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mikwrites-archive · 3 years

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tango in the night

♜ pairing: kim mingyu x reader ♜ warnings: death, suicide, swearing, guns, slight suggestiveness ♜ genre: apocalypse au, friends to lovers ♜ wc: 4.3k

♜ a/n: inspired by fleetwood mac’s song and the photos of mingyu from this hit performance bc WHEW - it turned out way longer than i expected and i ran past the image limit hence the weird dividers HWJBSJD ALSO every other part is a flashback so i hope its not confusing!! enjoy <33 (ps. i hope theres no mistakes bc im posting before i go to bed n im sleepyyy)

The sky is a hazy purple when Kim Mingyu reappears in your life.

There’s streaks of red on the horizon, like a bitter reminder of what it has taken to slowly heal, and something restless inside you is able to settle at the sight for a few moments as you look on from your porch.

You can tell it’s him the minute his figure solidifies past the sunflower field, but still, you rest your hand on the rifle warily. He doesn’t see you until he’s staring down your barrel, and he slows significantly.

“Stop right there.” Unwavering, you cock your rifle, aiming it straight at him.

“It’s me.” Mingyu blinks, halting, holding his hands up. He seems taller than you remember, honeyed skin curving over firm muscles.

“I know who you are.”

Kim Mingyu. You flash back to the moonlit night, tinted in deep blue and black, silver highlighting itself across his back like a sculptor’s pride. You shake yourself out of it quickly.

No use in dwelling over dreams held too closely to the heart.

“Take off your clothes.”

“Huh?” Mingyu’s features draw together confusedly, with a tinge of embarrassment.

“I need to make sure you’re not marked. It’s not like I haven’t seen you without them before.” You add on, unimpressed at his pace, and Mingyu reluctantly obliges.

“I would have enjoyed a nice candlelit dinner or something before this, didn’t know you were so possessive-”

“Oh, shut up.” You bite back a choked laugh that you hate being unable to control at his words, and Mingyu grins.

He’s got a new scar rippling across his shoulder as he turns slowly in a circle, and the others are committed to memory, traced under your fingertips more than enough.

“I think you trust me enough to know I don’t have a mark down there.” Mingyu smirks amusedly, eyes flicking down to his boxers.

You glare at him, letting your aim drop. He puts on his clothes methodically, tilting his head at you.

“You do remember that the sunflowers repel marked ones right?”

“Evolution is a sneaky bitch.” You sigh, leaning the rifle back against the rail, and Mingyu steps up the rickety porch, standing in front of you.

I missed you. You want to say. I’m glad you’re alive.

“Why are you here?”

“I dunno.” I wanted to see you if you still were here. “Nowhere else I could have gone.”

“Didn’t you know?” You crack a sarcastic grin. “We have the entire world at our fingertips.”

♜ ♜ ♜

The Apocalypse is expected.

You’re taught about it in school, the news broadcasting daily updates about another storm, another decrease in air quality, another hole in the atmosphere. The sky bled further to red every day, until you and Mingyu barely remembered its true colour.

The Virus, however, throws the world further into tempestuous chaos.

Till this day, no one knows exactly what bacteria, what symptoms, anything, except that a sickly circle mark appears somewhere on your skin.

With governments already crumbling, the disease made them shrink further within themselves, the upper class secluding themselves, and the lower succumbing, while the middle struggled, and you and Mingyu were the very latter.

Being next door neighbours, it was predetermined fate to be close friends with one another, walking home from school together, swapping lunches, and sharing secrets. Maybe even sharing a life, a love, a bond, unbreakable unless by death.

“It’s morning.” Mingyu comments, peering out the curtain, judging the light in the sky. Neither of you had slept since the announcement on the news that the Virus was now in your city.

“They’re not coming back.” You state flatly. Mingyu knew it as well, and only sighed. “They’re probably walking around downtown, not even knowing their own names.”

“They’re still our parents.” Mingyu argues weakly.

“Not anymore.”

Grim silence falls.

