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#innocuous milk carton: *appears*
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Milk theory? 👁️👁️
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ANYTHING FOR YOU TWO!!!!
ok this is gonna be short and mildly insane. i would like everyone to understand that this is pretty much Entirely unfounded & i'm just reading too much into a teeny little thing. however i've convinced myself that this theory is viable against all better judgement
take these mad ramblings with a Monumental grain of salt. im not to be taken seriously ever
so it all boils down to This
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Little
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Motherfucker.
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the milk carton behind Barnaby's house.
it was added with the last large update, and it Immediately made me lose my mind. it's such a... strange thing to add to the map, which already has Teeny Secrets - along with other choice objects that make me narrow my eyes. but this isn't about them.
The very first thing I thought of when I saw the milk carton was the phrase "no use crying over spilled milk". which, of course, essentially means that there's no point in crying over things you can't change / things already done. There are a couple ways i'm interpreting it with this context
Something is going to happen that Barnaby feels personally responsible for. or is responsible for - either indirectly, or maybe he'll do something terrible. i think it's entirely possible that he might do that possible something for Wally. and again, take this with salt, but Clown has implied through trivia and fun hypotheticals that Barnaby would go to lengths for Wally. and yes, i know. taking evidence from "what would the neighbors do in Among Us" is absurd. IN MY DEFENSE! while the trivia isn't really to be taken seriously, there's always a thought process behind character roles and dynamics and behavior, and that is something that can be (carefully) looked into and applied. like in Among Us, apparently Barnaby would, and i quote, "Barnaby does all the Dirty work if Wally is an Impostor- Anything to help his little Buddy out...". anything to help his little buddy out, huh? like, it's been stated that Barnaby knows things about Wally that no one else does. and it's been mildly implied that he's fairly protective of Wally. and we all know that Wally is getting into some deep shit, and whether he means to or not he's likely gonna fuck everything up for everyone. it's not that big of a leap to speculate that Barnaby might do something drastic/horrible/regret-worthy in Wally's name / for his sake.
2. something terrible is going to happen to Barnaby / directly related to Barnaby, and he's going to be absolutely powerless to do anything about it. though i think that's kind of a given... yeah this section is pretty self explanatory
3. Barnaby is going to go missing. because what used to be on milk cartons? Missing Posters! yes yes i know this one is even more of a reach, since milk cartons didnt have missing posters on them till the 80s, but yk. it's a Thought.
my second thought was "oh ok so when the carton spills, it's curtains for Barnaby." this part of the theory is just me being paranoid that Barnaby is going to wind up kicking the bucket - though i suppose if that were the case, there would be a bucket, not milk. well, if a bucket ever appears, i'm going to start prematurely mourning. Still!
the point is - at some point, that milk is probably gonna spill. it may be just a detail as things get better Worse, or it could be indicative of something terrible happening to / because of Barnaby. the milk spills, Panic Time.
Milk Theory.
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withpromise-a · 4 years
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benefits  of  being  noah’s  friend  :
cryptic  puzzles  about  the  future
you  get  to  stare  at  his  disconcerting  /  beautiful  star-filled  eyes
he’s  very  warm  &  soft.  a  very  good  hugging  partner
always  down  for  cuddles
gentle  &  very  empathetic
but  also  he’s  very  cutting  &  terrifyingly  clever,  always  keeping  his  cards  close  to  his  chest  even  though  he  seems  open  about  his  visions  &  the  future
he  can  bake  really  well.  he’s  a  free  source  of  freshly  baked  cookies  &  treats
top-tier  babysitter  &  honourary  dad  to  many
downsides  of  being  noah’s  friend  :
cryptic  puzzles  about  the  future
never  tells  you  what’s  actually  going  on  until  it  happens
he  hides  his  true  feeling  in  the  large,  fluffy  overcoats  he  wears
capable  of  breathtaking  denseness  sometimes
his  curse  of  unluckiness  means  it’s  never  just  a  simple  day
actually  him  just  being  around  means  it’s  never  just  a  simple  day
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amymel86 · 7 years
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Strictly Professional - Chapter 9
"You're not drinking? Why aren't you drinking? San, why isn't he drinking"? Loras flustered as Jon refused an unnaturally blue coloured shot.
