”

“You’re staying?” Kiibo asked, his face betraying his surprise.

“I don’t know. Am I?” Ouma replied, his voice suddenly monotone.

Kiibo clearly wasn’t meant to reply to that, because Ouma rolled over again and turned his back to him. The robot sighed before moving to pick up the book he had dropped earlier. With book in hand, he sat back down on the desk chair he had been using before he got so thoroughly disturbed. “Suit yourself then.”

There was a moment of peace in which the only sound filling the silence between them was that of Kiibo quickly going through the pages of his book to find the part where he had left off. Kiibo could feel Ouma’s eyes on him. He tried to pay it no mind, but he only managed to pay attention to his book for so long before the intense stare of these purple eyes became too much to bear.

“If you’re staying, you should try to get some sleep,” Kiibo suggested, keeping his eyes on his book in an attempt to make it seem like he was still reading.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeh?” The sound drawled out in a lazy manner, as if out of involuntary protest. “So it’s true, robots really don’t have a brain after all! As if I would sleep in the room of a potential murderer,” Ouma rolled around a bit on the bed again after he had said that, restlessly so, until he finally stopped after a full minute. His body remained motionless after that small tantrum.

Carefully, as if even the smallest movement would spring Ouma back into action, Kiibo looked over to see if he was still breathing. Kiibo was relieved to see the other’s chest go up and down still. To his surprise, Ouma seemed to be sound asleep now- the irony of that would have been hilarious to some, but Kiibo just went back to reading his book.

Reading was the most roundabout and inconvenient way for Kiibo to gain new information. Saving a digital version of the book he was reading would more efficient. However, because he had no internet connection at the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles, this wasn’t an option available to him. Regardless, even if it had been available, he felt as if he would have been spending his nights like this.

There was something comforting in turning page after page as so many humans had before him, just like Ouma’s slow and steady breathing was pleasant to listen to. Although their conversation had been short-lived and not at all desirable, Ouma wasn’t too bad when he was asleep. If anything, Kiibo would say he liked him better in this state.  

Being a quick reader (or as some might say in this case: a quick scanner), Kiibo finished reading chapter after chapter. Occasionally he shot a glance at Ouma’s sleeping face, smiling softly to himself every time before going back to reading. Just as Kiibo was thinking that being able to keep at least one person save through the night like this was nice, reality came in to burst his bubble.

Ouma had been moving in his sleep since the beginning as any human would, but at some point, it had evolved into the restless tossing and turning he was doing now. Another change to Ouma’s sleeping behaviour was the quickening of his breath. All the movement, as well as the ragged breathing, was a reason for concern to Kiibo. He slid his bookmark between the pages of his book before closing it and approached his bed to check on his guest.

Casting a shadow over the other’s trembling frame, he let out an unsure question. “Ouma-kun?” He leaned in, “Your body is signalling signs of distress. I will now attempt to pull you out of this state. I apologise in advance for waking you up.”

Kiibo reached a hand out to Ouma’s shoulder to shake him, but before he was able to, Ouma’s arms suddenly wrapped around his waist. A yelp escaped Kiibo as he was pulled down and onto the bed. In response to his scream, Ouma only held him tighter, like a bear trap setting its teeth deeper into its victim. Kiibo feared something bad was about to happen to him until Ouma’s sobbing registered with him.

“O-Ouma-kun? Hey…” No response. Kiibo was waiting for Ouma to reveal that these were crocodile tears as usual and that he was a stupid, useless robot for falling for such an obvious trick, but no such reveal came. There was a moment of hesitation before Kiibo returned the forceful embrace by taking Ouma in his arms.

Being unsure of what he should do next in a situation like this, Kiibo spoke the first thing to come to mind: “Fear not! You may cry on my chest if you wish. I am waterproof.”

Those words were good for a half-laugh, half-sob from Ouma. They stayed like this for some time; long enough for Kiibo to realize Ouma must have been having nightmares and that they were probably connected to his reason for coming over in the middle of the night to begin with. Kiibo was curious about what Ouma had seen in his nightmares, but even he knew better than to ask him about that now while he was still so shaken.

Ouma’s sobs gradually died down until the hands which had been so desperately holding onto Kiibo started pushing him away. For once Kiibo got the hint and let go of the other. Finally, he was able to have a look at Ouma’s face. The bloodshot eyes staring back at him only gave him more reason to believe those tears had been real.

