#imagine pissing off the god who is literally the embodiment of neutrality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mythtiide · 1 year

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Sending this ask as an invite to let you ramble about tlo as much as you want about whatever you want cause honestly same i have been thinking about this game again too 🙏🙏

YEAHHHHH im going to do the easiest bit and do character personalities (or at least what i think their personalities are lol)

this got. so fucking long i started with undying and started pulling from the game and went like “oh i should do that for the other characters so i dont look so biased” and now we have this monstrosity. For the love of god please help me

undying

starting off strong! just like this guy . He’s a bit of an embodiement of hourglass’s near worst traits, hes his pettiness and hot headedness rolled up into a separate entity for him to deal with.

LIKE ok . i feel like im slandering him to high heaven BUT HEAR ME OUT his entire vibes are overwhelmingly violent, even down to his mechanics. Unlike Pandora’s unpredictability theres an added layer of terror to him. Predator and Prey are a strong theme in TLO2R, and Undying really really really rides that theme home. Hes a man in hot pursuit of you, and he is IN YOUR FACE ABOUT IT!!! Hes almost ??? feral?? about it?? his horror is the exact opposite direction of pandora, hes human shaped and he used to be human but theres something so so so WRONG with how he looks, there is NO shred of humanity in his eyes! Like, if undying wasnt stopped by his bad eyesight tlo wouldve been way shorter lmao

pandora

pandora is a funny girl because like i said shes a little bit of a more neutral party. Obviously shes on the bad guy side but unlike undying shes Literally Just Vibing. Shes not actively searching for you, sort of just bumbling around the house and getting flashbanged.

While she’s a character that relies a bit more on gore to be scary (i will say scenes where she gets in your face never fail to make me jump) shes not without unsettlingness that looking at a dead person makes you feel. Like i said in undyings paragraph, Pandoras horror comes from her looking far too human. Unlike undying, its quite easy to imagine what she looked like probably just a few hours before the gameplay started, also unlike undying we get to see her in the process of being sacrificed. It adds an uncomfortable humanity to her, Its actually quite sad now that in really thinking abut it.

cult

i dont really have too much for cult, other than that hes a cruel and twisted little man. Hes also a bit of a suck up to hourglass, hes like his lapdog or whatever.

Cults phone calls sound mildly like hes bragging and so freaking confident that this hour’ll be your last! and while he was right its still kinda funny. His language is flowery and lax at the start, hell maybe this isnt the first time he’s seen the wrath of Hourglass. He gets more fustrated as time goes on, like no!!! this wasn’t supposed to happen! Hw knows its a waiting game but it pisses him off all the while. I guess most of his words were meant to rile mc up. Scare him enough that he’ll slip up, fail to stifle his breathing, misremember the amount of knocks so that they’ll finally fucking die!!!!

hourglass

the big bad himself. My interpretation isnt really too different from cannon, hes a twisted guy who’ll trample anyone that stands in his way. Hes got no qualms for killing and he wants absolute devotion from his followers. Killing anyone who wants otherwise. Cult may seem like a perfect follower in his eyes, a man that screams his praises of him to high heavens and low hells, his devotion unmatched to any regular cultist, none of THOSE chums would take the time to climb up into a balcony, knock a few times, climb down, walk around and into the building to take an elevator to mcs floor, knock on the door then rinse and repeat! he wants to be revered and respected for his power, rule the world with a clawed iron fist.

This is a silly headcannon but i imagine that because of his craving for respect and undying being himself (see: above) the two have a bit of power struggle going on. They both wanna be in charge at the same time and end up fighting because of it. Maybe thats how Undying got locked into lvl 2 pirate caverns. He got grounded

thats just his name. to me. obviously i really dont have much as theyre not so much a proper character an moreso a vessel for you to project on. so this ones gonna be short lol

I imagine that hes having a mix of feelings that’s being dulled from adrenaline. Mainly guilt and fear though. Mc was probably looking for a place to belong, or to have some sort of higher purpose. Instead he ended up as demon chow :’( The false hope at the end is all too real, and you can almost feel the way their stomach drops when he sees cult outside the door, and the sound of it dropping even lower at the sight of Hourglass overall, this guys just having the absolute worst wednesday night of his life

#fnati #i added a bit of dividers so hopefully it doesnt look like a massive block of text #alpaca you have unleashed incredible amounts of horrors #asks

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letscuttothefeeling · 4 years

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season three episode two

Before we get into the intricacies of this subpar episode, I want you to close your eyes, inhale, and reflect: is the guy you’re dating your boyfriend, or is he a father figure to you? Think about it. Now let’s cut to the feeling.