"I'm driving you lot home remember"? Jon shouted over the thumping base of the club music.
"Leave your car in town! We can split a taxi! Come on! Driiiink"! Loras said as he waved the toxic looking shot in front of his face. Jon just shook his head in response which caused Loras to over-exaggerate a petulant pout. Sansa was sure he may have even done a little foot stomp. "Saaaan" he whined in her direction "tell him San, you always get your own way with Jon"!
What's that meant to mean?
"Oh come on! You do"! Loras continued after taking in Sansa's look of confusion.
"Do I"? Sansa merely mused aloud to herself as she turned to look at Jon. He shrugged and smiled. Sansa leant into him to talk in his ear, he smelt of the cologne she had bought him last Christmas, but before she could speak, Margaery interrupted.
"Oh yes, you've definitely got Jonny-boy wrapped around your little finger Sansa. You even managed to force the poor lamb to do karaoke with you last year....for which, my eardrums are still blaming you for".
"Hey" Jon responded with mock-indignation. 
"Would you drink with us if I asked you to"? Sansa asked, ignoring both the Tyrells.
"Probably" he nodded "are you asking"?
Sansa searched Jon's face for a few seconds before giving a small nod. Drunk Jon, after-all, is an overly-affectionate Jon, making her laugh every time he'd not be able to keep from stroking her hair. Once, after splitting a bottle of vodka between them, he'd even attempted to braid it for her - 'attempted' being the operative word. 
"Excellent"! Loras exclaimed, clapping his hands together and dividing up the shots from the tray he'd just brought over. Jon raised a questioning eyebrow at the sheer number that was set before him. "You've got some catching up to do Man-Bun, get to it"!
  After finding an innocuous little booth to seat themselves away from the student masses, Jon, Sansa and the Tyrells continued to drink themselves silly. Jon managed to 'catch up', even when his nose wrinkled at the multicoloured shots and the pitcher of Woo-Woo that Loras brought over. Sansa tucked one of the little cocktail umbrellas behind his ear and giggled. Margeary gave the pair a look of suspicion.
It was during a conversation that she was having with Margaery about why it is perfectly acceptable to wear flats on a night out (Marg was having none of it) that Sansa suddenly yelped mid sentence as she jerked in her seat at a short sharp buzz between her legs. After closing her eyes in annoyance, she opened them to glare at Jon who was pretending to be very interested in his phone. She kicked him under the table which only made him answer her with a smirk.
"You ok darling"? Marg slurred.
"I'm fine" she waved her friend off. The vibrations started again, but this time they were low and yet somehow powerful. Sansa hated Jon right then because all her body wanted to do was rock and grind down on that grubby club seating to chase an orgasm. She was sure that her face had gone through a few different shades of red by now.
"Anyway, all I'm saying is with pins like yours, you really should show them off more Sans - I know you like your cute little ballet flats, but honestly? You look like every guy's wet dream in killer heels".
"But after an hour of wearing them, I want to gnaw my own feet o-....o-off". The low hum had started to pulsate against her clit in wickedly delightful waves.
Jon! Why are you doing this to me?!
Sansa reached into her clutch bag to retrieve her own phone before opening the toy's app and turning the thing off herself. She missed the vibrations almost instantly. Sansa gave Jon a glare of defiance and held his gaze as she slung her phone back in her bag. Jon snorted softly.
Jon didn't try anything again until Sansa and the Tyrells had practically dragged him to the dance floor. Dancing was definitely not Jon Snow's 'thing' but she was always able to coax some reluctant swaying out of him.
Maybe I do always get my own way?
It was perhaps during the third song (or maybe it was the fourth or fifth, Sansa was too drunk to notice) that the creeps started appearing. After she pulled a displeased face at the third random stranger to come up behind her to dance and paw and grind, Jon hooked his arm about her waist and pulled her firmly to his body. He shot the guy chancing his luck with her a deathly glare which incited a hasty retreat.
"You didn't need to do that" she said into the shell of his ear.
"He was all over you".
"Yes, but I'm used to it".
"You shouldn't be" Jon growled into her hair, making her shiver. "Do you want to go home"?
