I know I don't have to but brain's being mean and I feel like I have to apologize for not posting anything about The Current Political Situation In America. it's not that I don't care. and I am aware that the level of stress that I feel when I hear or read about it is nowhere near the level of stress for black Americans and other ppl who are directly impacted. I just... can't. I can't raise awareness, I can't signal boost, it's an OCD trigger. if I reblog one post I must then reblog All of them to Prove I care. it's just not good for me. I have avoided all news for the past 2 weeks bc of the dreaded scrupulosity and impulse to virtue signal until I'm blue in the face and I just can't go back to it rn. the fact that I'm even posting this means I'm giving into my mental illness and it sucks. it's not helping me or anyone else. give OCD an inch and it'll run a mile, etc.

I just, I know I'm allowed to blog about whatever the heck I want and I shouldn't feel bad for needing to disconnect. I've just been seeing a lot of "if you cared AT ALL even a LITTLE BIT as a PERSON LIVING HERE you would post this and donate here and talk about your privilege" and I honestly. can't handle it. and I feel shitty for not being able to handle it.

this is just what the brain is doing today. idfk

anyway I'm blacklisting everything possible. if we are mutuals and you're posting about these things I would super appreciate them being tagged, or I might just temporarily unfollow. I promise it's not personal. and please please please I'm begging you not to get on my case for "not caring" I've heard a thousand variations of it already