“Hey.” Mingyu cracks a hesitant smile, nudging you in the side. “Y’know what this means?”

Your wary stare doesn’t betray your curiosity, but Mingyu knows you.

“We have the entire world at our fingertips.”

Some kind of world, you think bitterly as you recall the memory. Yet Mingyu has a half smile on his face at your repeated words of the past, as if the world and your memories in it were meant to be savoured.

You supposed he was somewhat right.

The sky is healing back to blue and something inside you slowly begins to mend with Mingyu at your side.

♜ ♜ ♜

“You haven’t changed anything.”

“Of course not.”

Mingyu trails his fingertips along the walls. The wallpaper is peeling now, showing the bones of the structure that held too many memories to change. It felt disrespectful to shift anything, and cleaning the rooms even if they weren’t used, gave you something to do.

“Any word from the others lately?”

“I get letters from ‘Cheol, ‘Hannie, and ‘Shua. By pigeon. Can you believe it? Leave it to ‘Shua to tame pigeons in his spare time.” You snort, and Mingyu laughs at the image of Joshua with a pigeon. “They tell me about the other when they get news.”

“So no one else has visited?”

You shake your head.

“You’ve been alone?”

“I’m never alone.”

Mingyu swallows the lump in his throat. You don’t need to elaborate. He understands.

“I’m scared of forgetting them though.” You whisper. “Jun. Soonyoung. Seungkwan. Hansol. Chan.”

Junhui. No one knows where he is, except Minghao. He wanted it that way, whispering in soft Mandarin to his friend, and Minghao had disappeared for hours after Jun closed his eyes forever.

It was Minghao who pulled the trigger too, Jun pressing the pistol into his hand trustingly, the circle mark creeping out from under his t-shirt collar.

Soonyoung. He’s in the sunflower field, the one who had told you all about their repelling abilities. The sunflower boy, quiet yet exuberant, always facing the light.

He went too soon towards it, getting the group of you out of an abandoned mall populated with marked ones, deep gashes bloodying his clothes. His last breath was in Jeonghan’s arms, in the second bedroom of your house now.

Seungkwan and Hansol. All that you found of them was torn tie-dye cloth, and a battered navy cap, after they didn’t come back from looking for supplies. The last thing they had said to you, you remember clearly. A crooked smile, a breathless laugh. See you later.

Chan.

It was too soon to think about Chan.

♜ ♜ ♜

It was a week later when you both agreed to venture out of your house, and to go to the school. It was eerily quiet in your neighbourhood, the red from the atmosphere elongating the shadows.

The school is dark, and you barely make it two steps in when you encounter others.

“Who’s there?” The voice is loud, demanding, and with the shuffling that follows, you can tell you’re outnumbered in the dim light.

There’s a click of a gun, and you and Mingyu freeze. He scrambles for your hand reassuringly. Squeezes it once.

“Names. Now. And why you’re here.”

“We wanted to see if anyone would be here. If anyone could help us.” You stammer after you state your names.

“They’re okay. They’re in my class.” Minghao steps into view solemnly, and suddenly you both feel like you can breathe again.

There’s twelve of them.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jihoon, Minghao, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan.

A tentative system is already set up in the days they’d arrived before you, and it’s easy to fit in. There’s a lot of travelling by foot until Jeonghan learns how to hotwire cars, tired of walking. There’s a lot of scavenging for weapons and food, competitions made out of it. There’s lots of soft singing, fooling around, and lots of quiet nights, holding each other.

The house is long abandoned by the time you all stumble across it, and it’s quickly shaped into a home.

You remember planting sunflower bulbs. Attempting numerous recipes to accommodate the scarce ingredients and everyone’s tastes. Sticky notes and knick-knacks everywhere. You couldn’t say it was broken when the group diminished in number, but the gaps left with each mourning never went away.

Soon enough, it was only you left in an empty house you still called home, despite lacking everything that once made it one. You, with the wispy dreams long gone, and the nightmares.

♜ ♜ ♜

The door slams open, and you wake up, the scream dying in your throat along with the night terror, and you forget you’re not alone anymore when your bedroom door bursts open.

