Something I hate is when you give someone your user and it's a letter off bcs stupid auto correct.

For example,

Asstronomically instead of asstronomicaly.

One letter off

FML.

I've lost my will to live

Officially introducing the official welcome home au for this blog (I make too many aus for my own good oml-)

It's called Wally and Home swap heehee- here have this worse version of a traditional doodle I drew last night but it's digital-

stomach stay hurting rn

My tutor gave me homework 👍

the writers block i have is actually insane. i haven’t been able to write/ finish anything for the past week 😭 i have like 7 drafts that are incomplete bc i don’t know how to finish them or how to continue them </3 and to top it all off i have an end of the year exam for tech tmr i HAVE to pass. literally gonna kms bro

Bro im like haunted by simon from cry of fear cause every Colin design i see FUCKIN LOOKS LIKE HIM no offense. Ima cosplay him soon and i swear if i need up lookin like him im kms/j

i can not get a tadc fictive please istg if i get that green gummy lizard as a fictive ima kms/j/nsrs

I didn’t wanna keep venting on here but I wanna let this outtt. And I don’t have therapy for another week. And also he’s a man so I feel it’s still a little weird to complain to a man about.. men😭 he validates me tho. But still weird

I’m so tired of theseeee mennnnnn. I’m just tired of men winning when all it seems in life is that a man won somehow. Some way. What triggered this, at least this rant, is my one guy coworker. His name is KM. KM is a cutie patootie I can’t lie. Just this quiet big bear cuddly guy. He’s so sweet and will stay longer if you need him to, doesn’t complain ever. Just vibes and loves his sugary drinks (I get scared for his health). He honestly just reminds you of that quiet nerdy kind guy you went to hs with who loves playing video games, that familiarity and warmth. But he’s pretty slow in his movements. And careless. Idk if he’s slow mentally but that’s what it seems to be, and that’s not even me being mean. It’s just observation. I’m slow in my movements too at times! But he’s like turtle slow. Another guy is like that too. KG, but he’s legitimately diagnosed on the spectrum. He’s also a gentle giant. I love our talks. I love them both as ppl, but they’re still men (I would love to have them as close friends) but at the end of the day in the way that they’re not inherently considerate or socially aware, or care enough to be socially aware the way women are conditioned to be. You gotta be on top of both of them to get things done, like a mother having to stay on top of her children every five seconds and having to constantly remind them what to do.

So with KM, he got partner of the quarter. Meaning he gets recognized in that way of outstanding type behavior and an extra $75 in his check. And my one manager…. I don’t wanna name him, I’ll call him J. Is such a passive man. Gay man. Hispanic, pushing 50 but acts younger than me. He reminds me of my old manager at my city job. But at least the manager at the city job was more of my mentor and would let me vent and cry to him. But he was sex obsessed and made me scared of the idea if I ever was a man around him…. But J loves trying to get my validation and reactions in any ways he can. “What do you think about these pants?” “What do you think about these shoes?” “I cooked this for dinner it was so good, aren’t you proud of me?” Or if I say I like something, that next shift usually he’ll be like “I bought this!/ I wanna buy this” he’s too much. But he drops to me last shift “KM won partner of the quarter!! It was neck and neck between you two” and then drops this shift “kmmmm partner of the quarter!” In front of me. And before I leave goes something like “aw km you’re the best…this is why I picked you for partner of the quarter” to him. Bc he knows ima be like “oooohhh word?” Like ….. and then J’s explanation is “well the reason I picked him is bc he never calls out…..you’ll get it next quarter tho” …. BC I CALLED OUT FOR STEVE WILKOS??? And some other times but like cmon. And literally got coverage for it. Okay. So I’m like you know what? Maybe Mr partner of the quarter doesn’t need my help as much when I want to go and help. I always try to be considerate and do small things to make life easier for my coworkers. But then I get told “that’s nice but stay in your station” so you know what!! Ima stay my ass right there. Right where I’m designated. That’s fine.

Whether it’s having to pick up the slack of him and KG or even the guys at my other job, I’m tired of babysitting GROWN MEN! Guys who are forgetful, have mental setbacks or just careless and take advantage that they won’t get fired if they do below the bare minimum. And I find myself overextending and overly looking out for people to make their lives easier… and for what? To still have a man preferred over me in some capacity? To not have the same consideration back? Or not even that back, I don’t do to get in return generally. But not even some form of acknowledgment? After a while, it’s too discouraging. It’s having to use discernment of doing things out of the goodness of your heart, vs bending over backwards and people pleasing. Overly exerting your energy where it’s not needed. Walking the line yet again. Balance.

