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the-caboose-be-loose · 6 years

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Loki’s flipping through a magazine when he feels it: A supernatural twinge in the spine.

Or, more accurately, the particular sound of the front door slamming shut that tells him something is off. He prefers Lars’ explanation since it makes him feel cooler, but either way he knows something’s off. Jumping out of his bed, he cricks his neck, then his hands, and strides powerfully out of his room to intercept his younger sibling. He might only be home from his second super-senior year of college for Spring Break (he changed majors a few times), but he is bound and determined to be a Big Bro for that short period back.

A body strikes him right as he steps into the hallway and he twists a bit from the force. He’s surprised, but his hand shoots out and grabs the offender’s arm as they attempt to pass. Loki hears a feminine squeal as he yanks her into his arms.

“Whoa! Linka! Where you going?” he asks while she struggles against him.

“My room! Let go!” she says, her voice hot, but oddly quiet for such an intense emotion.

“Kay,” Loki responds, releasing her with a wary eye.

She doesn't notice it as she swiftly spins and stomps to her door, but she does hesitate when she reaches her destination. Linka grips the doorknob and her hand meekly turns back and forth before she looks at her brother.

“Sorry,” she quietly says, her head drooping, then moves into her room, the door mostly closing behind her.

There was a tone in her word that Loki knows. The same type of tone as the one he heard when she slammed the front door fully closed. A tone that the best big brothers instinctively understand

He doesn't even knock before entering, because Loki might be a “best big brother” but he isn't a “best of the best” who might let privacy slow him down. Linka has a problem and he wants to fix it, or at least help however he can. The sooner she's happy, the sooner he is.

“What is it?” he demands, his arms immediately crossing. She's already facing him, prepared for his intrusion.

“Just a bad date,” Linka answers with a frown. She sits on her bed and spreads her arms to block him from sitting by her. He hadn't intended to, but he isn't surprised either.

“Really?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Then what's bothering you?”

Linka shifts her eyes about. Loki knows there's more to this than one bad date. That might be her immediate frustration, but it's not the full cause of her bad mood.

“It was just a bad date… after another bad date… and some... some other stuff.”

She wilts as she speaks and pulls her arms back to herself, hugging her elbows to her center. Loki hesitates, but then she stares at the empty space next to her for several meaningful seconds. It's the subtle confirmation he needed to take that place.

He sits and raises his arm without even looking. His sister moves under it, snuggling against him and gripping his shirt. He pulls her to him tightly, confidently. If there's one thing Loki absolutely wants her to know, it's that he will always be there for her. She hums quietly, happily, and he smiles at his success.

They stay like that for a while before she says, “More guys should be like you,” then pecks his chin affectionately.

He looks down and says, “Yeah, they sh-”

Loki’s cut off by her lips on half on his. He interrupted a second peck. At first, it's just their top lips that made contact, her lower one on his teeth. But he slowly closes his mouth, unable to continue speaking and it becomes more of a proper kiss, however accidental. He's too surprised to react. Not because it happened, but because, after the tiniest of pauses, she’s following up.

His eyes widen as he feels himself be pressed back by Linka. She whimpers and he shudders at the sudden intensity of her desire. She's serious, very serious. Probably not intentionally, but Loki realizes there was more to her wish that other guys were like him than she let on. Linka pulls away for a second, sucking in a rough gasp before she kisses him again, deep, fierce, and short.

“S-sorry,” she half-whispers, half-coughs when she finishes.

“I, uh, sure, I mean, it's okay,” he mumbles. This is a bit more to take in than he had been ready for. He was just trying to cheer her up.

Wait, cheer her up? Well, now she’s clinging tightly to him, head buried in his side as she shivers. She's not crying, but Loki can tell that's a “yet” sort of observation. She might have been in a bad mood when she got home, but he knows he’s inadvertently made everything much worse. So, yeah, he’s sort of ‘fucked things’ up more than ‘cheered her’ up.

Worse is that he doesn't know what to do to stop fucking things up. If he just stays here… well, wasn't it his presence that accidentally caused this? Loki hadn't known about her feelings, but he does now. What will staying here make her think? Still, he can't just leave. Linka would be left to wallow in despair and self-hate.