Mingyu holds you close, soothing whispers falling from his lips, rocking you back and forth gently, and you shove him away like his touch scalds you, and in a way it does.

It’s burning, the evocation of the past, and once he relents, a shuddering chill falls over your body.

“Who was it?” Mingyu asks softly, and you can’t look at him. The moon shines too bright for your liking through your window.

You heave, eyes fluttering shut, shaking as a mix of sweat and tears drip down your cheeks.

“Chan.” You croak.

Mingyu imperceptibly flinches as if the gunshot reverberated just outside again.

♜ ♜ ♜

Chan was always clinging to you.

It was something the others all teased him about, picking favourites, and you remember his indignant response every time.

“If they don’t have a problem with it, why do you?”

And you never did have a problem. Chan was like your little brother, much like to everyone else in your ragtag team, doting on him in a world where loving care was scarce. You wished you could have shielded him from it all.

“I’m tired.”

“Then go to sleep.” You murmur with a teasing gleam of a smile, comfortingly smoothing his hair back. He’d been having nightmares more frequently since Soonyoung was laid down in the sunflowers, and it was common for one of you to stay up with him.

“Not that kind of tired. I keep… I keep seeing them. I want it to stop.” A tear rolls down his cheek, and you move to brush it away, but he beats you to it, struggling to sit up.

“Channie…”

His head falls to your shoulder, choking out sobs. You hold him close, praying to whatever higher being that may exist to spare him from further despair. And if no such thing existed, you’d swore to make one into life out of your own blood and tears.

“I’m not a baby anymore. You know that right?” He sniffles once he calms down.

“I know.” You blink, startled at his sudden statement.

“I know I’m the youngest… but I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” You nod, and Chan stares piercingly at you, before slumping down against his bed frame.

“I’m tired.”

You don’t say anything, unsettled at his sudden shift.

“Can you go get me a glass of water? I think it’ll help me sleep better.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” He calls out, and you pause, smiling at him. He returns it.

You drop the glass when the shot rings out, shattering across the floor, water cascading like the blood on the floorboards just above you.

You run up, uncaring of the glass shards, collapsing to your knees when the sight unfolds in front of you, thundering footsteps of the others hot on your heels.

They have to pry you away from his body, and you’re positive you’ve torn his shirt in your struggle, the blood on your hands unrecognizable from his or from your ripped off nails. The dark stain still lies on the wood under your feet when you dare to venture into the room painfully.

You sobbed for nights on end. You weep this night too. Mingyu sits by your side.

♜ ♜ ♜

“I think we should ask the others to come back again.” Mingyu clinks his spoon against the side of his cereal bowl, wincing when it resonates, as if increasing the severity of his suggestion. Yet it’s said in a tone of careful deliberation that has you knowing he’s thought it out.

So you pause in slathering butter on your toast. Setting down the knife and slice of bread, you lean your palms on the counter, thinking.

You wondered if Jeonghan still had trouble sleeping at times. You wondered if Jihoon still liked to write lyrics on whatever slips of paper he could find. You wonder if Minghao still stopped to look at the rain whenever it did. You wondered.

“Okay.” You nod finally, and Mingyu perks up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Turning to stare out the window, you watch the sparrows swoop across the long abandoned telephone wires.

“I think it’s time.”

♜ ♜ ♜

Everyone leaves soon after that.

Everyone except Mingyu.

You don’t blame them. There’s promises to find ways to keep in touch. But it hurts all the same. And there’s no doubt it’s harder for you both to survive alone.

“Hey, wait, stop.” You grab Mingyu’s arm suddenly, nearly scaring the living daylights out of him as you make your way back to the house from scavenging for extra supplies and food, your voice hushed in the dark evening.

“My parents were wearing jackets like that the last time I saw them.”

Mingyu looks over at where your gaze lies, lost between the figures of two people undoubtedly victims of the Virus. Though Mingyu supposes he can’t call them people anymore.