It feels like men always win even by doing the least. Even with women. All the girls in my past except my last ex always went to a guy after or there was always a guy in the wings waiting for her. That wound is a mf bro. There is just always a guy. Or a masculine presence at the least, she goes to. Whoever “she” is (“she” is generalized). I’m just tired bro. I noticed with myself, once I start outgrowing a job and the universe is like okayyyy you learned all you could learn it’s time to move on! And I stay a little longer, I start despising everything and everyone. I’m more pessimistic. I’m more short tempered and defensive and meaner. I don’t care to hold a conversation with anyone not even close coworkers. I’m not as upbeat as I once was when I start outgrowing a job or situation. I just feel and vibrate lower than I should, lower than I should ever allow myself to be at. And that’s just a common thing that happens to every person alive! But to me bc I experience firsthand I’m like okay….. this is why people get grumpy and bitter. But I can’t become that. Only for a little bit tho! Become that to learn the lesson— I feel like I have to become what I hate even for just a little bit to know I don’t wanna become that permanently— then get out before it’s too late and make your journey back to your core beauty. More mature beauty you come out from the other side, the other side of not knowing and then the in-between split state of being.

the only marked for laters i have left are 100,000+ and i leave for camp in like 2 days

ima kms/j

hi im a dumbass bitch  and i just rebloged  a post about a character named otto thinking it was itto from genshin impact

B I love you but delete that fucking tiktok link it else ima have a mental breakdown /j 😭😭😭 fuck Halloween 😔😔😔

LMFAOOO i just watched it on repeat like over and over and over listened to the mitski in the background and just stared i stg i am going to kms

Short Tenure on LOC --- Jaurian Sector ( J & K )

       I reached Jammu railway station on a winter morning in mid Dec 1982. It took some time, before I could locate the reception party sent by my Regiment. As expected, I was welcomed with hot tea & pakodas, as per the customs of the Jat Balwans. We then left in a convoy for Jaurian ( famous for Battle of Chamb - Jaurian both during the 1965 War & 1971 War ). Incidentally, this area is bounded by the Kalidhar Range in the North & Chenab river in the South. The Sector is in close proximity to Akhnoor and the famous Chenab bridge. It was interesting to observe enroute, the area of operations of two previous wars, which we had studied during campaign studies at IMA.

       On arrival in the Unit, I freshened up after the long journey from Pune & reported in combat dress to Lt Col Jagir Singh, Tiger 98 !! He had the reputation of being very strict with a stern persona. However, he was also known for his genial approach for finding solutions to any problems. He  welcomed me back home into the Jat Balwan family. He commended my contribution during the successive instructional tenures at School of Artillery & the NDA. He informed me about the recent Move Order by which the Regiment had been ordered to move to Dhrangadhra, about 120 km from Ahmedabad. I was then instructed to proceed next day for area familiarisation along the LOC, which would prove useful for me in the long run. His prophecy proved to be true when I  returned to J & K for even more challenging experiences, during two different tenures, in different sectors later in my career.

           In the evening, I was invited for the Dining - In party in the Officers Mess, where I was pleasantly surprised to be promoted as a Major. I was so happy to get my third promotion in the Regiment, in a similar manner as the previous promotions as a Lieutenant & a Captain. I was appointed as the Battery Commander of Papa Battery next morning. The CO gave me a detailed briefing about role of our Regiment in support of the affiliated Infantry Brigade & outline plan of deployment in the Brigade Sector. Thereafter, I left with my BC Party, Survey party & Quick Reaction Team. We reached the HQ of ASSAM Battalion, which was my affiliated Infantry Battalion. Same evening, I was briefed by the Battalion Commander & explained the  deployment pattern in the area of responsibility. He issued the plan of the visits, to familiarise with all the forward posts and the Key Defended Localities on the LOC.

           I was eager to understand the ground realities of LOC, about which I had only theoretical knowledge so far. Interestingly, it was termed as Cease Fire Line till Simla Agreement on 03 Jul 1972. Consequently, it was designated as Line of Control between India & Pakistan. The LOC extends from Sangam ( the Southern end ) till NJ 9842 ( the Northern end ) covering a distance of 778 kms. We were given the escort from ASSAM Battalion to guide us upto each Post & Key defended locality with the best observation of the Posts in POK. I was impressed with the bunkers, weapon pits & trenches constructed at each Post. The distance between the Posts on either side of the LOC was as close as two km. These Posts were often on the same ridge/spur. There were several minefields in the intervening space, laid by both the adversaries right since the 1947 War. There was no fencing in those days to demarcate the LOC. In fact, the construction of the fencing on the LOC commenced in 1990s and was completed by 2004. The purpose of fencing was basically to prevent smuggling and infiltration. It was a commendable effort to construct double row of fences which were electrified   and further connected to network of motion sensors, thermal imaging devices and lighting systems.