“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t say it,” Ouma warned him through gritted teeth, his voice cracking mid-sentence, “or Iruma-chan’s next maintenance session on you will take a lot longer!”

Kiibo had never been good at reading Ouma, but even so, he was certain this was the most sincere he had ever seen him. Heeding Ouma’s warning, Kiibo didn’t ask him how he was feeling or what was wrong. Instead, he cupped Ouma’s face in his hands and gently wiped away the last of his tears.

“If you don’t want to hear me talk, then I will listen instead.”

A shaky sigh passed Ouma’s lips as his face relaxed in Kiibo’s hold. The supreme leader looked like he could and would cry more still, but instead, he gradually closed his eyes as he leaned into the robot’s touch. ‘He’s only a child,’ Kiibo caught himself thinking as he silently studied Ouma’s features closely. Somehow Ouma seemed even more boyish like this. He looked soft, vulnerable. ‘He doesn’t deserve this.’

Ouma eventually opened his eyes again but avoided making eye contact as he pushed Kiibo’s hands away. When Ouma finally did look up to meet Kiibo’s gaze, his eyes were fierce and burning with an emotion Kiibo couldn’t place.

“You got some guts to tell me that... It better mean you plan on sticking around,” He paused briefly to take a sharp breath, “I need anything but a broken scrap of junk in my life. I don’t need you to listen, I just need you to live.”

‘………… Huh?’

Kiibo’s blush setting went all the way up as he put his recording of Ouma’s words on repeat. The heat coming off of him was so great that the temperature of the room went up by a few degrees.

“Y-You’re not making any sense!” Kiibo pulled his mask over the bottom half of his face to hide how hard he was blushing. His chest plate felt warm and he wondered if it was anything like having your heart beat fast, “Just a few hours earlier you were telling me that you were going to kill me.”

The seriousness which had surrounded Ouma ever since he had stopped crying disappeared immediately. He tilted his head to one side, his face expressionless as one hand reached for Kiibo. Just as Kiibo had been about to ask him what he was doing Ouma started knocking on his head loudly.

“Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Whoa, there really is nothing in there!”

“Correct. My motherboard and other essential components are stored in my chest.”

“Don’t outsass me.”

Kiibo wouldn’t pretend to understand the situation he had found himself into. Was this the same person who had told him all robots should be destroyed? He couldn’t differentiate the lies from the truth. Thinking that Ouma had to be messing with him as usual, Kiibo pulled his mask down again as his blushing function turned off.

“If you don’t want me to talk or listen, then that doesn’t leave me with a lot of options,” Kiibo mumbled, twiddling his fingers, “I will go back to reading and you should try to get some more sleep.”

“No,” Ouma replied immediately. He shook his head as he looked at Kiibo with tired eyes, “No, I… I don’t want that.”

The fear of going back to sleep wasn’t something Kiibo could relate to. He didn’t know what it was like to dream or to have nightmares. Even so, he realized that the images and sensations Ouma had experienced in his sleep must have been terrifying. What was Kiibo to do to make him feel better?

Needing guidance, Kiibo turned to his inner voice, but strangely enough, no reply came. The silence shook him. This was the first time his inner voice left him in the dark. However, without the help of the inner voice that usually guided him; the decision he made next was no one’s but his own.

“I could sing you a lullaby. Song of the Cradle has never been sung for me, but I know the words and the rhythm.”

What Kiibo failed to mention was that he had been practising singing this song in secret. He had sung for Saihara once before. The detective had hated it and even gone as far as to call his singing terrible. Kiibo had given up on becoming an idol after that, but nevertheless he had wanted to get better at singing by experiencing the hardship of training.

Ouma pulled up an eyebrow at him, but otherwise seemed to be intrigued by Kiibo’s suggestion. The child lay back down without a word, nuzzling his face into Kiibo’s pillow and closing his eyes. Kiibo took that as a sign he was allowed to start. Not needing to take a breath, his signing voice came out immediately:

“A canary sings A cradle song Sleep, sleep, Sleep, child!

Above the cradle, The loquat fruits sway Sleep, sleep, Sleep, child!

A squirrel rocks The cradle by its rope Sleep, sleep, Sleep, child!

Dreams in a cradle, With the yellow moon shining down Sleep, sleep, Sleep, child!”