“Let’s go.” Mingyu tugs at your arm. When you don’t move, he does it again, harsher.

“But…” You’re adamant, digging your heels in the dirt firmly, wistfully staring at the couple, staggering around a long abandoned car.

“Don’t you remember? They’re probably walking around downtown, not even knowing their own names.” Mingyu persuades, and you take a reluctant step with him.

“But what if it’s really them?” You persist, and Mingyu makes you stare into his eyes. The expression that meets his is chilling. Your gaze is clear, unmuddled, and somehow, that’s more terrifying to him than if they were glazed over by a lost delirium.

You pull out of his grip, and before he can stop you, you call over to them. A cold shiver runs down Mingyu’s spine as they look up at you both, ambling over, and he grabs you again.

“What are you doing?” He hisses.

“Aren’t you tired, ‘Gyu?” You state simply, helplessly. “Aren’t you tired of being alone?”

Something in Mingyu’s gaze hardens, like glowing tempered steel doused in water, and he yanks you back, pressing you to his chest, two shots firing off from his hand.

You squirm, shouting at him, and he claps a hand over your mouth, pulling you along with him. He drags you all the way back to the house, even after you stop resisting.

You disappear up the stairs the minute he lets go, and he watches you. He waits a few moments before following you, biting the inside of his cheek.

He finds you in Chan’s room, sitting on the bed cross legged, staring forlornly at the stained wooden boards.

“I know you’re hurting. It hurts for me too. But don’t take it out on me. Please.” Mingyu whispers from the doorway, and when you look up, he slowly walks over, sitting beside you carefully. “And I’m not tired of being alone.” He adds on quietly. “I’ve always had you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m really glad to have you by my side. Honestly. I just… I miss Chan. I miss everyone.” You lean on his shoulder tiredly.

“I know.” Mingyu says softly. “I know.”

He interlocks his fingers with yours, squeezing once.

“But there’ll be a time when we can be back together again.”

♜ ♜ ♜

It’s late springtime when they start to come home.

The air is warm, a gentle breeze often caressing your cheeks, and the sun lingers longer, a telltale sign of the upcoming summer.

It was a long ideal, letters taking weeks to send and the whereabouts of each group or person completely in the hands, or wings, of Joshua’s pigeons.

You’re pinning laundry to the clothesline when Mingyu thunders down the stairs, flying past you from the hallway.

“What’s going on?” You call, eyebrows furrowed concernedly, and he skids back, a grin curving beautifully across his face.

“Someone’s here.”

Dropping whatever was in your hands, you race after him, and you can’t help but break into an identical grin as you see Wonwoo and Jihoon stepping onto the porch. You both stand opposite each other from the doorway, until Wonwoo speaks drily.

“Long time no see.”

“No shit.” Mingyu laughs, striding to give them both a hug, and you join them, cheeks hurting from your joy. Jihoon even returns the embrace.

Minghao shows up that night, seeing him in the dim distance as you light the lanterns on the porch, calling the rest of them who are catching up over the dinner table.

“Nice to see you again.” Minghao smiles warmly, genuinely happy, and you’re all eager to throw your arms around him. “Alright, alright.” He giggles softly, nodding as he pries you off, walking inside and joining the group.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua are the last, appearing the next morning, just before the sun rises, with Mingyu, Jihoon, and Wonwoo still sound asleep, Minghao making tea for you and him.

“You’re awake early.”

“So are you.” He states pointedly by the kettle, and you smile. “Dreams?”

Your expression turns solemn at that, and you nod. Minghao pours the steaming liquid carefully, sliding the cup to you before he speaks again.

“I see Junhui most nights. Sometimes it’s nice. A good memory. Like when he let the chickens fly away because he thought they couldn’t fly. Or just the sound of his laugh. And sometimes…” Minghao hesitates, swallowing harshly. “Sometimes it’s me pulling the trigger over and over.”

You don’t realize you’re crying until Minghao hands you a tissue, and you brush at the wetness on your cheeks gently.

“Thank you.”

