happy birthday to techno and happy pride month to everyone else

Happy Birthday Miyu Sugisaki (for tommorow) might do some art for her idk

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Edit: ah heck! Ive had this queued for months, but i forgot to actually do the art haha, i’ll get something done overnight so it might be rushed and look like trash, it might look reasonably ok. Who knows at this point. I dont trust the sleepy version of myself to create anything good but hey, theyv created some stuff that wasn’t horrifying before :/

Ok, starting here i legit just start live-blogging myself staying up alnight drawing. Ignore me. I didnt know where else to say it. I’ll delete it later.

Edit 2: this isnt gonna be done. Like frick, i just spent 6 hours on miyu’s fricking hairstyle, thats all done and even shaded and looking fabulous but ive only got a rough lineart for litterally everything else. This might not be done, but if it is then her hair is gonna be a fuckign masterpiece (i hope). Im writing this edit at 1:42am, and im gonna go to bed somewhere between 4 and 5, lets go! Hell yeah! I might do this! Perhaps! Im gonna try! 3-4 sprint time! Yeah!

Edit 3: frick, im failing to do this, miserably. Its 3:03am and i got distracted playing mobile games and didn’t get anything done. My existence is futile, existentially im a waste and I should not exist. The atoms within me deserve to be part of something better. Sorry. I’m a f*ck up and unless I get my sh*t together in the next like 5 mins (unlikely) then this aint gonna be finished.

Edit 4: ok, meltdown like 20% over. Its 3:52am, I think the issue then was the face. Faces r hard bruh, they suck do draw. They a festive lil ho ho ho. I was drawing everything too high up on the face cuz my dumb *ss forgot to draw the line thingys on the face or even look at a reference image for proportions. Ive done it now amd life is now a bit more on track. Might get this done if I continue work in the morning.

Edit 4.5: nothin much (hence the .5), its 4:14am, just downed 4 cups o tea for caffeine and sugar (all the coffee we got is decaf lol). I’m gonna get this sh*t done! Ive litterally only coloured down to the face, neck and the hair but still.... I’m gonna get it done anyway! I dont care about going to bed between 4-5 anymore! I’m getting this done!

Edit 5: its less than ten mins later (4:22am) and im taking a quick 20m break to watch youtube while I wait for the caffeine to kick in because im too braindead to continue right now. Like what art style am i even trying? Idk... its really fricking complex tho. Lowkey pretty tho, like if i finish this im gonna be so proud of it like it looks great. But its taking forever and im need break.

Edit 6: ok we back. Its 4:41am, caffeine has not really kicked in but i cant permit myself any more time anyway. Back to drawning.

Edit 7: holy frick, new episode of the vrains dub came out. Man... im leaving vrains fanart to watch the vrains dub. Am I obsessed? Is this hyperfixation? Probably? Either way, its 4:50am and im going to go watch the new episode. I’ll come back to this when im done.

Edit 8: HOLY FRICK GUYS! THE DRAWING APP IM USING KEEPS CRASHING AND SAYS ITS STILL THERE BUT WONT LET ME CONTINUE AND KICKING ME OFF THE APP?!?! ITS 5:06AM AND THE PANIC ATTAC IS BACC! The new episode of the dub isnt completely out yet, im watching that version on yt where its just smol clips of it. Not all the clips r up yet. I was just going on it while waiting for the next clips to go up and thats when the app did the thing and life got 280% sucky-er.

Edit: 8.5 wahoot it stopped kicking me off the app and it let me continue. Its 5:12am and we are FINALLY continuing.

Edit 9: its 5:36 Im tired sleep time I’ll finis thos in the morning goodbye yall have a greatt day

Edit 10: ok, so im a failure. We live in the timeline that god abandoned. I cannot sleep. I shall get more cups of tea, watch yt until the caffeine actually kicks in, and then continue. Its 6:03 right now, I shall be back. Perhaps half an hour?

Edit 10.5: its 6:11am. Not much has happened, just a slight change of plans. Ik its irrelevant but im liveblogging so i gotta say, my eye hurts so im gonna stop looking at screens. Perhaps gonna try to sleep again, if not then i’ll put read a book, redo my makeup (it smudgey) or straight up just listen to music and stare into the void. Litterally anything other than look at my laptop/phone. Peace out homies, i’ll be back at some point before 7 probably (unless i do go to sleep).

Edit 11: Its 6:41am, my eye hurts. Ive been staring into the darkness and listening to various fallout boy songs. Now i feel edgy. Its been half an hour, so im gonna continue drawing. Caffeine and sugar has worn off again so im tired and unmotivated but yno what, it is what it is. Aint life nifty, i gotta get this done.