I don’t know about you, but seeing a groggy Old Man Ish clumsily lumber around in a backwards hat and a short-sleeved gorilla tee while holding his morning coffee made me immediately sick. And I’m just watching it on TV. Imagine being Madisson and waking up to that. Like, yes, this show is my sole will to live, but even I can’t stomach this. It really can’t get worse. Oh my God. Ish just described Brandon as “agro.” It did get worse.

Thank god Ish is finally off my screen and I’m back to looking at G baby and BG. Appetite restored. Jared’s also there, so I’m unable to entirely recover from the Ish debacle, but I guess this is the best I can hope for. And may I just add that I am absolutely loving this playful “boys” scene? Seeing the guys boolin with their goon squad is bringing the vibes up big time. BG doesn’t even seem upset about Dadisson – in fact, he begins talking about a potential budding romance with Amanda! And just like that, we’re back on track.

Strap in. The scene I’ve been waiting for. Dadisson’s reveal to her actual, biological father. Fade in. Jon, Madisson’s bio dad, is seated outside at a cute restaurant, completely unaware of the bomb that is about to explode in his face. As he looks up and sees his daughter walking over with her former producer, you can see the confusion setting in. Wait, what? Why is my youngest daughter walking in with Ish, the show’s old producer? Isn’t she supposed to be introducing me to her boyfriend? Oh, no . . . I think at that point, Jon must know, but he’s remaining willfully ignorant for as long as possible. And I get that, Jon. I do.

Ish has this special oafish trudge that seriously makes him look like some sort of ogre and I am absolutely living for it. When the lovebirds take their seats, a dark cloud rolls over the Key. Reality sets in. Madisson starts telling her real father about her new Daddy, and my heart is racing. After establishing their respective ages, Jon takes a deep breath and calmly asks the most uncomfortable question your Dad could ever ask you about your boyfriend: “Is he a father figure to you?”

Let’s decompress. This has to be one of the rawest scenes on reality TV, so pour one out for Jon, who at this point was undoubtedly racking his brain trying to recall the exact moment he fucked Madisson up so badly that she now actively chooses to bang 50-year olds. I feel bad for you, Jon. Back to the show.

Madisson is crying, Jon is reeling over his mistakes, and Ish is trying to defend his relationship. As for me, I have one question: could Siesta Key have provided these poor souls with drinks before forcing them to do this on camera?

After that cringey scene, I’m more than happy to watch Amanda and BG have a SPICY meetuppé. Unfortunately, Amanda begins serving me really strange vibes and I’m kind of scared of her. There’s too much licking involved on this date and I’m not interested. Let’s cut to the next scene, where Madisson and Brandon meet to hopefully get closure.

Finally, we get a glimpse of the breakuppé timeline! If you remember correctly, Season 2 ended with us thinking we’d get a glorious Bradisson reunion in Season 3. Alas, we have Dadisson instead. Please don’t misconstrue this as a complaint, because it’s very far from that. I’m just a little confused as to how Dadisson came about, and apparently, so is BG. Madisson explains that after she moved to LA, she no longer felt connected to Brandon. Two months after breaking things off, she began taking to Ish. Brandon isn’t buying it. He’s convinced their relationship has been brewing for some time. Personally, I believe her. She’s never lied and I think Brandon is projecting his own issues onto Madisson. Thoughts?

Lots of tough conversations today – now we’re at Cara’s waiting anxiously for her to drop the news we all knew was coming from the moment she started dating Garrett. That she wants to break up. I think now is as good a time as any to unpack Garrett’s love life. Garrett. Get it together. The whole “hot but stupid” narrative is something the producers are pushing . . . right? You cannot possibly be this idiotic IRL. But love is blinding, I guess. Garrett was cheated on by Kelsey (with Alex), used by Juliette to make someone jealous (Alex), and used by Cara to piss off Kelsey and Juliette (and Alex.) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, and you can call me Garrett Miller.