He smiles, a bit melancholy, and rises, beckoning you to the porch to watch the sunrise, hands wrapped around the warm mugs. You sit and wait in comfortable silence until it’s broken by a rumble of an engine pulling up.

“Surprise!”

“Joshua Hong, what the fuck!” You yelp, standing incredulously as they step out of the car. “Is that really you?”

“The one and only.”

“I mean this in the most admirable way possible, your arms are huge.”

“Not bigger than me.” Seungcheol grins, and both of them flex, Seungcheol burying his head in his hands embarrassedly afterwards as everyone laughs.

“Yes, we get it, but without me, no matter how many muscles, you’d probably be dead.” Jeonghan drawls, slinging his arms around their shoulders. “Did you guys have breakfast yet?”

“Not even a hello?” You laugh, the others join you as bickering breaks out, and when the dawning sunlight floods through the windows, something inside you feels like the last piece has fitted in your soul, finally complete.

♜ ♜ ♜

“What would you say if I went away for a little bit?”

Mingyu brings it up over washing dishes, the rush of running tap water almost drowning out his nervous inquiry. You don’t pause in your drying of a plate, yet you wonder if he can see the way your hands tremble.

It’s been a few months since Chan was buried next to Soonyoung, and you were doing better. Slowly, like honey trickling down the beehive on the old maple in the backyard, the result of hard labour like the bustling bees.

“A little bit? Or a while?”

“I don’t know yet.” He admits, and you swallow.

“Will you be okay?”

“Will you?” He asks in response, and you exhale.

“I think so.”

Turning off the water, Mingyu flicks the water off his hands into the sink, and then taps your cheek to make you look at him.

“I want you to be sure that you’ll be okay.”

“I will be.” You say more strongly this time, almost like a resolution to yourself, and MIngyu’s gaze lingers, before it drops with a nod.

“Okay.”

“When will you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning probably.” He laughs, but it sounds forced. “I don’t have many things.”

You nod, smiling weakly.

“Okay.”

He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it. You finish doing the dishes in silence.

♜ ♜ ♜

Noise becomes a constant in the house, or outside of it, as the days get warmer and more hours are spent in the sun.

Today was no different, Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Mingyu washing the car, while Minghao and Jeonghan sat with you on the porch watching them.

“So.” Minghao starts, and you raise your eyebrows.

“So.”

“You and Mingyu?”

“What about me and Mingyu?”

“God, I’ve been waiting for years for you idiots to realize, and you’re telling me it still hasn’t happened?” Jeonghan sputters, and Minghao snorts.

“Something had to have happened.” Minghao agrees.

“I can't say if it was something or not.” You admit quietly.

“But it wasn’t nothing.” Minghao implores knowingly, and you lapse into silence.

♜ ♜ ♜

You’re awoken by a pounding at your bedroom door the same night. It ceases for a few seconds, making you think you’re dreaming until it starts up again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” You shout, untangling your body from the mess of tossed covers, and you can’t help but feel irritated even if there was any threat of danger. You don’t bother turning on the lights, the moonlight bright enough. Throwing open the door, you glare at a disheveled Mingyu, as if he ran his hands through his hair too many times. “What?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“This couldn’t wait until the morning?” You gripe, and MIngyu’s face falls, and you realize it couldn’t wait till the last moment before he left. You soften, slightly ashamed. “What is it?”

“You’re my best friend. You know that right?”

The words sting, and you’re not entirely sure why, but you nod.

“I know.”

Mingyu swallows. His hands flutter at his sides, uncertain, and you can’t help but feel the same at his behaviour.

“Mingyu, what’s-”

His lips fall onto yours, you think that’s the only explanation, but they’re soft, gentle, in a way that encompasses you with warmth and you can’t help falling into the embrace.

“You’re my best friend.” He whispers between kisses, over and over, and the words take on a new meaning with the tender look in his eyes as you fall back onto your bed. “You know that right? Tell me you know.”

“I know ‘Gyu. I know.” You murmur breathlessly, cupping his face, and the moon seems to shine just for him.