Kiibo had sung his lullaby uninterrupted. He expected Ouma to be asleep again now, or at the very least for the other to praise him. No such thing happened. Instead, Ouma rolled over onto his stomach and groaned into the pillow, “Hu wah horobel.”

“Y-You don’t mean that!” Kiibo replied, his face heating up again, “I practised a lot! You’re lying.”

A defenceless yelp escaped Kiibo when Ouma threw the pillow at his head. After the impact of the throw, the pillow hit the floor with a soft thud. Although Kiibo couldn’t feel physical pain, he still reached for his forehead and got “teary” eyed.

“I would never lie to save your feelings because that would imply you have any. Your singing made me want to throw up and that is the truth,” Ouma did look like he was about to throw up, but if that was because of Kiibo’s singing or the fact that he was telling the truth was anyone’s best guess.

While still sitting on the edge of the bed, Kiibo turned around and bend over to pick the pillow up from the floor. He hugged the pillow to his chest when he moved to face Ouma again. There was quite a convincing frown on Kiibo’s face as he pouted at Ouma.

“You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!”

“Well, duh. You’re a piece junk and I'm an evil supreme leader, remember? Those are our roles. You gotta play by the book, Kiiboy! Imagine if you started using your head and thinking for yourself. That certainly would be a tragedy.”

Kiibo’s frown gradually disappeared from his face. His anger subsided despite being openly insulted. Ouma was right, that was the kind of relationship they had now. Still, did it really have to be that way?

“We could start over,” Kiibo suggested, his voice soft, “We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret, but I think we can put our differences behind us. I am K1-B0, the Ultimate Robot! But please, address me as Kiibo!”

“Do robots have dicks?”

“I said start over! Not repeat!”

The serene yet cheeky smile Ouma offered Kiibo was just barely enough to make up for the hurt Kiibo felt at getting his suggestion shot down. He could only assume this meant Ouma liked their relationship the way it was. Kiibo couldn’t say if he agreed with that, but that fact that Ouma seemed to have cheered up a bit did help to lift his spirits as well.

“Riiiggghhht,” Ouma finally replied, rolling his eyes and ruining the mood exceptionally fast, “I’m bored now. This conversation is over. I’m leaving, but I’m taking this with me,” Ouma had already yanked Kiibo’s pillow from his hands before Kiibo could do as much as “blink”.

“What? No, wait–!” Kiibo reached for Ouma to stop him, but the little devil was too fast. By the time Kiibo had gotten to his feet Ouma was already at the door. The Ultimate Supreme Leader sniggered as he opened the door and then put a finger to his lips in one swift motion.

“Don’t fantasise too much about me until morning. If you do have a dick, then keep it in your pants.”

And just like that, Ouma was gone. Baffled, Kiibo stared at his closed door. He took a few steps backward and felt behind him for his desk chair before allowing his legs to buckle under him. The desk chair creaked under his weight as he plopped down on it.

Kiibo’s heart felt heavy as he leaned back and began to slowly spin around on his desk chair. Only once he began to feel dizzy did he grab the edge of his desk to stop himself from spinning further. He pulled himself closer to his desk before placing his elbows on top of it. Leaning forward, he folded his hands and gently bumped his forehead against them.

He understood nothing, except for one thing.

“Don’t go dying on me either.”

Ouma/Saihara fic just posted!

Hello you all! I wrote an Oumasai fic and wanted to share! Yahooo! My first contribution to the Oumasai fandom! :D

Title: Limerence

Summary: After his horrible experiences in his past school, Saihara is ready to enter Saishuu Academy and start anew. Now all he has to do is fit in. Easy. Or so he thinks. It isn't long before a classmate of his starts hanging around him more and more and more, practically existing around him like a benevolent shadow. What's his deal, anyway? It isn't like he asked for the attention, but then again, he's not saying he minds, either.

Basically a fluffy, loving, and supportive high school au where kids don't have to worry about killing each other. :D

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 3,253

Warnings: None, though mentions of bullying. Stay safe! 