Sansa shook her head "No, just dance with me, no one will approach me if they think I'm with you". She felt him nod at her request.
With her arms twined around the back of his neck, and her face buried into the side of it, a very drunk Sansa giggled into Jon's skin.
"What's so funny"? he asked.
"I can feel your hard on" she hiccuped. Jon stilled all movement and Sansa supposed it was due to some embarrassment he might be feeling, so she squeezed her arms tighter around his shoulders and pecked a soft kiss on the scruff of his jaw. Jon gradually relaxed and began their dance again as the thump of the base reverberated through their bodies.
"So you don't mind that then"? Jon asked after a little while. Sansa shrugged. "Do you mind this"? he said teasingly, at precisely the same time that the vibrations started up a low buzz against her. She hadn't even noticed him reach in his pocket for his phone, but apparently, he had.
"What are you up to"? she laughed, rearing back to look him in the eye. He wore a wicked grin that made Sansa's tummy do a little flip.
Or is that the alcohol?
"I told you San. Product testing" he smirked.
As the songs went on, Jon continued to play with the settings of the toy, each new pattern of vibration transitioning into the next, working Sansa up to the point where she was grinding against the thigh Jon had pressed between her legs. They had somehow managed to move away from the centre of the dance floor to be close to the back wall, furthest away from the DJ's station. It wasn't as crowded as where they had been before and they'd thankfully lost both the Tyrells in the process of their gradual migration.
"Jon" Sansa whimpered, clutching onto him tightly and hiding her face in his neck "Jon, I can't cum in public" she pleaded. The current pulsations against her performing their own delectable dance that was rapidly building to a finale.
"Don't worry, I've got you" he responded huskily, moving his hand round to the small of Sansa's back, giving her gentle pushes to urge her to continue rocking against him. "No one can see you. No one knows. Just us". Sansa whimpered again once he'd upped the intensity of the setting the toy was on. "Cum for me Sansa" he growled into her ear, his hand slipping down to grasp her ass and pull her even tighter towards him.
And that was it. She was gone. Jon held her firmly as she buried herself into him and rode out the aftershocks of her orgasm.
"Come on lets go, my feet are killing me"! Margaery suddenly called out as she appeared out of nowhere and tapped Jon on the shoulder. Sansa leapt from Jon's arms instantly causing Margaery to study them both curiously. "Are you alright Sans? You look....flustered....have you been crying"? she slurred.
"No, no, I'm fine" Sansa said, plastering a smile across her face and nodding enthusiastically.
Margaery continued to scrutinise the both of them until she shrugged, stumbled in her heels slightly and turned to leave. "Are you coming"? she called over her shoulder.
Jon snickered as he followed Loras and the girls toward's the club's exit.
  After spending far too long trying to insert the key into the lock and missing almost every time, Jon and Sansa tumbled through the door to their apartment, clinging to each other for stability.
"I cannot believe you did that to me" Sansa laughed.
"All in the name of product testing Sans".
"Bollocks, you loved it" she waved dismissively, stumbling into the kitchen to open the fridge and swig some milk straight from the carton "you got a hard on from having all that power in your hands" she said between sips. Jon flushed red and swallowed.
"We have glasses you know" Jon said deflectively, rubbing the back of his neck. Sansa shrugged and disappeared back into the fridge. "So, uh...what's with the other thing you got sent"? he mumbled, gesturing towards the Naughty Girl Beginners Bondage Kit that was left on the kitchen table. Sansa's face emerged from within the refrigerator, stuffing her mouth with a chunk of cheese.
"Oh yeah"! she exclaimed excitedly through her chewing as she moved over to get a better look at the kit. Jon rolled his eyes as he shut the fridge door that Sansa had left open.
They opened the box and examined it's contents together with curious laughter.
"So what about it Jon"? she asked before putting on an exaggerated husky voice "have I been a bad, bad girl who needs a little punishment"? she purred, playing with the tassels of the flogger. Jon licked his lips before letting out a shaky laugh. "Come on! Tie me to something" Sansa exclaimed excitedly, waving the strips of black silk in her hand.
"You want me to tie you up"? Jon said disbelievingly.
"Yeah, it'll be funny." Sansa started "....unless....you want me to tie you up"? she teased.