You knew Kim Mingyu in the sun like it was his natural element. But Kim Mingyu in the moon was like the supernatural, silver stealing across his jaw, his biceps, shoulder blades, every sharp and smooth curve that had you in its deadly soft clutches.

But it was still Mingyu. Your Mingyu. Your best friend.

♜ ♜ ♜

“Morning.”

Mingyu chimes cheerily, ambling into your room and drawing the blinds back, sunlight blinding your groggy state.

“Mingyu, what the fuck?”

“Jeonghan said we can borrow the car for the day.” Mingyu swings the keys from his hand excitedly. “I may or may not have woken him up to ask so he didn’t care, but still.”

“To do what?”

“Roadtrip.” Mingyu shrugs, smiling, as if to say what else? “I’ll meet you downstairs in ten minutes.”

You use an old map from the dusty attic space, tracing a route to the beach, and packing some sandwiches along. It’s soothing, the wind flowing through the rolled down windows, Mingyu’s old sunglasses perched on his nose as he drives and sings to some random song that resurfaced in his memory.

He sets up the blanket and basket of food while you stand at the tip of where the tide came in, watching the lulling waves roll.

“What’re you thinking about?” He huffs, tucking his hands in his pockets as he stands next to you, glancing at your solemn features.

“Do you remember,” you start just as Mingyu’s about to repeat his question, “that night?”

“You’ve gotta be a little more specific there.”

“The night before you left.”

Mingyu stares out across the water, wind ruffling his hair.

“Yeah.” He answers simply.

“Why me?” You blurt.

“What?”

“You could have had anyone, so why me?”

Mingyu knows you’re not talking only about that night now, but the entirety of your existence together. Maybe it was the fate of next door neighbours. Maybe it was the fact of the Apocalypse that numbers had strength. Or maybe…

“Because you’re the only one I want, you always have been. Is that really so hard to believe?”

“A little.” You whisper, and Mingyu looks at you finally.

“I’ll be by your side as long as I can. You don’t have to return anything. Just let me do that and I’ll be happy.”

“Then why did you leave that time?”

“Because I was scared. I couldn’t help but think that one of us might get the Virus. Then… I don’t think I would have been able to do it.” He admits, kicking at the sand lightly.

“You’re stupid.”

“Thanks.” Mingyu snorts sarcastically, and you sigh.

“You’re stupid to think that I wouldn’t want you by my side always. You’re stupid to think I depend on you too much, because people need to depend on each other. And… and you’re stupid to think I don’t love you.”

“You don’t make any sense.” He shakes his head, but he’s chuckling softly.

“You’re my best friend. You know that right?”

You clasp his hand firmly, looking at him, and he returns your gaze, slowly tugging him close. You press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, and they curve upwards gently as he murmurs.

“I know.”

♜ taglist: @seijoh @soranihimawari @peachy-yabbay

#caratwritersclub #kim mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #kim mingyu imagines #kim mingyu scenarios #svt x you #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen x you #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #tw suicide #suicide tw

79 notes · View notes

bo0zey · 4 years

Note

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person???

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!!

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

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benhaardy · 5 years

Text

king of my heart || b.h.

(i apologize i do not know where this gif is from i found it on weheartit but im not sure thats who made it but here is the post. if you are the owner please let me know so i can credit or take it off at your request. thanks!)

Summary: Ben takes you to the Bohemian Rhapsody premiere and you reminisce of his accomplishments and your years-long friendship.

Request: Can you do a fluffy first kiss imagine with Ben? Thanks!