Fanart that inspired the chapter: @emubirb‘s ouma and saihara fanart, because I love it! Please go check it out and reblog from them! ^◡^  http://emubirb.tumblr.com/post/155310356005/if-youre-taking-requests-could-you-draw

Chapter 2 3 4

AO3 Link  ✌( ° ∀ ° ) Fic below cut~

Chapter 1: First Meetings and New Starts

New school, new you. There's nothing to fear. Nothing to fear, nothing to fear. Everything will be fine. This isn't the first time you've introduced itself and it certainly won't be the last. Everything will be fine, right? Saihara Shuuichi was currently waiting in the hallway outside his new classroom, convincing himself that transferring to a new school, in a new city, halfway through the year was not something to freak out about. This was a common practice, tons of people transfer schools. This is fine. These people didn't even know him. They had no agenda against him and it was going to be fine. He had come from a smaller-yet-not-cosy-small high school where everyone knew everyone but not on a close enough level to always care. It allowed people to witness drama and bullying but not be familiar enough to justify getting involved. He supposed that system had been kind to others... it certainly hadn't been to him. It had started off small. His peers had constantly teased his appearance, his studiousness, his reluctance to go out and drink with the rest of them at any given opportunity they could. He must have been an easy target: his face hadn't refined into the masculine jaw that his classmates had obtained, nor did his shoulders broaden to a significant degree to allow his masculinity to be apparent. He was constantly mistaken as a girl. He tried to assure himself that they were honest mistakes, but after weeks and weeks of the same misunderstanding from the same people, added onto the fact that their expressions were sneering, he had to come to the conclusion that they meant it on purpose. It was fine, really. He was never close enough friends with any of them to begin with. ...Or, it was, until– Saihara shook his head. Now was not the time to start that train of thought. It's okay, he thought, the people here look nicer. Which was true. He had seen various faces on the campus that morning, smiling and cheerful and not a shred of malice in them. This time, he thought, this time will be different. It has to be. No, I'll make sure it is! He breathed deeply. This was nothing to worry about. All he had to do was to introduce himself and fit in. Easy. Yet despite his self-reassurances, Saihara still pulled on the bill of his hat until it was over his eyes. Oh god, he thought. There are so many ways this can go wrong, aren't there? A sound abruptly crashed Saihara's train of thought. He looked to his left to see two kids half-running toward him. One had extremely pale hair and was chasing after another boy with short and flippy dark hair. Kids? In a high school? The pale-blonde shouted as the other boy laughed. "Ouma-kun! Please return my wrench to me! I need it for my fourth-period elective!" "Not until you promise to build me a super-cool robot arm, Kiibo-chan!" 'Ouma' continued to laugh heartily as he waved the other's wrench around, seemingly not concerned that he was waving around a wrench that could seriously hurt somebody. Saihara just stared. So, they aren't kids? They're my age? They're wearing the uniform... Could they be my classmates? Saihara was so shocked by the display that he hadn't noticed the dark-haired boy coming up to him. The boy stopped and turned to him, expression completely wiped clean of the mirth it had previously. "Huh? Who are you?" Saihara's previously forgotten nerves flooded his senses. It was happening already? He wasn't prepared at all. No, no, I can do this, he thought. He breathed out before responding, "I'm your new classmate... I think." The boy (Ousa? Ouka?) hummed, still standing in place a few feet from Saihara. His classmate, on the other hand, had not forgotten his quest to retrieve his wrench and yanked from the boy's grasp before he could retaliate. He gasped and pouted, "Kiibo-chan! Not fair!" "You weren't paying attention, it was clearly fair game," 'Kiibo' replied tactfully. "Booring." Saihara couldn't help but stare. This was so much more different from where he was before. His past classmates would have just walked off without sparing him a glance. What kind of place is this academy? The pale-blonde noticed Saihara staring at the both of them, awkwardly standing by the doorway. "Oh! A new classmate? So you're the transfer I was hearing about." He stuck out his hand to Saihara before smiling broadly, "My name is Iidabashi Kiibo! It's nice to meet you!" Saihara smiled faintly before returning the gesture and shaking his hand. "It's nice to meet you too, Iidabashi-kun." "Oh, please call me Kiibo! Everyone else does." Saihara started to relax. Such familiarity on the first day was a good sign, right? "Okay, Kiibo-kun. My name is–" "Ah! No fair! I wanna introduce myself next!" Saihara found his hand jostled out of Kiibo's grip and into a new one. Compared to the polite firmness of Kiibo's hand, this boy had clasped Saihara's hands in both of his warmly. Saihara looked from his hands to see his new classmate with a bright sparkle in his eyes. "Woow, your hands are so soft!" "Eh-?" Saihara blushed a little. That wasn't something people just said out loud. Who is this kid? "Uh, you are–?" "Oh that's right! I haven't said my name yet. Though with the way Kiibo-chan was shouting it I wouldn't be surprised if you already knew it by now," The boy giggled. "That's because you had taken my wrench!" Kiibo harshly reminded him. Saihara tried to piece