if you told me a few hours ago that "all pulp no juice" was in reference to gilear's sperm count i think i would kill you ? and yet that's the reality in which we live

I got so many requests for these three with a “just fell in love” expression, so… here you go!!!

i cannot explain how much kristen needs to change her marketing tactic

she keeps going around and saying that cassandra is the goddess of mystery and doubt and the night, but thats not quite true. cassandra is the goddess of finding safety in the unknown. of not being afraid of doubt.

she is the belief that even if you don't know where you are or what to do, if you are lost and alone in a dark forest, there will be something on the other side, and all you have to do is get there. Cassandra is the goddess of staring into the cold, uncaring void and feeling a warm hand clasp your own, of a whisper in your ear saying youre going to be okay. you aren't alone. it is going to be scary and hard and uncertain, but you will never be on your own because i am here with you. you will never be lost because i know where you are

forgiving your past self ☀️

I’m so glad Buddy Dawn is getting to see what real combat looks like. Even if it only lasts through one or two waves of monsters before getting a little dicey, I think it’s incredible.

Imagine the majority of your adventuring experience at this school being Stomping Rats then seeing then most popular kids in school absolutely devastate monsters you’ve never seen before on their reactions. And when they finally attack?

The goblin who is literally in every single extra-curricular and looks one more piece of bad news away from just disintegrating badly injures a creature then disengages.

Then the guy who threw the best first party of the year of all time - who has a neck tattoo and a demon motorcycle - gets bit by his desk, answers an exam question, then slices up a hydra. His motorcycle turns into a dog and kills the hydra. They both take a bow.

The Archdevil of Rebellion, a Bard-Warlock-Paladin who went to her own class for the first time ever months prior and is currently disguised as the proctor, Fireballs just so many creatures, leaving two baby jellies. She also curses a gorgon.

The kid who multiclassed where no one had ever multiclassed before throws his axe so hard that it changes the gravitational pull, does a ridiculous amount of damage, and knocks this bull prone.

St. Kristen Applebees, Helio’s Chosen One who is on her third deity, immediately destroys eight skeletons after praying to her basically dead goddess.

The Elven Oracle hasn’t even had a turn yet.

If this doesn’t convince him and the Rat Grinders that the Bad Kids have earned their status, I don’t know what will.

guy who yells out “IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT” before letting out the gentlest, smallest scream you’ve ever heard in your goddamn life

This fucking killed me dude.

Also I have SO many things clipped from FH so if anyone is looking for smn feel free to msg me

Thinking about the Bad Parents this episode because like, imagine your child, who's constantly burdened with the fate of the world, comes to you after school and says it's not enough. That they have to take the Last Stand exam and it's tomorrow. You have no time to take time off work to be with them, to be able to wait for them when they get home.

And then the next day you say goodbye in the morning, you kiss them on the head and tell them you love them. But you know that the next time you see them they will have died. You know that all the day you're at work, your child is fighting for their life in a drastic last stand. How do you focus with that knowledge? How do you move on, wondering if your child is already dead? That while your working or doing chores, your child could be lying on a sandy flood, dead, while all their friends fight for their lives?

How do you move past it? How do you live out that day?

celebrating our favorite blue boy's return to the table!

thinking about how both kristen and buddy died so easily. how they were treated as disposable sacrifices by both their church and their god and their community. thinking about "helio wouldn't have let that happen" and thinking about kristen dying on the first day of school despite being the chosen one. thinking about how the religious conservatives are always the first to cry "think of the children!" and then being the ones to harm their children the most in the end.

THAT WAS FOUR ROUNDS OF COMBAT.

There were lots of legendary actions and reactions and prepared actions but that was FOUR ROUNDS.

24 SECONDS plus a few minutes here and there to answer academic questions?

So IMAGINE that you transfer to a new school where your adventuring party just kills rats in the woods and then you’re the designated cleric for the popular kids in their Big Battle.

They’re crushing it. They’re unstoppable. It’s been 24 seconds of battle and they’ve obliterated every monster that appears. You lock eyes with their cleric, the Chosen One of your god who strayed from the light. Then you die.

brennan literally said that the ratgrinders underestimated the bad kids. they don’t know how real adventuring parties are fluid and communicative. they don’t realize that they’ve actually worked for their success, and that it wasn’t just handed to them. they’re so jealous of the bad kids that they’re blind to their genuine strength.

as funny as aguefort's "violent deranged lunatics" last stand speech was, I think it's honestly really important to the conceit of d&d in general. like you cannot start analyzing the moral and ethical quandaries of the bad kids adventures without picking the world apart entirely. it's d&d! you're supposed to grab your banker by the balls and aim a pistol at his head! you're supposed to crash a pirate ship into a building in hell! you're supposed to turn hundreds of feet tall and grab the sun out of the sky! you're supposed to be wild and outside the box and fun and reckless, because it's all imaginary. which aguefort has been preaching since literally day one.

I understand why kipperlilly is mad, I do, and gorgug's anguish after "we didn't have to study at all, we could've just done this?" is such a succinct example of it. but it's aguefort!!!!! what did you expect!!!! of course he put in a system for people to just go hogwild and win with abandon! kipperlilly has been going to the school for at least 2 years before now. and aguefort is the most powerful and insane wizard of their age. why the fuck did she expect it to be different. that's what I don't understand. she's got a vendetta against the very foundation of how aguefort runs. she was just never gonna thrive in that environment. hudol and mumple are right there kettlecook cuntclapper, transfer away. this is aguefort bitch.

a foe turned friend

prints

lucien ver.

So. How about this season so far

you got mommy issues? watch fantasy high. you got daddy issues? watch fantasy high. religious trauma? fantasy high. sibling issues? yeah you guessed it, fantasy high. oh you feel alienated from your friends cause your aro/ace? FANTASY HIGH. divorced dad having a crisis? fantasy high. sexuality crisis? watch. fantasy. high. religious crisis even? fantasy high again. suffering from the lingering effects of toxic masculinity? yeah it's fantasy high. just watch fantasy high man.