A/N: so uhhh the request was literally the simplest thing EVER but my extra ass had to put some Extra Sass™ upon this lol. idk why i wanted to go big for such a simple prompt but its ben and its his birthday today so HE DESERVES IT!

gotta add in that S H E E R D R E S S S H I R T because i’m still not over it, thank u, next.

the outfit i had in mind: dress (the one in the middle) shoes necklace earrings, though obviously you can imagine your own outfit.

song that the title/some of the fic is based off: king of my heart by taylor swift

obviously, i am a huge fan of the longtime best friends to lovers cliche and idk if anyone else thinks this but i write my characters as super affectionate in the first place so i hope it isn’t weird to anyone to have like the really touchy-feely best friends or friendships in my stories ig? idk, just a thought cause i literally just noticed how affectionate my characters are ANYWAYS here's wonderwall

thank you for sending a request in! hope you enjoy it!

also happy birthday to our king i hope he has a beautiful day

Wordcount: 1.7k

Warnings: a few frick words (2). fem!reader. mention of nudity. fluffy!! not proofread, but beta’d

“Ready, Y/N?” Ben called from downstairs

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

You put the final touches of your outfit on. Perfume on your wrists, Tiffany necklace on, you went down the stairs carrying your nude Louboutins and adjusting your earrings. It wasn’t really your style to do any of this, really, but your best friend Ben had wanted to take you to the Bohemian Rhapsody premiere. Go big or go home, you figured. At his asking, you didn’t see or know what he was going to wear so you played it safe with a black dress.

You went down the stairs and got to the bottom floor. Ben was standing in the middle of the living room, back turned to you. He was looking down at the cat weaving in between his legs. As far as you could see, he was wearing an all black suit. “Ben?” you said. He whipped around to see you as you were putting on your shoes.

“Oh, wow, Y/N,” he beamed. Ben put his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide with surprise. “You look so good!” You opened your arms to embrace him, to which he stepped into, his arms around your waist.

After a few seconds, you both pulled away but his arms still stayed in their place and your hands lingered on his biceps. “I could say the same about you, Benny! Everything looks great!” He let you go fully. You looked up and down at his outfit. Sheer black dress shirt, black blazer and trousers, everything was tailored perfectly to his body. You grinned. He cleaned up very well, but it wasn’t like he didn’t dress nice in the first place.

“Ready to go?” he asked. “Car’s waiting outside.”

“Ready.”

You watched from the side of the carpet as the main cast were getting photographed together. That was your best friend! Standing next to Roger fucking Taylor and Brian fucking May. Everything still felt surreal, though he had been in the public spotlight for the past few years, this felt different. Your senses just felt heightened. The flashing lights, the hues of purple and pink and gold all around, surrounded by people you either knew well or were complete strangers to you. Your eyesight was crisp, noticing everything you could, taking it all in. You did musical theatre, you hadn’t really dealt with something as big as this, even with Apocalypse.

And here your best friend was, in the middle of all of this. Your mind played back all the memories of you two in drama school with his all-nighters, monologue after monologue, script after script. You couldn’t be more proud of your closest friend, all of his hard work going to this. You could remember Ben’s shifty eyes backstage the very first show of Judas Kiss and the blush on his cheeks after the show when he remembered that you had watched him perform and there was that one scene of full frontal; he figured it was worth the embarrassment, it’s not as if you hadn’t seen worse.

Back to Eastenders and its countless shirtless and kissing scenes. You thought back to the countless nights that you spent up with him when he was weighing leaving the show or becoming Archangel. At your own urging, Ben left Eastenders, ready for the next chapter, ready for the next big thing. One of the best memories of your life was traveling to the United States with him for Comic-Con and driving up and down the west coast a week before he had to attend it. He took you to Disneyland and Universal Studios after everything with the convention was said and done.

Now, Bohemian Rhapsody! You laughed at the memories of Ben scrambling to find a good drum teacher close by and how he turned up in the middle of the night to your flat to tell you he got the part. You couldn’t ever forget his embrace in the dark of your living room, his face buried in your shoulder and his arms, tight and strong around your waist. Your happy tears wiped away by Ben’s hand as you drew apart. Though you both were excited, it was still the middle of the night, so you both just slept in your bed once more with the cats.

Ben would always invite you over to watch him play and give your input. You had to admit, he had gotten pretty good over all the lessons. Though you discouraged his lying about playing the drums and seeing the consequences in his clamber to learn as much as possible, it paid off in the best way possible. They started the process of making the movie. Though you couldn’t really be by his side throughout filming, you were basically there, his perpetual FaceTimes keeping you in the loop with everyone. You even “met” the guys and Lucy, who you hit off with very well. Ben made sure you were always by his side and he was always by yours.