it together. He had thought he heard– "Ouma...kun?" Saihara tried. "Is that your name?" "Yeess! You got it!" Ouma cheered. "My name is Ouma Kokichi. I'm super amazing! Did you know I once survived a whole month without food by only living on fruity soda?" Saihara stopped. That's... ridiculous. That can't be true... can it? Kiibo sighed. "It's a lie." "Huh?" "Yuuup! It was a lie. I'm a liar after all." Well then. Saihara sighed. What kind of person responds so cheerfully when getting called out on an obvious lie? "By the way, you haven't introduced yourself yet," Ouma continued. "You're not gonna be rude and make your classmates wait, are you?" Oh, shoot. He had completely forgotten. Saihara almost reached for the bill of his hat but remembered that his hand was still in Ouma's grasp. He steeled himself before looking the two in the eyes and introducing himself. "I'm Saihara Shuuichi. I came here from a different school. It's...nice to meet you both." He finished. There, that wasn't bad, he thought. "Yes! Welcome to Saishuu Academy," Kiibo said, beaming at him. "Hmmm Saihara-chan, huh?" Ouma was wearing an expression somewhere between a smirk and a genuine smile, eyes crinkled at the edges. Saihara stared at it. What is he-? "Anyway, I can't see your face very well with that dumb hat in the way." Saihara had barely any warning before Ouma tugged on his hand. Saihara fell forward slightly as Ouma arched his face up so it was right in Saihara's face, underneath his hat. Saihara stood there, uncomprehending the change in situation. He was suddenly staring into the dark, warm eyes of his classmate and when did he get so close close close– "Woooow, Kiibo-chan, Saihara-chan's eyes are gray! I've never seen anything like it!" "Wh-" Saihara couldn't help it; he blushed. What is happening? What is happening?! Saihara was saved from further embarrassment when Kiibo pulled on Ouma's shoulders, effectively dislodging their hands. "Don't mind him Saihara-kun, Ouma-kun can be a bit... invasive." "Hehe, I couldn't help it!" Ouma grinned, as if it was all one big game to him. Kiibo pushed Ouma towards the classroom door and opened it. "I hope you'll forgive him, Saihara-kun. Anyway, it was nice meeting you. I await to see you in class!" Kiibo declared with a smile after pushing Ouma and then himself fully through the door. Silence ensured before Saihara breathed a sigh of relief. It's only the first day and these are the kind of people I'm meeting... Saihara jolted when a head bobbed out of the open doorway. Ouma was staring at him with a blank expression. He then smiled blindingly. "It was amazing to meet you, Saihara-chan! I look forward to getting to know you this year~!" Ouma then closed the door, leaving Saihara once again in silence. ...Well that was... something. — Saihara had quickly and successfully introduced himself to the class once the lesson had started. His teacher had been unassuming and kind, placing him in the back of the classroom where the open seats were. That was a small relief. At least now if he made a big mistake, not as many people would notice. His hat had been taken off for the day in accordance with the school code and safely placed in his shoe locker. At lunch all of his classmates had introduced themselves and had vowed to make him feel welcome. A classmate who introduced himself as Kaito had instantly placed an arm around his shoulders, deemed Saihara as "a trustworthy individual," and accepted him as a friend right off. A red-haired girl named Yumeno had told him about a magic trick she was preparing to welcome him into the class, and an enthusiastic individual named Yonaga had offered up a prayer to her god to bless his initiation (what god and religion that was, Saihara still wasn't sure). Gokugahara, a large muscular classmate of his (How is he only in high school?) had even offered to give him a tour of the school gardens, ranting on the various bug types present there. Apparently he was an insect enthusiast? All in all his classmates had ensured a warm welcome and Saihara couldn't be happier about it. Things really were starting to look up. Currently he was walking beside a girl named Akamatsu Kaede, who had piano clips in her hair and a gentle smile always present on her face. She offered a tour around campus, which Saihara had gratefully accepted. Apparently this academy was well-funded. There were various classrooms that dealt with music, art, science, and various other fields of study. The gym had a pool, rooms for boxing and martial arts, and there were even rooms for sports like tennis and badminton. The library was full of books and shelves that climbed several stories. Saihara had been in awe. Am I really going to school here? In this amazing place? He and Akamatsu were currently walking to the cafeteria (or what he assumed was the way to the cafeteria, since Akamatsu was leading). She had asked him all sorts of questions, about his likes and dislikes, what kind of movies he watched and what hobbies he had, and she had responded with interesting facts about herself in turn. They were getting along swimmingly and he appreciated her overflowing kindness. He was already beginning to see her as a close friend. Saihara casually mentioned his interest in criminal mystery novels, to which Akamatsu cheerfully replied, "With all the books in the library, you'll be sure to find some good mystery novels!" The conversation kept progressing smoothly and Saihara began to relax a little. He had nothing to worry about. Her questions had been prodding, but not invasive. Right, as long as she didn't ask him why he transferred– "So, why did you transfer?" Well, crud. This wasn't a