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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

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Heathers AU MasterPost

So anyway, I made a post on one of my alts about a Heathers AU so I went and made one. Enjoy?

Character Assignment:

Heather C: TangoTek

Heather D: ImpulseSV

Heather M: Zedaph

Kurt and Ram: Cub and Scar

Martha Dunstock: Joe Hills.

Veronica: XisumaVoid.

JD: Evil X.

Contextual Changes:

-The Convex aren't creeps in this AU like Kurt and Ram are, just really shady business men. I'm not comfortable with that in my AU or portraying characters based on real people like that; even if it is just the character. Sorry.

-Joe isn't bullied for being fat (because he isn't.) He gets bullied for being weird. IE, 'who writes poetry for fun? Geek.'

-Unlike Martha Dunstock who has a crush on Ram (or Kurt if it's the movie,) Joe just wants to befriend Scar and learn how to make hella money.

-Xisuma (Veronica) and Evil X (JD) knew each other before the AU started but Xisuma hasn't really given him the time of day until now.

-Also they aren't a couple, just good friends.

-Dead Gay Son and Shine A Light were removed because they didn't really have narrative purpose.

-Anyway, this is based on the musical meaning if anything changed from the Movie, (IE, Betty Finn's disappearance) that also goes here.

Line Changes: (WIP, also I'm bad at lyrics. Feel free to comment or reshare with additions.)

Veronica: Things will get better, soon as my letter, comes from Harvard, Duke or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma, then I can blow this town.

Xisuma: Things will get better, soon as my letter, comes from damn SMP Live. Wake from this nightmare, no longer have to care, then I can leave these guys.

(Tomcat)

Heather C: Mascara maybe some lip gloss, now we're on our way.

Tango: Leave the helmet, come on let's see you- oh you're kinda cute.

(Tomcat)

Heather M: Course if you don't care, fine, go braid her hair. Maybe Sesame Street is on.

Zedaph: Course if that's your schtick, fine, go suck his dick. Maybe get the gay pornos on.

(Tomcat)

The Plot:

It's the start of Season N. Xisuma's getting tired of being admin and has secretly planned this to be his last season on the server. His plan is to join SMP Live once it's all over. His friend Joe Hills (they've been friends since season 1) asks X if he's free to hang out after the recording day is over. X is like 'yeah, sure bud! :D' and Scar and Cub start bullying both of them.

Some time passes and X is chilling in an area he's not meant to be in. Team ZIT is also there and a hermit who isn't the owner of the area says 'hey? Are you allowed to be there?' Xisuma pulls out a fake I.O.U and says 'yeah, we have permission.' The hermit leaves and Team ZIT take an interest in Xisuma. They let him join team ZIT. (Beautiful.)

Meanwhile, The Vexes are leaving for about a week or so. Cub and Scar decide to hold a 'welcome to the new season!' Party at their base and invite Team ZIT+X. Tango peer pressures Xisuma into making a fake invitation to Joe Hills for the banter and Xisuma does it. (Candy Store.)

Anyway, Xisuma stumbles across Evil X winning in PVP against Cub and Scar. (Fight For Me.) After Cub and Scar either die or retreat (or both,) Xisuma says hello to Evil X and strikes up a conversation. Evil X is sad because everyone thinks he's evil and he has no friends. Xisuma apologises to him for treating him too harshly and banning him whenever he comes online and they become friends. (Freeze Your Brain.)

The Convex throw their party. Xisuma gets drunk and throws up on Tango's foot or something and Tango is ticked off. Tango's gonna PVP him and or grief his base, whichever takes ya fancy. (Big Fun.)

Xisuma goes to Evil X and climbs in through his window. They just hang out and play games all night and get to know each other better. Evil X suggests on kicking Tango out the server for threatening to grief Xisuma's base. Xisuma isn't sure about that initally but he eventually around. (Dead Girl Walking.)

The two go to Tango's base and offer him suspicious stew. Tango gets poisoned from it and Evil X 'jokingly' punches him and kills him. Xisuma bans him before he can respawn.

Xisuma writes a goodbye note to the server from Tango saying he's leaving. Nobody suspects Xisuma actually banned him. (Me Inside Of Me.)

After that kerfuffle, Scar and Cub go and try to get Xisuma to buy stuff from them. Xisuma keeps telling them to shove off as he can't leave as he's working on a build. Eventually, he gives up and goes to vent to Evil X. (Blue but the lyrics are so changed it's not even the same song.) Evil X suggests pranking Scar and Cub to get them back. Xisuma says okay and sends a message down the communicator saying 'hey, okay, maybe I do wanna buy from you. I'll give you 10 diamonds for (insert item) if you meet me in the shopping district behind Mumbo's shop at sundown.'

Anyway, Xisuma meets with Cub and Scar at sun down. He starts stalling because he didn't actually bring any diamonds. Evil X snipes Cub. Scar tries to run away. His communicator buzzes and he realises Cub was banned. He says he 'doesn't understand' and starts crying because Evil X 'banned his best friend.' Evil X kills and bans Scar too. Xisuma's like 'why'd you ban them? How did you ban them?'

Evil X explains he can ban people and always could but only in the window between being dead and respawning, hence why he always wanted to PVP everyone. Evil X forces Xisuma to write leaving notes for Scar and Cub. He doesn't care what's on it, just put the blame on them. Xisuma remembers that Tango was Cub and Scar's best customer so he says that they'd been planning to leave for a while but Tango leaving was the last straw. (Our Love Is God. But it's not because they're just friends.)

Xisuma tries to talk Evil X out of banning anyone else. Evil X feigns it working. (Seventeen)

Meanwhile, Zedaph is having a hard time trying to cope with Tango leaving. He's just finishing up a build and is mumbling to himself about how he's gonna leave the server once it's done. Xisuma catches him and encourages him to stay. Zedaph stays. (Lifeboat and Shine A Light Reprise.)

Joe tries to leave too due to Scar and Cub leaving. He actually does for a bit but is convinced by Xisuma over discord to come back. (Kindergarten.)

Xisuma starts getting worried about his plans to leave the server. He's beginning to realise that he's basically the glue holding this server together considering the fact that people have started to want to leave. (Yo Girl.)

Xisuma hides in his base to have his mental breakdown meanwhile Evil X is outside telling him about how he's going to destroy the server (ASMR.) Xisuma uses commands to make it look like he's left the server. Evil X falls for it and goes to nuke the server. (Meant To Be Yours.)

Xisuma goes to hunt down Evil X. Xisuma finds him in a big hole filled with TNT under the shopping district. Evil X monologues for a bit and Xisuma tries to ban him. It doesn't work. Apparently Evil X swapped their roles in the server, making it so that Evil X can ban people without killing them and X can only ban people during the 'dead but not respawned' window. Xisuma and Evil X PVP for a bit and Xisuma slays Evil X. (Dead Girl Walking Reprise.) Xisuma comes out the hole and Evil X sets off the TNT anyway. Evil X dies and Xisuma bans him. (I Am Damaged.)

Anyway, Xisuma, Joe and Zedaph become friends, the end. (Seventeen Reprise.)

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