So when you saw him here, at his biggest premiere surrounded by even more amazing actors and actresses, you couldn’t help but shed a tear. This role of Roger had basically brought him into the light.

You watched them take pictures until Ben beckoned you over, the group disbanding and walking over to their families and significant others to pose for their own photos. You came over and he put his arm around your waist, hugging you close. Your hand was on his back and you both posed for pictures, the flash basically blinding you, the sounds of the shutters all around. “Smile,” Ben whispered into your ear.

Everyone was at the rooftop restaurant that you were all going to eat at after the premiere. You were sitting in between Roger and Ben, having been introduced to all of the people around the table. Never in a million years, you thought, never in a million years did you think you’d be here, conversing with the real Roger Taylor or getting along with his daughters, or telling Lucy Boynton and Anita Dobson where you got your necklace and earrings.

“If you’ll excuse us, Y/N and I are going to go out to the balcony,”

You scooped another spoon of food in your mouth before saying, “Oh, okay we are? Okay.” You gave a polite smile to Roger, who you were talking to before Ben got your attention. Standing up, you followed Ben out of the tall, ornate door, out to the terrace where you could see all of London. The view was breathtaking.

“What is this all about?” you inquired as you came over to Ben standing with his hand on the glass, observing the scenery in front of him, the various coloured lights illuminating London.

“How do you feel about all this, Y/N? The whole shazam,” he questioned, wanting to know your true feelings about everything.

You shook your head, “What can I say?” You looked out along with him. “If you had told me in the first year of uni when we met that we would be here right now. Eating dinner with two freaking members of Queen and their families and being around some of the best actors and musicians in the world!” You said, your voice breathy. It was crazy what your best friend had been able to accomplish. “I would’ve slapped you and called you mental. This is all so... wow.”

“I couldn’t have made it here without you, Y/N. I’d be a complete and utter trainwreck. I wouldn’t even, like, survive without you, you know?”

“Ben,” you shook your head vigourously, “Don’t…don’t. This is your thing. This is your work. This is your doing. I was just there along for the ride and you were there with me,” you reasoned. “It’s just...just that simple.”

He shook his head but smiled. “None of this is that simple.” Ben turned to face you, still looking down. You moved to look at him yourself. “You mean everything to me, really. It’s not just the support. It’s the little things. It’s how you never fail to put your jumper sleeves over your hands and bury ‘em in your face. It’s how you look at me when you’re adjusting my suit and doing that little,” he paused and did little sweeping movements in the air, “that little sweepy thing on my lapels and you look back up at me and smile. The way you smile, the way you look at me, love, it just- it drives me crazy in the best way. You’re always there for me, yes, but that is not the only reason that I love you.” Ben took hold of your hand and held it close to his heart, his hand encapsulating yours entirely. “I want you, Y/N.”

You leaned forward and an abundance of holy shit holy shit did I just do that did I really just do that did he reeeallly just say those amazing things about me?’s rang through your head, echoing and echoing. You kissed him. His plump lips were upon yours finally. At first, Ben was stiff, taken by surprise at your sudden action but he softened quickly with the feeling of you on him. Your hand stayed on his chest while his moved down to your hips. As the kiss deepened, you laced your hands around his neck.

He pulled away. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted that, love,” he said, breathless, his lips swollen and pink.

“Me too, Ben.” You smiled and cupped his cheek in your hand, to which he kissed your palm and held your wrist lightly. He looked down at his shoes, blushing.

“We should—“ he started, his thumb pointing back to the inside. “We shoul—“

You exhaled. “Y-Yeah, yeah we should, we should.” Ben grabbed your hand and led you inside. He pulled your chair out for you and you sat in it. You brushed imaginary dirt off your dress, trying to act casual.

“Looks like you two had fun out there!” exclaimed Roger, a bellowing laugh coming from him.

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