Jon furrowed his brow in what looked like hesitant thought "Neither of us have headboards on our beds".
Sansa tapped the small spanking paddle against her lips gently in thought. "The table".
"The table"?
"Tie me to the table".
"How exactly"? He said, looking at the item of furniture in question.
Sansa moved to place one heeled foot next to the leg of her antique oak kitchen table. "Tie my ankle to the table leg here" she said, pointing downwards and then handing Jon the bundle of silk ties. She parted her legs, planting her other foot next to another table leg "and tie my other ankle here", Sansa then pressed her wrists together behind her back and bent over the table-top, feeling the cool of the smoothed, well-worn grain against her cheek "and then tie my hands together behind my back". Sansa turned her head to look back at Jon who was staring at her with a slightly shocked expression. His eyes travelled her body bent over the table. She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed thickly.
"And then what"? he said hoarsely.
"And then you spank me" she giggled before wiggling her bottom.
"Uh..." he said, staring a little too long at her rear "...are you sure"?
"I thought you were all for 'Product Testing' Jon"? Sansa teased, moving her arms so that her elbow rested on the table and her chin was cradled in her palm as she looked a slightly nervous Jon up and down. He licked his lips absentmindedly.
"If you're sure"?
Sansa reached for the discarded lacy blindfold that came with the kit. It looked a little like a sleeping mask, except it tied at the back of her head with strips of black silk just like the bindings for wrists and ankles. She placed it over her eyes and secured it behind her head, plunging her world into darkness. Somehow, this made her more aware of the patter of her heart against the wood beneath her. "I'm sure Jon" she said to the dark. 
There was a pause and Sansa thought that perhaps Jon might refuse to play this game. Suddenly, there was a warm hand on the small of her back, Sansa's loss of sight making his touch feel like a searing brand through the fabric of her dress. "You definitely don't mind this"?
"I don't mind Jon" Sansa replied, bringing her wrists back together behind herself so that he could bind them together.
After that, Sansa felt Jon drop to stoop and bind her ankles to the table legs, his breath was coasting across the backs of her thighs, making her shiver. Sansa tested the bindings as Jon stood, trying to tug her legs away from the table - they were very secure. It was an odd feeling, on the one hand, she felt rather exposed, her legs splayed and bent over the table, her dress riding up her thighs slightly and her eyes sightless. She felt vulnerable. But not scared, she would never feel scared with Jon. If anything, she was excited.
"So...uh... what now"? she heard him say.
"I don't know Jon" she purred, the alcohol in her bloodstream making her feel bold  "how should you punish me"?
There was some shuffling behind her before she felt what she supposed was the paddle smoothing down the curve of her arse cheek. "You want this"? Jon breathed.
"Yes" she wiggled in anticipation.
Smack
The first tap over the fabric of her dress stung a little and made Sansa yelp before giggling. 
"Lift my dress" she laughed. 
There was another pause before Sansa felt Jon's warm hand skim up her thigh, hook under the hem of her dress and drag it up to expose her in her black lace underwear.
"Fuck, you're so hot" Jon said breathlessly, making Sansa laugh. "Shit" he cursed "I said that out loud didn't I"?
"Yes, you did" she said, muffling her laughter into the wood of the table.
Smack
Sansa gasped.
"It's rude to laugh you know" Jon said before Sansa felt him lean over her, his next words ghosting over her ear "very.....disobedient of you" he growled.
A groan escaped Sansa's lips as she tried to rub her thighs together, failing due to how they were parted and tethered to the table. Jon struck her bum a few more times with the paddle, each tap making her gasp and then hum pleasantly. 
When she felt the tassels of the flogger gently tickling her arse, she couldn't help wiggling in anticipation or how her breathing became sharper, the heat of her breath coming back to her as it bounced off the table top. 
"You like this don't you"? Jon rasped behind her. Sansa whimpered and nodded in agreement. "I had no idea you were such a-"
Smack
"-naughty girl".
"Jon" she whined, wriggling against her bindings.
"Do you want to stop"?
"No" she whispered.