Edit 12: 6:52 everything burns im in pain my eye is on frickign fire and it looks bloodshot but now also weird azz headache that i never got one like this before so im gonna turn off all lights cuz that seems to make it marginally better am i dying probably idk either way im not gonna continue for multiple hours it is stare into the void time and stare into the void time alone ok this should be the last update

Edit 13: It is 3:16pm, didn’t continue liveblogging cuz i got one heck of a migrane. Im back and well... Happy birthday Miyu for today! I’m still gonna try to get this god forsaken art done, but holy shit what is that art style i did. Its genuinely nothing like anything ive done before, I don’t remember doing any of the colouring but apparently I did and it looks better than anything ive done before and idk if non-fricked up me can replicate it. I’m starting to wonder if i got bored and just copied it or something, like idk how i did it. Look at it

The grey is the lineart I remember doing but man tHE FRICKIGN HAIR like i couldnt have created that, could I? I can see why it was taking so long yesterday like holy shit man that stuff takes time yno

Final result of the anti-anxiety daily walk super plan!

I failed at the last hurdle lol. But also sorta not?? Cos i mixed up the days and technically i should bhave finished on the 5th but i was going until the 7th. So i ended up doing 8 days and just missed the 9th when i never wanted to do 9 in the first place so TECHNICALLY i won???

And really it kinda wasnt my fault here, i didnt ditch the last lap around the neighbourhood cos of anxiety but cos the weather is EVEN SHITTIER THAN USUAL TODAY. Hot weather and britain really do not mix, we have no airconditioning and are used to cold rainyness all year round so our houses are built to stay warm. And everytging's crowded so going outside is heat hell too! Its been sweaty AF all week and im proud of myself for still being able to keep up the daily walk despite that. Probably got better exercise than expected, tho it also made it harder to be non anxious in crowds! Some days were too hot to wear my binder without fainting, and i legit have never been out in short sleeves and non baggy clothes for almost ten years. So again, very proud of myself! Icm becoming way more comfortable going into crowds as The Me and Not Dying! But today was the absolute worst hottest day in an already horrible summer, and i just couldnt do it. I did go out for a small walk technically but i literally just went 20 metres and then went back indoors cos i was Already Dead. I joined a pokemon go raid with another dude tho so that was almost a functional social interaction! XD but yeah after ten minutes of resting in the shade doing pokems it became apparant i was not gonna be able tp bounce back from this potential heatstroke lol. But i didnt count it as a walk cosi didnt even gegt one kilometre. But then again the original intent was anti anxiety rather than the most exercise, so maybe it did cpunt cos it was stressful sweaty gross day and the road outside my house was pretty crowded and all? Ehhi probably should have decided on the actual rules for this thing before i started doing it, lol...

Anyway final result was 14km walked in the super sun, and thats not half bad! Thats double the very minimal goal i set of a 1km lap of the neighbourhood each day. And i prevailed through 4 mildly socially awkward situations, which shall each be a quarter of a point, perhaps! I do not know what i win with my 15 points but i sure do have them!

But alas i might be a tad delayed on the drawing prompt monster i was gonna make at the end of the week. Its so fuckon hot that my computer whirrs up to potentially dangerous heats after just an hour of work. And my keyboard and chair are also Burning, and for the most part i can block out the screen glare but its still throwing off my perception of colours and contrast. I was absolutely heat destroyed just doing that stupid lil nintendo switch photo edit to warm up my skills :(

But i have doodled a bunch of potential designs! So if u guys wanna see this unfinished stuff in bad phone photo form, i could upload that? Or i can just try and stay up all night and hope it cools down enough in the brief 4-5 hour window of darkness we have. Seriously i havent been getting good sleep for ages, i cant sleep without a semi weighty blanket on my shoulders yet it boils me alive yet if i try and sleep without the blanket im just laying awake for hours and then i still wake up from boiling alive just slightly less so. Alas! And ive been trying to do strategies like sticking the blanket up over the window as improvised curtains cos MY DUMB HOUSE HAS NO CURTAIN RAIL but it keeps falling down even when i nail it in. I cant use proper big nails cos the landlord said only sticking up posters with tape and stuff. I think i might be allowed to paint the walls tho but thats irrelevant.

ANYWAY BUNNI IS A BAKED POTATO AND RAMBLING FROM STRESS OK BYE

Im gonna go doodle more and try and not die