Okay, time for Kelsey and Juliette’s housewarming / rosé party! That had to be the whitest sentence I’ve ever written. The party begins and everyone seems to be in good spirits. Side note – I really applaud the film crew for catching everything that they do. They even got a short clip of Garrett having difficulty opening the front door and included it to perpetuate the very true belief that Garrett is actually a failed artificial intelligence robot project gone wrong.

Chloe arrives with a shot ski, but “Con Artist” Robby has to one-up her by bringing a TV. She’s convinced he’s bringing it to make up for how small his dick is. Boys, you heard it here first – don’t even THINK about bringing a TV to a party unless you want everyone to know how small your penis is! Madisson’s not even paying attention to Boring Robby’s embarrassing genital blunder because she’s too busy eyeing Amanda and Brandon. She even has the audacity to whisper, “I just hope he has the best intentions.” Right, because Ish definitely has the best intentions with you. Okay, Madisson.

Notably missing from the soirée is Cara and my new favorite cast member, Victoria. Kelsey obviously vetoed Cara’s invite, so C and V decided to get a romantic relaxing beachside massage instead. Cara begins explaining that she’s only stringing Garrett along because he functions as her safety net. Meanwhile, at the party, Juliette is having to spell this out to simple Garrett. He looks glum. Suddenly, Garrett’s “unhappy hour” t-shirt seems much more fitting.

Chloe and Amanda are in a corner, and shocker, they’re talking shit about Juliette and Robby. Juliette overhears, confronts them, and tensions rise. Chloe and Juliette step outside to discuss it further, and it becomes very apparent to me that Juliette is utterly plastered. Chloe is basically sober. What could go wrong?

Everything! Chloe starts off by asking Juliette what she thinks about their friendship. Obviously, these two have a sordid past, but Juliette is literally too blackout to articulate anything, so Chloe’s immediately won this before it even really begins. Towards the end of the conversation, Juliette starts wagging her finger in Chloe’s face. Chloe slaps it away, so naturally, Juliette retaliates by PUNCHING HER IN THE HEAD. Juliette, I love you, and I’m normally on your side, but this is just not a good lewk. Chloe is straight chilling while Juliette attempts to rip out her extensions. So of course, Chloe looks like the normal one, and Juliette looks like she’s on The Bad Girls Club instead of Siesta Key. Hopefully, she’ll learn a lesson from this, because violence is never the answer!

Unfortunately, Juliette doesn’t learn that lesson! As soon as Amanda steps in to break up the fight, Juliette also tries to hit her. She also can’t understand why Amanda is being so harsh when Amanda was the one who punched Chloe in the face and broke her nose two years ago. Which I feel like is valid! Everyone is screaming, running around and fighting. Genuine chaos. Anarchy. The only person there who is remaining calm is Brandon. He is quite literally the human embodiment of Switzerland. Immediately I’m reminded of that part in Twilight’s third book, Eclipse, when Bella is forced to be the voice of reason and soothe the tensions between vampire Edward and werewolf Jacob. In order to fight the vampire army that Victoria’s newborn lover has created, the vampires and werewolves must put aside their inherent differences and join forces. If not, they could totally ravage Seattle, travel to the quaint town of Forks, and potentially eat Police Chief Charlie Swan!! By becoming a neutral Switzerland, Bella narrowly avoids this horrific fate. Like Bella, Brandon remains neutral in a time of utter disaster. Thanks, Brandon. But more importantly, thank YOU, Stephanie Meyer.

Kelsey swiftly removes everyone from her home and starts looking for Amanda’s lost phone while Boring Robby hugs Juliette and tries to make her feel better about being the worst. And Kelsey standing around in the background after having to forcibly remove all her friends from her property while her roommate makes out with her boyfriend is such a vibe.

After Cara comes to the rescue to pickuppé the stranded party guests, the episode ends. Overall, I was pretty unhappy with this episode, but I feel that it was a necessary step to get us back in the right direction. I just miss Alex. He needs to return from Europe immediately. I’m tired of all of this girl drama and I want Boring Robby to become Interesting Robby. The next episode seems promising – but we’ll have to wait and see.

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