Sansa felt the tingle all over the skin of her cheeks after a few goes with the flogger. She gasped and whimpered with each kiss of the toy's tassels, but she never stopped him. And God! - she was horny now. The loss of one of her senses only served to heighten her others - the sting of her skin, the roughness of Jon's voice and the smell of his cologne and the need, the overwhelming need to be satisfied. 
"Jon"? she started.
I can't believe I'm going to ask this.
"Don't read too much into this-"
'Don't read too much into this?' There's a whole 'War and Peace' worth of stuff he could read into this!
"But-"
"But"? Jon urged, smoothing his hand on what Sansa suspects is thoroughly pink skin.
"But... I'm really horny now....can you...uh..."
"Do something about it"? Jon provided.
"Yes" she breathed.
"Well....you're still wearing that toy" he stated "....or..." he said, pushing his obvious hardness against her.
Sansa whined and pushed back against him as much as she could "Yes - that" she whispered before licking her lips.
"You're definitely sure" he said, rolling his hips against her.
"Please Jon" Sansa whined, before adding "it's 'product testing'".
The shuffling behind her that Sansa supposed was Jon ridding himself of his clothing stilled momentarily "Yeah....product testing" he agreed, before Sansa heard his belt buckle clinging.
Jon reached into her panties from behind to remove the toy, making her gasp before he pushed her underwear as far down her thighs as they would go. She felt him start to smooth his warm hands all over her arse as the head of his cock nudged at her slick folds.
"Fucking hell Sansa" he rasped "you're so wet".
"Mmmm" she hummed "Oh"
With one slow thrust, he pushed into her, filling her completely before holding himself still. Both their breathing was already ragged without any exertion. It sounded loud to Sansa as it echoed in her head. Jon began moving in and out of her deliberately slowly at first, gripping onto her hips.
"Who was that guy you were dancing with in the club Sansa"? he growled unexpectedly.
Where is this coming from?
"Ramsey" Sansa replied, Jon's increased thrusting jostling her against the table.
"From your work? You liked him touching you"? 
"No" she whimpered.
"Then why"? he asked, his breath starting to come out in pants as he started to pound into her.
"I was...ahh!...Being polite...".
"But you didn't like him touching you"?
"No...oh God Jon"!
"Do you like me touching you"? he growled as he continued his thrusts, their flesh slapping together.
"Yes"! she moaned "please, Jon".
With that, he leant forwards to hook his hands under through her arms and lifting her up off the table slightly by her shoulders. The new angle and how he held Sansa firm against his thrusting felt powerful and primal. 
"Mmmm...harder Jon" Sansa moaned.
Jon responded eagerly to her command and, in the renewed force of his thrust, the table gave a few deafening screeches as the legs scraped across the tiled kitchen floor. Jon stilled. Sansa laughed.
"Maybe not that hard" she giggled "I would like to keep Grandma Tully's table in one piece".
"Yeah....Can we not mention Granny Tully right now"?
"What's wrong with Granny"? Sansa asked, blindly trying to turn her head towards him.
"Ordinarily? Nothing. Whilst I'm balls-deep in her granddaughter? Everything".
There was a one second pause before Sansa near collapsed into a fit of giggles. Jon gently dropped the upper half of her body back down to the table-top and slipped out of her with a groan. "Did-" she started, through her laughter "did you just say balls-dee-" her words were cut off by a sharp intake of breath at the sensation of a warm, wet tongue against her centre and the scratch of beard against her inner thigh. "Oh"!
"Is this alright"? Jon breathed against the crease where her arse becomes her leg. The sensation making her shiver.
"Y-yes".
Sansa felt Jon give the back of her thigh a soft kiss before he licked at her skin, making a trail back to his intended destination.
Jon swiped the flat of his tongue up through her as Sansa felt the nervous pit of energy in her gut began to be filled with pleasure. This was much more intimate than their previous actions, but oh God - did it feel good.
Jon groaned as he lapped at her, pushing his tongue through her flesh and reaching forward to swipe across her sensitive clit before licking up to push inside her. The sensation only amplified by Sansa's loss of sight.
"Oh god"! She moaned into the table at the obscenity of Jon's open mouthed hot breath twinned with the way his tongue worked to taste at her most intimate areas. 