question he wanted to answer now. Or ever. Why can’t people just forget about it completely? Saihara let out a small breath, coming up with the most believable white lie he could. "Um... my father had a job change." "Oh, cool." Phew. That seemed to do the trick. Hopefully people would stop asking about it. It technically wasn't a lie: his father had come to the new city to work. The reason for transferring jobs however... that was a bit more than Saihara was willing to let his classmates know just yet. Akamatsu turned to him and smiled disarmingly. "Well, for whatever reason you came here Saihara-kun, we're glad to have you!" Saihara could feel his stress slipping away as he smiled back. Yeah... maybe I can make a new start here. — The day had ended and all of his classes had progressed smoothly. Saihara was immensely relieved that his classmates were so warm-hearted and accepting. With a smile on his face Saihara exited the classroom with his bag and headed down to the shoe lockers. Akamatsu had accompanied him with an offer to walk together until she had to go to her piano lesson studio. Akamatsu continued to ramble on about their classmates. "Shinguuji-kun may be a bit quiet, but he'll tell you anything you want to know about folklore. He's amazing! And Iruma-san might have a foul mouth but she means well. Harukawa-san isn't standoffish at all really, she's just shy! I'm sure you'll fit in in no time." "Thank you, Akamatsu-san," Saihara smiled back. "I really do appreciate all you're doing for me." "Don't mention it!" Saihara stopped in front of his locker and slid open the hatch. There were his shoes, right as he... ...Huh? "Akamatsu-san," Saihara asked, "Have you seen my hat anywhere?" "Your hat?" Akamatsu asked in surprise. "No, I haven't. You said you put it in your shoe locker right?" "Yes, I remember doing so..." "Maybe it's back in the classroom?" She offered. Saihara sighed. "I'll go check there. You can go on Akamatsu-san, I know you have a piano lesson to get to." "You sure? I don't mind..." She trailed off. "Don't worry about it," Saihara assured. "I'll just check around briefly. I'm sure it's around here somewhere." — Of course, of course it has to be lost on the first day of school. Saihara had searched the hallway, the bathrooms, and all the other places he had visited. He continued to scrounge in the classroom, checking in corners and under desks. No luck. He let out an aggravated huff. I need to find it soon, otherwise I won't be able to make it in time. He decided to search under the desks, again, when someone came to look in the open doorway. "Hmm? Saihara-chan, what are you doing here?" Oh, it's Ouma. "Nothing, Ouma-kun. I'm just trying to find my hat." "You hat, huh?" "Yes, I remember putting it in my shoe locker but-" Saihara had turned to face Ouma and saw exactly what he had been looking for. There was his hat, right between Ouma's fingers. Ouma noticed his gaze and waved the hat around playfully. "Oh, you mean this hat?" "...Yes." "Well Saihara-chan, I'm kind of fond of your hat. I thought I'd find it if I looked in your shoe locker." Ouma looked proud with his reasoning. "You... stole it from my shoe locker?" "Yup! I did! Hey, are you mad? How badly do you want it? Are you going to chase me for it?" Ouma grinned. Saihara blinked. He couldn't understand what was happening. The day had been going so well yet- The memories flashed through his head as he suppressed a shudder. Classmates holding his books and bag above him, taunting him, kicking his stomach as he tried reaching for his belongings, only to pour out his bag's contents on top of him when they'd had their fun. Their words rang through his head. Come on, Saihara, can't you reach it? What's wrong, too much of a girl to fight for it? Aw, look at that he can't even stand up! What a loser. Hahaha, hey, do you mind if I borrow your pen? I lost mine see, and you can't even stand up to reclaim it... Haha, hey wimp, are your parents proud of such a failure? Saihara felt the anxiety creep in. No, no... I can't let this happen again. This isn't like last time. No, I won't let this happen again. Drawing in a breath, he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he calmly walked over to Ouma, who was simply staring at him. Saihara stopped in front of Ouma and held out his hand. "I want my hat back, please." The two stared at each other. Ouma had no traceable emotion on his face. He simply stared at Saihara as he remained firmly in place. Moments passed, and Saihara was starting to wonder what was wrong. I'm pretty sure he heard me correctly. Is he going to decide? Do I need to ask again? Saihara was about to request his hat once more when Ouma's expression changed. His eyes widened and his smile curled until his face was practically beaming with joy. That was... not what Saihara was expecting. Before he could question it, however, Ouma lunged forward and placed his hat haphazardly on his head, the bill pulled down so much it effectively blinded him. Saihara stumbled slightly. "Ah-" "Of course Saihara-chan! If you didn't want to play with me all you had to do was say so!" Playing? Is that what this is? "Anyways Saihara-chan, I don't think you even need your dorky hat. In fact, I think you look much better without it!" Ouma confidently declared. "Uh," Saihara eloquently replied. He wasn't sure how to handle this. Teasing to praise within such a short amount of time? Ouma, however, was unaffected by Saihara's confusion. "Bye bye Saihara-chan! Tomorrow I'll be sure to think of even more fun games to play. See ya!" Ouma left, closing the doorway behind him, leaving a shocked and slightly flustered classmate behind him.

