Little sketch I did while at the hospital waiting room

Alma and Kanda are fighting again

In regards to Ed seeing Buttons turn into a bird:

There really is something so intensely heartening about being so thoroughly used to bad things and bad thoughts and thinking “change is not possible. Good things are not possible,” and then actually see that change is possible. To truly see a different way forward than the one you always expected

One of the many things I love about this show is not only does it show the trauma, it also shows the healing process. The idea of “getting better” is so abstract, it’s overwhelming if you have no idea where to start. It’s so important to me that shows like Our Flag Means Death and Steven Universe address these and show how these middle steps can happen

I’m so happy Ed was able to truly see his turn around. Sending love to everyone suffering out there. Change is possible, I swear 💕

staring at the everything will be O.A.K poster on my wall like WILL IT?? WILL IT REALLY?

this picture is so funny like O’Brien was so mad and for what?? 😭😭

* while attending a gala, Fugo and Pesca meets a certain someone *

Fugo " mom...is that your ex?"

Pesca * looks at prosciutto in the back of the room and sighs * " yep..."

Fugo * looks at her suspiciously * "....are you still into him?"

Pesca * avoids her " son " 's gaze and mutter under her breath "....yes"

Fugo * eye twitching and almost ready to throw a fit, whispers * ".....you are going to sleep with him, aren't you?"

Pesca * meets prosciutto's gaze and feels her knees buckle, heart racing, a mix of nostalgia and lust/love/hate fills her heart...then she whipers "...probably"

LISTEN i love reading fics where reader falls asleep after getting railed but PLEASE for the love of all that’s holy: piss after sex

why is everyone being so shady on here lately lol… the black writers on here like is it really everyday… first nigga eren for the millionth time this year now y’all making indirect comments on how writers write 😵‍💫 saying how some accounts with big followings works don’t be good or that their writing isn’t all that… this is an app, this is fiction and more importantly it’s not that serious.

Sui

I wanna blow my fucking brains out. I'm back at actively Hating the person who convinced me not to kill myself. Like wow look I'm going through this shit alone. Thanks for the HELP you fucking prick. I won't let you drown in shit, says the person who sits there and watches passively while you drown in shit. Maybe stomps you into it a little more when you start screaming for help. Because "ohhh I can't put up with this shit" did you think I was fucking with you you god damn asshole? Did you think I was exaggerating about how bad it was? Fuck you. Fuck. You.

How I feel whenever I say "this week I'm gonna have a bendy chapter"

Being an adult is just constantly thinking "maybe this will be the nap that finally fixes me".

i ate cheese and my digestive system sounds like the cleric beast

if you ever read something i say and think that was gay as hell then take a screenshot and send it to me im making a scrapbook

Anyone else get super sad when they get a sugar daddy bullshit ask/DM?

Like YES I would fucking love to be a sugar baby and get paid for being a cutie patootie but noOoOOOOOooOoOoOoO life hates me and it’s all fake :((((

I keep seeing posts about The Terror. I do not know what it is, and I don't have much interest in finding out. I think it is much funnier for me to be confused at reading further and determining, "no, this post is not about that fucked up old man from The Tick."

Vent post, okay to reblog though I guess

The thing I notice most about being a fat trans woman is how nobody wants to talk about it.

I mean, sure, it’s an identity combo that will come up occasionally in laundry lists of identity combos when people are professing vague textual expressions of unspecified support, but nobody is really willing to talk about what it means.

I have tried to talk about what it means, what it feels like, but after one too many untouched twitter threads and reddit posts with two upvotes, I am more than aware that thin people, even thin trans women, would much rather keep on scrolling to the next 1000k upvoted post of a skinny woman on two months of HRT who already looks more feminine than I will after my whole transition.

And I don’t have anything against those women; I wish them all the best. But it really hurts seeing it, knowing people don’t really care to talk about how femininity as a trans woman is so often only obtainable if you are skinny, or else if you are fat in the precise right way that is only obtainable through intense body modification and/or surgery. I don’t get to mention the uncomfortable smiles and derelict dating profiles when other trans women gush about the vibrant new queer sexual communities they have found since transitioning. I don’t get to talk about how I am far and am therefore either a man, or a woman so ugly I bring down the mood when I impose myself into communities that they expect to all be full of hot, skinny queer women.

Because the thin lefty queer folks in those spaces don’t want to admit to themselves how often they are viscerally grossed out by my body. It impinges on their self-image as liberated and universally accepting. And like, I don’t begrudge them not being attracted to me. Nobody owes anyone else attraction, or reciprocation to advances (at this point I mostly don’t bother making those advances). But what does bother me is how people will continue to talk like this isn’t a thing that is true, to cover their ears and shut their eyes and continue to crow about how achievable these things are for everyone, how femininity is just a clothing change and hormones away, how easy it is to date other trans women and form sexy catgirl polyam harems once you come out, how it’s “just about confidence!!!”.

I wish that were true. I wish that was my experience with the culture. But although I have been out as trans for a while, I am still treated, in terms of sex and romance, roughly equivalently as a fat woman as I was as a fat boy; beneath notice. Knowing through the subtle cues people give that if I even tried to approach a thin cis woman it’d be a genuine “hello??? Human resources???” moment.

I failed my last diet. I will probably start another one soon that will probably also fail, and then I will keep trying, because society has been screaming at me for years that getting thin is only way to achieve a version of me that they will accept for who I want to be. You can’t transition weight in the same way as you can transition your gender presentation, at least not without a lot of physical and psychological pain, but that is what is asked of us, or at least me. The world screams at me for it. It’s astonishing how much casually worse people see you as for being overweight; it’s so pervasive that people simply cannot acknowledge it, because it would too greatly shatter their impression of a fair world.

Because people won’t talk about this I’ve never been offered a serious practical alternative to continuing to hate my body and trying to, some day, lose weight. if there is an alternative solution I’ve never been offered it because people will pretend that there is simply no problem. I am repulsed by the idea of gastric surgery, but the last few months the idea has really started to grow on me as a last resort that I might simply have to try before it gets too late for me to have a womanhood. Dieting landed such a blow to my mental health at the end of last year and I have nothing to show for it since I have pretty much gained everything back. It really saps my hope for the future that even after all this, I still don’t get to just be a girl and be liked/wanted by other people in general.