He moves away momentarily and Sansa misses his mouth instantly. "Fuck, Sansa" he curses before enthusiastically delving back in, his hot wet tongue reaching forwards again to swipe side to side against her pearl, back and forth, and back and forth, coaxing out Sansa's breaths in pants and moans accompanied by Jon's own ragged breathing and outrageously wet lapping noises.
Sansa's sure that her silky ankle bindings are the only reason she's still somewhat upright because her legs want to buckle at the sensations he's giving her. She should feel embarrassed or ashamed, she distantly thinks. Jon, her best friend, the person who makes her chicken soup when she's ill, is aware of which brand of deodorant she prefers and actually takes note of when her period is due so he can buy her favourite chocolate, currently has half his face pressed firmly to her pussy. 
"Oh fuck! That feels good" Sansa breathed. Jon let out a muffled groan in response before smoothing his hands up over the round flesh of her behind, sinking his fingers into it and then giving one cheek a sharp spank. Sansa squealed at the contact to her already slightly stinging skin - she's sure that her whole bum must be rather bright pink by now. Jon's hands began to skim and stroke warm trails up and down the length of her legs, making her feel like a pampered purring pussycat.
It doesn't take long before she can feel it building, like when a roller-coaster is slowly ascending the tallest of drops and the anticipation of the feeling of free-falling is both pleasurable and terrifying. Jon was taking her there. He was taking her there as his mouth was making relentless patterns on her and his beard was scratching her inner thighs. He was taking her there by how lost in her own pleasure Jon seemed to be himself, panting and groaning along with her as he hungrily gave into his tasting. Sansa wondered of he was touching himself as he licked and suckled at her, which, it seemed, only served to move that rollar-coaster along towards the crest of the peak all the more quickly.
"Jon I'm gonna cum" she whimpered. Jon growled into Sansa's cunt and began kneading her ass as he increased the tempo of his ministrations. "Oh GOD! Uhh....Jon...FUCK"! Sansa panted 
And then she fell.
She fell from a great height, feeling the pleasurable tingle through her skin like the rush of air at a fast descent. Only she never collided with the ground, never felt a painful impact, she only glided as the roller-coaster slowly evened out, easing her back down from her high.
Sansa's pulse raced and pattered as her heart thumped against the aged grain of the wooden table. Her body was sated and numb, she felt as if she was without breath and bones - like some sort of sexually satisfied blancmange. If she wasn't so thoroughly wrung out, Sansa might distantly acknowledge that 'blancmange' was a weird word.
"That....that was....oh fuck....Jesus Christ"! Sansa exclaimed breathlessly.
"Just 'Jon' will do" he said as he stood up behind her.
"I'm too numb right now to make fun of your lame jokes".
"Numb-good, or?...."
"Numb-fucking-fantastic....you are..." she paused to pant and lick her lips "yeah, you're bloody good at that to be honest".
Sansa could practically feel the pride travel off of him in waves as she imagined his smug face behind her. She felt his hands start to smooth over her curves and his cock nudge at the back of her thigh and then her wet folds. "Can I"? she heard him ask.
"Jon, you've just given me an award-winning orgasm - you can do whatever you want with me at this point".
  After, once a very sweaty and sated Jon had collapsed onto her, Sansa listened to his panting into her skin and felt his erratic heart thump against her back.  Jon slipped out of her with a groan aimed between her shoulder-blades, which somehow made her giggle.
"Jon, you're crushing my hands" she said, referring to her still bound wrists currently sandwiched between them both.
"Oh...sorry".
Sansa blinked rapidly as she removed the lacy blindfold after Jon had freed her wrists. She flushed with a tinge of embarrassment when Jon was knelt down to untie her ankles to free her from the table.
Oh god! He's getting such an eyeful right now, Sansa thought as she felt the slow trickle of cum wet one of her thighs. 
"Oh shit" Sansa exclaimed once she'd straightened up and shook the stiffness out of her legs "so that's what that knocking sound was" she said, gesturing to the fact that the table had moved all the way across the kitchen floor and was now completely butted up against the cupboards beneath the counter top.
"I'll send Granny Tully a fruit basket or something" Jon shrugged with a smirk. Sansa laughed so hard, she snorted as she pulled her underwear back up.
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