— Ouma walked down the hallway of the school, almost giddy with excitement. How unexpected! He had seen Saihara's attachment to his hat and had decided to play around a little. After all, he thought, if it's so much fun to make Kiibo-chan chase after his things, maybe it'll be fun with Saihara-chan too! It was easy. All he had to do was take his hat, and then the fun would begin. When he waved Saihara's hat in front of him like a taunt, he had expected a chase, maybe even a distressed plea to return it. He hadn't expected Saihara's face to pale, and certainly hadn't expected his eyes to have a touch of fear. Fear? Was it fear? What had surprised him the most, however, were Saihara's actions. After the fear, Saihara had calmly walked over and asked for his hat back. He held his shoulders high and looked into Ouma's eyes resolutely, unflinching. There was no fear or wavering resolve in his expression. It had caught Ouma off-guard. Ouma had seen a spark. A spark that lied in Saihara's gaze. Behind the timidness and the lack of confidence lay someone who would rise to the occasion. Someone who could overcome even the darkest moments of life, someone who would face tragedy head on, someone who would stick by his beliefs no matter the circumstances. The person he saw (no, glimpsed) was a man confidence and willpower. Someone who would not bow down to anything or anyone. He hadn't expected it. He hadn't predicted it. It had been exciting. Ouma was practically bouncing his way out of the school now. Hey, who are you, Saihara-chan? Ouma thought as he started to skip. What are you capable of? I can't wait to find out! Ouma let out a breathy giggle as he exited the school, eagerly awaiting the next day that was already full of possibilities.

Notes!

- Limerence: (n) the state of being infatuated with another person - Kiibo and Ouma's interactions, and even Ouma and Saihara's interactions, were based on when Kaede first met Kiibo and Ouma. Ouma and Saihara's interactions were also based on their love hotel scene that I've seen translated (the part where they speak). - I based Kiibo's last name on the professor that made him in canon. I had Saihara switch to calling him Kiibo because I'm pretty sure even I'll get confused if we use that last name for long... - In this Au Ouma is not mentally ill (at least like he is in canon) and there is no killing game, just kids being normal high schoolers. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ - And yes, they are wearing uniforms to this school in the Au. If you need an idea, the clothes they wore in the prologue are a good reference. - More characters will be featured, just be patient!

Hope you all enjoyed it!  ＼(＾▽＾)／