He turns, wrapping her with his other arm and moving her to his chest as he hugs her tightly, confidently. He only lessens his grip when he feels slight wetness seep into his shirt, but it's so he can stroke her hair comfortingly. He's careful about his strength while he does it, since he doesn't want her to think he's lost any of his confidence with a limp wrist.

It's a bit of an unspoken lie, but one Loki is happy to make as she hiccups quiet apologies against him. Maybe he's uncertain what exactly to do, but it's obvious Linka feels like her world is falling apart and he’ll tell whatever lie lets him be a rope out of that pit. He doesn't need to actually be at 100% for himself, just appear to be 100% for her.

“Sorry…”

It's a breathy whisper that breaks his heart. Partially from the pain in it, but mostly since he understands it's just the first time she's said it loud enough for him to hear. How many times did she say it too quiet for that? How many times did the word not even leave her mouth? How much had it hurt to try and say it the second, or third, or who knows which time, once any remaining happiness had completely faded away and only the seriousness of the matter was left in her mind?

“Shush,” Loki says, both to calm her and his own panicking brain. He notices he stopped stroking her hair and quickly rectifies that fact.

“S-sorry,” Linka repeats. “I'm sorry. It was an accident.” She half-sniffles, but her breath chokes on mucus and she coughs. Not like her earlier one, however, really more a gross hack that forces her away slightly. Loki lets her move, but he maintains his grip and pulls her back as soon as the moment passes.

“Shh, it's okay. It’s fine. It's not a big deal,” he reassures her. Another lie, but she also just called it an accident, not that he holds it against her.

“Yes it is,” she mutters in a suddenly harsh tone. “I kissed you. For real kissed you.”

Loki isn't sure if he screwed up again or if it's just how she's handling the situation. First depression, then anger, maybe at his words or maybe at her own. She's not pulling away, though, so he stops stroking her hair and hugs her again.

“Yeah…”

It's all he can really say at the moment and he hates himself for it. He's been in relationships before, been in those awkward first steps where he's made a move and is trying to understand the girl’s reaction. Is that how she feels right now? Unsure of how he's reacting?

Is he being too comforting? He just acknowledged how serious she'd been; what’ll she make of that? He doesn't want her to feel worse, but is there anything he can do to make her feel better? The questions run and flow and never stop spilling through his mind, but he steels his soul against the doubt they bring. He won't let them weaken his resolve, even as he feels their weight grow upon him.

“It was just a kiss,” Loki finally says. “It doesn't need to be a big deal.”

There's a shift in his sister, as if she's slowed for a brief period of time. Her movements are more subtle, smaller, almost like she's restricted by water. He can sense his words have hit her deeply and Loki swallows, fixating his eyes on a random part of the wall to remain steady.

“Y-y-yeah,” Linka says, a husky gasp shivering in and out as she forces the word from her lips. “No big deal…”

She's in pain, more quavering gasps escaping her as she struggles to stay stable herself. He knows he just killed whatever tiny hope she had left that this might turn around into a wonderful miracle instead of a horrible mistake. He gave her an out. He answered with “No.”

Loki maneuvers them cautiously, gradually moving so he can lay down with her firmly against him. He'll do what he can for now, even if it's just more of the same that he has been. What else can he do? He has no answers for any of those other questions, much less this one.

Linka clings to him, crying soft tears of frustration. Loki sympathizes, himself frustrated by how useless he ultimately feels despite his bravado when he first came to her. Eventually she exhausts herself into a fitful sleep, leaving him alone with his thoughts. With the fact he just unexpectedly found out his sister loves him as more than a brother.

He wonders if this really will be no big deal, if it’ll be no more than an awkward memory in the end, a minor hiccup in their relationship. He wonders what he could do when she wakes to help that happen. He wonders if what he's done so far has been the right or wrong way to handle things.

But most of all, now that she's resting, now that he needn’t worry after her, he wonders how he really feels about what she did.

#loudcest #sfw #accidental kiss #accidental confession #linka loud #loki loud

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