            Our movement from Post to Post had to be on foot, after leaving our vehicles at the Company adm base. It entailed a march of  6 to 8 hours on foot tracks over undulating terrain every night, since all moves had to be in hours of darkness or bad visibility, in order to minimise the observation and the small arms fire from the enemy Posts. We observed the method of maintaining round the clock vigil, while the soldiers were manning their weapons on duty or having rest, on rotation basis. Some Posts had to be replenished by mule columns, accompanied by muleteers, moving on specially constructed mule tracks. It was indeed an impressive silent service by unsung heroes!!  

          Our familiarisation schedule was completed in ten days, which was a professionally enriching experience for me personally. It was also the first occasion when I got accustomed to “Tagda Raho” --- the customary greeting of the ASSAM Regiment.  I returned to the Regiment location and submitted my recce report to my CO. 

          The packing up of stores and equipment for move by train was in progress. Simultaneously, visits to Vaishno Devi shrine were being conducted in small groups. I also availed this opportunity to offer my prayers at this famous shrine before our departure by Special train from Jammu. The journey till our destination took about ten days, with never a dull moment, since our TIGER was also accompanying us! In case of long halts due to technical reasons, he insisted on playing Volley Ball matches  on grounds adjacent to the railway siding. Besides, Kabaddi matches were  also conducted to keep us on our toes. The train finally reached Dhrangadhra and we were impressed with the grand reception by all the Regiments of the Artillery Brigade.

            Our Regiment had been allotted Office Complex & Single jawans accommodation which was newly constructed. However, married accommodation had a long waiting list. Hence. most of us were allotted temporary accommodation & the bachelors had to settle down in the  Station Officers Mess in Lal Bungalow. Jat Balwans settled down quickly in order to prepare for familiarisation visit to our new area of operational responsibility in Gadra & Munabao Sector. It was the usual --- Get, Set and Go routine of Fauji life!! 

               On 07 Feb 1983, I received the much awaited good news about the birth of my daughter at Dadar. I rushed off by the first available train & met our little angel for just a few days, before returning for op familiarisation. Later, the naming ceremony was held when we fondly welcomed NANDINI into our family. It was our fervent desire and earnest hope that soon we should settle down in this new location, in a new house & in the new  environment of the Jat Balwan family!!! 

mu grl saif her brothr said he wouldn sell shit to mr anymor bc i scare him w buyin too much xanax all thr time & ds & he scared jm gonna die an itll b traced bak to him o mu gd im laughin half of wht i wad gonna get today,i still might,if he opens my fckin snapcht msg, is for my mom . ive told him thia b4 tht whn i buy 60, 40 r for mu mom Doea he think km jusy tryin ti take all thr xanz at once or somthin lik com on,anf he saif Shes cute too tho y does she do all that and she said j dntkno . first he lnlu thinks km cute bc he only sees mr in thw dark bc he com ovr late evrytim . but wht doesd beinh cute hve ti do w anythjng anywys lik ?????cute ppl cnt do drugs????? ??? ? mu mom is cute ao i kno tht a lië

but i txted her askin if he said anythin abt me todau bc 2 days ago he saif he wouldd sell to me Today so tht means Tonight bc he alway suprrrrr fckin late idrc im up anywys it jusy mak me nervous whn he say he gona b here ay This time thn hes not im likr o ahit is he not comin

BUT anywysysh she djdnt reply ti me i txted her sry i kno ur at work sry KSJEJRKFMWKNDKS GD

O YA THTS Y I FOUND OUT Y HE DOESNT LIKE TI SELL ME XANZ BC EVRY TIM I MSG HIM ASKIN FIR ONLY XANX HE LEAVES MR ON OPEN WILL NOT REPLYL NO MATTR WHT I SAU BUT IF I WANA GET SOMTHIN ELS LIK DS IR POTVAPE HE REPLIES AS SOON AS HE OPENS IT IMA SKDKKEKAKFFHKSLALDBD BUT HE BRINGS MR THE XANZ TOO but last tim i asked fir 40 xanz & 5ds & he opened it,didnt reply,i txted him agsin an hr latr sayin or just the ds idc . & he replied rigjt awaya . gdddd i dnt evn get my oxy frm him i dnt thjnk he evn knos i do it,but y xanax of all things j buy do u think id ovrdos on like lmaooooo

Ima kms/j I just tried to post a story that took me two hours then it errored I lost everything ima cry now😭

HOWD I JUST SEE THAT POST, IMA GO KMS/j ANHHHHHHHHH